Chapter Text
As soon as they are back aboard the Normandy, Shepard orders Wrex, Garrus and Liara to Doctor Chakwas. Liara says nothing, but nods her head, letting Shepard know she's heard and won't complain—her two hard-headed aliens crew mates, however, try and insist that there's nothing wrong with them and therefore it's not necessary. Shepard listens to them complain as she strips herself out of her armour, putting it and her weapons away in her locker, before she turns to face them with her green eyes narrowed. She's caught enough glimpses of herself in the metal of her locker to know that her eyeliner has smudged, thanks to all the heat down in Therum, making her look just the right side of unhinged, so that when she says, 'I don't want to hear it. Get your asses to Doc. It'll be a two second scan and if you are really uninjured, you'll be free before a minute is up. I'll be right behind you, so don't even think about skipping out.'
It's enough to have them taking off, grumbling as they go, but going nonetheless. Shepard watches them with a smirk, nodding to Liara to encourage her to follow after them. She looks a little hesitant and awkward, but does so. When she disappears into the elevator, Shepard turns her attention back to her locker, ensuring everything is organised as she finishes removing her armour. She tries to ignore the constant tremor in her hands, the ones that haven't really stopped since she first stepped foot into the mining shaft.
But when she brings her omni-tool to send a message, she realises there's no way she can do that. She grits her teeth, curling her fingers into fists as she gives her hand a furious shake. It doesn't really do much, but she is able to finish drafting her message.
Send to: Alenko, Kaidan; Nar Rayya, Tali'Zorah; Urdnot, Wrex; Vakarian, Garrus; Williams, Ashley.
Subject: Meeting Room
I want all of you in the meeting room in the next twenty minute for a mission debrief. We found and retrieved Doctor T'Soni, Matriarch Benezia's daughter, so let's see what she knows.
Speaking of whom: I doubt she knows the way to the Comms Room, so if you see her on your way, make sure to bring her.
~ Commander Shepard.
After hitting send, Shepard heads over to the elevator, riding it up to the next level. She offers smiles to the shipmates that she passes, as she first makes her way to the small room she had been granted thanks to her position as commander of the ship. She quickly sheds her under armour and, despite really wanting to shower, shoves on her uniform. She's in the process of tucking her shirt into her baggy cargo pants as she makes her way over to the med-bay where she knows Doctor Chakwas is probably waiting for her.
'I appreciate you sending the others to me for a check-up after a mission, Commander,' the doctor says as she glances up from her datapad to check who was coming in. 'Injuries can go unnoticed in the heat of battle and it's always better to be safe than sorry. Unfortunately, not many people realise that…'
Shepard offers the doctor a smile. 'Learnt that the hard way, Doc,' she says, immediately wincing as she brings up the memory of Akuze. She rubs a hand over her face, knowing that there's no way in hell she's going to get a peaceful sleep tonight.
'Everything all right, Commander?'
'Nothing new, really. Being underground was terrifying; the earthquake reminded me of Akuze; I'm going to be suffering from nightmares for at least a week now.' She waves her hand in dismissal. 'It is what it is. I have the crew waiting for me in the Comms Room, though, so…'
She trails off awkwardly, not really wanting to order the doctor and tell her to just examine her, but also knowing that talking about this isn't going to make a difference.
Thankfully, Doctor Chakwas seems to be a saint, for she merely nods her head and, without saying another word, brings up her omni-tool. She scans Shepard quickly, waiting until her omni-tool beeps with results before speaking again. 'Elevated signs of adrenaline and cortisol, but that is to be expected. Apart from that, no obvious sign of injury.' She smiles at Shepard then as she lowers her omni-tool. 'You're free to go, Commander.'
'Thank you, Chakwas.'
She turns, already making her way to the door, but before she's close enough to trigger the automated system, Chakwas calls out her name. 'Shepard?' She waits until Shepard turns around to face her again, before she continues, 'I know from your record that, any previous sleeping aids you have tried haven't helped you in anyway, but if you would like, I would be more than happy to work with you to see if we could find something that did work for you.' She smiles at Shepard them, a warm, kind thing that somehow reminds Shepard of her father, which only has her heart tightening further at the thought. 'You don't need to decide right this second—I just wanted you to be aware that you have such options. The decision is entirely yours, Commander.'
It's true that, immediately after Akuze, Shepard had been prescribed numerous meds to help with her mood, sleeping, pain. She's gradually weaned herself off them in the six years since then, but the first ones to go were the ones giving to her to help her sleep.
They hadn't touched her—not really. The first lot she had been given would make her feel exhausted and she'd be out for the count in the matter of minutes, but then the nightmares would start and they'd keep her under, even when she longed to just wake up. She always felt a million times worse when she finally was able to escape the clutches of her dreams, and she'd be terrified to fall back over, which mean she was still losing sleep. The ones after that had been a little lighter, and had kept the nightmares at bay to grant her at least two hours of uninterrupted sleep…but that was the max. And she couldn't take anymore so, she when the nightmares finally started and she woke up, she'd either be fading in and out in a vicious cycle of waking and nightmares, or she just wouldn't be able to sleep at all.
Which, again, kind of defeated the purpose, so she preferred just taking her chances with her own body and mind.
But at least this time she knows she'll be working with a doctor who will actually listen to her and her problems, rather than just writing her off because they just wanted to get her out the door and onto their next client. That they didn't give two fucks about.
Eliza nods. 'I'll think about it. Thank you, Doc.'
Chakwas' smile only grows. 'Of course, Shepard.
Without another word, Shepard turns and leaves the med-bay. She crosses over to her quarters first, knowing that before she can attend this meeting, she'll have to file a quick mission report for the Council. She opens up the template that she normally uses, quickly filling in the gaps, before sending it over to Joker so he can add his own information.
She quickly checks her watch and realises that everyone should be there waiting for her, so she leaves her room and takes the ramp up to the next level, continuing on until she finds herself standing outside the Comms Room. She takes a deep breath and glances down at her hands, smiling a little to herself when she discovers that her fingers aren't trembling quite as badly as they had been earlier.
With that little boost, Shepard steps into the room, pleased to find everyone is already there, waiting for her. A frown finds its way onto her face when she sees a clear divide between their seating position, however—Kaidan and Ashley sit on one side, with Garrus, Tali, Wrex and Liara on the other.
Sucking on her teeth, Shepard strides down the centre and, rather than take a seat, she positions herself in front of the FTL Comms console. She turns her back to it and leans against it, folding her arms across her chest as her emerald graze flickers back and forth between the two sides of the room.
Before she can find the right words to address this division, however, Joker's voice comes over the comms. 'I just want to say one thing: that was too close, Commander. Ten more seconds and we would've been swimming in molten sulphur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull.' He takes a pause, allowing Shepard the chance to roll her eyes up at the ceiling, even though she knows Joker can't see her. 'Just for future reference.'
'We almost died out there and your pilot is making joke?' Liara demands as soon as the comms go dead, and Shepard blinks over at the asari. She's not sure why she's surprised that the asari doesn't take too kindly to jokes and dark humour. Ironic that the asari can be both so judgemental and holier-than-thou, while so many of them work as dancers in seedy clubs like Chora's Den.
Shepard shrugs. 'It's a coping mechanism. You'll get used to it.'
'I see.' Liara shuffles in her seat. 'It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, Commander.' She takes a deep breath and then smiles across the room at Shepard. 'But I am grateful to you. You saved my life back there. And not just from the volcano. Those geth would have killed me. Or dragged me off to Saren.'
Before Shepard can respond to Liara's words, to let her know it was no problem, that she's welcome, that now Shepard is grateful to be the subject of such nice words…Kaidan is butting in, asking, 'What did Saren want with you? Do you know something about the Conduit?'
Pursing her lips, Shepard bites back the reprimand purely because it is a question that needed asking and answering.
Thankfully, Liara has no problems doing the latter. She shuffles in her seat again, tucking her hands under thighs. 'Only that it was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them. However, because of my youth, other asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the Protheans. Which is why my research has not received the attention it deserves.'
Shepard blinks down at Liara. 'How old are you, exactly?' she asks, realising a second later that it may be a little rude of her to ask such a question. But she's always been upfront and blunt, no matter how much trouble it gets her in. She's not going to start changing now.
'I am only one hundred and six.'
Before Shepard can react, Ashley is letting loose a low whistle. 'Damn! I hope I look that good when I'm your age,' she says with a smirk on her face, trailing off with a chuckle that has Shepard's own lips tugging up at the corner.
A blush spreads across Liara's cheeks then as she fiddles with her hands, having pulled them free from beneath her thighs to do so. 'I understand that a century may seem a long time to a short-lived species like yours,' she admits in a soft, almost hesitant voice, as if she's worried how her words are going to be taken. 'Amongst asari, I am barely considered more than a child.'
Shepard hums thoughtfully. 'It's not easy—not being taken seriously because of your age.' And Shepard knows that from experience. She learnt all she could about engineering from her father, but when she joined the Alliance, it was like she had been sent back to the beginning because she was only eighteen. She had been shadowing her father since she could walk, but they didn't seem to care about that—not until she excelled in every single task they assigned her without any issue.
Liara offers her a smile in response, a small, gentle thing that speaks of shared difficulties. It lights her face up, Shepard notes, enjoying how her bright blue eyes sparkle. She stares for a second too long before she clears her throat, drawing her attention back to the present. 'I actually have my own theory about why the Protheans disappeared,' she says, trying to draw the conversation back to the topic at hand—namely why Saren wanted Liara and the Conduit.
Liara blinks. 'With all due respect, Commander, I have heard every theory out there. The problem is finding evidence to support them. The Protheans left remarkably little behind. It is almost as if someone did not want the mystery solved. It's like someone came along after the Protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues.' She shakes her head, almost to herself, lost in her own thoughts. 'But here is the incredible part. According to my finds, the Protheans were not the first galactic civilisation to mysteriously vanish. The cycle began long before them.'
Shepard smiles, pressing her lips together in an attempt to disguise it. She doesn't want anyone to know just how adorable she finds the asari, as she talks about the things she's passionate about. The way her eyes light up and her movements become a tad more expressive. It's clear that Liara enjoys what she does, even if she doesn't get the respect or attention that she deserves for her work.
Licking her lips, Shepard asks, 'Where'd you come up with this theory? I thought there wasn't any evidence.'
'I have been working on this for fifty years,' Liara states, and a hint of defence appears in her voice. Shepard can tell it's an argument she's had many times before, no doubt with those older asari that she mentioned previously, and she's readying herself for the same sort of thing here. 'I have tracked down every scrap and shred of evidence. Eventually, subtle pattern start to emerge. Patterns that hint at the truth.' She takes a deep breath and shakes her eyes, a frustrated furrow appear on her brows. 'It is difficult to explain to someone else. I cannot point to one specific thing to prove my case. It is more a feeling derived from a half-century of dedicated research.'
And while Shepard believes the asari, mostly due to the vision that the beacon gave her, she can understand why the other scholars have been hesitant to accept it. It's hard to believe when there's nothing to see as proof. It is why, as science rose, religion fell, because there was something people could see to explain the things around them, and no longer had to take it on faith that it was some higher being.
Oh, she knows that there's still a lot of people out there who believe in a higher power, but it's definitely not as many as it was, even before the discovery of the archives on Mars.
'I know I'm right,' Liara eventually continues, drawing Shepard from her thoughts. 'And eventually, I will be able to prove it. There were other civilisations before the Protheans. This cycle has repeated itself many times over.'
'If the Protheans weren't the first, then who was?' Tali asks, speaking up from her place at Liara's side. She's tilts her head to the side in a clear attempt to portray her curiosity.
'I don't know. There is barely any evidence on the Protheans. Even less on those who came before them. I cannot prove my theory. But I know I am right!' And honestly, it takes all of Shepard's strength not to coo and how cute she's being—especially when she knows her young age is already a sore sport for the asari. 'The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each time a great civilisation rises up, it is suddenly and violently cat down. Only ruins survive. The Protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy. Yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. Their greatest achievements—the mass relays and the Citadel—are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all the other forgotten civilisations throughout galactic history, the Protheans disappeared.' Liara takes a deep breath, finally realising that she needs air if she is to continue speaking, and again, Shepard is overcome with a surge of affection. 'I have dedicated my life to figuring out why.'
Again, Shepard has to pull her brain back up to her head, instead of where it had sunk between her legs. She's been single for too long, it seems. Swooning and sighing over the first cute little asari that she meets. She needs to get ahold of herself. And maybe get laid the next time we get back to the Citadel, she thinks before clearing her throat and straightening against the FTL comm link she rests on.
She sniffs and says, 'They were wiped out by a race of sentient machines called the Reapers.'
Liara's eyes are large, almost comically so, but there's so much going on within them. Curiosity, confusion, wonder, disbelief. It's like she can't seem to settle on any one emotion. She clears her throat. 'The-the Reapers? But I have never heard of—' She shakes her head and when she blinks and reopens her eyes, she's finally settled on an emotion. Determination. 'How do you know this? What evidence do you have?'
A part of Shepard wants to snort at her demand. She wants to quip back with a "It's more a feeling I have, but I know I'm right!" to see how the asari would react…but she knows that would be needlessly cruel. And despite the initial burst of annoyance at being questioned in such a manner, she can't really fault the doctor for being curious. It's not like she knows that Shepard had nearly been killed by a fucked up Prothean beacon that seared a screwed up message in her brain that she still can't make heads nor tails of.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Shepard explains, 'There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned a vision into my brain.' She takes another breath and exhales through her nose, reaching up to rub her palm against her forehead. It's almost like any time she thinks about the beacon, the message comes rearing back into her mind and the headache it brings with it is fucking agony. 'I'm still trying to sort out what it all means,' she adds when the images have stopped flashing in her mind and she can see what's in front of her once more.
'Visions?' Liara ventures, sounding a little hesitant before she nods. 'Yes…that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. Finding one that still works is extremely rare.' She gives a breathless little chuckle. 'No wonder the geth attacked Eden Prime. The chance to acquire a working beacon—even a badly damaged one—is worth almost any risk.' She blinks up at Shepard when she takes a few steps further into the centre of the room. 'But the beacons were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology. Whatever information you received would have been confused, unclear.'
Shepard snorts, pinching the bridge of her nose. 'You can say that again.'
Her hands move to her cheek, feeling the raised, slightly softer skin of the large scar that spreads across her left cheek. She knows there's a matching one that cuts through the hair of her left eyebrow, leaving a permanent gap. And then there's another slit about a half a centimetre next to it—that one she purposefully cuts into place.
Liara blinks up at her, a soft smile finding its way onto her lips. 'I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong-willed, Commander.'
Shepard blinks back at her, trying to process those words. There's no way…is she…can she be flirting with me, too? She feels her throat dry as a smile starts to spread across her lips, feeling her heart rate increase at the prospects that Liara is attracted to her. She licks her lips, readying herself to make some sort of comment, something a little discreet, since they are still surrounded by the rest of the crew.
But before she can, Alenko's voice cuts through the silence. He scoffs loudly and declares, 'This isn't helping us find Saren. Or the Conduit.'
And honestly, Shepard has never wanted to punch a subordinate as much as she does in that moment. Her fingers curl into fists and she's almost turning on her heel to reprimand him, for speaking out of turn and with such derision to a fellow member of their crew.
But again, her words are interrupted. Liara clears her throat and nods, that pretty blue blush of hers spreading across her cheeks and down her neck. 'Of course. You are right. I am sorry.' She clears her throat again and tucks her hands back under thighs, trapping them once more. 'My scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that could help you find the Conduit. Or Saren.'
Offering the asari a reassuring smile, Shepard steps forward. 'I don't know why Saren wanted you out of the picture, but I think we'll be a lot better off if we bring you along.'
Liara stands from her seat, putting herself directly in front of Shepard, allowing her to notice that she's at least four inches taller that the asari. She knows at least an inch of that will be because of the boots that Shepard likes to wear, but she rather relishes the knowledge that she's taller. She does have a thing for being the big spoon, after all.
'Thank you, Commander,' Liara states, glancing up at Shepard through her eyelashes. 'Saren might come after me again. I cannot think of anywhere safer than here on your ship. And my knowledge of the Protheans might be useful later on.'
'And her biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts,' Wrex states simply, but his words make Shepard remember the way the asari had frozen when the geth and the other krogan had shown up. She can't have that happening again, even if she does have her biotics to help her.
Shepard hums. She'll talk it over with Liara later. In private. 'Glad to have you aboard, Liara.'
Again, Shepard's answered with a dazzling smile. She swallows. Get yourself together, Eliza!
'Thank you, Commander. I am very gratef—whoa.'
Shepard watches as the asari's eyes flutter, her body swaying where she stands, almost losing her balance until she's able to recover herself at the last minute. Shepard' hands still dart out, reaching for her arms, wrapping firmly around her elbows in an attempt to keep her steady and vertical.
'You all right there?' Eliza asks, voice soft and filled with concern, green eyes keenly regarding the asari before her.
Liara nods, swallowing thickly. 'Yes. However, I am afraid I am feeling a bit light-headed.'
Shepard brings her hand up to cover Liara's forehead, pressing her palm gently against the skin there. She's never met an asari up close before, let alone touched one's skin, so she's surprised when her skin is soft to the touch. She's not really sure what she expected, since there's a clear scale-texture visible to the purple hues of her skin…but it's not much different from Eliza's own skin.
Perhaps she can feel the grooves when she traces her fingertips along it, but it's nothing too obvious or off-putting. She actually finds she rather likes the sensation against the sensitive pads of her fingers.
Her temperature seems fine to Shepard, but she doesn't know enough about asari physiology to know what's considered normal and what's not. For all she knows, they're supposed to be much cooler or warmer than humans, and this is a clear sign of an illness.
Before she can find her words, too lost in the sensation of her soft skin against her palm, she hears Kaidan say, 'When was the last time you ate? Or slept? Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you.'
And that's enough to remind Shepard that they're not alone. They're still in the Comm Room with everyone else staring at them with a mixture of confusion (the human side) and a certain knowing that has her pale cheeks reddening (the alien side.)
Clearing her throat, Shepard steps back and nods. 'That sounds like a good idea. I know you were just there, but that was more a post-mission quick check. Head back to her and get a full work-up done so that we know you're fit for the field. I'll stop by and speak to you later, okay?'
Liara stares at her for a few seconds, blinking up at her slowly, before she suddenly comes back to herself, nodding her head. That pretty blush seems to be a common feature on her face, and Shepard appreciates it every time she catches sight of the darker blue across her nose and cheeks.
'It is probably just mental exhaustion, coupled with the shock of discovering the Protheans' true fate. I need some time to process all this.' She seems to notice the growing furrow between Shepard's brows, for she quickly adds, 'Still, it could not hurt to be examined by a medical professional. It will give me a chance to think things over. Thank you, Commander.'
Liara clears her throat and then turns to leave, which finally makes Shepard realise what the others are waiting for as she finds them still on their seats, but their gazes focused entirely on her. 'The rest of you can head out, as well. I'll try and do a round later, but if you need to speak to me about anything, just send me a message and I'll come to you as soon as possible, all right?'
When her words have been acknowledged by everyone, she puts a smile on her face. 'Dismissed, then.'
They waste no time, getting to their feet and heading towards the door. She sees Tali and Garrus fall into conversation, as Kaidan and Ashley talk quietly as they follow them out of the Comm Room. Shepard stares where she is, watching them depart until the door slides shut behind them and she's left alone.
She finally releases a sigh of relief and slumps backwards, her back leaning against the FTL comm panel.
'Mission reports are filed, Commander. You want me to patch you through to the Council?' Joker's voice comes over the comms, immediately causing Shepard to huff loudly as she pushes herself away from the panel she'd been leaning against.
She pinches the bridge of her hooked nose for a moment, before she nods, lowering her arms and folding them behind her back. She's always found it helps her stand a little taller; a little straighter. 'Patch them through, Joker.'
'Setting up the link now.'
As soon as the words are out his mouth, the FTL comm panel springs to life, revealing three holos of the Council members. The asari councillor, Tevos, is in the middle as she usually is during meetings, a perfect representation of the asari's place in the galaxy—always the voice of reason and compromise.
To the left of her is the salarian councillor, Valern, and on her right, the turian, Sparatus.
Shepard finds her lips curling a little as she meets the turian's gaze, already know exactly how he feels about her being a Spectre. It must be getting to him, having to be there for this meeting, and she just knows that he'll find fault with something that she's said or done—no matter whether it could have been stopped or not.
'We've received your report, Commander. I understand Dr. T'Soni is on the Normandy?'
Shepard nods.
'I assume you're taking the necessary security precautions?' Sparatus asks and it takes all of Shepard's efforts not to roll her eyes at his question. If you met the asari, you'd realise that's not necessary. I think the only thing I have to be worried about is growing too attached.
'Liara's on our side. The geth were trying to kill her,' she says instead, offering a tight-lipped smile to the turian before she turns her gaze back to Tevos. She's just easier to deal with than the other two.
'Benezia would never allow Saren to kill her daughter,' Tevos says, clear shock in her voice but Shepard was there. She knows for a fact that the geth and that krogan had one goal—bring Liara back to Saren, but if she put up too much of a fight, they could kill her.
'Maybe she doesn't know,' Valern adds, which sounds like the most likely outcome, if Shepard is being honest. They still don't know the true effect that Saren seems to have over people, and how he's managed to get the geth and an asari Matriarch working with him. The Benezia that once cared about her daughter may not exist anymore.
'Or maybe we don't know her. We never expected she could become a traitor,' Sparatus declares, tone biting and once again making Shepard want to roll her eyes. Is there anyone this man likes?
'At least the mission was a success,' Valern says, prompting another small nod of thanks from Shepard. She knows she's not going to get much in terms of praise from these people, so she'll take whatever she can get.
She opens her mouth, ready to explain the mission a little further and offer some insight into how she plans to proceed, but then she catches Sparatus' eyes land on her. It's not like he can narrow his eyes, not like how a human can, but his brow plates and down-turned and his mandibles are tight against his face.
'Apart from the utter destruction of a major Prothean ruin,' he states, causing Shepard to press her lips together to stop herself from cursing.
She licks her teeth, folding her arms across her chest, because honestly, what did he expect her to do? Does he think she did it happily, willingly? That she knew when she used the mining laser to get through to the other side of the barrier in order to save Liara, that it would trigger a seismic reaction? She knows that it was the only way, but it's not like she was happy to see the ruins reduced to nothing.
And honestly, if they were such "major" and important ruins, then why the fuck was there only one, young, asari scientist there exploring them? Why not a whole fucking team and protection?
Feeling her frustration grow, Shepard watches as Sparatus mimics her stance, folding his arms over his chest before he asks, 'Was that really necessary, Shepard?'
'Since it was the only way to get to Doctor T'Soni, and also escape the geth that were crawling all over the ruins, I'm going to say: yes. Yes, it was.' She smiles, a tight, tense thing that she knows the turian probably can't read for its insincerity but still brings her joy nonetheless.
'Of course, Commander,' Valern states, shooting a quick glance to Sparatus who looks like he wants to reach through the holo and rip Shepard to shreds. He's more than welcome to try. Sitting on the Council's made him soft. 'The mission must always take priority.'
'Good luck, Commander. Remember: we're all counting on you,' Tevos says, trying to smooth things over even further before she clicks off the holo and the links go dark.
Shepard sighs in relief before she turns her back on them and leaves the Comms Room.