if i don't break it
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your pain and your hunger (they're driving you home) by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
11 Apr 2025
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Summary
“Ponyboy, I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it,” Darry started, “You’re a good kid. Hell, Soda’s already halfway to callin’ you his twin. But when I first said yes to takin’ you in, it was ‘cause the state was breathin’ down my neck about Soda.”
Pony looked down at the table. He felt the sting of rejection before the rest even came.
“They said if I couldn’t prove I could handle everything, they’d ship him off to a boys home till he aged out.” Darry explained, voice quiet now. “Having a foster kid is part of me provin’ I could step up.”
—
Ponyboy has been shuffled through the foster system long enough to know that nothing good lasts. When he gets placed with Darry and Sodapop Curtis, he’s ready to keep his head down and not get in the way. But staying out of trouble gets a lot harder when the people around you start to feel like family. Especially when one mistake could mean tearing that family apart.
Series
- Part 1 of if i don't break it
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things i didn't know i needed by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
17 Apr 2025
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Summary
“Did it have instructions on how not to burn water?” Darry raised a brow.
“That was only once!” Soda defended himself, “Twice, tops.”
Pony leaned back, plate empty and stomach full. The meal, the banter, the way the kitchen light highlighted Darry’s tired face and Soda’s grin; it all wrapped around him like a blanket. He looked at their faces, smiling softly to himself.
“Thanks Sodapop,” Pony said like an afterthought, “for the food. And, y’know, all of it.”
Soda studied his face carefully, caught off guard by the sudden change in mood. “Anytime kiddo. We’ll have to do somethin’ like this more often.”
—
When Ponyboy gets assigned an extra credit project, he has no clue what to write about — until he starts keeping a list of the little things he notices he was missing. Meatloaf dinners, borrowed clothes, a spot on the couch that’s always saved for him. The Curtis house is loud, chaotic, and full of life — and somewhere in the mess, Pony realizes it’s more than just a place to live. It’s home.
Series
- Part 2 of if i don't break it
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oh golden boy (don't act like you were kind) by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
26 Apr 2025
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Summary
“Soda?”
“Yeah?”
Pony didn’t look at him. “You ever think – You think people can do bad stuff and still be good?”
Soda froze, arm mid-throw. He let the stone drop back beside him on the blanket. He looked at Pony, eyes squinting. “Y’mean, like, makin’ mistakes?”
Pony shook his head. “Not like that. I mean, like, doin’ somethin’ real bad. On purpose. Even though it’s wrong. But it’s like, the only way. Even if it don’t look like it.”
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Ponyboy has carried the weight of his past for as long as he can remember. It's more of an old friend at this point. But when Darry and Sodapop offer him more than just a home, he's forced to confront grief, guilt, and the terrifying possibility that he’s finally found a place to stay.
Series
- Part 3 of if i don't break it
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dreams don't just come true (but now there's you) by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
21 May 2025
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Summary
Darry folded the paper, not unkindly. “Just don’t hide it next time. You don’t gotta act tough with me, savvy?”
That was when the words almost slipped out – I love you.
He wanted to say it. He really did. But his throat closed up around them, the same way it always did.
Instead he said, “Thanks for comin’ to get me. I know – I know it ain’t easy. Sorry”
Darry just shrugged. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Told Bill my kid was sick and he let me off with no fuss.”
Pony blinked at him.
And maybe Darry hadn’t meant to say that – my kid. Maybe he had. Either way, it settled over Pony like a warm blanket.
He didn’t say anything else.
Didn’t have to. They’d both already said it.
—
5 times Ponyboy couldn't bring himself to say I love you + the first time he did.
Series
- Part 4 of if i don't break it
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come down from your fences (open the gates) by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
27 May 2025
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Summary
“Pony,” Soda whispered, voice barely more than breath. “Please talk to me.”
Pony didn’t move. Didn’t flinch. Just stayed curled up, facing the wall.
“Pony, please,” Soda said again, and now there was a crack in it. Real worry. “Me and Dar, we’re scared. I miss you, honey.”
The words hit him harder than the bruises ever could.
A hand slipped gently into his hair, brushing it back the way it always used to. Pony swallowed, hard.
“‘M okay, Soda,” he mumbled. His voice was thin, frayed at the edges. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” Soda said softly. “You look like you’re fading away.”
—
When a group of Socs corner Ponyboy and beat him up, they don’t just leave bruises — they leave doubts. Doubts about whether he really belongs with Darry and Sodapop. Doubts about whether he’s anything more than a stray they took pity on. Afraid to be a burden, Pony begins to pull away from the only real family he’s ever known. But Darry and Soda aren’t about to let him go without a fight.
Series
- Part 5 of if i don't break it
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your name in the silence (i’ll answer every time) by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
20 Jul 2025
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Summary
He didn’t know it yet, but the pattern was already being set. The quiet stepping-up, the constant looking out, the way he always made space for Soda first. He didn’t feel like he was losing anything. He felt like he was becoming something.
A big brother.
And even with all the titles he’d collect over the years – Team MVP, All-Star Quarterback, Star-in-the-Making – none of them would ever mean as much to him as that first one. That quiet, ordinary, extraordinary thing: being someone’s big brother.
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How Darry becomes a big brother — twice.
Series
- Part 6 of if i don't break it
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every word you don’t say (i hear it anyway) by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
02 Oct 2025
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Summary
The room rustled with the sound of turning pages and murmured answers. Darry tapped the worksheet again, his pencil poised. “Alright. Last one on this page: ‘What do you think helps the character the most when he’s scared?’”
Pony hesitated, but not as long this time. “Um… maybe when someone’s just… there. Like, even if they don’t fix anything. Just not bein’ alone.”
Darry’s mouth quirked, proud, and he wrote it down in his steady handwriting. “You’re good at this, kiddo.”
Pony’s ears went hot, but he felt a little taller in his chair. Like maybe he wasn’t just surviving this class—maybe he was actually doing okay.
Darry’s pencil paused, but his voice stayed low, casual. “Funny, though. Sounds like maybe the character doesn’t even realize people wanna be there for him. Like he’s too busy worryin’ about bein’ a burden.”
--
It’s Back to School Day at Will Rogers High, and Ponyboy is terrified. The teachers keep calling it a day for parents—and Pony doesn’t have any. He has Darry, who’s as close to a father as anyone could be, but the thought of dragging him through the halls makes Pony feel sick. So he tries to fake being sick instead. It doesn’t go the way he plans.Series
- Part 7 of if i don't break it
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i can't hide from you (like i hide from myself) by darrelcurtis
Fandoms: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders: The Musical - Jamestown Revival & Levine/Rapp
24 Nov 2025
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Summary
Darry never means to call Ponyboy his kid—not out loud, not where anyone could hear, least of all Ponyboy. But the word keeps slipping out anyway: in grocery store aisles, late-night emergencies, quiet moments when he isn't careful enough to guard what he feels. Pony hears every one of them. And eventually, Darry says it on purpose.
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He stopped too late. The word was already in the air between them.
Pony’s breath caught.
“You… you said it again,” he whispered.
Darry’s hands froze where they rested on Pony’s shoulders.
“Did I?” he said, even though he knew damn well he had.
“Yeah.” Pony looked at him carefully, like the wrong answer might shatter what little ground he’d found here. “You called me your kid.”
Series
- Part 8 of if i don't break it