cucumber_of_doom
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“I want to show you something later, Stede. Like, after dinner? Have dinner with the crew, then I’ll have your surprise ready. You’ll like it, I promise!”
Stede would love his idea!After getting to try so many of Stede's finest things, Ed wants to share one of the best things he owns too: Izzy's mouth.
This takes place the day after the party.
Series
- Part 3 of Free Use Izzy AU
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get you going once again (see you shine once more) by cucumber_of_doom
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Jun 2025
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No, a pretty, stupid, rich blond guy playing at captaining is worth a try. If his plan doesn’t work out they can still take his shit.
So Izzy goes along with Ed’s newest obsession, encourages it even. Anything to reignite that spark in his captain.What if Izzy actively brought Stede to Ed's attention in order to coax him out of his depression?
What if he still has a hard time on board the Revenge?Series
- Part 2 of Free Use Izzy AU
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Izzy gets swept over the side of the ship in a storm. Lucky for him, he gets picket up by the alien equivalent of animal rescue.
Since they can't safe his leg he isn't a candidate to released back onto earth and instead finds a loving home with giant space jellyfish Stede who tries his best to take care of his very first human!This is just some silly thing. Izzy has a bad time at the beginning, but then he gets to take a lot of long naps.
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Jack ramps up his charm, grin growing lascivious.
„What about a little two-for-one special?”
“The two of you for a third of what I usually charge for a single person? Sounds like a bad business decision to me,” she drawls but looks them up and down while leaning back against the counter next to Jack. She arches an eyebrow at him. “But you know what? I am not completely heartless. You lads pay upfront and get half a massage each. At the same time, ‘cause I’m gonna close up after this. What do you boys say?”
Ed needs a little pick-me-up after getting his heart broken and Jack does what everyone would do for their best bro: talking the MILF with the face tattoo at the massage place into a discount-threesome.
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fill me up and make me fat (you like me best when I'm like that) by cucumber_of_doom
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
17 Feb 2023
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The fact that Bonnet is here – no matter how much Izzy doesn’t want him to be – is something Izzy did not expect to happen. For a spoiled little shit like him to learn the truth about about what exactly Edward is and still wanting to stay. Wanting to see-
Wanting to see the kraken lay his eggs.
______________________________Izzy has always been there when Edward needed to lay a clutch of his eggs into a warm, living body. With Bonnet back on board and in Edward's bed that doesn't change.
(While getting stuffed and bred, Izzy gains some respect for a fellow monsterfucker.)
Recent series
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- Words:
- 10,170
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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The Bonds from London by cucumber_of_doom
Fandom: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Craig Movies), On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), SPECTRE (2015)
05 Nov 2020
- Words:
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Recent bookmarks
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All The Rest is Commentary by redwinterbloom for Dominus_Draconis
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Oct 2025
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Summary
“Defensive wounds,” Blackbeard had called them once, inspecting a Naval corpse. The mark of a man with not enough strength to fight back or enough sanity to die easily.
Izzy didn’t have to wonder which one he was.
An exploration of sadomasochism and devotion.
Edward is torn between two irreconcilable worlds: Stede and Izzy; Ed and Blackbeard. The easy way to resolve this would be to give up on one of them.
This is not a story about the easy way.
Series
- Part 1 of All The Rest is Commentary
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
19 Oct 2025
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“Ask anyone in this town and they’ll tell you I don’t kill people,” Ed shrugs, then pulls Izzy close to kiss him on the temple. The raw emotion makes Izzy’s diaphragms lurch, a sharp joint jutting out from his thorax and visibly pushing against his leather vest from the inside.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,676
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 36
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 143
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
11 Oct 2025
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Even with Bonnet back on the Revenge, there is no way for Izzy to leave this goddamned ship. Edward will make sure of that, whether Iz likes it or not.
When a figure from long ago makes his way on board, though, Izzy will have to face past choices and mistakes and decide what kind of future he's hoping for.Series
- Part 1 of Just to fall apart
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
04 Sep 2025
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Fringe Benefits by Baby_kraken, shieldmaidenofmithrilhall
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Jul 2025
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What if kraken era Ed had fringe? And a sentient and debatabley malevolent porcupinefish?
Or: Edward Teach's Guide to Breakups
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,633
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 39
- Kudos:
- 94
- Bookmarks:
- 15
- Hits:
- 685
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
24 Jul 2025
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Summary
"And you, Bonnet," Izzy shouted, "you have the fucking gall to tolerate their disobedience as if this ship will just magically run itself! And you have the godforsaken nerve to tell me off for keeping us all afloat, you fucker, you bastard, you goddamn–"
Izzy deflated, like a balloon which had run out of air. His eyes flickered to Ed, something like panic flashing across his face, before he turned back to Stede. Surprisingly, the panic did not lessen.
Stede, arms folded, simply raised an eyebrow. In his best stern voice, the one he'd used whenever Alma was being particularly stubborn, he addressed Izzy.
"Are you done?"
In which Stede accidentally soft-doms Izzy; Edward solves his identity crisis; Izzy gets valued and panics about it; Stede invents aftercare; Ed learns to talk about things and Izzy experiences A Positive EmotionTM.
Meanwhile, the crew only cares about workshops.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,473
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 450
- Kudos:
- 2,543
- Bookmarks:
- 582
- Hits:
- 37,106
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
22 Jul 2025