Archive of Our Own

Peaceful mornings are still an unusual experience after a long era of fighting and terror. Today, Yuji is 'stationed' in the kitchen with an apron tied around his waist, making his signature chicken meatballs. Nobara is on a mission and he knows she will be famished by the time she returns. Since he has nothing except training on his schedule, he decides to do her the favor despite not being asked to cook anything. Being in Nobara's good graces is always an advantage. Her wrath must never be underestimated.

Soft padded footsteps approach and Yuji recognises the gait, hears how the feet slide across the flooring ever so slightly. So he doesn't jump, and doesn't disturb the person approaching either. Because said one is rather skittish, and not exactly a morning person.

"Morning." Megumi's rumbling voice is close to his flank.

"Morning, Fushiguro!" Yuji smiles and glances at him briefly. "Kugisaki left you some coffee." He points to the carafe on the counter. He hopes it's still a little warm. She left quite a while ago.

"Mhm." Megumi walks past him, pouring himself a cup. Black, no sugar or milk. Yuji doesn't need to watch to know.

"Are you cooking lunch?" Megumi asks a few minutes later, in the midst of Yuji gathering everything to make the meatballs. He balances several spices in his palms, nearly dropping one as he sets them next to a large mixing bowl. "Mhm. Kugisaki is usually super hungry after missions, so might as well."

"Is this your way of apologising for eating her last pudding?" Megumi asks, amused. He leans against the fridge, coffee cup in both his hands. The sight is familiar to this new era of lesser fears and worries. A blue sweater, black sweatpants, socks and slippers. A closet staple of Megumi Fushiguro.

Yuji's whines. "Could you not remind me? I almost forgot about that." Nobara had chased him all over the school grounds for it.

"Could you use my help?" Megumi asks then, fingers tapping against the lukewarm white ceramic in his palms.

"That'd be great. If you can chop the veggies you'd speed this up a lot."

"My knife skills are not great." Megumi warns.

"That's fine. It doesn't need to be the prettiest thing, it just needs to taste good." Yuji waves a playfully dismissive hand in his direction as he seasons the meat.

Megumi sets his cup down and walks to where the knives and cutting boards are kept. The bundle of carrots, green onions and mushrooms are already washed and waiting by Yuji's side.

"Behind you."

A gentle hand, tracing his lower back as Megumi passes behind him.

Woah.

Yuji's stomach suddenly feels fuzzy.

Did he eat something funny? Maybe he shouldn't have gambled on those leftovers from yesterday still being good. He really doesn't want to have food poisoning. That should stay a once-in-a-lifetime event for him.

"You okay?" Megumi is eyeing him with a frown, pausing the prepping of the carrots.

Yuji's hands have completely squashed the meatball he was forming.

"I'm great!" Yuji's voice runs an octave higher than before and his face is on fire from embarrassment. "I think I just ate something bad." Why is he suddenly so nervous?

"I told you to just throw stuff out if you're not sure." Megumi scolds him, but turns his focus back to the chopping board.

"I don't like wasting food." Yuji mumbles, looking at the mess of mince now splattered in the bowl. What a mess.

"I know."

The fluttering feeling doesn't cease but it eases as he busies his hands. He doesn't feel nauseous, doesn't feel like throwing up. Just feels giddy. Is he this happy because Megumi is cooking with him? Maybe he really isn't used to the casual life after everything. His eyebrows knit together in thought.

He decides to consult someone else on the matter. And because Nobara would make him feel like an idiot for asking - despite him being off the thin ice after cooking lunch - and Megumi doesn't strike him as the type to get into feelings so casually, he wants to find someone like Yuta. He's good with feelings. And he went through a lot as well. Maybe he understands why Yuji feels the way he does. Maybe he can even aid him in readjusting to everything.

"Why are you asking me?" Yuta tilts his head to the side, leaning back on his hands. Yuji was able to catch him post-mission with Inumaki. The latter sits next to Yuta with a watchful eye glancing back and forth between them. "It's pretty obvious that you have a crush on this person."

Yuji's mouth goes dry, his cheeks light aflame. He slaps his palms over them. No, that can't be it. That wasn't even the point of his question! He was just asking why he felt so happy and nervous all of the sudden.

"C-couldn't it be something else? This is just- It's really sudden, and I don't know how to-"

Yuta laughs, but not mockingly so. "Well, it might be because you finally get to relax for once. We've had it really stressful, your brain gets to prioritise other things now." His laughter turns into a soft, sympathetic smile. "Is it that bad?"

"No. No, he's great, it's just... I don't like how stupid I get-" Yuji clears his throat, realizing that he let something slip. He. Oops.

"Salmon Roe." Inumaki is grinning.

"Ohh! Yeah that makes sense." Yuta nods at Inumaki's response. How he can understand him fluently is beyond Yuji still. "I can see it."

Yuji looks away, pressing a sweaty palm over his face. Is this all because of a crush? How embarrassing, that they're able to see it so easily.

"You're crushing on Fushiguro, aren't you?"

Yuji presses air between his lips, rubbing at his jawline incessantly. He needs to act cool. Not give himself away.

"Noooo. Haha, what? Who's Fushiguro?" Yuji presses his lips together and shuts his eyes. Wow, he really is terrible at lying.

"Tuna Tuna!"

"Don't be mean." Yuji can hear Yuta bite back a smile, while Inumaki is poorly stifling his laughter.

"Okay. Maybe I am." Yuji's expression turns melancholic, his eyes cast downwards. He rubs at his arms self-consciously. Can this really happen? So suddenly? If Yuta and Inumaki can guess it instantly, does Megumi know?

"Hey, it's alright." Yuta gets up, lifting his open palms in a motion of 'calm down'. "You don't have to have a solution right now. You can..."

"Let it stay this way?" Yuji doesn't like how bitter that feels in his mouth. That doesn't feel right.

"For a little while? Until you figure out how to tell him." Yuta shrugs, since he doesn't know either what Yuji's best choice is right now. He can only offer a possible solution. "I'm not an expert."

"Do I? Tell him, I mean." Yuji can't hide the doubt.

Yuta's expression turns into a displeased one. He looks empathetic, sad. "I think you should. I don't know Fushiguro all that well, but I think he'd want to know."

"Salmon." Yuji knows an affirming answer when he hears one. He thanks them both and jogs off with a heavy heart.

The conversation overall leaves Yuji with a lot more uncertainty than he had coming into it.

He has a crush. It sounds ridiculous. It is so sudden. He could've sworn last week he never felt this way around Megumi.

But...

Maybe Yuta is right, Yuji realises gravely as he lies down on his futon, legs stretched out upwards against the wall. After all the stress of being a vessel, the fighting, the deaths, the murders... Yuji can focus on himself more. Feel more like himself. Feel like his body, his thoughts and actions alike belong to him again.

This now results in the whiplash.

Like pulling at a rubber band and finally letting it snap forward to shoot through the air. Like someone wore down the fuse of a firework and then finally set a match to it once it was merely the length of a thumb.

Like a snowball, rolling down a snowy hill, an avalanche.

Like-

There were countless comparisons. The basis of the situation is that Yuji has caught feelings fast. Or he has had them to begin with, but they've been drowned out by the traumatic happenstance present in Yuji's life. The common denominator is that Yuji has no idea how to handle such feelings. They have the subtlety of a baseball to the face and he has no protective gear on.

And it's, again, not that Yuji would mind these feelings. He kind of gets why his heart chose what it chose. Falling in love with Megumi doesn't seem all that surprising when he thinks longer about it. What Megumi has given him, what he has given Megumi. What they lived through together. They are bonded together, one way or another.

What bothers Yuji is that he will absolutely make a fool of himself if he doesn't get to tone this all down at least a little. He'd give himself away immediately, as Megumi is a keen observer. And that is exactly the last thing he wants to do in front of Megumi.

He has made a fool of himself plenty. But now the stakes are different. Now the objective is not only to make Megumi laugh as always, but to also seem... Attractive? Approachable?

Dateable.

When he sees the new sequel to the Human Earthworm saga he is immediately certain that he will watch it. He looks up trailers and takes pictures of the movie posters he - seldom - sees. The romance has always been integral to the true philosophical nature of the series - if you look past the plotholes and terrible acting at parts. And yes, it really is that meaningful at its core. But now, they've seemed to have really dialed it up. How ironic.

He doesn't know how, even when he did buy three tickets in advance, he would be able to convince Megumi and Nobara to watch it with him. But he did.

"That was terrible. Even if I was invested in the romance, the whole misunderstanding trope is so blegh." Nobara scrunches up her nose.

"Are you serious? How can you say that? The apology was so good!" Yuji has his head fully turned to her, too busy rambling passionately against her point to realise that he's approaching the pole of a streetlight head-on.

Nobara, biting back giggles after seeing the impending embarrassment, doesn't say a thing.

Megumi, who has mentally resigned from this conversation three minutes ago, doesn't either.

At first.

Yuji feels a hand on his right hipbone before he's jerked to the side, colliding with Megumi as the other pulls him out of the way. He nearly stumbles, but Megumi holds him tight and prevents such.

"Whuh?" Yuji makes a - quite honestly stupid - noise.

"Watch where you're going, idiot." Megumi huffs, irritated, glaring at Yuji. His hand is still on Yuji's waist, gripping. Lithe fingers dig into Yuji's hoodie.

Yuji, who realises what just occurred as they walk past the obvious obstacle, blushes furiously. "Oh, sorry Fushiguro!" He grins. "Thank you."

Megumi nips at the straw of his still unfinished drink, his hand sliding across Yuji's lower back and letting the other go. "Whatever."

Meanwhile, Yuji's brain is in full-shutdown. What was previously a rapidfire of arguments and counters regarding Nobara's criticism was now an absolute chaos of how Megumi's touch felt, that Megumi saved him from year-long humiliation by Nobara and how Megumi literally grabbed his waist.

The guy who never went in for hugs.

Pulling Yuji in by his waist.

But also how humiliating is that! The streetlight couldn't be more in his line of sight. He's doing a terrible job at not embarrassing himself, dear god.

Yuji wants to smack the blush off his cheeks, willfully ignoring Nobara's shit-eating grin to his far left as she looks at him past Megumi.

"Human Earthworm is a terrible boyfriend. She could do a lot better." Nobara gets them back on track.

Megumi groans quietly, as Yuji starts again with a furious look on his face. How dare she, really!

In the aftermath Yuji only feels more frustrated than ever about the endeavor. He questions his choices in taking Megumi to the movie in the first place, and wonders if something like getting extra butter with your popcorn and eating something sweet simultaneously disqualifies him from the dating scene entirely. Nobara certainly looked disgusted, even if she's not who Yuji is concerned about.

He technically knows how to be cool! Someone like Gojo, in his mind, who exudes confidence and is witty and funny in his replies. But Yuji thinks he himself isn't capable of being as charming. Gojo poses once again as an impossible standard. And Megumi grew up with him, so his bar must be insanely high for coolness.

He avoids Megumi, or tries to. He really tries! It's just hard to stay away. When they're not busy with missions or training, is he really supposed to not talk to him? Play hard to get? That tactic just makes Yuji upset and lonely.

So he tries for 'the usual'. Do what he routinely does, goofing off when he finds it to be funny. He really can't pretend to be something he's not.

Staying up this late to wait for Megumi to return from a mission is not in his playbook of 'the usual', however. And Yuji has debated no less than seven times if he should go to bed instead. But here he is, idly stirring in a pot atop a cooling stove, making sure the food he prepared stays warm. It's been that way for at least half an hour. He's not even sure it's lukewarm anymore.

He takes a quick break to go to the bathroom, and returns to find a slumped over Megumi slowly sinking into a seat at the dinner table.

Megumi groans, flopping down against the table, his forehead hitting the wood. It can't be good for the grain nor the bone, Yuji thinks.

"Fushiguro?"

"Mmh." Megumi answers, only startles slightly which is visible in his shoulders drawing together.

"I made dinner. Do you want some?"

Megumi lifts his head, looking exhausted. There are scratches and grime on his clothes and face. And besides the scrunched up muscles in his expression, Yuji can see how his eyes widen just a fraction in relief.

"You did?"

Yuji nods. "I was a bit bored. I'll eat with you, if you don't mind."

"Why haven't you eaten yet? It's 1am." Megumi responds gruffly, getting up from the table to look at the pots and pans on the now completely cooled down stove.

"I thought you'd be back sooner." Yuji smiles and rubs the back of his neck. Acts of service are sort of his thing, so this gesture can qualify as casual. Right?

Megumi looks bewildered, maybe a bit angry. "You shouldn't wait for me to eat. Especially if I take this long."

Yuji shrugs. "I don't mind."

Megumi pinches the bridge of his nose, the other hand on his hip. "Of course you'd say that."

Yuji shoos him with a hand motion. "Let me warm up a portion. Shoo."

"You shoo. At least let me set the table." Megumi grunts and Yuji pokes him in his side. "Fushigurooo, just let me do it. Make yourself some tea or something."

The idea seems to be a good one, because Megumi stops protesting and grabs the kettle instead. Yuji silently celebrates his victory by smiling widely as he fixes up two meals.

Megumi sits down again. When Yuji brings their portions over he notices that there are two mugs.

"Is this one for me?" He asks once the bowls are set down, pointing to a red mug.

"Obviously." Megumi mumbles, though there's a pink in his cheeks. "If you don't mind camomile."

Yuji hums and nods. "Thank you." He sits down, getting ready to eat. Megumi mumbles a 'thank you for this meal' before he takes a bite as well.

Gyudon. Yuji felt like something simple. Casual. As he always is, and always has been.

Megumi looks confused as he stares at the bowl, which prompts Yuji to speak up. Uh oh.

"You okay?"

"You added ginger." There is a pile of the familiar red stripes of beni shoga at the top of their portions. A bit more on Megumi's than Yuji's.

"Oh. Yeah, yeah I did." Yuji feels more relieved than he'd like to admit. Here he thought Megumi was about to announce that he has been a vegetarian all along and Yuji foolishly forgot. That might as well have been the case with how Yuji's luck has been.

"I thought we ran out?"

"I bought some on my way back from my mission yesterday. Since you always add it, I figured I might as well get some." Yuji explains. He wasn't sure if what he added was enough. He has watched Megumi add it to his food before, but the amount varied from dish to dish.

Megumi has an expression that is difficult to read. He looks grateful, perhaps, but is too tired for it to properly show. He still hasn't taken a bite and Yuji's leg bounces nervously under the table because of it. Did he forget salt? Did he add sugar instead?

Megumi then looks at Yuji's bowl. "Don't you hate ginger?"

"Ehhh..." Yuji sways his head from side to side. So-so. "I used to. Gramps forcefed me ginger whenever I got sick. Not that it didn't work, but I used to associate it with that so I didn't like it. But now... I don't know, it's kind of growing on me."

There's a weird twist to Megumi's facial features now as he seems to realise something. "Sorry. I'm being an asshole."

"Fushiguro it's totally fi-"

"Thank you." Megumi cuts him off, which shuts Yuji up effectively. "... For cooking. And waiting for me. And... Buying more ginger even though I haven't even asked. It's very thoughtful of you." His voice is earnest, more energised than before. He makes an effort to show how grateful he is.

Yikes, did it suddenly get hot in this room? Yuji could've sworn he really needed the shirt and hoodie inside tonight. Maybe Megumi has a way of making things burn by holding eye contact with them.

Yuji doesn't respond, which makes Megumi look up. "What?"

"S...Sorry, it's just you saying 'thank you' sounds weird." Wow, Yuji, what a compliment!

"I say thank you." Megumi protests. He digs into the food, humming in content. He may rarely say how good it is, but the way his eyes gleam and his appetite is much larger than usual tells Yuji everything he needs to know. Thank god the food is good.

"Not like that. You sounded so earnest." Yuji laughs. "But I could get used to it. Maybe people will stop calling you a sea urchin when you're not so prickly anymore."

"I don't plan on it." Megumi mutters.

"Reserving those for me, then?" Yuji can't stop the words from falling out. It's so cheesy even he feels second-hand embarrassment.

Megumi huffs, and there's a smile at the left corner of his lips. It's not even fleeting, an actual smile. Yuji blinks, laughs in response. Too far. Man, he's an idiot!

"That sounded less weird in my head." He clarifies, flushed.

"Maybe." Megumi tells him. "If you keep cooking meals like this, that is. Because they are really good. Though I'm sure you know that."

Yuji feels something in his chest crack open like an egg hatching. Ugh. If only gramps could be here to knock some sense into him. Megumi is complimenting his cooking and he has to stop himself from preening.

"Wait, 'sea urchin'?" Megumi then realises.

Yuji, in lieu of an answer as he is chewing, points to his own hair.

"My hair? Seriously?" He groans and Yuji laughs, covering his full mouth with his hand.

Later down the week, it's a terribly hot day outside. But close combat practice waits for no one. Yuji resorts to shorts and a tanktop only, in an attempt to combat his roaring body heat. Who would've thought that the one thing to rival the literal sun in terms of excessive body heat being bestowed upon Yuji would be Megumi Fushiguro.

And it's not really as necessary to battle each other, in Yuji's opinion. Their senses all stay sharp due to the missions. On the other hand, it can pass the time usefully and can be very entertaining to watch. Especially given how differently they fight without weapons at their disposal. Like today, where sticks or wooden swords are disregarded.

Nobara flops down to the grass with a groan, having been beaten once again by Maki. She's gotten a lot better at her depth perception, which Yuji gives her a lot of credit for. Most people probably underestimate how much the loss of an eye can do.

"Fushiguro!" Yuta greets brightly. Yuji is convinced he has Rika giving him invisible shade because he has yet to break a sweat. Meanwhile Yuji feels like he fell into a pool.

Megumi greets him with a subtle salute, carrying water bottles. He passes them around.

"Are you joining us for training?" Yuta asks Megumi with a smile, thanking him for the water.

"You must all have a death wish to train in this heat." He retorts.

"Well, at least our senses won't dull over time. Are you even fit for missions anymore?" Nobara snickers at Maki's joking but harsh tease. Maki easily catches the water bottle that gets punted at her.

"I am joining." Megumi snaps at her. "You're welcome for the water, by the way."

"The oh so gracious. I shall forever remain in your debt." Maki croons from her spot. "Wanna fight me first?"

"Gladly."

Megumi's jaw is set as he takes off his uniform jacket, exposing a tank top beneath. Yuji traces the lines of his arms as he stretches them above his head with a grunt. 'Moles', is all Yuji's brain is occupied with for a second.

The grass is suddenly rivaling Megumi in 'things that are interesting to look at'.

"Hey, hey, you're all warmed up, Maki. Isn't that a little unfair?" Yuta asks, well aware that he's not going to stop either of them. He knows better.

"Don't worry. I'll go easy on him."

"Don't." Megumi glares at her. "This is training. There's no point if you're half-assing it." He stands in front of her, rolling his shoulders back and getting into position.

"That's what I like to hear." Maki grins.

Watching them fight is satisfying. Their speed is astounding and their analytical skills don't slow down either in a fight like this. Most of the opposing hits get countered immediately or at the very least blocked. Yuji is impressed that Megumi doesn't flinch, since Maki's almost explosive power is scary. And she doesn't seem to be holding back much.

Maki kicks Megumi back at one point, eyebrows drawn together. "You've lost your edge." She teases, aiming to throw him off.

"Don't even." Megumi charges again, but she throws him to the ground after he leaves himself open for the first time. With a loud grunt he hits the ground, Yuji hissing at the visual. Again, Maki's punches are no joke.

But Megumi doesn't give up. He grabs her arm and kicks upwards, making her flip and - if successful - planting her on her back.

But she digs her feet in the grass after Megumi lets her go too soon. She's back up in no time, with Megumi still vulnerable.

Megumi slides sideways to avoid her foot on his chest, crouching as he moves backwards. He stays in a squat, feet circling and moving swiftly to get out of her range before he stands up.

His stamina is taking a hit, doing this. As they fight again he throws less cleaner dodges, tanking a few of Maki's nasty punches and kicks. She ends up winning, having pushed Megumi to the ground once again as he loses his footing.

"Not bad. Compared to your usual performance, I mean." She holds out a hand to shake and Megumi obliges, letting her pull him up. He dusts himself off, wiping sweat from his forehead as he walks over to Yuji.

"It's way too hot." He mumbles, unscrewing a water bottle to chug a quarter of it. Not that Yuji is looking at that, since he's moreso watching Megumi's throat work.

"You did really well! Maki is insanely fast." Yuji praises him.

"And hard to read. I can never get a full prediction on what she'll do." He pulls his knees up, watching as Maki takes a brief break as well.

"Mhm." Yuji nods in agreement.

Yuta and Maki are next for a rematch, and if their last battle is - according to Nobara apparently - anything to go by they'll take a while. "Wanna fight me next?" Yuji suggests.

"You must be joking." Megumi downs a few more gulps of water.

"Why not?"

"And get my ass handed to me twice?" Megumi shakes his head. "No thank you."

"You make it sound like you're so much worse than me."

"In hand-to-hand combat? Itadori, even if I suddenly doubled my skill I wouldn't hold a candle to your stamina." He retorts, sounding absolutely sure.

"Come on, just for fun? this is supposed to be fun." Yuji coos, leans in a little.

Megumi's eye twitches. "If you hold back the whole time-"

"I wouldn't do that to you." Yuji nudges him. "I won't hold back. Promise."

"Damnit!" Megumi hisses as Yuji pins him to the ground. A heated palm on his nape, the other pinning his right arm behind his back. Yuji watches as he struggles, digging his knees into the dirt. He watches the puffs of his breath, the beading sweat on his temple. Those green eyes, glaring daggers from their corners right at Yuji.

His stomach flips. What was he even thinking? This much physical contact can't be good for his pining heart.

He feels like a creep, because they're supposed to be fighting right now, but all the points of himself that touch Megumi feel like they're under static.

Megumi bucks his hips back into his, effective enough in its pain that Yuji rolls off. Megumi frees himself and grabs Yuji's hands into his, pressing them into the ground.

Once again, Yuji struggles to focus on the right thing.

Megumi's hands are longer, that much is true. But in the broad meat of Yuji's palms, they sink in and are much slimmer. Yuji feels Megumi's eagerness in the way he digs his fingertips into his knuckles, the way his forearms flex and retract when he pushes and grabs tighter. Megumi kneels atop his hipbones, his ankles pinning Yuji's thighs.

Megumi huffs, panting breaths leaving his nose. His mouth is pulled into a snarl. Yuji swears a drop of sweat hits him on his forehead. But he doesn't say a thing. All he feels are sparks of joy all over. He can't concentrate.

"C'mon." Megumi grunts, edging on frustrated. He's expecting Yuji to turn the tables again, must feel like Yuji is holding out on him. He knows Yuji will be able to throw him off. Yuji is easily able to bench press Megumi's body weight. "Giving up? We barely even got started." He speaks, loud enough for everyone to hear. But then, quietly, he adds for just Yuji's ears: "Stay focused." A reminder, spoken bluntly. "I can tell you're distracted."

"R-right." Yuji chokes out. Underestimating his strength somehow, he flips Megumi on his back again, harsher than he means to.

Except he lands on nothing. Megumi vanishes beneath him.

"What-" He sits back up on his knees, only to be pulled back by an arm around his neck. A chokehold. Megumi's arms and legs wrap around him, making him stagger backwards and fall.

He grunts, too taken aback to take himself out of the hold. He finally taps out before he loses consciousness. Panting and coughing as he lies on his back, atop Megumi.

"Cheater! No techniques."

Right. The whole shadow thing.

"No weapons." Megumi corrects Nobara's heckle, pulling himself out from under Yuji. "You okay?"

"Yup." Yuji looks up at him, smiling dazedly. They're both sweating a lot now.

Is he getting a heatstroke?

No.

He's just really happy.

Yuji sits up, dusting himself off. He considers it a fair win. Technically he has an 'ability' advantage as well, with his physical prowess. It was a loophole that Megumi used very well. "Sneaky, using the shadows to beat me."

"It was my only choice." Megumi shrugs. "Once you'd have me pinned I wouldn't be able to do much." He crosses his arms over his head, wiping sweat from his brow. Yuji tries to not oggle, though the pale skin seems extra radiant under the unrelenting sun. The jagged pinks of scars stretch over his arms. Megumi doesn't wear short sleeves often, nevermind tanktops.

It feels almost scandalous to look at.

The sight of Megumi above him, his muscular arms on full display, haunts Yuji for a few nights. And recently, it has been his only solace.

See, missions come and go. Sometimes there are terrible weeks that have Yuji exhausted and sleeping unshowered on the floor, and sometimes he can complete chores between them with how quickly he manages them.

And now, he has now gone from a very relaxed week to a week that has him scratching together his last bits of sanity.

And of course, he has been assigned to an especially grueling one by himself. As he approaches school grounds, he feels dazed.

"Have you seen him?"

"Calm down, Fushiguro. I'm sure he's just out for a walk or something after finishing up." A pause. "He needs to clear his head too sometimes."

"... Right."

"I'm sure he's fine. Probably forgot to check his phone."

Yuji hears muffled talking as he approaches the front door. Megumi startles when said door opens and Yuji, reduced to a dark figure, steps in. A deep sigh is all Megumi needs to recognise Yuji. Nobara has seemingly disappeared, most likely off to bed after consoling Megumi.

"Yuji." Yuji finally looks at Megumi's face, which is pale with worry.

"Oh, Hey..." Yuji trails off. The sight is rather unnerving. Even now, Megumi isn't standing still, shifting his weight and pulling at loose ends of his cuticles. "Fushiguro." He ends his sentence, mustering the very dishevelled looking man. He isn't quite sure why Megumi is this horrified. It's not like Yuji is missing an arm or anything. He came out relatively unscathed all things considered.

"You're both still up?" It must be late with how dark it is. Yuji has lost track of all time today.

"You didn't respond to my texts. Wasn't sure what you were up to." Megumi explains, doesn't know how to not sound pissed. He's shaky. Unstable. Picking at his hands. Threatening to sink into his own shadow.

Yuji feels bad, but his tone lacks the empathy he desires on account of him being drained of all energy. He takes off his shoes. "Oh. Yeah that's my bad. I'm sorry. My phone ran out of power and I didn't have a charger with me." Yuji has now taken off his jacket, standing there in short workout gear. Not a scratch on him. Well, a scratch on his sanity perhaps.

There's a momentary pause, one where Megumi seems to realise how visibly vulnerable he is right now. One where Yuji sees his tears before the other blinks them away.

"... Is everything okay? Did something happen while I was gone?" Yuji goes from partly confused to even more concerned.

"No, it's... I should go to bed." The shaking won't stop, the crying won't either. Megumi squeezes his eyes shut when Yuji grabs his wrist.

"Megumi."

Megumi chokes. Swallows. Can't seem to catch his breath.

"You're clearly not okay."

"This is stupid." Megumi whispers but Yuji hears it. Catches it, carries it gently.

"It's not. Did I scare you?"

"Please stop talking." Megumi begs, weakly pulling at Yuji's grip. "This is pathetic of me." He adds and Yuji huffs.

"Answer my question, please." His voice becomes harsher. A blunt force.

"I..."' Megumi turns his body further away from Yuji, his arm still attached to the other via a firm grip. "Yes, fine, I got scared. But you're okay now, so I don't get why..." He groans, pulling swiftly enough that his wrist slips out of Yuji's grasp. "Why am I so terrified, I don't get it." He's mumbling again, and the tears slowly cease.

"You might be having a panic attack." Yuji tries to tell him, but Megumi is stepping away.

"Let me-"

"I will handle it. Go get some rest." Megumi insists, wiping at his eyes and sniffling once. It doesn't erase what Yuji just saw.

And Yuji feels his resolution crack. How trying to lie to Megumi in any capacity or refrain from seeking him is now plain ridiculous. "No."

Megumi glares at him. It doesn't make Yuji back down. If anything, it eggs him on.

"Let me help you. I can help." He speaks harshly, blunt once again.

"This will go away." Megumi lies.

"It doesn't." Yuji steps closer, grabs Megumi's wrist again. "I get it. You don't want my help. You don't want to be helped. You're getting my help anyway, because you need it."

Megumi's chest rises and falls in quick succession.

Megumi closes his eyes for a long breath and then opens them.

"...The thought of you dying on your mission scared me. That's all."

"I'm here." Yuji reassures him. It's easy, giving Megumi everything he needs. His exhaustion is so easy to cast aside. "Barely a scratch on me. Just tired."

"Don't encourage this. My brain shouldn't latch onto you, just-" Megumi's eyes fail to have bite, just like his words. Yuji can tell that it is easing his mind to hear him speak.

"Why not?"

"Because if you let it happen, I will never want you to leave again." Megumi cringes after saying those words, letting out a pained quick sigh. "A good person like you shouldn't be forced to take care of a person like me. You're clearly exhausted, and should get some rest. This isn't about me."

"That is not your call to make." Yuji says, lets the frustration sit presently in those words. "No one can judge us except for us. No one has lived through our reality. It was you who said that." His hands slip down to hold Megumi's, his grip gentler than his tone. "You don't get to decide what I should or shouldn't do for you. And why do you decide that you're bad and I'm good? Why isn't it the opposite?" Yuji shakes his head. He knows he's rambling practical nonsense. It must only make sense to him right now. "I... You... We've lost so many people. I know that I'm scared of losing any more. And I can tell that you are too. And that's okay." Megumi looks at him, very briefly.

"I will help you, because I want to. But... I can't do anything truly useful if you won't let yourself be helped. If you shut me out." Yuji explains. "Don't let me lose you. Please."

Megumi nods and Yuji slowly lets go of him. Megumi doesn't run away, stays. "I'll try."

Yuji smiles softly. "That's all I need."

Megumi hesitates, but then steps into Yuji's space.

And then hugs him.

Yuji accepts him happily, sighing in content when Megumi sinks into him entirely. He squeezes him around his waist, presses his face into the shoulder of the other. Suddenly the mission was all worth it.

Megumi's arms are a bit all over the place and it makes Yuji chuckle next to his ear.

"You're so bad at hugging, Fushiguro."

"Shut up."

Yuji leads the other's hands to his waist, letting Megumi hug him there. Megumi relaxes more, his warm breath on Yuji's collarbone.

"Goodnight, Yuji." They part sooner than Yuji would like, and his exhaustion hits him again like a truck. "Sorry, again."

Yuji smiles, doesn't acknowledge the unneeded apology. "Goodnight, Megumi."

The next few nights are... Rough. To say the least. Something about the mission seems to have triggered a vacant sore spot in Yuji's mind. Though he really can't put his finger on it, he isn't exactly looking for the exact reason for his predicament. He just wants a solution.

And as the sleep he gets turns shorter and shorter, so does Yuji's ability to keep himself content. Comforted.

He slips. One particularly bad night with tossing and turning, Yuji finds himself pacing his room, hands interlocked so tightly he threatens to cut off circulation. He has covered the mirror in his room, past visions haunting his perception. He sees the pair of eyes under his own in his reflection, the mouth in the palm of his hand. He rubs at his wrists incessantly where he swears the shackles of dark ink are present. He bites his nails down in a shaky hurry, wearing half of them down painfully low. None of it helps.

He's sure of it, Sukuna has returned. Somehow, he has found a way. The stumps of Yuji's left ring and pinky finger prove nothing.

Yuji wipes his sweaty palms against his sleep shirt, knowing that it is staining blood coating his hands. He doesn't need to look. The iron smell is enough.

The sound of a door opening has him gripping his ribs painfully hard. These hands are not his own, he can't trust them to not hurt anyone.

Megumi.

"Itadori."

"Stay back." Yuji steps back, hands still on his body. He can feel Sukuna's energy, and can feel his laughter ring back in his ears.

'I'll hurt him. And there's nothing you can do.' A mocking voice haunts him.

Megumi stays, but doesn't step back. Why won't he get away? He can feel Sukuna's presence, can he not?

"He's gone, Itadori." Megumi tells him, Yuji biting down on his teeth, grinding them. "Sukuna's gone."

"No, he isn't. I can feel him." Yuji insists, his sides screaming in pain at the grip he has on them. Yet it's the only way he can feel like he's in control. He's afraid that any moment now, Sukuna's presence will swallow him, until all sensation fizzes out and he wakes up to a massacre before him. To a mangled corpse he can't recognise. Just like back then.

Shibuya. All those people that he killed.

"I know you can." Stubborn. Unmoving. Always a blessing. Yuji wants to hate him for it.

"Fushiguro, please." Yuji wheezes softly. He's positive he's crying. "I don't want to hurt you. Get away from me."

"You won't." Megumi insists. How can he say that? How can he know?

Yuji shakes his head, steps back further with a soft whimper. He wants him out. Wants it all gone. He yells in the confines of his own head that Sukuna shall vanish from them.

As Yuji presses himself against the wall, he doesn't hear the footsteps. As he curls up and slides down the wall to sit instead, he doesn't notice Megumi doing the same. As the other crouches in front of him, Yuji still has his eyes closed.

A hand on top of him therefore startles Yuji greatly. He slaps it away out of reflex.

"He's not here, Yuji." His name, spoken so gently.

"How do you know?"

"I get these kinds of things too." Megumi responds, and Yuji doesn't understand. "These... Episodes. I wake up and I'm so sure he's here again, back in my body. But he's not, Yuji. Sukuna is gone. And you won't hurt me." He takes Yuji's wrists, his thumb rubbing over Yuji's pulse. The black ink has dissipated.

Yuji doesn't move or respond. He feels his head clear a little, his body relaxing just ever so slightly.

Megumi sighs, but not out of annoyance. Not out of irritation or frustration. No, it's sympathetic.

"I know how you feel."

"You have these too?" Yuji feels sick with guilt. That is his fault. Megumi knows only how it feels to be a vessel because he couldn't protect him from such evil. He knew Sukuna was planning something and still wasn't able to save Megumi, as he had promised.

The tears come back to him quickly. Through a blurry vision he sees Megumi come closer, but can't back up further into the wall.

Megumi pulls him forward, loosens Yuji's hands from himself. He urges and coaxes with his careful fingers until Yuji's head settles on his shoulder. His arms wrap around Yuji.

Yuji can hear the steady rhythm of Megumi's breath by his ear. In his still shaken state, it almost sounds like the rush of waves at a beach. Slow, rhythmic. Washing over him. Megumi doesn't tell him to, yet Yuji matches his own breath to it.

Megumi's temple is touching his, small movements that Yuji can sense, can truly feel. It fills him with so much contentment he could cry.

"I didn't save you." Yuji finally wraps his arms around him, having relearned that the hands he has in his possession won't hurt. Having relearned that the evil presence in his mind is no longer there, only an illusion of what it once was. So Yuji holds, finds Megumi's shoulderblades as he traces the upper back of the other. His delicate spine seems so steadfast now, as Yuji threatens to fall apart with each rattling breath.

"Yes you did." Megumi huffs. "You saved me. Over and over."

"I couldn't stop Sukuna."

"You did. We did."

"Not at first."

"That doesn't matter." Megumi starts a rhythmic touch on Yuji's back, fingertips trickling up and down Yuji's spine. Like a siren song, luring him into relaxation. "I didn't save you the first time either, did I?"

"Yes you did. You saved me from execution."

"The first time you died." Megumi specifies.

"I never blamed you for that."

"Neither did I blame you." Yuji can't help as his muscles are soothed into sleep. He lets out a soft sob as his lungs catch up. Megumi's cooing musings by his ear make him take small exhales to stop himself from crying again. He's so tired. He yet again doesn't even know how late it is. The nights and days have blurred together recently.

"You understand now?" Megumi asks and Yuji can only nod.

"Get up. Let's get you to bed." Megumi parts from him and offers two steady hands to hold onto as Yuji pulls himself up. He feels pathetic, yet doesn't face shame despite Megumi seeing him. His eyes are void of any judgement.

"Will you stay?" Yuji is afraid of rejection, but it doesn't come.

"I will."

They both crawl into bed, Yuji turning his back to Megumi and expecting he'll do the same.

"Thank you, Megumi."

"It was nothing. Sleep well, Yuji." Yuji's heart clenches at his name. Never did he think he'd hear his name and feel so gravitated towards someone in return. It makes all the other years he was called by that same name feel meaningless. As if he was born again, baptised by a caring man with toughness in his exterior and walls up at every corner. With eyes the shade of black pine needles and hair colored the same as deepest ocean waves. A man that guides him under unruly waters and pulls him up before he drowns, tells him to breathe as he chokes up the water he accidentally swallowed. A savior that insists on wearing a cloak of dolonia to weigh himself down.

As Yuji expects the savior to sleep, he still feels his presence. In the shape of flowing touches he visits him. Warmth on his spine.

"That feels nice." He can't help but express it.

Megumi doesn't speak at first. Let's the silence roll through.

"It made you relax earlier." He then pulls away. "I can stop, if you can't sleep with it."

Yuji pouts, even when he knows Megumi can't see it. "Please don't. It's helping."

Megumi blinks, then hesitantly resumes. He gently scratches Yuji's back, fingernails dragging up and down his spine. He draws circles over Yuji's shoulderblades, trickling up his nape too. Yuji loves those the most, as they slightly tickle with each pass. And they're not filtered by the fabric of his shirt.

"Who taught you this?" Yuji asks then, curious. He knows he should sleep, but the rarity of this fragile moment between them makes him yearn to seek for its extension. They're vulnerable now. Yuji wants to take his time as bandages are wrapped around his wounds.

"It's embarrassing." Megumi admits. Yet speaks the answer. "I did. It soothes me when I can't sleep."

"You're so smart, Megumi." Yuji can't help but chuckle tiredly at his own slurred reply. His words don't hold the emotional weight or clarity he wants them to have. He doesn't know how to soak them in the honey of affection he holds deep in his stomach yet. Not consciously, anyways.

"How long can I make you do this?" Yuji inquires again. He forgets how to hold his tongue. "I'll buy you any snacks you'd like."

"You're not making me do anything." Megumi retorts. 

"Okay, but... Isn't this boring for you?"

"No." Megumi's hand runs all the way up to Yuji's scalp, scratching it for a few seconds before dipping back down. It feels even better on naked skin as Yuji realises, and he wonders if Megumi would pull away if he asked to take his shirt off. If that was weird. But yet it feels less intrusive, having someone see his naked skin after he has witnessed the deepest fears of him.

Yuji turns his head for his question, as he feels it is more fitting to do so. 

"Can I take my shirt off?"

He sees the other in the corner of his vision. Megumi's eyes are fully directed at him in response to that question. 

He takes too long to react for Yuji's comfort.

Yuji laughs, waving his hands defensively. "Not in a weird way! Just... It feels really good on my actual skin." 

"You're not taking your shirt off. I don't want Kugisaki to burst in here tomorrow and ask me stupid questions all day."

"Well, it's none of her business!" Yuji squeaks out the last word because Megumi's arm has slipped under the back of his shirt. Then the other resumes his previous movements as if nothing happened, running his nails up and down Yuji's back. The feeling is much more intense now. And even more satisfying. Yuji smiles and hums in contentment.

"Thank you. That feels great." He answers, subdued.

There's a white light coming from behind Yuji as Megumi chuckles. "Yuta is asking if we need any groceries taken care of." He reads from his phone.

Yuji shivers at a particularly tickling scritch that drifts across his ribs and waist. "He's still awake?" He pauses to think and realises how quiet his head has gotten. "...I ran out of soy sauce when I was cooking." He comments and hears Megumi type with one hand, though most of his attention is on Megumi's other hand. 

"...You can type with one hand?"

"You just noticed that?" Megumi questions instead of answering.

"Well, I'm clearly busy focusing on other things." Yuji huffs. "Your scratches are distracting. In a good way!"

"Mhm." Megumi pauses, then decides to answer the actual question. "It's not that difficult. I'm not as fast but I can text back fine."

"You can also just remove your hand for a second."

"If it was bothering me I would. But it's not. So stop talking." Megumi reads over the text before sending it, Yuta responding affirmatively in no time.

Yuji turns around to face Megumi. The warm radiating fuzzes of the scratches fizz out.

Megumi turns his phone off, looking back at him. "What's up?"

"Can I try?" Yuji then asks. "The scratches." 

"I guess so." Megumi comments. He sits up, taking off the sweater he's wearing. A white shirt underneath, just as Yuji was about to complain about the double standard of Megumi being allowed to be shirtless while he wasn't.

Megumi lies back down, offering Yuji the soft inner side of his left arm. 

Yuji looks at it in a brief strike of wonder, before settling his fingertips onto it. It's very soft. He has found to grow curious of the most mundane when faced with Megumi.

He mimics the movements of the other, Megumi whispering for him to take it slower and he does so.

Yuji glances at Megumi's expression and swallows at what he sees. It's completely unguarded. Megumi is watching his hand instead, previously unseen softness and fragility in his eyes. They blink frequently, threatening to fall shut. Small shivers reach his face as twitches in his expression.

Megumi looks so happy. Yet he's barely even smiling.

"It feels very different." Megumi shudders again. "A lot more intense than I thought it would be." 

"Yeah." Yuji is still looking at him, mouth dry. "It feels even better on your back." He looks down at Megumi's arm. "If you'll let me."

"... Okay." Megumi seems hesitant to turn his back to him, which Yuji understands. It's a very vulnerable feeling.

"Come closer. I can do it like this." He beckons, knowing he's dancing the line. This is not just hugging anymore.

Megumi does, scooting down so his head is at the height of Yuji's collar instead. He moves closer, until Yuji wraps his arms around him.

Without thinking, Yuji's hand slides under Megumi's shirt as well. He wasn't explicitly allowed, yet Megumi seems to deem it expected as he doesn't comment.

"I started this so you could fall asleep." Megumi mumbles. His back moves in small motions at Yuji's touches. An occasional arch, which makes Yuji smile. Megumi is really sensitive.

"And now I'm paying you back. Don't worry, I can fall asleep just fine." Yuji answers. He increases the size of his circles, almost reaching Megumi's nape.

A whimper sounds against his collarbone. Small in a regular setting, but loud in the quiet of this space.

Yuji pretends he doesn't hear it to spare Megumi mercy. Even as his heart is burnt to a growing ember. As his ears make it play back in a steady echo. As his hands move eagerly across the scarred canvas of the other's body, itching to draw more alike from his throat. He wants to hear it again, at any expense of precious sleep.

Megumi presses his face into Yuji's throat. His face is hot now, especially compared to his back.

Yuji traces his nape again. Lifts the collar of Megumi's shirt with his other hand to grant himself more access. He's greedy, and for the first time he can't bring himself to dial it back. He forgets how to.

His fingernails trace up and up, until they meet Megumi's hairline. They feel over the vertebra prominens, tickling the sides of his neck.

Megumi answers him in shivers, in goosebumps, until then, finally, his name.

"Yuji." A whine, this time.

Yuji chokes on the intimacy of it. He's touching something private, something hidden. Exploring fragile things he hasn't been given consent to do so. His body feels hot, burning under his clothes. He needs to bite his tongue. His own mind threatens to let what he feels out. Megumi's voice is yet again a siren's song, a temptation for his weakened conscience, his never-present filter.

"Sorry." Yuji apologizes, and traces back down. But any movement of his now has Megumi shaking in his embrace. He unlocked something from the depths, pulled it to its surface. Yuji is as guilt-ridden as he is ecstatic at what he finds.

"It's okay." Megumi's voice is wavering in a way it almost never does. Is it sleep, or is Yuji untangling knots that Megumi has taken in precaution? To tie together severed ends? Is he becoming undone? 

"I don't know why my body is responding like this."

Yuji is shocked as he can see beyond those words and find Megumi lying. Can find him actually expressing that he knows exactly what is happening. 

Megumi isn't terrible at lying when he wants to. Unfortunately, Yuji knows him too well at this point in time. And now he's hungry for that reason.

But this is already too far. He knows it. He finally lets it trickle out, lets the eagerness be smothered under a blanket of sympathy. Neither of them are ready for this to burst. Neither of them are ready to answer the questions of the other. The ones hanging in the tension-thick air.

Yuji presses his palm for Megumi's skin instead. A much bigger point of contact, one less tickling. So Megumi and him can sleep, rest.

Megumi's first exhale is so long Yuji thinks he must've held his breath. Then the rhythm returns, and Yuji can't speak his second 'goodnight' of the endeavor before he succumbs to such himself. A truly good night.

The next morning, nothing is to be said as they eat breakfast together. But there has been a change in chemistry, Yuji feels. Megumi seems different. It's subtle, but his face is much more open in his perception. His expressions look more intense, more obvious. He watches it as they relax on the couch, and witnesses as it closes off again in real time.

"There you two are. Geez." Nobara squints at them. "I texted you like four times, Itadori. You usually respond immediately."

"Sorry, occupied." Yuji smiles at her. He's not occupied and it's obvious. "You should text Fushiguro next time."

"Fushiguro actually never responds to my things." She rolls her eyes. "What are you guys up to?"

"Just talking. Did you know Fushiguro gives amazing back scratches?" Yuji says, feeling Megumi's wrath as the other weakly smacks the back of his head. Yuji's filter has yet to come back even after heavenly sleep.

Nobara's eyebrows raise halfway to her forehead. "Does he now?"

"Shut up." Megumi knows she's about to say something stupid. "Why are you here?"

"I need someone to beat up. Are any of you willing to train with me?"

"Sure." Yuji sits up and stretches, yawning loudly. Megumi watches him before getting up as well. He'll tag along. But probably won't fight.

Nobara actually wins a few rounds against Yuji in the end. And as Yuji catches his breath and splays out on the ground, Nobara saunters over to Megumi with a wide, evil grin on her face. "Hey, mind doing those scratches more often? They've really taken him off his game."

"It's not my back scratches that are doing this. Maybe he's just letting you win." Megumi sasses back with crossed arms, but Nobara doesn't take the bait.

"Fushiguro, my back is way too relaxed now because of you." Yuji whines from where he's lying down a few meters away.

Nobara's cocky expression is back as she's vindicated.

"Don't say a word." Megumi warns her.

"I'm not saying anything. Clearly it's your magic fingernails doing the work." She whispers something following up that Yuji can't hear. But Yuji sees the raging blush on Megumi's neck.

When one of them sleeps well, the other doesn't. It seems to be a constant balance that needs to be kept. As to not offend the gods.

Yuji has never seen Megumi so tired.

He's been slouching even more so than usual, barely speaking to him and Nobara before and after a mission. And during... Well Yuji doesn't want to sound like an ass, but Megumi usually figures out a person's technique before Yuji.

"Never thought I'd see the day where Itadori figures out how to beat someone before you do, Fushiguro." Nobara doesn't worry about her image like Itadori does, so she voices those exact thoughts.

"Whatever."

And that's it. No clever comeback. No criticism of Nobara's very apparent mistake when they went in for that first attack. Just 'whatever', letting go of the reins entirely.

Nobara and Yuji share a look. They both know something is up.

"Just like, not asking because I actually care but how much did you sleep last night?" Nobara asks.

Megumi looks like he's ready to yell, but then his expression twists into a sort of pout? "I slept eight hours, is the thing. But I woke up so many times it might as well not have classified at all." He groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sorry for not being on top of it today. Thanks for having my back."

Yuji and Nobara are both stunned into silence, temporarily. Yuji takes it back, he'd definitely not get used to 'throwing-out-praise' Megumi.

"Even though that first attack should've never been executed like that." Good thing he doesn't have to.

"You're an asshole." Nobara huffs. "I was almost starting to like this version of you."

"Ew, don't say that." Megumi mumbles and then laughs.

Yuji, despite feeling bad for Megumi's sleep deprivation, wants to never let this moment go. Megumi's laughter is devastatingly pretty, so clumsy unlike him.

Megumi flops down onto the couch when they finally get back home, not even out of his uniform. Normally he'd insist on showering first. It's unusual, but Yuji decides to joke around since Megumi is responding particularly well to it today.

"Rookie mistake. You should shower before you lie down anywhere." Yuji stands by his side and Megumi groans. 

"I'm realizing that now. I don't want to move a muscle."

"I'll help you up?" Yuji offers his hand, and doesn't expect Megumi to go for it. Normally his hand would hang in the air before Megumi gets up himself.

Now, however, Megumi takes it, wrapping his hand around Yuji's and pulling himself off the couch. Ungracefully, which doesn't matter when Yuji's hand explodes into a firework of pleasant tingles.

"Thanks. I'll be back."

Yuji sits down on the couch with his head in his hands, before he texts Nobara with a furious blush.

Send help.

18:37

I'm crushing bad.

18:37

Wow.

18:43

Did you type this message 3 months ago and it just now sent?

18:44

Yuji sends a rather inappropriate response with few letters but many curse words. 

Use this opportunity. Idk what to tell you

18:50

Yuji's face burns. Use this opportunity? Like what?

"Hey, shower's free now."

"Thanks, I'll be-" Yuji looks up and first sees his hoodie. His hoodie. On Megumi's body. "Isn't that my hoodie?"

"Oh, yeah." Megumi looks down, as if he just now noticed. "Is that okay? It was on the pile of clean clothes and I forgot to bring a full change to the shower."

And yet he chose something of Yuji's. It did probably stand out between Nobara's rather dark colours and Megumi's almost exclusively black closet. But still. His bright red hoodie.

"No, it's fine! I'll be right back." Yuji gets up swiftly from the couch and makes his way to his room for clean clothes, before heading to shower.

As he runs to the bathroom he nearly collides with the door as he frantically texts Nobara.

WRAEIBG MYBHODIE.

18:55

KUGISIAKI

18:55

seen

Yuji shuts the door behind him and slaps his phone down to get out of his clothes. He's way too heated. There's a fluttery feeling in his stomach. This is bad. Like majorly bad. How is he supposed to hang out with Megumi like this?

NOBARA.

19:00

Stop spamming me.

19:02

Especially when it's complete gibberish. What are you even saying??

19:02

Fushiguro. Wearing my hoodie.

19:02

LOL

19:03

You're on your own.

19:03

Yuji takes an ice cold shower, and it's calming.

Until he comes back out to face Megumi however.

Megumi is settled now, curled up in sweatpants and once again Yuji's hoodie. Yuji sits down next to him and watches as Megumi can barely keep his eyes open. He's eating some leftovers in a bowl, greeting Yuji with a small nod because his mouth is full. His hair is still wet and some of it hangs down into his face, though most stubborn strands are already sticking back out like their usual unruly state. Megumi brushes the ones that cling to his face behind his ear. 

He looks adorable.

It's a little irritating, because Yuji has to pathetically realise that even Megumi's ears are cute. But more importantly, that Megumi is one too-long-lasting headnod away from falling asleep mid-dinner.

Which apparently is the one right after he finishes that thought.

His palm catches Megumi's forehead, his other hand under the bowl so it doesn't fall. Out like a light. Yuji almost giggles.

He slowly moves Megumi back, letting him sit back on the couch while he eats the rest of Megumi's dinner and puts the bowl and fork in the dishwasher. When he comes back Megumi is still on the couch, but now curled up in the fetal position. Yuji can hear soft snores coming from him.

And see, he should be applauded for the self-restraint to not take a million pictures.

He does take one, though.

From previous experience, Yuji can attest to the fact that if he lets Megumi sleep here, the other will be plagued by back and neck pains galore. So it truly is in Megumi's best interest if Yuji takes him to bed.

But Yuji doesn't really want to wake Megumi. Even when he's uncharacteristically friendly today, that's just asking to get his ass kicked.

So he could just carry him to bed.

Megumi is very light. Yuji is able to scoop him up without issue. He's careful not to jostle him much. In a bridal carry, he makes his way down the dark hall.

Yuji wonders if Megumi had ever been carried to bed like this as a kid. If he had pretended to fall asleep as Yuji had done so in his childhood, making his grandfather carry him home from the car and tuck him in.

And while he does deem it possible for Gojo to humor Megumi in such a way, he doesn't think Megumi would do so.

He can more so envision a small Megumi trying to carry his sister to bed. Maybe a taller Megumi, one in his teens. Carrying his coma-ridden older sister with a solemn, forlorn look in his eyes.

Yuji's heart sinks at the bitter reminder. He wishes Megumi wouldn't have lost so many people dear to him.

It is his turn to take care of Megumi now, he thinks. And maybe he's the first to care this deeply, maybe he's not. But he wants to take on the task, even if it is not asked of him.

He glances down at Megumi, his forehead on Yuji's chest. His breaths are slow but shallow. His limbs are limp, legs swaying with Yuji's steps and his arms hanging across his stomach on one side and hanging down in the air on the other. 

And Yuji can tell Megumi is fading in and out of consciousness. He can hear his breaths falter into deeper ones, can see the barest flutter of his eyelashes when he opens his eyes just a little. He doesn't speak but swallows, his head sinking fully into Yuji. Complete trust.

Yuji can't help his smile. In these quiet, mostly silent ways that Megumi reaches out for him, Yuji finds the most endearment. Megumi carries shame, carries guilt. He doesn't let things get close if he can help it. Tries to stay detached from situations to avoid hurt or distraction.

With Yuji, he lets - on increasingly common occasions - himself be. In the majority of it all he does it to humor Yuji, to play along, but there are the rare occasions where he simply indulges in such safety.

And right now he might be saying he's playing along, but Yuji can feel how relaxed he is in his arms. Can see him stir just a little when Yuji slides open his bedroom door with his foot, knowing he will be let down soon.

"Here you go." Yuji coos. He lets him down slowly, lying him down on his side, how Yuji knows him to prefer. He curls in a little, doesn't say a word.

There's a clammy hand around Yuji's wrist when he tries to leave.

Megumi, holding him there, turning his head to him. His eyes are still heavy, blinks soft and slow. Green glints swallowed up by content blackness.

"Wait." Megumi swallows after his words. He doesn't follow up with anything, but there's a silent plea in his eyes. The tiniest shimmer of it, yet Yuji doesn't lose sight of it even after it fades. He's asking him to stay.

Vulnerable Megumi is akin to a frightened feral animal taking a step towards a stranger. One wrong move or word and he pulls back, only reaching out way later again when he has surpassed the humiliation and fear.

Yuji treads lightly. "Okay." 

Megumi pulls him closer. "I think it's just the nightmares." He starts as Yuji sits down by his bedside. Yuji tries to be normal as the other drapes an arm over his thighs. "That's why I'm... Tired." 

"Oh." Yuji smiles softly. "And I help?" He is careful to not sound teasing. If he teases, Megumi will get embarrassed. But he can't help it.

Megumi smiles back, warm as steaming tea as the flush appears on Yuji's face. "Don't get cocky." He retorts and Yuji is very glad for the looser atmosphere it provides.

"I think about everything that happened... With the Culling Games, Shibuya. I know we both hate talking about it." Megumi looks away and Yuji swallows the sickly feeling in the back of his esophagus. Hate is an understatement.

"I'm really glad you're still here, Yuji." Megumi's breath quickens. It's been quicker since Yuji sat down. If Yuji looks closely, he can see something jump in fast pulses at the base of Megumi's throat. It feels too private, but he can't tear his eyes from it. Megumi's heartbeat tells him he's nervous.

"I... Feel the same. Megumi." The words feel nice on his tongue. As much as Megumi dislikes his name, Yuji really does find it beautiful. It has grace like Megumi does.

Megumi lets out a choked laugh. "I'm... Talking without thinking. That's scary."

"You're doing fine. Haven't said anything weird yet." Yuji croons. "Though you could never offend me."

"You're too good to me. I hope you know that." Megumi's smile fades away in a matter of a blink. "You cook, you carry me to bed, you buy me things I didn't even ask for."

"I wouldn't do things that I don't think you deserve. And I think you deserve someone who cares for your needs when you don't."

"Why me?" 

"In my heart it's right." Yuji answers, leans back on his hands. "Don't you feel that too, sometimes? You just know in your heart when something you do is right?"

"Yes." Megumi looks down at himself. "Though I feel selfish in those moments. Deciding against what's truly right in favor of my own mind."

"Do you regret saving me that day, then?" Yuji smiles when Megumi looks shocked. "It was you who saved me from execution."

"Never." Megumi is dead serious again. So serious that he sits up on his bed. "Don't ask me that again."

Yuji giggles at the change of tone. "Why's that?"

"Because it's a dumb question to ask. That answer should be obvious." He sits up, facing Yuji. "I..." Megumi turns red again, which makes Yuji very curious about what he's holding back on. He watches Megumi shift nervously, eyes cast downwards.

"You... What?" Yuji can't help but ask. He's truly dying to know.

Yuji's eyes twitch down as Megumi chews on the corner of his bottom lip. Not like he needed any more reason to be flustered around him, but Megumi's lips look very soft. 

"I really shouldn't say why." Megumi whispers. "You'll hate the reason. You might even hate me." He swallows and then a fire lights in his eyes.

"What? I would never hate you." Yuji retorts, voice quiet as well. He tilts his head to the side. "Just tell me, c'mon." He smiles, a little giddy. He has no idea what Megumi is building up to, but he's getting excited now for some reason.

"I had no logical reason to save you." Megumi says and Yuji is a little concerned with how fast the visible pulse on the line of Megumi's neck is. Also most of his bloodflow must be stuck in with how much he's blushing. "I couldn't bear to see a good person like you die." Megumi swallows, shifts in his spot. 

Yuji blushes, his smile dropping. "Oh." 

"Yuji." Megumi is not done, so he grabs his attention again. "I told myself that was all there was to it, anyways. But..." 

He clears his throat, gathers his courage anew. Rolls his shoulders back, tense under Yuji's gaze.

"It's not. And I thought I could hide it, but I can't. I can't move on. The truth is... I fell in love with you, Yuji."

Wait. What?

Yuji holds his breath. Did he hear that right?

"I'm sorry, I really tried-" Megumi stutters, pulls away already.

Wow, Yuji is an idiot.

He must be the densest man on the planet. He's surprised he doesn't sink in pools.

That's why Megumi was so nervous. Why he seemed to not want to tell him something.

Megumi likes Yuji. Loves him.

He didn't expect it. At all.

What does he say? He loves him back! But he can't say something stupid now. He needs to think.

Megumi's increasingly pale face causes those thoughts to halt.

Eyes that scream 'I made a mistake, didn't I' and Yuji feels his chest get tighter. Megumi didn't make a mistake.

Yuji kisses him.

Words might've been nicer. Might let Megumi adjust easier, giving him a better way to respond. But there were no words in that moment that Yuji could say without stuttering, no words that would do his feelings justice.

Megumi gets to feel what Yuji thinks about it instead. This whole time, Yuji has already tried gestures to basically court Megumi. He's terrible with words when he actually tries. Actions speak louder, he heard somewhere.

A gasp against him has him reeling. Megumi kisses back, eager and soft. Yuji is nearly pushed off the bed and has to regain his bearings. He kisses back, heat rolling through him. He presses forward until Megumi lies back.

Yuji hovers above him, their lips pulling apart with a soft pop. "Hold on, I'll-" He startles a little because Megumi lifts himself up and kisses Yuji again, aiming to pull him in again with tempting kisses, though uses no hands to take him down. Just his lips. 

It's, of course, terribly effective and stops him in his tracks. Because Yuji fell not only head over heels, but fell so hard he probably gave himself a concussion. He's still delirious, embarrassing himself left and right. His heart pumps fast, lips tingling.

"Don't go." Those words make Yuji's stomach flip. His blood rushes all over the place. His face is on fire and yet he feels lightheaded.

"I'm not." Yuji laughs softly, kiss-drunk. "Just let me get in the bed." He needs to find a more stable position.

"Okay." The response is spoken softly, a simple acceptance rare for Megumi to speak. He sounds pleased, subdued.

Yuji loses himself in their kisses. Sinks into it. The relief and glory blooms in him to the brightest blossom.

Megumi's right hand moves up his torso, grabbing his pec. The greediness in it is setting Yuji's nerves ablaze. They switch positions by taking a short break between kissing, Megumi guiding him. Until Megumi sits in Yuji's lap, hand still on the other's chest.

"Oh." Yuji breathes out between kisses in response before Megumi pushes forward once again, pressing the back of his head against the wall. Carefully, might he add. Megumi holds his head in his hands like it's precious. His head is angled upwards and Megumi's down, due to the difference in height. Yuji feels so light he might start floating soon. Megumi needs to be careful, Yuji can feel himself get less and less focused with each touch of their lips.

There's a charged pause when they catch their breaths.

"I've been waiting to do that." Megumi whispers into his lips, making Yuji taste those bitter - but mostly sweet - words. He licks over them when they land behind Yuji's teeth, combs them like gel into his hair with his hands and makes it stick. "For so long."

He presses the corner of his mouth into Yuji's scarred one, rubs the tip of his nose up and down the lines of his jaw and throat.

"You have?" Yuji can't catch his breath apparently. Because Megumi keeps stealing it.

"Yes." Megumi presses a kiss to his ear. Right there, where a bit of tissue is missing and has left a notch. "When you... Died back then, something broke in me." He confesses. Holds Yuji's head in his arms now, their panting and pounding chests flush.

Yuji feels cold, then hot, then cold.

Not only out of guilt which he has already atoned for, but because Megumi has truly been waiting.

"I'm sorry."

"Shh, quit that." Megumi coos and smooths the crease between Yuji's eyebrows down. "It's been hard to hide." He admits. "When I was asking you to save me, I... I was sure I was obvious."

"You still have your moments where I'm sure you hate me." Yuji earns a breathless laugh for that.

"Maybe. But you make it very hard to not love you, Yuji. I tried."

Yuji chokes on the words he means to say. "Oh."

Only then does his passive perception extend to outside. It is storming. The rushing of water is loud and rhythmic against the facade and roof of their home. It must've been drowned out by his thundering heartbeat.

"You'll think I'm really stupid for what I'll say next."

"Pretty hard to lower an already low standard." Megumi's smile is addicting. Yuji wants to make him laugh again and again until he grows tired of it. Because he never will.

"Ouch. But... I think with everything that went down, my brain only got back to 'normal' a month or so ago? When everything terrible was behind us. And so... Imight'veonlyrealisednowIhaveacrushonyou"

Megumi smiles, and has to visibly bite something back physically. Then he laughs and Yuji's heart lights up anew. "Is that why you've been so weird lately?"

"I've not been weird!" Yuji whines and Megumi shakes his head in disagreement. "You kept staring at me. I thought you had some kind of grudge that I couldn't figure out. I was going to ask you-"

Yuji cuts him off, because he has something more valuable to say. "Megumi." And to save himself from more embarrassment.

Megumi stops.

"I love you too." And Yuji watches in return as Megumi is once again flustered.

Yuji's triumphant grin grows nervous as Megumi starts blinking and turning his head away. Yuji is sure he saw his eyes get teary.

He doesn't tease. Doesn't offer comforting words. He has a better way to console him, now.

Megumi's lips taste a little salty when Yuji turns Megumi's face to him by his chin. A shaky sigh is spoken to his skin and Yuji receives it gratefully.

Kissing grows hungry again without Yuji intending it to. Maybe Megumi's intent is the one shaping it. He's the one licking Yuji's teeth, pressing against his tongue.

Megumi pulls away for a moment, eyes wild.

"Touch me, please. Let me feel you." Megumi begs and Yuji almost short circuits. And he thinks that is deserving of a medal of some kind.

"You've been driving me crazy." Are the words spoken into his open mouth when his hands slide up Megumi's back. He remembers how sensitive it is and uses such knowledge to his advantage. He grabs the back of Megumi's neck, thumbs over his hairline there. A shudder is his answer and fuel. His other hand dances across the knobs of Megumi's spine, taking the liberty to disappear under his shirt. 

Megumi's hands are no easier to deal with for Yuji. They're in his hair, playing and combing, one hand slides down his neck and rubs over the lines of it with its thumb. It radiates heat.

"Sorry about that." Yuji mumbles.

"Don't be."

Yuji does feel a little bad. Megumi has been waiting a lot longer than him.

He plans to make it up to him. However he can.