Chapter Text
10-4-2016 // 11:36pm – alteansociety.com/chatroom1
[ XxCrimsonxFighterxX has joined the chat! ]
[LANCEALOT]: Oh my god what the hell is that username
[LANCEALOT]: Hello edgemaster69
[LANCEALOT]: lolololololol
[PidgetWidget]: Oh my God. I just checked the profile.
[PidgetWidget]: It’s Keith. Keith, why did you change your username?
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: what? its not that bad guys
[Hunkydory1]: idk man. Its pretty bad.
[Hunkydory1]: like middle school scene phase bad.
[takashiro3088]: I like it! It suits him.
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: THANK YOU SHIRO
[LANCEALOT]: Anyway has anyone heard from allura shes been mia for like
[LANCEALOT]: MONTHS now
[LANCEALOT]: And since none of us know each others like last names
[LANCEALOT]: Or if these are our real names
[LANCEALOT]: Or even what we look like
[LANCEALOT]: I cant find her anywhere like anywhere else online
[takashiro3088]: …
[takashiro3088]: I haven’t spoken to her in a long time come to think of it.
[takashiro3088]: And it hasn’t been months. Weeks, sure, but not months. Stop being so dramatic Lance.
[LANCEALOT]: Shut up DAD
[takashiro3088]: How many times do I have to ask you to stop calling me that? I’m not your dad.
[takashiro3088]: You aren’t that much younger than me!
[takashiro3088]: Right?
[LANCEALOT]: Blah blah blah anyway have you guys heard of this new photograph going around
[LANCEALOT]: With the ufo over chicago?
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: no but id love to see it
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: i didn’t even hear about it…
[LANCEALOT]: Hang on ill link you guys!
[LANCEALOT]: < LINK SENT >
[Hunkdory1]: lance you are so lucky I dont REALLY know who you are
[Hunkdory1]: I cant believe I just got rick roll’d in the year 2016
[PidgetWidget]: One day I’m going to figure out a way to complete erase that video’s existence.
[LANCEALOT]: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
[LANCEALOT]: :D
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: why am i not surprised
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: hes literally done this to us before too
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: and we keep believing it
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: wheres allura so she can ban lance from this site forever
[PidgetWidget]: I’m a mod. I’ll do it. I mean, I basically constructed this site for her.
[LANCEALOT]: Excuse you guys alteansociety dot com is a public website i will just make more accounts!
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: why are you such a nuisance
[LANCEALOT]: I keep this chat alive anyway so you cant get rid of me!
[LANCEALOT]: Like us five are the only ones that really use the chat system and IM THE MOST ACTIVE
[LANCEALOT]: Without me the chatroom dies~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Hunkydory1]: hes kind of right you guys.
[Hunkydory1]: kind of. :p
[takashiro3088]: I hate to admit it, but Lance has a point. I usually forget to check this.
[takashiro3088]: Unless Lance PMs me to join the chat.
[LANCEALOT]: ;D
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: im gonna go check my forum post and probably work on this paper for fantasy lit
[XxCrimsonxFighterxX]: ttyl
[ XxCrimsonxFighterxX has left the chat! ]
10-4-16 // 11:48pm – Keith’s Dorm Room
Keith groaned and pushed his roller chair away from his desk. Lance can be so infuriating sometimes. Why does this guy get under his skin? So. Much.
He stretched his arms above his head, his shirt rising just enough to expose a bit of his midriff. A chill went up his shirt, causing him to shudder. All he could think of was a warm, and hopefully large hand running up under his shirt, from a certain nuisance. He placed a hand on his chest, imagining his hand resting right above his heart. A low hum raised in the back of his throat.
It’s pathetic. Here he is pining over a guy he’s only know for a few months, but has never even seen a picture of him. And how is he to know the guy’s name is actually Lance? How does he know if his hands are big and warm? That they’d intertwine with his so perfectly?
In the main chat, Lance seem like the typical annoying college freshman dude-bro. But in their private messages, Keith slowly discovered, that yes, he is annoying, but he’s also much more. He has a deep love for extra-terrestrials and cryptids, much like Keith does. They both like cheesy sci-fi moves and zero butter on their popcorn. Lance is a really good listener as well. When Keith would have nights where school was just too much and he considered heavily about dropping out, Lance would be there to, well yell at him for basically thinking of throwing his “future” away. And then he’d spend the whole night talking to him, trying to cheer him up. Which usually just meant memes and terrible puns.
God, why did they have to establish the “no photo” rule when they all started talking? He’d give anything to know what he looked like. To see if his face matched his beautiful soul. Keith was sure that he did. He had a few ideas of what he looked like, but he’d accept Lance even if he looked like a slug. And there’s always the possibility that Lance isn’t actually human, but a slug-like alien that inhabited a human’s body and learned how to use a computer. All very possible.
When Keith first joined the social media site, AlteanSociety, about a year ago, it was basically dead and the site itself was bare and boring. But it was something that allowed him to speak to others freely about his beliefs in life in outer space. Things really kicked up when a post on Tumblr went viral about the site’s existence. The owner of the site, username PrincessAllura, then requested the help of a good programmer and that’s how Pidge came to use the site.
Pidge designed basically everything to make AlteanSociety the fully functional social media site it was. There was friending, profiles, private messaging, forums and then the main chat system. When the new site first went live with all the new features, the site was a big hit. But a lot of it was skeptics coming to criticize or just casual believers. When Keith was first on the site, he went heavy into theories and only spoke to those who could match his discussions. Which is why he actively avoided the main chat system.
But soon after the hype of the site died down, Keith decided to check out the chatroom. When he entered, there were only five others in the chatroom. And only two of them were actively talking. It was LANCEALOT and Hunkydory1. Keith had immediately cringed at their choice in usernames, but he wasn’t one to talk. At that point, his username was R0GU3AL13N because he wanted to remain as anonymous as possible. Lance and Hunk were talking about a possible Mothman sighting in the Midwest, but Lance was arguing with Hunk about the existence of the Mothman, as it was one of the very few cryptids he didn’t believe in. Keith actually took Hunk’s side and joined in on the argument. With the three of them going at it, it attracted the attention of the other three who were originally idle in the chat. Suddenly, Shiro, Pidge and Allura were all taking sides. It eventually ended after three hours with both sides compromising and that the Mothman topic was to be avoided in the main chat, but PMs were not off limits.
From the argument, it was noticed that the six of them all started to frequent the chatroom more often. They’d talk daily and for hours. Not all of it was about conspiracy theories or aliens either. It got personal and friendlier. And soon enough, they were a small group of friends who talked in the chatroom. It was about a month into the group friendship that the “no photo” rule was put in place. It was Allura’s idea actually. She said that remaining anonymous would be mysterious and would add excitement to their friendship. So it was decided that no one could send a selfie or anything to anyone in the group. Lance declared it to be unfair because his face was “crafted by the gods and the world needed to see its beauty”, but he agreed anyway. Said the excitement and mystery was too much to pass. And as far as Keith knew, no one had each other’s personal social media on Facebook and such. Or anyone’s phone numbers. It was all on AlteanSociety. All the time.
So who’s to say that the supposed 18 year old Lance was actually the 59 year old Harry?
Even still, Keith fell for this anonymous man and fell rather hard. He wouldn’t say love. It was more like a deep, deep crush. A forever one-sided type of crush. As far as Keith knew, Lance was heterosexual. From him discussing his failed flirting attempts with the girls on his campus and sometimes successful pickup lines for girls on dating sites, Keith was almost 100% sure that he liked girls and girls alone. Which only hurt his heart even more.
Keith sighed, sitting back up straight. He might as well go check his forum post to see if anyone had replied. While the chatroom usually only had their small group in it, the site itself was decently filled still. There were plenty of people in the forums. Keith’s newest post was about one of the new planets that were discovered and if there was a possibility of life living on it. And if so, what kind of life?
His fingers raced over the keys, replying to a new comment on his post. This person was arguing that it was impossible for there to be life due to the fact the planet is too close to its sun. But Keith retorted with ‘not all living beings are like humans tho some are probably able to adapt and evolve to withstand extreme temperatures humans are weak if you think about it’. Satisfied with his response, he smirked and clicked back to go and see what new threads were out now.
He scrolled through the top ones, nothing interesting. It was just the basic cryptid and alien talks and some trolling threads. All the new threads just looked dull to him, nothing stood out. Except for one.
‘The Girl of My Dreams: An Alien Catfished Me?!’
This title already makes it unbelievable. It was more than likely just a troll article, but it did inspire Keith. Catfishing, huh? Using a fictional persona to lure someone into a relationship? It’s crazy! It’s cruel! No one ever deserves to be lied to! But it might just work in his favor.
It’s easy! All he had to do was make a new AlteanSociety account and pretend to be a girl. Then, join the chatroom and meet Lance. Lance is weak around girls. He tried flirting with Allura when everyone first met, but she shot him down. Pretty harshly too, but that’s a story for another time. Lance was going to try for Pidge as well, but when Pidge revealed they were a junior in high school (at the time of their first meeting), he backed away. He said he prefers ‘older, more mature women’ and after that Pidge continuously proved how much more mature they were than him. But Lance is a man of his word.
A simple, yet insane plane that could work. If Keith can keep up a female persona, then he could interest Lance. And maybe live out a relationship with him online. With the group rules in his mind, maybe Lance won’t ask to Skype or anything. Maybe. If he does, Keith can easily get out of it. And who says they need to see each other in person to be in love?
Keith cracked his knuckles and logged out of his account, already clicking on the sign up button. With a smile stretched across his face, and a heart full of hope, Keith created his fake account.
10-5-16 // 12:12am – alteansociey.com/chatroom1
[ crypticsweetie has joined the chat! ]
[Hunkydory1]: keith if that’s you then that’s an even worse username
[PidgetWidget]: Actually, I don’t think that’s Keith. Keith’s profile says he’s offline.
[PidgetWidget]: Plus, if you check the new guy’s profile, they’re literally a brand new account. Not Keith.
[LANCEALOT]: Well hello crypticsweetie welcome to altean societys sweetest hang out
[LANCEALOT]: With me lance as the coolest cat in here~~~~
[LANCEALOT]: And too who are we speaking to?<3
[Hunkydory1]: isn’t it ‘whom’? & to? if keith were here his english major self would’ve scolded you
[LANCEALOT]: Keith isnt here and he has no room to talk because he types like he doesnt
[LANCEALOT]: know what a punctuation mark is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:(
[LANCEALOT]: But FINE!!!!
[LANCEALOT]: To whom are we speaking to? happy?
[Hunkydory1]: ^-^
[crpyticsweetie]: heehee^^ im katie!! nice to meet you lance!
[LANCEALOT]: Aw how polite! a real SWEETIE ;)
[PidgetWidget]: Wait, your name is Katie?
[crypticsweetie]: yeah^^ been that way since I was born lol
[PidgetWidget]: Interesting.
[Hunkydory1]: what’s interesting pidge?
[PidgetWidget]: Oh it’s nothing Hunk. Don’t worry about it.
[Hunkydory1]: >->
[takashiro3088]: Hello Katie! I am Shiro. I come from the year 3088! At least that’s what I believe.
[takashiro3088]: I mean I’m pretty sure I was sent here when I was a baby. It’s the only thing that explains
[takashiro3088]: My robotic arm and intense genius and skill.^^
[PidgetWidget]: Such modesty, Shiro. You’re truly a humble man.
[takashiro3088]: I try. :)
[crypticsweetie]: from the future? :o robotic arm? so cool! ehh are you sure youre from the future?
[takashiro3088]: Mhm! I am a firm believer I am not from this time, but was sent here for a mission!
[crypticsweetie]: whats the mission?
[takashiro3088]: …
[takashiro3088]: That I do not know yet, but I am sure I will be contacted from the future once it’s time.
[LANCEALOT]: I personally think its all bullshit but he DID send us a picture of his super cool arm.
[LANCEALOT]: Im still skeptical which is pretty ironic considering what site im on lololololol
[LANCEALOT]: Like you arent born with a prosthetic arm so maybe when he was a kid
[LANCEALOT]: Something happened and he lost his arm and like this is coping idk?
[LANCEALOT]: Whatever keeps the old man happy.
[Hunkydory1]: i’m skeptical too but its good to have an open mind!^_^
[PidgetWidget]: No comment.
[takashiro3088]: ;-;
[takashiro3088]: Lance how many times do I have to tell you that I’m not that old?
[takashiro3088]: Besides, TECHNICALLY I’m younger than you. You’re the old man.
[takashiro3088]: Future, baby.
[LANCEALOT]: ANYWAY
[LANCEALOT]: Katie, sweetie, can I call you sweet im gonna call you sweetie okay.
[LANCEALOT]: Let me give you the run down of whos who
[LANCEALOT]: Pidgetwidget is pidge and theyre a super sweet hacker computer science kid.
[LANCEALOT]: Very smart very wise. dont pick an argument with them you will lose.
[LANCEALOT]: Hunkydory1 is my main man hunk! sweetest dude youll ever meet<3
[LANCEALOT]: Love u bb
[Hunkydory1]: lance
[LANCEALOT]: *blows a kiss at the sky* 4 hunk
[Hunkydory1]: LANCE
[LANCEALOT]: lololololololol
[LANCEALOT]: Nah seriously hes my best friend of all time.
[LANCEALOT]: Noah fence to the rest of yall.
[LANCEALOT]: Some offense to keith.
[crypticsweetie]: oh! which one is keith?
[LANCEALOT]: Hes not here right now mr goody goody is doing his hw.
[LANCEALOT]: Keiths kinda cool I guess ;)
[LANCEALOT]: Maybe hell get on later whatevs moving on!
[LANCEALOT]: takashiro3088 is my dad
[takashiro3088]: I will seriously leave the chat, Lance.
[PidgetWidget]: You know he’ll never stop Shiro.Especially since it bothers you. He’s TRYING to annoy you.
[LANCEALOT]: Shiro is my FRIEND not my DAD :( there happy?
[LANCEALOT]: As you can see he thinks hes from the future.
[LANCEALOT]: As you can see I do not think hes from the future. although that would be pretty kick ass
[takashiro3088]: Lance you really do get under my skin sometimes.
[LANCEALOT]: <3<3<3<3<3<3
[LANCEALOT]: Judging by your username katie i bet you like earths lovely cryptids? i do too~~
[LANCEALOT]: Oh it says cryptic…
[LANCEALOT]: Not cryptid…
[LANCEALOT]: CLOSE ENOUGH!!!
[LANCEALOT]: Most of them here focus on aliens and space and im like
[LANCEALOT]: Space is cool and all but wont you guys get super homesick if you leave?
[LANCEALOT]: I could never leave my mom.
[Hunkydory1]: lance is a bit of momma’s boy
[LANCEALOT]: Hell yeah i am i dont care who knows that! i love my mom<3<3<3<3
[crypticsweetie]: i think aliens are super duper cool :DD but the cool creatures on earth are even better
[crypticsweetie]: cause we can discover them from our own homes!!!
[LANCEALOT]: SEE?!!!?!?!? THATS EXACTLY WHAT I SAY!!!!
[LANCEALOT]: Keith says im lazy for thinking that but PLBTTTTTT to him
[crypticsweetie]: plbtttttt??????
[LANCEALOT]: You know like a fart noise???
[crypticsweetie]: oh!!! lololololol youre funny^^
[Hunkydory1]: oh no.
[PidgetWidget]: She called him funny and lol’d at him.
[takashiro3088]: She’s meeting all of his standards.
[Hunkydory1]: run katie before lance tries to woo you.
[takashiro3088]: And that’s never pretty. Remember Allura?
[PidgetWidget]: I still have that chat saved. It’s a personal favorite of mine.
[Hunkydory1]: me too ^^
[takashiro3088]: Pretty sure we all do. It’s a classic.
[LANCEALOT]: SOME FRIENDS YOU ARE.
[LANCEALOT]: Anyway katie dont listen to them they dont know what theyre talking about!!!!!!
[crypticsweetie]: don’t worry lance im on ur side :3c
[LANCEALOT]: Glad to know a stranger is on my side and not my friends.
[LANCEALOT]: Even if this is a situation that doesnt really NEED sides……..
[LANCEALOT]: The sentiment is there<2
[LANCEALOT]: <3*
[crypticsweetie]: <3
[LANCEALOT]: :O !
[Hunkydory1]: anyways I think im gonna get off its really late here and I need sleeeeeep
[PidgetWidget]: I have school in a few. I guess I should sleep for an hour of that. Night guys.
[ PidgetWidget has left the chatroom! ]
[ Hunkdory1 has left the chatroom! ]
[takashiro3088]: I have an early shift tomorrow so I guess I should follow the rest of them. Goodnight!
[takashiro3088]: Nice meeting you Katie! Hope to see you around here again!
[ takashiro3088 has left the chatroom! ]
[LANCEALOT]: And then there were two~! Lolololol
[LANCEALOT]: ACTUALLY….
[LANCEALOT]: I should go too. Its like really late in my time zone and i have an eight am class rip me
[LANCEALOT]: But i dont wanna stop talking to my new friend awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
[crypticsweetie]: well i could pm you?^3^
[LANCEALOT]: Yeah feel free to slide into my pms~
[ LANCEALOT has left the chatroom! ]
[ crypticsweetie has left the chatroom! ]
10-5-16 – 12:32am – alteansociety.com/inbox/new-message
[TO]: LANCEALOT
[FROM]: crypticsweetie
[SUBJECT]: hi lance^^
[TIME]: 12:32am
[MSG]: hey its me katie!! from the group chat….um yeah^^ i really liked talking to you. you seem really sweet and down to earth. like me! love earth<3 whats your fave cryptid? mine’s bigfoot! yeah i know its really basic…but I love the classics! simplicity is my fave. c:
MESSAGE SENT
MESSAGE RECEIVED
[TO]: crypticsweetie
[FROM]: LANCEALOT
[SUBJECT]: hi lance^^ (CONT)
[TIME]: 12:40am
[MSG]: I couldnt forget you already katie~~ hey down to earth girls are my favorite ;)<3 i would never knock a classic like bigfoot! hes up on my top fives FOR SURE. My personal favorite is the dover demon! cause its rumored that it could be an alien so its like a mix of both of a normal cryptid and alien I GUESs???? i love it plus the dover demon is super scary. i love the scary, monstrous kinda cryptids!!! I like to think other planets have their own cryptids. i mean theyd be aliens to us still, but were aliens to them!!
[TO]: LANCEALOT
[FROM]: crypticsweetie
[SUBJECT]: hi lance^^ (CONT)
[TIME]: 12:43am
[MSG]: i think youre totally right lance!! i mean its kinda impossible to discover EVERY species ever right? even if these aliens are suuuuuper smart!!! wouldnt it be funny if their cryptids were more humanoid lololololol^^ well why don’t you tell me more about yourself lance!:33
MESSAGE SENT
10-5-16 – 12:44am – Keith’s Dorm Room
Keith was still smiling as he rolled away from his desk. So far the plan was working and no one was suspicious at all. It was weird for him to type outside his own quirk and being called ‘Katie’ and being referenced to as a girl was definitely weird to him. But it’s all something he can and will adjust to.
He powered down his computer and stood up, stretching and yawning. He had a class at nine so he figured it was time to go to sleep. Keith would just reply to Lance in the morning if he had time before class. He climbed into his raised bed and put his phone on the charger. Keith set all of his alarms before snuggling under his blankets, closing his eyes and falling asleep. Where he had the best dream about Lance. As always.