Chapter Text
High above the city— Fumihiko Takaba sat comfortably on his floating carpet, legs crossed like a king watching his own performance. “Ahhh… now this is entertainment.”
Below him, the sky had transformed into a massive stage. Spotlights beamed down from nowhere, sweeping dramatically across a floating dancefloor made entirely of glowing tiles. Music blasted—loud, energetic, completely over-the-top. And at the center of it all— Kittens and dogs. Dressed in tiny boxing gloves.
They were wearing high heels. And even little angel wings. They spun, danced, and occasionally stopped to throw playful punches at each other like professional fighters mid-performance. “LEFT HOOK, WHISKERS!!!”
“BARK YOUR WAY TO VICTORY!!!”
Takaba clutched his stomach, laughing. “This is peak comedy—!”
One tiny kitten did a full spin in heels before accidentally uppercutting a dog, who dramatically flew backward in slow motion, sparkles trailing behind it. “KO!!!”
Fireworks exploded behind them. Takaba wiped tears from his eyes. “I’m a genius…”
He leaned back slightly on the carpet, looking down at the city below— At the crowds, they were still laughing at the chaos. They were still forced to cheer and they were still watching him. He smiled down at them. “…Man…”
His smile softened for just a second. “They really like this…”
Then— His eyes lit up again. “…Oh.”
A thought, a great thought. “You know what would make this even funnier?”
He snapped his fingers. “What if it started raining…”
He paused for dramatic effect. “…but instead of water—” A wide grin spread across his face. “—it rained cats and dogs.”
Below, everything went still for a split second. Then— “…Wait,” Yuji Itadori said, looking up. “Why do I feel like—”
THUD.
A cat landed directly on his head. “…Ow?”
The cat meowed proudly, sitting there like it owned him. “…Okay.”
THUD.
Another impact, as there was a fluffy, oversized cat dropped straight onto Satoru Gojo’s head. It clung there, perfectly on top of his fluffy hair. Gojo didn’t move. “…Huh.”
The cat purred. Gojo slowly reached up, lifting it slightly to look at it. “…You’re soft.” The cat blinked at Gojo, which made him smile. “…I like you.”
And then— It really started. Cats and dogs poured from the sky like rain. Not falling violently— But bouncing harmlessly upon impact, immediately running around like they had always been there. “OH MY GOD—PUPPIES!!!” Yu Haibara dropped to his knees instantly as three dogs tackled him, licking his face.
“Haha—okay, okay, calm down!”
Nearby, Junpei Yoshino backed away rapidly as a group of barking dogs surrounded him. “W-WAIT—NO—STAY BACK—!”
One barked loudly, Junpei flinched. “I DON’T TRUST YOU—!”
He tripped over himself trying to escape as more dogs happily chased after him. Yuji, meanwhile, carefully removed the cat from his head. “…Okay, this is weirdly adorable.” The cat meowed again. “…I think it likes me.”
In contrast— Kento Nanami stood completely still. A dog sat beside him. Another brushed against his leg. A cat leapt past him. He didn’t react. “…This is unnecessary.”
Beside him, Hiromi Higuruma adjusted his coat slightly as a cat landed near his foot. “…This defies all logical consistency.”
The cat meowed. Higuruma looked down at it. “…And yet, it exists.” He frowned slightly. “…Which is precisely the problem.”
Gojo gently set the fluffy cat down. Then— He looked up again. The sky had become even more chaotic. The parade had doubled. No—tripled. Every laugh from below seemed to amplify it further. “…Yeah,” Gojo said quietly. “We’re running out of time.”
Nanami stepped forward. “…Agreed.”
Haibara, still surrounded by dogs, looked up. “Aww… but can we keep at least one?”
“No,” Nanami said immediately.
They gathered together, stepping slightly away from the chaos. Even as cats and dogs continued to fall around them. Gojo crossed his arms. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s think this through.”
Nanami adjusted his glasses. “…We’re dealing with a subject whose ability manifests based on personal humor.”
“Right,” Gojo nodded. “If he thinks it’s funny, it becomes real.”
Junpei, still nervously watching the dogs, spoke up. “…And the more people react positively… the stronger it gets.”
Nanami added, “…Which means the crowd is actively reinforcing his ability.”
Yuji blinked. “…So… people laughing is making this worse?”
“We think that’s the case,” Nanami said.
“…That’s kind of messed up.”
Higuruma stepped forward slightly. “…Then the solution is simple.”
Everyone looked at him. “…We remove the audience.”
A pause that was stuck in the air while the chaos was behind them. Gojo tilted his head. “…Not bad.”
Higuruma continued, “If his ability relies on reinforcement through external validation, then isolating him should weaken its output.”
Nanami nodded once. “…Evacuate the civilians.”
Haibara raised a hand. “Uh… how are we supposed to do that without them panicking?”
“…We don’t panic them,” Gojo said casually.
Everyone looked at him. “…We distract them.”
Yuji blinked. “…With what?”
Gojo grinned. “…Me.”
Nanami sighed. “…Of course.”
Higuruma wasn’t finished. “…That addresses the amplification,” he said. “But not the source.”
He looked up at Takaba. “…We still need to confront him directly.”
Junpei hesitated. “…What if… we don’t fight him?”
Everyone paused, Junpei swallowed. “I mean… if his power is based on what he finds funny… then maybe…”
He looked unsure. “…Maybe we just… go along with it?”
Yuji’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Like playing into the joke?”
Gojo snapped his fingers. “Now that’s interesting.”
Nanami frowned. “…Explain.”
Gojo’s grin widened. “If we try to fight him normally, we’re playing by rules that don’t apply to him.”
He looked up at Takaba again. “But if we enter his world…”
His tone sharpened slightly. “…We might be able to control the narrative.”
Higuruma considered that. “…You’re suggesting we manipulate his perception.”
“Exactly.”
Nanami crossed his arms. “It’s really risky.”
“Very,” Gojo agreed.
“But it’s our best shot.”
Haibara pumped his fist. “Alright! Let’s make him laugh with us!”
Junpei looked nervous. “…I’m not good at this…”
Yuji grinned. “Don’t worry—I’ll help!”
Junpei did not look reassured. “Uh… Okay.”
Gojo stepped forward slightly, looking up at the sky. “…Step one: clear the area.”
Nanami nodded. “I’ll handle that.”
“Step two,” Gojo continued, “we approach him.” He cracked his knuckles slightly. “And step three…”
A smile spread across his face. “…We out-funny the comedian.”
Fumihiko Takaba raised his arms again. “…What’s next?” The sky warped in anticipation. And below— The plan was set in motion. Because if this continued— The joke wouldn’t just get bigger. It would become unstoppable.
High above the city— Fumihiko Takaba sat cross-legged on his floating carpet, chin resting in his palm as he stared out at his ever-growing spectacle. “…Okay… what’s next…”
Below him, the chaos continued endlessly—animals, fireworks, candy, music, laughter. Everything moved exactly how he imagined it would. But now— He was thinking harder. “I already did dancing animals… flying parade… raining cats and dogs…”
He tapped his chin. “…What else is funny?”
Below— The others had already begun moving. “Alright,” Kento Nanami said calmly, adjusting his glasses. “We split up. Minimize panic, guide civilians out of range.”
“Got it!” Yuji Itadori nodded.
“I’ll help!” Yu Haibara added enthusiastically.
“…I’ll assist with coordination,” Junpei Yoshino said, though he still flinched slightly as a dog barked nearby.
Higuruma simply nodded. “…I’ll ensure order is maintained.” They spread out quickly. Yuji moved first—fast, energetic, waving his arms. “Alright everyone! Let’s move this way! The show’s gonna get even bigger, so we need more space!”
People laughed, some clapping. “Ooooh, a new part of the show?!”
Yuji forced a grin. “Yeah! Special backstage access!”
Haibara joined in, practically glowing with excitement. “Come on, come on! You don’t wanna miss it!” He was so genuine that people naturally followed. Even as they laughed— Even as they didn’t question it— They moved.
Junpei took a different approach. He guided smaller groups, speaking more quietly. “…Please head this way. It’s safer.”
“Safer?” someone asked, still chuckling.
“…Yes,” Junpei said. “The… uh… next act might involve… explosions.”
The crowd laughed again. “Even better!”
Junpei sighed internally. “…This is harder than I thought…” Still— They moved.
Nanami, meanwhile, was direct. “Leave the area.”
No jokes.
No smiles.
Just firm, undeniable authority. And somehow— It worked. People listened to them. Even while laughing. Even while confused. They walked away, while Higuruma observed it all carefully. “…Interesting,” he muttered.
Even as they were escorted away— The civilians were still laughing. They were still smiling and still reacting to anything that was around them. “…The effect persists beyond proximity.”
He adjusted his glasses. “…Which means the influence isn’t environmental.”
His gaze lifted slightly. “…It’s imposed.”
One by one— The streets were cleared. The laughter didn’t stop. But the crowd was gone. High above— Gojo moved in an instant. Satoru Gojo appeared on the floating carpet. Takaba blinked. “…Huh?”
He turned. And froze. “…Wait—”
A tall man with white hair stood casually behind him. “…Who are you?!”
Gojo smiled, completely at ease. “Just a fan.”
He turned slightly, striking a dramatic pose like he belonged there. Takaba’s eyes lit up. “…Oh. I like you.”
Gojo chuckled. “Good to hear.”
Then his tone shifted—just slightly. “But we should probably stop this.”
Takaba blinked. “…Stop?”
He looked around, in the sky at the chaos and at the fun. “…Why?”
“Because,” Gojo said simply, “this isn’t as harmless as you think.”
Takaba frowned.
“What are you talking about? Everyone’s having a great time!”
Gojo tilted his head. “Are they?”
Below— The civilians continued laughing. But now— There was something off. Their laughter didn’t fade. They didn’t slow, not even an inch, they didn’t even stop. Even as they walked farther away. Even when nothing new happened. They just kept laughing. It seemed like it was endless.
Gojo looked back at Takaba. “You’re not making them laugh,” he said calmly.
“…You’re forcing them to.”
Takaba’s smile faltered slightly. “…That’s not true.”
“It is.”
Gojo crossed his arms. “This entire thing—this parade, the reactions, the energy…”
His eyes sharpened. “It’s all based on what you think is funny.”
Takaba’s grip tightened slightly. “…So what?”
“So,” Gojo said, “their reactions aren’t real.”
.
“They’re part of your reality.”
Takaba looked down at the people. Still seeing that they were laughing and smiling at everything that was happening even though it looked a little weird then natural. “…No…”
His voice was quieter now. “…They’re laughing.”
“They are,” Gojo agreed.
“Because you decided they would.”
For a moment— Takaba said nothing. Then— He shook his head. “…I don’t care.”
Gojo raised an eyebrow. “This is the first time…” Takaba said, his voice rising slightly, “the first time people are actually laughing at my jokes!”
His expression tightened. “I’m not stopping that.”
Gojo studied him carefully. “…Figured you’d say that.”
Takaba suddenly pointed at him. “Then let’s settle it!”
Gojo blinked. “…Settle it?”
“With a competition!” Takaba declared.
His grin returned—wide, excited, determined. “Whoever wins decides everything!” He pointed between them. “If I win, the show keeps going!” Then at Gojo. “If you win… I’ll stop.”
Gojo was quiet for a moment, he was thinking about this offer. Gojo was also observing and analyzing the situation. “…You’re dangerous,” he said finally.
Takaba laughed. “Only if it’s funny!”
Gojo exhaled. Then— Smiled. “…Alright. I’m in.”
Takaba’s face lit up completely. “YES!”
He gave a big thumbs up. “Let’s go!” He snapped his fingers.
Reality shifted all around them. Suddenly— They weren’t in the sky anymore. They stood inside a glowing disco room. A giant disco ball spun above them, casting flashing lights across the floor. Neon colors pulsed with the beat of music that erupted out of nowhere. The floor lit up beneath their feet.
“…Oh, come on,” Gojo muttered.
Takaba pointed dramatically. “DANCE BATTLE!!!”
Music blasted louder. Takaba immediately struck a pose. Gojo sighed slightly. “…You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He lifted a hand slightly— Cursed energy flickered— Then— It shifted again as it warped and changed. Gojo paused. “…Huh.”
He tried again. The energy twisted once more— Reshaping itself. Not into an attack. But into— Rhythm, Movement, and Beat. Gojo blinked. “…So that’s how it is.”
Takaba grinned. “You play by my rules here!”
Gojo rolled his shoulders slightly. “…Fine.”
He stepped forward. “…Let’s see what you’ve got.” The music dropped, the lights flashed and the battle— It was no longer about strength. But about something far more dangerous. Who— It was fun.
The disco lights spun wildly. Colors flashed—purple, blue, gold—reflecting off the polished floor as the music pulsed through the air like a heartbeat. The bass thumped loudly, shaking the very space around them. At the center of it all stood two figures. Where Fumihiko Takaba and Satoru Gojo had this challenge and it had begun for them.
“Alright!” Takaba shouted, pointing dramatically. “I’ll go first!”
The music shifted— A funky, upbeat rhythm kicked in. Takaba slid forward instantly, his feet gliding across the glowing floor as if it welcomed him. He spun once—twice—his body moving with exaggerated flair. “HA!”
He snapped his fingers— Spotlights locked onto him from every direction. Takaba leaned back impossibly far, his body bending like rubber before snapping forward into a rapid series of steps. His feet tapped in perfect rhythm, heels clicking sharply against the floor as sparks flew with each step.
“Check this out!”
He jumped— Midair, his body rotated in slow motion as confetti exploded around him. He landed in a split, then sprang back up effortlessly into a windmill spin that somehow defied physics. His arms flailed in ridiculous, comedic motions— But every movement worked. Every move landed perfectly on beat.
He moonwalked across the floor— Then suddenly ran in place, cartoonishly fast, before sliding to a stop with finger guns aimed at Gojo. “BAM!”
Fireworks burst behind him. The music hit a high note— Takaba struck a final pose, one leg raised, arms wide, grin massive. “Beat that!”
Gojo stood there for a second. “…Not bad.”
He stepped forward. “…My turn.”
The music changed again— It was smoother and of course, it was cooler. Gojo rolled his shoulders slightly. “…I don’t dance all the time but anything that I do is cooler.”
He took a step— And immediately slid into a flawless glide across the floor. “…Okay, that’s new.”
His body moved on its own— Or rather— The rhythm moved him. He spun effortlessly, his feet crossing in precise patterns as the lights bent toward him. His movements were cleaner than Takaba’s, more controlled—but still carried a strange, goofy edge. He attempted a spin— Overdid it slightly— And almost stumbled— Then turned it into a smooth recovery, snapping his fingers as if it had been intentional.
“…Yeah, I meant to do that.”
Takaba laughed. “Nice recovery!”
Gojo smirked. “Thanks.”
He leaned back, sliding across the floor again before launching into a series of exaggerated steps—half breakdance, half something completely ridiculous. At one point, he tried to moonwalk— But it turned into something more like a casual glide mixed with a comedic shuffle. “…This is harder than it looks.” Still— It worked. Because here— It had to work.
Then— The music changed again. It was becoming faster as the music was getting louder. More intense for the both of them. Takaba grinned. “Oh, we’re doing this together now?!”
Gojo cracked his neck slightly. “…Looks like it.”
They moved at the same time. Takaba spun forward— Gojo slid past him— Their movements intertwined, crossing paths as if choreographed. Takaba flipped— Gojo ducked beneath him— They spun in opposite directions before snapping back into sync. Lights beamed down on both of them.
The disco ball above shattered light across their bodies as the music reached another level. “HAHA—THIS IS AWESOME!!!” Takaba shouted.
“…I’ll admit,” Gojo said, mid-spin, “this is kind of fun.”
They clashed—not with fists— But with rhythm. Takaba brought chaotic, exaggerated energy. Gojo countered with controlled, fluid movement. At one point, they mirrored each other perfectly— Left step and right step. They were spinning as there was a snap. They moved like reflections— Then broke apart again, each trying to outdo the other.
Takaba slid across the floor on his knees— Gojo jumped over him, landing in a spin— Takaba grabbed his hand mid-motion, pulling him into a synchronized twirl. Neither stopped. Neither slowed down. The music roared. The lights intensified. It felt like the world itself revolved around their dance. Like nothing else existed. Like there was no end.
Meanwhile, back outside, the chaos continued to grow. Kento Nanami stood with his arms crossed, watching the sky. “…It’s not stopping.”
Beside him, Yu Haibara frowned slightly. “…It’s getting bigger…”
There were more animals and more effects. More impossible events stacking on top of each other. Even without the crowd nearby— It was still expanding. Yuji Itadori looked up, concerned about replacing his earlier excitement. “…Gojo-sensei’s still in there, right?”
“…Yes,” Hiromi Higuruma replied calmly. “But this is no longer a simple confrontation.”
Taking a closer look, especially when it was being podcasted, Junpei swallowed slightly. “…They’re not fighting.”
Nanami tilted his head in confusion. “They’re competing.” A distant burst of color exploded in the sky again. The effects were becoming more unstable, it was less structured and more chaotic.
Higuruma adjusted himself. “…The condition remains unchanged.”
Everyone looked at him. “The phenomenon will persist until the source—Takaba—chooses to stop… or shifts his perception.” Nanami said.
Yuji clenched his fists. “…So we’re just… waiting?”
“…For now,” Nanami said.
Haibara looked worried. “But what if it takes too long?”
Junpei spoke quietly. “…He doesn’t want to stop.” They all knew that. This was the first time Takaba felt accepted. The first time he felt funny. Why would he give that up?
Nanami exhaled slowly. “…Then we rely on Gojo.”
Yuji looked back up. “…He’ll win, right?”
Nanami didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he stared at the sky— At the growing chaos— In reality bending further and further out of control. “…He has to.”
Back inside the disco reality— The music reached its peak. Takaba and Gojo moved faster— Harder— Neither giving an inch. There was sweat, light, sound, and motion. Everything blurred together. Takaba laughed wildly. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!!”
Gojo smirked, spinning past him. “…You’re not bad.”
Takaba grinned. “I KNOW!”
They clashed again as their feet were hitting the floor in perfect sync. The music roared— The lights flashed— And neither of them showed any sign of stopping. Because in this battle— There was no strength. No technique. No shortcuts. Only one rule. Whoever was funnier— Would win.
The music didn’t stop. It evolved. What began as a dance battle inside the glowing disco space twisted into something bigger—louder, brighter, more theatrical. The lights dimmed for a moment— Then exploded into color. The disco ball above shattered into a thousand smaller ones, each spinning in perfect rhythm as the floor beneath them transformed into a massive stage.
And suddenly— There was an audience. Rows upon rows of silhouettes filled the darkness beyond the lights. They clapped, cheered, laughed—faces unclear, but reactions perfectly timed. Exactly how Fumihiko Takaba imagined they should be. “OH, WE GOT A CROWD NOW?!” Takaba shouted, grinning wide.
Across from him, Satoru Gojo rolled his shoulders, catching his breath mid-step. “…Of course we do.” The beat slowed— Then it shifted. A groove settled in. Showing that it was smooth and funky. And just like that— The dance battle became a sing-off.
Takaba pointed at Gojo dramatically.
“♪ YOU SHOWED UP OUTTA NOWHERE, THINKIN’ YOU’RE THE BEST~! ♪”
He spun, sliding across the stage as sparkles followed his every step.
“♪ BUT THIS IS MY WORLD, MY SHOW, MY TEST~! ♪”
He leaned forward, voice rising with energy.
“♪ I MAKE ‘EM LAUGH, I MAKE ‘EM CHEER—! ♪”
The fake audience roared on cue.
“♪ WITHOUT ME, THERE’S NOTHING HERE!!! ♪”
He struck a pose—
Fireworks exploded behind him in ridiculous shapes—smiling faces, dancing animals, even a giant version of himself giving a thumbs-up.
Gojo smirked. “…Not bad.”
The music shifted again— Smoother now and of course cooler, once again. He stepped forward— And as he did— His clothes changed. Gone were his usual outfits. Now, he wore sleek black pants, polished black dance shoes, and a loose, sky-blue button-up shirt that flowed with every movement. The top buttons were undone slightly, giving him a relaxed but striking look.
His hair slicked back effortlessly. Dark glasses appeared over his eyes. He adjusted them slightly— “…Guess we’re doing wardrobe changes now.”
Then—
He started singing.
“♪ YOU CALL THIS A SHOW? I’VE SEEN BETTER IN DREAMS~! ♪”
He slid forward, voice calm but confident.
“♪ YOUR JOKES ARE LOUD, BUT THEY’RE BURSTIN’ AT THE SEAMS~! ♪”
He spun once, snapping his fingers as the lights dimmed and refocused entirely on him.
“♪ YOU FORCE THE LAUGHS, YOU WRITE THE LINES—! ♪”
He pointed toward the audience.
“♪ BUT NONE OF THIS… IS REAL THIS TIME~! ♪”
The crowd gasped—exactly on cue.
Takaba’s grin twitched—
But only for a second.
Then it came back stronger.
“♪ REAL OR NOT, THEY’RE STILL HAVIN’ FUN~! ♪”
He jumped, flipping midair as confetti exploded beneath him.
“♪ AND I’M NOT DONE—NO, I JUST BEGUN~! ♪”
He landed perfectly, sliding backward across the stage.
“♪ YOU WANNA STOP ME? GO AHEAD, TRY—! ♪”
He pointed upward dramatically.
“♪ BUT I’LL KEEP ‘EM LAUGHIN’ ‘TIL THE DAY I DIE!!! ♪”
The audience erupted into laughter again.
Louder.
Stronger.
The stage shifted. Without warning— The disco floor melted into a grand theater. As there were velvet curtains that appeared. Golden balconies lined the walls. A live orchestra materialized below them, playing along with the beat as if they had always been there. The performance had scaled up.
Gojo glanced around briefly. “…You’ve got production value, I’ll give you that.”
Takaba laughed. “I KNOW, RIGHT?!” The music intensified. Now they moved together again— Dancing, Singing, and Competing.
Gojo stepped in close, voice lower but sharp.
“♪ YOU THINK THIS POWER MAKES YOU COMPLETE~? ♪”
He circled Takaba slowly.
“♪ BUT ALL I SEE IS A MAN IN DEFEAT~! ♪”
Takaba spun away, laughing as he countered.
“♪ DEFEAT?! I’M WINNING, CAN’T YOU SEE~? ♪”
He gestured wildly to everything around them.
“♪ THIS WHOLE WORLD’S ROOTING FOR ME!!! ♪”
The audience cheered, they laughed and clapped for them. Every reaction is perfectly timed. It was perfectly controlled. Gojo stopped for a moment. For just a second. Then— Gojo smiled at Takaba. Not mocking or dismissive. But understanding what type of tune this is.
He stepped forward again, voice softer this time.
“♪ IF THEY’RE YOUR WORLD, THEN TELL ME TRUE… ♪”
The lights dimmed slightly around him.
“♪ WOULD THEY STILL LAUGH… WITHOUT YOU? ♪”
For a brief moment— The rhythm faltered. Just slightly. Takaba blinked. “…Huh?”
Then—
The beat slammed back in.
Louder than ever.
Takaba shook it off instantly, laughing again.
“♪ DOESN’T MATTER, ‘CAUSE I’M STILL HERE~! ♪”
He spun wildly, pulling the energy back up.
“♪ AND I’LL KEEP ‘EM LAUGHIN’, LOUD AND CLEAR!!! ♪”
The stage shifted again. Now— They stood on top of a massive spinning platform high above the theater as there were lights that were flashing beneath them as the audience stretched endlessly into the distance. The performance had become something more. Something unstoppable.
Gojo adjusted his glasses slightly. “…You’re really going all out.”
Takaba grinned. “OF COURSE I AM!”
They clashed again— Dance steps colliding. There were voices overlapping. Movements syncing and breaking apart in rapid succession. Every step— Every lyric— Every reaction— Pushed the space further. Outside— Reality continued to warp. Inside— The performance refused to end.
Takaba laughed, breathless but exhilarated. “THIS IS PERFECT!!!”
Gojo smirked slightly. “…Yeah.”
He stepped forward again. “…It almost is.”
And as the music swelled once more around them. The battle continued between them. Not with fists in a battlefield. Not with power that they were fighting each other. But with something far more dangerous. The need— To be heard. To be seen. To be funny by everybody that bats an eye.
The music kept going. The lights kept flashing. The performance refused to end. On the ever-shifting stage, Fumihiko Takaba and Satoru Gojo continued their battle—dancing, singing, clashing in rhythm as the world bent further around them. But behind Gojo’s smile— His thoughts had sharpened.
This can’t keep going. Every second stretched the reality further. Every joke reinforced it. And even worse— The civilians outside were still laughing. Still trapped in that endless loop. If this keeps expanding… it won’t just be harmless. Gojo spun smoothly, dodging one of Takaba’s exaggerated dance moves, his voice steady despite the chaos.
“…Alright,” he said mid-performance.
Takaba paused slightly mid-spin. “Hm?”
Gojo adjusted his glasses. “I’ll play along with you.”
Takaba’s grin widened. “Ooooh?”
“But,” Gojo continued, his tone shifting just enough to carry weight, “you drop the act with the people.”
Takaba blinked. “…People?”
For a moment— He actually looked confused. Then— “Oh! Right!”
He laughed. “I almost forgot about them!”
Gojo’s smile didn’t change. But his eyes did. “…Yeah. That’s the problem.”
With a snap— Reality shifted once more. Suddenly— The stage expanded. The audience became clearer. And seated among them— Kento Nanami, Yu Haibara, Hiromi Higuruma, Yuji Itadori, and Junpei Yoshino all appeared— Sitting in theater chairs. “…What?” Yuji blinked, looking around. “When did we get here?!”
Junpei stiffened. “…We were just outside…”
Haibara looked amazed. “Whoa! This is kinda cool—!”
Nanami immediately stood. “Haibara no…This is not ideal.”
Haibara sighed. “Sorry…”
Higuruma looked around. “…We’ve been incorporated into his domain of influence.”
Gojo sighed quietly. ‘Not what I meant.’
Takaba clapped his hands excitedly. “Perfect! Now we’ve got a real audience!”
Gojo pinched the bridge of his nose slightly. “…Of course we do.”
Snap.
The entire space transformed again. There were bright lights and flashing signs. A loud jingle played as everything reshaped into a colorful stage with two long tables facing forward. A giant sign lit up above them: “TAKABA’S ULTIMATE LAUGH SHOW!!!”
Takaba appeared front and center— Now dressed in a flashy host outfit, complete with a sparkling jacket and oversized bowtie. “WELCOME, EVERYBODY!!!” Confetti cannons exploded.
Gojo, Nanami, and Haibara suddenly found themselves seated behind one table. Opposite them— Yuji, Junpei, and Higuruma sat at another. “…I don’t like this,” Nanami muttered.
Haibara raised his hand excitedly. “Do we win prizes?!”
“…That’s not the concern,” Nanami replied flatly.
Takaba pointed dramatically. “Today’s game is simple!”
A screen lit up behind him. “WELCOME TO—” “GUESS THAT NONSENSE!!!”
Takaba began pacing like a true host. “The rules are easy!” He pointed at both teams. “I ask a question… but the answer has to be the funniest possible thing you can think of!”
He spun. “If I laugh—you get points!” He pointed upward. “If I don’t… you LOSE points!”
Yuji leaned toward Junpei. “…This doesn’t sound fair.”
“…It’s not,” Junpei whispered back.
Takaba clapped. “LET’S START!”
A buzzer appeared in front of each team. “First question!” He pointed dramatically. “WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO EAT SOUP… WITHOUT USING YOUR HANDS?!”
Silence, Nanami stared blankly. “…With a spoon.”
BUZZ.
A loud “WRONG!!!” echoed.
“BORING!!!” Takaba shouted.
Nanami’s eyes twitched. “This is stupid.”
Haibara slammed the buzzer. “Use a straw shaped like a giraffe?!”
Takaba paused for a moment, then laughed. “OKAY THAT’S PRETTY GOOD!!!”
Points flashed on their side. Haibara pumped his fist. “YES!”
Nanami sighed. “Whatever…”
Yuji slammed his buzzer. “Turn into a vacuum cleaner and suck it up!”
Takaba burst out laughing. “HAHAHAHA—THAT’S AMAZING!!!”
More points for them, Yuji grinned. “Alright!”
The game continued— Faster. More ridiculous. “WHAT WOULD YOU NAME A DOG THAT THINKS IT’S A BANANA?!”
“Peel Pup!” — Haibara
“Sir Banana the Third!” — Yuji
“…” — Nanami, who refused to answer.
“WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU WEAR SHOES ON YOUR HANDS?!”
“You walk backwards into another dimension!” — Junpei
“You become… legally confusing.” — Higuruma
Takaba laughed harder at Higuruma’s answer. “…WHY DOES THAT WORK?!”
The points climbed. The chaos grew. And somehow— They were playing along. Eventually— Takaba clapped again. “FINAL ROUND!!!”
Lights dimmed dramatically. “Highest score goes to…” He pointed. “HIGURUMA!!!”
Everyone turned, confused, especially Yuji and Haibara since they were throwing hard balls left and right. Higuruma blinked. “…What?”
Takaba chuckled. “I liked that joke that you made especially since you seem like the Law Type.” He played with Higuruma’s tie before walking away.
POOF.
His outfit changed instantly. He now wore a baby costume. A bib and a pacifier. “…No.” A crayon appeared in his hand. “…Absolutely not.”
Takaba pointed. “DRAW SOMETHING! THEY HAVE TO GUESS IT!!!”
Higuruma stared at the board. Then at the crayon. Then at Takaba. “…This is beneath me.”
“START DRAWING!!!”
Reluctantly— He began. It was slow and stiff. The drawing was terrible. Yuji squinted. “…Is that a dog?”
“No.”
Junpei tilted his head. “…A tree?”
“No.”
Haibara leaned forward. “Is it… a crying potato?”
“…No.”
Higuruma’s expression darkened. The pacifier squeaked as he clenched it slightly. “…You’re all incompetent.” His drawing got worse. Lines overlapped. Nothing made sense.
Nanami adjusted his glasses. “…This is painful to watch.”
“TIME’S UP!!!” Takaba shouted.
Everyone froze in place, Takaba looked at the board. Then grinned. “IT WAS A FLYING COURTROOM EATING SPAGHETTI!!!”
Silence, taking a look at the drawing was terrible indeed. “…Of course it was,” Gojo muttered.
Takaba laughed. “AND YOUR DRAWING WAS TERRIBLE!!!”
Higuruma’s eye twitched. The crayon snapped in his hand. “…I despise this.”
The game show lights dimmed slightly as Takaba moved on, still energized. But at the tables— The group leaned closer together. Nanami spoke first. “…This confirms it.”
Higuruma nodded. “He has complete control over the environment.”
Junpei added quietly, “…And the rules.”
Yuji frowned. “So how do we beat that?”
Gojo leaned back slightly, arms resting casually. “…Everyone has a weakness.”
Yuji blinked. “Not you.”
Gojo smiled slightly. “…Even me.”
That shut him up.
Nanami looked up toward Takaba. “…Then his weakness must be tied to his ability.”
Higuruma adjusted his glasses. “…His perception.”
Junpei nodded slowly. “…What he thinks is funny…”
Haibara tilted his head. “…So we just… change what he thinks is funny?”
Gojo’s smile returned, it was sharp and thoughtful. “…Exactly.”
He glanced up at Takaba. “…We don’t fight him.”
There was a long pause. “…We rewrite the joke.” Above them. Takaba laughed loudly, preparing for the next round. Unaware— That the real game had just begun.