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English
Series:
Part 12 of hr: online edn
Stats:
Published:
2026-04-14
Words:
1,662
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
368
Kudos:
3,829
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295
Hits:
13,927

a night to forget

Summary:

Roz
you are all trying to make my phone explode?

Roz
what is problem

Roz
is someone dying

Roz
someone better be dying

Shane
What’s happening? Is everyone okay?

Hazy
@Shane Do you have a tattoo?

Shane
DO I HAVE A WHAT?

(the cens win the cup and go celebrating after. cue drunk shenanigans and hungover texting)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

ESPN: BREAKING NEWS: Ottawa Centaurs win the Stanley Cup in an epic showdown against Vegas Golden Knights, pulling it off with an 8-2 win...

 

 

Cens

 

Roz
we are leaving for bar in 10 minutes everyone be ready

Roz
be ready to celebrate with cup🏆

Roz
i am bringing it so we can drink vodka from it😏

Young
fuck ok

Young
can we have 15 pls

Holmy
pls

Roz
no

Shane
Of course :)

 

 

@fortunatelyacensfan
GUYS THE CENS ARE AT THE BAR I'M AT

@fortunatelyacensfan
HOLY FUCK THE STANLEY CUP IS HERE

@fortunatelyacensfan
omg wait they're drinking out the stanley cup this is so fucking cool to witness

@fortunatelyacensfan
LORD THESE MEN ARE SO HOT

@fortunatelyacensfan
this is so entertaining to watch, they're all so drunk! even shane hollander is drinking!!!

@fortunatelyacensfan
omg one of the players (idk which one sorry) just proposed marriage to the girl he's been making out with all night i died

@fortunatelyacensfan
lmao roz just did a bodyshot off his husbands stomach GOD THEY R SO FUCKING HOT

@fortunatelyacensfan
i'm actually combusting where i stand

@fortunatelyacensfan
i feel like a creep now actually 

@fortunatelyacensfan
okay wait some of the cens just left

@fortunatelyacensfan
i think it was shane hollander and some of the rookies maybe?

 

 

Roz
@Shane where are you

Roz
@Shane ????

Holmy
dw capein he ibse wiht bus 

Boyle
aksn qwe geyutng ak gtattiokp

Roz
????????

Roz
ENGLISH IS AHARD ENOUGHE STOP THIS

Roz
WHERE IS MY HUSBAND

 

 

You have [16] missed calls from Ilya. 

 

 

@fortunatelyacensfan
i'm dying rozanov just started drunk crying

@fortunatelyacensfan
he keeps shouting 'SHANYA COME BACK' and crying LMAO

@fortunatelyacensfan
actually its time for me to go home too i'm falling asleep sorry everyone

@fortunatelyacensfan
everyone say good night, god bless, and good luck to the cens when they wake up tomorrow because they're gonna be HANGING

 

 

@HolmbergJackHockey
ndopnw 

sla[  bihdo                 olsk]]]]]]]]]]]

[Photos attached:

1: A blurry picture burst of the floor;

2: A picture of the rookie, Theo Young, passed out in the hotel room bathtub wearing a pair of shorts, a crop top that reads 'i heart sluts', a feather boa, and a pair of cheap, bright yellow sunglasses;

3: A blurry picture of a fruity, colourful cocktail with a bendy straw and a mini umbrella in it. In the background, however, Luca Haas can be seen making out with Theo Young, and is almost straddling him;

4: A picture of Shane Hollander in a tattoo parlour looking pleased with himself but also very drunk. Rookies Eric LaPointe, Theo Young, Zack Boyle, and Luca Haas are behind him. Theo Young is cheering and Eric LaPointe is grinning and is giving Shane two thumbs up.

5: A picture of Shane Hollander in the same tattoo parlour from the back. He's wearing his top but only a pair of boxers on the bottom. His tattoo is not visible, as there is a absorbent white pads covering the upper thigh.]

 

 

@fortunatelyacensfan
OH WOW

@fortunatelyacensfan
clearly a lot happened after i left

@fortunatelyacensfan
so much to address here idek where to start jfc

@fortunatelyacensfan
not holmberg accidentally leaking his own camera roll i'm crying

@fortunatelyacensfan
i though gen z were supposed to be tech geniuses

@fortunatelyacensfan
OH HOLY FUCK SHANE HOLLANDER GOT A THIGH TATTOO

@fortunatelyacensfan
I'M GOING TO PASS AWAY

 

 

Yuna
Shane Hollander!

Yuna
Twitter is saying you got a tattoo???????????????

 

 

Cens

 

Boyle
is anyone alive

Boyle
holmy is legit a zombie

Boyle
also he apparently got a tattoo last night??????

Young
kys

Boyle
🥲

Young
wait holmy got a tat hahahahaha

Young 
pls say tramp stamp pls say tramp stamp pls say tramp stamp🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Holmy
go fuck urself

Roz
no i am dead

Roz
shane is also dead i think because it is past 7am and he is still asleep

Young
so sad that ur old men now

Young
can't hold ur vodka anymore😔

Young
tragic

Roz
i am fragile right now young do not do this to me

Wyatt
No, I am not okay :(

Dykstra
I am also not ok. My head is in PAIN.

Dysktra
I feel like my head got kicked in by a horse, then my brains leaked out and got repeatedly rolled over by a truck, before being shoved back inside. 

Boyle
what a way with words

Holmy
poet of the century✍️

Young
@Dykstra if it helps this is how i feel when u play ur music so

Dykstra
Bood is still asleep. I'm so jealous.

Dykstra
Is anyone alive enough to go punch Young???

Ilya Rozanov emphasised this message. 

Young
ah jesus christ i think i have a tattoo as well???????????

Young
wait wait wait hold on

Holmy
HAHA YOU GOT A TAT TOO

Holmy
manifesting tramp stamp for you too fucker🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

Luca
i just woke up :(

Luca
wish i hadn’t :(

Luca
also does anyone actually remember anything from last night? my last memory is arriving at the bar…

Dykstra
What time is check out??

Barrett
I actually feel ok. Harris is still asleep. 

Barrett
Think I'm gonna wake him soon tho cause his phone won't stop ringing.

Barrett
Also check out is at 11 I think.

Holmy
idk if I can rally by 11 ngl

Dillon
I feel great! Me and Nick are at breakfast if anyone wants to join :)

Nick
He's lying he just puked into his own hat 

Dillon
Bro

 

 

Weibe
After some of the texts I received last night I extended everyone’s check out to 3pm. But flight is STILL at 8pm! Do NOT be late. 

Young
my king🙏🏽🙏🏽

Holmy
thank you legend

Roz
thank you weibe u are the best

Roz
i am going back to sleep

Roz
everyone back to sleep captain orders

Hazy
@Weibe you are my new favourite superhero🦸🏻

Hazy
WAIT NO SLEEP

Hazy
WE NEED MORE INFO ON THE TATTOOS

Holmy
ok wait who actually has one??

Young 
me

Holmy
me

Luca
is that everyone?

Young
no luca u have one too u forgot

Luca
WHAT

Luca
NO I DON'T

Luca
WHAT

Young 
yh it says i’m hollanov's no 1 fan😏

Luca
i hate you so fucking much omg

Luca
everyone theo is lying

Holmy
wow theo being annoying asf???? who would have guessed????

Dykstra
I'm so shocked by this news.

Dillon
LOL

Young
fuck u all

Hazy
BACK TO THE TATTOOS

Hazy
Send pictures please👀

Young
u dirty dirty bastard

Holmy
inappropriate!!!

Holmy
i'm telling lisa!!!!!!!!!!

Young
i'm feeling very vulnerable and sexualised in the workplace😦

Boyle
@everyone here are the pictures

Boyle
[2 photos attached]

Young
@Harris help us!! i'm reporting this to hr

Dysktra
Ok they're not bad actually

Dykstra
Can't go wrong with a stanley cup tat

Dykstra
I actually kind of want to get one too

Dillon
Same

Dillon
Nick says same but he says he can't text rn cause his phone is giving him a headache

Harris
For the last time, I am NOT HR.  

Hazy
Harris ur alive!!!

Hazy
How are you feeling?

Harris
Oh Jesus Christ.

Hazy
??

Harris
I've just seen an email from I got from Liz titled MEETING REGARDING TWITTER POST???????????😠😠😠

Barrett
Own up guys

Barrett
Who caused this??

Barrett
Who is making my boyfriend have to work with a hangover on his first day off in months?😒

Hazy
Wait what?

Harris 
Has anyone been online today it's not even 11am?🥲🥲🥲

Dillon
No I’m barely responding to this chat LOL

Dykstra
Not me

Boyle
i turned my notifs off after we won stanley for anything except texts

Holmy
same

Young
me three

Luca
Harris what’s happening???

Harris
@Holmberg Oh I’m going to murder you.

Holmy
what??

Holmy
why me🫨

Harris
Check twitter. 

Holmy
oh fuck

Holmy
oh holy shit

Holmy
@Luca and @Young I'm so sorry guys :(

Luca
What does this mean???

Luca
Explain please

Holmy
one sec I'm gonna screenshot the tweet and then delete it

Holmy
ok deleted

Holmy
[6 screenshots attached]

Hazy
Oh holy shit

Dykstra
HOLY SHITT

Luca
Oh my God

Luca
This is so embarrassing

Luca
Fuck

Young
oh wow

Holmy
i’m really really sorry guys😓

Young
some memories are returning to me now @Luca

Young
lets do it again😏

Luca
Are you joking around?

Young
no direct message me😚😚😚😚

Young
@Holmy its ok bro it was an accident

Luca
@Holmy don’t worry about it❤️

Boyle
i fucking knew it!!!!!!

Boyle
i literally called this last month

Boyle
WAIT IS THAT SHANE HOLLANDER GETTING A TATTOO?????????

Young
oh holy shit hahaah i forgot we all convinced hollzy to get a tat

Dykstra
Oh my GOD

Dillon
You did what?😮😮😮

Nick
I came on my phone again just for this

Hazy
I’m waking up Bood this is 911 levels

Hazy
Does anyone know what it is??

Luca
no

Young
i wish

Holmy
no idea

Boyle
i have no clue unfortunately 

Dillon
I didn’t even know anyone gots tats until an hour ago

Dykstra
Same

Bood
What the actual fuck happened last night?

Bood
Jesus

Bood
I’m just reading through the chat now

Hazy
@Roz are you awake??????

Hazy
@Shane ????

Hazy
Everyone call them we need to wake them up

 

 

Roz
you are all trying to make my phone explode?

Roz
what is problem

Roz
is someone dying

Roz
someone better be dying

Shane
What’s happening? Is everyone okay?

Hazy
@Shane Do you have a tattoo? 

Shane
DO I HAVE A WHAT?

Hazy
It’s the rookie’s fault!

Roz
A tattoo????

Roz
One moment

 

 

Roz
Wow

Roz
i am 

Roz
wow

Roz
baby rookies you are all getting $5,000 bonus each for helping shane do this

 

 

@therealilyarozanov ✔️
this is better than stanley cup😍😍😍

[Photo attached: Shane Hollander’s thigh, which has a small, thin tattoo of the letters ‘IR’ and the numbers ‘81’].

 

 

Ilya Rozanov
hello coach me and shane are not coming to airport

Ilya Rozanov
we are extending stay we are not leaving hotel room for many days ok bye

 

 

LaPointe
I just woke up in a random hotel room

LaPointe
Guys I think I got married last night???

Notes:

a lil something short and silly :)

also this was inspired by a fic i read a while ago but i can’t find it now :(
edit: someone in the comments found it for me and omg i forgot the og fic is also a young/luca shipper🤯

Series this work belongs to: