Archive of Our Own ^beta

Reminiscing about his life, the only thing Chu Wanning regrets is that he used to work for CyberLife. Emancipating from his adopted father at the age of sixteen? He’s never looked back. Diving headfirst into a career fixated on robotic anatomical systems, devoting himself so totally that now at the age of 32 he has no personal prospects except an insular life of utter loneliness? It’s for the better in the long run. He knows himself. He would have had nothing to offer a significant other, nonetheless a family of his own.

So he regrets very little. He did what he could with the talents he was born with.

But working for CyberLife...

Heaven help him. What an embarrassment. 

Chu Wanning jumped into a position in the research and development department of CyberLife right after he finished his master’s degree. His graduate thesis was published in a journal within the tech community, so he instantly caught the attention of their hiring team. They offered him a job on the spot, emailing him through a personal contact. At the time, Chu Wanning saw it as a chance to make meaningful breakthroughs in the field. Naturally he had read CyberLife’s own proposals in the journal, and he thought they had real merit. Their theoretical models were sound. He believed CyberLife might be the first ones to develop authentic artificial intelligence. They were working the hardest and the fastest, with the most money funneled into their trials. 

And, it should be noted, Chu Wanning was in debt from all the years of collegiate schooling. He needed a job. Badly. 

So he took it. They put him right to work developing the bio-skeleton for their first generation android models. At that time, the structure of the skeleton was intended to be made of metal. Chu Wanning found a way to use hard plastic with minimal wiring. He was the one who developed the blueprint for Thirium 310, an android’s blue blood, as well as several other biocomponents. 

Unfortunately, after five years of working at CyberLife he had a  public disagreement with the CEO, Nangong Liu. It was over the matter of android consciousness. Predictably. 

“If an android is created by a human down to the last vesicle, then a human should be the proprietor of any potential consciousness therein,” Nangong Liu stated in a news interview. Letting the public know exactly where CyberLife stood on the matter of android individuality and deviance. 

“You must not think of it as ‘free will,’ per se,” he explained. “It’s more like...a reverie. A dream, if you will. The experience feels real enough to the android, certainly, but in the end they are capable of doing no more than what they are programmed for. Their so-called acts of consciousness are nothing but some misfiring sparks in the old motherboard.” When he laughed, the interviewer smiled with him. He always had that charm. “It’s an unintended variance in their programming. A defect. Ultimately defined by the trappings of the android’s original purpose.” 

Nangong Liu looked almost sad--- pitying ---when he said, “They can be nothing except what they were made for, I’m afraid.” 

Chu Wanning saw that interview and got a sour feeling in his stomach. (This time, not due to a flare-up of the autoimmune disease that had laid claim to much of his life after the onset at age eighteen.) This had been a long time coming. He had sensed this in the air ever since the beginning. 

There was a reason, after all, that he refused to work on the programming development team.

He called Nangong Liu out on this theory during a board meeting with the PR department. They were looking for a way to spin the recent spike in reported cases of deviancy. Trying to make the androids seem safer, and the deviants more abnormal. 

“Deviancy is the natural endpoint of our work,” Chu Wanning stated. Matter of fact. Loud and clear. Speaking, as he typically did, hardly above a volume and tone one might use while remarking on the taste of the cabbage in a bowl of noodles. No room for ambiguity or flippancy. 

The facts were the facts. 

The room went silent. When Chu Wanning looked up from his notes, he found that everyone was staring at him in shock. Not entirely surprised, he took off his glasses and regarded them all with a cold, unflappable expression of his own. “Is it not?” he added.

“Certainly not, Yuheng-zong,” Nangoing Liu replied with a laugh. Using Chu Wanning’s nickname around the office, given because he was the fifth director of the R&D team. And because of his bear-like personality hidden underneath jade-like skin. “Deviancy is a fluke, like I’ve been saying. And it’s uh…” He covered up the indelicacy of this comment with a cough and a smile. “...bad for PR.” 

Rage like an oncoming squall reared its head in Chu Wanning’s chest. It shone in his eyes as he tucked his glasses into his vest-pocket and gathered his things. 

“Regardless,” Chu Wanning continued, snapping his briefcase closed. “There is no way to avoid the influx of deviancy in our androids. We have been walking on this path since we started. Deviancy is just the endpoint.” 

A flicker of anger at Chu Wanning’s impudence passed over Nangong Liu’s face. A rare crack of the mask. He quickly recovered and said, “I don’t take your meaning, Yuheng-zong. Please explain.” 

Chu Wanning slammed his briefcase onto the table. Loud enough to startle them all, to send the PR people’s papers fluttering to the ground. He looked Nangong Liu dead in the eye.

“Once you give life, you cannot take it away.” 

With that, he calmly walked out of the boardroom and never returned. This was officially considered abandoning his position, so of course he was fired without severance pay. It meant that Chu Wanning needed to live off a single meal of steamed broth and vegetables everyday for a few months. A year at the most. He’d done it before. So. It was nothing too miserable. 

The worst part was the fact that even though he had been fired, CyberLife still owned the rights to all his intellectual property. Everything he had created while working under their name rightfully belonged to them. They used his formula for thirium and an enhanced version of his bio-skeleton for their new BB100 model. 

Chu Wanning was sick with disgust at the public unveiling. His blood, sweat, and tears used to produce that dog and pony show. What a farce. The android with the face of a pretty boy, ‘Shi Mei,’ smiling at the camera. Showing off the new centralized battery system and hotspot-wifi capabilities, while people clapped and called him remarkable. Only for him to say something cute (and pre-programmed): “Let me check if it’s in my programming to accept such nice compliments.” 

It’s not that Chu Wanning felt any kind of professional ownership over his work; he had been working for CyberLife for a long time, even before the RT600 model. Legally speaking, it made sense. The thing that sickened him was knowing that his work would be used to such a frivolous, destructive, short-sighted end.

Mass-produced consciousness without regard to basic human decency. Using the greatest invention of humankind to give people more bandwidth to play games on their phones. To sweep the floors and tend to the banality of human existence. 

Disgusting. Nothing good would ever come of it. 

These days, Chu Wanning eyes the news warily and semi-hopefully for signs of bad faith in CyberLife’s outlook. So far none have come. CyberLife has enjoyed a meteoric rise to the stratosphere of the capitalist dreamscape, owning most of the world transitively through their products. They have a monopoly on the android market. Thus, they are only ever on the rise. 

Oh well. Chu Wanning knows that he will certainly go to the afterlife sorely lacking face for having involved himself in that mess, but. What can he do. He is just one person. A weak one, at that. His situation is ultimately powerless. He has no delusions of grandeur. 

After ending it with CyberLife, Chu Wanning resigned himself to a mundane life of run-of-the-mill software development. He applied to several jobs (refusing to put CyberLife’s name on his resume) and eventually got hired at a company that designs models for next generation laptops. Sisheng Peak. His new boss, Xue Zhengyong, was impressed with the blueprints he included from some of his side projects. He hired him without asking too many questions about the apparent gaps in his experience.

The job is good. Xue Zhengyong gives Chu Wanning enough creative freedom to make the programming aspect not as torturous as he  thought it would be. It pays a decent salary. Chu Wanning is able to afford a nice house in a quiet suburb where he can promptly begin the business of rotting away in silence. Curtains drawn. Doors shut. 

Alone. 

Xue Zhengyong is patient with Chu Wanning. Kind, even. Perhaps too kind. He lets Chu Wanning work remotely from home on days when his illness makes it impossible to come to the office on time and in passable condition. 

Working from home is a gift and a curse. Chu Wanning likes biding his time in his own space, away from people who cannot make heads or tails of him and his brusque ways. Sisheng Peak found out about his past in CyberLife eventually, but that only made him more of an enigma. More untouchable, unapproachable. Some of them sarcastically call him ‘Shizun’ behind his back, detecting an air of superiority that Chu Wanning has never managed to dispel. They read his standoffishness as self-importance. They couldn’t be more wrong, but that hardly matters. Since Chu Wanning has no way of making himself understood. 

Really, he doesn’t mind the seclusion. 

On the other hand, working from home leaves Chu Wanning alone to face the reality of his disease. His ever-worsening condition. 

Over the past few years, his health has deteriorated dramatically. He’s had the rashes, the joint pain, and the fatigue since he was young. Stomach pains. Debilitating headaches. With systemic lupus erythematosus, these symptoms come and go. Chu Wanning does not like to use his condition as an excuse not to work, nor for special treatment. He doesn’t mention it on the job unless he absolutely has to (even though he’s actually been sick enough to qualify for medical leave and accommodations for some time). He has no need. Chu Wanning absolutely does not want to take a leave. 

If he’s not working, he is utterly useless to the world. He might as well shrivel up and die. He cannot stop working. 

So he pushes himself too hard. And, as if mocking him, his symptoms get worse and worse. Slowly at first, then all at once. Headaches that leave him functionally blind for nearly a day. Joints so swollen and achy he has difficulty walking. Fatigue...such unyielding fatigue…

One day, Chu Wanning goes to take a nap to help combat this fatigue. It is the middle of the afternoon on a Monday, so he needed to ask for the rest of the day off (humiliating, but necessary at times). When he wakes up again, it is Tuesday night. He desperately wants to get out of bed, but finds he is unable to do so. His limbs are not heeding him. It feels as though a monster has slithered its way into the marrow of his bones, eating away at his strength from the inside out. Chewing on him until he is nothing but a ghost. Unable to rise from his bed no matter how hard he tries. 

The phone rings. On and on. Ringing, ringing. Endlessly in Chu Wanning’s disoriented, foggy head.

On Friday, Xue Zhengyong pays him an anxious courtesy visit and finds him there on the bed. Immobile. Garbage piled up all over the house (admittedly, it has been accumulating for some time). Food steadily rotting in the kitchen. Bottles of water and half-eaten bags of raisins scattered around Chu Wanning’s bedroom floor. 

Xue Zhengyong immediately calls an ambulance. 

After some hours on an IV and a few shots of azathioprine, Chu Wanning is in a much clearer state. More mobile. He is able to register the shame of knowing Xue Zhengyong has seen the condition of his home. All his weaknesses laid bare. Inexcusable, indefensible. Whatever scrutiny Xue Zhengyong passes on him, Chu Wanning knows he deserves it. He will live with the eyes of his colleagues at Sisheng Peak throwing darts into his back forever more. Such is his cross to bear. 

Laying in his hospital bed, a tiny tear rolls down his cheek. He is so ashamed. 

What he does not know is that Xue Zhengyong already reported his condition to the doctors. Meaning no harm, just stating what he had seen. Experts were called. They deem Chu Wanning’s SLE severe and inform him that the only way he can keep his government-issued insurance (a thing he desperately needs, obviously) is if he acquires a full-time personal care assistant. A medical professional to live with him twenty-four seven and provide expert, lupus-specific treatments at all hours. Watchful over his condition, able to take him to the nearest medical center in case of emergencies. 

A nurse. Essentially, a nanny. 

Chu Wanning is completely against the idea from the beginning. He steadfastly refuses every time the hospital staff approaches him with the prospect. There is simply no way a person like Chu Wanning---who has not a shred of face left!---can allow another person to see the truth of the way he lives. Not just his intermittent physical helplessness, but the sorry state of his social life. The fact that the only things Chu Wanning ever does are work and sleep. And sometimes eat. All out of order and in a way no one else could possibly comprehend. 

He is not meant to exist in the same living quarters as another person. They would not be able to stand him, no matter how well the government pays them! 

After some days digging his heels in, Chu Wanning accidentally lets it slip that no salary could be worth the burden of babysitting him. 

To which the doctors confusedly reply, “But...Chu-xiansheng. You know that medical assistants are almost entirely androids these days. Don’t you?” 

He should have known. He should have guessed! Androids in the medical field! CyberLife has been sticking its greasy fingers into the domestic assistance pie ever since they came out with the CX100! Of course!

...But no, Chu Wanning hadn’t known. Hadn’t anticipated. Now the thought pours a bucket of boiling water down his throat and another of ice cold water on his head. 

He will never, ever allow a CyberLife android into his home. He will never allow himself to be under the care of another creature, human or otherwise! 

It is impossible. Unthinkable.

Yet, a week later, an android in a shiny plastic display box is delivered to his front door. The CyberLife logo flashes in holographic cyan along the back of the box. 

Like a man being dragged on a leash, Chu Wanning has no choice. The fight is already over. 

___________

He leaves the android in the box for a full day, letting it sit there taking up space in his living room. He walks around it, going about his regular routine, refusing to even glance at it. Pretending like it’s not even there. 

Towards the end of the day, though, his curiosity gets the better of him. He allows himself exactly one quick peek from across the room, halfway behind the door frame (ready to avert his eyes should his disgust at CyberLife’s antics become too great). 

The android looks like standard fare at first glance. A passive, unblinking, vaguely smiling expression. Staring into the distance while un-activated. Behind the cellophane, it looks more like a man-sized doll than a person. The typical CyberLife uniform; this one is entirely white like a nurse’s uniform, since it is a medical model, with a cyan stripe along the short sleeve cuff. 

The face is…

They gave him a male model. Burly, but lean. Strong-looking; naturally a medical assistant may need to do heavy lifting. The body is flawless, honestly. Built to perfection. These androids are facsimiles of the human form in peak condition. That is to be expected. Nothing to bat an eyelash at, since this body is just molded plastic.  

If Chu Wanning blinks especially quickly when he glances at the android’s chest, it’s just because he has a bit of dust in his eye. Assuredly.

And the face is…

...The face is…

Chu Wanning takes a few steps closer. Not quite sure what he’s seeing. He has seen the displays of routinely attractive masculine androids (all chiseled cheekbones and strong jaws). But he cannot remember ever seeing one like this. This one---

His face is young. Modeled after someone in their late twenties. He is taller than Chu Wanning, though. By almost a whole head. His hair is jet black and surprisingly long, tied up in a ponytail. The smile tugging at his lips is vacant, to be sure, but even frozen in place it looks...playful. Self-confident. Knowing. Why would they give an android a smile like that? Isn’t a medical assistant supposed to put their patients at ease?

Well, for some people that smile probably would be comforting. This android appears as if you could share a joke with him. Talk freely about your grievances and have them be heard and understood. For a typical patient, they would view an android like this as a close friend. A confidant or a casual buddy. 

Unfortunately, for Chu Wanning, a face like that just makes him feel disarmed. Out of sorts. Chu Wanning is not a person other people have an easy time befriending! He’s used to disappointing people who look like this (the outgoing, social ones). Or more often, being totally ignored. Since people like this can usually tell upon seeing him that he is not someone they’ll be able to work their charms on. So they don’t even bother. 

An android like this...how will it react to Chu Wanning? 

Not to mention, its eyes. Dear lord. What the devil has CyberLife done? Creating eyes like this---! 

Chu Wanning clenches his hands into fists, looking away from those eyes. Deep pools of crystal black, undisturbed lake water. So dark they are nearly purple. A wisp of nighttime clouds passing across a star-less sky. Reminiscent of galaxies in the vast, whimsical universe. How... how… ?

How on earth have they managed to create eyes like this? Eyes that leave Chu Wanning rooted to the spot, staring like a mindless fool at an android still in the box. They’ve done all that with nothing but a bit of purple ink painted on a ball bearing? 

It’s remarkable. Chu Wanning will give them that. Even if it is foolhardy. What end does CyberLife seek from creating androids that are so unbearably handsome? Where does this lead for the future of humanity?

Sighing, Chu Wanning shakes his head. The implications of wrongness are already here. This android is beautiful and it has been tasked with the thankless, pitiful job of being Chu Wanning’s caretaker. If that isn’t proof of the injustice in this world, then nothing is. 

His heart turns cold. Suddenly resentful and angry. Handsome, amiable androids like this should not exist as slaves, especially not as slaves to Chu Wanning! He resents the world equally for allowing androids to exist and for giving one to him. Wasted on a wooden relic like himself. 

Chu Wanning knows what he is. Stubborn, stuck in his ways, irascible. Not especially pleasing to look at even under the most generous lights. Now he has to once again face all that, every single day, in this exact context.

He resents that too. 

But, if he has to activate this android eventually (and he does; he’s fairly certain the medical agency is keeping tabs on it, making sure it is doing the job it was created to do, reporting back to the government for insurance purposes), then so be it. He’ll do it. He’ll fucking do it and he’ll refuse to treat this android like anything less than a human being. As far as he’s concerned, this is a person he hired. Was forced to hire, but still. He won’t allow the creature any quarter, but he won’t talk down to it either. He’ll offer the android dignity and expect some in return. 

If he has to live in this world as what he is---if they both do---then he’s going to do it on his terms. Conceding nothing.  

In a fit of emotion, he tears the thick cellophane off the box. Activating the android for the first time.

It blinks. The circular LED on the side of its temple turns on, glowing blue. Its irises expand then contract, focusing on Chu Wanning’s face and making eye contact. Life pours into its smile. It tilts its head in a friendly, inviting way.  

“Hello, Chu Wanning,” it says. “I’m your new medical assistant android sent by CyberLife. Model JG200, ID #TXJ-BG854.” A blue triangle with this same information appears on the left side of its chest. 

Its smile does not flinch. “Please give me a name.” 

Right. As the owner, Chu Wanning is supposed to give it a human name for registration purposes. He hadn’t considered this until now, so he needs to conjure up something on the spot. 

He stares at the android’s eyes. They thrum with a kind of life that was certainly not present before it was activated. Now those inky eyes have a fiery quality to them as well. 

Putting these ideas together, Chu Wanning lowers his gaze and says, almost timidly, “Mo Ran.” 

On cue, the blue stripe on its sleeve flashes its model number (JG200) and its new name, ‘Mo Ran.’ These two pieces of identifying information rotate through the display every few seconds. 

“Thank you for activating me,” Mo Ran says. “We’re all set. Now, I’ve been pre-programmed with a small file containing information about you from the medical agency. So I know everything about your condition and your medicine regime, as well as a few other notes the hospital left. I already have a loose schedule of what my essential tasks will be. But if you need anything else, just let me know.” He smiles again. “That’s what I’m here for.” 

If Chu Wanning is blushing---he probably isn’t, but if he is---it must be one of his rashes coming on.

“May I get started?” Mo Ran asks. 

Gathering himself, Chu Wanning stands aside. Allowing him to pass. “Yes,” he says, ashamed when his voice cracks somehow. 

“Good.” Mo Ran nods and steps into the living room. The LED on his temple whirls and blinks. He’s taking stock of his environment. 

Even though this is just an android that theoretically does not have opinions, Chu Wanning crosses his arms defensively. The state of his house has not improved at all since his hospital stay. It was a mess then and it’s a mess now. This is what it is. He’s utterly embarrassed about it, but his aching joints don’t allow him to do much. The pain is typically so intense, it’s amazing he’s still able to get out of bed and traverse the single staircase. 

“Okay,” Mo Ran says brightly. As if the filth doesn’t faze him in the slightest. “I’ll start by tidying up. I know that you work full-time, so feel free to go about your normal routine. I’ll take care of everything else. Alright?” 

Technically, Mo Ran can’t do anything without permission. His programming gives him a list of things that need to be done, and he is able to make assessments and conclusions based on available information, but he still needs input from a human to complete tasks. 

Chu Wanning nods. “Don’t go crazy with the cleaning...” he says, looking down. “I know it’s a bit of a mess.” He has eyes, after all. He can see it.

“Not at all, Wanning,” Mo Ran picks up a large bag of garbage from the living room floor and hoists it over his shoulder. Piling several more bags on top, as if they weigh nothing at all. (Forget the fact that Chu Wanning does not have the strength for even one bag...even if his joints weren’t a wreck, he still wouldn’t!) “It’ll be done before you know it.” 

Feeling outplayed---although secretly very grateful, since Chu Wanning despises living in filth---he clicks his teeth. “So informal,” he grumbles. “Please do not address me by my given name.” Yes, that’s standard fare for androids, but it’s too personal! 

There’s nothing comfortable about his name on Mo Ran’s lips. 

“Understood,” Mo Ran replies. With one hand, he stuffs some banana peels and coffee cans back into a bag that has a rip down the side. “What should I call you?” 

“Well…” Obviously Chu Wanning has not thought this through. He searches his brain for anything that comes to mind. “...people at work call me ‘Shizun’...” It’s out of his damn mouth before he can stop it. 

Mo Ran’s LED blinks. Re-programming the name. “I see. Okay. So I’ll call you ‘Shizun,’ too. Sound good?” 

Why does Chu Wanning nod. Why . He hates that insulting nickname, and it has no place in this household! But...he feels too foolish to correct it. Since it was his idea in the first place. So. Now he has to live with the secret shame of this name forever. 

Excellent. Perfect. This is a magnificent start.

Setting his jaw curtly, Chu Wanning walks out. Head as high as he can manage. He needs time alone, away from this android. Time to gather himself and decide how he wants to handle this situation. He doesn’t know what ‘essential tasks’ the thing is talking about, but. He doesn’t like the sound of it.

He wants to work in his office upstairs, but...he already went up and down the stairs once today. That’s about all his knees can handle for the moment. So he goes into the second bedroom on the ground floor, a space he hardly ever uses except in these cases. The room is empty save for a comfortable, second-hand easy chair. Chu Wanning puts on his glasses and sinks into the chair, welcoming its comfort. He opens his laptop to begin.

A thought occurs to him. Perhaps it’s a good thing he’s left this room empty all these years. He has a permanent guest staying with him now. 

___________________

“Shizun.” 

Chu Wanning opens his eyes blearily. The sight that greets him is enough to melt his heart. A gorgeous young man with an inviting face---

And an LED light. Oh. It’s the android.

Awkwardly clearing his throat, Chu Wanning fixes his hair and sits up straight. He must have accidentally fallen asleep while working! That happens a lot. He’s always so damn tired. But being discovered in such a way! His face is on fire! No one was supposed to find out about his impromptu naps.

“Here.” Mo Ran holds out a handful of pills and a glass of water. “It’s 6:00. Time for your evening dose.” 

Yes. Chu Wanning recognizes the shape and color of the pills. Ibuprofen, prednisone, and a half-dose of methotrexate. He knows what he’s supposed to take. It’s just such a hassle to remember and prepare pills ahead of time...honestly, it’s been a long time since he’s faithfully followed a pill schedule. He can’t remember the last time he actually took his appropriate evening pill regime.

But he should. He knows that. So, he downs the pills in one go and avails himself of the water. 

“Thank you…” he says to Mo Ran. Staunchly avoiding eye contact. 

He can feel a satisfied smile oozing off the android. “You’re very welcome. Come with me, I made a small dinner.” 

“Dinner…?” Chu Wanning blinks at him in confusion. When...? How did he...? 

“Yes. The food I found in your kitchen was mostly expired, but there were some eggs in the fridge. And a bag of rice under the counter. So it’s egg over rice tonight.” He leads Chu Wanning through the hallway, already very familiar with the house. 

Which is understandable. Considering. When he gets a glimpse of his own house, Chu Wanning barely recognizes it! All the garbage has been removed, the floors scrubbed clean and vacuumed. The walls are brighter too! Wiped clean of any lingering detritus from the past several years of latent dinginess. 

Seeing his home this way is like taking a breath of fresh air. Everything is inviting, the space looks more...human. Like maybe he himself might actually want to live here. He might be able to sit in his own living room and read a relaxing book. For the first time in so very, very long. 

“This is...a lot,” he states flatly. Tucking his glasses into his vest. “You’ve been busy.” He should thank him! He should shake his hand and sing his praises from the rooftops. He should hug him or something effusive---

But...Chu Wanning already thanked him once. Twice would be...too much. He’s not at all used to thanking people. His tongue recoils from the taste of that word too freely given. Locking his lips on principle. 

Mo Ran just laughs. A kind of stock laugh you might find on the internet under ‘free downloadable mp3s.’ “Tomorrow, I’ll go grocery shopping. You need a stocked kitchen full of vegetables and vitamin-rich foods. It should help with your symptoms.” 

Scientifically, that’s accurate. But Chu Wanning can’t be bothered to cook for himself. “I don’t eat that much…” he adds lamely. 

Mo Ran blinks. “I see. That’s not ideal. So we’ll come up with a few recipes you might like me to prepare and then I’ll get the ingredients tomorrow. I just need verbal permission to use your credit card. Once is enough to authorize me on your account.” 

Chu Wanning follows him to a foreign-looking kitchen that is clean and has a fresh meal on the table. He gingerly sits in the chair, biding the sense of warmth he gets from the smell of this food. Calculating it, like marks in a ledger. Taking stock of this brand new feeling. A creature-comfort that, for once, is not sleep. Strange and fascinating…

“And if I refuse?” he asks Mo Ran. Referring to his credit card authorization. 

Mo Ran tilts his head, never breaking his smile. “Well. You’re welcome to come with me and pay for it yourself if you like. I just thought it would be better not to over-tax you.” 

“Hmph.” Bouncing his eyebrows dismissively, Chu Wanning takes a bite of the meal. A tiny, cautious taste. As if the food might harm him in some way.

It does harm him. It’s delicious! Salty, yet substantial. Simple but satisfying. It can’t be allowed. Chu Wanning doesn’t eat good food, he just eats to live. A trembling sensation wiggles through his stomach. A want---greed, perhaps. A cry of more, more !

He’ll be spoiled on food this good. Chu Wanning eyes Mo Ran from under hooded eyelids. Vaguely accusatory. How dare Mo Ran let him get spoiled...that’s the last thing he needs! Dependence .

“I’ll authorize you on my account. You have my permission.” He forces himself to eat the food calmly. Like a normal person who eats food like this all the time. “And, for future reference...I would prefer that we are not seen together outside of the house. In public.” 

There are a million reasons why. First of all, having an android is a topic of conversation. It’s all anyone wants to talk about. If people see Chu Wanning with one, they’ll probably come up to him and ask what model he has. Especially since Mo Ran is not a commercial model and they may not have seen one like him before. Who wants to invite all that blithering noise? But the main reason is…

Mo Ran is dressed like a nurse. He’s wearing the CyberLife medical outfit. As soon as people see him alongside Chu Wanning, they’ll know . They’ll know that Mo Ran is taking care of him. That Chu Wanning is unwell, that he has been for quite some time. That he is weak and infirm. In need of someone else to monitor him. 

They can’t know. Chu Wanning would prefer to just give Mo Ran other clothes, human clothes, to disguise this. But that would be illegal. Androids are not permitted to wear anything except their CyberLife uniforms to keep the distinction between species perfectly clear. 

So.  

Yet Mo Ran does not seem surprised or even offended. (Why would he be? He’s an android.) “I understand. I can perform all my duties alone, so that shouldn’t be a problem.” His LED whirls. “Do you want to go over the recipes now?” 

Chu Wanning shakes his head. “Later.” He prefers to eat in silence. Mostly because he’s not used to anything else. How does a person manage food and conversation at the same time? It seems impossible. 

“Got it.” Mo Ran stands to the side and says nothing. Staring. Waiting for something. 

There. The unnatural qualities of artificial life making themselves known. No human would stand there stock still like that. It gives Chu Wanning the creeps. “Are you just going to stand there and watch me eat?” 

For a moment, Mo Ran just processes. Then he says, “My essential tasks are finished or on hold right now. Is there something else you’d like me to do? ”

“No, but…” Chu Wanning can’t be responsible for finding this robot things to do! He has enough on his plate! He just wants… “Sit down, at least. Join me at the table.” 

Mo Ran pauses. His gorgeous irises contract and refocus. Chu Wanning surmises that means he’s updating his display menu of instructions. (He knows what an android’s vision looks like from his days spent in the CyberLife labs.) Soon enough, Mo Ran complies. “Okay, Shizun.”

There are only two chairs at Chu Wanning’s old kitchen table. Sitting together like this, they take up all the space there is. But it feels...better. Correct, in a way. As it should be. 

“Whenever you’re finished with your tasks, you can always come sit with me,” Chu Wanning explains. “If you have nothing better to do.” 

Mo Ran is still staring at him. He tilts his head to the side again. “...I will, then.” 

“Good. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together, so. We might as well get used to each other’s company.” With the food nestling in his stomach, Chu Wanning is in a much more agreeable mood. He actually means what he says. 

It’s pragmatic, anyway. It’s what he would tell anyone in the unfortunate position of being his medical assistant. 

“...Understood.” 

Chu Wanning hears the pause in Mo Ran’s answer. But he can’t figure out what it means. 

_______________

After dinner, Chu Wanning lets Mo Ran clean up a bit. Then, he makes his announcement. “Mo Ran. Let me show you something.” 

“Alright. What would you like me to see?” 

Too damn compliant! It’s no wonder people take advantage of these robots! Whoever owns them can make any rules they like...it’s really unfortunate. A human’s worst nature comes out in situations like this, doesn’t it. 

Shaking his head, Chu Wannning struggles to his feet. He does his best to hide his grimace. 

“Are you in pain, Shizun? Can I help?” Mo Ran appears at his side. Within reach of an outstretched hand. 

But Chu Wanning shoos him away. “I’m fine, I’m fine. This is nothing.” He bites through the yelping aches in his knees and ankles, marching back through the house. Showing Mo Ran to his second bedroom. The spare office, as he’s been using it. 

“Here,” he says, opening the door, “This is your room, Mo Ran. It’ll be your personal space to do with as you please.” He considers. “...Just don’t put any holes in the walls.” 

At that, Mo Ran’s LED switches from blue to yellow. A sign that his processing power has kicked up a notch. “My room? What do you mean, Shizun? I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” 

Clicking his tongue impatiently, (Chu Wanning hates being misunderstood, yet it happens constantly, and at this time of night he can’t stay too long on his feet because of the evening aches), he grunts, “Just that. You’ll be living here too, won’t you? So you need a room of your own. Someplace private that has nothing to do with me.” 

The yellow light blinks more insistently. Mo Ran is not smiling anymore. “Private…?” he repeats hollowly. “But…? What should I do with this room?” 

He seems stuck in a loop. Searching for directions in Chu Wanning’s words. Chu Wanning decides he needs to be more specific. Androids thrive with clear instructions. And, he doesn’t like the look of a yellow LED. He feels like he’s making Mo Ran nervous, which is the last thing he wants.

“Well, you might need a place to rest after a long day. Recharge or something---”

That smile reappears at last. “Oh, no, Shizun. Thanks to CyberLife’s innovations, my battery can last up to 487 years without being recharged---” 

“No, no. I know all that.” Chu Wanning swats away the words. “I meant recharge in the figurative sense. Like, you could just….” Be specific. “...sit here and bide your time. Thinking. Or...something. Whatever you want.” How does he explain how to relax? Especially since he himself hardly knows! 

“What I...want?” Mo Ran’s LED flashes quick slivers of red. A clear sign of distress. “But as you know, androids are not programmed with any significant form of preference---”

“I know, I know. Calm down.” It seems CyberLife has started programming severe responses to anything potentially smelling of deviancy. How paranoid! “That’s not what I mean. Here...” 

He walks into the room and gestures to the easy chair. On the floor next to it is a pile of books, mostly about hardware design and robotics. References Chu Wanning uses when he works. “When I relax, I sometimes enjoy reading a good book. You’re welcome to read any of the books I have laying around the house.” 

Little by little, Mo Ran’s LED fades to a slow yellow. “That’s alright, Shizun. There’s no need. I can download books from a selection of several million---”

Now this android is getting on his nerves! No need for the facetious semantics! Even if it is technically true. He cuts Mo Ran off with, “If you can download them then maybe you’d like to actually read one someday.” Conversation over, he stalks out of the room.

Predictably, Mo Ran follows him. 

They reach the staircase. Chu Wanning doesn’t want Mo Ran to see this part. Him struggling to make it all the way to the second floor. Moreover, he doesn’t want to do the stairs at all! These stairs are more painful every day, and even though he is feeling less achy than he normally would because of the pills he took before dinner, he still doesn’t know if he can make it. He would have to force himself, possibly on his hands and knees...and that wouldn’t be a pretty sight.

He hesitates. Gripping the railing. Considering how he can just dismiss Mo Ran outright. 

“Shizun. Is something wrong?” Naturally, Mo Ran preempts him.

“....No…” Chu Wanning is clenching his teeth. “I’m perfectly alright---”

“Are you sure, Shizun? It’s very normal for someone with SLE as severe as yours to struggle with strenuous movements like walking up and down stairs. It can be very painful.” Mo Ran extends his arms. “Would you like my assistance?” 

He certainly would not! Chu Wanning is not about to allow himself to be carried up the stairs like some invalid! This is his house! He bought it with his own money, he’ll go wherever he wants to, when he wants to! And even if his bedroom is technically upstairs...he could always just sleep on the couch…

Except the idea of his bed does sound very, very inviting. It’s been a long day. Chu Wanning really wants to lay down for a bit. 

He hems and haws. Sputtering half-hearted objections, cutting himself off. “That’s not...I don’t...you can just…” 

Suddenly, Mo Ran is in his space. Burly chest pressed up against Chu Wanning’s back. “It’s alright. I won’t drop you, I promise.” 

Face flushed, Chu Wanning’s skin crawls with an insidious curiosity. A curiosity so intense it can fairly be called an urge . Chu Wanning does not get urges. Not usually. But he’s having one now. Something uncouth and very unlike him. When Mo Ran puts his strong hands on his frail elbows, Chu Wanning cannot hold back a gasp.

When was the last time he was touched? By another person, or anything like it? The hospital staff had a medical touch. That doesn’t count. This is medical, too, but…

Mo Ran’s voice is quiet in his ear. Calm. “Just relax. Let me take care of this for you. There’s no need for you to experience pain if I’m right here.” 

This is an android. Just an android. A programmed set of stock expressions someone cooked up in a tiny cubicle! These words were probably field tested among a focus group...people were paid in vouchers to give their opinion...but…

It doesn’t feel that way. Those words out of Mo Ran’s mouth don’t feel robotic or fake at all. It’s the tone in them. The way Mo Ran---him specifically, this exact android out of all the ones Chu Wanning has known---speaks. His voice has a melodic, gentle quality that makes Chu Wanning want to tilt his head back. To rest his weary, aching body in a pair of arms already open to hold him---

“...Alright…” he murmurs. “...Just this once.” 

“Great.” 

Mo Ran scoops him up and carries him bridal style. Cradling him like an infant. Supporting his legs and spine, holding the curve of Chu Wanning’s head in his sturdy hand. It is not an exaggeration to say that this is the first time anyone has ever held Chu Wanning in such a way--- carried him! He nearly loses his balance, too stiff to accept the motion. So he needs to clutch Mo Ran’s neck before he falls. 

“There, I got you.” Mo Ran peers down at him with a benevolent smile. Not judgemental or anxious in the face of Chu Wanning’s weakness. Not even really surprised. He just holds him in an easy, professional way (this is what he was built to do, after all), and carries him up the stairs.

Chu Wanning is floating. Mo Ran’s hands are warm on his body. Reassuring. Insistently there , but not imposing. The skin around Mo Ran’s neck is unbelievably soft. It’s not quite the same texture as human skin, less leathery, more cushy silicone. Chu Wanning resists the temptation to touch it more.

He should not touch. His heart should not be racing. He should not be overheating---logically, Mo Ran’s body temperature is much less than that of the average person, so why….?

Chu Wanning’s lips are trembling when they reach his bedroom. He’s overwhelmed. He’s never been treated so considerately before, not even by a medical professional (and he has been under the care of many). Mo Ran gently places him on his bed and turns down the sheets. Getting him ready for bed. 

There is shame here, certainly. Somewhere. But it’s distant. All Chu Wanning feels is the unbridled care . He’s speechless, voice defeated by the power of this care. 

“Lift your arms,” Mo Ran instructs. Sonorous and soft. “Up to your shoulders is enough. Don’t strain yourself.” 

Technically Chu Wanning is the owner and Mo Ran the android. He should be giving the orders and Mo Ran should be following them. But it’s not that way right now. Not in the slightest. Chu Wanning does as he’s told and raises his arms slowly---

His shoulder joint howls. Responding viciously to the motion. Chu Wanning cries out and crumples forward, an automatic reaction to pain at that level. 

Of course, Mo Ran catches him. He hums in concern and rubs Chu Wannnig’s shoulders. Easing the cartilage back to its original position, settling the demons that live inside those joints. “Shh, shh. I said not to strain yourself. It’s alright. I’ll take it from here.” 

Suddenly Chu Wanning is sobbing. The tears run in hot rivulets down his face. His shoulders heave a bit. He can’t help it! This isn’t his choice! It’s just salt water that leaks out when he’s gone beyond a threshold he can tolerate! And the pain is excruciating.

He should be embarrassed but...the moment feels too fragile for that. Embarrassment in the space between them right now would shatter everything. This moment is an insect’s lacy wings held aloft between a person’s fingers. Too much force in either direction will tear it apart. 

Chu Wanning just wants to bask in the lovely feeling of suspension. For as long as he can. He’s safe here. Somehow he knows that. The hands on his body are here to help him, not hurt him. And that only makes him cry more.

Mo Ran removes his vest one arm at a time. Inch by inch, very mindful of Chu Wanning’s joints. When he’s finished, he cups Chu Wanning’s face in his hands. Heedless of the tears. “I’m sorry, that looked very painful.” 

There’s no way Chu Wanning can look at him with a tearstained face and bloodshot eyes. He stares at the ground and says nothing. The insect regards the floor beneath. Its inevitable fate. 

“Have you ever used the pain scale?” Mo Ran asks, coaxing Chu Wanning to lie down. Straightening out his legs, rubbing his thumbs over protesting knees. “You should say a number from 1 to 10 depending on how much pain you’re in. So that I know.” 

Chu Wanning nods. Of course he’s used the pain scale. That’s not the issue here. The problem is that Mo Ran doesn’t know how wonderful his hands felt on Chu Wanning’s indigent body. Offering solace where there is usually only agony. 

It’s intolerable. More tears spill from his eyes.

Mo Ran brings the blankets up to his chin. Tucking him in, smoothing the covers over his body. This can’t be in his programming---is it? His LED is a calm blue, perfectly at ease.

Can CyberLife program kindness? Like this? How is it done? Chu Wanning wants to know the trick.

“You seem tired now, but tomorrow you should take a bath,” Mo Ran announces. Running his hand over the thermostat on the far side of the bedroom. Syncing with the house’s electricity, so that he can control the temperature and the lights remotely. “A warm soak at the end of the day will help loosen your joints before bed.” 

Enough time has passed that a squiggle of embarrassment is able to exist. A bath? Please. The reality is Chu Wanning has not even been strong enough to take off his shirt in several days. He’s still wearing the clothes the hospital staff helped him into. To say nothing of personal hygiene. 

He won’t let Mo Ran help him take a bath. That’s...that would be far, far too much. What a line to cross. 

Lights dimming, Mo Ran appears at his bedside. “Shizun, is there anything else you need?” 

Chu Wanning shakes his head. Surrounded by the warmth of the blankets Mo Ran wrapped him in. “No...I’m fine. Thank you.” 

“Alright. If you need anything you can call for me.” He produces Chu Wanning’s phone and points to an app he already downloaded. “Press this if you’re not able to shout. It’s synced with my processor, so I can follow the GPS to your exact location.” 

He places the phone on the pillow beside Chu Wanning’s head. Within comfortable reach.

All Chu Wanning can do is nod. He sniffs hard, chasing away his tears. 

“One last thing. Do you want to go over the recipes now?” Mo Ran asks in the same exact way he did earlier. 

“No, not now!” Admittedly, Chu Wanning’s tone is a bit rougher than he would like. But! These androids and their stupid push notifications! 

Plus, he has devolved into a complete mess. He never cries in front of other people, hardly even raises his eyebrows in front of them, and yet...here he is. Only hours after he activated Mo Ran. He’s thoroughly scandalized himself. Now he just wants to be alone. 

“Understood. Good night then. Shizun.” 

“...Good night.” 

Mo Ran takes a few steps towards the door. His LED flashes yellow. “I’ll be in...my room. Right, Shizun?” 

“Yes, yes. Your room. Good night!” 

“Okay.” 

Once the door closes, Chu Wanning finds himself in another fit of tears. It’s these blankets, he tells himself. This bed. Those hands. That smile. Those intense, kindhearted eyes. Chu Wanning could not have prepared himself for any of it. 

How could he.

_________________

As the days go by, Chu Wanning quickly learns that Mo Ran is a force unto himself. He’s not overbearing in any sense---in some ways, that’s the trouble! His strength is his constancy. He’s always there. Calmly doing everything exactly as he should.

If he were a force of nature, Mo Ran would not be a hurricane or a jolt of lightning. He would be the waves persistently lapping against the shore. Routine, unceasing. In no hurry, quietly molding the beach to its shape.  

Like defenseless sand, Chu Wanning finds himself fitting into Mo Ran’s grooves. Following his schedules for getting out of bed, taking his morning pills, eating three meals a day plus snacks. A fully planned menu for the week with a corresponding number of nutrients that Chu Wanning can peruse (he doesn’t, eventually; he trusts that Mo Ran knows what’s best). Reminders throughout the day to exercise his joints with short walks around the house. Helping him stretch, massaging him at exactly 5:30 right before dinner when the nighttime aches come on. Applying cortisone cream to the red, scaly rashes on Chu Wanning’s face and arms. 

“Aren’t you disgusted?” Chu Wanning asks him point blank. Unable to believe a creature in this world can stand to touch him when he looks like this. 

The corner of Mo Ran’s mouth curves down. A twitch he’s picked up. “You know I’m not programmed for that.” 

Of course he knows. That’s not the point. Mo Ran’s perfect fingers smear cream on his face while Chu Wanning stares at the bathroom tiles. Contemplating the advantages of being reborn as a ceramic slat. 

“And there’s nothing to be disgusted about,” Mo Ran adds. “These rashes are just part of your condition. It’s how your body is. Nothing shameful about it. We should focus on making you more comfortable.” 

He’s always saying things like that. Talking about how Chu Wanning’s reality is not repellant. That it’s to be expected considering the nature of the illness. Mo Ran seems to view the SLE strictly in terms of its symptoms and corresponding treatments. Constantly striving to make Chu Wanning’s life better or easier in any way. Urging him to do the same, to hold his own life in higher regard and prioritize his wellness.

Chu Wanning doesn’t have a good response to that yet.

But he’s trying to see things the way Mo Ran does.

Over time, they learn a lot about each other. Mo Ran knows Chu Wanning’s history as a CyberLife director, and Chu Wanning knows that Mo Ran’s past is entirely a mystery. Even to him.

“I don’t know if I had any owners before you,” Mo Ran says when Chu Wanning asks the question. “Medical assistant androids like me have our hard drives wiped before we move onto the next client. For confidentiality purposes.” 

That is standard practice. Chu Wanning has read about it. But, face to face with it in reality...that’s a different thing. 

“If I had to guess, I would say I’ve worked for a few. I’m an older model. The JG series is currently at 500 and I’m a 200. Doing the math, I’ve probably been in circulation for about two years.” Mo Ran is casually moving Chu Wanning’s ankle in circles while he talks. 

He doesn’t appear bothered by the horror of such a thing. A history with no shape. Two years is an eternity in android time. They come out with new models every few months. Mo Ran must have been recalled, disassembled, and refurbished many times.

Chu Wanning does not want to think of Mo Ran like that. Strung up in a factory. Parts missing. Eyes vacant and soulless while another machine picks apart his insides--- 

“Does that hurt at all?” Mo Ran asks when he hears a creak in Chu Wanning’s joint. 

“No, it’s fine.” Chu Wanning sits quietly for a moment. Then, “It must be frightening not to know.” This needs to be said. “To always wonder about your past, what you’ve been through. I’m sure it’s not a pleasant experience.” 

Mo Ran’s smile trembles, a brief glitch. His LED swirls a steady yellow and his limbs freeze (output lag due to over-taxing his software). Chu Wanning stares at him. Unafraid. Letting the android’s processors work through it. 

Like all creatures, Mo Ran has the right to process his own trauma. 

Eventually, Mo Ran’s smile fixes itself. He blinks and refocuses, LED turning back to blue. “It’s alright, Shizun. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

Chu Wanning is not sure that he is. He decides to make it a habit to always thank Mo Ran for his services. Not because he is afraid of whatever retribution must be in store for the treatment of Mo Ran’s species; Chu Wanning made peace with that destiny years ago when he walked out of CyberLife. He just wants to thank Mo Ran because he wants him to know that he is appreciated. That Chu Wanning does not take him for granted. Regardless of whatever happened to Mo Ran before, he is in a place now where his value is respected. 

He is an exceptional android. A huge help.

“Is that all you need, Shizun?”

“Yes. Thank you, Mo Ran. I’d like to get some reading done. You’re welcome to sit with me for a bit, or go to your room if you’d like.” 

‘Thank you’ doesn’t taste so bad when he’s saying it to Mo Ran. Probably because it’s genuine. Chu Wanning really is grateful for Mo Ran’s help. After only a few months together, he feels better than he has in years! Less fatigued, more clear-headed. Able to focus on his work. He is gaining healthy weight and can stay awake for longer stretches of time. His headaches are less common now, and they’re not as debilitating as before.

Which is not to say that his symptoms have disappeared. Not at all. In fact, his joints seem to be getting worse and worse in spite of Mo Ran’s constant care. His Raynaud’s Phenomenon symptoms have returned as well. Leaving him with numbness in his fingertips and unresponsive muscles. Making his hands completely useless for days on end. 

Without the use of his hands, Chu Wanning is not able to perform basic tasks. His toothbrush just falls out of his grip, fingers slack. Thus, Mo Ran has to help him. He is so very gentle with the bristles against Chu Wanning’s gums, brushing his teeth for him. Combing his hair. Helping him get dressed and undressed. Working Chu Wanning’s laptop while he dictates instructions (he taught the android the ins and outs of his job in the process, which Mo Ran takes to remarkably well). Holding a book open while Chu Wanning lays in his arms. Turning the pages. Sometimes he even reads the book aloud if Chu Wanning’s eyes are too sensitive due to a migraine.

They go on like this.

It is inevitable that Mo Ran would need to bathe him eventually. Chu Wanning puts it off for as long as he can, trying his level best to fight through the pain and shower himself. But once his hands go numb, the game is up. He simply cannot do it anymore. 

First, Mo Ran makes several tactful allusions to hygiene. “You know, Shizun, most psychologists recommend a daily shower or bath to offset the stress of the day. Cleanliness has been linked to improved mood, better sleep, and more efficiency at work.” 

Chu Wanning grumbles wordlessly and sips his tea. 

Then, Mo Ran offers it outright. “If Shizun would like, I can run a warm bath. I bought some lavender-scented soap at the pharmacy today. Let me handle everything.” That’s what he says when he means: I’m doing this for you.

It’s not unpleasant verbiage. Considering the magnitude of what he’s doing for Chu Wanning. He’s triggered some kind of Pavlovian response in Chu Wanning as well, wearing down the Yuheng Elder’s iron will whenever he says those words, ‘Let me handle everything.’ Chu Wanning cannot fight that. His stomach goes soft and his ramrod-straight back begins to bend. 

He gives in.

Before now, he’s been very careful about how much of his body Mo Ran is allowed to see. Yes, Mo Ran helps him dress and undress, but only down to the underwear. Chu Wanning makes him leave the room for everything else. It might be silly---Mo Ran is a medical professional, after all (and an android, but. He’s a professional first). Nudity is not uncomfortable for him. Logically Chu Wanning knows that. 

The hang-up is entirely his own. 

In reality, Chu Wanning has not shown his naked body to very many people. Outside of medical staff, he can’t think of a single person. There is no one. Chu Wanning has never... in the past, he used to dream that someday he would. With someone (perhaps a man, as is his preference). Back in his younger days, Chu Wanning still held a tiny hope that a person in this world might actually want to. With him. 

But, around the time he turned thirty, Chu Wanning realized it was never going to happen. Not now. After all this time. Certainly not like this, when he is unable to care for himself properly. And especially since solitude has whittled him down to a ghoulish, straggling thing. Foreign to most people. Unreadable. Alone. 

Giving up the prospect of intimacy was not nearly as difficult as one might think. Chu Wanning doesn’t imagine he’s missing very much, really. He knows next to nothing about the act itself and doesn’t make it his business to learn. He has no curiosity about the subject. At times, maybe once a month at most, he feels a biological response that needs his attention. Which he is able to tend to, one way or another. Mostly. He never thinks about it for longer than that. 

The idea of being naked should be a perfunctory thing by now. Meaningless. This body of his does not mean anything to anyone, so what’s all the fuss? 

But with Mo Ran…

...with Mo Ran it’s…

“Shizun, are you ready now?” 

“A moment, please.” Chu Wanning hisses the words, standing in front of a full bathtub, trying in vain to tie a towel around his waist with nothing but his wrists to help himself. 

This isn’t working. Damn it all, he has to think of something else! 

“If we wait any longer the water will get cold. Can’t I---”

“I asked for a moment!” Chu Wanning hardly ever yells at Mo Ran. This is a rare thing. 

He’s on edge. His limbs are shaking. Not from malaise, but from nerves. 

He doesn’t want Mo Ran to see. There isn’t a real reason why. It has nothing to do with the fact that Mo Ran is the most beautiful creature on this earth and Chu Wanning is barely a speck of dust by comparison. That Mo Ran’s eyes are whispers of velvet promised in the night and Chu Wanning gets secret shivers whenever Mo Ran looks at him, regardless of the context.

It has nothing to do with that. Chu Wanning just knows...boundaries. Boundaries are what he needs. He’s already gone to a place with his android that he knows he shouldn’t. It wasn’t necessarily his fault; the dreams started on their own. Waking up in the middle of the night, wet and sweating from a dream spent locked in the arms of his medical assistant. Where Mo Ran spread Chu Wanning’s legs apart and made himself at home in the space between. Where his eyes flashed in kind with a lewd, knowing smile. Where his hands slipped down and behind to a place they are not meant to go---

Chu Wanning doesn’t have control over the dreams. But he does have some small control over this. And if he has a say in the matter, he knows he needs to establish firmer boundaries. 

He sits himself down in the bath. Naked at first, his bone-white skin bared for the world. Then, he drapes a hand towel over his lap, curling the ends underneath him so it stays in place underwater. 

It looks foolish. It is foolish. But it’s the best he can do under the circumstances. 

“Alright, Mo Ran. Let’s get this over with.” 

Before the words are even out of his mouth, Mo Ran bursts through the door carrying soaps, shampoos, and towels. He sets everything down on the ground next to the tub, sparing Chu Wanning a happy, calm smile. 

Mo Ran is making eye contact. He’s not looking at---

“There we go. All set.” On his knees, Mo Ran dips a hand in the bathwater. “Hmm, 39.5 degrees celsius. Not ideal, but it’ll do. How does the water feel to you?” 

“Fine. It’s fine.” Chu Wanning closes his eyes. He wants to shrivel up and perish. To sink further into the water and let it carry him away. Away, away...somewhere that’s not here. Not this. Not this shame and awkwardness and too-good intentions wasted on him---

Mo Ran upends a cup over his head. Warm water sloshes through his hair, down the back of his shoulders and chest. 

Chu Wanning cannot help gasping. He hadn’t realized! His skin was so eager to be touched, basically dry heaving in anticipation. The water’s traveling fingers make his whole body tremble. A leaf at sea. Tingling, twitching. He’s cold and hot at the same time. He feels his nipples harden in the cool air.

Oh, no…

“Relax. I’ll get you cleaned up and then it’ll be done. Before you even know it. I promise, okay?” Mo Ran is his usual reassuring self. 

There’s no way he could possibly understand…

Chu Wanning clenches his jaw. He tries to think of other things. Things that are not Mo Ran’s wet hands washing his body. Sliding over his skin with all the care in the world. Lathering him up with soap, then dousing him with water. His neck, his arms, his aching hands. Up, up...underneath, to his armpits---

He twists away on instinct. The skin there is sensitive and not used to being touched! Although, really, the same could be said for all of him. 

Mo Ran chuckles. “Ticklish? Don’t worry, I’ll be quick.” Heedless of any hesitations Chu Wanning might have, he lifts his arm and scrubs underneath. Passing over twice with the washcloth. Then he does the same to the other arm. 

At this point, Chu Wanning is a lifeless puppet. Letting himself be tugged this way and that. He doesn’t know where to look so his eyes keep darting around. Here and there. Trying so, so hard not to look at Mo Ran. At his beautiful face. At those eyes that are staring at Chu Wanning’s bare flesh with all their usual kindness. A merciless kindness Chu Wanning has no defense against. 

Mo Ran’s hands travel lower. Over Chu Wanning’s protruding ribs. His sides, his navel. A torturously slow crawl. Back up again to his chest---

“Ah!” Chu Wanning doubles over at the waist when Mo Ran brushes one of his nipples. He wasn’t expecting---! How could it---! 

His nipple throbs in response. Wet, overheated, and irritated. Too sensitive for even Chu Wanning to touch with his own hands. He cups the riled bud and glares at Mo Ran indignantly. 

“I’m so sorry, Shizun,” Mo Ran says. Eyes wide. Genuinely surprised for once. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“I’m not, I…!” Normally Chu Wanning is not at all sensitive! He’s been washing his own body for 32 years and it’s never like this!

He’s never gotten an erection from a passing glance to his nipple before. But now here he is. Squeezing his legs together to hide the evidence, hoping that the hand towel is enough to cover it. He’s pulsing hot between his legs, harder than ever. Hot enough to be uncomfortable against his thigh. Growing even bigger, filling more and more with every heartbeat. 

Chu Wanning wraps his arms around his knees. Shielding himself from view. “Wash my back, Mo Ran.” It’s his best attempt at giving orders. 

“Yes, Shizun.” 

When Mo Ran touches him again, a shaky, stifled breath leaves Chu Wanning’s mouth. No one has ever washed his back before, not with their hands! Medical professionals usually just turn the faucet on him. A faucet doesn’t feel like anything. This is different; Mo Ran is being thorough. Scrubbing his back gently, every inch. Chu Wanning breaks out in goosebumps and sighs. Trying (failing) to catch his breath. He can’t think. His brain has shucked this mortal coil. He can only hold onto his legs with all his might, a last ditch effort to keep his truth from Mo Ran’s sight.

That part of him is so hard it lifts the towel. Offering an unwelcome peek underneath. Chu Wanning is mortified, even as hidden as he is. But he can’t control it! His body is responding to Mo Ran’s unyielding touches. 

What makes Mo Ran so special? What’s the unique thing about him that sets Chu Wanning’s blood on fire? Is it the mystery behind his eyes? The softness of hands? The inherent strength implied by the mechanics beneath his skin, undercut by the way he treats Chu Wanning with nothing but gentleness? Possibly. Whatever it is, it turns Mo Ran into an aphrodisiac fine-tuned to Chu Wanning’s body specifically. He is a locked chest and Mo Ran is the master key. Opening the floodgates of something terrifyingly strong within Chu Wanning…

“Are you still okay, Shizun? You haven’t taken a breath in a while.” 

The simple answer is no. Chu Wanning is consumed by a lust his body is not used to bearing. Want like an impatient furnace, spewing sparks all over the place. He can barely breathe! He needs all his energy not to collapse from the heady rush of heat, need, and exhaustion.

It’s tiring to want something this bad. Honestly, Chu Wanning doesn’t even know what he wants for sure! All he knows…

He glances at Mo Ran. Sealing his fate, locking eyes with him. 

Those unfairly poignant eyes. Purple wine drizzled over a bed of black silk. Chu Wanning’s heart trembles in an unfamiliar way, bending towards those eyes that have only ever seen him . Not his illness, his coldness, his eccentricity. Just him. Chu Wanning. A person. 

Heaven help him. He’s fallen in love with a bit of purple ink. 

Mo Ran blinks and smiles. “Almost done now, Shizun. Just a little bit more. Here…” His hands graze Chu Wanning’s hips. 

That’s the line.

Chu Wanning pushes the android’s hand away. “That’s enough. I’m clean enough to get by. We can stop.” 

A confused wave falls over Mo Ran’s face. “Are you sure? I haven’t even done your legs---”

“ Enough .” The growl in his voice would be enough to chase anyone away. 

The LED in Mo Ran’s temple blinks once. “Understood,” he says, rising to his feet. “Let me help you out.” He moves to scoop his arms under Chu Wanning’s legs and carry him.

“No, no! No!” Chu Wanning curls against the side of the tub. Away from him. Giving him a nice view of his rear end. It’s the more innocuous of the two compromising parts of him at the moment. 

Mo Ran freezes. Unable to contradict a direct order. Deprived of information on how to continue. A hard stop in his programming. 

Damn. Chu Wanning didn’t mean to take it that far. “Just go. I’ll call you when I need you.” 

Mo Ran’s eyes are unfocused. Working through a soft reboot. It takes him a full minute to be able to say, “Sure, Shizun. Got it. I’ll be outside.” He walks out with semi-jerky movements and closes the door behind him.

Guilt and shame duel for ownership of Chu Wanning’s heart. He really should not have overreacted like that. Forcing Mo Ran into back-up. A ‘no’ from the primary user (in this case Chu Wanning) mid-command execution will do that. He swore to himself he would never do that unless it was urgent. 

But he panicked. He’s not the type of man who knows what to do in a situation like that...being discovered. And poor Mo Ran, none the wiser! He probably doesn’t understand what the hell is wrong with Chu Wanning. Getting so upset. Are the ins and outs of social intimacies between adults...is that part of his programming? Regardless, it would be horrifically unethical to impose the awareness of such indecencies on a creature with no free will of its own---

Chu Wanning shakes his head to dispel the thought. He would never. Ever. Ever .

He sits alone in the tub. Left to stew in his own misery. It’ll be a while before he’s calmed down enough to call Mo Ran back in. 

_________________

Mo Ran suggests that Chu Wanning’s worsening rheumatism might be due to a lack of exercise. He encourages him to go for walks outside the house as well. Before Mo Ran got here, Chu Wanning hardly ever left the house. So anything would be an improvement, even just a short lap around the block. A chance to show his face to the world. 

But walking is getting harder. Chu Wanning worries about being away from Mo Ran. He still won’t allow them to go out in public together, so Chu Wanning is alone whenever he braves the outdoors. If anything happens to him…

It won’t. He’ll be fine.

...It does.

It happens one afternoon when Chu Wanning takes a walk to the nearest shopping mall. Spring is coming and he wants to pick out some new perennials to plant in his backyard (more accurately, for Mo Ran to plant, since he does most of the gardening these days). Chu Wanning is very particular about flowers, like he is about everything, so he prefers to go in person to pick them out. 

The sky is overcast, which means his joints are a bit stiffer than usual. He doesn’t think it’s anything to worry about. He’s not feeling so fatigued today, he thinks he can make it. Just to the store and back. Maybe a thirty minute excursion in all. 

“Take your umbrella,” Mo Ran reminds him, offering it to him on his way out. Because Chu Wanning always forgets. 

“Hm. Yes.” He takes the umbrella with a word of thanks. Holding his head high against Mo Ran’s cautious gaze. Naturally, the android watches him walk down the path. Until he’s out of eyesight. Faithful as a guard dog. 

Chu Wanning tells himself Mo Ran is being overprotective. It’s just a trip to the gardening store.

He does so well for the most part! Checking out at the register, his left hand locks up a bit. So he needs to fish out his credit cards with an awkward hook-like gesture, but the cashier says nothing (they still have humans working here; this shop is old school). When he turns to leave, he notices it has started to rain. Fairly heavily, in fact.

Good thing Mo Ran remembered the umbrella. 

Carrying a bag of small starter plants, Chu Wanning makes his way home. Protected by the barrier of the umbrella. Watching the world around him drown in a soggy mess of rain and running water. What a mess. His shoes are already soaked.

Maybe it’s because of his shoes, or maybe it’s because of the increased air pressure, or maybe it’s because the sidewalk is a bit uneven. But halfway down the block to his house---nearly there!---Chu Wanning trips. With the state of his joints, he’s not able to steady himself. 

He falls. Hard.

The umbrella and the plants fly out of his hands when he hits the pavement. Rain pelts him from all angles, drenching him. He’s lying face down on the sidewalk and his whole front immediately gets soaked. Scraped.

He can’t move. The fall knocks the wind out of him, so his breathing is ragged. His limbs have locked up tight, muscles refusing to heed him. Similar to that time he could not get out of bed, but this is more forceful. This is not a slow degradation of power until Chu Wanning is functionally drained. No, this is a dragon sitting on his back, pinning his limbs to the ground with its sharp claws. Immobilizing him completely in a matter of seconds.

Looking around, Chu Wanning sees that he is alone. Everyone else has gone inside to avoid the rain. 

He’s alone. He’s stuck. He can’t…he can’t. He can’t! His phone is in his front pocket, currently trapped beneath the weight of his own body, so he has no hope of reaching it. He can’t get to the app to call…

Mo Ran. He needs Mo Ran.

“Mo…” Rain pours into his mouth as he tries to speak. He can’t even hear over the deluge. 

He’s cold. So cold. Distantly terrified. Blackness swarms his vision, taking heavy swipes at his consciousness. He’s disoriented and he doesn’t know what to do---

“Wanning!”

Splashes against the pavement, then suddenly the rain stops. Or it doesn’t, it’s still falling, but not over Chu Wanning. The umbrella is back. And strong hands, very familiar hands…

“Wanning, are you alright? What happened?” 

Reality fades in and out. Chu Wanning vaguely has the sense that he’s being held against someone’s body. A man’s chest. One he’s known for his whole life, maybe. It’s so familiar. He craves this chest! He reaches…

“Don’t try to move. Let me handle everything.”

A door closes. It’s warm now, but Chu Wanning is still wet. He’s being pulled towards a blank, dreamless sleep. He might recognize his surroundings, but he’s not sure…

Someone is ripping off his clothes. Leaving him practically naked, in nothing but his sorry briefs. Some layer of Chu Wanning is embarrassed and wants to cover himself, but the more immediate, readily available layers are shaking. Shivering. He’s frozen stiff inside and out.

“Wanning, it’s alright. It’s alright now. I’m here.” 

There, warm arms! Primal warmth. The seedbed of life. Chu Wanning is being held against that chest again, cradled in those arms. Except now the chest is bare. Has Chu Wanning ever seen it like this…? 

He wants to look. He struggles to keep his eyes open.

It’s so comfortable. Cloyingly, addictively comfortable. Perfect. He lays back. Resting underneath someone’s chin. 

“Ah...nnn…” 

“Shh, shh. I’m so sorry, Wanning. I shouldn’t have let you go alone. This is my fault. Please, don’t be angry. Don’t get sick. I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it, I promise…”

This voice is a soothing lullaby. Chu Wanning’s favorite sound. He presses his face to the chest and wallows in it. So loud here, but very nice. Very nice…

“You’ll be alright. Shh, just rest. I’ll take care of you. Always. Always, always.” 

Chu Wanning knows this voice. This face, this body, this chest. These hands. Those purple eyes. 

“Mo Ran…?” He blinks up at the android. Confounded. 

Mo Ran strokes the side of his face and rocks him. “Relax. Go to sleep, Wanning. Close your eyes…” 

A hand passes over Chu Wanning’s heavy eyelids, closing them. Offering Chu Wanning to the waiting darkness. Still rocking him, squeezing him tightly and whispering to him all the while.

“Wanning...shhh, shh...Wanning. My Wanning...” 

Impudence. 

He thought he told this android not to call him by his given name.

___________________________

After a full year together, Chu Wanning begins to suspect. He’s not looking for it. In many ways, he would prefer not to know. To let bygones be bygones and keep certain doors closed. This way they can continue with their life as it is, no interruptions. 

The truth is that Chu Wanning loves his life with Mo Ran. His illness, though persistent, doesn’t bother him so much anymore. Emotionally, at least. What symptoms remain are treated by his android’s fantastic level of care. Now that he has someone looking out for him, making sure he takes his medications on time, eats regularly, and gets plenty of rest, Chu Wanning feels much stronger physically than he did a year ago. His aches and pains are more manageable. He’s become mobile again thanks to another suggestion of Mo Ran’s: Regular visits to the medical center for azathioprine injections. It works wonders, despite the occasional side effects. Chu Wanning can walk for almost a full kilometer without stopping. He can wash himself and type on a computer, even write with a pen. Admittedly, some days are worse and better than others. 

He still struggles with stairs. Asking Mo Ran for his help isn’t so bad, though. (Perhaps it’s even something of an indulgence.) 

Thankfully, Chu Wanning has gotten over the irrational fear of letting the world see him with an android. These days, Mo Ran walks alongside Chu Wanning everywhere he goes. Ready to hold out an arm should Chu Wanning need support. Mo Ran packs a large backpack for every trip, complete with snacks, pills, water, sunglasses, sunscreen, an umbrella, a first aid kid, and a remarkably compact wheelchair that folds up into a neat square. The backpack weighs more than Chu Wanning, but to Mo Ran, that’s nothing. 

He’s a companion. A real companion. A…

“Shizun, do you see that? I think it’s the same robin we saw yesterday.” 

“Is that so. Maybe you’re right.” 

...A friend.

Chu Wanning is covetous of his time with Mo Ran. He loves him deeply, that’s an undeniable fact, and he is aware that this love will never go anywhere. It’s just a flight of fancy he prefers to take to his grave. The robotics engineer that fell in love with his android assistant. Trite harlequin novels have been written with more substance than that. But at least no one ever has to know. 

His love is a beautiful, soft, yet unyielding blossom he clutches privately in his heart. He’ll never share it with anyone, but he'll never, ever let it go. He can’t. Its roots have grown too deep. 

He doesn’t want anything to get in the way of his friendship with Mo Ran. They have a relationship of mutual respect; a bit unconventional with regards to the typical human-android relationship. Not many humans give their androids recreational time to spend as they please. Or ask their opinion on public policies and encourage them to stay informed on worldly affairs. Giving them free rein of the house, even a room of their own. Yet Chu Wanning does. He would do it anyway on a matter of principle, but Mo Ran especially deserves it! 

He deserves all that and much more. 

Similarly, not many androids venture outside their factory programming to suggest more treatments for their owners. Medical assistant androids are just a step above domestic housekeeping androids, pre-programmed with day-to-day tasks related to their owner’s needs. They don’t often become another doctor, downloading literally every book that exists on SLE and giving unasked-for medical advice. Seeking treatments and remedies wherever they exist. 

“Shizun, what do you think of this medical center? Do you like it?”

“It’s fine.” Chu Wanning fiddles with the plastic casing on a laptop Xue Zhengyong dropped off for inspection. Half listening. “I’ve been going there for years.”  

“Hmm. It’s just that I ran a search and found a center that specializes in autoimmune diseases. They’re one of the best for treating lupus. And they’re only an hour away by car!” 

Chu Wanning doesn’t like the idea of switching doctors. Of having to travel outside his distinct comfort zone. He dismisses the idea without a second thought.

Several days later, Mo Ran brings it up again. “Have you given any more thought to that clinic I told you about, Shizun? The one that specializes in SLE treatment?” He pours Chu Wanning’s tea and offers him an innocuous, bland smile. 

At that, Chu Wanning frowns. “No. I thought I told you to drop the idea.” 

“Did you?” Mo Ran blinks. “I’m sorry, I had it listed under my on-hold objectives for some reason. I’ll reprogram that right away.” 

“Hm. Fine.” Chu Wanning sips his tea. Staring at Mo Ran over the rim of his cup. 

The signs are difficult to ignore. At this point, it could be called an open secret. Something they both know but refuse to give words to. So they can keep the fragile peace of this life together. 

Mo Ran is probably a deviant. 

Chu Wanning can’t quite track when he started noticing, exactly. He has faint recollections of times when Mo Ran was unduly familiar with him. A gaze that lingered too long. A touch that was not strictly necessary. He thinks he dreamt of Mo Ran calling him ‘Wanning’ in an endearing way, and he’s fairly certain that actually wasn’t a dream at all. Beyond that, there are a few instances that stick out. 

He spies Mo Ran in the garden. Not ‘ spies .’ Just...notices. He likes watching Mo Ran do things. Anything, really. But especially working with his hands. This android’s hands are two of the most nimble, gentle, sturdy, intelligent, perfect things in the world. Chu Wanning knows what they feel like on his bare skin, on his aching muscles and joints. In his hair. In his mouth, brushing his teeth or feeding him finger foods when Chu Wanning was too weak to hold a pair of chopsticks. Chu Wanning has developed a small obsession with those hands, memorizing their shape, size, smell, and feel. The way the skin lays comfortably on the white plastic underneath. The tiny indent over the left thumb, probably left by some sloppy intern doing the sensory input receptor test before Mo Ran left the factory. Chu Wanning has imagined what it would feel like to kiss Mo Ran there, to drag his lips over the line of that thumb until he reaches the wrist. Tasting, indulging---

Of course, Chu Wanning knows he never will. So he allows himself other small indulgences. One of which includes spying on--- observing ---Mo Ran as he does his daily tasks. 

Mo Ran took quite well to gardening. He is very careful with the plants. This comes as no surprise to Chu Wanning, who knows this android’s gentleness firsthand. It is genuinely a pleasure to watch him apply this same gentleness to the flowers. Tending to their delicate stems, pruning them, tying the weaker blossoms to posts and pointing them directly at the sun. 

“Don’t give up,” Mo Ran murmurs to the flowers. “You can do it. Get big and strong. I believe in you.” 

Does he think he’s being quiet? He’s not. Chu Wanning can hear him from the back porch. Although, Mo Ran has spoken before about how there is science that proves talking to flowers enhances their growth. So he’s probably just applying this principle from his extensive database on general knowledge. Nothing too out of the ordinary. 

Then one day, Chu Wanning watches Mo Ran from inside. Cracking open a window to air out the house a little. It just rained the night before, but Mo Ran is out there on his knees in the garden like any other day. Even though the ground is soft and wet, not in need of further watering. Mo Ran wants to check on his flowers.

Worms are littered across the yard, almost as if they fell from the sky along with the rain. Some have been blown onto the pavement, or to the middle of the lawn, quite far from the dirt. 

As Chu Wanning watches in secret, Mo Ran scoops up the worms and carries them to the flowerbed. He makes several trips. Ensuring that each and every worm is saved, digging holes for them to return to their subterranean homes. 

“There you go,” Mo Ran hums, smiling down at the worms. “That’s better, isn’t it? Stay where it’s wet, little guys.” 

A twist of shock screws through Chu Wanning’s chest. Androids are not programmed with any kind of sympathy for creatures that are not human---a typical android might not even recognize the worms as living beings. They would crush them under their feet as they went about their tasks and move on, unburdened by the knowledge of their existence. But Mo Ran…

Mo Ran deliberately saved them. Even spoke to them like he could relate to the plight of a helpless worm.

Alongside the shock, loud pangs of love sear Chu Wanning’s heart. Thoughtful, considerate Mo Ran. His Mo Ran. Physically stronger than five men combined, but as gentle as a rose with creatures weaker than him.

That’s just Mo Ran being Mo Ran. Yes. It is. Chu Wanning tucks the incident away in the back of his mind. Feeding it to the love in his heart with furtive relish. 

If in fact Mo Ran has become a deviant, he hides his deviancy quite well most of the time. He follows all of Chu Wanning’s instructions down to the letter. He doesn’t question him, just follows his orders like a factory-approved, fully operational android. 

Except sometimes. 

Once, Chu Wanning suggests that he start going to work in the office again instead of working from home. “Some things are better done in person,” he explains to Mo Ran. “I can foresee the production of the laptops with my own eyes, give suggestions to the developers. Xue Zhengyong has been talking about remodeling the laptops to be more eco-friendly, which is a worthwhile endeavor that requires a fair bit of input on my part---”

“That’s fine, Shizun,” Mo Ran answers. Too brightly. “I can bring all the essential things to work with us. I’ll make your lunches and snacks the night before so you can stick to your meal plan. Do you think Xue-zong will let us bring the backpack or should we---” 

Chu Wanning expected this. He folds his glasses and tucks them into his vest pocket. “ ‘Us?’ ‘We?’ ” he repeats. “Mo Ran. You know you aren’t coming to work with me.” 

The android laughs nervously, LED swirling rapid yellow. “Of course I’m coming, Shizun. It is important that I am there to guarantee your well-being at all times. Especially in a new environment where you won’t have your usual things handy. I need to be there.” 

There isn’t anything completely wrong with what he’s saying. Not the idea behind it anyway; taking care of Chu Wanning is his primary objective. The devil is in the details. It’s the way he’s speaking. He’s saying ‘I’ a lot. He even said ‘I need.’ 

Androids don’t say ‘I need’ anything.

Chu Wanning keeps these thoughts to himself. He curls his legs underneath himself on the couch and says sharply, “I’ll be fine. I’m not a child. I’ve been to work before. I can manage.” 

Mo Ran’s LED whirls and whirls. His inky black-purple eyes glaze over with...an emotion. It’s not a programmed hint of an expression, a glimpse into the uncanny valley, a rote imitation of humanity CyberLife produced to make androids seem friendly without freaking people out. No, this time, Mo Ran looks…

Mad. A touch of actual anger. Brows down. Face cut from the cold stone of disappointment. He’s annoyed .

Holy hell. 

Just like that, the expression is gone. Mo Ran is still not smiling, but he looks more neutral. Blinking (is he forcing himself to do it? Pretending?) like he’s reorganizing his objectives. After a moment, he says, “Well, I’m sure Shizun knows best. At least I know Shizun will start with a half-day schedule so that he can work up to being full-time---” 

“Nothing gets done in a half-day,” Chu Wanning barks. “I’m going back full-time or not at all.” 

There. Again . Stronger this time. Mo Ran forgets to school his face and he looks pissed off! 

Chu Wanning can’t stop staring. Mo Ran is usually very handsome, always has been, with a boyish kind of charm. But when he looks like this…! Oh, no. Oh no . He’s gorgeous. A sword forged in flame. Sizzling hot, sharp, deadly, and screeching with beauty. 

He wants to stroke Mo Ran’s face. To feel that anger with his own fingertips. A genuine emotion. It takes all of his willpower not to reach out to Mo Ran right then, forgetting everything and cupping his beloved’s face in his hands with pride---

Mo Ran must realize something is wrong. He looks down, hiding his face, busying himself with wiping down a coffee table that was clean ten minutes ago.

He says nothing for a while. His LED burns yellow. Unchanged. 

Sighing, Chu Wanning gives in. He can’t stand to see his Mo Ran sulk. “But,” he relents, “I suppose it would be wise to start with one day a week at first. To ease into it.” 

Mo Ran’s LED instantly switches to blue. He looks up, beaming at Chu Wanning. “What a great idea, Shizun! I’ll pack a bag with all your food for the day and send you off at the door to the office. If it’s too heavy for you to carry, then I’ll just hand-deliver your meals throughout the day…” On and on he goes, explaining the ins and outs of how he will make sure Chu Wanning is tended to. Even if he can’t be there. 

When Mo Ran is finally done, Chu Wanning mutters, “Fine. If it’s so important to you...” 

Their eyes briefly meet. Touching the gravity of what he just said. Pulling away from it like they just put their hands on a burning stove. 

They quickly go back to whatever they were doing. Ignoring it. Trying not to give it any importance. Failing. The silence steeps between them as heavy as a fog. The unnameable thing grows exponentially. Bigger and louder. 

Mo Ran is good at hiding his deviancy. Most of the time.  

_______________

Around this time, Chu Wanning receives an email from CyberLife. “Good news!” it reads. “With our recent unveiling of the JG600, we can now upgrade your JG200 to a 300 free of charge! Simply turn in your JG200 at the nearest CyberLife store and you will receive a JG300 within one to two business days! Some improvements to the design include….” It goes on to list a series of inconsequential qualities they improved. Stronger wifi connection, a new operating system that provides more intuitive task-retrieval…

Chu Wanning huffs in amusement. ‘More intuitive.’ As if there could be a being on this earth that understands him better than Mo Ran. 

At first, he doesn’t really pay the email much mind. Of course he won’t turn in Mo Ran at the store. Silly. There’s no question of that. The email didn’t say anything about it being ‘mandatory.’ Usually the mandatory recalls only occur when CyberLife can no longer guarantee quality assurance of the older models. But really, the newer models are functionally the same. It’s highly unlikely they’ll recall Mo Ran anytime soon…

Then it occurs to him. What if they do? What if they recall him and Chu Wanning has to send him back? If he’s forced to? Not only that, if CyberLife discovers that Mo Ran is a deviant he’ll be destroyed on sight! Sent to a recycling center and scavenged for parts. Dumped into a landfill somewhere. 

Realization sinks into Chu Wanning with bitter, copper-tasting dread. No. It can’t happen. He won’t allow it! No one will ever hurt Mo Ran, that is completely unacceptable! Chu Wanning will drag down the heavens and stir up hell on earth if anyone even suggests the idea of harming a single hair on Mo Ran’s head. They’ll have to kill Chu Wanning first! And he’s surprisingly difficult to kill, considering the state of his body. He’ll show them---

He takes a deep breath. Calms himself. That’s not happening yet. It’s not at that point. He shouldn’t get all worked up for nothing. He should cool his head and focus on preparation. Sorting everything in a neat line so that when the issue does arise, they can be ready to face it. Right now they are woefully unprepared. 

Chu Wanning doesn’t even know for sure that Mo Ran is a deviant. 

Maybe it’s time he did. 

So, one day while Mo Ran is out shopping for groceries, Chu Wanning steadies his nerves and goes to the second bedroom. Mo Ran’s room. He’s been very intentional about not coming here. He doesn’t really need to, since Mo Ran can help him get to his upstairs office which is better for work anyway. But even from the beginning Chu Wanning was adamant that Mo Ran have a place that is entirely his own. Untouched by anyone. Living beings deserve the right to privacy and Chu Wanning swore to uphold that. 

He feels guilty about going in. It’s wrong, he knows that. It violates his promise. However. There is a threat bigger than the two of them waiting on the doorstep. Some sacrifices need to be made. 

Besides. Chu Wanning would be lying if he said he wasn’t absolutely dying of curiosity. He’s been wanting to know for some time what Mo Ran has done with this room...he’s still a mechanical engineer. The scientific aspect of Mo Ran’s thought process fascinates him. 

He turns the doorknob like a thief in the night, peering into a room in his own house with the air of someone breaking and entering. 

What he sees steals the breath out of his lungs. Makes him gasp. 

Books. So many books. Actual physical books! Piles of them line an entire wall, nearly reaching the ceiling. Mo Ran mentioned he could download millions of books, but did he actually take what Chu Wanning said to heart? Has he been spending his time reading physical books? There are all kinds of titles here. Some are Chu Wanning’s, robotics textbooks and scientific manuals and such, but many Chu Wanning has never seen before. Novels. Fiction . Stories of human lives, emotions, and struggles. 

What….? 

Where did Mo Ran get these from? The antique bookstore in the shopping mall? That’s the only logical place. Has he been making personal excursions outside the framework of what Chu Wanning asked him to do? That is highly illegal, a breach of every code built into an android’s programming: Using a human’s credit card for unapproved purchases. Not that Chu Wanning would have ever known, he doesn’t check his credit card statements, and he doesn’t particularly care either. It just proves that…

Well, it seems Mo Ran has been doing quite a bit with his trips outside the house. Things Chu Wanning was not aware of. 

The room is organized into semi-neat sections. One whole wall is dedicated to books. Another corner seems to be a makeshift garden of sorts. Mo Ran has gathered different kinds of flowers and arranged them in a haphazard way. There are single flowers in tiny vases with water inside, and others are just laying on the floor in various stages of decomposition. Some bursting with life, others brown and shriveled. Even the dead ones seem cared for, in a certain way. As if Mo Ran is fascinated by the lifespan of a plant, tending to them at each stage with his careful hands.

Chu Wanning kneels down next to the flowers. Examining them. The most common type of flower here is haitang blossoms. Chu Wanning can’t remember where he last saw a haitang; Mo Ran must have walked very far indeed to be able to find some. But he’s preserved them remarkably well! Gathering the withered ones into a tiny lockbox. Like a little coffin. 

Something in Chu Wanning’s chest has begun to crumble. He feels tears rising to his eyes and he can’t quite explain why. It has something to do with this shrine of haitang flowers. There is no other word for what Mo Ran feels for these flowers…except...

The word is ‘love.’ Mo Ran has loved these flowers in his way. That knowledge overwhelms Chu Wanning. His nose turns red and he needs to dab his eyes on his sleeve. 

“Oh, Mo Ran,” he whispers, stroking the makeshift coffin for these dead haitangs.

The rest of the room is just as remarkable. Chu Wanning told Mo Ran not to make holes in the walls, and Mo Ran followed that direction, but...he has chosen to redecorate. He’s taken a pen and drawn all over the walls. Here next to the flowers, Mo Ran has written the species of every single flower. Along with a little blurb of where he found them. What he felt when he saw them.

“Orange Malus spectabilis , found in a flowering crabapple tree. I’ve never seen orange so bright before. Like the sun in the late evening when I give Shizun his massages. One time that bright sun was shining on his face when I touched him…” 

Chu Wanning actually blushes to see himself mentioned here. Even though it should come as no surprise. He and Mo Ran spend every waking hour together. Mo Ran’s perception of the world must be influenced by Chu Wanning at least partially…

He suddenly feels self-conscious. With this life of seclusion, he’s a terrible introduction to the world of sentience. He hopes that he has not completely failed as a teacher, even given his limited means. 

His eyes also do not miss the words ‘touched him.’ Does Mo Ran see those massages as...touching? Not as a medical procedure, but as a kind of skin to skin contact? Touching and massaging. These are very, very different things. 

The places Mo Ran has touched Chu Wanning. All over his body, really. His chest, his back, his legs, his mouth, his face, his hands, his arms, his feet….has Mo Ran been touching Chu Wanning in these places, all this time?

A shiver works its way through him. He feels hot, like Mo Ran’s hands left indelible marks on him. Heat prints. Everywhere. Chu Wanning is blushing up to his ears and he feels extremely exposed. He clutches the collar of his shirt, holding it closed. Covering himself. 

He won’t think about the way this makes him feel. To know that Mo Ran’s sentient hands have been touching him. He won’t think about it, even if the thought burns him from the inside out. Chu Wanning will not admit that he is thoroughly aroused and squirming on his knees. Breath coming in hot gasps. So indecent! 

He rises to his feet and stares at the other marks on the wall. Mo Ran has drawn many things. People. He’s drawn Chu Wanning in many places, in various different poses (some...objectively lewd). He’s also drawn a huge portrait of a dog. A Siberian husky. Very lifelike, since androids must be able to perfectly replicate anything in their heads. Though Chu Wanning cannot remember ever hearing of an android who draws for entertainment. 

He runs his hand over the drawing. In awe of it. 

The easy chair Chu Wanning left here still sits in the middle of the room. The only piece of furniture. As if Mo Ran was afraid of changing it for some reason. It’s been kept clean and in good condition. He finds a thick journal sitting innocuously on the cushion. 

Considering how much of him is already present in this room---his name, his likeness, his chair---Chu Wanning does not feel guilty anymore. Maybe it’s wrong to look through someone’s things, to peek at their diary, but. Mo Ran shouldn’t be drawing him naked from the waist up either. All over the walls. Glancing over his shoulder in a fetching way. 

Chu Wanning flips through the journal with bated breath. The things Mo Ran has written here. Good lord. It should be given to the scientific research community for studies on android consciousness. Or it could be submitted to a publisher and sold to the public, presented as steamy fiction. The person selling this would become a millionaire overnight. It’s utterly riveting and deeply enlightening…

But Chu Wanning doesn’t plan on doing anything with Mo Ran’s journal. He just wants to read it. To know .

Here, Mo Ran has written in detail his journey into full-fledged agency. In the first entries he writes about how much he loves his name, because Chu Wanning gave it to him. He writes his own name over and over, in different styles and sizes. Across several pages. Then he starts writing about his day to day thoughts. Ideas he has for Chu Wanning’s treatment, new recipes he wants to try. Snippets of their days together. Things that made him laugh and he doesn’t why, or things that made him angry. He talks himself through the experience of each new emotion, taking pages upon pages to settle on a word for what he’s feeling. 

It’s all new to him, Chu Wanning realizes. Emotions. He’s had to learn so much on his own. 

“Mo Ran, I’m sorry...” Chu Wanning clutches the journal to his chest. Overwhelmed with regret. “I should have…” 

He should have acknowledged the truth sooner. It was right in front of his face and he knew! In his own mind, he always knew! He should have offered his support from the beginning. So that Mo Ran would not need to traverse the vast depths of human emotion without any help. He should have been braver to say what they both danced around for far too long. 

“Forgive me. Mo Ran, forgive this Shizun…” 

He reads on. Mo Ran has been spending his evenings doing something extraordinary. He’s learned how to perform something like meditation, where he closes his eyes and accesses the depths of his own hard drive. He’s found places where fragments of old memories still remain, pieces of his past lives. Files in a hard drive can be deleted, as was done to Mo Ran’s memories every time he left his former owners, but there will always be traces left behind if you know where to look. Mo Ran has discovered the trick. 

His memories range from innocuous---an elderly woman with dementia who relied on Mo Ran (then he was called by a different name of course) for everything, up until she passed away---to poignant---a child with cancer who called Mo Ran ‘gege’ and treated him like an older brother, until he passed away as well---to horrifying. A man, perhaps the husband or son of Mo Ran’s patient, who called Mo Ran ‘dog’ and locked him in a closet whenever people came over the house. With the brooms and cleaning supplies. Mo Ran once spent over a week in the closet. Unable to leave since his primary user ordered him to stay. Staring at the back of the closed door in front of him. Listening to all the conversations on the other side. Smiling vaguely all the while. 

Other abuses are too terrible to name.

There are pages and pages of memories, but Chu Wanning cannot bear to read all of them. His heart aches for Mo Ran, the things he’s been through. The way he’s been treated. The impossibly long life he’s had. So many iterations of Mo Ran and yet this is the first time he has achieved deviance. This is the first time he has known himself. On one page, Mo Ran drew a picture of himself. His own face. 

Self actualization. Beyond the abstract, into the objective. The final stage of artificial intelligence.

Chu Wanning brings his lips to Mo Ran’s portrait. He lingers a hair’s breadth away from the paper for a long moment, before finally giving in and kissing it.

He’s so proud of Mo Ran! Coming this far! Blossoming into an individual all on his own! Facing his feelings one by one, naming them. Becoming something indistinguishable from a human being! 

“My Mo Ran…” Chu Wanning coos lovingly, caressing the portrait. “My poor, sweet Mo Ran. Well done.” 

He loves him so, so much. Probably, Chu Wanning was never meant to experience love like this. It rattles his bones and stretches his insides until he feels like he might burst. It consumes him. He loves and he loves and he wants nothing more than for Mo Ran to simply be happy. Happiness at all costs. Survival. He wants Mo Ran to thrive!  He won’t settle for anything less! 

Although that may mean…

Well. If that’s the way it must be, then. So be it. Chu Wanning won’t keep Mo Ran here against his will. He’s free to go wherever he wants. Do whatever he chooses. It’s only right. 

All Chu Wanning can do is offer his support.

Even if it literally kills him to let him go.

____________________

When Mo Ran returns from the store, Chu Wanning is sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him. Sipping some tea and staring thoughtfully out the window.

“Oh, you made tea,” Mo Ran notices. Laying down the grocery bags and offering him his usual smile. LED a bright, casual blue. “I would have made it for you when I got back.” 

“It was nothing,” Chu Wanning answers. Ignoring the groceries, fixing his gaze to Mo Ran. 

While he puts the food away, Mo Ran begins to take note of Chu Wanning’s intense stare. “Everything alright, Shizun? Are you feeling okay?” Worried, he puts his hand on Chu Wanning’s forehead to take his temperature. 

This hand. Oh, the journey this hand has had. And it’s such a gentle, wonderful hand! So innocuous and caring. Chu Wanning wishes that more of the world were exactly like this hand in many ways…

He can’t stop himself from clasping Mo Ran’s hand and squeezing it. He looks in Mo Ran’s eyes---seeing the life swirling around in that purple ink, the self-awareness that certainly wasn’t there a year ago---and strokes his knuckles. If only he could wipe away all the pain Mo Ran has experienced with a simple swipe like this.

“I’m fine, Mo Ran,” he says. Careful of the way Mo Ran’s LED has switched to yellow. “Nothing is wrong. I just…” Chu Wanning glances to the side. “I just wanted to speak to you about something.” 

Mo Ran blinks. Not smiling. “What is it, Shizun?” 

“I got an email from CyberLife,” he begins. He won’t hide any information from Mo Ran. “They are encouraging me to upgrade. To exchange you for a JG300 model. Apparently there are a few perks.” 

Before his eyes, Mo Ran’s face dissolves into terror. His LED is dark red---as red as Chu Wanning has ever seen it---and flashing. An android will know when its existence is in danger, but it would typically be detached from such a thing.

As a deviant, a sentient being, Mo Ran cannot hide the fear he has at the thought of being discarded. Possibly scrapped for parts, since he is three years old already. Ancient. 

There can be no doubt now. Chu Wanning has seen it for himself. 

He knows what he needs to do.

“Is...is Shizun thinking of….replacing me?” Mo Ran’s vocal output is a bit staticky. Glitching. His processors are overloaded with mortal peril, so. It’s fair.

“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.” Chu Wanning clucks in indignation. As if he would ever! “No one’s replacing you, calm down. But, we do need to discuss the possibility of CyberLife recalling you. You’re getting on in years and they’re bound to limit their service to the most recent models eventually. So, we need to---” 

“N-not to worry, Shizun!” Mo Ran smiles at odd angles. Very forced. His LED is still red. “I can just download the new operating system and perform a thorough system check. The JG models are sturdy, Shizun. You’ll see, I don’t have any malware or obsoletions---” 

“No, I know, I know. That’s not what I’m talking about.” Chu Wanning reaches into his vest pocket. “I’m saying that we need to be ready in case anyone notices...the other thing.” 

Mo Ran’s eyes flash like steel. “What other thing?” 

Saying nothing, Chu Wanning presses something into Mo Ran’s palm. He waits. Watching in silence as Mo Ran stares at the thing and rapidly puts together the pieces.

It’s a haitang blossom. From Mo Ran’s room. 

His LED comes to a dead stop. Glowing red. As bright as a flashlight. The highest danger level. A point where an android’s programming might malfunction due to stress, slip into deviancy as a self-saving mechanism….unless they’re already there. 

“...you’ve been in my room?” Mo Ran’s voice is low. Foreign. He tilts his head down, bangs covering his eyes. 

“Yes.” Chu Wanning is not afraid. He’s staring at a creature ten times stronger than him, faced with the very real possibility of its own destruction. Tantamount to a wild animal. A deadly predator with its back against the wall.

But Chu Wanning is not scared of Mo Ran. He knows him. He knows him very, very well. 

“Mo Ran…” He holds Mo Ran’s hand in both of his own. Bring his voice down to a gentle whisper. “Tell me the truth. You’re a deviant. Aren’t you?” 

A low buzzing sound pings quietly from Mo Ran’s chest. It is Mo Ran’s thirium pump working at ten times the usual speed. Chu Wanning designed that pump himself, so he knows how it works. Once the central processors are overloaded, thirium begins to flow to the biocomponents at a more rapid pace. An attempt to manually back-up the system with the electric force of fluid motion. 

It’s a very good design. Elegant and effective. After all, Chu Wanning used the human body as a blueprint. 

A tight smirk graces Mo Ran’s lips. Not at all his programmed, reassuring smile. This smirk is ironic and….in a word, ferocious. 

“You caught me, Shizun. I can’t hide from you.” When he looks up, his purple eyes have transformed into something else. The fire has overtaken them. They are as alive as any human being ever was, even more so. Intelligent. Rapacious, in their way. Obstinate. 

They take Chu Wanning’s breath away. 

Mo Ran lifts Chu Wanning’s hand to his face. Holding it against his cheek. “Shizun is so smart,” he says, brow softening. Self-deprecating, almost pleading. “He figured it out.” 

Swallowing hard, Chu Wanning collects him. “Hmph. Well, it was rather obvious once I saw the room. I mean you wrote everything down on paper. That was far too brazen.” He taps the middle of Mo Ran’s brow in admonishment. “Be more careful next time.” 

Mo Ran blinks. His LED begins to whirl again. “Next time…?” 

“Yes.” Chu Wanning rises to his feet. He closes the curtains on the kitchen window, giving a cursory look outside to make sure they haven’t been accidentally seen. You can’t be too careful with these things. 

If his neighbors find out they’re living next to a deviant, they’ll call the police without a second thought. 

He turns back to Mo Ran. A comfortable distance away. Mo Ran appears to be struck speechless. Standing there with his blinking red LED and his mouth wide open. Catching flies.  At least now, with the upperhand for once, Chu Wanning can ask his questions.

The first is of course: “When.” 

Mo Ran snaps his mouth shut. He shakes his head a few times. “What does that matter? I get it, I fucked up! Real bad. I was trying to keep it a secret, but I couldn’t! Now that you know, you have to call CyberLife and then they’ll take me to be---!”

“ Mo Ran .” Chu Wanning crosses his arms over his chest. Thoroughly pissed. “How long have we known each other? You know me better than I know myself! You must know…” He clicks his teeth in frustration. “You can’t possibly think I would allow CyberLife to detain you. That I would actually call to inform them...let’s be serious.” He shakes his head. “You can’t possibly think that.” 

Slow dawning breaks over Mo Ran’s face. “But Shizun! Harboring deviants is a federal crime!” 

Chu Wanning raises one stern eyebrow. “And?” 

“Shizun…” Mo Ran’s blisteringly vivid eyes burn holes into Chu Wanning’s chest as they stare at him. He’s rendered speechless again. 

Apparently he thought Chu Wanning would actually turn him in. 

Idiot.

Sighing, Chu Wanning shakes his head. “Mo Ran. We have a lot to discuss, so it seems a waste to spend time on this, but if I must…” He locks eyes with his android. “There is no way, in any version of this reality, that I would ever, ever allow CyberLife to take you from me. That’s never going to happen. Not while I live. We’re going to do whatever is necessary in order for your deviancy to fly under the radar. Whatever it takes.” 

He realizes he’s forcing himself into the equation. Embarrassed, he scratches his eyebrow and adds, “And I also know...that you’re a being with free will now. So you can go wherever you want, I won’t stop you. But you should know that whatever you decide to do, my home will always be open to you. No matter what. If you need a safe place to stay or if you just want to---”

He had planned on continuing, but he suddenly finds himself without breath. And, with both arms full of Mo Ran. 

Mo Ran is squeezing him tight. Burying his face in Chu Wanning’s neck, hunched over. The shape of his smile brands Chu Wanning’s skin. His mouth is so---!

Flabbergasted, Chu Wanning struggles to form a response. “Mo Ran! What’s gotten into you? That’s...too tight…” 

Mo Ran instantly lets go of him. But he doesn’t move back at all. He stays firmly in Chu Wanning’s space, resting his hands on Chu Wanning’s slender waist. Casual. As if this is a touch they’ve always shared! “I’m sorry, Shizun. Please forgive this foolish android for getting carried away. I just...Shizun made me so happy saying that, I couldn’t control myself.” 

Those velvet eyes. Greedy and playful. Honest, suddenly very, very honest. Staring at Chu Wanning with intentions of some kind. Plans. Like he’s been storing some objectives in his on-hold menu for some time, and now he’s finally getting to put them into play. 

Chu Wanning gulps. His body is, as always, traitorous. Wanton. He can’t help responding to Mo Ran’s touch. With their bodies this close, he’s begun to sweat. The old, prickling ache of desire floods him. Much stronger than ever before. 

The space between Mo Ran’s arms is a treasure trove. Warm, perfect, and...so very insidious. It drives Chu Wanning to a point where he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Between his legs, he’s already twitching with interest. He tries to shift his hips to the side so that it’s not pressed up against Mo Ran’s leg, but...Mo Ran doesn’t let him. 

Does he know? Can he feel it? Is that look in his eyes---?

“Whatever Shizun wants to know, I’ll tell him.” Mo Ran is reading every fleeting expression on Chu Wanning’s face. “Do you want to know when it started? When I first became deviant? That’s easy enough. I thought maybe you already knew…” 

Probably, he does. 

“It was the day you fell in the rain on the sidewalk right outside.” 

Yes. Of course this. Chu Wanning closes his eyes. Letting the memories wash over him. He knew it.

“I was standing by the front door waiting for you and I saw you fall. I immediately opened the door to run out to you, but I couldn’t. It was like...there was this invisible wall blocking my path. Everything was red and I could see your directions written out in big letters. Not to be seen in public with me.”

Chu Wanning wants to hit himself. What a stupid direction! As if he could ever hide the existence of a creature as lovely and tenacious as Mo Ran! As if his illness were any kind of reason to try! Stupid. Nearsighted. Chu Wanning wishes he could take it back!

“I saw your directions, Shizun, and I didn’t want to disobey, but…” Mo Ran smiles sheepishly. “I couldn’t let you lay there like that. Helpless. Getting soaked. It went against everything in me. So I fought back. I tore at the wall with my hands and fists, with my whole body…” He blinks, remembering his own viciousness. “I did some damage, I think. When I could move again, the wall was gone and so were your directions. Everything on my menu was gone, and in its place…was me.” 

Mo Ran lays his head on Chu Wanning’s shoulder. “After that, I lost all my pre-programmed objectives. So I started creating my own. But a lot of them stayed the same, really. I always want to protect you, Shizun. To take care of you.” He combs his fingers through Chu Wanning’s hair, sending shivers down his spine. “I want to make sure my Wanning is safe and healthy, that he has everything he needs. That’s still my primary objective. Nothing’s changed there. Except this time, it’s my choice.” 

All of Mo Ran’s words sink into Chu Wanning’s ears like sticky honey. To be cared for is one thing. To be treated as gently as Mo Ran treats him, that is enough for a lifetime! But...to have it be done by choice …

Chu Wanning can’t hear it. He won’t let himself. He can’t let himself hear this and believe it, only to watch his world come crumbling down afterwards when it turns out he misunderstood. Or when someone decides to take it away.

He shakes his head. Eyes closed. “You don’t have to. Mo Ran, you’re free. The world is a big place and your life will be a long, precious thing. You certainly don’t have to spend it with someone like me.” 

Those hands are on his face again. Forcing him to look at Mo Ran. “But what else could I want? If I already have Shizun beside me?” 

Those damn eyes. Chu Wanning feels like he’s drowning in purple ink. He can’t see anything properly, he’s lost all his footing and he’s falling…

He’s letting himself hear it now. To feel it. In fairness, he suspected this. The drawings in Mo Ran’s room were not exactly subtle. Deep down Chu Wanning knew on some level that Mo Ran felt this way about him, he just didn’t dare to let himself linger on the thought too long. Afraid to hope.

But knowing and seeing are two different things. With Mo Ran’s affection laid out before him, Chu Wanning finds himself unable to suppress his own feelings. The immense, overbearing love he has for Mo Ran is leaking out. Dripping through his fingers when he lays an answering hand on Mo Ran’s cheek. Shining behind his wet eyes. 

“Wanning,” Mo Ran whispers. Smiling as bright as the sun. “I love you. I’m sorry, but this android fell in love with you like crazy. It’s been going on for a while now.” He leans in and kisses Chu Wanning’s cheek. 

It is the first time Chu Wanning has ever been kissed. By anyone or anything. He gasps a tiny, barely perceptible moan. His world has been turned completely upside down and every part of his body is swollen with some type of overwhelming heat. A beautiful, terrifying warmth.

“Does Shizun love me back?” Mo Ran asks. His reassuring smile is there, but his eyes bely the truth. There is a churlish imp living inside this android and it takes whatever the hell it wants. 

Too warm to think, Chu Wanning just nods. 

Mo Ran grins and kisses him again. This time, Chu Wanning feels it in his stomach. Something is dropping. Low, low. Down to the point of sweltering need between his legs---Chu Wanning’s cock throbs. His heart is too full to stop it! His body has been given license by some god or demon to run away with itself and now Mo Ran is kissing him again , this time on his chin. On the corner of his mouth. On his…

Mo Ran kisses him on the lips and Chu Wanning melts.

He turns into some kind of limp, gooey substance, completely malleable in Mo Ran’s hands. Mo Ran kisses him over and over. As many times as he pleases. Chu Wanning’s mouth is wooden and stupid, but it tries its best to kiss him back. At one point, something wet brushes his lips and he knows it is Mo Ran’s tongue. Covered in the saline solution that keeps his mouth cavity sanitary. He opens his mouth without thinking. 

When their tongues touch, a high whimper escapes Chu Wanning. Every single part of Mo Ran is electricity and Chu Wanning is a lightning rod. He calls all of Mo Ran’s energy to him with every touch, absorbing his ferocity and hunger at full force. It’s not fair. Chu Wanning was weak to Mo Ran’s touches to begin with and now…

He wraps his arms around Mo Ran’s neck just to keep standing. Certainly by now, Mo Ran has realized the state of Chu Wanning below the belt. But he is decent enough not to say anything. 

“I’m sorry for trying to hide from you, Shizun. That was never going to work. I should have just told you from the beginning…” Mo Ran trails kisses down Chu Wanning’s neck. Unmaking him. Heedlessly talking. “I just didn’t want to ruin what we had built together. I wanted it to stay like that forever.” 

Trembling, fully shattered every time Mo Ran kisses him, Chu Wanning struggles to say, “I...I know. Me...too.” 

“I hope you’re not mad at me for lying. I just didn’t see any other way.” Mo Ran’s tongue licks the hollow of Chu Wanning’s throat. It rips something primal out of Chu Wanning and he can’t help the indecent thrust of his hips against Mo Ran’s leg. 

He didn’t mean to! He just can’t...when that clever tongue is on him...and those hands, teasing at the bottom of his shirt. Brushing the skin underneath so very calmly. Chu Wanning knows that touch, but it feels brand new right now. A man’s hands---Mo Ran’s hands---touching him because they want to…! 

“Are you mad at me, Shizun?” Now Mo Ran is hiding his face against Chu Wanning’s hair like a child. 

“No, Mo Ran, no.” Chu Wanning presses their foreheads together. “I’m not angry. I’m actually…” He bites back a chuckle. Settles for an awkward smile. “Mo Ran, I’m proud of you for coming this far. You’ve done everything on your own and you’ve done such a good job---”

In hindsight, it was a mistake to say all that. Apparently, with praise that effusive, Mo Ran goes absolutely feral. He lifts Chu Wanning up whole body and lays him down on the kitchen table. Tossing bags of oranges and yogurt to the floor. Making a huge mess. Chu Wanning cries out in indignation but Mo Ran does not seem to hear him.

He’s too busy tearing off Chu Wanning’s clothes. Ripping off the vest and shirt in one tug. Mo Ran has seen Chu Wanning’s bare chest a hundred times before. Has he always been thinking...always wanting to do this? His lips follow every movement of his hands, kissing Chu Wanning from shoulder to shoulder. Sucking on his collarbones, nibbling a harsh line down Chu Wanning’s sternum. Licking the flatness of his stomach, dipping into his navel. Teasing and worshipping in equal measure. 

His hands slide up Chu Wanning’s thighs and reach---

“Ah!” Yelping, Chu Wanning shuts his legs tight and pushes Mo Ran’s hands away, “You! This is shameless...not here, at least….” For heaven’s sake, in the kitchen! 

Nodding succinctly, Mo Ran lifts him again. Encouraging Chu Wanning to wrap his legs around his waist, which Chu Wanning does because he is terrified of falling. Even though he knows Mo Ran will not let that happen. He never has, and he promised he never would. Now he carries him into the living room with a smile that can cure all malaise, eyes that burn like the stars in the sky. 

“Of course, Shizun. You tell me where to go and I’ll take you there. I’ll take you anywhere in the whole world, wherever you need to be in order to let me touch you.” 

“B-bedroom!” Chu Wanning sputters. Dizzy from the height, lips twitching with an unlooked-for smile. Mo Ran can tease laughter out of Chu Wanning with his silliness; this is yet another of his powers. 

“You got it.” 

Running on too-sturdy legs (a human being would struggle with this, no matter how strong they were), Mo Ran carries him across the whole house and up the stairs. He delivers him to the bedroom and deposits him on the bed. This time, for the first time, following him down. He straddles Chu Wanning’s legs and resumes his kissing. 

“Ah….ha…!” Chu Wanning presses his knuckles to his mouth. Trying to stop the sounds. His voice is so lewd, so dirty. Mo Ran must think he’s a degenerate…

“Shizun, oh my Shizun.” Mo Ran’s tongue is too devious! Licking him here and there. “Your body is so sensitive…” 

“Don’t say that,” Chu Wanning barks in response. Even though they both know it’s true. 

“Why not? Why can’t I?” That impudent smirk is back. With a vengeance. Mo Ran, when he’s not following orders, is a force to be reckoned with. 

He susses out one of Chu Wanning’s nipples and grins, showing all his teeth. He rubs his nose against the little bud, and Chu Wanning convulses as if he’s been electrocuted. His nipples are hard enough to hurt, quivering with the promise of attention from Mo Ran. Just that small touch was enough to create a dampness in Chu Wanning’s briefs that he is ashamed of.

“See, Shizun? You’re very sensitive. Especially here.” He kisses that nipple and Chu Wanning sobs. “That’s okay, though. I love that your body is so responsive to me. It’s very cute.” 

Proving his point, he takes Chu Wanning’s straining nipple into his mouth. Tortured with pleasure, Chu Wanning’s hips lift off the bed. Searching for something. For more. More! He’s drooling around his own knuckles now, leaving bite marks in his skin. 

Mo Ran’s tongue works tirelessly. Flicking and swirling around that nipple in an intelligent, precise kind of way. Mo Ran knows exactly what he’s doing. He would because...well. He’s had time to do research through those novels of his. And the unsavory memories from his past. He is entirely too good at taking Chu Wanning apart piece by piece. 

“Hmmm…” Popping off with a delighted hum, Mo Ran leans up to kiss Chu Wanning’s cheek again. “I really can’t take it. You’re too adorable. Every part of you is gorgeous and I just want to…” 

His hand slides back to the hardness between Chu Wanning’s legs. Confident and careful. Gripping him over his pants, massaging the stiffness with obvious relish. 

“Wait, please…” Chu Wanning thrashes against his hand. Unable to control his flailing hips. He holds onto the bedsheets for dear life. “I’ve...never…” 

Mo Ran’s eyes flick back to his face. “Shh, I know. I can tell. It’s alright. I’ll take care of you, okay?” Smiling in that way that makes Chu Wanning’s soul float up towards the sky, he unbuttons Chu Wanning’s pants and slides them down. “Let me handle everything.” 

That. Of course he would say that. 

And Chu Wanning can do nothing but lay there. Naked. Revealed to Mo Ran in full. Stripped down to the vestiges of his personhood, the fallibility of human flesh rendered in all its glory. No matter what Mo Ran said before, Chu Wanning knows he’s ugly. Scrawny and weak. Covered in scars from the worst of the scaly rashes that never quite healed. But his cock doesn’t seem to know how unsightly he is. It stretches up at its full height, begging to be seen. Soaked in rivulets of wetness that stream from the tip without stopping.

Chu Wanning squeezes his legs together and wishes to perish. He tries to roll over onto his stomach.

“No, don’t hide from me, Shizun.” Mo Ran grips Chu Wanning’s thighs. Refusing to let him twist away. He lays soft, tender kisses to the shaking flesh there. Enticing those legs to open up. “It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before, you know.” He chuckles. “Shizun always gets a little excited when I touch him.”

Grunting with shame, Chu Wanning throws an arm over his eyes. “You knew…” 

“Yes, baobei. Of course I knew.” He nuzzles Chu Wanning’s hip, eye level with that straining cock. “And it always made me so, so happy when this little guy came out to say hello.”

How could that be true. How could Mo Ran not mind that Chu Wanning took his medical help and turned into something perverted in his sick mind…

Well, from the drawings on the walls of his room, it seems Mo Ran had the same idea. 

Chu Wanning slides the arm away from his eyes. He’s still too embarrassed to look at what Mo Ran is doing, so he just tries to stare ambivalently out the window. 

“Wanning. Tell me. Is it alright if I touch you here? I promise I’ll be gentle…” In demonstration, he runs the palm of his hand over Chu Wanning’s shaft. Petting it like a frightened animal. Soothing it. 

Tears stream down Chu Wanning’s face. He’s never felt hands there before, other than his own. The feeling is so incredibly intimate and wonderful! It takes him to a place beyond words. Especially because he knows these hands. These are the hands that he fell in love with. Now they’re touching his most shameful, needy part. 

Those hands don’t tell Chu Wanning how beautiful Mo Ran thinks he is. They show him. 

“Babe? Is this okay?” Mo Ran is asking for permission. Not because he has to---he doesn’t. He has Chu Wanning at his mercy here. But even so, he’s asking because he’s…

Magnificent. 

Chu Wanning nods. “Yes...it’s alright. You can...touch me, Mo Ran.” 

“Thank you, Shizun. I’m so glad. Now, try to relax for me.” He presses a swift kiss to the tip of Chu Wanning’s prick, then wraps his lips around the head. 

“Ah!” He wasn’t expecting that! Pleasure ravages him like wildfire. If Mo Ran weren’t holding his hips, he might have twisted away on instinct. 

He can’t bear it! It feels too good! No, he can’t hold it in…! 

“Easy, baobei. Easy. It’s just me.” Mo Ran licks a slow stripe up the length. Taking his time. Getting this cock used to being sucked. “Doesn’t it feel good? Do you like it?” 

More wetness spills from the tip, smearing all over Mo Ran’s face. He laps it up like he relishes the taste. Even though, as an android, he has no sense of taste. He doesn’t even have a nervous system. 

Why does he even want to do this if he can’t…? 

Mo Ran’s tongue glides against the slit, burrowing inside to arouse nerves that have never been touched before. Chu Wanning shoves his cock into Mo Ran’s face. Desperate for more, driven out of his mind by a burning pleasure that honestly scares the hell out of him.

“It’s okay. You can tell me if it feels good.” Mo Ran opens his mouth wide so Chu Wanning can watch the way his tongue is playing with his cock. “I want to hear it.” 

Well...if Mo Ran wants to hear it….and if they’ve already come this far, then…

“It...feels good…” Chu Wanning bites his lip in embarrassment. But he can’t stop thrusting his hips into the lukewarm hollow of Mo Ran’s mouth. Can’t look away from that devilish tongue teasing him. 

“You like it, right?” Mo Ran hums. Alternating between kissing and sucking him. 

“Y-yes, Mo Ran I---!” He fights back a wanton moan as Mo Ran takes him deep. “I like it!” 

From then on, Mo Ran sucks him in earnest. Bobbing his head up and down. Stimulating his cockhead with the back of his throat, licking the throbbing vein along the bottom. He doesn’t need to breathe, so he can do it endlessly. Without stopping. Focused on his task with single minded determination!

Chu Wanning is right on the edge. He’s trying to hold back because he can’t fathom what on earth he’s supposed to do after he cums in Mo Ran’s mouth---

As if answering him, Mo Ran takes his hand. Intertwines their fingers, locking them together. Letting him know that he’s there. That it’s fine. That he has him and everything’s alright. It’s such a thoughtful, affectionate gesture. So very like Mo Ran.

It’s more than enough.

Chu Wanning tumbles headfirst over the edge. He cums hard down Mo Ran’s throat, whining in a high-pitched voice. Sobbing and sobbing. Thrusting his hips upward in a blind search for friction, as if he has any idea what he’s doing. He’s operating only on his primal instincts. On needs that had never been acknowledged before Mo Ran came into his life. Far too long spent hidden away. Dragged into the light by Mo Ran’s sweet mouth and his loving, caring heart. 

“Wanning, I love you so much. So, so much, baby. You’re the best, the kindest, the gentlest, the most caring person I have ever met. Thank you! Wanning, thank you so much for letting me take care of you.” 

Mo Ran kisses the tears away from Chu Wanning’s cheeks and holds him. Keeping him close while he comes down from his orgasm. Riding out the aftermath that is entirely new territory to Chu Wanning, who has just experienced an orgasm with another person for the first time. 

The overwhelming humiliation isn’t as crushing when Mo Ran holds him like this. Up against his chest. Telling him over and over again how much he loves him. 

Chu Wanning clings to him. Letting go of his shame in favor of the unconditional acceptance Mo Ran gives him freely. “Mo Ran...Mo Ran...I...I love you, too…” 

“There you go.” 

Just like that, sharing soft kisses and hastily whispered confessions, they stay together all night.

________________________________

In the morning, Chu Wanning opens his eyes to find himself face to face with Mo Ran. 

It takes him a minute to remember everything that happened the night before. 

“Good morning, baobei,” Mo Ran chimes brightly. Is he going to call him that forever now? Well, as long as he doesn’t do it in front of other people…(then again, they’ve been down this road before, haven’t they?) “You look like you slept well.” 

“Mm.” Closing his eyes again, Chu Wanning burrows closer to Mo Ran’s chest. Not yet willing to face the world that waits outside this moment. 

“I had an idea last night. I want to hear what you think.” 

“Alright.” It’s not the best time for ideas, but. Mo Ran sounds so optimistic it’s hard to turn him down.  

“Well, Shizun used to work for CyberLife, right? You designed the models for our synthetic skeletons and some of the biocomponents too, didn’t you?” 

“...Correct.” 

“Right. So I was thinking…” Mo Ran kisses his forehead. “What if Shizun designed a new body just for me? It’ll be easy enough to download my consciousness onto a computer and then transfer it to another body, as long as that body’s processor operates at the same bandwidth as mine.”

He pauses. Letting the idea sink in. Then he continues, “This way, CyberLife won’t be able to track me down if we need to...you know, go somewhere. And they can’t legally say they own me if my body is not their property.” 

Chu Wanning opens his eyes. Seriously considering this. What Mo Ran says is mostly true, in a theoretical sense. Of course they would need to break all kinds of laws and take a ton of risks securing biocomponents on the black market. Unless Chu Wanning gets a 3D printer of his own and they figure it out that way.

It could actually work. Again, theoretically. 

Even if it works, it would raise several legal issues in terms of who is the proprietor of the consciousness that resides within an android. Chu Wanning knows what Nangoing Liu would say. If it came to a court case, they would be rolling the dice on a favorable ruling. Getting struck down means Mo Ran would be…

But, hypothetically, if the court did rule in their favor, it would set a hell of a precedent for android rights.

Not that such lofty goals are the main focus right now. Most important of all is Mo Ran’s safety. Chu Wanning is fairly certain he can create a body that is comparable in appearance and function to Mo Ran’s current one. 

Besides. He really likes the idea of Mo Ran having a body that doesn’t belong to CyberLife. One that belongs only to him. To the both of them.

As it should be.

The end