UselessWhiteCrayon
Fandoms
Recent works
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A Fae's Guide to (mostly) Proper Courtship by UselessWhiteCrayon
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
07 Aug 2024
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Summary
When traditional traps fail, Fae Aziraphale courts his human paramour Crowley through dildos. Naturally. How else would he get his love to bond to him?
Featuring Embedded Art!
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Pieces by UselessWhiteCrayon
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
07 Jun 2024
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Summary
Aziraphale has returned to Heaven, alone and depressed. He finds a way to feel some sort of connection to Crowley, despite being apart.
Update 9/26/24: NOW WITH ART
Series
- Part 2 of Sad Ill-Advised Wank
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Pineapple by UselessWhiteCrayon
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
14 May 2024
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Summary
Aziraphale receives some kinky advice involving pineapples he is eager to put into practice ... too bad the instructions were unclear.
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UnEGGspected Surprise by UselessWhiteCrayon
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
29 Feb 2024
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Summary
Crowley was hornier than he could remember ever being in his very long life, and was hoping to take Aziraphale for a ride. Aziraphale was more than happy for a night of mind-blowing sex, so what if Crowley was slowly losing grip on his demonic traits, and his dick looked a little different than normal?
Maybe he should have been a little more concerned. But it turned out he was about to be given the greatest miracle he could never have imagined ... in the form of an egg.
Edit 4/7/24: NOW WITH ART
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Skate, Bake, and Fornicate by UselessWhiteCrayon for Supergeek21
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
15 Jan 2024
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Summary
A day of wintery domestic bliss in the South Downs, with some silly skating and baking time between two beings in love.
Complete with a very literal case of blue balls, and pastry glazed angelic thighs.
All in all, a wonderful day in Crowley’s book.
Recent series
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Sad Ill-Advised Wank by UselessWhiteCrayon
Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
07 Jun 2024
- Words:
- 4,192
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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Oopsie, omens. by paaminty
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
02 Apr 2024
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Summary
Aziraphale, not wanting his new crush to get into trouble, asks some questions on their behalf. There are some repercussions to this decision, and now he fights between what he is, what he wishes he still was, and keeping his Angel friend out of the same trouble.
The entire retelling of Good Omens, but reversed!
(Updating tags as the comic progresses!)
(Comic fic, with occasional written chapters)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,258
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Comments:
- 1,861
- Kudos:
- 7,035
- Bookmarks:
- 1,092
- Hits:
- 137,247
Bookmarked by UselessWhiteCrayon
22 Oct 2023
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Arcadia by doggonefunny
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
27 Aug 2023
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Summary
Aziraphale, after taking the offer of becoming the new Supreme Archangel of Heaven, is well underway in molding things to fit his own agenda; however, interaction with the newly appointed Duke of Hell sits uneasily with him and digs up memories of the angel he once was. The matter of a truce between Heaven and Hell weighs heavily on the both of them, but their prior relationship proves to make this agreement more difficult than originally thought.
Bookmarked by UselessWhiteCrayon
27 Aug 2023
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Summary
Aziraphale and Crowley's tendencies to beat around the bush finally start coming to an end. They've been at their careful back and forth for millennia, but when notorious Gift Giver Crowley receives a present from Aziraphale, the ball truly gets rolling and the limits of how oblivious a pair of immortals can be are tested.
Bookmarked by UselessWhiteCrayon
22 Jul 2023
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Summary
Sparks fly when bestselling author, Crowley, meets restauranteur, Aziraphale, and they begin a whirlwind romance right away. But when Crowley has to cancel their third date for a business trip, he comes up with an idea - why not just take Aziraphale with him and have the third date on the trip? It seems like the perfect plan.
But you know what they say about the best-laid plans...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 91,274
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Comments:
- 1,267
- Kudos:
- 863
- Bookmarks:
- 152
- Hits:
- 24,274
Bookmarked by UselessWhiteCrayon
17 Jul 2023
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Tags
Summary
Over a thousand years on his own makes for a lonely existence, but Crowley has the life of another to think about, to protect. A mate would be a nice thing to have, but finding one's not at the top of his priority list after his latest disaster. Besides, it would be a fruitless endeavour after so long, wouldn't it?
His kind has hidden themselves away for centuries, and finding another is more akin to luck than skill. Crowley hasn't been very lucky, recently, but his troubles lead him to an auction.
Now if only this fussy human would stop bidding on the item he wants for his hoard, he could be on his way...
Series
- Part 1 of The Final Eggs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,030
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 179
- Kudos:
- 1,212
- Bookmarks:
- 249
- Hits:
- 17,266
Bookmarked by UselessWhiteCrayon
05 Jul 2023