OK this is great, Aizawa being called out for his egregious methods, granted you don't seem to realise the severity of his expulsions in Japanese society but I'm assuming you'll lean into that later. You really love to see it.
Some DadMight to soothe the heart while also effectively roasting him without downplaying his faults or accomplishments never seen that but I need more, please give me more good Sir/Madam.
You have created chaos by including Nezu in Izuku's education......good.
Your version of Torino is giving me "Terence Fletcher if he was in the hero industry" vibes, but also good person vibes for some reason. (Search him up if you don't know who that is he is terrifying as a teacher)
Hello Lord_Raine's mother, don't worry I'm drinking my water.
Yay, worldbuilding. Something I feel like Horikoshi would have been good at if he ever bothered to do so.
I really hope you aren't one of those Endeavour haters/Dabi kinnies cause say what you will about Horikoshi's writing he did Endeavour's redemption amazingly. Plus I don't get the love for Dabi, most of his stans like to ignore the fact he smells like burnt flesh and act like he's this awesome badboy who loves his family, ignoring his psycopthic tendencies and the fact he literally put his body back together through hate and insanity against his family.
Now this was great writing in almost every aspect especially the Quirk Science parts, but one small pet peeve. You clearly lost your middle school spelling bee, because its spelled princiPAL not princiPLE.
Anyway great start I am hoping for more......and bookmarked.
Chapter one, Paragraph twenty-four, about halfway through:
"Toshinori took a long breath before letting it out slowly, watching as his determined successor pushed dry-rotted tires up the beach towards the parking lot. This wasn’t working. He’d never taught anyone before in his life, children or adults, and his application to teach at UA, one of the most prestigious hero academies in the world, had been pushed through with the principle as a favor. It was to help find a suitable heir for One For All from among the student population. An heir he had already found. He wasn’t going there to teach because he was actually good at teaching. Quite frankly, he didn’t know what on earth he was doing when it came to teaching children and teens, and the conversation about how to use One For All was making his lack of talent in that area stark starkly obvious."
Fixed. I also noticed a few minor mistakes when I went back over it myself, which have also been corrected. Several things were spoken of in the incorrect tense, and there was also this:
“Besides,” the old man said, jabbing a finger at the taller hero, “aren’t you supposed to be the big American export around here? Since when do you hate guns?”
The blonde huffed indignantly. “I’d use support gear and weapons if anybody could make some that don’t break as soon as I touch them. It was hard enough getting suits and shoes that doesn’t explode every time I move!”
The doesn't in "doesn't explode" needed to be a don't. And now it is.
Comment on We Are Here: The Emerald Spark
We5tVi3w on Chapter 1 Sun 07 Aug 2022 11:35AM UTC
Last Edited Sun 07 Aug 2022 11:36AM UTC
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VillainProtagonist on Chapter 1 Sun 07 Aug 2022 06:40PM UTC
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Lord_Raine on Chapter 1 Tue 09 Aug 2022 11:09PM UTC
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