Chapter Text
Fumbling with her keys, Uzi opened her apartment door, tossing her bag onto the floor as she plopped herself down on her bed. Too bad she couldn't curl up on it all day, she actually had somewhere to be.
Working on a project... At someone's house. Like people her age supposedly did all the time. Well, the normal ones that were actually focused on graduating.
The thought felt foreign. She stared at her ceiling for a moment, trying to remember the last time she'd gone to someone's place for something as harmless as homework.
Sixth grade, Doll dragging her across the street to finish a history fair project they had been procrastinating on for an entire month.
That was… what? Five or six years ago?
Pathetic. It was absolutely embarrassing. A whole half-decade of being too weird and unapproachable for anyone to invite her over again.
She sat up, peeling off her hoodie and throwing it aside into a hamper. The cool air of her room washed over her shoulders, a blissful relief from the heat trapped under her clothes.
She needed something long-sleeved (not negotiable in the slightest) but definitely not a hoodie. The worst thing she could be was sweaty in a stranger's house.
Long sleeves were a must, unless she wanted Noah to accidentally stumble upon her very, very bad coping skill.
Her closet was fairly packed with tight shirts and baggy jeans, almost entirely dark colors. She wouldn't be caught dead in anything pastel. She settled on an off-the-shoulder, striped gray shirt with long sleeves. Simple but cute, plus she wouldn't sweat the fuck out of it.
Right as she was pulling on some black jeans, her phone buzzed loudly.
Reaching over, she opened the notification, noticing she'd been texted previously… She must've not noticed thanks to her horrible walk home. Whoops…
Reading over his text a few times, Uzi paced in slow, anxious circles around her bedroom. Obviously he lived in a place with money, his sisters were the picture of spoiled rich girls... And Victoria drove her own fancy car, so clearly the whole family wasn't hurting for cash.
She hadn't even gotten there and she already felt wildly out of place.
What could she text him that didn't sound awkward? "Hey, can't wait to study in your fancy house that apparently comes with a gate, sorry I look like I shop exclusively in the clearance section. Was it obvious? Is that why your sisters were being really weird and judgemental?" Obviously it was obvious, God! She let out a frustrated sigh.
Okay, she was literally just getting into her head. Noah wouldn't judge her for her financial situation, at least she hoped not.
She still needed to figure out how to get there, too. One quick Google search later and the answer came in the form of a little walking icon: 30 minutes. Just her luck!
"Ughhhh..." Uzi whined, running her fingers through her hair with frustration as she slipped on some sneakers instead of her boots. She'd have to leave now to get there on time. At least she would be getting her steps in...
Uzi's small apartment paled in comparison to the house Noah lived in. Seriously, how rich was this guy? He shouldn't even be in a public school with this level of wealth.
She typed in the code, watching the light on the keypad flicker green as the gate slid open. She was exhausted from the walk over; all she wanted was to collapse somewhere.
Uzi trudged up to the door, hesitating before knocking gently. The door swung open, revealing Noah standing with a bright smile and an outstretched hand to drag her inside.
"Hi, Uzi! Come in," He greeted, tugging on her sleeve urgently like he'd never had a guest before.
The large door shut behind them and the sight in front of her made her jaw dropped.
The view inside was more incredible than the outside. A grand stairwell led to four rows of bedrooms attached to a long hallway and a chandelier hung in the middle of the entryway, drooping crystals catching the bright light above. From the floors to the walls, everything screamed expensive.
Just being inside his home felt like a violation. She was quite literally tainting it with her existence.
"Damn! I had no idea you were so..." Uzi's words died off in her throat as she gawked at the view.
"Hm?" Noah tilted his head like a confused puppy. He had been there for so long, he had almost gotten used to the wealth he had been surrounded with. There had been a time where he wasn't this fortunate.
Uzi shook her head and put her hands behind her back shyly, wincing internally. She silently scolded herself for sounding judgemental.
"I mean— I thought you'd be well off but wow, this place is incredible, what do your parents do?" She explained, suddenly feeling small. All of this was so out of the ordinary for her.
Noah's cheeks flushed red, it wasn't hard to miss with his snowy hued skin, "Oh, um. Business. Business stuff...?"
Uzi blinked, giving him a slow nod. She hadn't meant to embarrass him. It seemed better if she didn't pry any further, even if her curiosity tugged at her.
"So, where are we working on that project?"
Relief washed over Noah's face quite evidently as his hand pushed against her upper back, gesturing toward the stairwell, "Right up the stairs! We'll be in my room."
Her heart fluttered at the sensation of his palm. Man, this guy was so touchy.
"Easy on the hands," Uzi warned, the words leaving her mouth before she could stop them or make them sound nicer.
Noah jerked his hand away quicker than Uzi could finish her sentence, giving her an apologetic smile, "Oh, sorry! Let's go."
Asshole. It's not like he knew you didn't like being touched. You didn't say anything earlier.
Her legs were burning in protest from having to walk up the steps to his room, she already had to walk all the way to his house, this was just adding more insult to injury... Being polite would have to wait, she needed to sit now!!!
Noah pushed open his door, revealing a clean but homey bedroom. Not unexpected from him, honestly. The sun filtered through sheer curtains, casting a soft orange glow that made Uzi squint. How could anyone exist in a room with sunlight?
"Cyn!" Noah squeaked, bumping into Uzi as he stepped back. Uzi stumbled, holding her face where she collided with his back. "Ah, sorry, Zi!"
The culprit was perched in front of Noah's fluffy bed, tilting her head at the commotion.
"Big brother, why is she here?" Cynthia asked, wide-eyed with a strange curiosity. Uzi's skin prickled.
Once Noah made sure he hadn't seriously hurt Uzi, he turned to his little sister and ushered her up from the floor, "This is my friend, what are you doing in here? Get up. I thought you stopped doing this three years ago."
He pulled his sister up to her legs, moving to grab her cane perched against his bed and placing it into her palm. Cynthia stood, though shakily, and continued to stare down the unwelcome newcomer.
"A girlfriend?" Cynthia began with a light snide tone.
"N-no!" Noah choked out, "Just a friend. Project partner! Please don't get stubborn, we have to work."
Uzi shuffled awkwardly in her spot, turning her gaze around his room. It was clear Noah was trying to be kind to his sister despite her being a bit of a nuisance. She admired that. She couldn’t imagine handling her own sibling (if she ever had one) with that much patience.
Maybe that's why she was an only child.
His room seemed to consist of a soft yellow color palette and lots of dog things. More specifically, golden retrievers. Looking closer at the bookshelf in the corner, most of the books were about golden retrievers... Guess he was a dog person. Cute.
"Okay, I will leave. Do not forget to tuck me in tonight, big brother, you forgot yesterday and it threw off my routine," Cynthia moved out of the room with a bit of a struggle, but no less gave Uzi a bit of a rude side glance. None of his sisters liked her, it seemed.
"You got it, Cyn!" Noah called after her before taking a seat on his bed, "Sorry, Zi. She likes showing up in random places... I was so sure I taught her to stop doing that when she was thirteen... I'm her favorite brother. Come sit!"
He patted the spot next to him. Uzi nearly cried with relief as she sat down, giving her legs their much needed respite. She cracked a smile at his comment.
"You're her only brother."
"Still her favorite!" He boasted, pulling open his laptop resting on his bed, "I set up the PowerPoint with the title, we just need to do the research."
Opening Google on her phone, Uzi nodded and tried to get comfortable on his bed. It wasn't too hard, the mattress was softer than her own, which was a given. Of course he had money for nice things.
"Guess we could start with explaining what the heart is... It's a part of the cardiovascular system," Uzi listed, resting her hand against her cheek as she hunched over, pressing her elbow against her thigh, "Fist sized organ... How are we formatting this?"
"Hmm..." Noah tapped his thumb against the keyboard, "We're supposed to label all the parts of the organ. Plus some facts and what system it's a part of... And the functions."
"Why'd Mrs. A give us three weeks on this assignment? We could literally get it done tonight..."
Noah only gave her a shrug in response as he began to type up the next slide, "No clue, she's probably just being lenient, plus we're also starting early."
"For extra credit..."
"Yep! Besides, the heart is a pretty simple organ anyway... Imagine the group that has to explain all the functions of the brain."
"Ugh, yeah," Uzi breathed out, leaning back as she scrolled on the informational website, "I mean, I personally don't have a problem with it. She's probably had tons of students who procrastinate."
"Mhm! My point exactly," He agreed, glancing over to her, noticing her tense posture, "You look uncomfortable, you can lay down if you want!"
Thank God, she thought, sliding onto her back immediately.
"Thanks, I'm exhausted," She crossed her legs, raising her phone above her head, "School sucks the soul out of me."
"I can tell," Noah replied sympathetically.
Uzi gasped theatrically, pressing her hand against her chest, "Uh? Rude? Are you implying I look like shit?"
The boy broke into a fit of giggles, shaking his head, "Of course not, Zi."
"Uh huh, sure." She rolled her eyes playfully at him, turning onto her stomach as she continued her research, "Okay... Let's start with all the parts of the heart."
"Got it! Lay it on me."
"Aorta, pulmonary arteries, superior vena cava..."
Checking the time, Noah blinked at his screen. Eight Fifty PM. Wow. They were practically done with the first half of their assignment already. He rubbed his eyes, then glanced at Uzi, who looked like she was about to melt into the mattress from boredom.
They had talked about some things while working, but always steered right back to the assignment. Anything to get it done early and get it out of the way...
"Hey," he spoke gently, rolling onto his stomach beside her, "You wanna get something to eat? We've been working for almost three hours."
Uzi looked up at him through her bangs, brushing them aside with an awkward, too-tight smile.
How was she going to avoid this? She could lie and say she had a snack before coming there, she just wasn't sure how reliant she could be on his naivety... And she had also declined his lunch offer, surely he'd get suspicious of her. Why was the room suddenly so hot?
"Uzi? Are you okay?" His voice cut through her racing thoughts, the weight next to her shifting as he stood. "You look kinda dizzy."
She willed herself to say something, anything to save face.
"Yep! Yeah, uh. I'm hungry."
She wanted to grab a heavy metal bat and bash her face in. Every day was like an evil hell tailored specifically to torture her and it was all her doing.
"Okay, I'll make you something. What do you have in mind?" Noah offered his hand for her to take, letting her choose if she was comfortable enough with being touched. Hesitating, Uzi reached out and let him pull her up and out of his bedroom.
She couldn't say she even had a favorite food. Growing up, eating was more of a chore than something enjoyable. She only ever ate when she remembered, which was almost never, and when she did she was often preoccupied with the nutritional label, reading every little number listed.
It was so stereotypical, she knew so, and yet she would find herself counting calories of gum. It made her feel so stupid and cringe, she didn't even care about her health that way. The thought of someone else making food for her made her feel more nauseous than she already felt, now she had to tolerate it for Noah's sake.
You've barely known him for more than a day. Why should you care? Just say no, you fat ass.
She ran her hand on her face, trying to dispell the annoying thoughts. This was her only year to actually have a bit of joy, she couldn't fuck it up now.
"You can pick, I don't really want anything in specific," Uzi mumbled, trailing behind Noah as he led her to the kitchen.
The kitchen was just as fancy as the rest of the house. Shiny granite counters, spotless stovetop, everything neat and expensive-looking. She seriously did not belong in there. Noah tapped his chin in thought before opening the fridge.
"Okay, let's see…" he mumbled, half to himself. "I can make something really quick. I'm vegan but there's other stuff in here. And gluten-free stuff... That's mostly for Cyn. Probably shouldn't use those, unless you can't eat gluten either? Hm... Do you like potatoes? I could make some chewy potato noodles, they're shaped like mushrooms!"
He looked over his shoulder at her, bright-eyed. Uzi, still suffocating under her own thoughts, managed a weak nod as he guided her to the dining table to sit, "It won't be long! We can have a nice little dinner."
Deep breaths. Freaking out over one meal would worry him and that was the last thing she wanted, especially when he was the closest thing she would get to a friend... Maybe that was too soon.
Breathe. Breathe. Her hands dug into her thighs.
Distractions would work. Her hands trembled as she unlocked her phone, scrolling aimlessly through social media. Space out. Don't listen to the sound of food being made. Disconnect.
Her throat stung.
It was just food, but it was also a large meal she wasn't prepared for. An empty stomach was all she knew. An uncomfortable comfort. Her body could withstand a long time without food as long as she drank water... Her leg bounced anxiously. What if this threw off all her progress?
"All done! I hope you like it!"
Static filled her brain, senses overloaded with unfamiliar smells. Crying would make her look absolutely ridiculous, she knew it would. So she pulled together what scraps of bravery she had left, fingers reaching for the fork.
"Thanks, N."
Be polite, be polite, be polite...
Noah chewed on his own portion of food, enjoying his own cooking with a delightful eagerness, "Of course! I love cooking for my friends."
It took every drop of restraint in her to not bolt out of his home as she bit down on the potato. The worst part is that it was actually good and here she was, defacing all his hard work with her stupid drama.
One, two, three... Forcing herself to keep chewing and swallowing. Her first meal in days. No one was making her do this, no one was watching her and making sure she was eating. This torture only she bestowed upon herself. Her brain swirled. The urge to run itched at her blood.
Only half of the plate had been eaten before Uzi set her fork down, "I'm- I'm full. Thanks, man."
He glanced down at her plate, happy that she had at least eaten most of it, "Yay! I hope you liked it. I'll pack it in some tupperware for you."
Setting aside his own finished plate, he stood and found a plastic container to fill with Uzi's unfinished meal, in hopes that maybe she would eat it later.
Guilt sat heavy in her stomach. She knew the moment she got to her apartment, the contents would be emptied out in the trash.
"Aw, you made food and you didn't tell us?" Victoria poked her head into the room, exchanging a glance with Jessica who now leaned against the counter.
"Hey!" Noah greeted, snapping the lid onto the tupperware and setting it in front of Uzi, "we were just having something really quick. I didn't make enough for you two though..."
Jessica pushed off the counter with a dramatic sigh, sticking her tongue out at him, "Treating strangers better than your sisters, I see! For shame, N."
Noah only cracked a smile at her teasing, "She's my friend. Right, Zi?"
Uzi's mouth burned, the sin of consuming food she hadn't planned still ached through her body, responding without thinking, "Yeah."
Jessica twirled one of her twin tails with a finger, stepping beside Victoria, "She should probably go before Tessa comes home."
The tall boy winced, moving back to the kitchen to clean the mess he had made in the sink, "Oh, shoot. I mean, I don't mind personally—"
"You definitely will," Victoria butted in, "that girl will pester you for an hour about having a new friend. She's like a really excitable dog, except Australian."
"Well, I do like dogs..." Noah reasoned weakly.
Uzi slid the chair out behind her, taking the container Noah handed to her, "No, it's okay. I should go before my dad comes home."
She refused to look at him in the eye, her body still shaking from the experience. Uzi scolded herself internally, it was just food! Just food that would make her gain weight... Food she hadn't prepared. Food she didn't know the calories of. Numbers were everything, even if math was never her thing.
She didn't have to look at Noah to notice how he had deflated.
"Oh, already? Okay, um..." He dried his hands on a towel, voice softening, "I'll walk you to the door."
"Relax, I'll come back on... Monday?" Uzi assured, trying her hardest to sound normal. At least enough so that Noah wouldn't realize how eager Uzi was to leave.
Noah smiled at that, walking past his sisters whom only gave Uzi blank stares, "Awesome! Let's go, when's your ride coming?"
"Oh, uh... I have to walk somewhere first, don't worry," Uzi followed him, trying to ignore the looks from the twins. She focused only on making it back to her apartment, that was what mattered.
"Okay, be safe though!" Noah opened the front door, letting the shorter girl through, "I had fun with you today."
Uzi could only smile at his sweetness. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve him.
"Yeah, me too. Thanks for the food, it was great."
"I'll always keep a guest happy!" Noah preened under her praise, "Text me when you're home?"
"Totally," Uzi waved, turning her back to him, "See you on Monday, dork."
Once Uzi arrived at her apartment, she couldn't be bothered to take off her boots, running to the bathroom. Oh God. Oh God, why did she agree to going to his house?
It was such a bad, stupid idea.
She couldn't throw up, even if she tried, it would make her feel so dirty. Noah had been so kind with her, the only person to ever treat her as an equal in her Seventeen years of life, and all Uzi could think about was the food sitting in her stomach.
Maybe it would be best if they didn't meet up after school. Her mind buzzed with dark thoughts, her chest closing in on her. She should've said no, she could have said no, this was just like when—
No. Nonono. She was NOT going there. She wouldn't think of that. Dragging her body to her bed, she laid face down on her pillow, tears still burning her eyes. She didn't need a friend anyway. She would only get hurt. She would hurt him. She was a filthy, disgusting poison.
Uzi pulled her phone from her pocket. The sooner she texted him, the sooner she could stay away for good. It was for the best, he would thank her. Once she sent her text, his reply was near instantaneous.
...Had he been waiting?
She bit on her thumb, tearing skin as she tried her hardest not to cry. This was all her fault, she could have said no, but she didn't. At least she had the weekend to exercise her shame away.
Noah stared at his screen, frowning as he lay sprawled across his bed. Uzi's messages glowed back at him, short and stiff. She had left so abruptly... And now she wasn't responding.
He'd met plenty of people in his life but none like her. Cold yet sweet. Guarded but approachable... If you knew how to approach her– And beautiful, wow, she was beautiful.
Noah groaned, shoving his face against his blanket. He had already tucked Cynthia in for bed (while she was sixteen, it had been a routine she had since she was little and wasn't willing to give it up), leaving him with this unfortunate restless energy.
He hadn't meant to think of Uzi so much. It's just... Her behavior was so worrying. How could he not think of her? He festered in his thoughts, releasing another pathetic, muffled whine into the air.
"Oh Jesus," Victoria's voice rang from his door, "Are you really so messed up about that girl?"
Noah glanced at her over his shoulder before returning to his cocoon, "No, V."
The bed dipped next to him as Victoria sat down, pulling the blanket back from him. Leave it up to his older sister to be annoying.
"What's all this about?" Victoria raised a brow, "Are you upset because she left?"
Noah shook his head, reaching for his blanket, "No, I'm just worried about her."
She narrowed her eyes at him and frowned, pressing her hands on her thighs, "Dude, why? Don't you know the reputation she has?"
He tensed at that. He hadn't heard of anything about her in specific, he always avoided gossip or anything of the sort. He found it mean and just plain unnecessary.
"No, and I'm not interested," Noah huffed, rolling onto his side.
His sister only sighed, shaking her head. He was so frustratingly naive. She had no idea how he survived until senior year.
"Me and J thought you were just losing your mind! You just don't know," Victoria laughed incredulously, "That emo bitch is crazy. You need to get away from her, you're gonna get wrapped up in shit you don't want to get involved in. The moment you finish that project, you better not talk to her again."
"I'm not interested in your drama, V!" Noah scolded.
Victoria scoffed, waving her little brother off, "Ugh, whatever. Don't say I didn't warn you!"
"Yeah, whatever," Noah glared, clearly not in the mood. Uzi had been nothing but kind to him! Screw the reputation she had, he didn't care.
... But he'd only known her for a day.
He wanted to have faith in his new friend. She hadn't given him a single reason not to and yet, a tiny, unwelcome seed of doubt wriggled in the back of his mind...
Victoria shut his door, deciding Noah would learn on his own. There was a reason why Uzi had no friends, she wouldn't need to spell it out for him.
Noah peeked at his phone, in hopes that Uzi had texted him. His text sat, left on read. Noah grumbled under his breath. He didn't expect her to be conversational, although it would be nice to talk.
He'd see her on Monday. It was fine!