Chapter Text
“When someone else’s happiness is your happiness. That is love.” — Lana Del Rey
~~~~~Castiel~~~~~
Castiel wasn’t quite sure when the missing pieces of his memories started to filter into him, like he was looking through a dirty window that was slowly being cleaned, but he realized one day that he was remembering more. That he was beginning to see a clear picture of the way it had gone, of his mistakes, and the guilt was almost as deep as his fear. He was so very afraid of what he might have done if he had lost these lessons that these mistakes had given him. Afraid of making these mistakes again, afraid of having to choose the same way, afraid of things he could not name but only feel.
He was afraid, he was frustrated that Dean seemed to want to keep his mistakes hidden from him and he also…felt sweet…that Dean wanted to protect him. He kept his slowly regained memories to himself, for a lot of reasons. It was mostly because he didn’t want to see his relationship with Dean change. Before he had been confused, the missing pieces of his memories were misinterpreted and Castiel took liberties that he thought their relationship allowed. He held Dean’s hand, he lived in Dean’s room, and he could touch Dean in ways he had never been allowed before because of this misconception.
Castiel was unwilling to admit he remembered because it would mean going back to the way it was before. That would be unbearable.
So he never said a word, he kept his guilt, his anguish and this fear tightly bound up inside of him and shoved it so far down he could pretend most of the time it wasn’t there. Castiel looked at Dean as he breathed in, allowing Castiel to guide his grace inside of his soul and show Dean where his own grace was occupying. This was so intimate, a joining of the very essence of their beings and Dean had no idea how much this meant to him.
Castiel had never imagined that Dean would ever allow them to get so close. These lessons had been going on for a while now, since Castiel had convinced Dean to learn how to use the power growing inside of him and Castiel felt faintly guilty. He was using Dean’s ignorance to take liberties from him, but he had no intention of stopping just from his guilt. He couldn’t. In all his life, Dean was everything to him, all he ever wanted, Castiel just wanted to be near him and his beautiful soul.
Dean’s soul was so…beautiful…his soul had changed a lot during the years…it had been torn apart and it had now been remade…but it had never lost its beauty. When Dean opened his eyes they glowed a bright blue before fading to his normal blue eyes. “You are getting better at that,” Castiel said as he helped Dean stand up.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that…” Dean said as walked over to the Impala popping the trunk open.
“It will be better for you to do this while the grace is still running through you, your body will react quicker, and to pull this off we both will need to be fast.” Castiel said as he stepped up next to Dean. “Are you sure you want to do this now Dean?” Castiel asked one last time.
“I have to Cas, I can’t leave even the smallest chance that what happened to her before could ever happen again. I have to protect her this time,” Dean said with certainty while he got the sniper rifle out of the trunk and loaded his body with a variety of weapons.
“I know Dean,” Castiel said as he clasped his hand onto Dean’s shoulder, “I am with you…always.”
Castiel flew them into the vantage point Dean had picked earlier.
It had taken a week of careful preparation to get to this point. This was not the rage/guilt/grief filled retribution it was the first time, no, this was going to be a clean assassination. It was calculated, cold, and with Dean planning…it would be brutal. Castiel looked over at the Styne Mansion, he would clear the guards at the back and Dean would take out the ones in the front. Then they would enter…it was going to be a night filled with blood.
The start of it all was fast, Castiel flew to each guard snapped their neck and before they could hit the ground he was already on the next one. Dean was a machine, he dropped all ten guards in the front with headshots within a minute and then Castiel flew them into the mansion. Castiel went to the monitoring room, killing the three guards there before they had a chance to raise an alarm. Then Dean and Castiel went floor to floor, killing anyone they encountered. All headshots, it was the only way they could be sure that they were dead because the brain was the only organ they could never have spares of. The killings went on, a quiet affair that filled the air with the smell of blood. Until Dean came to a room, inside there was a baby boy…only a few months old…not yet a year but he had baby teeth.
Dean stopped and looked at him, “He was that boy…the one who hated his family…” Dean said quietly as he stood over the crib staring down at the baby that was sleeping with his thumb inside his mouth. “I killed him last time…he was very young…still in high school…” Dean sighed heavily, “This time…I will give him a family he can love and who will love him.” Castiel heard the guilt in Dean’s voice…he could tell Dean had regretted not giving this boy a chance last time. He had been too lost in grief and rage to even consider sparing anyone last time. That was Dean…to him once you’re family…you are everything.
They left him sleeping in the nursery and continued on. Dean found the other boys down the hall, he killed those two fast and they were dead before they could be afraid. The scars on their chest evidence enough for Dean that while they were young they were beyond saving. Already murderers at such a young age, and already twisted by this family of monsters. They took out the wife fast but Dean left the father alive, at this point they had killed everyone but the baby and this man. So Dean let him scream and just coldly held the man by the back of the neck with a gun pressed to his temple.
“You can yell all you want, there is no one left alive here that can help you,” Dean took him to the study and pressed him into the chair. Dean calmly chanted a mind control spell that made the man’s eyes go glassy. Dean had him transfer all his assets, every cent, to the series of bank accounts that Dean had set up just for this, once the deposits went through it would set off a chain of transfers that would go through various accounts that would be near impossible to track and it would be split up into various accounts in the end. Dean said it would be as waste to not take the several billion dollars from the Stynes. Castiel understood the need for funds better now that he remembered his time as a human…money made things easier and Dean wanted less attention from the FBI this time.
Dean shot him in the head after, every person here was killed with headshots after (to make sure they couldn’t come back from this). They took anything they thought was useful or that they might have use of in the future. There were a lot of old magic books here and the trunk of the impala could fit the block of it. Castiel flew the rest back to their motel room. Then they went around salting the bodies, dragging the bodies inside from outside, drenching the bodies in as much gasoline as they could spare and then they went back to the nursery.
Dean cleaned the blood off his hands in the attached bathroom then carefully packed up everything he thought the baby would need from the room. Castiel thought there was something beautiful about seeing Dean like this, covered in blood, yet carrying a sleeping baby tucked up to his neck gently humming Metallica. The baby was secured into the car seat in the back and then Dean went inside the house one last time. He turned on the gas in the kitchen oven and in any fireplace he saw with access. Then poured a line of gasoline to the door and threw a lit match down as he closed the door. When they left the back seat was packed with a bunch of baby things and the house was slowly being engulfed in flames. It blew up as they reached the end of the driveway. They went to a motel they booked in advance two towns over and cleaned up.
It was a long night and Dean sat for a long time staring at the baby crawling on the floor of their room. He looked a million miles away at this moment and Castiel gripped his shoulder, his hand warming up as he touched his imprint there. “I know they are dead and that they will never ever get a chance to hurt her again…but I can still see her Cas…I see her there, broken in that bathtub, broken because I brought her into a world filled with monsters…I couldn’t save her...I was too late.” Dean whispered…as if he was afraid saying this too loud would bring it into the world again.
“She loved you Dean, she knew the risks,” Castiel tried to comfort him but he didn’t know how to make this hurt go away.
“I should have been there, I should have killed them all the moment I knew they were a threat, I should have hidden her away, locked her in somewhere they couldn’t find her until it was safe.” It felt like Dean was cursing himself the more he rambled on what he should have done.
“You cannot change what you remember…because for you it happened…you experienced it…felt it…but Dean…you need to remember…that can never happen now. They are dead and Charlie is safe. You MADE her safe from them.” Castiel gripped Dean’s shoulder harder, hoping he could imprint the words into his mind.
“What about him? I took everything from him, everything, last time I even took his life, what am I gonna tell him…when he’s old enough to ask.” Dean asked with deep regret in his voice as he gestured to the baby crawling towards them.
For a moment Castiel was silent and then he said, “He will grow up knowing you hunt monsters, that his family were monsters and that you saved him from a life of suffering and madness. When he is old enough to understand then you can tell him…before then he will be your son just as Jesse is your son. He will have a family that loves, supports and protects him. He will have an older brother that will dote on him as you doted on Sam. We will be there for him and he will know…that family is more than blood.”
Dean lifted his head and grabbed Castiel’s hand on his shoulder. Then he said as if it was a prayer, “Once a wise man told me, ‘Family don’t end in blood,’ but it doesn’t start there either. Family cares about you. Not what you can do for them. Family is there, for the good, bad, all of it. They got your back. Even when it hurts. That’s family.” He looked up and caught Castiel’s eyes. They stared into each other and Castiel felt as if Dean had gripped his heart when he said, “You’re family and we will be family.”
“James Winchester,” Dean said slowly, “his name will be James Winchester.”
~~~~~KATE~~~~~
Kate was starting to think that every time Dean was gone for an extended period of time from the bunker she was gonna have to convert another room into a baby room. This was the second time just showed up with a baby and Kate was beginning to sense a trend. Jesse was delighted, of course. Kate used more will than she wanted to admit to not roll her eyes when she heard Dean had named the baby James.
Jesse and James… Jesse James…really?
“So how was everything here while we were away?” Dean asked as he held Jesse in one arm and hugged Jane with the other. Charlie was looking at the new baby suspiciously as he slept in Castiel’s arms.
Kate felt like she was going to have to really talk to Charlie about that since the way Jane was looking at that baby made Kate feel like there was definitely some baby fever in that girls eyes. Adam was looking nervous as Castiel tried to get him to hold the new baby. He looked like he was holding a bomb about to go off…and considering the baby was sleeping if he jostled him awake…that was a fair enough concern.
“Nothing too crazy, Jesse is counting to 100 now and has mastered his ABC’s, Charlie is in the middle of building a databank that has a search engine function so looking up things will be easier in future. She has me working on organizing the library now so that she can work on digitalizing that soon. Jane is helping too of course, though lately she has been working on making more of the rooms on the ground floor livable. No one wants to use the creepy deluxe sound proof rooms.” Kate said as she brought Dean into the slightly updated kitchen.
“I also found the map and the keys for the ancillary bunkers…somehow. Now, when was the last time you ate anything Dean? You look terrible.” Kate said as she forced him to sit down so she could cook him up some food. Dean let Jesse sit in his lap and Jane had gone with Castiel to set up James in Jesse’s room for now.
“Yeah, not much time for that, but on the bright side we have enough funds now that you don’t ever have to work again if you don’t want to.” Dean said as he ran his fingers through the nest of hair on Jesse’s head.
Kate gave him a dead eyed stare, “Yes Dean…because I am not working at all right now…”
Dean had the decency to blush, “Oh you know what I mean…you don’t have to worry about any money problems is what I am saying.”
“Well that is a relief, I don’t fancy trying out any fraud scheme when the money I got from the house ran out and I don’t feel good about going back to work and leaving you all to fend for yourselves.” Kate said as she fried bacon on low. “So you gonna call ahead next time you decide to bring back another baby? I am beginning to think you want to be Daddy to a whole football team. I’d be able to get Jane to get together a room for them by you at least. And I think we should convert one of them into a playroom soon.” Kate teased and chattered.
Dean smiled at being called a Daddy, he enjoyed that more than he had ever thought he would.
~~~~~SAM~~~~
Sam stared at the puppy in the box; the puppy stared back at him tilting his fluffy head to the side looking all sorts of adorable. Sam looked at the card in his hand again, Her name is Jean ~love Dean, then looked at the puppy in the box. There was a larger box next to the puppy box full of puppy things, a kennel, a bed, puppy mats, a pink bow collar, a leash, puppy food, and some toys. He looked at the paperwork in his hands that had all of Jean’s information on it, her shot record, her vet record, her AKC bloodline and then looked at the adorable little fluffy blonde long haired golden retriever puppy. Sam sat back in disbelief.
Somehow Sam couldn’t quite accept that Dean had sent him a puppy…why a puppy? The day just got weirder from there, he had gone to the bank to get some cash and found out his balance had gone up by about 60,000. Sam had thought maybe one of his scholarships had come early or something reasonable. Nope, not that, feeling uneasy Sam thought he should use the money to pay for next year’s tuition.
He had gone to the school with his new puppy Jean but he was only notified that his tuition had already been paid by his brother Dean.
Sam gave up on not calling his brother then, something was definitely up. Dean could not have gotten a hold of this cash through his small petty scams and fraud alone. Dean wasn’t stupid enough to draw attention to himself like that. Sam felt anxious as the phone rang, wondering what to say to Dean, how to ask…how to explain his silence and his new phone number. All things that ran through his mind as he aimlessly walked Jean around a small dog park.
“Hey there Sammy,” Dean said nonchalantly, like they had talked just yesterday and not weeks ago.
“Hey Dean…thanks for Jean,” Sam said feeling awkward and he didn’t know how to ask or even begin the conversation.
“Before you figure out how to ask no, the money is not something that is gonna get me in trouble with anyone…I came into some cash on a hunt…but you don’t want me to talk about that..do you Sam…” Dean said slowly.
Sam was frozen, torn between his curiosity and his caution. “…This won’t come back to haunt you will it Dean…that’s all I need to know.”
Dean was quiet, “Are you sure Sammy?...there are so many things I think you will want to know…things that you are gonna be pissed at me for not telling you if you find out later…. Things about my life now…a life you don’t want to have anything to do with but I think you have a right to know. So…are you sure Sammy…”
“I can’t Dean…I just can’t…I left that life…” Sam felt a whole mess of emotion that was hard to articulate. He wanted to know about Dean’s life, about what he was going through, he was curious about everything…so much so that he felt like he could feel it like ants under his skin. But he knew, he knew if he opened that door it would be like Pandora’s box…he knew whatever came out of it would only lead him down a path completely the opposite of where he wants to go.
His only recourse was painful willful ignorance…if he didn’t know…if he forced himself not to see…then maybe peace would come…maybe he could have a life like everyone else. Sam wanted a home, a family, a place he belonged, he wanted peace and joy…that was not what he could have hunting monsters on the road. He would be a man without roots if he let any possibility of that life sneak into his fragile normalcy.
“I’m sorry Dean,” Sam said mournfully, regret and bitterness coloring his tone.
“Yeah…me too Sammy…me too.” Dean sighed and Sam hung up the phone before he gave into temptation.
Sam sat, wet grass seeping into his pants as he ran hands through his hair trying to not cry. Then Jean put her floppy puppiness in his lap and licked his face. Sam buried his face into her fur and pretended that it was slobber not tears that soaked into her fur.
~~~~~Bobby~~~~~~~
Bobby poured himself a shot of whiskey to deal with the headache only one of his boys could give him. Dean had called that morning to let him know to expect a sizeable deposit into his account, but Bobby hadn’t been expecting to see six figures and had damn near shit himself thinking about how Dean had swindled himself that much cash. A follow up call had assured he had a brewing migraine and a lot of killing intent he would need to vent in a hunt soon.
Fucking monsters…fuck people turning themselves into monsters…fucking frankensteins. Bobby groaned and took another shot of whiskey and debated whether or not he should call John to tell him about this or not. Dean hadn’t said to keep it to himself but ever since Sam had left the relationship his boys had to their father was icy at best…non-existent at worst. In the end Bobby said fuck it and decided he would let John have a nice little shock from this later.
If he could hide a fucking half grown child from his family he was gonna have to endure turnabout since it was only fair.
Bobby knew he would need to call Ellen soon, Dean had wanted to set up a meeting at the Roadhouse for something and Bobby just knew it was going to be another headache. There was dread but also a lot of anticipation. He hadn’t seen Dean in a while and from what Bobby could gather Dean was bringing along his new brother. He didn’t even try to stamp down the petty satisfaction on meeting John’s youngest before he did.
John seemed dead set on being the absolute worst father; he couldn’t even use being a hunter as an excuse as far as Bobby was concerned. Will had done a fantastic job as a father and a hunter to Jo before John had gotten the man killed. Ellen had never forgiven John for that and something told Bobby she was going get some vindictive pleasure out of being in a closer confidant of Dean’s then John is right now.
~~~Dean~~~
Dean wasn’t sure what he felt about the conversation he just had with Sam or what he was feeling now. In Baltimore two men had shown up with their hands and feet severed with the amazon symbol on their chests. All Dean could think about when he saw that was Emma…his daughter that had grown up too fast and died too soon. A daughter that had looked so much like his mother it had hurt him for a long time to think of her. He had pretended to not care afterwards but had spent many nights wondering if he could have saved her.
He knew what he was planning on doing was wrong…he just didn’t care. As far as he was concerned the amazons owed him a daughter and that was a debt he intended to collect. He had asked Cas if he could stop her growing up so fast, if he could let her grow up slow like every other baby, and he said that Dean should be able to sever the bond with the goddess that insured he rapid growth. Cas hadn’t spoken much after that, because he knew that Dean was going to do this no matter what.
Dean wasn’t stupid, he knew it hurt Cas, but he would do what he had to…he wanted his daughter this time. He had been given this chance to clear his regrets and redeem his mistakes and as far as Dean was concerned this had been a big one for him.
It was easier than he had anticipated to find her, Lydia, it was like he had a homing beacon inside of him that had taken him straight to her. It was equally as easy this time as it was last time to get her to leave with him. He took her to a motel he had booked earlier, he had a small moment of crisis getting down to it and in the end he had to pretend it was Cas to get hard. When it was done Dean made sure to tie her up tightly on the bed with a gag in her mouth to keep her quiet.
Castiel came in a few minutes later and made sure that Lydia remained unconscious while they watched over her. It was frankly disturbing to watch Lydia’s stomach grow bigger over the next few hours. Cas let her wake up for the birth, Dean was grim faced and determined, anticipation bubbling up inside of him as he waited for his daughter to be born. He was there for every second of it and he cut the cord as soon as she was out.
Dean nodded to Cas and Cas reached down then, grabbing Lydia’s face in his hands and then very decisively snapped her neck. Then he flew her body to the grave they had prepared for her earlier to salt and burn her. Dean in the meantime washed his beautiful daughter down and got her dressed in an incredibly soft onesie he had prepared. Cas was back within a few minutes and checked over the baby for him.
“You need to sever the connection now Dean, while it is fresh and fragile. Feel her with your grace, not just your mortal senses,” Cas instructed.
Dean felt the connection, it felt wrong, a perversion, he wanted it gone…destroyed…his daughter did not belong to her. Instinctively Dean reached out for that thread of power he felt around his daughter, the whites of his eyes bled black and the blue of his eyes glowed. He tapped into not only his grace but also the darkness Amara had placed inside of him. He used the darkness to destroy the connection; it consumed it until there was nothing left of it and then his grace cradled his daughter. A new connection was made and his eyes faded to normal as a smile bloomed on his face.
Cas approached him then and Dean gently passed the newborn into his arms. “I want you to name her,” Dean said as Cas looked up at him in surprise and shock.
Dean looked at Cas holding his daughter and then moved to the bed to bundle up the sheets to clean up the mess Lydia had left behind. He would need to salt and burn that as well. He then seriously contemplated burning down the room before he thought better of it. Cas was silent as he was alternating between watching Dean and cradling the baby in his arms. “Jael….” Cas said causing Dean to look up at him.
“Jael?” Dean asked curious.
“She was a strong woman…a warrior like your daughter will be, like her father is, strong, strong enough to do what needs to be done even if she doesn’t want to.” Cas said solemnly.
Dean looked at the baby in his angel’s arms and as much as he didn’t want any of his children fighting…he wanted to protect them…he knew they would all be warriors. He would have to teach them how to protect themselves when he couldn’t…he would never do it the way John had done to him but he knew his father wasn’t wrong in teaching them. His daughter was an Amazon…that was going to be with her forever…that meant a part of her would want the fight.
A Warrior.
Cas slid Jael into his arms after he gathered everything and then said, “I will take care of this, and the rest of them. You get her to the next motel.” Dean tried not to think about why Cas wanted to go hunt down all the amazons currently occupying Baltimore and smite them. That way led to thoughts best left for a less emotionally fragile night.
Left alone with his baby daughter Dean sat in a chair just holding her for a minute so he could look at her. Originally her name would have been Emma, she would have grown up within a few days, strong, and beautiful…she would have looked like his mother. All blonde hair and blue green eyes, Emma had been so heart breakingly similar to his mother that Dean had been stunned. Sam had to kill her last time and Dean knew it down to his bones if Sam hadn’t Dean would have let her kill him. He had loved her, it had stunned him how much he had love her, it had been fragile, new and small thing…but he had loved her.
It had broke something in him that the only child that he had ever had…biologically speaking…was killed by his brother. The brother that he loved enough to sell his soul for and that left him in a weird place. Sam had done a lot to him over the years, they had both hurt each other in ways that threatened their bond, but killing his kid before he could even try saving her. That had been one of the hardest things Dean had ever had to forgive Sam for because he had understood why he had done it. He knew that had the situation been reversed Dean would have killed his niece to save his brother.
Dean held Jael, small fragile newborn; she had curly blonde wispy hair and smelled like a new baby. She was calm and quiet in his arms, blinking at him sleepy and so…so his…and in that moment it hit him. Jael was his fourth kid, Jane, Jesse, James, and Jael. Dean chuckled…all Jays. All belonged to him. He was a father now…not that he hadn’t before…but this was the first time it hit him so hard that he had four lives so dependent on him. That he would need to be the father John never was…he had pushed down the fear that brought…because he couldn’t afford to hesitate with the other three.
Jael was the first one he brought into his family with his own design…she could have never existed…he could have avoided her birth all together. The other three would have been there even without him…could have lived on without him but not Jael. He gave her the bottle he had prepared and made sure she was burped before he tucked her into the car seat with the soft linen baby blanket he had bought for her. It was October now, fully into fall and heading into winter.
October 8th…as good a birthday as any he supposed. This time last year Dean had been on his own mostly, the holidays had been spent on the road but this year was going to be different. This year he had gained four children and another younger brother. This year he would need to make time to dress his kids up and take them trick or treating. He would need to plan a thanksgiving dinner with Kate and Charlie (who was surprisingly savvy in the kitchen). He had Christmas gifts to buy and he had a home to put up a tree and decorate.
So even though this was going to be possibly the longest night for him waiting on Cas to finish Massacring a bunch of Amazons…it was also the start of something Dean was afraid to name. There was a warmth that…for the first time in his life did not start and end with Sammy. There was a responsibility that weighed heavier on him than the one he had for Sammy…something he had never thought possible. He had a home, he had a life, and one step at a time Dean felt the stirring of…hope.
Amara had given him this…hope…he had thought that this feeling would forever be out of his reach…that hope for a better future. Yet, here he was terrified by the growing hope inside of himself. Dean understood now how Amara must have felt when Dean had managed to give her hope…it was everything…and all he could feel was terror that mixed with warmth.
~~~~ADAM~~~~~
When Dean brought home Jane he had been stunned, when he had come back with Jesse he had been startled, when he had arrived with James he had been stumped…but when he had come home with Jael Adam had just been resigned. Adam had thought seriously about changing his name to a J name to see if Dean would notice and just adopt him as well. From what he had observed of Dean and his sudden plunge into fatherhood…well he would much rather have Dean be his dad than John.
Dean was great with all his children (and no one was gonna convince him that Dean hadn’t adopted Jane as well). James was just getting into the walking and falling stage…giving Adam and Dean mini heart attack every toddling step. His mom found that endlessly amusing but Adam failed to see how it could be anything short of terrifying. If someone wasn’t watching the little terror he would try to climb things that he had no business climbing when he was barely able to walk three steps without falling.
Jesse was a little angel, fetching diapers and fully potty trained (thank god). Plus he was at least at an age that Adam could understand at least 95% of what he was saying. James was a babbler, he mostly made sounds that Kate swore were words but Adam refused to believe that. In fact Adam was sure the only thing that baby could say was Dada and he was no wholly convinced that wasn’t some accident in his baby sounds.
Jael was like a little doll, she mostly just ate and slept and stared at the air in baby fascination. His mom said she couldn’t consciously smile yet but Adam refused to believe it. Jael was always smiling when Dean held her…and she refused to eat whenever anyone else tried to feed her. Adam was convinced she was 100% a daddy’s girl. Dean spent most of his time now for the last few weeks walking around the bunker with her strapped to his chest in this long strip of fabric that his mom had taught him how to use to carry her.
Adam was convinced it was black magic…Dean had gotten so good at tying the damn thing Adam could keep up with how he did it to figure it out. Somehow Dean managed to find time to do music lessons with him for bonding time. There was usually a movie after dinner that the whole family cuddled into a pillow fort on the ground for…even with the perfectly good chairs being readily available.
His mom, Dean and Charlie were alternating who cooked what when. Adam would take it to the grave that he preferred Dean’s burgers and pies over his mom’s. Some things you just don’t say to a lady…at least that’s what Dean said. Charlie had fit into their crazy bunker life with surprising ease. She was always teaching Jane new things since Jane had spent the majority of her life chained to a wall.
That had been a very uncomfortable conversation that Adam could honestly say he kind of wished he didn’t know. Jane was possibly the sweetest girl he had ever met and if she wasn’t older than him he would be happy to be an older brother to her. He sort of was anyways, because she was so god damn naïve. Dean had basically adopted that girl, and it had made for an interesting dynamic when the other kids came into the picture.
Jane was the most doting older sister he had ever seen, she was eager to hold all three babies and had tried more than once to get them all three in her arms at the same time. Cas was an odd guy to be around sometimes… mostly because you could cut the sexual tension between him and Dean with a knife it was so thick sometimes. Adam had wanted to talk to Dean about finally making a freaking move already but his mom had stopped him.
She said that whatever was going to happen between those two had to come naturally and it would only blow up in their faces if they said something to Dean. Adam strongly suspected John’s influence in Dean’s reluctance to act and that honestly made him postpone meeting that prick anytime soon. Oh, Adam knew he was going to have to do it sometime but the glimpses he had gotten from Dean about John’s parenting style had him really contemplating how to talk his mom into accepting John as an estranged grandpa and Dean as his new daddy.
He could dream…right?
Adam was actually really excited about Halloween this year, it would be his first with a coordinated outfit with the whole family (thanks to Charlie’s campaign), they were all going as Alice in wonderland characters. Dean was the Mad hatter, Cas was the caterpillar, Jesse was the white rabbit, James was the Cheshire cat, Jael was Alice (oh course), Jane and Charlie were twiddle dee and dumb. His mom was the Queen of hearts and he was the March hare.
“What do you think about Jason?” Adam said half seriously. His mom looked at him exasperated, but still turned soft eyes to look at Dean. He was holding Jael in one arm and Jesse on his other hip. James was being carried by Cas and somehow it was a sweet picture. Adam nearly rolled his eyes when he saw his mother take more pictures with her camera, or he would have if he wasn’t already putting in his order for copies.
“You realize that if you keep insisting on making your brother your dad we are definitely going to have some…inbred vibes going on in our family,” Kate teased as she hugged him into her side.
He was almost as tall as her now, thanks to a growth spurt and he was still getting used to it. “I could be a Jimmy? Go with that Jim Bob feel?” Adam teased and looked at the smaller kids being held by Dean with envious eyes. His mom giggled and hugged him again.
“You’re just gonna have to be content with being the loveable younger brother.” She said as he squeezed him. “Speaking of brothers, have you warmed up to the idea of meeting Sam yet?”
Adam scowled, “No,” he said firm and flat. Dean might forgive Sam everything but Adam could not. He was too jealous of the years Sam had with Dean, the time he had missed, and he had yet to get over the anger of Sam just throwing that away. His mom hummed and nodded in acceptance. She checked in on his state of mind a few times a day, whether to encourage him to try to reach out to john and Sam…or to just check in on his mental state. Well…Adam had no idea.
His mom was awesome and he loved her to bits.
His family was bigger now, loud, chaotic, there was danger and adventure it seemed around every corner. Adam loved his new life and he would shoot anyone that tried to take this from him. Adam ran over to Dean getting a baby filled head pat and was enlisted to help carry candy bags. He didn’t mind, later they were going to take a bunch of pictures at the park, his mom had even brought the tripod so she could get in on this. Adam was contemplating making albums. His mom was always taking and developing pictures that always ended up a box somehow in spite of her best intentions.
Adam laughed and teased Cas about Dean being the house husband now since Jael had yet to take a bottle from anyone but him. Cas just smiled a soft happy smile at Dean all dopey eyed again and Adam contemplated hitting them both over the head and locking them in a closet in the bunker. He needed them to just kiss already. Jesus, it was getting gross how much they looked at each other all dopey and loving. BUT THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Adam was close to contemplating murder from sheer frustration, he caught Charlie’s eyes and she gave him an eye roll and groaned.
They both were getting to the end of their patience. Adam grinned, he loved his family, he loved his full, blusterous, life so much.