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Sigh.
This is the third dramatic sigh Mike has let out in the last five minutes. Fifteenth in the last half-hour. Will tosses his in-progress sketch aside and sits up to face Mike, who’s been lying on the ground staring at the ceiling, sighing dramatically for an hour
“Okay, fine, I’ll bite. What’s wrong?” Will asks entirely deadpan if you don’t see the hint of a smile in the corners of his mouth
“Hmm? Nothing,” Mike says airily without an ounce of sincerity. Will knows this tone. It means Mike is going to be the most annoying pain in the ass for the next God knows how long until Will says the right combination of things and he spills. He wonders what the topic of today’s guessing game would be
“Right, you always lie on the floor and wistfully groan when there’s nothing bothering you,” Will teases. Two can play at the annoying pain in the ass game, and when he wants to be, Will is worlds better at it than Mike. Mike’s head rolls dramatically away from the ceiling in Will’s direction with a look. Will knows this look. He knows Mike is taking his smartassery as a challenge. This is going to be fun. Will flings his legs off the side of the bed, jabbing one foot into Mike’s side
“Hey, stop,” Mike frowns, “that’s not fair, you’re playing dirty.”
“Am I?” Will kicks him lightly again, “What, pray tell, am I playing dirty at?”
Mike has always been the more dramatic of the two of them, but that’s just how he is. It’s in his blood. Will, on the other hand, lets that side of him show less frequently, usually opting to feed into Mike’s theatrics instead. That isn’t to say that side of him doesn’t exist. It most certainly does, and when he chooses to tap into it, Mike doesn’t stand a chance. Mike seems to have acknowledged this, as his lips press together into a thin line. He looks as if he’s considering just telling Will what this is all about instead of dragging it out for an extra thirty minutes of playful bickering first.
Then, Mike sits up. His lips still pressed slightly into a frown. He is just going to tell Will what he’s thinking about without making him work for it. This scares Will a little. Mike never just says what he’s thinking. They’re face-to-face now, or at least as close to it as they can be from the floor and the edge of Mike’s bed.
“How did you know you liked guys?” Mike asks with a shaky sort of confidence that throws Will for a loop
Will came out to Mike three days ago. Mike was surprisingly normal about it. It’s not like Will expected him to be super homophobic or anything, but he expected him to at least be a little weird. But then Mike hugged him and asked if he wanted to stay over that night, and nothing really changed
Still, the topic isn’t Will’s favorite to talk about. He will because he’d do anything for Mike, but he takes a second to calm his mind.
“Sorry, you don’t have to- that’s like really personal- I-” Mike starts to apologize, but Will cuts him off
“No, it’s fine, I’ve just-” now Will is the one letting out a dramatic sigh, “I’ve never really talked about this before.” Mike’s eyes grow wide with understanding, and he nods as if Will trusting him as the first person to open up to about this is the single greatest honor he could achieve in this life
“I guess it was around the end of middle school when I realized,” Will starts, looking anywhere but Mike, “You guys all started getting girlfriends and I just- didn’t want to. I thought I should, but I didn’t. I sat around and listened to you guys talk about girls all the time, like how pretty they are and all that, and I realized what you guys were talking about was how I felt about guys at school and on TV.”
“Guys at school?” Mike questions, “Will- did you like someone we went to school with? Shit, do you like someone we go to school with?” Mike sounds a little bit frantic, as if he hadn’t considered that Will could be a practicing queer. It’s weird for Will to think about talking boys with Mike. Will, who’s always been on the outskirts of the romance talks, who has always played the role of listener, who is madly and deeply in love with Mike. Mike, who is asking Will to talk about who he likes. Will thinks he might actually die. Since that’s not an option, he does the next best thing and lies.
“I mean, yeah, who gets through high school without a couple of hallway crushes?” He is desperately hoping this comes across as nonchalant as he hopes. He thinks it does when Mike is nodding his head as if to say touche. He lets out a breath, believing he’s in the clear. He is not in the clear, because when Mike speaks again, he’s asking who. Will shoots him a glare. He does not want to go there.
“Will, come on, you have to tell me, I’ve missed out on like six years of teasing you about your love life, you have to let me have this.” Will rolls his eyes, but Mike is right. Will does have to let him have this. Not because Mike is entitled to know these things, but because Will has never in his life been able to tell Mike Wheeler no
Will sighs, rolling his eyes and tucking his legs up under himself
“Fine, I’ll tell you, but you’re not allowed to judge, and on your life, you tell no one
Mike’s eyes are serious as he nods, extending a pinky to Will. Will accepts, linking their pinkies together, shuddering at the contact
“I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Will grumbles, but with Mike sitting cross-legged on the floor staring up at him like this was the single most exciting moment of his life, Will can’t bring himself to care that much. So he begins sharing some of his deepest darkest secrets (childhood crushes) with the only boy he’s ever really liked.
***
“And then last year, there was David Arnold, do you remember him? He was in our third-grade class. Super tall now, long hair, sharp jaw. Absolutely gorgeous man. I sat next to him in geometry. He’s kinda dumb, but in a sweet, kinda cute way.” Will didn’t expect sharing all this with someone to feel so good. He’s realizing now how much he missed out when he was younger and his friends were having these conversations where Will wanted to die just a little. He gets it now. It’s fun talking about this stuff, even if it is the most terrifying thing he’s ever done. (And he’s survived a week in the Upside Down).
“No- David Arnold? Will, you’re better than that,” Mike bumps his knee against Will’s. Will isn’t entirely sure when he ended up joining Mike on the floor, but he doesn’t mind. What he does mind is Mike judging his taste in men. Men who, admittedly, are basically just variations of Mike. Tall, sweet, sharp features, gorgeous, dumb as a sack of rocks.
“What’s wrong with David? He’s nice.”
“Maybe, but that’s all he is. We were lab partners in chemistry, and I’ve never talked to anyone with less personality in my life. I couldn’t talk to him about anything, and you know I can always find something to talk about,” Mike argues, and Will has to admit he’s kind of right. Both about his inability to shut up and about David’s lack of interesting qualities
It’s frustrating how perfect Mike is. How he’s sitting here telling Will he deserves better than some guy he has virtually no interest in. He’s so close, yet so far from everything Will has ever wanted. He knows he’s being selfish. It isn’t fair to want more from Mike. But then Mike does things like list off things Will deserves in a man, and he can’t help but feel weak
“You deserve someone with a personality, y'know. You have so much, it wouldn’t be right for you to be with someone who doesn’t. And someone who is kind and good to you, and who will love and cherish everything about you,” Will thinks Mike lists more things, but his face is so hot, and his ears are ringing so loud he wouldn’t know. It isn’t fair. Mike doesn’t even know he’s all of those things, he’s exactly what he says Will deserves, and he’s exactly what Will wants
“Mike- I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I’ll be lucky if I ever get anything. People like me, we don’t get to be picky. Not if we want to have someone,” Will’s voice shakes a little. He knows this is true, he’s thought about it a lot. He’s thought about it every time he wishes he could just find someone else who is exactly like Mike in every way except the one that makes things difficult. Will’s never even met another gay person in real life. The pickings are slim, especially in Hawkins, Indiana. Maybe somewhere else he could find another tall, dark-haired nerd to fall in love with. Probably not, though. Will resigned himself to drowning in the love he has for Mike forever when he was a much younger, less lovesick boy
“That’s such bullshit. Just because you like guys doesn’t mean you should have to settle for one that sucks ass and doesn’t see how incredible you are. I mean it, you’re the best person I know, you’re so talented and kind, and honestly, Will, you’re like, really attractive.”
Will chokes on the air in his lungs. Will can handle a lot. He can handle talking boys with Mike. He can handle Mike critiquing his taste in guys. He can handle Mike telling him what he deserves in a partner (mostly). What he can’t handle, though, is hearing Mike say everything he’s ever wanted to hear. He can’t handle the idea that Mike thinks he’s attractive. He really is drowning in his feelings right now.
“Mike- stop.” It comes out a little harsher than Will intended, but he’s barely in control of himself right now.
“Huh? What did I do?” Mike can be such a dumbass, it hurts. Will has never understood how someone as intelligent as Mike could be so goddamn stupid.
“Mike.” This time, it comes out desperate, like a plea.
“Will, I really don’t understand.”
“You can’t just- say things like that,” Will is trying to be patient, he really is, “it’s not fair.”
“Not fair? Will I was just saying that you deserve to be loved, you can’t really think that’s not fair- do you?” He’s concerned. Mike, as much as he’s the dumbest person alive, is also the kindest. He thinks Will is being like this because he doesn’t think he deserves to be loved, and maybe that’s part of it, but it certainly isn’t all.
“I- it’s not that.”
“Okay, so what is it?”
A long, tense silence falls over the room as Will squeezes his eyes shut. Mike notices, putting his hand on Will’s shoulder for comfort. Will almost shrugs it off, but he’s selfish and enjoys the touch. Mike gives his shoulder an encouraging squeeze, clearly just as uncomfortable with this silence as Will is.
“I can’t tell you.” Will’s voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. He wouldn’t even be sure whether Mike heard it if not for the way Mike’s hand slides down Will’s arm from his shoulder to his hand.
“We’ve been talking about things you ‘couldn’t tell me’ for the past hour. Whatever this is, it won’t change anything. You know that, right? Nothing you could tell me would ever change anything.” Will hasn’t heard Mike talk this gently to him since they were kids. He’s using the voice. The one their friends made fun of him for and dubbed the Will voice. It’s dangerous, but the way Mike is talking makes him believe what he says.
Will believes him. He takes a deep breath and stares so intently at the ground that he thinks he might open a gate to the Upside Down if he's not careful. “It’s because- I’ve never cared about David or any of those other guys. They’re cute or whatever, but I never really liked them,” Will chances a glance towards Mike, who looks the most confused he’s ever been, “because it’s always been you. Ever since we were kids.”
Mike just stares, mouth wide, with his hand still in Will’s. Will tries to pull away. He’s clearly made it weird, except Mike’s grip on his hand tightens when he goes to move.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- to love you, I just- I do, and I’m sorry.” Tears slide down his face as Will rambles on. This snaps Mike back to reality.
“I- You love me?” Mike says it like it’s the most incredible thing in the world. Will just nods clumsily, shaking more tears loose from his eyes.
He hadn’t planned to bear his entire heart and soul and cry in front of Mike today. Will started this conversation expecting some light-hearted banter and maybe a pillow fight. But now, Mike is pulling him into a hug, and he’s struggling to breathe. Will hugs back despite himself. He shouldn’t let himself have this. Shouldn’t let Mike console him, but as he wraps his arms around Mike, he can feel that he’s crying too. Mike never cries, not in front of people, and definitely not in their arms. Now Will feels selfish for not wanting to hug Mike. It doesn’t really matter what Will thinks about the whole thing, though, because either way, he and Mike are crying into each other’s arms. Nothing else could possibly matter as much as that.
Mike is the first to pull away. He pulls back and just stares at Will. It would be terrifying if it were anyone but Mike staring through him directly into his soul. There is nothing Will could hide from him now if he tried.
“How long?” Mike’s voice is wet and the most attractive thing Will has ever heard.
“Middle school. Probably forever, actually, but that’s when I knew. I’m sorry.”
“Quit, don’t be sorry, never be sorry for that,” Mike’s face twists with contemplation, “can I kiss you?”
Will’s heart sinks. Everything he’s ever wanted is so close he could reach out and touch it. Touch him. This isn’t real, though. Mike would never want him like that. He isn’t even like that.
“Mike, stop.” Mike doesn’t stop. He brings his other hand to Will’s and looks him in the eye.
“If you really want me to, I will, but hear me when I say, I love you too. I do, I really do, and I also really want to kiss you.”
Will doesn’t believe it. How could he? He’s spent years dreaming of this exact moment. It can’t be true.
“You’re just saying that.”
“I’m not, please Will. How can I prove to you I’m not?” For the first time in what feels like his life, Will looks into Mike’s eyes. He can always tell when he’s lying, and right now, that telltale glint is completely absent from his eye. He’s telling the truth. Will believes him.
“Okay,” Will swallows hard. Okay what? He isn’t even sure, but Mike is closing the space between them and he has a pretty good guess. Will’s eyes flutter shut as he leans in slightly, too.
Will has never kissed a boy. He assumes Mike hasn’t either, but Mike has at least kissed girls. Will has never kissed anyone. He briefly hopes he isn’t bad at it, but their lips slot together and all those worries are ripped from his mind. Mike’s lips are warm and chapped, exactly as Will imagined they would be. Mike has always had a bad habit of picking at the skin on his lips and making them even more chapped than they would be if he’d just leave them alone. Will weirdly enjoys the rough feeling of Mike’s lips against his.
The kiss doesn’t last long, maybe a few seconds, but neither does the break they take to make sure they were reading each other’s cues right.
They so were.
This time, it’s Will who leans in, pressing his lips into Mike’s. This is so much better than he’s ever imagined, and boy, has he imagined. Their lips move together like that’s what they were made for. Will’s hands find their way into Mike’s hair, and Mike gasps softly into his mouth. It’s everything Will has ever wanted.
When they pull away, they stay close, foreheads resting against each other.
“Wow,” Mike whispers, and Will can’t help but laugh. Wow indeed. No other words are exchanged for a long while. None need to be. Everything they’ve never been able to say is understood through the air they're sharing and the way their fingers trace the curves of each other's faces.
“Hey Mike?” Will pulls away first, breaking the silence.
“Hm?”
“How’d you know you liked guys?”
“Oh my god, shut up,” Mike groans, tackling Will and pressing wet kisses to every inch of his face.
Mike likes guys. Mike likes Will. Mike loves Will. One hour ago, Will would've laughed at any one of those statements and said there was absolutely no way any of that could be true, but now, he's wiping wet kisses off his eyebrow, and he believes it all.