Expired_Cheese
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Father's Day is coming up, and Charlie wants to bake her dad the perfect gift for it. But baking isn't her forte, so she asks Alastor for help.
Alastor doesn't care one whit about Father's Day. But this proves to be an interesting challenge for his culinary skills, so he agrees.
Bookmarked by Expired_Cheese
16 Dec 2025
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Alastor and Charlie Morningstar meet decades earlier, when the latter gets lost in Pentagram City.
Bookmarked by Expired_Cheese
16 Dec 2025
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Lilith’s been gone a long time, ok? Not long compared to their millennia together, maybe, but long enough that Lucifer’s fallen out of practice with some things.
Sex. Sex things.
Sometimes your wife leaves you, and you’ve never really been into the whole open relationship thing so she’s the only person you’ve ever had sex with aside from the occasional threesome, and now your body has become a writhing, foreign mass that can’t seem to do anything.
What he needs, Lucifer realizes with a faint sense of horror, is a professional.
Bookmarked by Expired_Cheese
13 Dec 2025
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“What the fuck,” Velvette says, stomping forward, “is wrong with you, Vee?!”
“What’s wrong with you?!” he demands right back. “If it weren’t for you two, we’d be drinking margaritas up in Heaven right now!”
“Oh, sure,” she says, rolling her eyes so hard he’s shocked they don’t pop right out of her doll head. “And would that be before or after you killed us all with that nuke?!”
Or: The Vees, after the battle.
Bookmarked by Expired_Cheese
13 Dec 2025
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How to Bag an Angel: Take That, Depression! by Princeliest
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
05 Feb 2024
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It’s been a long time since someone’s actually had the balls to hit on Lucifer, and with all the redeeming that’s been going around like a particularly virulent cold, it suddenly doesn’t seem like such a bad idea to take up Angel Dust’s professional, no-strings-attached offer of a fun time! How else is a demon supposed to work out some post-battle tension after a nearly decade-long dry spell, huh?
Unfortunately for Lucifer, he forgot that his brain makes any form of intimacy a PVP activity with friendly fire permanently enabled.
Bookmarked by Expired_Cheese
13 Dec 2025