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WB: nathsn and i broke up amd its your faukt
MW: Where are you?
WB: the beach
MW: I’m on my way now. Don’t go anywhere else, please. And don’t go in the water, it’s too cold, it’s too dark out, and you’re drunk.
WB: ok whateber
Will just wanted to be left alone at the beach. The beach was empty, quiet, and lovely and no one was bothering him.
He’d been bothered enough for a lifetime. The beach was all he wanted. Everything else was hurt and confusion and a mess.
He wanted the company of the big, lovely moon smiling down on him in the sky. He wanted the endless ocean in front of him, the water shimmering in the moonlight. He wanted to see some of those goofy little ghost crabs that scampered around at night, scaring the living shit out of him when they passed him too close and brushed by his feet.
Mike loved those crabs. During their years at college, Mike had become the kind of person that knew crab facts off the top of his head. He knew about the moon and the ocean and the tides and fish and those crabs. He knew all about narrative structure and how tone is used in writing to convey greater meaning and shit about Shakespeare. It felt like he knew almost everything sometimes. Mike was too smart. Too smart, but also kind of fucking stupid.
Will sighed.
Fuck Mike Wheeler.
Will could enjoy the creepy little ghost crabs without Mike having anything to do with it. He squinted and looked around for any, but of course they were small and it was dark and they were hard to spot. After looking around a bit, Will gave up and just closed his eyes.
He didn’t want Mike to come to the beach, not really. Mike was a royal pain in his ass. Always there, always hovering, always acting like, like… Will didn’t know. He didn’t really care to figure it out either. He was drunk and it didn’t matter right now.
He shouldn't have texted Mike. If he were sober, he would’ve lied to himself that he didn’t know why he’d done it, but he was drunk. He was drunk and of course he texted Mike to let him know where he was and let him know what was on his mind. Of course he did. He always texted Mike while he was drunk, helpless to resist the urge that always hit him two drinks in. Except when he was with Nathan, but Nathan sure as fuck wasn’t there anymore.
They hadn’t talked all day, Will and Mike. Will’s text wasn’t exactly a good icebreaker, but he supposed it was too late to change that now. And Mike didn’t deserve a gentle icebreaker.
The waves were crashing relentlessly and once he focused on it, the noise shooed away some of the chatter in Will’s head, for which he was grateful. Will wiggled where he was sitting, trying to get a cozier imprint in the sand for his butt, and then he dug his toes further into the sand. It was cool, the sun having set hours ago.
Now that Will thought about it, he himself felt kind of cool from the lowering temperatures, just wearing a light long-sleeved shirt. He crossed his arms over his chest tightly and huffed out a loud groan.
Stupid Nathan. Nathan didn’t know anything. Six months of their lives were just flushed down the drain and for what? Probably nothing. It was complete stupidity.
Will kicked the sand around him, picturing that he was kicking it into Nathan’s face. Into Mike’s face. He was clumsy though, and kicked some sand too high. The wind blew it right back into his face. Of course it fucking did. Will sputtered, shutting his eyes until the breeze passed.
He wished he had a jacket. It was spring and he kept waiting for the temperatures at night to stay steady with the high temperatures of the day, but they didn’t. Will’s teeth started to chatter. He didn’t try to stop them. He was feeling rather pathetic and felt like the chattering teeth matched how he felt. The perfect picture of pathetic.
Will hadn’t become anything great at college. He hadn’t collected facts like Mike had, gathering them all, ready to deploy them in life later on, like an adult. No, Will was still just a kid. Dealing with his first break up at the age of twenty-one, something the rest of his friends went through when they were just young teens. He was light years behind them.
He still drew little pictures, like he had when he was eight years old. He couldn’t picture himself doing anything that sounded more like a serious career. He lived with the first friend he’d made in kindergarten, like every little kid’s daydream. He still had nightmares. He still looked at his best friend like he had ever since figuring out what a crush was.
It was all so fucking childish.
But Will tried to just listen to the waves, to ignore his chattering teeth, and to enjoy the way his feet felt buried in the sand.
Until all of a sudden, Mike was there.
Fucking Mike Wheeler. Will looked up at him, a little dazed. Mike was wearing a jacket and had a second jacket in his hands, like he knew, like he already knew that Will was cold. Will rolled his eyes and pouted at the dark landscape of water in front of him. Couldn’t he have just not?
Sometimes a wave caught the moonlight and it would sparkle. Will felt like the beach really was the best place for him right now. Everything with Nathan fucking ruined everything but at least the beach was pretty. The ocean could swallow his feelings whole. The crashing waves could ebb and flow in front of him until the tide raised enough to gobble up his feet.
Mike said, “Here. Put this on, you’re freezing.” Will ignored him, until Mike pushed, “Will, c’mon, you’re shivering, just put it on.”
And then he took it because he couldn’t say no to Mike, of course he never fucking said no to Mike, and he also took it because he was actually fucking cold. But in a moment of rather smug satisfaction, he just draped it around his shoulders. He didn’t always have to do exactly what Mike said, that didn’t lead him anywhere good. Plus, putting his arms into the holes of the jacket seemed rather complicated right now. He really had drunk too much. Looking at Mike seemed too complicated too, so he just kept staring out at the waves.
The ocean was lovely, dark, and deep. Will snorted. He thought that was from a poem or something. Mike would probably know, but Will certainly wasn’t going to ask him. Will didn’t need to fucking know. Will didn’t need Mike for everything.
The jacket smelled like Mike. They lived together, and Mike had full access to Will’s jackets in the hallway closet, but no. Mike had grabbed one of his own jackets to give to Will. He was surrounded by Mike’s scent. It was shit like this that pissed him off.
Mike asked, “Are you ready to go home?”
Will looked over at him and then looked away again. “No.” Before Mike could reply, he added, “I wasn’t going to go swimming, by the way. You didn’t need to text me that, I’m not an idiot. I’m not a stupid kid.”
Mike let out a great sigh and sat next to Will in the sand. He said, “I don’t think you’re an idiot, Will. I’m sorry it came off that way.”
Will scowled at the waves. He added petulantly. “I didn’t come to swim, I came because I wanted to be alone.”
There were a few beats of silence and Will hoped his comment had landed. Then a few more seconds passed, and Will almost felt bad for being a brat, but before he could feel too guilty, Mike broke the silence.
“Will.” Mike paused, waiting for a response. Will thought about waiting him out but he was drunk and didn’t really care enough so he just swung his head over to look at Mike.
“What?”
“What happened with Nathan?”
Will looked away quickly and mumbled, “Nothing. Nothing with Nathan. Nothing Nathan, Nathan nothing. Mike, it rhymes.”
Mike snorted and said, “No, it doesn’t. C’mon, what happened?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“You texted me about it. Seems like you wouldn’t have texted me about it if you didn’t want to talk with me.”
“Shut up, Mike, you don’t know anything about me.”
Mike sighed. Will looked over again and he had a little smile on his face.
“Oh, wow. You think this is funny? You think that it’s funny that Nathan and I broke up?”
The smile dropped off Mike’s face. Will scoffed.
“You’re, you’re, you’re…” Will started to get up. He let go of the jacket that had been draped on his shoulders, and let it fall in the sand. Will struggled to stand, feeling the alcohol in his system throw him a little off balance once he started moving more. He had to pull his feet from where he’d dug them into the sand. “You’re being kind of mean, Mike.”
“No, Will, I was just smiling about you, not about… about, like, the situation.”
“Well, why were you smiling about me? You shouldn’t be.” Will finally got to his feet, swaying just a little bit.
Mike, still sitting, looked up at him. “Why not? Why can’t I smile about you if I want to?”
Will grimaced at him. Mike didn’t seem to be making any move to get up. He just sat in the sand, arms behind himself braced. His arms were too long. His legs, sprawled in the sand, were too long. Will let his eyes linger on Mike’s torso, which was also too long. Mike’s face was barely lit in the glow from the moon. His cheekbones caught the light, sharp and dangerous, and his eyes were like dark pits that were too easy to get trapped in.
Nathan had been nice. He’d been really sweet, really. They’d been dating for six months. He’d had light brown hair, falling just over his ears. They met in Will’s required math class. Nathan saw Will was sketching in his notes and passed him a stick figure drawing. They’d passed notes for a few weeks until Nathan passed him his phone number. It all fell into place easily from there.
Nathan was great. He was great. He was a good kisser, better than the few strangers Will had previously kissed at gay clubs. He was open with his feelings. He laughed at Will’s jokes and, and, well, he made Will laugh sometimes too.
Will let out a groan. He wasn’t with Nathan anymore. They’d broken up.
Will huffed, “You, you just can’t. I just had a boyfriend. Don’t smile about me anymore.”
He turned, maybe to walk closer towards the shore, maybe just to get away from Mike, but then Mike spoke up.
“You said that it was my fault you and Nathan broke up. What did you mean?”
Will’s mind started racing and then he said, his voice muddled and laced with bullshit, “I never said that. Shut up.”
Mike said, “No, you texted that to me. Here, I’ll show you.” He got his phone out and started pulling up his texts.
Will didn’t need visual evidence and he didn’t need to talk to Mike about this. So he started walking away.
He heard Mike call out behind him, “Will!” And so Will started walking quicker.
Stumbling slightly, he glanced behind himself, and saw that Mike had gotten up to follow him. He called, “Will, come on, we have to talk about this!”
Will ran.
It wasn’t graceful and the sand kept tripping him up, but he didn’t want to talk about any of this. So he ran from it.
He ran towards the moon, with its beautiful face shining above, towards the pier jutting out into the water a mile away. He ran towards some peace and fucking quiet. He ran towards somewhere far away from all of this, away from Mike.
His lungs burned, his head felt fuzzy, his legs were a bit wobbly underneath him, and he gasped for breath.
Unfortunately, he was also drunk and not much of a runner and had much shorter legs than Mike did, so Mike caught up to him quickly. Mike whirled in front of him to stop him from running,
He was panting too, but he demanded, “What happened? Why was it my fault that you two broke up? I know Nathan didn’t like me but I didn’t think that was a big enough issue for him to break up with you over. Was it because I hang around too much or because we spend so much time together? Was it… was it from, I mean, was it because of last night? Because I didn’t mean to mess things up for you, I know you really liked him, and I-”
“Mike, shut up.”
Will was breathing hard, anger pounding in his ears. He glanced up to look Mike in the face. He looked truly upset. His mouth was hanging open and he stared at Will with guilt splashed all over his face. He knew he’d fucked it all up for Will somehow. Of course he knew.
“Will, listen, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Can I help somehow? I can talk to Nathan for you, see if he’ll take you back. I can back off a bit, I can be nicer to him. I’m sorry, okay? I just want you to be happy and I’m sorry I ruined this.”
Will huffed and said, “He didn’t… Just, let it go, okay?”
But Mike kept going and going, his words coming faster and higher and more panicked, and they all stumbled over themselves in Will’s head, soft and slippery. He shouldn’t have had so much to drink. He really shouldn’t have texted Mike.
“No, you’re hurt and sad and I can’t stand thinking that I caused that. What’d he say, what happened? I can, I can, hang on,” and Mike turned back to his phone. “I can, I can text him or call him and apologize for what I did, I can make it right. I can do this. I, I, I want to do this for you, I, no, let me call him.”
And Will couldn’t have that, not at all, so the words fell from his mouth. “Mike, stop! I broke up with him, he didn’t, he didn’t dump me, okay? It was me. I did it.”
Mike gaped at him. “Wh- Seriously? Why? Was it… uhh, was it…”
Will sighed, feeling very tired, and cut off Mike. “It doesn’t matter, it just… it’s done now, so let’s just let it go. It’s over.”
Mike grimaced at him and said, “No, Will, it’s not over, you can’t just tell me that it was my fault that you two broke up, that you broke up with Nathan, and not tell me why. Just, just, just tell me. You can tell me, we should talk about this.”
Will threw his head back and groaned. He really just wanted to be alone. This was too humiliating. But then Mike was stepping closer, a little too close, and his hair kept whipping in the wind that was coming off the waves. Will wanted to tuck it behind his ear for him. Mike kept raking it back with his fingers but Will would’ve done it gently for him.
Will tried to screw his head on straight.
“Mike, I don’t… I don’t think we need to.”
Mike was watching him with his dark eyes, sharp but careful. He looked nervous. Will wanted to reassure him somehow that it was okay, but it wasn’t. Everything had gotten all messed up.
“Yes, we do. I think we need to talk about it. I can’t just let this go, not after last night.”
Mike was looking at him pleadingly, and he reached out to grab the sleeve of Will’s shirt by his hand when Will looked away. It was all too much, too close, too intense. Will just wanted to burst into silly, drunk laughter to cut the tension and stumble home a couple blocks away, chug some water, and fall into bed.
But Mike was haloed with the moonlight and he was looking at Will like he was the most important thing in the world, or like this conversation was the most important thing in the world. Mike’s chest was rising and falling hard and Will looked down to see Mike still clinging to his sleeve.
Will felt slightly nauseous as he summoned his courage to say it. Maybe he was nauseous from the drinking though. He probably would’ve lied or come up with better reasoning if he was sober, but he wasn’t, he was drunk and tired and emotionally drained.
He admitted, “You… you know what happened last night. It was because of that.”
The words were so quiet that they nearly blew away in the breeze coming off the ocean, but Mike caught them first, of course he did.
Last night, Nathan had come over for dinner. The three of them had a couple pizzas delivered and pigged out a bit. Mike managed to eat the most slices out of the three of them. After dinner, Mike had disappeared back to his bedroom as he often did when Will and Nathan spent their evening out in the living room. He always had so much homework, but Will supposed that’s what he got for double majoring. After a few hours, Nathan left because he had plans to go out with some friends, and Will didn’t feel like joining in. Mike had come back out to the living room right after Nathan left, and they watched TV together on the couch until Mike fell asleep. Will tucked Mike in with a sofa throw blanket and then went to bed himself.
Mike was still holding on Will’s shirt sleeve, and Will could feel his own heartbeat in his ears, his throat, his chest, his stomach. His hands were shaking and his thoughts were swimming, swimming as if in the waves out there, lost and adrift.
They were standing so close that Will could feel Mike’s breathing, and he watched as Mike’s chest heaved up and down. Will could barely look at him, even though he was right there.
Mike said, softly and a little miserably, “You can… Hey, you can look at me. You can say it, Will.”
Will thought back to what exactly happened. Will had woken up around 2:30 am in a sweat, heart racing out of his chest, fear coursing through his veins. It had been another nightmare, and Will was badly shaken. Nathan stayed overnight with him sometimes, and when he did, Will would cuddle with Nathan or wake him up after a nightmare. Nathan would distract him, talk with him, kiss the memory of the dream away. But Nathan wasn’t there.
When he woke up from a nightmare alone, Will tried to shake it off. He’d listen to some quiet music, pick up a book, get some water. Sometimes he went to Mike. The night before, he’d gone to Mike.
He padded out of his bedroom and on his way to Mike’s bedroom, he saw that Mike was actually still on the couch, feet hanging over the edge. Will walked over.
Mike’s face was smushed against a pillow, a quiet snooze coming from his open mouth. Will resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair, and instead just gave him a poke on his shoulder.
Mike woke up groggily, still very much so half asleep. He slurred sleepily, “Will?”
Will said, “Mike, you should get to bed, your back is going to get all fucked from sleeping on the couch. Come on.”
Mike, not making a move to get up, murmured, “You okay, Will?”
Will was surprised, even after all this time, when Mike knew exactly when something was bothering him, even when Mike was half asleep.
Will had whispered back, “I had a nightmare. But I’m okay. Let’s just get you to bed, okay?”
Mike, eyes closed and nestling back into his pillow, whispered, “I wish I could take all your bad dreams away, Will. I wish I could…”
He trailed off and Will poked him again. Mike groaned, and Will gave his arm a tiny tug.
“Mike, get your ass up, I cannot carry you to bed.”
Mike mumbled, “I wish you would.”
And Will froze, thought it over, decided he was overreacting because of course Mike hadn’t meant it like that (no matter how quickly Will’s heart raced at the sound of those words), and moved on.
“I’m not strong enough, so get your lazy ass up.”
Mike peeked his eyes open. “Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”
Will shook his head. It usually didn’t help to linger on them. He just appreciated having a distraction. Someone to chat with, or even just hauling Mike to bed. A cuddle or a kiss would be better, but Nathan wasn’t there.
Mike asked through a yawn, “If you don’t want to talk about it, is there anything I can do to help?”
Will stared at him and chewed up his bottom lip. A few seconds passed, and Will felt like the quiet had grown heavy, too heavy, so he quickly shook his head and gave Mike’s arm a tug again.
“No, let’s just get you to bed, okay?”
Mike let out a distressed whine, and finally sat up. Will offered his arm, and Mike used it to haul himself up. Will guided Mike back to his bedroom as Mike shuffled his feet down the hall, the sofa throw blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape. He let out a few sleepy whimpers along the way, and Will smiled down at his feet. He always got a little foolish and adoring when Mike was like this.
Once at Mike’s bedroom doorway, Mike turned to him and yawned, his eyelids still heavy with sleep. His voice was still rough from sleep as he said, simply and softly, “I wish I could kiss it all better for you, Will.”
Will’s stomach erupted into butterflies, into buzzing bees, into a deep, hard thump thump thump from the pounding of his heart.
Mike was leaning into his space all of a sudden, while Will was still racing to understand what was happening. He had a boyfriend, he’d just had dinner with Nathan.
But Mike was leaning in closer, Mike, and he asked, so easily and earnestly, “Can I kiss you, Will? I just want to make it all better, help you forget your nightmare. I want to help, Will, want to make sure you’re okay.”
Will’s breaths were coming out harsh and heavy, and before he even thought it through, he’d nodded his head, quickly and determinedly. The guilt was there, and then it was gone. He looked back at Mike, who kept getting closer, and, and, and…
Will said to Mike on the beach, “You kissed me. That’s what happened. You kissed me and then I broke up with Nathan.”
The night before, Mike had pressed his lips to Will’s, and glued himself to Will. They were pressed together from head to toe, and everything was warm. The breaths they panted out between kisses were hot, and the way Mike kept pushing in closer and closer was hot.
Mike bunched up Will’s shirt in his fists to pull him closer, and Will cradled Mike’s face in his hands before sinking them into his hair. Mike slipped his tongue into Will’s mouth and Will bit it lightly and Mike let out a groan, and then everything was too much, far too much. Will was burning with it all, was on fire with Mike, Mike, Mike.
He broke away.
Mike looked scrambled and confused, although certainly more awake than he’d been just a minute earlier. He blinked blearily, like he wasn’t sure how they’d both sunk into it all so quickly, like it was all just a dream.
He said, “Oh.”
That’s all he said.
Will didn’t know what to make of that, and he’d remembered just then about Nathan, that he had a boyfriend who wasn’t there, that Nathan is who he’d usually be kissing to make the nightmares go away, because Mike had never seemed like an option to kiss instead. But against all of his assumptions, Mike had gone and kissed him, which threw everything out of balance and sense.
Will slipped away from where Mike’s body had still been so, so close to his, pressed oh so sweetly. He turned away, calling a strangled sounding, “Goodnight,” over his shoulder. He didn’t hear a response, and didn’t look back to see if Mike tried to follow. Will went to his bedroom and closed the door behind him, breathing hard.
He touched his lips and recalled how much his blood had been racing and how nothing else existed but Mike’s little gasps for breath when they broke away and the way his lips had felt moving against Will’s, and Will knew it didn’t feel like that with Nathan. It had never been a competition between Nathan and Mike, it was just a compromise for Will to be halfway happy with someone if he couldn’t be with Mike, because of course Mike wouldn’t want him, but now, maybe, he did. Maybe. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
He barely slept and avoided Mike once the sun rose, managing to sneak out without seeing him. They usually had breakfast together and Will missed even that, despite the guilt and confusion roiling around inside of him.
He texted Nathan that they needed to talk later. They made plans to meet up at their favorite pub. Will broke up with him, but didn’t explain why. Nathan probably guessed enough of it anyway. He had always hated Mike, and Will hadn’t ever been able to muster up enough lies to convince Nathan that he didn’t have any reason to feel jealous.
Nathan left, pissed and sad, and Will ordered drink after drink, before stumbling across the street to the beach.
Mike let go of Will’s sleeve and finally said, his voice small and nearly drowned out by the crashing waves, “I didn’t… I mean, I did, I know I did, but that, that wasn’t your fault, that was just me. I don’t know, I was half asleep. I knew you had a boyfriend, and I shouldn’t have… like that.”
He gnawed on his bottom lip and Will wanted him to stop so he could slot it between his own lips, or he wanted to stumble down the beach for some alone time again. He didn’t want to figure out if Mike had only kissed him because he’d been delirious from having been woken up mid-REM cycle or if Will had been too needy in wanting a distraction from his nightmare. Or if… if Mike had really wanted to.
He’d broken up with Nathan, half from guilt and knowing that Nathan didn’t deserve to be treated like that, and half from a garbled, decade-old hope that had rotted away his heart into flowers and butterflies. That want and longing was so deep and consuming that it felt like nudging it in either direction, rejection or reciprocation, would crack him clear in two.
Will’s thoughts were fuzzy and his heart was clanging around loudly in his chest, and he said, “I broke up with Nathan because you kissed me. That’s what happened. It’s because we kissed. You asked if you could, and I said yes even though I had a boyfriend. Nathan was nice and sweet, and he’s angry with me now, and that was my first break up. And I…”
Will gulped for air, and wished he’d had a shot or two of something, anything really, to down then and there, to give him some courage. He just had himself and the lovely ocean air though, and Mike watching him, with eyes wide and dark, and hair, lovely and curly, and his lips, red and parted.
Will finished, “I just want to know why you kissed me. And if you want to kiss me again.”
Mike swallowed hard, and looked away and then back again. “You… you won’t be mad? If I do? I didn’t mean to mess things up with Nathan, I swear. But I, I never stop thinking about kissing you. Since before you were with him, Will, I swear, I was just too… too scared to do something about it back then. Please don’t be mad, I was half asleep last night and I don’t know what I was thinking, I just wanted to help, I know how bad your nightmares get, and I, I… I never stop thinking about kissing you.”
Mike looked terrified out of his mind, eyes wide and hands gripping onto the bottom of his shirt just for something to hold onto. Will stared at him in disbelief.
He could’ve, and usually would’ve, stared a lot longer, not sure what to do, but it was probably past midnight on an empty beach, and the moon made Mike look so pretty, and Mike had said he wanted to kiss Will. That’s all Will had wanted to hear for years.
So once the thought occurred to Will to go kiss Mike, he didn’t hesitate. He stepped closer, grabbed the collar of Mike’s shirt, and pulled him down for a kiss.
Mike let out a big breath of surprise, but as Will pushed in close and crashed his lips against Mike’s, he caught up and wrapped his arms around Will, drawing him closer. Mike kissed him hard and fast and Will was on fire again. Will bit down softly on the lip Mike had been gnawing on just a minute ago from his nerves, and when Mike let out a whine this time, Will didn’t pull back. He pushed forward, and they stumbled in the sand, both laughing as they regained their balance.
It seemed to have jostled Mike out of the kiss though. He pressed his lips, soft and sweet, against Will’s once, twice, three times more, before pulling away.
“You’re…” Mike let out a laugh and raked his hair away from his face. “You’re drunk, we should slow down. I just…” And his eyes, wide, darted all over Will’s face, and then he reached out and grabbed Will’s hand, interlocking their fingers.
Will was beaming, and swung their arms back and forth. Mike wanted to hold his hand. Mike wanted to hold his hand! Will couldn’t hold his grin back. The night was lovely and the beach was beautiful and Mike was beloved.
Will blurted out, “I’m not mad at you for wanting to kiss me. You can kiss me anytime now.”
Mike ducked his head to lean his forehead on Will’s and he whispered, “Are you sure we’re okay? I’m sorry that tonight was shitty with you talking to Nathan, I… I wasn’t thinking last night. I know you really liked him. You can be mad at me.”
With Mike so close, just inches away, Will felt the push to get closer but he needed to say it. “I’ve liked you forever, Mike. For ages. You kissed me but I let you, and that was on me, okay? I’m not mad, at least not at you. I’m kind of mad at me. But I also just… I just want to kiss you again.”
Mike nestled in closer and suddenly his lips were against Will’s cheek, gentle and lingering and Will let out a contented hum. The happiness was settling in, like the moon peeking out in the night sky on a cloudy night, and along with the happiness came a wave of sleepiness. He nuzzled in closer and whispered, “Can we go home, Mike?”
Mike murmured back, “Yeah, I’m gonna take you home, Will. You’re going to drink a lot of water once we get back, okay? Did you have any water when you were drinking earlier?”
Will said happily, “Nope. Just, umm. Some Mai Tai’s. A White Russian. And…”
Mike shot him a look, eyebrows high on his forehead.
Will said with a flair, “And a Moscow mule.”
Mike groaned, “Oh my god, Will.”
“Oh, I also got a mojito! I almost forgot about that one.”
Holding Will’s hand, Mike chortled, “Holy shit.”
They walked back down the beach to pick up Mike’s jacket that they’d left in the sand. Mike helped him put it on as Will helplessly giggled, and then they headed towards the stairs leading up to the road. They went slow, neither in a rush to hike up the sand dunes. Mike lifted up their holding hands and kissed the back of Will’s. He said, voice full of laughter, “You’re going to be so hungover tomorrow, Will.”
Will huffed out a laugh, and knew that, yeah, he probably was.
When they were halfway up the beach, Will felt a tickle near his foot, and he shrieked, dancing away from where he’d been walking. “Crab, crab!”
Mike cackled and followed him as Will ran up the beach, away from any and all crustaceous threats.
Once they slipped their shoes back on, Mike slung his arm over Will’s shoulders and Will basked in the comfort of being tucked in. Mike said, “You know, ghost crabs, the kind you probably just felt, they can run up to ten miles per hour.”
Will pulled back and gaped at him. “That can’t be true.”
Mike exclaimed, “It is! I swear, they can. I read it in one of my textbooks.” He nuzzled his head in closer again and whispered against Will’s ear ominously, “They can outrun you, Will Byers.”
Will laughed loudly and it echoed in the quiet road. He pulled away from Mike again and was about to tell him to shut up, but Mike was grinning at him so goofily, so instead, Will snuck in another kiss. It was quick and sweet, too fast for Mike to protest because he was drunk. He just wanted to do it again because he could. He could do it now, after years of holding back. So he pushed in close and got the taste of Mike on his lips, and then pulled back quickly enough to hear Mike’s breath catch. Will tucked himself back under Mike’s arm, satisfied.
The moon was watching over them as they walked, luminous and dazzling above their heads. The endless crash of the waves against the shore faded as they walked the couple blocks back home, but the ocean air was still humid and salty on their skin. Will’s feet were sandy in his shoes, and the road wasn’t quite as wobbly as it had seemed on his way to the beach earlier. It was just a little hazy, a little extra beautiful.
Everything felt a little extra beautiful being tucked under Mike’s arm, the feel of his lips still ghosting on Will’s.
Will asked, “Can you tell me more about ghost crabs?”
Mike said, “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll tell you all about ghost crabs. I’ll tell you everything I know about them. Hey, maybe you can paint a ghost crab for that assignment you have coming up, you know, the wildlife painting assignment you mentioned yesterday.”
Will bit his lip and said, “Yeah, maybe.” There was quiet then, until Will impulsively asked, “You don’t think it’s dumb that I’m sticking with art for my major, do you? Do you think it’s just a big waste of time, or, or childish?” He spit the words out and then inhaled quickly, very nervous all of a sudden. He didn’t express his anxieties about this often, less and less as Mike grew to seem more and more mature than Will himself felt.
But Mike turned to him and said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and nose wrinkled in disbelief, “Will, oh my god, no. It’s not a waste of time and it’s definitely not childish. Your art is so…” He struggled to find the words, and Will watched him nervously.
“It means everything, Will. You get better every year, and I love seeing what you come up with and how much you’re learning at school, and how confident you’ve grown with trying out new styles and subjects for your art. It’s you, your art is you, and you are not dumb or a waste of time or childish, so neither is your art. I can’t wait to see where you go with it. Honestly, I’ve always kind of seen you as a rock, you with your art. Like you’ve always known what you want. I’m kind of jealous of that. I’m always stuck between a few things, and you, you just know. You know what you want, and you’re good at it. And that’s amazing.”
Will teared up at Mike’s words, overly emotional from drinking and the many events of the evening, and once Mike noticed, he drew him in for a soft hug. He whispered, “I got you, Will, you’re okay. You’re doing amazing at college, and I love your art.” Then he pulled away and used his thumb to wipe away the wetness on Will’s cheeks.
“You should let me know next time you’re feeling that way so I can talk you out of it right away, alright?”
Will laughed, just a little tearily, and agreed. “I will, I’ll tell you. Thanks, Mike. And you don’t have to be jealous, you know. You have options, and that’s really cool.”
Mike snorted. “Yeah, maybe. If you look at it that way.” Will shot him a stern look, as stern as he could appear with still wet eyes and a high blood alcohol concentration. Mike laughed, put his hands up in defeat, and said, “Fine, fine, I have options, and that’s cool. You happy?”
Will nodded, feeling pleased.
They kept walking, passing under streetlights, which almost looked as pretty as the moon did with Mike clinging to him, and he sniffled a few times. He’d never really felt comfortable crying in front of Nathan. Then again, he’d never been in love with Nathan. He’d loved Mike for a long time, had been in love with him forever.
It was just one of those things, that was maybe childish, or maybe it was just how things had gone: He still liked to draw, he was an artist. He still had nightmares because that’s what fucked up shit from childhood did to you. He still lived with his best friend from kindergarten and Will felt very lucky about that. He’d always looked at Mike like a boy figuring out what a crush is, except the last several years, he’d looked at him more like he was discovering what being in love felt like. He’d just had his first breakup, and he felt bad about how it had all happened, and he decided he would do better this time. He sneaked a peek at Mike and thought that maybe he wouldn’t ever go through a second break up. Not now that he was with Mike.
Will sighed happily and asked, “Do you want to stay in my room tonight? In case I have a nightmare? And so you can keep telling me about ghost crabs?”
Mike looked thrilled, and said, “Sure, I can do that. I’ll make sure you drink a lot of water, and tell you about ghost crabs until you fall asleep, and I’ll be right there to kiss any nightmares away.”
“Okay,” Will said softly, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. “That sounds like a nice night to me.”