Chapter Text
*Episode opens with a downward view of the lair while suspenseful music plays. Scans over to the living area, where a movie is playing on a giant screen. Next we see Splinter seated in his easy chair, smiling as he watches a movie. Cut to the movie*
BIG ACTOR: Where's our free grub, noodle man?
LOU JITSU: Okay, ha. How ‘bout some . . . hot soup? *Actors on screen yell as they are tossed, Both yell as they fall face first into hot noodle soup*
LOU JITSU:Too spicy for you? *laughs* Everyone’s a critic. Hm.
Donnie: *sighs* Man, ‘Teriyaki Shakedown’ always gets me so *inhales* jazzed…!
Leo: You said it big bro!
Donnie: Sigh, I must go and get us more soup.
*Donnie gets up and walks out*
Mikey: It’s all bout lou Jitsu baby!
*Remote goes flying through the air and hits Mikey in the face, knocking him down*
SPLINTER: Then why do you insult the master with your poor technique? *Leaps off chair, spins in the air, and smashes into both of his youngest sons* Hot soup! *Stands up as turtles groan* Do not worry. Someday you will be great ninjas with a little practice . . . is something I would say if I were a liar.
MIKEY: That’s nice of you to say, Pop, but I’m tired of practicing.
SPLINTER: *laughs* Nice try. *Walks away*
*then donnie walks back in only for Mikey to appear and grab him causing donnie to drop it*
Donnie: *scolds* Michael!
MIKEY: *Facing Donnie* We got the squillz, we got the tight color-coordinated team look! Let’s do it! Let’s go out! Let’s BE HEROES!
DONNIE: Hmmm… well I suppose *pulls up his tablet from the table* I just feel like, you know, we need a case to get the juices flowing a little bit. You know, let’s see what the internet has to say about it, shall we . . .
*Leo hops up on the easy chair and then flops over the back of it*
MIKEY: Yo, Leo, we’re gonna be heroes!
LEO: *Slithers down so he’s on his back on the chair seat* Okay, what’s the plan? Solve the city’s rat problem?
SPLINTER: *Tail flashes out and smacks Leo in the face, knocking him off the chair* Hey now!
Leo: OW! *holds his face*
Splinter: I am standing right here-
Donnie: *holds his tech bo out to splinter threateningly* DON’T touch him again or I will BREAK your precious little tv.
Splinter: *Gasps in horror* you wouldn’t!
Donnie: Try me.
*splinter hmphs and walks out and Donnie lowers his bo before glancing at leo*
Donnie: Nardo you alright?
Leo: I’m fine. Ow…I forgot how hard dad can hit. It’s been a while. Even harder than your hits.
Donnie: Eyeroll, For the record, my “hits” are mostly just a pop to the back of your head to get your attention. I hardly ever raise my hand to you two unless I feel it’s absolutely necessary.
Donnie: *thinking* and splinter has no right to punish either of you since he doesn’t bother with anything else.
Leo: Whatever you say twinsie.
DONNIE: *Holding his tablet so the screen is visible* Okay, check this out. The Spine Breaking Bandit!
LEO: *Slides in between Mikey and Don* Don, I don’t want my spine Breakin. What else did you got?
DONNIE: 1. Use grammar, I’ve taught you better than “spine breakin”. It is “Spine Broken” or if you are referring to present tense then it’s “Spine Breaking”. Those weekly assignments I give you WILL be upped to twice a week if you don’t use what I taught you.
Leo: *groans* alright alright.
Donnie: *Sweeps finger across tablet to bring up another screen* anyway, here’s something. The Long Island Mangler!
LEO: *Sets his hands on the screen* Okay, Donnie. I appreciate you giving your best effort, you’re an awesome Leader and an even better older twin, but maybe we should save mangling and spine breaking for, I don’t know, our second day?
*Brothers just stare at him for a second*
DONNIE: *Changes screen again* Mm, well, this one’s kind of mellowed down. Someone stole paper from a delivery truck.
LEO: *Snatches the tablet out of Don’s hands and strikes a pose* Not on my watch! That’s exactly the kind of junior level mischief we can put an end to!
Donnie: Hm, I suppose it would be okay practice. Although I don’t see why these guys would waste the effort to steal paper when it’s literally everywhere.
Leo: who cares?! They’re still criminals Don! And as heroes we can take them out! You think the road to hero town is paved with real crime? No! It’s paved with the tears of the poor paper man. And who helps that guy? I’ll tell you who; we are who.
Mikey:Yes!
Donnie: *narrows his eyes at the grammar sternly* Leo…
Leo: *groans* fine. We are “Whom”.
Donnie: Better.
*scene changes to Turtles running across the city's rooftops as music plays. They finally stop on one roof to look down. Don using his goggles*
MIKEY: Ahh stealing paper, such sad criminals.
Leo: what’s so sad about that?
Mikey: Their dreamers! You look at a blank sheet and see nothing. They see possibilities . . .
DONNIE: There’s only one store they haven’t hit yet, and it is right over there . . . oh, convenient.
*All leap down. Street view of two thieves stealing paper, both with flames burning above their heads. In the background the turtles are bracing themselves suspended above the street between two buildings*
Leo: *looking around and yelps when he tripped*
*Cat shrieks. Leo and Don continue on after their youngest brother*
Mikey: Whoo let’s do this!
Donnie: Mikey we need a pla-
*Music plays as Leo and Mikey chase the Foot Lieutenant. Mikey throws his Kusari-fundo at the Foot Brute, but it wraps around a fire plug as the Brute rounds a corner*
MIKEY: *Goes flying around, still caught on the fire plug* Whoa!
*Leo Falls right onto Don. All groan as they lay in a pile*
MIKEY: Where are they?
DONNIE: *Bottom of pile* That is you, right?
*then they looked up as the Van disappears*
DONNIE:…. Did we seriously just get schooled by paper thieves? Irritated Groan….
Donnie: *holding his head in his hands shamefully thinking* what kind of leader fails THIS badly? We were like rag dolls out here and they didn’t even hit us… I knew I should have used my tech, but would that have helped??? What if it’s not good enough-
MIKEY:Man, this seemed like a really cool idea until we didn’t succeed at it.
LEO: *Stands up with sword on shoulder.* Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where’d my brothers go? *Points at Mikey with the pommel of his sword* Mikey, where’s your . . . legendary optimism? [Mikey groans. And leo Walks over to Don* And Donnie, where’s your . . . your thing, your – emotionless passion?! Your leader heart?! Your big brother science guy-Ness?!
DONNIE: *Head down, not even bothering to correct Leo’s grammar, he speaks very quietly* Here.
LEO: We can still catch these lame old paper crooks and be heroes!
DONNIE: Yeah, that’s gonna be hard. This was the last paper store in town.
LEO: Hmm . . . Or was it?
DONNIE: *raises an eyebrow* Yeah, I . . . I literally just said that.
*Dramatic music plays as an image of all three turtles carrying various supplies strike a pose. The turtles start building something. Leo cuts off slices of meat. Mikey sticks an ‘on sale’ sign on a pile of salami and on an advertisement board. Leo erects a large cardboard box that’s been cut to fit an alley entrance. A sign on it reads ‘Leo’s Paper Hut’. Leo whoops in victory*
MIKEY: *sighs* It’s beautiful.
*Donnie pops part way out of the door and slides the advertisement board into place on the sidewalk. Reenters fake store*
DONNIE: Do you really think that this is going to hook the thieves? The only paper we have is made from salami which is round. Paper is not round little brother.
LEO: Yes, it’ll work!
APRIL: *Approaches the fake store*
Phew. Okay. You can do this. *Enters store* Hi, I’m here for the job interview . . . aw. *Sees the turtles. Mikey pops up from behind the cash register wearing a fake nose and waves at her* Man, I thought it was weird to have a job interview at midnight…
Donnie: *thinking* April our surrogate sister I am offended for you to have fallen for such a thing….
MIKEY: *Looking at a clipboard* Ah, Miss . . . O’Neil. *Sound of car approaching and then car lights flashing across them* Ah, customers! *Ducks behind counter*
*Sound of brakes screeching. Headlights shine into the store*
MIKEY: *Pops out from under the counter and startles April* April, you’re hired! *Hands her a card* Just follow the sales script and remember the customer is always right unless they’re a psychotic paper thief.
APRIL: Ah, okay.
MIKEY: *Dives under a large box marked ‘security’ with his brothers* We’ll be in the back.
APRIL: Welcome to Leo’s Paper Hut. Can I interest you in our . . . ah! *muffled*
*A large hand closes over her face*
MIKEY: *Inside the cardboard box with his brothers* What is ‘mm-mm-mm’? *Looks at a card in his hand* She’s supposed to say . . . paper!
Donnie: Mikey obviously something has happened! Let us out!
*they break through the box and Looked up to see April tied up and suspended from the ceiling*
MIKEY: April! The salami paper! It’s gone!
*Sound of engine starting. Van backs up, turns around and drives off with the tires screeching*
LEO: No way!
*He grunts and kicks the advertising board. Cardboard exterior falls down*
APRIL: Mm! Mm! *Binding comes undone and she drops to the ground* Ow.
LEO This was supposed to be easy. How do we keep losing these clowns?!
DONNIE: Sigh, *gently pats his shoulder* Leo, little brother, do you really think I would have let you make salami paper without putting a tracker in it? I’m the oldest here and someone has to keep you lot together.
*Presses a button on his gauntlet*
*Music plays. Interior of the van shows stacks of ‘paper’. Inside one stack Don’s beeper flashes and beeps, unheard by the occupants as the van continues on down the street. At a shipyard, the turtles lay in wait. Leo is staring at something through binoculars*
LEO: Okay guys, this is our moment. They may have given us the slip before . . .
MIKEY: *Jumps up* Twice before!
LEO: Thank you, Mikey. Twice before, but now we’ve got them cornered and there’s nothing that can stop us.
*Watches paper being loaded into a ship via conveyor belt. Interior of the ship. Hatch door wheel begins spinning. Leo cartwheels inside, Music plays as the turtles stare down through an open hatch into the hull of the ship. Below them, the two Foot stand amongst piles and piles of stolen paper. Leo leaps into the hull first*
LEO: Okay, twerp and . . . *Brothers jump down. Foot Lieutenant turns and then Foot Brute turns* surprisingly big man. It’s three against two, so what say we just call it a day, right?
MIKEY: Whoa! They’ve got footprints on their faces!
DONNIE: And…flaming heads. *raises an eyebrow* Feels like a real hazard for a paper thief.
FOOT BRUTE:You! I’m gonna grind your bones with my fists.
FOOT LIEUTENANT: Ooh, that’s inspired. We’re both gonna grind your bones!
Donnie; ….as much as I’d like to point out how impossible that would be to do with just your fists I must ask this question…WHY steal paper? 1 you can literally get that anywhere, 2 what’s It for? And 3, Why so much?
*Music plays as Foot Lieutenant grabs a sheet of paper and quickly begins folding it. Finishes by holding up a tiny paper ninja*
MIKEY: Yay, arts and crafts!
Donnie: *narrows his eyes. Something wasn’t right…*
*Foot Lieutenant throws paper ninja at them. It transforms in midair, becoming Pretty large! About 9-10 feet!*
ALL: Whoa!
*Ninja rushes at them. Younger turtles dive out of the way, leaving Donnie*
DONNIE: *quickly dodged a hit* Uh, hey, maybe we should fight now and register our amazement later?
*Leo rushes the ninja. Swipes at it with his sword and it explodes into confetti*
LEO: What?
*One landed on them. They all start groaning and spitting and swinging their arms as the particles rain down on them*
DONNIE: *Shrieks* Nasty!
LEO: It’s all in my mouth!
MIKEY: Ah!
LEO: *all stop* Wait a minute, wait a minute! It’s just confetti!
DONNIE: *surprised* Paper viscera.
*Back to Foot Lieutenant, who is forming more paper ninjas. Throws a handful at the turtles, all poof in midair to become full sized. Mikey standing on a balcony swings his weapon and destroys a ninja. A ninja grabs the cord and yanks Mikey towards it*
MIKEY: Whoa! *Mikey hits the ground with a groan* Oh, oh, oh!
Donnie: Leo cover mikey! I got this!
*Two foot come at him and he swings the Kusari-fundo upwards. It wraps around a pipe and lifts him. He spins around and shreds the ninjas, then shoots an okay symbol with his hand. Leo is on the balcony, next to mikey was going backwards as he slices the ninjas coming at him. Leo jumps down on a stack of papers*
LEO: We’re getting nowhere fighting these guys. We gotta take out the source!
Donnie: Don’t you dare leave that spot! We don’t know how dangerous these guys are!-
*Leo leaps towards the Foot Brute, who also has a sword. Their swords clash and then they’re swinging at each other. Leo slides back*
LEO: Okay. You think you’re pretty good, huh?
BRUTE: Indeed.
*Leo kicks at his face. Foot Brute grabs his ankle, shoves it down, and then kicks Leo across the room. Leo lands upside down*
LEO: You are good.
*Paper begins whirling in a cyclone around the two Foot*
*Paper forms into a huge ninja that growls*
Leo and Mikey:Uh . . .
*Ninja reaches down and scoops up Leo, who strains but can’t get out of his grip*
Donnie: *eyes widen* LEO!
Mikey: I’LL save you leo!
Donnie: *reaches out* wait mikey DON’T!-
*mikey charges at the ninja. It hits the floor, trying to punch them, but they dodge. When the fist that’s holding Leo comes down, Mikey pounces on it. They strain to hold on. The ninja growls and grabs them in its other hand*
Donnie: *angry* PUT MY BROTHERS DOWN!- *notices* Huh?
*he Looks from the ninja to the two Foot. Sees the Foot Lieutenant chuckling and smashing his fists together. When he does that so does the huge ninja. The younger trapped turtles are both groaning*
Donnie: *growls clenching his tech bo. His eyes narrowed into slits* Don’t…touch…MY LITTLE BROTHERS!
*Donnie then ran with incredible speed and held up his tech bo WACKING it against the bigger guy*
Brute: Argh! *falls back with a groan but he gets up and holds out his fists he PUNCHED donnie’s tech bo away from them but donnie didn’t care*
Donnie: *Growls as his teeth turned to fangs. His tail behind him was standing up and his nails had become claws. The softshell was PISSED*
*donnie then LEAPS forward at the brute CLAWING at him*
Brute: AGH! Get this thing off of me!
*Donnie’s claws CUT into the guy’s clothes leaving scratch marks and a little bit of blood*
Donnie: *HISSES* LET THEM GO!
*And before the two could even BLINK.
Donnie’s mouth of fangs went WIDE open and he BIT down on the Brute’s arm with a loud CHOMP*
Brute: AGHHHH!!!!
*the guy fell back holding his bloody arm screaming and Donnie picked up his tech bo and WACKED the other guy into a wall knocking him out before turning to the guy he bit, and knocking him out as well, both out cold.
Donnie’s claws and fangs returned to nails and teeth. And his eye slits went back to normal*
Donnie: *pants and touches his lips cringing when he sees red. He tasted blood* ohhh keep it down vomitello…gag! I need to clean my mouth out.
*The huge paper ninja starts to fall, releasing the turtles. Donnie’s eyes widened as he wiped off the blood from his mouth and Quickly grabbed both his younger brothers throwing himself over them as the giant ninja crashes and paper goes whooshing in all directions, much of it spilling off the ship. Ship’s horn blasts. Interior shot; ship full of loose paper*
*the Brothers gasp in shock/relief*
Donnie: Are you both alright?!
*he panicked his hands touching both their faces. And he checked them for injuries. Thankfully they were only a little bruised from the impact*
LEO: Huh? Y-yeah we’re fine.
Mikey: Yep! Totally fine!
Donnie: *breathes* Relieved sigh..good…
*then his eyes turned to fury and both of them gulped*
Donnie: *SNATCHES them by their mask tails* WHAT were you two knuckleheads thinking?!!
*Due to how tight the 3 kept their masks, pulling on them had the same effect as pulling a human’s ear, or even a human’s hair*
Leo: *yelps struggling to free his long mask tails* AHHHOWW! DONNN-!
Mikey: *Whines holding his head* DONALD! Owww!!
Donnie: You two could have killed yourselves! You both are in SO much trouble when we get back to the lair!
*his tough angry facade collapsed seconds later however when he pulled them both into a tight hug. Damn sensory issues, he had thought they were both gonna get seriously injured*
Donnie: don’t you EVER do that again.
*both younger brothers held onto him knowing that if he was clinging onto him like this, they must have REALLY scared him*
*Foot grunting as they push up through a paper pile. Foot Brute quickly forms an origami swan, realizes his mistake, and begins manipulating the paper again,
Donnie’s eyes widened and he looked at leo*
Donnie: Leo, now is the time for one of your last minute ideas!
LEO: *After looking around him* Hm. Mikey, the sprinklers!
MIKEY: I’m on it!
*Flings his weapon at a sprinkler head. The sphere flames on and causes the sprinkler to activate. Alarms sound and water rains down on the paper. The paper becomes soggy and can’t be formed into anything*
BRUTE: You may have shredded our plans for now. But next time, you will feel the fury of a thousand feet!
LIEUTENANT: Ooh, you’re on fire today!
*Chuckling, he makes a form with the salami and tosses it at the turtles. A dripping, sloppy form stalks towards them*
MIKEY: Ew! That’s nightmare fuel, man!
Donnie: *cringes in disgust* oh that-thats gross.
*Suddenly it splats to the ground into hundreds of individual salami slices*
DONNIE: Okay, salami origami doesn’t work.
Leo: Good to know, also those guys are gone.
Donnie: Yes I can see that leo….You two still are NOT off the hook however! *narrows his eyes* I specifically told you two NOT to rush in as we had no idea what they would do.
Leo: Sorry, we thought we could handle it.
Mikey: we didn’t want you to handle it alone.
Donnie: Sigh, I’m the older brother, AND the leader, AND the science guy, as well as the physically stronger one among all 3 of us. It’s my job to keep you two dum-dums safe….although I suppose I could start letting you help out, but ONLY if you promise not to rush in as often anymore!
Leo: Eh, we’ll do our best.
Donnie: I suppose that’s all I can expect from my two ADHD brothers. Sigh, alright come here you dum-dums.
*the 2 younger brothers hugged their big brother who gently nuzzled their heads and churred like a mother would to her bale*
Leo: You know you also don’t have to take ALL the pressure right dondon? we’re still brothers!*smiles holding a little fist out* twins?
Donnie: ….*manages a tiny smile fist bumping him* twins.
Mikey: awww!
Leo: *realizes something* wait is that..blood?-
Donnie: Uhhh no I don’t believe it is.
Leo: And that big guy had a bite on his arm- *eyes widen* Don did you go feral again?! *snickers* I know your overprotective but geez…
Donnie: *blushes* No comment.
MIKEY: So . . . Does this count as a win?
LEO:Well, I don’t know. Let’s think about it. Did the bad guys get their big supply of paper? Uh, no. Did they build their army of soldiers? *laughs* No. No, they didn’t. Are they otherwise thwarted, and we unscathed?
BROTHERS:Yes!
LEO: Hero mission accomplished, my friends!
ALL: Yeah!
*They all start rolling around on the paper together*