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They’ll arrive at the lab in ten minutes.
Steve could cut the tension with a knife. Hell, with his spear. The air feels dense and heavy.
Maybe he’s noticing it so much because it’s his plan this time. If it fails, he’ll be right at the top of the blame list.
“Hey guys?”
He turns to look at Dustin. The kid has made his way over to Mike, Will, and Lucas.
“Yeah?” Mike asks, looking up at him.
Dustin squats down in front of his friends and sighs.
“I know this is like… so not the time,” Dustin whispers, but really he may as well be shouting for how quiet it is in the truck, “But we’re about to do some crazy life-or-death shit so if not now then when, right?”
Steve knows he probably shouldn’t be listening, but really there’s no avoiding it. Hell, he won’t pretend like he doesn’t want to eavesdrop anyway. He’s only human. Still, he at least looks away.
“I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting.”
Steve raises his brows. It honest to God surprises him. Dustin apologizing to him was one thing, but to them? Damn.
“I’ve been a dick for a long time, and it wasn’t fair to any of you. And I lied about falling off my bike. It was Andy, he found me at Eddie’s grave and… well, you can piece together the rest. Doesn’t matter.” His voice is so sincere, so remorseful, “Point is, it was my fault I missed the crawl. There’s no excuse for any of it, but I promise I’m gonna be better. I’m really, really sorry.”
It’s silent again, for several beats. Steve’s heart starts to race. He feels second-hand nerves for the kid, who’s being so freaking vulnerable in such a high tension moment. Steve is blown away. He looks up and immediately catches eyes with Robin. It’s instantly clear by the look on her face that she’s listening too.
“We forgive you.” Mike says with that never-fading optimistic tone.
Steve takes a deep breath.
“You do?” Dustin sounds completely surprised.
“Are you kidding?” Will speaks now, “Of course we do. We’ve just been worried about you, man.”
Robin tilts her head and suddenly there’s a small, sad smile on her face.
“Totally.” Lucas adds. There’s a beat and then he speaks again, voice cracking, “Watching what happened to Max… I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And she survived. You had to hold Eddie as he…”
Steve feels another pair of eyes on him and turns to find Nancy. Their gazes meet and he immediately knows they’re both back in that place. Both back in the Upside Down eighteen months ago, finding an inconsolable Dustin Henderson covered in blood holding Eddie’s dead body. His heart seizes and he has to look down and away.
“Yeah.” Dustin mercifully cuts off Lucas before he can finish the sentence. His voice is soft and weak, distant.
“We could never blame you for taking time to grieve.” Will affirms.
“Never.” Mike reinforces, “We just want you to be okay.”
Steve feels the tears building. He keeps his head down.
“I missed you guys.” Dustin’s voice breaks and then there’s the sound of shuffling. They’re hugging, Steve can tell they're hugging.
He feels a pressure against his hand and looks up to see Robin reaching for him. She grabs onto his hand and he lets her, squeezes it back.
He is filled with an overwhelming sense of pride for Dustin. He knows how hard it is to apologize. To state that you were wrong. To face your faults. Admit you lied.
Now more than ever, he is determined to be there for the kid. Determined to live through this so that they can get back to the way things were.
Screw ‘You die, I die.’
Steve’s not letting anyone die tonight. And for once, that includes himself. Because if Dustin’s grown up enough to admit he’s wrong and apologize to his friends, then Steve’s grown up enough to accept that he matters to these people. He’s not going to be selfish, not this time.
They live, he lives.