Chapter Text
[COMM RECORD: J#001]
[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]
JOE: Howdy y'all. Joe Hills here recording as I always do in Nashville, Tennessee—
CLEO: No, you promised.
JOE: I don’t recall promisin’ anything.
CLEO: Come on, Joe, we said no more of these… whatever you call them?
JOE: Well, I call ‘em ‘Joecasts’.
CLEO: Who is listening to these? They’re private recordings on your personal comm!
JOE: I like to think my target audience is real dedicated.
CLEO: They’d have to be.
JOE: There’s always gotta be someone watchin’.
CLEO: What?
JOE: Like, the eye in the sky. Just an example.
CLEO: You don’t seriously think Etho’s right about that.
JOE: Why not? I’ve sure seen crazier things.
CLEO: I’m sorry, what have you seen that’s crazier than a giant floating eyeball—oh, come on, that’s not even original! We had one of those last season!
JOE: It wasn’t the moon, though.
CLEO: Yeah, I suppose not. Wait, no, no, I’m not convinced.
JOE: Sure.
CLEO: Are you… alright?
JOE: Huh?
CLEO: You looked kinda out of it, there.
JOE: Hm. Yep.
CLEO: Right, well, I’m about done with this thing.
JOE: Uhuh?
CLEO: I’ve been tinkering with my comm and I think it can make calls again!
JOE: Um…
CLEO: Joe, seriously—
JOE: Do you feel lightheaded?
CLEO: Uh, no? No, what? Joe. Joe, you’re not funny. Come on.
JOE: Don’t—hold on… uh…
[COMM: RECORDING END]
[COMM: POWERING DOWN]
---
[COMM RECORD: CL#001]
[COMM: OUTGOING CALL
CALL >> XISUMA ]
[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS X TO STOP RECORDING]
XISUMA: Cleo? Hello? How did you do that?
CLEO: I’ve been messing with my comm. Got it to work again—but X, there’s not really time for an explanation right now.
XISUMA: What’s going on?
CLEO: It’s—it’s Joe. He’s really not well. I thought you’d know something.
XISUMA: What do you mean ‘not well’? How bad is it?
CLEO: Uh, well, he’s awake, but he’s not talking.
XISUMA: That’s… concerning.
CLEO: He’s also really dizzy. It’s almost like he’s drunk, but he wasn’t like this ten minutes ago!
XISUMA: He hasn’t taken anything?
CLEO: No. I would’ve seen, X.
[silence]
CLEO: X?
XISUMA: I think I know what this is. Send me your coords and stay there. Please.
CLEO: Got it. Should—what if it gets worse?
XISUMA: Just—stay there.
[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]
[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE
MESSAGE >> XISUMA ]
CLEO: Coords incoming [file attached]
[COMM: MESSAGE END]
[COMM: MESSAGE SENT]
[COMM: POWERING DOWN]
---
[COMM RECORD: X#005]
[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]
XISUMA: I don’t need your explanations. Really.
MUMBO: But—if you just listened—
XISUMA: Right. I’ve had enough.
[COMM: SERVER SETTINGS
>> WHITELIST
>> BAN
>> BAN >> MUMBOJUMBO >>
>>
>>
COMM: WAITING FOR USER INPUT
COMM: ACTION DISABLED]
XISUMA: You are a very lucky man right now.
SCAR: Oh hey, that almost happened to me too…
GRIAN: Go away, Scar!
[footsteps]
GRIAN: You better not try that again, X. We vote on these things, right?
MUMBO: Uh, thank you—
GRIAN: I’ll do it myself if you try anything.
MUMBO: I see.
[cough]
MUMBO: Can we maybe get Pearl back here?
GRIAN: Nope.
MUMBO: Alright. Is this… safe?
GRIAN: I think being right next to the core is perfectly safe. Why, don’t you?
MUMBO: Point taken.
XISUMA: You have a lot to answer for, you realise.
MUMBO: Uhuh.
GRIAN: When Cub gets back… I—I’m only saying this ‘cause, like, I nearly died. Y’know?
XISUMA: I don’t have to be here if—
GRIAN: No. I want this on record.
XISUMA: We can find your comm.
GRIAN: Just—stay.
XISUMA: Okay.
GRIAN: Cub’s gonna want my feathers, or something, like, for his potions. To save the world. I dunno. But I have better ideas, so I need you to be all—um—y’know how you tricked me? Yeah, well, you need to do that.
MUMBO: You know I’m sorry. I’ve said—
GRIAN: Ah! Doesn’t matter! If he gets all uppity about it, you know what to do.
MUMBO: Grian.
GRIAN: Hm?
[silence]
MUMBO: What’s the plan?
GRIAN: You’ll find out.
MUMBO: Oh, for goodness—you can’t keep me in the dark here.
GRIAN: Really? Can’t I?
XISUMA: Would… it be best to just tell him?
GRIAN: No.
MUMBO: I really think it would.
GRIAN: You don’t get a choice, sorry.
[silence]
GRIAN: Anyway. While we wait…
MUMBO: Scar said—he said you were sick.
XISUMA: Grian was going through code decay. I’m sure it would’ve killed a, well, the average player.
[hum]
XISUMA: Don’t look so down, friend. It might kill us yet.
MUMBO: Cub said it was safe.
GRIAN: He didn’t.
MUMBO: No, he didn’t.
[sigh]
MUMBO: Were you—no, I know you were in pain. I… I don’t know how to do this, actually. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.
GRIAN: Good.
XISUMA: I can always ban you if it’d make you feel better.
GRIAN: Do not.
MUMBO: Please.
GRIAN: Shut up.
[silence]
GRIAN: Sorry. You were my best friend. You know that, yeah?
MUMBO: Yes.
GRIAN: You made me feel like I’m, y’know, like, not a person, and stuff.
[silence]
MUMBO: You are a person, Grian.
GRIAN: Uh, yeah, the person who’s gonna get us out of this mess.
XISUMA: I hope so.
MUMBO: Ah, well, the alternative is dying in some horribly graphic fashion, so…
GRIAN: For the record, you’re not the first ones to do this sorta thing.
[silence]
GRIAN: So, like, don’t go about thinking you’re all some type of inexcusable unique evil.
MUMBO: What?
XISUMA: Yeah, I’m seconding that ‘what’.
GRIAN: Ohhh, right. I didn’t. Tell you about that. Don’t worry about it.
MUMBO: You are so explaining yourself once this is all over.
GRIAN: Am I, now?
MUMBO: Sorry, I mean. Only if you want to.
GRIAN: Depends how well you can convince Cub to leave me alone, I guess.
MUMBO: Oh, right, yes. Of course.
GRIAN: I think we’re done here. X?
XISUMA: Unless anyone has anything else to say, I can save this for the… well, if you need a character witness.
MUMBO: You’re not seriously considering—
XISUMA: It’s the server’s vote. We just need a server left to vote with.
MUMBO: I understand.
GRIAN: Brilliant. I’m off.
[footsteps]
MUMBO: Oh. Okay, well—
XISUMA: Hold on.
MUMBO: Yes?
XISUMA: I try to be fair. Just keep that in mind, while we fix this.
MUMBO: Got it. I—thank you for not banning me?
XISUMA: Don’t thank me yet.
[COMM: RECORDING END]
[COMM: POWERING DOWN]
---
[COMM RECORD: D#002]
[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]
DOC: I… don’t know what I expected.
[papers shuffling]
DOC: I should not keep this from you. Ah. If I send this, and I’m not a coward, you’ll understand, yes?
[tapping]
DOC: Ren and I made discoveries. Cub’s research. It translated itself. And, well, you see… I never thought I’d say Scar was right. About anything.
[laugh]
DOC: More troubling matters—there is something coming. I don’t know what. But it is dangerous, and worse than the things already happening. I think… this could be the big one, X.
[footsteps]
DOC: There are other [static] where the same thing happened. Well—not the same… similar.
[static]
DOC: Come to talk to me. Please. We need you to know what is going on, and I don’t know who can fix it. But if anyone can, it’s you. It has to be.
[papers shuffling] [footsteps]
DOC: I don’t know what will happen otherwise.
[COMM: RECORDING END]
[COMM: RECORDING SAVED]
[COMM: SEND RECORDING
SEND TO >> XISUMA
SENDING…
COMM: RECORDING SENT]
[COMM: POWERING DOWN]
---
[COMM RECORD: X#001]
[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]
XISUMA: There. Is that better? Can you hear me, Joe?
JOE: Loud and clear.
XISUMA: Focus on breathing.
JOE: Aye-aye.
CLEO: What happened?
XISUMA: I’ve been looking at the oxygen levels on the server for the past few days, and, um, it’s not…
CLEO: Yeah, that sounds bad.
XISUMA: It’s dropping. I think it’s going to void levels.
CLEO: But a player can survive easily in the End. We’ve all done it before.
XISUMA: Not End. Void. I’m from the void, that’s why I wear—wore—my mask.
CLEO: But the air’s been thinner since the reset.
XISUMA: And it’s getting worse.
CLEO: Why am I not passed out, then?
JOE: Thanks for the mask, X.
XISUMA: You’re welcome. Listen, Cleo, you… you’re undead.
CLEO: I’m aware.
XISUMA: It makes sense you don’t need as much air as other people.
[silence]
XISUMA: Sorry.
CLEO: No, no, it’s fine. This is good!
XISUMA: I need to make sure everyone’s okay. Sorry.
CLEO: Go, go. Remember to turn your comm off.
XISUMA: Thanks for the data, at least. I’ll relay it to Zedaph when I get the chance. Keep that mask on, Joe.
JOE: Aw, man.
CLEO: It does make you sound funny.
XISUMA: Maybe you can fix some more comms? Who knows how I’m gonna find half the hermits.
CLEO: If I see anyone, I’ll try my best.
XISUMA: Okay, good. Stay safe.
JOE: Will do.
CLEO: We’ll be around.
[COMM: RECORDING END]
[COMM: POWERING DOWN]