Removing "Splash" from Functionist influence 👍
Burninating a Functionist for the cover story👍👍🤗
The fall of Iacon with the desperation/excitement of the finished tests of the Ark and then the immediate pivot into loading *everything* into the ship was quite impactful and stressful even without considering the Jazz-disaster! The final scenes were so cinematic (sprinting for the Ark, grabbing the last few people even as they're already taking off, Deadlock watching them go) and also sad. I think I get what you mean about it being a relief in a way, like life can go on now that they aren't all trapped like mice in a bucket.
"Adonys": Yeah, he definitely just happened to be there. There's no way I just lured this guy in for the sole intent of a little emotionally cathartic murder.
Me, the author: Okay, but you are dependent on the outcome of this mission being getting away scot-free, so would you actually risk this guy having a chance to summon backup? Like you are a medic, presumably if you got the drop on him, you could just disable his comms but still. That's a risky move when you have a lot riding on this whole mission.
"Adonys": ...
Me: Or are you lying to me in order to make yourself look cooler?
"Adonys": Well, if you can't answer that, we'll never know what actually happened. Anyways, bye!
Characters are sometimes very, very helpful...
The Fall of Iacon was just this whole mixed bag of emotions for me. I've been evacuated from wildfires a few times, and they're weird because depending on how they move around you, it can truly be this period of knowing an evacuation is probably coming, preparing, and then just having to sit around and wait, combined with when the order actually comes down and suddenly you're loading up the car and sprinting out the door. But at least most of them have survived, and they know that they, and everything they're leaving behind, will never be the same again no matter what happens.
And then in the middle of all that going on, I tried to fix Jazz's emotional problems by dropping a building on him. This man is doing So Great, Mentally. Just Fine. That's why the building had to fall onto him.
Adonys is just that good, of course! It's not endangering mission success if you know you can pull it off lol
Also the name is *chef's kiss* Yes of course KO is going undercover as "Adonis", he has a healthy self-esteem.
I'm glad you have survived the wildfires!! You seriously did capture that tension/waiting followed by the rush super well in your writing. It seems like a very stressful event, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that multiple times.
they, and everything they're leaving behind, will never be the same again no matter what happens.
Going to be thinking about that for a while now...
Jazz was doing A++ O.K., and that's how you knew he could easily survive that building! Shrugged it right off no problem at all! (Poor Prowl going "He's saying what???")
Comment on as babylon fell
zestyScud on Chapter 11 Mon 10 Nov 2025 05:35AM UTC
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hips_of_steel on Chapter 11 Mon 10 Nov 2025 04:53PM UTC
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zestyScud on Chapter 11 Fri 14 Nov 2025 02:01AM UTC
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