AceTempest
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Lucifer was of the opinion that the staff of the Hazbin Hotel, plus one guest, was about as bonded as they could possibly get. Battles to the death against a near unstoppable force tended to do that and any further bonding was going to require an application of glue which at the very least Alastor wasn’t going to let anywhere near his coat.
Charlie, of course, didn’t choose the route of physical adhesives and instead went with a more esoteric approach. For example, tonight was the weekly Family Dinner Night.
Yaaaay.
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Television wasn’t banned at Hazbin Hotel. If it were, it would probably be a great way to lose any guest they had, lack of TV would kick up a hell of a lot more arguments than having a therapy schedule requirement. Amongst the guests, television was still a preferred way to pass the time and since it was certainly on the lesser side of evil than, say, grand theft drug snatch or vehicular homicide, it was still allowed in these hallowed halls.
It would be an understatement to say it wasn’t the favored medium for anyone on staff.
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The thing about Alastor, Lucifer was discovering, was that you couldn’t just give him a compliment. A normal person you could chat them up, tell them you liked their hair or their shirt, or that, hey, the way your tail flicks when you’re excited is disturbingly cute and they would probably say something like ‘thank you’ or ‘how kind’ or quite possibly ‘fuck off’. They were in hell, after all.
Alastor, not being what anyone would call normal even when considering the interesting gradient of ‘normal’ when it came to hell, was not that simple.
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Bookmarked by AceTempest
14 Dec 2025
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“No, I didn’t,” Alastor agreed. His eyeroll was so obvious it could be felt rather than seen. “Well-spotted, you! I often don’t. I still enjoyed it.”
“But coming is the whole point!”
“Is it?” Alastor already sounded bored with the entire conversation, the displeased blat of some ghostly brass section honking mellowly around them. “Perhaps for you.” He shifted up on an elbow and for a panicked second, Lucifer expected him to vacate the bed and conversation both. Instead, he pinned Lucifer with a glowing crimson stare, “Tell me, why is your way of enjoying intercourse more valid than mine?”
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HOLY SHIT GO OFF (also loved the healthy conversation <333)
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It’d been a long time since Lucifer spent any amount of time with other people. He was okay, he was adjusting, these things took time, right? Just because he eventually hit his fill of social interactions on a daily basis and had to flee back to his rooms for a little ‘quiet time’ didn’t mean he was broken or anything, lots of people had issues, that’s what this whole damn hotel was all about.
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Really, Lucifer should know better.
No one should try to have deep and/or important conversations before coffee. Especially when the other half of the conversation is with someone like Alastor.
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