Chapter Text
Soon they found themselves in a supply closet.
It felt a bit cliché, trying to find a secluded place in a hospital to have a private conversation in and then settling on a cramped room with cleaning supplies. If this was a romance movie, they would just start yelling at each other and then they would kiss passionately. It was a good thing this was not a romance movie, considering that Sirius was his brother and Regulus had absolutely no desire to kiss him; though he couldn't help but think that if this was a movie, the coming conversation would have been a whole lot more simple.
The door clicked behind him and he took in the sight his brother made. He had pretty dark circles under his eyes, most probably not directly caused by the kidnapping but father by long-term exposure to high levels of stress. His hands held barely noticeable tremors; Regulus wasn't sure if this was because of the adrenaline or whatever the Death Eaters did to him. Actually, shouldn't the doctors be checking him and Lily over too? He should come back to that after this. And, yes, after, because Regulus was realistic and knew that Sirius wouldn't do anything until he got some answers.
While Regulus was thinking, Sirius put up a silencing charm and was now looking at Regulus, probably mulling over what to say.
Then he took a deep breath and started: "Look, I know I was… probably not the best brother in the world but… if you have any problems, there are people you can talk to, you know? You don't have to -"
"Sirius," Regulus interrupted him with a shake of his head, "that's not- I'm really not suicidal."
Sirius was still looking at him with an expression of concern and disbelief.
"Really!" Regulus said defensively, arms crossed over his chest, partially as a defensive gesture and partially as a comfort. "The Hat just likes to complain about everything. Like, how he should have sorted each of us to a different house and such…"
Sirius just shook his head. "I don't care that the Hat likes to complain. You went out and fought Death Eaters, Reggie!"
Regulus looked at him incredulously. "You have been going out to fight Death Eaters longer than I have, even longer than I have even known there was a war! How is that different?"
"Because you were a traitor, Reggie! Me? I knew if they caught me, they would torture me for a bit and then take me out. The only reason they didn't do that today was because I was more useful alive. But you? Have you heard what they do to traitors? Because I have! I have and I thought: 'At least that can't happen to Regulus.' That was the only thing keeping me from breaking down when I heard you had died, because I knew it wasn't the Death Eaters that killed you; no one knew how you died. And you- you were alive the whole time, going out just to rile them up?"
Sirius sounded heartbroken, but he also sounded angry, and that just made Regulus frustrated. "What?! I wasn't just 'trying to rile them up', I was trying to save lives! Helping Daisy was the right thing to do and we knew what we were doing. Why do you think I made everyone think I was dead? For my own amusement? No! It was so no one knew it was me under that cloak, to make sure no one would go looking for me, or you! It was so no one could use my weaknesses against me."
"That wasn't your responsibility!" argued Sirius, but that was the wrong thing to say.
"Not my responsibility?!" he shouted. "Not my responsibility, you say? That's not for you to decide, what is or isn't my responsibility! You're such a hypocrite, Sirius, I hope you know that! You always made me feel bad about listening to mother, but I listened anyway, and you shunned me for it. And then I finally woke up, I- I swore to do everything I could to do the right thing, to redeem myself, in my eyes as much as yours. But it was my decision! And now you're saying it wasn't my responsibility?!"
Regulus took a deep breath and continued, much more subdued: "I took the Mark, the thing you said only a monster would do. Are you saying you would forgive a monster that has come looking for a clear conscience without having paid but a thought in repentance?"
His eyes were downcast but he could feel Sirius' own boring into him.
It was a thought he had a million times since he first started doubting the Cause. He had already taken the Mark by then, and his mind conjured up the scene without prompting: Sirius - catching his wrist suddenly, yanking his sleeve up and seeing the ugly dark brand that Regulus himself loathed the sight of, looking up with vicious hatred and righteous anger, right into Regulus' eyes, and then walking away without a word.
Nevermind that, by then, Sirius had not spoken a word to Regulus in a few weeks and would not for another…well, not until now, actually.
But, and that's important, Regulus had been slowly letting go of the torturous image, not only because he had more important things to focus on, but also because of Daisy and her lessons on gaining self-worth (because Harriet had experience, apparently).
Unfortunately, being confronted with the person he had regular nightmares about was not exactly good for his mind and he could already feel slight tremors running through him at the thought.
Which is why he flinched and looked up when Sirius took a step forward, his body preparing to run from the danger, even though his mind knew his brother would not physically hurt him. However, he was only met with wide eyes, horror and hurt in equal measure. He did not get any time to process this as two strong arms wrapped around him and-
And nothing. It was a hug. A hug and nothing more.
That was all it took to break the dam.
Regulus could not have stopped the sobbing if he wanted to, and as he were - still jittery and taut; he did not spare a thought to denying himself this sense of relief.
Distantly, he noted that there was a growing wet spot on the back of his shirt and was grateful that he wasn't the only one of them that needed the reassurance.
(And the part of his brain that did not do well with emotions idly noted that this was, at least, better than a kiss would have been. Seriously.)