Archive of Our Own ^beta

This series takes place over the time period from pre-canon through the end of Season 11
It's a deep exploration of Sam and Dean's very different personalities and inner lives as I see them.

Also, wincest.

There are 27 works in the series, totaling about 60k words. I will be posting a new work weekly-ish. Consistency is not my groove.

CONTENT WARNINGS for the whole series:
*Abusive relationship
*Dubious consent
*Racist, sexist and homophobic language
*A whole lot of Sh**

SERIES SUMMARY:

When it starts to seem like Sam is going to go crazy or die from lack of sleep, Dean swallows hard and offers to help out in that way. A few sleepless, hallucinatory days later, Sam accepts.

Dean feels like the universe is finally on his side when it actually kind of works. Sam sleeps for nine hours that night... and, well... for a few minutes there after the big kid finally drifts off to dreamland, Dean gets to see his brother looking peaceful and unafraid in a way he hasn't seen for years.

He fucking hates his fucked-up freak of a brother, though. Doesn't want that twisted bitch anywhere near him for days afterward.

*disgusting needy faggot Sammy cornholing pervert you wanna be a fucking girl well sorry that ain't no sweet-smelling pussy it's a shithole and it smells like shit*

And how is this his life?? It baffles him and pisses him off, and it's just one more way he lets himself be compromised, confused, pulled off course by all Sam's wrongness, all the ways that kid just isn't right inside and never will be, no matter how hard Dean tries to set him straight.