CoffeehouseCynic
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Summary
Take one Radio Demon and one King of Hell, each on the verge of either ripping off each other's heads or clothes (they certainly can't tell which).
Add a very drunk Niffty,
a pair of magical handcuffs,
and a whole stack of in-universe RadioApple fanfiction,
and enjoy!- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,194
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 53
- Kudos:
- 241
- Bookmarks:
- 62
- Hits:
- 2,160
Bookmarked by CoffeehouseCynic
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
“…and the kissing? That was okay, right?”
Heat crept down Alastor's throat and he was grateful they were both still fully dressed so it wasn’t visible. “I would have bitten you if it wasn’t.”
Lucifer snorted softly. “Yeah? It’s a lot better than just… Wait! That’s exactly what this reminds me of! When Charlie used to play with her dolls growing up! Just smushing them together and saying shit like ‘now kiss!’ It’s like we’re the dolls!”
It took him a moment to catch on but when he did, his brows shot up. “You believe someone is…enacting these bizarre situations with dolls of us?” But who would do something like that? And more importantly, why?
AKA
After a month of forced proximity and being puppeted around by someone with a clear RadioApple agenda, Lucifer and Alastor may have accidentally caught feelings. They should still probably figure out how to fix this though...
Completed: 9/23/25
Bookmarked by CoffeehouseCynic
14 Jan 2026
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Summary
Alastor met the others at the center of the arena, ears perking at the prospect of a four on one match.
“Feels like a hell of a lot of overkill,” Lucifer said, shooting him a look. “Pretty unfair odds?”
“You’re welcome to find a fifth if you’re so concerned,” Alastor replied as he examined his claws.
Lucifer’s eye twitched, his whip-like tail lashing. “Let’s just get this over with so I can teach Charlie and her team how a real pro plays.”
Charlie stepped between hem, brow pinched. “I really don’t think this is necessary. We need a Strategist and Alastor’s one of the best!”
“Says who?” Angel grumbled. “The Vees have been doin’ just fine without him.”
Alastor didn’t rise to the bait, instead signaling to Husk. The lights around them flashed, indicating the match was about to begin.
aka
When Alastor leaves the Vees and becomes the Hazbin’s Strategist, he expects some growing pains with the newer, dysfunctional team. The last thing he expects is for Lucifer Morningstar, the best player in the sport’s history, to come out of retirement and join too.
Until he winds up in a fake relationship with the man, that is.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,513
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 61
- Kudos:
- 241
- Bookmarks:
- 67
- Hits:
- 2,476
Bookmarked by CoffeehouseCynic
12 Jan 2026
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To Be the Perfect Angel, Some Sin Must Be Done by eternalscout
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
30 Dec 2024
Summary
*slaps roof of series* This bad boy can fit so much unhinged nonsense in it!
Including (but not limited to):
- RadioApple
- Swapping POV
- Low stakes, lighthearted hijinks
- Idiots falling in love
- Elements of BDSMStarted as a oneshot, but has gotten wildly out of hand. *gestures helplessly to word count*
Series title inspired by All Eyes On Me by OR3O.
- Words:
- 99,024
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 327
Bookmarked by CoffeehouseCynic
12 Jan 2026
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Summary
Lucifer knew Alastor didn’t want him to think he was solely interested in him because of his money, but the stubborn idiot had already made that abundantly clear. Between that and him suddenly struggling to pull in clients like he once had (which made no sense whatsoever), he had no doubt the nest egg Alastor had bragged to him about was dwindling.
On top of that, he’d received a suspiciously timed and surprisingly generous offer from Valentino of all people.
Lucifer was probably being paranoid, but if Vox was involved like Lucifer suspected, this was only the beginning...AKA
RadioApple Vampire AU with vampire!Lucifer and human!Alastor. All Lucifer wants is to live happily ever after with his bratty, brilliant, and headstrong boyfriend. However, a string of suspiciously bad luck on Alastor's part makes it seem as though rival vampire Vox hasn't given up on making the human his by any means necessary.
Completed: 10/28/25
Series
- Part 2 of Just One Little Bite
Bookmarked by CoffeehouseCynic
05 Jan 2026