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After a long day of work, there are few things Roman likes better than getting fucked. Sure, a bubble bath is good, as is fine wine and cheese, but honestly? A good hard fuck is often what he needs. Working with his family is fucking exhausting, and if he’s going to be exhausted, he wants to at least get an orgasm out of it.
Today wasn’t particularly tough, but that doesn’t really matter, as any night is a good night to head to a gay bar. There’s a place around Adam Clayton Powell that’s pretty good, so he gets dressed up for the night and takes one of the more discrete drivers.
Roman strolls into the Lambda Lounge after being dropped off a few blocks away. This place may be classy, but he still doesn’t need to be fucking dropped off in front like a preschooler. Since he’s looking to get dicked down hard tonight, he doesn’t want to seem like too much of a fucking asshole. Just a big one, rather than an enormous fucking one.
Taking a moment at the door, Roman lets the low jazz fill his ears and scans the room to see if any particular man catches his eye. A few who look like they could give him a good fuck, but no one in particular. Ah well, he has time. He can start with a drink at the bar.
Saddling up to the counter, he tells Rodrigo to serve him his regular. A sound to his right tells him some guy is fucking choking to death, so he turns to see if it’s a sexy stranger he can save and it’s fucking Kendall, here, in his fucking favorite gay bar.
Kendall is just staring at him, pink drink dripping from his chin and onto his white shirt. Good. Roman hopes the thing costs him a fucking fortune.
“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Roman hisses. “This is my fucking spot!”
Kendall blinks, still startled, but at the very least he stops staring at Roman with eyes fucking as wide as dinner plates. “Fuck you, what the fuck are you doing here? Did you follow me?”
“Why the fuck would I follow you? I don’t fucking care what you do.” Rodrigo comes back with his cocktail, a Stay A While, and Roman takes the opportunity to glare fucking daggers at the man. “Why is this fucker here?”
“You see, he came here, and he gave me money for a drink. It’s this hot new trend called a business transaction.” Rodrigo raises an eyebrow on his perfect fucking chiseled face and it disappears into his beautiful dark curly hair. “You two know each other?”
Fucking tall dark and handsome Rodrigo knows fucking well who Roman is and has spent many nights serving him drinks as he complains about his family and looks to get laid. Fucking Rodrigo probably thinks it’s hilarious as shit Kendall happened to wander into Roman’s fucking favorite gay bar. God, he would have slept with Rodrigo ages ago if people sleeping with him didn’t suddenly understand how truly fucked-up he was.
“Fuck you. Get this fuck another, what’s he drinking? A Hughes, judging by the pink puddle on the floor? Get him a damn cocktail. We’re taking a booth table.” Rodrigo dutifully makes another cocktail as Roman seethes. Fucking Kendall has ripped away his favorite cruising spot. Doesn’t matter if his brother never comes back, now it’ll have his stench all over it.
Finally the drink is done and Kendall wordlessly picks it up and follows him to the side of the room, having apparently decided silence is the best response to Roman’s scowling face. The next few minutes, in fact, are full of light jazz and silence as Roman sips his drink in anger. He even catches eyes with a hunk of meat he’s sure could pound him into tomorrow, but the man’s eyes slide on right by as he notices Kendall sitting across from him, hunched over and clutching his drink like some little frightened chihuahua. Fuck, they need to talk about this so Roman can go chase some tail.
“So! Brother of mine.” Smiling tightly, he flicks the straw wrapper for his drink at Kendall’s face and actually smiles when he hits him dead on. They don’t usually give people straws for cocktails, but Roman always asks for one so they finally stopped trying. Fucking tree-humpers still make sure the straw and wrapper are compostable though. “Mind telling me why you’re poaching my spot?”
Unfortunately, Kendall has gone back to the staring. His brother’s fingers drum against the table like the man is nervous, which makes sense because Kendall is always a fucking tightly wound ball of nerves. God, if anyone needs to get fucked into tomorrow, it’s Kendall.
Holy shit, that’s why Kendall is here! Before Roman can squeal in delight at this realization, Kendall’s finally opened his mouth. “I, uh, wanted to get out. Roman, why are you here? I honestly had no idea you would even show up. Or that you even knew this place existed.”
Wait, back up.
Roman sets his drink down and folds his hands together, resting his chin on top. It’s unbelievable Kendall is this socially inept. Like, honestly.
Pursing his lips and making puppy-dog eyes, he tsks his brother and sighs. “Wow, Kendall. I had no idea you were homophobic.”
Kendall stiffens and scowls. “I’m not—I didn’t even know you were gay! How could I be homophobic?”
“Exactly!” Roman snaps his fingers and downs his drink. “Unbelievable you didn’t know I was gay. So homophobic. You’re paying for my drink, by the way. As repayment for your homophobia.”
“How was I supposed to know you’re gay?! You sleep with women all the time, you had a girlfriend until like last week!”
“Uh, yeah, it’s called a cover story, ding-dong.” Unfortunately, now that his drink is gone, he has nothing to do with his hands. He pulls out his drink straw and tries to bend it into a dick. “Can’t believe you didn’t know. I mean, just look at me.”
Blue dress shirt with no tie, a black suit jacket, black pants, and a white watch. Could he be gayer?
Okay, admittedly, his outfit is only mildly gay, but the important thing is that he looks nice and successfully communicates he’s looking to get fucked rather than do the fucking. Whereas Kendall seems to have literally come here straight after work. Fucking workaholic motherfucker.
The dick-straw is unsuccessful. He flicks the straw’s corpse at Kendall, who barely reacts and doesn’t even bother trying to block it. “Enough about you missing all signs and being so socially inept you couldn’t tell someone was hitting on you if they literally whacked your face with a hammer. You’re here looking to get fucked, right?”
Hands suddenly shaking—holy shit Kendall should be a lot better at hiding his nerves than this, no wonder he’s still not the big boss—Kendall sucks in a few quick breaths as his eyes dart around the room. “I’m, well. Admittedly curious, but not really looking for sex tonight.”
Rolling his eyes, Roman shimmies around the table so he can saddle an arm over his brother’s shoulder. “Oh come on! You’re still not hung up over that Rava chick, right?”
Shoving him off, Kendall tries and fails to move away, as he’s at the edge of his seat. “Yes, Roman, I’m still hung up over my wife and the mother of my children, thank you.”
Roman smirks. “Oh, come on. You wouldn’t have come here if you weren’t looking for some action. And you’re not looking to fuck a guy. Or if you are, well, you can if you want. Good to try it out. But I really do think a dick up your ass will do you some good.” He pats Kendall on the chest. “Really, it’s a remedying experience. And it’ll dislodge the stick you have up there.”
“Fuck you,” he snaps, and Roman nods, satisfied he has successfully distracted Kendall from his gay panic. In reality it’s more likely a bisexual panic, but close enough. Roman’s full gay, but Kendall does seem to actually have some interest in women. Fucking weirdo.
“Good talk, bro! Alright. So. Normally I’d say you have to leave, but now that you know this place exists I’m never coming back here. So unless you have something important to say, I’m going to go ask Rodrigo when he gets off his shift! Any questions?”
His brother squints and takes a sip of his fruity drink. “How long have you been gay?”
Rolling his eyes, Roman shimmies his way back to the other side of the table and stands up so he can brush imaginary dirt off his pants. “First rule of being gay, don’t fucking ask invasive questions—”
“It’s not fucking invasive, I’m your brother—”
“ Second of all, don’t say ‘how long have you been gay,’ implying like it’s being fucking vegan or something—”
“And for the record, I don’t think I am gay, and I’m not really looking to label—”
“Third of all, I’ve been having sex with men since I was like, 17, not that it’s any of your business. Anyways, I’m off! Have fun not getting fucked tonight.”
Strolling up to the bar and ignoring Kendall calling out to him, Roman feels no shame as he finds out Rodrigo gets off his shift in 30 minutes, and his place is just around the corner. He also feels no shame when he blinks up at the man and asks if he’s willing for 30 minutes to be now, because his older brother is going to be a fucking bother if he’s not out of this bar in the next 30 seconds. Maybe he feels a little shame seeing someone start to chat up Kendall, who clearly has no fucking clue how to respond, but his brother is a big boy, and can figure out how to suck dick all by himself.