Chapter Text
It had been a month since Theo had last seen his friends, a month of frenzied research to find the answer to the grief he felt. His crew (his family?) had done their best to help him in any way they could, but even they couldn’t make it completely better.
Ironically, Theo could finally begin to understand what his friends had gone through upon being separated from their families. He tried not to think about how they might be going through it all over again.
To make matters worse, he woke up and remembered it was Tom’s birthday. His friend was turning seventeen, and he wasn’t able to be there. But then he felt selfish because his friend instead got to spend it with his family, and who was he to wish that ripped away from him?
He forced himself out of bed, out of the room that was too empty without the laughter and warmth he’d become accustomed to. At this rate, he should probably start sleeping in the common room.
He trudged to the kitchen to see everyone else already there. “Good morning, Tommy,” Philza greeted, moving to plate some food for him. Since he was the only Tommy on board now, the crew had started referring to him by his real name all the time.
“Morning,” Theo replied, sitting down in a chair. “Wilbur, any luck with those tests you were running last night?”
“No, none,” he replied. Wilbur gave Theo a long glance, “You look dead; maybe you should take the day off.”
Theo snorted and shook his head, “Thanks, good to know I look exactly like I feel. I’ll be fine; today is just extra depressing.”
Philza put Theo’s food in front of him. “Why’s that?” he asked.
“Tom’s birthday,” he explained, picking up a utensil and stabbing at his food.
“Ah,” Philza said, understanding.
“What are human birthday celebrations like?” Wilbur inquired.
“Usually, you receive presents from family and close friends,” Theo answered. “Humans use colorful paper to disguise the gifts, and then the receiver rips the paper off to see what they got. They also have a ritual where they serve a dessert with a number of lit candles equal to the human’s age. You’re supposed to make a wish and then blow them out. Some humans subscribe to a superstition that you can’t tell anyone the wish, or else it won’t come true.”
“How old do humans live?” Wilbur wondered. “It seems like it would be hard to fit all the candles even after only twenty to thirty years.”
Theo frowned, “I’m not sure; I never asked. As far as I could tell, we’d aged identically, so we probably have similar life-spans.”
“What kind of dessert?” Philza inquired, intrigued.
“Usually some kind of cake,” Theo remembered. “There’s no real standard; it varies based on personal preference. Sometimes people will break tradition and swap out the cake for other desserts. Tom and I tried baking Theseus something for his birthday, but it went about as bad as it could have.” He smiled at the memory, bittersweet. “We barely had enough time to hide all the evidence before Theseus woke up from his nap.”
Philza chuckled at the anecdote. “You know, I’ve been thinking of baking something for a while now. Maybe you’d all like to join me?”
“I don’t know,” Theo said. “I had some hypotheses I wanted to-”
“Tommy,” Technoblade interrupted, speaking up for the first time from where he’d been sitting and listening to the conversation. “You’ve been rejecting most group activities for the past month. You’ve barely let yourself enjoy anything since they left. Theseus and Tom wouldn’t want you to make yourself miserable on their behalf.”
The worst part was that Technoblade was right. Theo knew from first-hand experience exactly how his friends acted when they thought he was overworking himself. The only difference between then and now is that they were no longer here to stop him.
“Please, Tommy?” Wilbur asked. “We’ve tried giving you some leeway here, but we’re worried. We support you no matter what, but we can’t stand by and let you drive yourself into the ground. What you’re doing is important, but your friends would agree with us that you’re allowed to take breaks. Just take today off, have some fun.”
Theo hadn’t considered that his actions didn’t only affect him but his crewmates as well. He didn’t want them to worry about his health. He had a responsibility to both of his families. “Fine,” he conceded. “I’ll help you bake today.”
Philza brightened up. “That’s great!” he said. “I was thinking of making a kuko or a torta-”
Somehow, it went worse than his and Tom’s attempt. Philza did his best, but even he couldn’t compensate for three people lacking the slightest clue how to bake. After multiple failures and disasters, it dissolved into a full-fledged food fight, batter and ingredients flying across the kitchen. Theo wouldn’t have had it any other way.
“I just can’t enjoy myself today,” Tom told Ranboo and Tubbo. They were up in his room, surrounded by the many, many presents people had sent him, some of whom had never even sent him a card before. They’d just had a small party consisting of just them and his family. “It feels like they should be here.” He ran his hands back and forth along the scarf that Theseus had embroidered, a self-comforting activity he’d taken up in the last month.
“That’s probably because they should be here,” Tubbo pointed out. “There’s nothing wrong with recognizing that.”
Tom huffed, “It would be easier if there were something I could do about it, but no, all the stuff I could use for research got confiscated for investigation, and I don’t even know where to start.”
“Your family said they would help,” Ranboo reminded him. “You’re not figuring this out alone.”
“My family is made up of superheroes, not scientists,” Tom pointed out. “At best, they can try and hire a third-party, but there’s every chance it won’t go unnoticed. The Hero’s Guild probably won’t be happy that we’re trying to open new portals. They’d call it a ‘plausible threat’ or whatever.”
“Still, it shows how much they care about your happiness that they’re willing to go behind the Guild’s back at all,” Tubbo said.
Tom sighed, “I know they’re taking a big risk just to make me happy, and I really am grateful, but it’s hard to be optimistic when there’s been no progress.”
Phil knocked on the door, “Boys? Can I come in? I have a few more gifts.”
More gifts? Tom struggled to think of anyone he hadn’t gotten a gift from yet. “Sure, Dad!”
Phil entered the room, “I know you must be tired of gifts by now, but I think you’ll appreciate this.”
Tom frowned as Phil placed a large cardboard box in his lap. He opened it and felt around inside. The first thing he grabbed was... a phone? Wait... “Is this my phone?” he questioned, digging around the box more. He also found his holo-pad, the charger Theo had made, and every single item the Hero’s Guild had confiscated from him. He faced his dad in awe, “How did you get all this back?”
“I threw a bit of a stink,” Phil admitted with a chuckle. “No one wants to say no to the great hero Raptor. In addition, it helped that Sam was willing to fib a little and say that he couldn’t reverse-engineer the technology. Technically he could have, but it would have taken him a long time, and he agreed that you should have your stuff back sooner than that.”
Tom stood up, placing the box to the side, and hugged his dad. “Thank you,” he said with every ounce of gratitude he could muster.
Phil hugged back, “I know how much the memories they contain mean to you. Speaking of which-” He stepped back, and suddenly there was the sound of waving paper. “Unfortunately, the battery to what you called a ‘holo-pad’ ran out of charge during the investigation, and we didn’t know how to recharge it. But I did get copies of the pictures they got off it before that happened. I’m planning to look into getting them made into 3D pieces for you, so there’s a way for you to relive the memories. It may take a little while, though, since there are literal aliens in the pictures, and we can’t just send them to anyone-”
Tom hugged his dad again. “Thank you,” he repeated. He truly was grateful for how his whole family had tried to understand and accommodate what he was going through.
“Happy birthday, Tommy,” Phil said, brushing the hair from his face. “Unfortunately, I am also the bearer of news you’re not going to like.”
Tom immediately pulled back. “Traitor!” he cried. “Luring me in with thoughtful actions and love, only to stab me in the back at my weakest.”
Phil laughed, “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. That’s Will’s job. I just wanted to talk to you about starting school again.”
Tom whined, “But I’ve already missed half the school year! It would probably be easier to get me a private tutor. I never liked going to classes anyway, and I don’t want to be ‘that kid who went missing for several months.’”
“That’s fair,” Phil agreed, “but I also think returning to physical classes would give you back a sense of normalcy.”
“Dad, nothing’s normal now,” Tom pointed out. “When I see my friends again, we’re going to be too busy together for me to be going to classes five days a week. Where do you think I’ll learn more, a classroom or a literal spaceship with technology far beyond our own?”
“I don’t like the idea of you dropping your studies altogether,” Phil admitted. “How about I look into getting you a tutor for homeschooling, and we can cross that other bridge when we get to it?”
“Fine by me,” Tom agreed. “Anything else?”
“Well...” Phil said. “You’ve been through a lot these last few months, so I wanted to talk to you about getting a therapist too.”
“Should we leave?” Ranboo inquired. “This feels like something private.”
Tom waved a hand dismissively, “Nah. There’s nothing I’d tell a therapist I wouldn’t tell you guys. But, Dad, I’m not sure you’re going to be able to find a therapist who will listen to me ramble about aliens and alternate versions of myself without prescribing me antipsychotic medication.”
“There’s always Puffy,” Phil pointed out. “She’s technically a licensed therapist as well as a hero.”
“Puffy’s honorary family,” Tom said. “She comes over for dinner all the time. Aren’t therapists not supposed to have emotional ties to clients?”
“This is a bit of a special case,” Phil said. “I’m not going to force you into anything; I just want you to think about it.”
“I think I’m handling myself quite well under the circumstances, but fine, I’ll think about it,” Tom said.
“Tommy, that’s not what this is about,” Phil reassured. “You are doing wonderfully under the circumstances. You did wonderfully while you were gone too. I’m so proud of you for getting back to us and even making real connections. However, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to sort through with a professional. There were probably many times you were scared.”
Memories flashed through Tom’s mind: The adrenaline rush as he and Theseus ran for their lives, the abject terror when Theseus wouldn’t wake up, the fear for Theo and the ensuing fight when he heard the officers say they were arresting him, having to protect Philza and alien Wilbur from the pirates. He shook his head anyway. “Not right now. I’ll let you know if anything comes up that falls outside Ranboo and Tubbo’s ‘best friends’ jurisdiction.”
“We have his back,” Tubbo assured Phil. “We’d let you know if we were worried for him.”
“I suppose that’s all I can ask for right now,” Phil conceded. “Are you boys staying for dinner?”
“Do you think we could stay the night?” Ranboo asked. “Sleepovers usually help Tommy on his bad days.”
Tom flushed and elbowed Ranboo in the side.
Phil chuckled, “Of course. We’re always happy to have you. I’ll call you down in a few hours for dinner.” His footsteps sounded as he left, closing the door behind him and heading downstairs.
Tom groaned, “Great job keeping up my reputation, Ranboo.”
Tubbo snorted. “Oh, please. You melt at any physical contact, period. Everyone who knows you already knows you’re super fucking soft.”
Tom nailed both of his friends square in the face with pillows.
Analia was Theseus’s new favorite person. Well, not counting his family and friends, so his new eighth favorite person, technically. With the context that she didn’t only see into the future of this world, but other worlds as well, she looked a lot more like an underappreciated genius than a madwoman. Honestly, with how far into the future she’d been able to see in multiple dimensions, he didn’t fault the woman at all for being a little odd.
Theseus had gone over Analia’s writings and found sprawls in the margins in Common here and there. Most of the time, it was sarcastic commentary, and he found Analia hilariously funny for a woman who died centuries before. It was a strange thought that she’d left little notes for him to read hundreds of years after her death.
What he couldn’t find an explanation on was why Analia would work to bring about such a strange timeline. Perhaps meeting Theo and Tom would avert a bad outcome in one of their worlds. Perhaps it was specifically for their personal growth. Or perhaps Analia just thought this was the funniest timeline possible and decided to launch a centuries-long prank. Whatever the reason was, he felt he owed her a debt of gratitude. Despite everything he had to go through to get to this point, he wouldn’t change any of it for the world. He truly was glad to have met his friends.
Of course, that meant getting back to his friends was at the top of his priority list. He’d transcribed a translation of the instructions for his father’s benefit and had quickly convinced him to help carry them out. Unfortunately, it wasn’t simple magic, so it took an entire month before they were close to being ready.
The month of waiting could have been better, but it also could have been worse. It was easier to stomach the absence of his newest flock members when he had a definite plan to get them back, and his parents knew how to help him manage his instincts as well. Theseus still missed his friends with or without his instincts’ involvement, though, and he knew they had to be suffering too.
After weeks of work, he was so close to getting them back. He checked and double-checked the arithmancy to make sure there were no mistakes. He even polished the amulet that had started everything and would be the center of the portal spell to a sparkling shine. (Okay, he didn’t actually know if cleaning it would do anything, but it couldn’t hurt.)
Finally, finally, everything was in place. Analia’s amulet would be doing most of the work; the spell Phil would be casting just a catalyst that would set it off. If everything went well, it would create two stable, semi-permanent portals, leading to his friends’ worlds.
(If Theseus made sure he looked his best that day for meeting Tom’s family, well, that was no one’s business but his own.)
And then, it was time. Theseus was almost shaking in excitement and anticipation as his family gathered around the setup.
“I can’t wait to meet them,” Kristin said, putting a calming hand on his shoulder and squeezing.
“I can’t wait for you to meet them either,” Theseus admitted. “I know you’ll love them.”
“Everything should be set,” Phil announced after doing a final check. “Can everyone stand back a bit?” The group took several steps back from Phil, and the Emperor began to channel the spell.
Near instantly, the runes and sigils marked on the floor began to glow, becoming brighter and brighter as time went on. Then, beams of light erupted from them, converging on the amulet on a pedestal in the very center. There was a blinding light and a loud cracking noise.
When Theseus was finally able to see again, there were two oval portals, one on each side of the amulet. Unlike the swirling vortex of the unstable portals, these acted like windows, clearly showing what was on the other side.
Theseus approached them, heart hammering, but Wilbur stopped him before he could reach the portals, grabbing his arm. “Be careful,” his brother said, giving him a pleading look.
Theseus gently pulled Wilbur off, “Don’t worry. I’m never trading one family for another ever again.” He gave his family a long look, saluted, and stepped through the portal that showed the familiar interior of the Dormena.
There was no discomfort or disorientation this time. It felt the same as stepping from one room to another. He looked around, recognizing alien Wilbur’s lab. He turned and looked back through the portal at his family. “There’s no one around; I’m going to go look for them.”
“Don’t take long,” Phil asked.
Theseus nodded and headed off, strolling through the halls and looking for any sign of the crew. It didn’t take long for him to hear the sounds of a commotion and loud chatter, and he picked up his pace to follow it.
“Theo?” he called out as he tracked the noise to the kitchen. He stepped inside and was immediately hit in the face by flying batter. He swore loudly in surprise, and the commotion stopped. Theseus wiped the batter from his eyes to see all four of the crewmembers frozen mid-action and staring at him.
“Thes?” said Theo, all four eyes wide. Food products covered him from head to toe as he held four potential projectiles and reached for two more, and he was the most wonderful thing Theseus had ever seen.
Theseus grinned widely, “Hey, Theo. Sorry it-”
He never got to finish his sentence, as Theo threw himself at him and wrapped him in a six-arm hug, covering him with food. (So much for looking presentable for Tom’s family.) “Stars, Theseus! Holy fuck, you’re back!”
“I am,” Theseus agreed, returning the hug, beaming so widely his cheeks hurt. “We got stable portals to both worlds working.”
Theo lifted his head to look at him in awe, “You mean-”
Theseus nodded, grabbing Theo’s hand and pulling him along, “Let’s go find Tom.”
“Stop by our room to grab the translator!” Theo instructed. “Otherwise, my family will need us to translate for everyone.”
“Good idea,” Theseus agreed as they sped through the halls. They stuck their heads in, grabbed the translator, and flipped it on as they hurried.
They tore out of the portal into Theseus’s world, then back through the other into Tom’s world, barely giving Theseus’s family enough time to process their appearance and disappearance. “We’ll be right back!” Theseus promised as they dashed by.
The two of them appeared in an empty bathroom and shared twin looks of surprise at their exit point. As they stepped out, they almost immediately bumped into an unknown human boy dressed in pajamas.
The boy blinked, stepping back from them and looking them over before crossing his arms in front of his chest. “It certainly took you long enough to get here,” the boy said, tapping his foot. “Tommy’s missed you something fierce.”
The two of them just stared at him. “Who are you?” Theo asked.
“Tubbo!” the boy replied. “Tommy said he told you about me. He told me all about you too! Theseus and Theo, right? Did you know you’re both covered in food?”
They were both more than a little stunned by Tubbo’s nonchalance. “Uh, I was having a food fight,” Theo explained. “Where’s Tom?”
“Upstairs, third door on the right!” Tubbo announced. “You’re going to have to wake him up; I’m only awake because I wanted a midnight snack. Get going; I’ll wake everyone else!” Tubbo ran off, shouting for the rest of Tom’s family.
Theseus and Theo gave each other confused looks before thundering up the stairs, following Tubbo’s directions.
They burst into the room and flipped the light on, startling both Tom and another human boy (probably Ranboo, Theseus guessed.)
“Ahh, what the fuck!?” Tom protested, unable to see who had just burst into his bedroom.
Theseus grinned, unable to help himself, “Is that any way to greet your best friends?”
“It’s too late for this,” probably Ranboo muttered, staring at them. “Congrats on getting your friends back, Tommy. If this turns out not to be a weird-ass dream, I’ll meet them in the morning.” He instantly rolled over and pulled the covers over his head.
Tom just sat in his bed, mouth slightly agape. “Guys?” he asked in a small voice. “Is it really you?”
“No, it’s someone doing a very accurate impression of your voice,” Theo said, rolling his eyes. “Get over here so we can hug you, dumbass!”
Tom didn’t need any more convincing, launching himself out of his bed and at their voices, and they caught him easily, wrapping him and each other in a tight hug. “How?” Tom asked in a shaking voice, clinging to them as if his life depended on it.
“Magic,” Theseus answered, back to grinning like a maniac.
“And you’re staying?” Tom asked.
“We can go between worlds whenever we want,” Theseus confirmed. “We’re not going anywhere you can’t reach us ever again.”
“Happy birthday,” Theo added with a smile.
“Oh, fuck, is it really?” Theseus asked, surprised. “I completely forgot to keep track!”
Tom laughed and buried his face into their shoulders with a sniffle. “Dumbass. You’re so bad at remembering birthdays.” Theseus chirped comfortingly, even though Tom didn’t have the biology to react to the noises. Tom pulled back a second later, frowning in confusion. “Are you two covered in food?” he questioned, making a face.
Theo grinned, “Yes, yes we are.”
“What the fuck?” Tom questioned, mystified. “Why? And why did you ask me to hug you if you were covered in food? Now I’m covered in it too!”
“We didn’t want you to feel left out,” Theseus laughed.
“Tommy?” said Tom’s father, coming up the stairs, “Tubbo just woke me up and said your friends were here. Is everything-” He paused in the doorway, eyes widening. “Oh,” he said. “Tubbo wasn’t kidding.”
Theseus grinned and waved at the man identical to his own father. “Hello. I’m Theseus.”
Theo waved as well. “Theo,” he introduced himself.
“Huh,” Tom’s dad said, looking them over. “How did you get here?”
“Portal in your bathroom,” Theseus answered. “Just so you know, it’s probably going to be there for the foreseeable future, sorry.”
“Good to know?” Tom’s dad said. “Why are you all covered in food?”
“Because these two jerks didn’t tell me they were covered in food before I hugged them,” Tom answered, wiping at his eyes. “You should probably tell Will and Techno Tubbo’s not waking them up for nothing.”
Theseus nodded, “Meet us at the bathroom; then we’ll introduce everyone.”
“Okay? Sure. Yes, I’ll do that,” Phil said, clearly a bit disorientated from all this as well as just having woken up. He turned around and headed back down the stairs.
Tom turned and faced them again. “No, really, why are you covered in food?” he asked, trying to clean himself off.
“We’ll explain later. Let’s head down first,” Theseus suggested. “Things might get a little awkward without us there.”
Tom nodded but kept a tight grip on both of their hands (not that either of them minded.)
They hurried down the stairs and to the bathroom, finding Tom’s family and Tubbo staring at the portal in their pajamas.
“I can never use this bathroom again,” Wilbur bemoaned. “I can’t be expected to take a shower in here if there’s every chance someone might appear from thin air.”
“Yeah, sorry,” Theseus said, scratching the back of his head and making everyone turn to stare at them instead. “We didn’t have much control over where the exit would be. This is where Tom vanished, so it’s where the universe border is weakest.”
Technoblade looked them over curiously. “Icarus, Arachne, and Tiresias,” he commented.
Tom tugged at their joined hands, “Come on, Thes! I want to meet your family!”
Theseus smiled and led the way through the portal. His family stood right where he had left them. Theseus’s instincts were overjoyed to finally have all of his flock in one place. His father smiled, “Hello, boys. It’s good to finally meet you.”
Tom groaned, “I’m going to have such a hard time following this conversation with three different versions of everyone; you all sound the same!”
“Should we come through?” Tom’s dad asked, peering through the portal, looking curiously at the alternate versions of himself and his family.
“Be my guest,” Theseus’s dad offered.
Theo walked over to the other portal and convinced his crewmates to come through as well. It didn’t take long before finally, finally, everyone was in the same place.
Theo’s family seemed mildly embarrassed to be covered in food, and Tom’s family was still in pajamas and stifling yawns. It was an absolutely ridiculous first meeting, but Theseus supposed that nothing about this was ever going to be normal.
Theseus threw one arm over each of his friends’ shoulders. “Boys,” he began, grinning wider than a madman, “I think this is the start of something amazing.”