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Kip couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this happy. His graduation ceremony had been hours ago, but Elena and Maria had refused to let him take off any of the regalia, which meant he was still wearing the gown and hood as he and his father finally stumbled back into their house at a much later hour than either of them had expected. Kip felt warm and soft as he followed his dad into the front hall, leaning a little too much weight against the door.
“Thanks for hanging all night, Dad,” he said, only slightly tipsy after the night of celebration. “You really didn’t have to.”
“It’s your night, bud.” His dad grinned at him before he shooed Kip to the side. He locked the door and turned off the porch light. Kip watched him, warmth still seeping throughout his body. He was the luckiest son in the world to have such a wonderful dad. “You worked so hard to get here, Kip. I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it a million more times, but I am so incredibly proud of you.”
Kip swallowed past the lump swelling in his throat. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”
His dad scoffed, reaching up to adjust the fall of Kip’s hood. “Don’t do that, bud. This was all you. I’m just lucky I got to support you. Watch you become this amazing young man who’s going on to accomplish even more.”
Kip didn’t bother pushing back the tears this time. He folded himself into his dad’s arms, hugging him as tight as he could. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you.” They hugged in the front hall, a few tears sliding down Kip’s face, and he couldn’t help but be reminded of the last time they’d stood like this. The ache of that hurt, the night he’d realized the man he loved couldn’t give him what they both deserved, it was almost enough to dampen the joy and pride that had seeped into his bones.
Kip cleared his throat, choosing instead to focus on the present rather than the past. “I’m gonna head up to bed.”
“You’ve had a long day,” his dad agreed, tousling his hair. “Mr. Graduate.”
Kip batted his dad’s hand away with a laugh. “Excuse me, this isn’t my first degree.”
“Oh, pardon me. Too good for your old man, huh?”
Kip laughed again. “Goodnight, Dad.”
“Night, buddy.”
He was slow in going up the steps, doing his best not to trip on the hem of his gown even as he fished his phone out of his pocket. He’d had it off all day, wanting to stay in the moment with his classmates and friends and family. He was glad he had; as soon as he powered it on, his phone was blowing up with notifications. Kip smiled, sure his texts were full of pictures from Shawn and Maria from the moment they’d arrived in the stadium to when Kip and his dad had left the Kingfisher.
He sent off a quick message to his friends to let them know he was home safe before tossing his phone on his bed to finally strip out of the hood and gown. He’d only managed to get the robe halfway over his head before his phone was ringing with the loud and insistent tone Elena had set for herself years ago.
Kip nearly fell over in his haste, struggling to pull his arms out of the gown in time to answer the phone before it went to voicemail. “Hey,” Kip said, out of breath as he put Elena on speaker. “What, do you miss me already?”
“Have you been on Twitter? Checked your texts? Anything?”
Kip frowned, sitting on the edge of his bed to finally remove his shoes after hours and hours. “I only just got home, Elena. I haven’t been on my phone all day. Why don’t you just—”
“He was there,” Elena interrupted him. “At your graduation.”
Kip froze, turning to stare at the phone on his comforter with his shoes still hanging from his hands. “Who was there?”
“Who else? Scott Hunter.”
He felt like the floor was falling out from under him. Had he drunk more than he thought? There was no way Elena had just said what he thought she’d said. No matter how much he wanted it to be true.
“It’s all over Twitter,” Elena was saying, her voice sounding as if it was coming from much farther away. “Everyone’s wondering why he was at Columbia’s graduation, no one can make sense of it. Maria and Shawn keep asking me if I know anything, but obviously I said nothing, I mean, I don’t know anything…”
She kept talking. Kip stopped listening. He was staring at the pictures all over his Twitter feed, unable to process what he was seeing. There was no mistaking it; it was Scott, looking as handsome as ever in the bright sunlight at the Columbia graduation. He was standing toward the back of the stadium, half-hidden at the top of the ramp to the concourse. Kip had no idea how he’d gotten in—then again, if Scott Hunter had asked, who wouldn’t have given him a ticket?
It wasn’t the fact that Scott had been there that surprised Kip the most, however. No, the reason why his throat burned and heart thudded painfully in his chest was because it was just Scott. No glasses or ballcap obscured his face. He was openly himself, soft smile shining through the playoff beard that was thicker than Kip had ever seen it.
Scott had come to Kip’s graduation, and he hadn’t tried to hide it. Maybe it meant nothing. Maybe there had been someone else in the ceremony that Scott had been there for instead of his ex-boyfriend from over three years ago. But his heart wouldn’t listen to reason, not when it was daring to hope again for the first time since 2014.
“Elena,” Kip said, interrupting his friend’s ramble. “Elena, I… have a lot to think about, okay? I’m gonna…”
Elena hesitated, almost as if waiting for him to say something more. When Kip stared across the room, too many words coursing through his brain for him to even attempt to string them together, she pushed on. “What are you thinking, Kip?”
He heaved a sigh, flopping backwards onto his bed and squinting up at the light above. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions but… it’s really hard not to. I mean, why else would he have been there? Ugh, I know, I know, there are so many other—”
“Kip.” Elena interrupted him again. He almost thought he could hear a smile in her voice. “I don’t know him as well as I want to. Just that gala and what you’ve told me, plus what the entire world knows about him. But just from those pictures? I think he was there for you, babe. That’s exactly how he smiled when he saw you at his game.”
“But what if—”
“Kip. Babe. I know I try not to let your heart get ahead of your brain. But right now I think you need to take that jump. Leap of faith, you know?”
Kip worried his bottom lip between his teeth, gaze unfocused as the memories began to resurface yet again. “I’m gonna call him,” he finally said, voice sounding oddly loud in the quiet of his childhood room. He turned his head, looking at his phone and wishing Elena was here with him. “I need to know… what this means.”
“Call me after,” Elena said. “Doesn’t matter how late it is. I’m not going to be able to sleep until I know.”
He smiled. He was so incredibly lucky to have a friend like her. “You and me both, Elena.”
“I love you, babe. Now go get your man.”
Kip snorted. “He’s not mine. Hasn’t been for a while.”
“Wants to be, though.”
“Bye, Elena.”
“Good luck.”
Kip laid in the silence of his room for several minutes longer, brain desperately trying to process the crazy chain of events that had occurred throughout the day. This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be his life. He must be dreaming. That was it. He would wake up soon and have to get ready for his graduation ceremony and Scott Hunter would never be there and Kip’s life would continue on just as it always had.
Yet he found he didn’t want it to. For the first time in a very long time, Kip considered the possibility of how things could be. He wanted it so badly. Elena gave him grief more often than not about still being hung up on a man that couldn’t give him what he deserved. But Kip couldn’t help it. He’d never loved anyone like he’d loved Scott. He’d never wanted to.
Kip pushed himself up, rolling his shoulders as he made his decision. He would shower off the sweat of the very long day and attempt to get his thoughts in order. And then he was going to pick up the phone and call Scott Hunter.
No. He wasn’t going to call famous hockey player Scott Hunter. He was going to call Scott. His ex-boyfriend. The man he was still in love with. The man he’d always been in love with.
After taking the quickest shower of his life, Kip sat on the edge of his bed once more, hair dripping slightly on his bare shoulders as he stared down at his phone with Scott’s messages pulled up. He couldn’t help but continue to waste time, scrolling back up through their conversations over the years.
It would have been better for them both if they stopped contact entirely, but neither of them had been willing. Despite Scott not being ready to come out, despite Kip not willing to remain hidden away, they couldn’t help but cherish that connection that had flourished between them in such a short amount of time.
Kip blamed himself for being the first to reach out. Then again, he never would have forgiven himself if he hadn’t wished Scott good luck before his last Olympic game. He didn’t regret that call, even if the way Scott had ended it had stayed with Kip for weeks. I’m going to win gold. I couldn’t be brave. Not yet. But I can do this for you. For us. Even if it’s not enough.
And then Scott had texted him a few weeks later to ask about grad school and what schools Kip had heard back from, and that had devolved into Kip staying up way too late before his opening shift because he couldn’t bear to end the conversation. Kip texted him for his birthday in July. Scott messaged him on his first day of grad school, Kip messaging him before his first game of the season.
Elena judged him every time she caught him at it. Kip didn’t care, no matter how bad it was for both of them to keep dragging this along. There were weeks between each of their conversations, but Kip couldn’t help but hope for a text from Scott each time his phone buzzed. He’d tried to move on. He’d tried to let Scott Hunter go. But if walking out of Scott’s apartment hadn’t been enough, it seemed nothing would.
Texting each other was harmless. They didn’t call again after that conversation at the Olympics. Kip tried to keep their contact limited to holidays and birthdays. And when Scott won a hard game. And if Scott texted to wish him luck during midterms or finals, well, Kip couldn’t really be that upset.
It was nice, keeping him in his life. They weren’t friends, not in the true sense. Neither of them would be able to keep their relationship as nothing more than friends and they knew it. And maybe it would hurt Kip worse in the long run to build up this connection with a man he could never have. But he couldn’t lose him all the same.
Kip breathed in deep, trying to quell the anxiety that was threatening to make his heart thunder out of his chest and his stomach twist into knots. He laughed to himself, trying to remember the last time he’d felt this nervous before a phone call. Maybe his grad school interviews. Maybe calling Scott before the Olympics. He was being ridiculous. It was just a call. Just a call with the man he’d been hopelessly in love with but hadn’t seen for more than three years. God, what was his life?
He didn’t let himself stress any longer. Kip hit the call button and pressed his phone to his ear. Only after the line rung once did Kip realize he probably should have waited until morning; he wasn’t sure of the time, but he knew it was later than Scott usually stayed up.
He hadn’t needed to worry. The phone only rang once more before there was a click. A quiet second passed, a second where Kip allowed himself to wonder again if he was reaching, assuming too much. And then…
“Kip. I was wondering if you were gonna call.”
The tension left Kip in a breath. He didn’t know why he had been so stressed. “Scott,” he replied, unable to help a smile. “It’s late for you.”
The other man chuckled, the sound sending Kip back to early mornings and late nights in Scott’s apartment. “I’ve been a little wired all day. Couldn’t sleep.”
“I can’t imagine why.”
Scott laughed again. “Yeah.” Then he was sighing, a shaky nervous thing that didn’t sound like Scott at all. “I didn’t know how much I missed the sound of your voice until right now.”
“Me too,” Kip whispered. At least Kip had heard him throughout the months during interviews or press conferences; for Scott, this was the first time hearing Kip since their call before the Olympics. Then again, his Scott was quite different from Captain Scott Hunter.
Silence stretched between them, both awkward and companionable. Their relationship had always been a series of juxtapositions. It wasn’t quite as off-putting as perhaps it should have been.
“Congratulations,” Scott finally said. “On graduating today. That’s such a major achievement and I know how hard you worked to get in so I can only imagine how hard you’ve worked since then…” He cleared his throat as if to refocus his rambling words. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” Kip floundered for a long moment, warring with the many different thoughts and emotions crashing together within his head. “You didn’t tell me… I mean. You were there. I’ve seen the pictures.”
“I was there,” Scott agreed. If Kip could see him… well, three and a half years weren’t enough to erase the memory of Scott from his heart. It was as easy as breathing to picture the way Scott was probably looking down, worrying his lip between his teeth as he searched for the right words. “Was that too much? Last time we talked you mentioned you were graduating soon and I know we’re not together, I know that it was probably weird and too intense for me to show up without asking but.” He huffed, likely running his hand through his hair. “I really wanted to be there. For you.”
Kip wondered who it was that had told Scott that he was too intense often enough that it still bothered him. “No, no,” he hurried to say. “It meant a lot, actually, when I heard you were there. How’d you even… I mean, it’s a ticketed event. Who gave up one of their tickets to you?”
“I, uh.” Oh, Scott was definitely flustered. Kip grinned. “Well. I’m a celebrity here in the city, didn’t you know? I might’ve pulled a few strings.”
“Just to see your ex graduate?”
“Just to see you graduate,” Scott corrected, voice dropping into something lower. Quieter. More vulnerable.
Kip swallowed, getting up to turn off the light in his room. There was something about this moment that wanted to be wrapped in soft darkness and held close, not allowed to be chased away by the reality of the outside world. Now there was just the moonlight filtering in through the window, gentle and distant.
“I should have asked,” Scott was saying. “Should’ve said something, not waited for you to find out online.”
Kip shook his head. “It’s okay, Scott, really.” After all, there had been several Admirals games that Kip had gone to with his dad that he hadn’t told Scott about. Of course, Scott wouldn’t hear about it hours later because of snapped photos ending up online, but he figured the situation was similar enough. It seemed as if they couldn’t stop showing up to support each other, no matter that the world couldn’t know the truth.
But it wasn’t just his attendance at the ceremony that kept Kip’s heart from feeling like it was too big for his chest. “You were there,” he said, slowly sinking back down onto the edge of his bed. “You. Scott Hunter. I mean, you weren’t hiding. No hat or glasses, just… you.”
Scott was quiet for a long time. There was shuffling on his end, the creak of a boxspring. When he finally spoke, it was words Kip had never thought he would hear. “I came out.”
Kip’s breath caught in his throat. He remained frozen, waiting for Scott to continue as that spark of hope in his chest slowly began to burn again.
“Just to my friends on the team, Carter and Eric and Huff. Coach too. And my agent. They, uh, they all took it great. Coach and my agent were a little less enthusiastic about me wanting to come out fully, I mean, publicly, but that’s more from a practical view rather than anything bad.”
“Really?” Kip blurted the word out before he could stop himself. “You actually want to come out?”
“I’ve always wanted to,” Scott said quietly. “I’ve just always been too fucking scared to think about it seriously. But I’m done hiding. I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not.”
“That’s…” Kip laughed in a breathless way, falling back on his bed and staring at the ceiling again. “Wow. I’m… I’m really proud of you, Scott. Really. I know what this means to you.”
“Thanks.” He was quiet for another long moment. “It’s still fucking terrifying. I’m going public after playoffs. And I know my team will support me, my team and my coach, but God, I can’t help but feel scared shitless.”
“It is scary,” Kip agreed. “Even when you have people who love you, you can never guess how the world will react. And you being who you are…” Kip cleared his throat, back of his eyes suddenly burning. “I never blamed you, you know, for not being ready to come out. I’m sorry if I made you feel—”
“No,” Scott interrupted him. “No, Kip, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I owe you an apology. I was… fuck, I was scared. I was so scared of what letting the outside into our relationship could lead to that I forgot that simple fact that a relationship can’t just exist behind closed doors. I took you for granted, Kip, and I will never stop apologizing for that.”
“I knew what I was getting into. I knew you weren’t out. I just thought… I don’t know. Thought I could handle it.”
“I made you lie to everyone. Your dad, your friends. It wasn’t fair of me.”
“Fear is a powerful thing,” Kip murmured, eyes closing as he wrapped himself in the sound of Scott’s voice.
“Yeah,” Scott agreed. “I really am sorry. That I couldn’t be who you needed me to be. That I couldn’t give you what you deserved. I… fuck, I loved you.”
Kip squeezed his eyes even tighter, swallowing hard against the lump rising in his throat. “I loved you too,” he whispered, desperately making sure his words remained in the past tense. It didn’t matter how he felt now. Didn’t matter if his heart had belonged to this man for the last three and a half years. Their time had passed.
But if it really had passed, why were they sitting here talking to each other like this? Why had Scott come to his graduation? Why had Kip been following the Admirals’ progress through the playoffs with baited breath? Why was Scott telling Kip about his plans to come out? Why was Kip wishing he could stand at Scott’s side as he told the world?
“Are you going to Europe this summer? After the season.” Kip blanched as he realized what he was asking. The words were already out, though. No taking them back. “I mean, uh—”
“I’m not,” Scott said with far more seriosity than Kip expected. “Haven’t been since… well, since the Olympics, technically.” Not since you. It went unsaid, but Kip thought it was loud in the space between them. “I would’ve loved to take you. All that art and history you could tell me about.”
“What, like your own personal tour guide?”
“I’d pay you for your services, of course. Something fitting your esteemed degree.”
Kip found himself laughing, “And here I was thinking I was just a pretty face.”
“You’ve always been so much more.”
And there Scott went again, bringing the tone back down to something… more. Kip knew he wasn’t reading into it. He knew Scott Hunter better than anyone else, even years after they’d last been together. Scott had never been shy about communicating what he wanted, not to Kip at least. Hell, he’d practically asked Kip to move in with him the morning after their first night together. They’d said ‘I love you’ less than two months in. Scott wore his heart on his sleeve; it was what had made the hiding so unbearably painful, because he had been so desperately trying to be someone he wasn’t.
Scott was testing the waters, not wanting to assume that Kip could still be waiting for him while still attempting to convey where he himself stood. It wasn’t like Scott to dance around the topic. Then again, hadn’t Kip done the same in asking about Europe?
Kip knew that the smart thing to do would be to thank Scott for coming to his graduation, wish him luck with the playoffs, and end the conversation now. Maybe even block his number like he should have done years ago. Scott Hunter had broken his heart once. Broken his heart and kept the pieces when he had refused to go out together and Kip had walked out of his apartment.
He’d never been smart, not when it came to Scott. He wanted to follow his heart, tattered edges and all. He wanted to dream, to hope, to believe that this was possible. Maybe it would end in flames again, but maybe it wouldn’t. Scott had come out to his friends. He had a plan to come out publicly. He had come to Kip’s graduation without a care of being seen. And he was talking to Kip, quietly extending his hand across the space between them.
Scott still hadn’t said anything. He’d revealed a lot in his last statement, opened a door they had both long thought closed. It was up to Kip now. Could he do it? Was he strong enough to risk everything again for this man?
He was getting ahead of himself. Like always. It wasn’t forever. It wasn’t a world-changing decision. It was Scott. And Kip had spent too many years missing him to let this opportunity pass them by.
“Do you… I mean.” Kip cleared his throat, pressing his phone closer to his ear. He looked out the window, eyes catching on the moon rising up between the buildings stretching across the horizon. Was Scott looking at the same moon from his apartment? Manhattan and Brooklyn had never felt so far apart. “I’ve been following your games,” he finally said lamely. “You have a real chance at the Cup this year.”
“You’ve been watching?” Scott sounded genuinely pleased by Kip’s admission. “So that’s why I’ve been playing better.”
“I thought you relied on smoothies for that,” Kip teased.
He was surprised when Scott paused for a long moment. He was even more surprised when Scott sheepishly said, “I still wear your socks. Every game.”
A wave of tenderness washed over Kip, so strong it nearly took his breath away. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Scott repeated, still flustered. Kip could imagine the flush high on his cheeks. “Carter gives me shit for how worn-out they are. I learned how to darn just to fix the holes in the heel, actually. Carter gave me worse shit for that.”
The image of hockey player Scott Hunter curled up on his couch and darning a pair of blue banana socks was nearly enough to make Kip giggle. Instead it just warmed his heart, heat spreading to the tips of his fingers and his toes. “I think Carter would like Maria and Shawn. You should’ve heard them after you first came into the shop. Never thought I’d hear the end of it.”
Scott snorted, his mattress creaking as he shifted position. Kip curled onto his side, still looking out at the moon. “I, uh. I mentioned you to the boys after I came out to them. Carter’s obsessed with your name. Thinks it’s very cute.”
Kip felt himself flushing. He wouldn’t think too much about why Scott might have talked about him to his friends in that emotional moment. Even if it made his stomach twist around in knots. “My friends all say it’s dumb, so I appreciate it.”
“I’ll let him know.”
Kip bit his lip, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling once again. He took a deep breath, refusing to let fear win. “Maybe… Maybe I could tell him myself.”
Scott was quiet, perhaps trying to figure out exactly what Kip meant by that vague ass sentence. Kip plowed on before he could chicken out. “I don’t want to assume, and maybe it’s rude of me to even ask, but I would really like to be at one of your playoff games if you still have a ticket.”
“Who else would I ask?” Scott said, a little sad and a little hopeful all at once. “You’re the only one who’s ever used my tickets. Of course you can have them for the playoffs. It’ll be a big night for New York. I remember you said your dad’s a fan.”
Kip made a sound, sitting up so he could lean his elbows on his knees. “No. No, I don’t want to be there for that. I want to be there for you. Everyone else will be cheering for Scott Hunter, captain of the New York Admirals. I want to be cheering on Scott from Rochester.”
Silence stretched between them yet again, thick and heavy with so many things still unsaid. “Kip,” Scott finally whispered, voice on the edge of breaking. “I…”
“You came to my graduation,” Kip said, pushing for a teasing tone but knowing it came off far too fond. “The least I can do is show up for your day too. I know… I know how important it is to have people who love you at such an important moment.”
Neither of them brought attention to what Kip’s words so clearly implied. They didn’t need to say it out loud, not yet. Scott cleared his throat. “How many, um, how many tickets did you want? Obviously, I don’t know how many games it’ll be, but I can get you tickets for all of the home games if you want? I’d offer to fly you out to L.A. but…”
Kip laughed, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah, that’s more than enough, Scott, truly. Um, three tickets would be perfect if you can manage it, but I know you only get two personal tickets so I could pay you ba—”
“Don’t you dare,” Scott interrupted with a laugh. “It’s my treat. Having you there… it would mean everything to me.”
“Thank you, Scott,” Kip murmured with an overly fond smile. He was sure Scott could hear it in his voice.
“Just three?”
“Just three.”
“That would be you, your dad, and…?”
“Elena.” Kip bit his bottom lip, trying to keep his face from splitting into a smile. Scott was so unsubtle it was funny. “Me, Dad, and Elena. If that’s all right with you.”
“That’s more than all right.” Scott snorted. “I’m sure Elena will have a thing or two to say to me.”
Kip laughed, finally letting his smile spread. “Oh, certainly more than that.”
“I deserve everything and more she has to say.”
“I wouldn’t quite go that far,” Kip said softly. “I think… I think it was a case of right person, wrong time.”
“Right person, huh?” With how close Kip’s phone was pressed against his ear, it was almost like Scott was right there next to him, whispering across a few inches rather than many miles.
“Right person,” Kip agreed, wishing more than anything that he could see Scott at this very moment. What he wouldn’t give just to touch his face, to feel Scott kiss his palm, Scott’s large hands cradling Kip’s waist and tugging him closer. He swallowed, pushing those thoughts away for another time.
“Has there…” Scott cleared his throat. “Has there been anyone else?”
Kip’s fond smile was back in full force. This man. He hadn’t changed a bit. “No.”
“No one’s been into you? I find that very hard to believe.”
Kip rolled his eyes. “There’s been plenty. But I’ve been stupidly hung up on the same dumb guy for the last three years, so nothing’s ever come of any of that.”
Scott laughed, the sound of it so full of relief that Kip had to laugh along with him. He fell backward on his bed again, feeling like a giddy kid. He couldn’t stop grinning, not when Scott Hunter was laughing on the line and the jagged edges of Kip’s heart were slowly beginning to smooth over.
Once he’d finally settled, Scott sighed contentedly into the phone. “I need to focus on the playoffs,” he said almost apologetically. “We have a chance at the Cup for the first time in 28 years and my team, this state, they’re counting on me.”
“They’re your family,” Kip said, recalling Scott’s speech at the Equinox Gala years ago. “They matter more than anything.”
“Not more than anything,” Scott said, not a hint of doubt or fear in his voice. “If I’ve realized anything over the last three years, it’s that hockey isn’t everything. I’m just sorry it’s taken me so long to figure that out.”
The warmth that had seeped through Kip’s body from a day spent surrounded by everyone he loved grew into something even fiercer, kindled by the heat only Scott had ever been able to ignite. God, he missed this man. He had missed him more than he had ever realized.
“Well,” Kip said past the lump in his throat, “better late than never.”
Scott laughed again. Kip had never heard him sound so unburdened before. “You’re right. As always. But maybe… after the playoffs are over, maybe we can get together? Grab a coffee or try out that Mexican place I wanted to take you to. Or… maybe the Kingfisher? There’s a lot that I think we have to talk about.”
Kip snorted. That was certainly an understatement. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be. That sounds perfect.”
“Celebrate our victories together.”
“It’s a date,” Kip said, unable to contain the bubbling joy trickling up his throat. He had a date, a real date, with Scott Hunter. In public! He forced himself to be serious just a little longer. “And Scott? No matter what happens, between us, I mean, I want you to know that I’m here for you, okay? Coming out is fucking scary for anyone, but on the scope you’re talking about… god, you’re braver than anyone gives you credit for. Way braver than I could ever be.”
“You’ve been living exactly as how you’ve wanted to for years,” Scott pointed out. “You’ve been unapologetically yourself. That’s fucking brave too, Kip.”
“Well,” Kip said after a moment. “We’ll have to get another drink for being brave.”
Scott snorted, as fond as Kip had ever heard him. “It’s a date,” he murmured.
Kip grinned at his ceiling in his dark room, wondering if Scott looked just as ridiculous as he did right now. He chewed on his lip. Oh, Elena wasn’t going to believe any of this. He glanced at his watch, blanching at the time. “Shit, Scott, don’t you have practice in the morning? You should’ve been asleep hours ago.”
“This was more important. I was hoping you’d call.”
“You have playoffs to win,” Kip said sternly, still grinning. “No more slacking, Hunter. It would be embarrassing if I came to your game just for you to lose.”
“We can’t have that.” Scott sighed, grunting softly as he shifted on his side of the phone. “I’m going to get us to the playoffs. And then I’m going to win the Stanley Cup. For you. For us.”
It was so reminiscent of his words before the Olympic gold medal game that Kip had to take a deep breath, reminding himself of how much had changed since those horrible, lonely months in 2014. “Win for you,” Kip said instead. “For a young, gay Scott from Rochester who never thought he could be himself and still be happy.”
“It’s not going to be easy.” Scott was moving around his apartment, perhaps getting ready for bed. “But I’m ready. I’ll face whatever backlash comes so long as I can stop hiding. And… I dunno. Maybe it will make a difference for other queer guys in the league.”
“It will. I know it will.” Kip stood himself, walking over to press his forehead against the cool glass of his window. And I’ll be there at your side.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks, Scott,” Kip said softly. “Win the Cup. Come out like you want to. And then we’ll talk, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Scott agreed. “Yeah. Thank you, Kip. For everything. And for being so much better than I’ve ever deserved.”
You deserve the world, Kip wanted to say. But that was too much, especially when they still hadn’t fully figured out where they stood. Kip wasn’t with Scott. Not yet. Maybe not ever again. But he would still support him in whatever way he could, this man who had become such a crucial part of Kip’s being.
“Thank you for coming today,” Kip said, knowing he would stay up for another hour at least scrolling the Internet to find every angle of Scott at the Columbia graduation that he could. “It really means a lot, Scott. I… I can’t wait to watch you win.”
“Anything for you,” was all Scott said. “Goodnight, Kip.”
“Goodnight, Scott.” Kip bit back the words that longed to slip free, held himself back from spilling his heart out before they could truly talk and make sure they were on the same page. Instead, he forced himself to end the call, already missing the sound of Scott’s voice in the seconds after as he tossed his phone back on his bed.
Kip slumped against the window, staring up at the moon. He thought of the way the sun had lit up Scott’s face at the graduation, bright and beautiful without a need to hide. He didn’t know what would happen after Scott came out, didn’t know how it would affect his career or his relationships with his team. Didn’t even know if he would still want to try and give things with Kip another try once his options were open to all of the queer men in New York that would surely want to date Scott Hunter. But he couldn’t bother himself with worries like that, not now.
The final playoff games were a month away. Kip could survive a month, especially when he had a future date with Scott to look forward to. Until then, he had to convince Elena that this was a good idea. Also apply to jobs. That was probably something important to focus on.
Kip sighed, running his hand through his hair before returning to flop across his bed. He reached for his phone, preparing to call Elena and relate everything that had just happened to flip his life upside down.
He’d thought today had been the happiest day of his life when he returned home with his dad. After that slightly confusing and emotional call with Scott, after the whirlwind of thoughts and fantasies that had flashed through his mind since Elena had first told him Scott had been at his graduation, Kip knew for certain that he really had never been happier.
Maybe things weren’t perfect. Even once Scott came out, there was no guarantee that he would feel comfortable to publicly date another man. A lifetime of hiding, of secrets and shame and fear, was hard to overcome, no matter how much Scott wanted it. And the last three and a half years wouldn’t be easy to forget for either of them.
It didn’t matter. Kip would take whatever he could get. And he could just hope that maybe things would turn out this time.