Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Vi had spent half of her night tossing and turning, so when sleep had finally come to her, she was justifiably irritated when she was woken up by her phone incessantly buzzing on her nightstand.

Her eyelids felt weighed down by bricks as she peeled them open and picked up her phone, she’s temporarily blinded by the light of her screen and winces. All annoyance vanishes at the sight of the caller ID.

“Cait?” She rasps, sitting up in bed, bracing her elbows on her knees.

“Vi! I’ll keep it simple. I want to go to Oregon, and I want you to come with me. Like, right now.” Caitlyn sounds off, voice shaky, seemingly from a lack of sleep.

Vi had talked Caitlyn down from many a nervous breakdown at all hours of the night, like that one time she called her howling about an “unjustified” B+ her college professor gave her for a thesis she poured her blood, sweat, and tears into. Or when her mother had set her up on the third blind date in a week, and she had threatened to pour wine on the last one for enquiring about Caitlyn’s finances and social status the entire night. She has to say this takes the cake.

“Oregon? Caitlyn, it’s three in the morning. Can you slow down a sec?” She says, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Caitlyn’s breath hitches on the line, and Vi feels her heart rate pick up. Her gut is shouting that something isn’t right. “I’ll tell you more when we leave, I promise. Just come with me? I don’t want to do this without you.”

“Cupcake, I love you and all but I have work in-“ Vi checks the time on her phone, “-Circa four hours, and I can’t leave Powder alone, you know how she gets-“

“-Violet, I’m terminal.”

It doesn’t take long for Vi to pack a bag and hop in her car after that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They’ve been cramped inside of Vi’s trusty (a term used very loosely) 2007 Subaru Impreza for 30 minutes. Her body has been wired up, bracing for impact, hoping Caitlyn will finally explain what’s going on. The words “Violet, I’m terminal,” a sadistic echo in her mind.

She watches Caitlyn fidget with her fingers, eyes refusing to meet hers, hair blowing in the wind of the open window.

They had always joked about how far back Caitlyn had to push her seat to fit her long legs in the compact car. She wishes she could bring it up to lighten the mood, but the sight of Caitlyn’s leg bouncing in her seat makes her heart clench.

“So…Oregon? The hipsters back home weren’t enough for you?” She chuckles, trying to ease the tension. The joke doesn’t land, and Caitlyn still can’t bring herself to look her way. She cringes and tightens her hands on the steering wheel.

A tense moment later, Caitlyn states “Younger onset dementia…Alzheimer's.”

Vi doesn’t process it at first and waits for her to continue, but she doesn’t.

“Dementia? As in that disease really old people develop?”

Caitlyn lays her head on the dashboard and turns to look at her, “Apparently, I classify as old now.”

She can’t believe what she’s hearing. It’s as if she’s left her body and she’s watching two strangers' entire lives unravel in one conversation. Except they weren’t strangers. They were Caitlyn and Vi, It’s always been them against the world—best friends since 2nd grade.

“You’re barely 29, how could you possibly have dementia?” Vi juggles between keeping her eyes on both Caitlyn and the road. Luckily, there’s almost no one else around this time of night.

“I wish I knew. Sometimes young people develop it, but rarely so. It’s some sick cosmic joke, I suppose.” Caitlyn sighs, lifts herself up and continues.

“It started small, I was struggling to concentrate and I was overly anxious, I figured I was stressed or overworking myself and I continued on and then it progressed. I was forgetting things more often, like how I preferred my eggs in the morning, or my phone number and how to tie my shoelaces. Eventually, I assumed something wasn’t right when-“

She cuts herself off and takes a breath.

“It doesn’t matter, I spoke to a specialist, did some cognitive tests and an MRI and it’s been confirmed. It’s currently mild but progressing quickly, I can expect to slowly lose my memory and there will be behavioural changes. Eventually, my motor function will be impaired and I’ll have difficulty walking, talking, and swallowing. I can definitely kiss shooting goodbye.”

She’s trembling now. Vi takes her hand and firmly squeezes, wishing she were dreaming. 

“I’m going to lose you and lose myself, Vi, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

Vi trembles with her, “You won’t. We won’t let that happen.”

Caitlyn presses their entwined hands against her cheek and melts, “I’ve always admired the hope you carry in even the most dire circumstances, it’s bordered on delusion sometimes.”

“Quit talking like you’re already dead!” Her voice wavers with the force of her holding back tears.

Her eyes soften, and she presses a barely there kiss on Vi’s hand, “I’m sorry, Vi, truly.”

Vi asks with a sigh, “How long have you known?”

Caitlyn hesitates, “A week…”

“A week!? One whole week? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Her voice drowning out the Death Cab for Cutie CD playing on in the car’s speakers.

“I didn’t even know how to begin! How would you tell your best friend that you aren’t going to be yourself for much longer? That you’ll be a regressed version of someone they once knew? That they’ll need assistance for even the most minor of tasks!”

Vi becomes silent, free hand gripping the wheel even tighter, turning her knuckles white. She knew she’d be just as lost if she were in her shoes.

“I’m sorry too.” She has to change the subject or risk her pounding heart giving out in the middle of the intersection.

“Why Oregon?”

“Just shy of Portland, there’s a town called Gun-“

“-fitting.” Vi snorts.

“Let me finish, darling,” Vi mimes zipping her lips, “It’s where Mother took Grayson before she passed. She never discussed what they talked about or did on that trip but it seemed to be what she needed. I wanted to see it for myself…with you.”

The implication of one of them also passing sends chills down Vi’s spine, softened by the admission that Caitlyn specifically wanted them to go to Gun together. 

“There’s a beach there, with a cobalt blue ocean and clouds that perpetually signal a storm that never comes. Mother swears she still finds sand scattered on her skin after all this time.”

“Do your parents know about any of this?” Vi asks.

“I’ve mailed them a letter explaining everything,” Caitlyn responds, releasing their joined hands and wringing her own together.

“Couldn’t shoot them a text like a normal person, Cupcake?”

Caitlyn laughs, for the first time since their journey started. “I’ve always been a misfit, darling.”

Vi laughs along with her in agreement, the weight of the world seeming a little lighter on their shoulders.

“Goodbye, Seattle. See you soon, Oregon,” Vi takes a deep breath,“Buckle in, only three hours to go.”

Caitlyn draws a heart with her finger on the dusty dashboard and then removes Vi’s Death Cab for Cutie CD from the car's janky CD player, replacing it with the Mazzy Star one Vi keeps in the centre console just for her. 

She leans back in her seat and closes her eyes, feeling the wind on her face as fade into you begins to play.

Chapter Text

Vi is seven when she first meets Caitlyn.

It’s hard not to notice her, sitting stiffly at her desk with limbs too long for her young frame. She looks up and catches Vi staring, and Vi looks away at the speed of lightning.

Her hands are clammy as their classroom teacher introduces her. Everyone already knows her as the poor transfer student. She can hear the children snicker about her second-hand shoes, and she can see the way they look at her like she’s beneath them. It leaves a bad taste in her mouth and makes her feel homesick.

Shes young, but not stupid. She knows that rich kids will always believe they’re better than her just because their parents' bank accounts have a couple more zeros than hers did. Emphasis on did, but they didn’t have money when they were alive either.

Her gaze drifts back to the blue-haired girl she first noticed, and watches her gaze out the window rather than gawk at the lower-class transfer student. She wonders what she’s looking at.

“Violet, you can sit next to Caitlyn for the time being,” the teacher instructs.

Caitlyn’s head snaps up at the mention of her, looks at the empty desk to her left and waves nervously.

Vi stifles a sigh and takes her seat, ignoring her peers' ongoing snickering. The teacher turns her back to the class and prepares for the start of the lesson.

She’s contemplating putting her head down and pretending she’s not really there when she hears the girl next to her speak.

“Hi Violet, I’m Caitlyn! It’s nice to meet you.” Caitlyn’s grin is unsettling, like she’s had to practice how to do it.

Vi doesn’t want her to get the wrong impression. She’s not here to make friends; she’s here to learn and set an example for her younger sister. She’s here, so she doesn’t have to think about how her life has gone to shit and how her Uncle Vander barely has a lid on things.

“First off, it’s Vi,” she snarls, “and I don’t remember asking you to talk to me. Just leave me alone.”

She watches Caitlyn’s smile wilt, and her shoulders drop, and immediately regrets how harsh she was.

“Got it,” she mumbles as she turns to face the front.

Shit.

When their break time starts, Vi is the first to get up and leave. Chewing on her apple as she walks the grounds alone.

It doesn’t take her long to come across Caitlyn, but to her surprise, she’s alone. Sitting by a large tree, under the shade, scribbling in her notebook. She just assumed a girl that pretty and well off would be swarmed with mindless cronies that would pay to shine her shoes.

However, the other children seem to be allergic to her, refusing to go her way. Vi feels that sharp pang of guilt again. Maybe she’d misjudged her. Vi knew what it was like to feel like an outsider; she didn’t like the idea of Caitlyn feeling that way. She didn’t know why, it’s not like she knew the girl. Maybe it’s because she’s the only one who even attempted to treat Vi like a person.

‘I don’t owe her anything,’ Vi thinks, ‘just turn the other way.’

She walks up to her instead, dropping her half-eaten apple on the floor.

Caitlyn registers that someone is now in front of her, and her shoulders tense as she looks up at the figure. Her eyes widen when she sees that it’s Vi.

They stare at eachother blankly for a couple of seconds. Both are wary of the other.

Vi doesn’t know what to say, she’s just starting to regret her impulsive decision when she notices the stickers on the other girl’s notebook.

“You a fan of Seraphine?” Vi asks, rocking on her feet.

Caitlyn furrows her brow. That’s the last thing she expected Vi to say.

Unsure if she’s going to be made fun of, she hesitates and responds, “Yes.”

Vi smiles wildly at the opening she’s given, glad that she can find something that connects them. “I love her! I collect her CDs, and I always make my uncle play them in the car.”

Caitlyn lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and gestures to her messenger bag, “I have more stickers if you would like some?”

“That’d be awesome!” Vi’s face flushes at her own enthusiasm, “I mean, yeah, cool.”

Caitlyn giggles and pats the ground next to her. Vi takes the hint.

“I also have cupcakes? I made them myself, so they may not taste very nice.”

Vi doesn’t remember the last time she’s had a cupcake, so it’s an easy yes from her, despite the bad-tasting health hazard.

Caitlyn passes her one with blue frosting, and she takes a pink one for herself.

Vi puts the whole thing in her mouth before Caitlyn can blink.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” Vi says honestly, struggling to speak with a mouthful of cupcake.

Caitlyn hides her laugh behind her cupcake and takes a large bite, encouraged by Vi’s excitement.

“Would you like another?” She asks, already handing it out.

“I really shouldn’t- yes!”

In the next ten minutes, Vi manages to learn Caitlyn’s favourite type of tea (mint), the names of her dobermans (Sheriff and Atlas), and that she shoots competitively, an “excellent shot” as the other girl put it. Vi thinks it makes her ten times cooler.

Caitlyn, in turn, learns Vi’s favourite colour is blue, that she has a younger sister named Powder, and that she prefers waffles over pancakes.

They both look equally disappointed when the bell rings to signal the end of their break.

Caitlyn is the first to stand, extending her hand to Vi, “Sit with me in class again?” Caitlyn asks.

Her shy smile is wide enough that she can see the gap in her teeth. It’s much different from the first one. Vi thinks it’s adorable, but she’d never admit it.

She knew from that day on she would never deny Caitlyn Kiramman anything.

“I’d like that, Cupcake”, she smiles back and takes the girl's offered hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You ever think about what would have happened if I hadn’t walked up to you that day?” Vi asks as she fills up her gas tank.

“You mean after barking at me like a Yorkie for daring to breathe in your direction? Yes,” she laughs.

Vi cringes at the memory of how hostile she was towards her at the beginning.

“Did I ever tell you I was sorry?”

“Not particularly, but I knew,” Caitlyn says, handing Vi a cup of coffee she bought from inside.

Vi finishes up, stretches her limbs, and they’re back on the road, the waking sun winking at them on the horizon.

“Do you know how much longer?” Caitlyn asks, buckling her seatbelt.

“About an hour tops. Are you sure this couldn’t have waited til’ morning? I gotta tell Gert I can’t make it into work and she’s just gonna assume I’m hungover or something.”

Vi didn’t actually care, but she wanted to wrangle more information out of her. She could usually read her like an open book but impulsive decisions were usually Vi’s forte, this was unlike Caitlyn. Vi knew that once Caitlyn had her mind set on something, there was no deterring her. This road trip would’ve happened one way or another.

Caitlyn sighs, “I spent my whole life living by a schedule and limiting myself so I can uphold everything expected of me. I became the perfect Kiramman girl. I worked myself to the bone and neglected my heart, and look at where it’s gotten me. I wanted to do something for myself, just this once. Who better to do it with than my best friend?” She reaches over and squeezes Vi’s shoulder. 

The words “best friend” make her stomach turn. She couldn’t pinpoint when she started hating that term, but it was probably around 8th grade, when she began hoping Caitlyn would see her differently. Romantically. It never happened. Still, she waited, and there were times when she thought they toed the line between best friends and something more. However, Caitlyn never said anything, and in turn, neither did she.

She hates that Caitlyn’s already given up. Saying “just this once,” as if she won’t have any more opportunities to finally do things for herself. Vi would do whatever it took to make sure she got to do those things. She makes a mental list of things she knew Caitlyn wanted to do but never did: become a detective, dye her hair a different colour, run a marathon-

Caitlyn gives Vi whiplash when she says, “You know, you never did tell me why you broke up with Sarah.”

Because she wasn’t you, is her first thought.

“Sometimes things just don’t work out, Cait. We parted on good terms.” Vi questions why she’s asking now and not before.

“Good terms? She almost burnt down your apartment. I think the only reason she didn’t was that she didn’t want Powder caught in the crossfire,” Caitlyn reminds her.

“Well, I told her the truth, and she didn’t like that, I can respect it.” The truth being Vi blurting out that she didn’t see a life with her after an existential crisis on her 26th birthday. Sarah didn’t take it too well. Vi’s lucky she still has all her limbs.

“Did you love her?” Caitlyn asks, fidgeting with her sweater.

Vi takes a moment to think about it, and then huffs, “No, I don’t think I did.”

“You were with her for three years, how could you not love her?” Caitlyn looks over at her earnestly, watching for a hint in Vi’s demeanour.

Vi thinks back on her time with Sarah. There were times she thought she felt love, but even their most passionate moments didn’t hold a candle to what she felt when she was with Caitlyn. If she ever did feel love, it wasn’t when she was with Sarah, making love to her, then cooking her dinner in their shared evenings, talking about their life together.

It was when she was braiding Caitlyn’s hair, bringing her lunch when she mentioned she’d forgotten it, watching Cait’s over-the-top detective shows because she liked how they made her laugh, getting up at three in the morning for an impromptu road trip to a beach in a town she’d never heard of. Though everything they did was platonic, spending time with her made her heart swell ten times over.

She knew she couldn’t continue what she had with Sarah. It wasn’t fair to either of them. Vi had resigned herself to a life of pining for her best friend, and to her, Caitlyn was worth it.

“I think I was just hoping I’d wake up one day and feel it,” the way I feel it with you, goes unspoken, “and I kept waking up never feeling it.”

Caitlyn hums in agreement, “I get you, I felt the same way with Maddie.”

“Yeah, but that must’ve been worse, you two were engaged and everything.” Thinking of it makes her want to drive the car into a ditch.

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Caitlyn mumbles, “I think my mother was more upset than I was.”

Vi laughs at that.

“I shouldn’t have wasted my time with her. I shouldn’t have done a lot of things.” The mood turns sombre.

“We’ll get through this, Cait. Together. You still have time, don’t even think about that right now. What’s done is done.” Vi wishes she could hold Caitlyn in her palm and take away all her pain.

She still can’t comprehend what’s happening to her. It’s cruel and unfair. Caitlyn was the last person in the world who deserved this. She had kept the news buried for a week. It’s the longest she’s ever kept something from Vi. She hates to think about how alone Caitlyn must have felt. She noticed something was off; she would never have assumed it was so serious.

Vi turns to look at her when she doesn’t respond. She’s looking straight at the road, unmoving, eyes glazed and vacant.

“Cait? You still with me?” She asks, snapping her fingers in front of her face.

Caitlyn blinks rapidly, coming back to herself, turning to face Vi.

Her gaze softens, “I apologise, darling, my mind went…somewhere.”

Vi can’t bring herself to ask where. Instead, she says:

“It’s fine. Everything is fine.”

They don’t speak for a while after that. Vi focuses on the road, and Caitlyn’s thoughts drift off as Hope Sandoval fills in the silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun has risen now, not fully, but enough to paint the sky in shades of pink and blue. Caitlyn is admiring the view when Vi speaks up.

“We’re almost there.” She yawns and checks the time, it’s almost 8 am. Taking her eyes off the road, she looks over at Caitlyn

Caitlyn is wide awake, tapping her fingers on the window, early morning light casting a glow on her. Vi feels her heart skip several beats, and before she can stop herself, words are coming out of her traitorous mouth.

“You’re so beautiful, Cait, I don’t think I tell you that enough.” Vi has to stop herself from blurting out everything else she wishes she told her more often.

Caitlyn’s fingers freeze, and Vi can see her cheeks flush. Caitlyn looks at her and smiles softly.

“People like to say that, but it’s only ever mattered coming from you.” Caitlyn brushes a loose strand of hair from Vi’s cheek, and Vi welcomes the touch. Tense shoulders easing and relaxing further back into the driver's seat.

“You’re beautiful too. I could watch you do nothing for hours,” Caitlyn confesses.

Vi almost jerks them off the road at hearing that, coughs into her shoulder and fakes nonchalance. Her beaming blush gives her away.

She’s about to fire back, but the “Welcome to Gun” sign steals her attention.

“Looks like we made it!” Vi cheers.

“Yes, I believe we have,” Caitlyn responds.

“You don’t sound excited. Being enslaved for my incredible driving skills, all for naught!”, Vi says mockingly in Caitlyn’s accent.

Caitlyn snorts and gives her a shove.

“The beach is further away, on the edge of town. Our journey isn’t over yet. We’ll head on over after you get some rest.”

Vi secretly wishes it would never end.

“Welcome to Gun, Cait.”

Chapter Text

“Everyone, settle down! She’ll be here any second!” Caitlyn yells.

People begin to scatter and hide. Caitlyn has to force her gaze away from Powder trying to fit between the crack of the wall and the couch. She doesn’t want to be held responsible if Powder gets stuck.

Caitlyn herself hides behind the door where the light switch is, preparing to flick the switch on as quickly as she can.

Moments later, the thudding of boots in the hallway outside can be heard. Everyone is in position when the door starts to open.

Vi stumbles in, in a hurry. “Hey, Cait! Sorry, I’m late, traffic was a nightmare.“

The lights turn on in a flash, and several people jump out from their hiding spaces. Caitlyn startles her the most since she was right behind the door.

“Surprise!” They all yell in unison.

Powder shoots a confetti canon, and Ekko presses play on the music.

Mylo and Claggor spring up from behind a wall and cheer, joined by Vander and Benzo.

Jayce, Mel and Viktor even managed to make it, hollering with the others.

Vi is dumbfounded, gawking at her closest friends and family before her eyes finally land on Caitlyn, who is grinning from ear to ear.

“Happy birthday, Violet!” Caitlyn cheers, pulling Vi into a tight hug that has Vi on her tip-toes.

Vi grips her tighter and lifts her up, spinning them in place, both of them laughing loudly with the motion.

“You unhinged mongoose! How the hell did you keep this a secret from me?” Vi giggles, gently placing her back down and keeping them close together.

“Mongoose!? I can keep secrets when I try hard enough!” Caitlyn says defensively, a broad smile betraying her fake indignation.

Vi is ecstatic, she’s about to respond when she hears someone loudly clear their throat behind her.

They both freeze at the noise and turn to face an irritated Sarah Fortune.

Vi drops her hands from where they’re positioned on Caitlyn’s waist and directs her smile to her girlfriend.

“Happy birthday, baby!” Sarah smiles, sauntering up to her and throwing her arms over Vi’s shoulders.

Sarah holds eye contact with Caitlyn over Vi’s shoulder, glaring daggers as she tightens her grip on her girlfriend possessively. Her mask slips back on when she releases Vi, keeping a loose arm on her shoulder.

Caitlyn has to stop herself from digging her nails into her clenched fists.

Vi ignores the tension and addresses the room, “I can’t believe you guys did this.”

A flash of blue in her peripheral vision has her bracing for impact before Powder barrels into her.

“Happy birthday, you old dinosaur,” Powder cackles with a bone-crushing hug, burrowing deeper into her sister’s arms.

Vi ruffles Powder’s hair and gasps, “I’m only 26, you asshole! You can’t call me a dinosaur for at least three more years.”

Powder wrestles out of the hug, sing-songing “That sounds like something a dinosaur would sayyy.”

Caitlyn chimes in, “Powder, stop bullying your sister so we can get the party started.”

“Boo, I’m never allowed to have any fun.” Powder huffs, turning her attention to Ekko for backup.

Vi observes the interaction and wonders how she got so lucky. She and Caitlyn make eye contact within the chaos, and Caitlyn beams at her. There’s nowhere else in the world she would rather be.

“Settle down, you lot. Come on, it’s time for cake”, Vander interrupts, ruffling Vi’s hair.

“Happy birthday, Kiddo.”

Vi holds back tears. “Thanks, Dad.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deeper into the night, the party settles down. Cake and take-out from Jericho’s have been eaten, drinks have been thrown back like candy, and Vi’s cheeks are starting to hurt from how much she’s laughed. Most of the guests have now left to get an early start to their night, wishing Vi a happy birthday again as Caitlyn sees them to the door.

Vi, Caitlyn, Sarah, Powder and Ekko have made themselves at home on Caitlyn’s living room floor. Vi’s been opening gifts for the last fifteen minutes, drowning her in wrapping paper.

Powder puts on the new boxing gloves Jayce gifted Vi and shadow boxes around Ekko’s head, Ekko in turn pretends to dodge her attacks.

“Here,” Sarah says, tossing Vi her gift, “This one’s from me.”

Vi kisses her cheek in thanks, unaware of the way Caitlyn’s jaw tightens at the action, and pulls out her gift from the birthday bag.

It’s a chain. Simple, elegant, something Sarah could pull on while they have all sorts of fun, Vi assumes. It’ll probably join the other ones she has in her bedside table, collecting dust.

Vi boxes more often than not, so she refrains from wearing jewellery with the exception of her facial piercings and rings that she can take off easily. Vi pretends that Sarah’s gift doesn’t itch her brain and reminds herself that it’s the thought that counts.

“Baby, you shouldn’t have.” Vi grins, kissing her girlfriend and putting the gift aside to pull her into a hug.

Powder hides her laugh behind a cough, and Vi motions at her to cut it out.

Unaware, Sarah claps her hands together and says, “I knew you’d love it. I walked by the store, and it practically called to me.”

Vi’s smile softens, giving Sarah one last hug before looking over expectantly at Caitlyn, who had been unusually quiet during the whole exchange.

“I’m afraid my gift is a lot less flashy”, Caitlyn says nervously as she pulls at the hem of her turtleneck.

“Cait, you could get me a box of Mylo’s moustache hairs, and I’d still be thankful”, Vi jokes.

Caitlyn snorts at that, feeling her burning anxiety lower to a simmer, and walks off to her bedroom to retrieve the gift.

It takes her a couple of minutes, then Caitlyn comes back with a meticulously wrapped box.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. I seem to have forgotten where I put it.”

Vi doesn’t remember the last time detail-oriented, calculator-brained Caitlyn has forgotten anything, but she decides to think nothing of it.

She gently passes the box to Vi, as if afraid to damage whatever is inside. Vi unwraps the paper carefully, respecting how much effort Cait put into wrapping it perfectly.

When she opens the box, her eyes widen.

Nestled inside a leather jacket was a CD. She pulls out the CD first.

The CD case cover features a poorly drawn picture of two girls sitting under a tree. Seraphine stickers have been stuck to the outside of the case. She reads the handmade description on the back of the case and tears up at the realisation. The CD has been burnt, made by hand, just for her—a collection of songs from her favourite band.

It’s overwhelming, being seen this way by someone she treasures so deeply. Vi finds tears streaming down her face before she can stop them.

“I can finally listen to Death Cab for Cutie without having to switch the albums out every 5 minutes. Thank you, Cupcake.”

Vi stands up from her position on the floor and slams into Caitlyn, making her stumble back.

Caitlyn returns the gesture, rubbing circles on her back. Holding back tears of her own, she whispers, “You forgot the jacket, darling.”

Vi unglues herself from Caitlyn and bends down to pick up the jacket.

“It’s real leather, since you’ve worn holes in your old one.” Caitlyn looks away sheepishly.

Vi is a mess, trying to compose herself and stop herself from jumping on her best friend again. Holding back, she puts the jacket on and melts into it. It’s oversized, just how she prefers it.

Sarah stands up, unimpressed. “I don’t get it. She has a million jackets.”

“The only real leather one she has is one she stole from Vander when she was fifteen,” Powder informs her, “It’s basically as ancient as he is. This one is hers.”

Sarah’s face heats in anger. She hadn’t known that, and she’s been with Vi for three years. Caitlyn had clearly spoken to Powder about the gift beforehand. 

“The CD is a big deal too,” Vi interrupts, “Now I have all my favourite songs in one, so I don’t have to juggle between albums.” She looks back at Caitlyn and stifles a sniffle.

Caitlyn doesn’t register that Sarah is speaking, too focused on the joy she feels at making her best friend so happy.

Best friend.

She hates that term; she wishes there was a stronger term for what she and Vi share. Vi is clearly happy with Sarah, and Caitlyn would never do anything to jeopardise that. Even if the thought of Vi spending her nights with Sarah lights her aflame.

“So I see.” Sarah says sharply.

Powder and Ekko look at each other awkwardly. They can feel the displeasure radiating off Sarah. Powder silently compares it to a ticking time bomb.

“Well, we'd better be off!” Ekko says, yawning exaggeratedly.

“Yup! Lots of…stuff to do!” Powder jumps up and pats Caitlyn on the back, gives Vi one last hug and motions to Sarah with her head in acknowledgment.

Ekko fist bumps Vi, and they’re out the door in record time.

“See you at home!” Powder yells at Vi from outside.

Vi furrows her brows, “That wasn’t weird at all.” Her tears have subsided, leaving confusion in their wake.

“Mhm.” Sarah exhales sharply.

“Well, Vi, I think we should get going too. The party is clearly over, and I would like us to have the rest of the night to ourselves”, Sarah emphasises, looking Caitlyn’s way.

Caitlyn physically feels her heart throb in her chest. “That would be for the best”, she resigns.

Vi looks torn at the dismissal, but Caitlyn’s had a long night, and it clearly taken her a lot of time to organise the surprise party. Vi wants her to get the rest she deserves.

“Well, that’s that. Thank you again, Cupcake. This was the best birthday ever.”

Vi hugs her one last time, cradling the back of her head. Caitlyn squeezes back harder, scared that she’ll disappear if she lets her go.

Her phone buzzing in her pocket interrupts their moment, and Caitlyn pulls it out to see who's calling.

Incoming call from: Maddie Nolen.

They both freeze, Vi’s gaze hardening.

“I should probably take this. Goodnight, Vi.”

Leaving Caitlyn’s orbit physically pains her, but she steps away and gathers all her things. Sarah takes her hand and leads her out the door, not bothering with goodbyes.

At home, Vi is restless. After several failed attempts at an orgasm via Sarah’s mouth, Vi sits her down. Gently tells her she doesn’t see a life with her and apologises sincerely for being so selfish. It had been a long time coming. Vi only regrets putting it off for so long.

Sarah sees red, wreaking havoc on Vi and Powder's shared apartment, cursing her to hell and back. Only stopping when Powder exits her room holding a baseball bat and threatens to kick her ass.

Sarah storms out of the apartment, seething and screams, “You can go be with her now! Love her long enough to watch her die for all I care!” Slamming the door hard enough to shake the room.

Vi never understood what she meant by that, too frazzled and dense to read within the lines.

It took her almost three years to discern what Sarah said. That it revealed everyone had registered Vi’s love for Caitlyn before Vi ever did.

By that time, it was too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The food here better be edible”, Vi yawns for the umpteenth time, stretching her sore legs. She should’ve protested more when Caitlyn insisted she do the driving.

“As long as there are waffles, am I right?” Caitlyn jokes.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Filthy pancake enjoyer”, Vi grumbles, pulling her leather jacket tighter to protect her from the chill of the early morning.

Caitlyn dismisses her dig, “It’s a lovely little place.”

“Yeah, but what type of name is ‘Two Whales Diner’? Sounds ominous. Why are there two whales?”

“Must you question everything?”

“Just calling it like I see it, Cupcake.”

They walk into the small diner and pick a booth.

“Smells like pure bud in here.”

“How do you know what weed smells like, Vi?”

Vi goes silent for a moment, “I plead the fifth.”

Caitlyn hides her laugh behind her menu.

“I’ve booked us a motel room, we can eat, then rest before we sightsee and head over to the beach. I’d like to spend the entire day with you, if that’s alright?” Caitlyn asks.

As if Vi would ever say no to her, “I’m all yours, Cait.”

They share a shy smile, Vi’s hand reaching across the table to hold Caitlyn’s.

Their moment is interrupted by the waitress coming over to take their order.

“Welcome to Two Whales Diner! What can I get you?”

Vi speaks first, “I’ll have the Belgian waffles, please. Could I get extra syrup with that?”

“‘Course you can, anything to drink? We make a mean cup of coffee.”

Vi twitches at the idea of having anymore coffee. “No, thanks, I’ve had enough coffee to kill two whales.”

Vi cackles to herself at her joke, Caitlyn shakes her head incredulously.

The waitress laughs in agreement and turns to Caitlyn, “And you, Miss?”

“Just a cup of coffee, thank you-“ Caitlyn looks at her name-tag, “-Joyce.” She finishes.

“Is that really all you’re getting? You’re killing me here, Cupcake.” Vi questions.

“I’m not hungry, but please eat all the waffles your ginormous heart desires.”

Vi lets it go, and Joyce is off with their orders.

They admire the ambiance of the diner, Vi gets up at some point to play music on the jukebox and sits back down.

She takes in Caitlyn’s appearance. She’s become thinner, her hair messier than she usually prefers it, under eye bags similar to the ones she had in college after pulling several all-nighters, have come back with a vengeance. Nonetheless, she’s still the prettiest thing Vi’s ever had the privilege of laying her eyes on. She wants to stay here forever and forget about everything that threatens to tear them apart.

She hates herself for not noticing something was off sooner.

Caitlyn raises an eyebrow, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

Caitlyn looks at her mournfully, “Like I’m going to disappear.”

Vi’s throat tightens.

“I’m sorry,” Vi says, looking at Caitlyn through her lashes.

“I’m sorry too,” She responds, holding Vi’s gaze.

Vi’s jaw clenches, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Not yet.” Caitlyn remarks.

Before Vi can press her further, Joyce comes back with their orders.

“One order of Belgian waffles and a piping hot cup of coffee for the lovely couple”, she says innocently.

They both sputter out objections.

“We’re not-“

“You’re mistaken-“

Joyce laughs and puts down their plates.

“I was in love once”, she says wistfully before walking off to serve another table.

Caitlyn and Vi hesitantly look at each other, faces burning in embarrassment.

They finish their orders in bashful silence.