Chapter Text
He breathed in before speaking...
"I.... I guess yeah i do?"Steven said As pink Steven sat patiently
"What are you thinking about?"Pink Asked Gently
Steven bit his lip, his heart hammering in his chest. He glanced at Pink, those beautiful white diamonds seeming to pierce right through him. Maybe it was safe here, in this dream space where the rules were different. Where he could be honest without judgment.
"It's... it's about you," Steven admitted quietly, his voice barely audible over the sound of waves. "About us. Or... whatever this is."
Pink tilted their head, studying Steven intently. "Go on," they encouraged softly.
Steven swallowed hard, his fingers digging into the sand beside him. "I... I don't understand why I react the way I do around you. It's confusing. Scary. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself, but..." He said as his cheeks flushed slightly. "it also feels... right."
Pink's expression softened, their hand reaching out to gently brush against Steven's. "That makes sense" Pink murmured, intertwining their fingers with Steven's. "We're connected both of us are. We are Two halves of the same whole. It's natural to feel drawn to each other especially since we've been together since we were newly born."
"But shouldn't I be able to control how i feel better?" Steven said his voice cracking slightly. "Shouldn't I be stronger?"
Pink squeezed his hand softly before looking confidently at him before speaking. "Being attracted to yourself doesn't make you weak Steven. It makes you human. Well i guess half-human anyways" they added with a soft look. "Your feelings are valid. You don't have to fight them constantly ya know."
Steven's breath hitched as Pink leaned in closer, their faces mere inches apart. He could smell the faint scent of ocean breeze and vanilla emanating from Pink's skin. Those white diamond eyes seemed to glow in the fading light pulling Steven in like a magnet.
"I've been wanting to do this all day," Pink whispered, their free hand coming up to cup Steven's cheek. "Can I kiss you Steven?" Pink Steven said As Steven could practically feel the arrow hit his heart As he felt himself become breathless.
Oh god- oh God. He needed that so bad he needed to be loved and Cared About so Bad he Was desperate for physical affection.
Steven's eyes fluttered closed as he nodded. "Y-yes please- Oh god please" he breathed out Staring at his pink half memorized as he tilting his face up to meet Pink's lips.
When The kiss came it was soft and longing and yet nothing like the previous kiss from his earlier dream.somehow It was everything Steven hadn't known he'd been craving—a connection that felt meaningful and absolutely right As he Felt euphoria.
Steven melted into it, his hand coming up to rest against Pink's chest And Pulling him deeper as he was feeling the steady beat of their hearts syncing together. And This felt different. Safer. More intimate in a way that made his whole body warm with contentment And sparkling Like a Christmas light.
When they finally broke apart, both were breathless, foreheads resting together as they gazed into each other's eyes. The sunset painted everything in hues of gold and amber, creating an almost ethereal glow around them.
"I wish we could stay like this forever," Steven murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "Where it's just us and nothing else matters."
Pink smiled before brushing hair from Steven's face. "Me too, Steven. Me too."
Before They sat there together as the sun dipped below the horizon holding each other close as the stars began to emerge overhead. For once, Steven didn't feel lonely. He didn't feel confused or guilty. He just felt... complete.
...
Steven woke. He sat upright in bed quickly before blinking rapidly as he tried to orient himself to reality.
That was... really intense. And really, really not helpful for his current mental state.
He flopped back onto the bed with a groan, throwing an arm over his eyes. His body was thrumming with unspent energy As now his skin feeling too sensitive and his mind too foggy to think clearly.
This was getting ridiculous. Two days in a row with these Stupidity vivid and emotionally charged dreams about himself. What did it even mean?
As felt the Lingering sensation of the kiss Was he suddenly felt his Face burn as he Flooped Back onto the bed.
"Maybe it's just my brain's way of telling me I need to get laid" he muttered to himself as he sighed.
"Yeah right" he said as he felt his face burn again.
"I don't even know what I'm doing" he said as he ran a hand through his messy hair.
"Fuck..." he said as he buried his head into his pillow.
...
"Hey Steven!" A familiar voice called out from down stairs, jolting him awake from another restless nap.
"Come down here, I've got something to show you!" One of the gems called out.
Steven rubbed at his eyes, trying to shake off the lingering remnants of his dream. He must have fallen asleep again after all that thinking...
"Coming!" Steven yelled back but he felt exhausted in every sense of the way. There was no way he could get out of bed with how shitty he felt.
So he just laid there Was Itch of himself feeling like a burn rug.
Before he got up Feeling slightly out of it as He Wondered how he managed to always get out of bed.
He Didn't think about the disconnected feeling.
To him that was the most normal thing to him. Almost as easy as breathing.
He hadn't paid attention to his surroundings for a bit until he Heard talking and slightly Flinched as he Looked at Pearl who was Saying something that he didn't have the Energy to pay attention to even As he responded somehow.
He Was getting coffee As he Got lost in his head again As he stared at the Wall.
He should probably go garden.
Yeah gardening sounded good.
...
Steven Was Gardening, his hands sinking into the cool earth as he focused on the simple task of planting seeds although feeling still Slightly disconnected from reality. Even as The repetitive motion helped calm his scattered thoughts though he couldn't quite banish the lingering feelings from his dreams entirely.
He wiped sweat from his brow pausing to stretch his aching back That Felt like it was a mile away.As His skin still felt too sensitive prickling with awareness that made him shift uncomfortably.
When did gardening become such a chore?
And yet That didn't make sense because he loved gardening.
So why Was it such a chore today?
"Steven! Dinner's ready!" Pearl's voice called from the house as he Flinched again
Steven sighed setting down his tools. "Be right there!"
He made his way inside, washing his hands before heading to the dining area. Pearl had set out a simple meal of pasta and salad, and Steven managed a small smile when he saw she'd prepared his favorite sauce.
Bur his chest felt numb
"Thanks, Pearl. This looks great," Steven said, settling into his chair. As He picked at his food halfheartedly, his appetite nonexistent despite how long it had been since breakfast but of course he forced himself to eat it Despite his appetite.
As Pearl studied him with concern. "You haven't eaten much lately. Are you feeling alright?"
Steven shrugged, not meeting her eyes. "Just tired, I guess."
That was an understatement. Between the vivid dreams and his inability to focus, Steven felt like he was running on fumes. But he couldn't exactly explain the source of his restlessness to Pearl. How would he even begin to describe what had happened?
"Maybe you should take some time for yourself tomorrow," Pearl suggested gently. "Do something fun. Clear your mind."
But... Having fun.. was For children. and he wasn't a child anymore.
But of Course Steven nodded though he wasn't sure what would actually help at this point. Everything felt exhausting lately And almost fake even tasks he used to enjoy. When He finished his dinner in silence he then excused himself to head back to his room.
And As soon as he was alone Steven collapsed onto his bed with a heavy sigh. His body felt weighed down sluggish and unmotivated.
He didn't get it. Gosh he Felt awful. And His Dreams had been better than today.
He sighed. He Shouldn't be so pathetic. He shouldn't be so useless-
He Eyes Drifted down his body before he stiffened.
He Wasn't having any thoughts. But he knew he was. But he felt like he should be.
Because his face warmed up As he Had no thoughts but Strange urges that Were Quickly covered up and shoved away as He Turned and covered himself in the blanket he had.
Yet Again he Was staring at the wall before closing his eyes.