Chapter Text
"You are so screwed."
Tony tilted his head to look at Rhodey. It was late at night. They were reclining on the lounge chairs on the penthouse balcony. Tony had picked the location after holding up a couple of Cohiba 1966 cigars in a suggestion for how to cap off their evening.
"Literally or metaphorically?" Tony asked. "Because it's both, I mean obviously, but what angle are you taking on this?"
"Metaphorical," Rhodey told him. He pulled smoke into his mouth, savoring the coffee and leather taste of the tobacco before blowing it out again. "Figured literal was always a given with you."
Tony tipped the hand holding his cigar towards Rhodey in agreement. "Very true. Price of fame, beauty, and all around awesomeness. As for metaphorical - well no thanks to you. Or thanks to you. I'm losing the double negatives there but my point is you get the blame."
"The hell did I do?" Rhodey asked.
"Uh, talked to my boyfriend without my permission?" Tony shot back. Then he winced. "And I did not just say - "
"Boooooyfriend," Rhodey sang out, making sure to pitch it on a high note. "Tony has a boooooooooy - "
"Shut up."
"So screwed," Rhodey told him. The grin was not going to leave his face anytime soon.
"Hope you weren't too fond of being able to go to the bathroom inside of War Machine," Tony said. "Because guess what feature just got disabled?"
"What's it like finding out you're a real boy after all?" Rhodey asked.
"I've decided I no longer like you," Tony said. He adjusted the back of his lounge chair so he faced the sky instead of Rhodey. "Keep it up and this decision will become retroactive."
"Tony and Bruce, sitting in a - "
"Fuck you. I mean this on a deep and spiritual level. Truly."
Rhodey snickered. He sat back and watched the flashing lights of a plane as it headed away from La Guardia. A breeze swirled around them, carrying with it the sounds of traffic from the street below.
"Did he say if he liked me at all?" Tony asked.
"So screwed," Rhodey replied, and refused to answer anything beyond that.