Naever
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“Ah,” Alastor murmurs, fondness threading his tone. “Poor darling,” he hums against the punctures, sealing them with a slow lick that makes her knees buckle. He pulls back gently, blood staining his smile like wine. “You’re trembling. Shall I stop?”
Or: Rosie raves about her favorite pet, the impeccably mannered Radio Demon, who she claims to be above all fleshly temptation; Lucifer, bored to the marrow, wagers he can shatter any sinner’s composure in a single night—and transforms into the perfect bait.
Bookmarked by Naever
27 Dec 2025
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There once was a beautiful young deer – as he was young, he was not very wise. Lured by a sly fox, the fox led the young deer deep in the forest – where a hungry lion waited.
The Lion ate the deer's body and the fox ate the deer's heart
Alastor speaks of his first kills to Vincent , they were accidents - but he does not regret them.
Bookmarked by Naever
26 Dec 2025
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“Anyways, nothing about Alastor gives ‘maternal,’” Velvette says after a while. Alastor glances over his shoulder from the stove to find her in the barstool beside Valentino’s, now, with her feet propped in his lap. “You’re the mom. I’m obviously the cool aunt. And Vox is our deadbeat husband.”
Alastor snickers at the stove.
“So like, does that make the Radio Demon our kid?” Valentino asks, squinting as he strains the metaphor.
“I dunno—good thing there’s no CPS in Hell.”
Alastor openly snorts.
(The Vees have dinner together like a fucking family, Valentino takes Alastor on a field trip, and Alastor and Vox do some light and friendly bonding activities. Set in approximately S2E6.)
Series
- Part 3 of They Could Have Been Worse
Bookmarked by Naever
26 Dec 2025
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For a special Sinsmas group therapy/bonding activity after the harrowing events of Season 2, Charlie decides that it would be a nice and fun idea to set up a Secret Santa! Everyone is very normal about this, because the holidays always bring out the best in people. Charlie just knows it.
Bookmarked by Naever
26 Dec 2025
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Summary
When they first return to the hotel—Lucifer dragged there with one arm flung across each of Vaggie and Charlie’s shoulders, Husk and Cherri huddled to each other’s sides, and Niffty and Baxter buzzing excitedly together at the back of their sad little procession—Alastor flings open the doors to their grand parlor, gestures whole-heartedly with his staff, and watches as the fine, golden entertainment center that Lucifer conjured so many months ago, up to and *especially* the television at its core, sails merrily through the nearest window.
Then Alastor makes his way up ten flights of stairs and a ladder, and does not emerge of his own volition for forty-eight hours straight.
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(Sometimes, the consequence of victory is everyone in your social group needing 3-6 weeks of aftercare.)
Bookmarked by Naever
26 Dec 2025