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Sirius Black has killed his brother. At least, his father is convinced he has, and that's as good as the truth. Then, the war ends, and he's faced with a choice— return north to New York and face his father's wrath, or, well...it's a big country...there's a lot of land, westward. A lot of land between New York and California.
That is, if he ever makes it to California, as he finds himself quickly immersed in the mysterious and seemingly illegal goings on at The Luna Saloon somewhere near the border of the Colorado and the Utah Territories, and its intriguing owners.
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Or, the author wanted to expel some frustration at the state of the world and write a self-indulgent cowboy story about taking justice into your own hands when the law of the land is unjust.
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Sometimes it feels like heaviness in his chest that he can't speak around. All the feelings and explanations and questions that he can't bring himself to voice for some frustrating, infuriating reason, stuck in the back of his throat and threatening to choke him. It makes him feel stupid and immature. Twenty years old and no better at expressing himself than when he was an angry little kid in school, still trying to navigate the traumas and consequences of having been bitten at five years old.
Sirius Black can be accommodating, sometimes. Rarely. But, he cares about his friends. Remus knows that when the words aren't coming, it's better to have a dog to comfort him than nobody at all.
(Or, five times that Remus Lupin asks Sirius Black to be a dog, and one time that he doesn't need to ask.)
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Sirius plays the game. Even though he makes it all the way to New York City, still he works for his father's company, still he capitulates to his parents' every stupid demand, he thinks: when Regulus, his brother ten years his junior, is old enough and can make his own choices, Sirius can leave all this shit behind. Every day feels like a waiting game, life on pause until the perfect conditions are met and finally he can live the life he wants to live it.
But now Regulus is old enough, and it's still the same old bullshit with no end in sight, and Sirius is drowning. Until one day, a Teaching Assistant crashes his motorcycle at his feet.
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Sirius Black and Remus Lupin have not been on the same page in months. Remus refuses to stop accepting every stupid request that Dumbledore makes of him, and Sirius refuses to be more cautious and spends half his free nights out at muggle clubs on the pull. Things come to a head when Sirius's brother, whom he hasn't heard from in over two years, shows back up again in his life.
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This is the worst part, the part that makes Remus wants to tear his ears off his head and makes the shame roil in his gut. That it's been so long, and that he's so fucking pissed off with Sirius recently, and still, STILL he can't get over this stupid crush that he's been harboring for years against his will. And even worse than that, that Sirius simply refuses to be quiet like a normal straight man. He's constantly moaning and talking and gasping and all of it carries straight through the thin wall separating their bedrooms, and Remus wants to punch him in his stupid handsome face. Or at least put something in his mouth and shut him the fuck up finally.
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The new maths teacher is the hottest person Remus has ever seen and for some reason won't stop talking to him!!! Remus is going crazy!
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