Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM SCAR ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE X BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

GRIAN: Hello?

SCAR: Grian? Is—it worked…

GRIAN: Scar, what do you want? I’m kind of busy right now.

SCAR: Wait, wait, where are you?

GRIAN: My house?

SCAR: Can you [static]

GRIAN: Huh? You’re gonna have to speak up, fella.

SCAR: Be more spe—sp… specific!

GRIAN: My house? My survival world house?

SCAR: You’re not on Hermitcraft?

GRIAN: No? Do you need something?

SCAR: You should go to Hermitcraft, before…

GRIAN: Scar, you sound really weird. Are you good, buddy?

[silence] [static]

GRIAN: Okay, now you’re weirding me out.

SCAR: Get to Hermitcraft, please. You can s… [static]

GRIAN: What’s wrong?

SCAR: Oh, you—it’s too late for me.

GRIAN: What’s that mean?

[silence]

GRIAN: What’s going on, Scar?

SCAR: I love you.

GRIAN: Uh, I love you too, I guess?

SCAR: I never got to tell you…

[silence]

SCAR: It’s so dark.

GRIAN: What?

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: BOOTING UP SERVER LIST

SELECTION COMPLETE >> HERMITCRAFT

ERROR: YOU CANNOT CONNECT TO THIS SERVER]

[SELECTION COMPLETE >> HERMITCRAFT

ERROR: YOU CANNOT CONNECT TO THIS SERVER]

[SELECTION COMPLETE >> HERMITCRAFT

ERROR: THIS SERVER DOES NOT EXIST, PLEASE CHECK IP ADDRESS IS ENTERED CORRECTLY]

[CONTACT SUPPORT TEAM? >> NO]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[>> MAKE A CALL

CALL >> SCAR ]

[CALLING SCAR ]

[COMM: THIS USER HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> ALL ACTIVE MEMBERS ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE X BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

XISUMA: Hello everyone! Don’t forget to set your status!

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

---

[COMM RECORD: S#002]

[COMM: [static]

CALL >> GRIAN ]

[COMM: [static] ]

UNKNOWN USER: Oh, gosh. Pick up.

UNKNOWN USER: Please.

[COMM: GRIAN ACCEPTED YOUR CALL]

GRIAN: What the—what the heck is going on?

UNKNOWN USER: Grian, you’re back! Listen to me, you have to get on Hermitcraft now.

GRIAN: I can’t. My comm’s glitched or something.

[silence] [static]

UNKNOWN USER: I… I’m sorry.

GRIAN: Huh?

UNKNOWN USER: I can’t—I can’t help you.

GRIAN: Scar, please just tell me what’s happening.

UNKNOWN USER: [static] the dark.

GRIAN: I can’t understand you! Come on, Scar, you’re really scaring me.

UNKNOWN USER: Go to sleep.

GRIAN: It’s the middle of the day.

UNKNOWN USER: Please. It’ll be easier.

GRIAN: You don’t sound like yourself.

UNKNOWN USER: I’m so sor— [footsteps, fast] [scratching] [thud]

GRIAN: Scar?

[howling] [sniffing]

[crack] [tearing]

[static]

GRIAN: Scar?! Hello?!

[COMM: [static] ]

[COMM: [static] ]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> ALL ACTIVE MEMBERS ]

XISUMA: Hi again. There will be a server reset in five minutes. Please log off. I will safety kick anyone who is not logged off in four minutes.

XISUMA: Stay safe everyone! This is just a routine update.

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM CLEO ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE X BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

XISUMA: Hello?

CLEO: Uh, so, problem.

XISUMA: Yes?

CLEO: I can’t log off?

XISUMA: What? What do you mean?

CLEO: I tried to exit into my survival world, but my comm bugged out. Can I get a kick instead?

XISUMA: Of course. I’ll have a look at your comm after the update.

[XISUMA: ACTION >> KICK ZOMBIECLEO ]

[COMM: ACTION FAILED]

XISUMA: What?

CLEO: What’s the matter?

XISUMA: I… I can’t kick you.

CLEO: Wait, has anyone else—

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM SCAR ]

SCAR: Hey, so, can I get a kick?

XISUMA: I can try. Cleo just asked and it didn’t work.

SCAR: That’s… not good, is it?

XISUMA: It’s fine. I’ll try again.

[XISUMA: ACTION >> KICK GOODTIMESWITHSCAR ]

[COMM: ACTION FAILED]

XISUMA: We have a small problem.

CLEO: Obviously. Hi Scar.

SCAR: Hey. X, why is it not listening to you?

[COMM: SERVER RESET IN FOUR MINUTES]

XISUMA: I don’t know.

CLEO: Well, figure it out, please!

XISUMA: I’m trying.

[COMM: MESSAGE FROM KERALIS ]

KERALIS: Can’t get into server? U ok shashwam?

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> KERALIS ]

XISUMA: Don’t try again. Something wrong w server.

XISUMA: No time to talk. ly.

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[COMM: ON CALL WITH CLEO & SCAR ]

CLEO: X, it’ll be okay, right?

XISUMA: Keralis can’t access the server.

CLEO: Well, that’s… better than being stuck.

SCAR: Are you alright?

XISUMA: Panicking a bit.

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM MUMBO ]

MUMBO: Um, hi, my—

XISUMA: I know. I’m working on it.

CLEO: Hello Mumbo. Ready to die?

MUMBO: What?

SCAR: Don’t say that!

CLEO: What? It might be true.

[COMM: SERVER RESET IN THREE MINUTES]

XISUMA: I would appreciate some quiet.

CLEO: Sorry, X.

SCAR: Sorry.

MUMBO: Can someone explain—

XISUMA: Please.

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM DOC ]

XISUMA: Ugh!

DOC: X, I—

CLEO: Doc, shh.

DOC: But—

MUMBO: Seriously.

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> SERVER DETAILS

>> SERVER RESET

>> RESET PROGRESS: 74%

>> CANCEL RESET >> YES]

[COMM: CANCEL RESET FAILED]

XISUMA: AGH!

DOC: What is going on?

MUMBO: We’d both like to know that.

XISUMA: Who… who’s inactive, right now?

CLEO: Uh…

[COMM: SERVER RESET IN TWO MINUTES]

SCAR: Cub, Grian, Pearl, Keralis… oh! Also False, Gem, aaaand Beef.

XISUMA: Okay.

XISUMA: Okay.

[silence]

CLEO: X?

MUMBO: Are we not—I mean, we’re safe, right?

[silence]

XISUMA: I… there’s no time. I can’t…

CLEO: Xisuma, calm down. We need you to be calm right about now—

DOC: Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?

SCAR: We can’t leave.

XISUMA: I’m sorry.

DOC: Wh—cancel the reset!

XISUMA: I can’t. I tried.

DOC: But—

XISUMA: I TRIED!

CLEO: Calm down, please.

XISUMA: Calm d—CALM DOWN? How? How on earth am I meant to—I—I… [gagging] [splashing]

MUMBO: Did, uh, did you just—sorry—throw up?

SCAR: It’s not fine, is it?

[COMM: SERVER RESET IN ONE MINUTE]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM BDUBS ]

BDUBS: Hey, X! I—now what’re all YOU doing here?

CLEO: Oh my god.

DOC: Bdubs. Talk to X. He—he’s losing it.

BDUBS: Well, hey, pal. Friend. What’s the problem?

XISUMA: I—I can’t—my hands—my hands are shaking. I can’t—

BDUBS: Woah, buddy. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

[silence]

BDUBS: Deeper breaths. Uh, little help over here, guys? Can’t someone get to him?

CLEO: There’s no time.

[COMM: YOU HAVE TWENTY-TWO MESSAGES]

[COMM: YOU HAVE THIRTY-EIGHT MESSAGES]

[COMM: YOU HAVE SEVENTY-FIVE MESSAGES]

[COMM: REN TRIED TO CALL, CALL FULL]

[COMM: HYPNO TRIED TO CALL, CALL FULL]

[COMM: TANGO TRIED TO CALL, CALL FULL]

XISUMA: I’m sorry.

[breathing]

[COMM: SERVER RESET IN THIRTY SECONDS, PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY]

CLEO: X? Your air filter, is it—

BDUBS: The server’s gonna reset.

SCAR: We can’t be here. We can’t—

MUMBO: Who—Scar, who’s not here?

SCAR: Uh, lemme remember… uh, Grian and… and Gem. Um…

MUMBO: Oh, thank goodness.

XISUMA: Cub, Grian, Pearl, Keralis, False, Gem, and Beef.

DOC: They’re safe?

[heavy breathing]

SCAR: X, leave the server.

XISUMA: What?

SCAR: Can you?

XISUMA: I… maybe? I can’t test it.

CLEO: Is this it, then?

DOC: I don’t know.

BDUBS: Aw, man, this sucks.

SCAR: It does indeed, my friend.

BDUBS: I thought I’d go out with a bang, y’know. Like, BANG!

CLEO: Uhuh.

BDUBS: That would’ve been funnier if it ended th—

[COMM: SERVER RESETTING]

SERVER RESET IN PROGRESS

SERVER RESET IN PROGRESS

SERVER RESET IN PROGRESS

ERRORS FOUND:

ERROR: UNKNOWN ENTITIES

ERROR: UNKNOWN PLAYER STATUS

ERROR:

ERROR: RESET CORRUPTED

ERROR: SERVER SYNCHRONISATION OFF

ERROR: UNKNOWN ERROR

SEQUENCE ENDING]

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

GRIAN: So, uh, things are… weird… right now.

[button pressed]

GRIAN: Sorry, you’ll hear that a lot. Stress relief. Anyways, things are weird so I’m recording it. ‘Cause of course I am. I’m me.

[laugh]

GRIAN: Um. Hermitcraft is down. Don’t know why. And I got these weird calls from Scar, which were totally creepy? Like, not like a joke. Genuinely creepy. Um…

[silence]

GRIAN: There might be something else. I just keep reminding myself in my head, y’know, this is a survival world. It’s single-player. There isn’t anything else here. But I don’t exactly know… why? It’s like, my brain just wants to let me know.

[button pressed]

GRIAN: Thanks for the reminder, brain? I guess it’s my last two braincells trying to come up with something to scare me. Like reverse psychology? I don’t know. But there’s nothing here. I can’t seem to access any servers, so I’ll have to get X or Mumbo to look at my comm. Maybe I can invite them over here, or something.

[hum]

GRIAN: That’s all. Uh, if anything happens, I’ll try to get it all documented. Should be fine, though. Bye.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM UNKNOWN USER ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE Z BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

PEARL: Who is this?

UNKNOWN USER: That’s actually unimportant.

PEARL: How d’you get this comm?

UNKNOWN USER: More importantly, where are you, Pearl?

PEAR: Uh, Hermitcraft? Seriously, who are you?

[static]

PEARL: Hello?

UNKNOWN USER: What season?

PEARL: I… no. I’m not doing this. Whoever you are—

UNKNOWN USER: Pearl, would you look up?

PEARL: Wh—what are you talking about?

UNKNOWN USER: The [static] is it [static]?

PEARL: What?

UNKNOWN USER: Please. Just please tell me [static]

PEARL: Yeah, I’m hanging up now. Goodbye.

UNKNOWN USER: The SKY, Pearl. Look at the SKY.

PEARL: Bye.

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: BOOTING UP WORLD LIST

SELECTION COMPLETE >> SINGLE-PLAYER SURVIVAL

CONNECTING…

ERROR: WORLD ERROR]

[REDIRECTING…]

[COMM: WORLD FOUND, PREPARE FOR TRANSFER]

[WORLD CONNECTED]

---

[COMM RECORD: K#001]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> XISUMA ]

KERALIS: Shashwammy?

KERALIS: Everything o-k?

KERALIS: Call me?

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[ERROR: MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

ERROR: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> XISUMA ]

KERALIS: ???

KERALIS: Call?

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[ERROR: MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

ERROR: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST]

---

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

GRIAN: Hi again. Uh, wait, I don’t know why I’m talking like someone’s gonna find this? If they do, I’ll be attached to it, so there’s no point, right? Anyways, I’m just updating… myself, I guess. It’s good to keep a note of things, or at least Mumbo said so. And you know me—wait, I know me—whatever—I’m totally organised.

[laugh]

GRIAN: Um… the sky was weird last night. I wouldn’t usually care, right, ‘cause worlds are weird, and the sky can be weird. But I don’t know. Ever since season eight…

[button pressed] [button pressed]

GRIAN: Anyway. I think there were less stars than usual. It was probably the clouds, except I swear there weren’t any clouds when the sun set. So, that’s odd, isn’t it? It’s nothing, probably. But I—there was something else, maybe? Like this weird… flash? In the sky?

[silence]

GRIAN: I don’t know. I’m kind of tired. Haven’t slept in a while. It’s nothing. But, like, if it’s not nothing, I thought it’s good to make a note. Just in case? I still can’t get off world. I put in a report to the Moderators, but I don’t know if it went through. Call me crazy, but I don’t feel all that alone.

[breathing]

GRIAN: Ah, yep, anyways—oh I need to stop saying that. For goodness sake. That’s all.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> MUMBO ]

GRIAN: something up w my comm, opening my world. come help?

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[ERROR: MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

ERROR: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST]

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> WORLD DETAILS

>> PRIVACY

>> OPEN WORLD

>> OPEN WORLD TO FRIENDS >> YES]

[ERROR: COULD NOT COMPLETE REQUEST]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> XISUMA ]

GRIAN: u ok? can’t get on hermitcraft

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[ERROR: MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

ERROR: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> SCAR ]

GRIAN: u alive?

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[ERROR: MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

ERROR: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM UNKNOWN USER ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE X BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

GRIAN: Hello? Scar?

UNKNOWN USER: Um, hello?

GRIAN: Wh—who…

UNKNOWN USER: Oh, Grian!

GRIAN: Sorry, who is this?

UNKNOWN USER: Grian, listen to me. Tell the hermits—

GRIAN: Oof, I have to stop you, buddy. I’m not on Hermitcraft.

UNKNOWN USER: You aren’t? But… I was certain I got the right comm.

GRIAN: Uh, wrong number?

UNKNOWN USER: No! Well, potentially. I think you have the wrong number. What are you, zero-zero-one?

GRIAN: Mate, I have no idea what you’re on about.

UNKNOWN USER: You really can’t recognise me?

GRIAN: Not with all that… static?

UNKNOWN USER: I apologise.

GRIAN: So what did I need to tell the hermits?

UNKNOWN USER: It isn’t important for you. You’ll be fine. This is rather fascinating, however.

GRIAN: Hm. You sound like—

UNKNOWN USER: Regardless! Keep an eye on your world, for me, alright?

GRIAN: Oh, I’m way ahead of you there. By the way, do you know why I’m stuck here?

UNKNOWN USER: Oh, I really wouldn’t worry ab— [static]

GRIAN: Okay, that’s not ominous at all.

[static]

GRIAN: Woah.

[static]

GRIAN: Ow. So—

[static]

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: S#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

ETHO: What’re you doing?

SCAR: I thought—if we forget.

ETHO: You don’t forget this.

SCAR: Well, mister, we have been! So… deal with it.

ETHO: Keep your voice down, he’s—

[growling]

[hissing]

SCAR: Uhoh.

ETHO: Run!

SCAR: Hey, wait!

[loud footsteps] [heavy breathing]

[scratching] [loud thud]

[snarling] [barking]

SCAR: Oh, come on!

[howling]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: This is Xisuma, recording for… I have no idea. For my sanity?

[footsteps]

XISUMA: The reset seems to have left me in some sort of voidspace. I can feel a floor under me, but everything is dark, with stars floating all around. It’s reminding me of season eight, which—

CLEO: X, is that you?

XISUMA: Over here, Cleo!

CLEO: Oh my goodness—

XISUMA: Either we’re alive, or we’re not.

CLEO: Comforting words, as always, X. Wow, I can see you. Are you okay?

XISUMA: I’m fine.

CLEO: You don’t need to—

BDUBS: CLEO? XISUMA?

CLEO: Bdubs! You’re not dead!

XISUMA: Or we’re all dead.

BDUBS: You don’t need to sound so SURPRISED.

SCAR: Oh my gosh, is that Bdubs I hear?

BDUBS: Sure is! Hey Scar, we’re all dead, apparently.

XISUMA: I didn’t say that.

SCAR: I sure don’t feel dead.

XISUMA: How are you all navigating like this?

CLEO: Oh, don’t worry, I fell several times on the way here.

BDUBS: Turns out I have amazing muscle memory.

SCAR: That means he also fell.

BDUBS: Did NOT!

XISUMA: Wait, muscle memory?

SCAR: Well, sure, this is still Hermitcraft. I was over that-a-way in Scarland.

[silence]

SCAR: I mean, it looks a bit different, now—

XISUMA: A bit—it’s all void, Scar!

CLEO: Void with tripping hazards.

BDUBS: No, it’s the same… We’re at spawn, right now, got it? Just looks spooky.

ETHO: HEY!

XISUMA: Oh, not another one.

BDUBS: ETHO!

SCAR: Ah, family reunion.

CLEO: Don’t you dare.

ETHO: So, what happened?

XISUMA: The server reset with us on it. No one could leave, and now…

ETHO: Uhuh. And that’s bad. I see.

CLEO: Obviously. Have you seen the place?

SCAR: Oh, we’re gonna have to get a new world…

XISUMA: It’ll take a while. This one was already a rush job.

ETHO: What’re you talking about? It looks fine.

CLEO: Sorry, not sure if you noticed, we are floating in space.

BDUBS: Not exactly! Everything’s still here, it just LOOKS like space. It’s like a voidroom, but BIGGER!

XISUMA: This is bad.

ETHO: It… looks fine?

XISUMA: Wait, are you having me on? You have to be honest with me, Etho.

ETHO: No, it’s all normal. Bdubs, did you put something in their tea? And your own?

CLEO: You just had to be different, didn't you?

SCAR: Oooh, is it ‘cause of your eye? I wonder if Doc—

XISUMA: That’s it. We need to find everyone and hold a server meeting. It’s worrying me that no one has messaged me yet.

CLEO: So, we split up?

SCAR: That always goes so well in movies!

BDUBS: We can find the hermits, no problem. This is all kinda freaky, huh?

ETHO: If you really can’t see… let’s meet here in an hour.

XISUMA: Okay, everyone. Stay safe. Keep me updated. Try not to die.

SCAR: Good advice. Y’know, I once—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: S#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

[sniffing]

[scratching] [cracking]

SCAR: Hey! Leave it!

[snarling] [growl]

[hiss]

SCAR: You again.

[howl] [scratching]

SCAR: Amazin’.

[loud footsteps]

SCAR: Can I have that back, I kinda need it—

[growling] [huffing]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: Okay, it’s on.

CLEO: Don’t want to explain one more time for the record?

XISUMA: If I have to explain again I might lose my mind.

CLEO: Alright, if you say so.

MUMBO: I think we’re all on the same page.

SCAR: So couldn’t anyone find Tango?

DOC: I tried.

CLEO: Everyone’s comms are dead.

ETHO: I don’t think we’d find him with comms.

CLEO: Maybe you couldn’t.

JOE: Don’t be mean.

CLEO: It’s Etho. Doesn’t count.

ETHO: Yeah, well, which one of us can see?

CLEO: I’ll still gut you.

[silence]

BDUBS: Anyway—

xB: No one found Wels or Hypno, either…

REN: Oh, Hypno's gone wandering, my dude. Said he knows the world well enough to figure it out. Didn't wanna chat.

SCAR: What if he gets more lost?

XISUMA: Can everyone please calm down?

DOC: Do you actually have a plan, X?

REN: Dude.

DOC: Are you not concerned?

XISUMA: My plan, if you’ll listen for a second, involves everyone here being quiet. Please.

CLEO: Go ahead, X.

[muttering]

XISUMA: We need to stay calm. Everyone—aside from Etho, I guess—should have a friend with them at all times. No hermit left alone. If anyone experiences another glitch or spots a new corruption, you must tell me immediately. Our comms are down, so I—I’ll try to stay around spawn. Or, wherever I think spawn is.

JEVIN: Do we… know what’s going on? I mean, no pressure, X, but, you know.

IMPULSE: And what about our friends? Apparently, they’re fine, but do we know that? Are the other hermits safe?

XISUMA: As far as I know, they should be totally unharmed.

xB: But you’re not sure, man?

SCAR: Leave him alone, will you? We’re all missing people. It’s not anybody’s fault.

MUMBO: I’ll second that.

CLEO: Okay, can we listen to Xisuma, please?

JOE: Yup. Listenin’ ears, watchin’ eyes.

XISUMA: Thank you. But… I’m sorry, I can’t answer most of your questions. I don’t know what happened. I don’t even know if this is a localised event—

SCAR: You mean other servers could be in trouble?

XISUMA: Potentially! I don’t know!

[scraping, wood on stone]

ZEDAPH: I might have a theory.

XISUMA: Wait, really?

ZEDAPH: There was… one thing. I talked about it with Cub—

SCAR: Cub? You—oh, that rapscallion!

XISUMA: What did Cub do?

ZEDAPH: We had a theory, it… we called it— [static]

[static]

ZEDAPH: Listen, here. He left me these blueprints.

MUMBO: I don’t understand…

XISUMA: Hold on, my comm’s acting funny.

[static] [tapping] [static]

xB: What’s this mean, Zed?

ZEDAPH: I don’t know. It’s only a theory.

CLEO: Sounds a bit silly, doesn’t it?

MUMBO: I’ll admit, it is far-fetched. But fascinating.

XISUMA: I’m not ruling anything out. Zed, please continue to research this— [static]

[static]

[static]

XISUMA: —breaking. Hold on.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> WORLD DETAILS

>> WORLD HISTORY

>> WORLD AGE >> 4.6 YEARS

>> WORLD HISTORY

>> WHITELISTED MEMBERS >> FILE CORRUPTED]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM GRIAN ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE Z X BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

PEARL: Heeeello?

GRIAN: Pearl, thank goodness.

PEARL: Grian?

GRIAN: Yeah, it’s me. Sorry, are you on Hermitcraft?

PEARL: Y’know, I have no clue.

GRIAN: Huh? Oh, whatever. Scar said you were weird today.

[strained laugh]

GRIAN: Listen. You have to look at the [static]

PEARL: What?

GRIAN: The [static] look [static]

PEARL: Grian, mate, you’re cutting out.

GRIAN: [static]

[static]

PEARL: Grian? Hello?

[static] [beeping]

PEARL: Are you here? What’s watching me?

GRIAN: —the SKY, Pearl!

PEARL: Why do people keep saying that?

GRIAN: Pearl, come on, the—[static]

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> WORLD DETAILS

>> WORLD NAME: UNKNOWN

>> WORLD DETAILS

>> WORLD ADDRESS: UNKNOWN]

[COMM: BOOTING UP WORLD LIST

SELECTION COMPLETE >> SINGLE-PLAYER SURVIVAL

CONNECTING…

ERROR: WORLD SELECTED MATCHES CURRENT WORLD ADDRESS]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: C#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

CUB: False, you gotta calm down, dude.

[screeching] [metallic clang]

CUB: Come on, you’re destroying the place!

[wings flapping] [screeching]

CUB: Okay, okay, sheesh.

[scratching]

CUB: I can’t do this. I don’t know—

[screeching] [cawing]

CUB: What happened to you?

[metal breaking]

CUB: Holy—watch out!

[heavy breathing] [thud] [scratching]

CUB: Stay—stay back. False, you don’t wanna do this.

[wings flapping] [glass shattering]

CUB: NO!

[wings flapping] [cawing]

CUB: WAIT! FALSE!

[wind rushing] [distant cawing]

CUB: Well… at least we have notes.

[footsteps]

CUB: She was just like… but then he didn’t… It doesn’t make sense.

[pages turning]

CUB: Gotta make another… That’s another week. Agh!

[pencil snaps] [silence]

CUB: Oh, I should turn this thing off—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

GRIAN: It’s like, I’m not a stars guy, I don’t know things. I’m not smart. All I know is build pretty building, okay? That’s all a Grian does, thank you very much. But I noticed. And I’m not even a stars guy, so, like, it’s got to be something! I’m not insane!

[footsteps, pacing]

GRIAN: It just feels like if I look out there again, there’ll be more stars missing… so I don’t wanna look. And I swear—this is my imagination, but I swear—the moon looks closer.

[footsteps stop]

GRIAN: It’s like the stars are just… going away. Pretty sure that’s not how light even works. What am I meant to do about it? How do I fix it? The Moderators haven’t contacted me, I can’t reach anyone on Hermitcraft—for all I know, they’re all dead! They’re all dead and I’m—

[button pressed]

GRIAN: When I got that call from Scar, he sounded weird. I tried to listen back, but I couldn’t—it’s like something went in and scribbled all over his voice. It hurt my ears. It’s stupid, but… I—he said ‘I love you’, and I can’t listen back.

[silence] [sigh]

GRIAN: I still don’t feel alone. When I’m building, sometimes, it’s like I can see something. Like, something’s watching. Watching. Nope. No, oh, no, no, no. Nuh-uh. Normal watching, not—not Watching. It can’t be…

[tapping]

GRIAN: It’s probably just an animal or something. Nothing to worry about. Mumbo will call me back soon. Yeah.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> CUB ]

GRIAN: ok, this isn’t gonna work but if u get this tell scar to message me

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[ERROR: UNKNOWN ERROR

ERROR: THIS USER CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A A AAA A]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[A AAAAA AAAA AA AA A  AAAA A AA AAAAAA AA AA]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: MESSAGE FROM CUB ]

CUB: [MESSAGE UNCLEAR]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> CUB ]

GRIAN: CUB?????

CUB: [MESSAGE UNCLEAR]

GRIAN: don’t understand, comm broken?!

GRIAN: can u get to hc?

CUB: [MESSAGE UNCLEAR]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM UNKNOWN USER ]

GRIAN: sry, talk later

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE X BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

GRIAN: Hello? Mumbo?

UNKNOWN USER: Sorry to disappoint, cuteguy.

GRIAN: Scar!

UNKNOWN USER: The very same!

GRIAN: Where have you been? What happened? Where are you?

UNKNOWN USER: Woah, woah, slow down [static]

GRIAN: You’re all muffled again…

UNKNOWN USER: You didn’t make it to Hermitcraft, huh?

GRIAN: No, I told you, my comm is broken.

UNKNOWN USER: Hey now, it’s okay. Probably better like that.

GRIAN: But you were so—you sounded scared. And weird. Not just normal Scar weird, either.

UNKNOWN USER: You’re safe, that’s what matters.

GRIAN: Sometimes, on my comm, you’re Scar—it shows your name and everything—and sometimes, it doesn’t recognise you. What’s that mean? Why can’t I message you?

UNKNOWN USER: Oh, well, that’s just [static]

GRIAN: Oh, ha-ha, universe, very convenient.

UNKNOWN USER: I’m gonna assume you didn’t get all that.

GRIAN: Is everyone okay, where you are?

UNKNOWN USER: Well sure!

[footsteps]

UNKNOWN USER: Except, maybe, uh [static] no, you can’t hear that. Um… everything’s fine?

[distant howling]

GRIAN: Sure doesn’t sound okay.

UNKNOWN USER: Ah, you see, [static] it can’t be helped. Poor guy.

[silence]

GRIAN: When you said… you said ‘I love you’, before.

UNKNOWN USER: I did.

GRIAN: Can you say it again?

UNKNOWN USER: It’s not my place. I—I shouldn’t have.

GRIAN: Please?

UNKNOWN USER: No.

[growling] [static]

GRIAN: Are you okay?

UNKNOWN USER: I have to go.

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: BOOTING UP SERVER LIST

SELECTION COMPLETE >> HERMITCRAFT

ERROR: THIS SERVER DOES NOT EXIST, PLEASE CHECK IP ADDRESS IS ENTERED CORRECTLY]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: C#005]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM ZEDAPH ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE [ ] BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

ZEDAPH: Um. I’ve got it.

CUB: Oh, shoot, really?

ZEDAPH: You wanted proof. Here it is. I’m holding it! And I’m just a tiny bit shaken.

CUB: I didn’t want proof. And I’m assuming this is an… ‘indisposed borrowing’ situation.

ZEDAPH: Ye—yeah. I think.

CUB: Uhuh. So, what’ve you got for me, man?

ZEDAPH: You won’t believe this.

CUB: I’ll believe anything.

ZEDAPH: It’s a— [static]

CUB: You cut out there.

ZEDAPH: A— [static]

CUB: I should’ve expected this. You’ll have to bring it over.

ZEDAPH: What’s up with the comms?

CUB: They’re not fond of [static] I guess.

ZEDAPH: Oh. Uhm. What about your…

CUB: It’s under control.

ZEDAPH: Do you need, um, I think, I can say it’s for a Zedvancement, can’t I?

[silence] [crackling]

ZEDAPH: Have you told Scar?

CUB: He doesn’t need to know.

ZEDAPH: That’s no way to treat a friend.

[footsteps] [door shutting]

CUB: Get me… um, I think I need—let me check—

[pages turning]

CUB: Three feathers, a paw… I have enough of the talon from last time. Ugh.

ZEDAPH: That’s it, then?

CUB: Ah, shoot. Might need some teeth, too. I can—if you can’t figure an excuse…

ZEDAPH: Leave it to me.

CUB: You’re a lifesaver.

ZEDAPH: Not… really?

CUB: You know what I mean.

[dull thud]

CUB: When that gets to me, I need to take off for a while.

ZEDAPH: You mean, like, off server?

CUB: There’s something I need to take care of.

ZEDAPH: You’re not leaving, right? You wouldn’t… you’ll tell me, like you said?

CUB: Sure.

ZEDAPH: Cub, you gotta tell me. You’re not having me on.

CUB: I will, I will.

ZEDAPH: Don’t let me get stuck here. Not when I— [static]

CUB: You’re breaking up again.

ZEDAPH: I’m coming with the thing. The, the—what’s it called? —the proof.

CUB: I’ll be around.

ZEDAPH: You better be!

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> XISUMA ]

CUB: Hey, do you know when the next server update is?

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[COMM: OPEN COMM RECORD

>> RECORD HISTORY

>> CALLS

>> SORT BY >> MOST RECENT

>> DELETE CALL >> ]

[ACTION PAUSED]

[COMM: MESSAGE FROM XISUMA ]

XISUMA: Two days, why?

CUB: Just checking! :)

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: B#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

BDUBS: —not fair.

ETHO: I don’t know, man.

BDUBS: But how come YOU get to see?

ETHO: I’m built different.

BDUBS: Built worse, is more like it. You’re—

ETHO: Oh, no, Bdubs, don’t say it.

BDUBS: Washed up.

ETHO: It’s true! It’s true, I am. Oh, no.

[laughter]

BDUBS: You’re too good! I feel kinda bad.

ETHO: Well…

BDUBS: Don’t you—

ETHO: At least I can reach the high shelf.

BDUBS: YOU THINK YOU’RE SO FUNNY.

ETHO: Yeah.

BDUBS: Whatever! You don’t know—the ladies love my height. They tell me all the time—

ETHO: Oh, yeah, all those ladies you talk to.

BDUBS: YES.

ETHO: C’mere.

[footsteps] [yelp]

[laughter]

ETHO: Ladies, uhuh?

BDUBS: Oh, YOU—you…

ETHO: Me?

BDUBS: Shut up.

[laughter fades]

ETHO: It’s a nice night.

BDUBS: Night? It’s night already? Get me to a bed! I—oh, not like… ugh!

ETHO: Can’t you enjoy it, for once?

BDUBS: I can’t even—everything looks the SAME.

ETHO: I’ll describe it to you.

BDUBS: Noooo.

ETHO: No clouds, lotsa stars. And the—oh—the moon.

BDUBS: Stop it.

[silence]

BDUBS: Etho?

[silence]

BDUBS: I’m not kidding around, man.

ETHO: I—the moon. Bdubs.

BDUBS: Is it getting bigger? Etho? Come on.

ETHO: No, it—it’s… I…

BDUBS: Please, you’re freaking me out.

ETHO: There’s something there.

BDUBS: What do you mean? WHAT?

ETHO: Gimme your comm. I’ll take a pic.

BDUBS: Okay, uh, one se—how long has this been on?

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: CAPTURING IMAGE]

[COMM: SAVING…

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTED]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: CAPTURING IMAGE]

[COMM: SAVING…

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTED]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: R#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

[sniffing]

[growling]

DOC: Calm down. I am trying to help.

[scratching]

DOC: Shh. Breathe, my friend.

[heavy breathing] [scraping]

DOC: You can do this. Just open your eyes. Look at me.

REN: … Doc?

DOC: You’re back.

REN: What… wha… ohhh, my head.

DOC: Take it easy, man.

REN: My dude. What happened?

DOC: You, uh, wolfed-out?

[soft laugh]

DOC: Ah, but you’re back.

REN: No, I—I don’t… it’s never like this.

DOC: How do you mean?

REN: I can’t—when I’m a wolf, y’know, I’m still me.

[silence]

REN: I was an animal.

DOC: No, you—

REN: Why are you recording this? Dude.

DOC: I… in case, uh. Research opportunity.

REN: Don’t do th—that again.

DOC: I’m sorry.

REN: You know why I turned?

DOC: No one does. It just… happened.

REN: We’re still stuck?

DOC: Yes.

REN: How long?

DOC: A month.

REN: A—what? Oh my—did I hurt anyone?

[silence]

REN: Doc.

DOC: I’m turning this off. Go to bed.

REN: Doc, come on, dude.

DOC: Go to—

[growling]

DOC: Calm down.

REN: Tell me.

DOC: I will not. It wasn’t you.

REN: Tell me.

DOC: No.

[snarling]

REN: You’re scared.

DOC: I—

[growling]

[hissing]

REN: You are. I hurt you, didn’t I?

[silence]

REN: I knew it.

DOC: That’s enough.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: BOOTING UP SERVER LIST

SELECTION COMPLETE >> HERMITCRAFT

ERROR: THIS SERVER DOES NOT EXIST, PLEASE CHECK IP ADDRESS IS ENTERED CORRECTLY]

[COMM: NEWS

>> GLOBAL NEWS

>> FILTER >> COMMS

ERROR: FAILED TO LOAD NEWSPAGE]

[COMM: WORLD DETAILS

>> WORLD SCANS

>> FULL WORLD SCAN >> YES]

[WARNING: DO NOT SWITCH OFF COMM WHILE SCAN IS IN PROGRESS]

[SCANNING…

ERROR: UNKNOWN ERROR]

[COMM: OPEN WORLD CODE

>> TERRAIN CODE

>> SKY

>> NIGHT

ERROR: THIS CODE IS UNAVAILABLE]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

GRIAN: An update about the sky, ‘cause I think it’s a thing now. Uh, right, so, it’s not good.

[paper shuffling]

GRIAN: I tried, like, drawing the stars? Where they were and stuff—the constellations? Over a few days, to see if there were changes. And, yeah, not good. Really not good. I was right, they’re going away. The stars are going out.

[wood scraping] [footsteps]

GRIAN: Listen, I’m not superstitious. I swear, this is gonna make me sound crazy. Again. But, like, I put this—this eye thing, on my door. It’s meant to keep bad stuff out? I’m not one of those idiots who believes in, I dunno, Herobrine? Oh my goodness, I feel old. That one is so old. But anyways, ugh, it made me feel better, I guess.

[footsteps stop]

GRIAN: It can’t be Them.

[button pressed]

GRIAN: Sorry, I… I don’t know why I’m apologising. Whoever’s listening? Which would imply I don’t plan to stick around. Well, that’s just not true! I’m not planning anything. No one’s gonna ‘find’ this ‘cause I’m not leaving it anywhere. So, I’m talking to myself. Yep.

[hum]

GRIAN: Feels like I’m being watched, still. I can’t tell if the moon’s big or if I’m actually insane. And I don’t think my comms getting better anytime soon. Great. Just great.

[sigh]

GRIAN: I couldn’t even talk to Cub, in the end. Oh, yeah, he messaged me. It looked all like scratches and—and static. I dunno. At least he’s maybe alive?

[tapping] [paper shuffling]

GRIAN: Not really sure if this is making me more or less sane. I’ll stick to it, for the time being.

[birds singing, distant]

GRIAN: I miss Mumbo.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> MUMBO ]

GRIAN: r u ok. pls answer

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[ERROR: MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

ERROR: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST]

[COMM: MESSAGE HISTORY

>> INPUT USER >> MUMBO

ERROR: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST]

[COMM: PRESSURE DETECTED, PLEASE REMOVE PRESSURE SOURCE]

[COMM: PRESSURE DETECTED, PLEASE REMOVE PRESSURE SOURCE]

[COMM: PRESSURE DETECTED, PLEASE REMOVE PRESSURE SOURCE]

[WARNING: CRITICAL PRESSURE DETECTED]

[WARNING: CRITICAL PRESSURE DETECTED]

[COMM: EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: T#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

TANGO: Log five. Three blocks left, two blocks down. Stairs.

[footsteps]

TANGO: Eight stairs down, three across. Fantastic. Floor—floor, five blocks forward, uh, redstone line, I think… five blocks forward.

[footsteps] [sizzle]

TANGO: AH! … Redstone torch. Five blocks along—

ZEDAPH: TANGO?

TANGO: Zed?

ZEDAPH: There you are! I knew—I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I’d find you down here.

TANGO: How… the comms, they’re broken. It’s a labyrinth down here, man. I was just messing with the redstone when BANG! So, what, reset?

ZEDAPH: Don’t you worry, I’ll get us both out of here no problem. No problem at all.

TANGO: I can’t see anything, my guy…

ZEDAPH: Neither can I. Trust you to go and lock yourself in the most complicated build on the server.

TANGO: Oh, I don’t think…

ZEDAPH: Never fear, Zed is here! It’s like—KABOOSH—we’ll be out in no time.

TANGO: But—how? Can you see?

ZEDAPH: Nope! It’s all stars and void for me too. I think Etho can see? I dunno, I stopped paying attention halfway through the meeting.

TANGO: You had a meeting without me?

ZEDAPH: You’re buried under a pile of mazes.

TANGO: The Citadel. Or—wait—Decked Out.

ZEDAPH: Uhuh. It’s a mess. Come on.

TANGO: Wait, how are you navigating?

ZEDAPH: See that? That’s what I like to call an informed decision.

TANGO: That’s wool. Oh.

ZEDAPH: I won’t miss it. We’re like—uh—Hansel and Gretel?

TANGO: Don’t they die at the end or something?

ZEDAPH: Well, whatever, just follow me. Impy’s waiting at the surface.

TANGO: Lead the way.

[footsteps] [door opening]

TANGO: What’s wrong?

ZEDAPH: Hm?

TANGO: You’re quiet.

ZEDAPH: Just thinkin’.

TANGO: Dangerous. Got a Zedvancement on the mind?

ZEDAPH: No, no. This stuff is bonkers, but it’s kind of giving me a headache.

TANGO: Right.

[silence]

ZEDAPH: I think Cub knew.

TANGO: What?

ZEDAPH: Me and Cub, we were researching this thing, right? This— [static]

TANGO: Woah. Really?

ZEDAPH: I got proof, too. And, uh, he told me… something bad was going to happen. I thought, well, tell me when, don’t leave me hanging! He said he’d let me know and I could warn everyone.

TANGO: But he didn’t.

ZEDAPH: He just… left.

TANGO: Maybe he didn’t know. Like, it’s a coincidence.

ZEDAPH: I hope so.

[silence]

ZEDAPH: Here we are!

IMPULSE: Took you two long enough.

[laughter]

IMPULSE: Good to see you, Tango. Hey, look, we got the band back together.

TANGO: Wow, so everything’s like this?

IMPULSE: Sure is.

TANGO: It’s pretty cool looking, I’ll give it that.

ZEDAPH: Let’s get to spawn. Xisuma’s been all worried about you.

IMPULSE: And Hypno and Wels.

ZEDAPH: You know them. They’ll show up.

[footsteps]

TANGO: Are you good?

IMPULSE: Who, me? Yeah. I just miss Pearl and Gem, y’know? It’s kind of scary, not knowing.

TANGO: Oh…

IMPULSE: But hey, if I figure out how to harvest this void material, I can at least get some lucrative investments going for when they come home!

TANGO: Pretty sure that’s impossi—

[whistle]

ZEDAPH: Hurry up!

TANGO: Yeah, yeah. I’ll just—oh, look, I forgot to turn this off.

ZEDAPH: Brilliant work, team—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: This is Xisuma, again, making a record regarding…

BDUBS: MOON WEIRD.

XISUMA: Moon weird. Is… is that really the most appropriate name?

ETHO: Yep.

BDUBS: See?

XISUMA: Okay, moon’s weird. Etho, could you elaborate, for the record?

ETHO: Moon’s weird. Uh, no, seriously. It’s not normal. There’s something, like, it looks like a line? Going across the moon?

BDUBS: AGH! I’m getting’ the heebie jeebies already!

XISUMA: Yes. This… line. Is it moving? Is the moon moving?

ETHO: Nope.

XISUMA: So it’s just a line on the moon?

BDUBS: It’s still spooky, right?

XISUMA: We can’t see it, so no, not really.

BDUBS: THAT’S WORSE.

ETHO: Calm down. It’s probably nothing.

XISUMA: Famous last words.

BDUBS: Oh, hey, Xisuma, I was gonna ask.

XISUMA: Hm?

BDUBS: Wait, is this rude? Should I just ignore—

XISUMA: Bdubs.

BDUBS: YES! Your mask.

XISUMA: Air filter.

BDUBS: It’s… gone.

ETHO: Bdubs. Observant as always.

XISUMA: It’s funny, actually. I’ve not needed the filter since the reset.

ETHO: We’re walking in thinner air… now that’s freaky.

XISUMA: I’ve been meaning to look into it. I think we’re done here.

BDUBS: If you say so.

ETHO: We’re free to go?

XISUMA: Keep me updated on the moon.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> SERVER DETAILS

>> BIOME DETAILS

>> AIR DENSITY: OVERWORLD VOID

>> OVERWORLD VOID >> CLARIFY

ERROR: COULD NOT CLARIFY]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM MUMBO ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE Z X BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

PEARL: Mumbo, hello there.

MUMBO: Oh, now she recognises me. Of course. Why not?

PEARL: Uh, hello?

MUMBO: Sorry, just fretting over nothing. How are you?

PEARL: Bad, now that y’mention it.

MUMBO: You mentioned before that you weren’t on Hermitcraft. Could you tell me which season you were last—

PEARL: Oh! You were that fella.

MUMBO: Well, yes.

PEARL: Oi! Why didn’t you say so?

MUMBO: I doubt you would’ve heard, regardless. The comms are doing something strange to our voices. If you didn’t know who I was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you.

PEARL: What? What’s that mean?

MUMBO: Would you answer my question?

PEARL: I’m not on Hermitcraft.

MUMBO: I know that now.

PEARL: Mumbo, y’know we’re on season eight.

MUMBO: Alright, see, problem with that is—

PEARL: Oh come on, you can’t be serious. We’ve been on eight for over a year.

MUMBO: See, that’s where you’re really tripping me up, because…

PEARL: Yes?

MUMBO: [static]

PEARL: Didn’t quite catch ya there.

MUMBO: Ugh, this is so—sorry, it’s just frustrating. My new conclusion is that we can’t communicate information about— [static]

PEARL: About… what?

MUMBO: See? Even the knowledge itself is—

PEARL: Did you take a lot of chorus fruit before calling me, or something?

MUMBO: No! No, we’re just—how’s this… uh… oh, I don’t know. I’m… not your Mumbo. Did that get through?

PEARL: Um, yes? What d’you mean?

MUMBO: I don’t know how else I can… listen, whoever else called you, they’re part of [static]. Ah, no, that won’t work. They’re not your people, they aren’t… they don’t match up you. I don’t know what you did, but my people and your people must be all muddled up.

PEARL: You and Grian both mentioned the sky. What’s that about?

MUMBO: Don’t—don’t worry about it. We were just worried. Uh…

PEARL: So, I don’t know if I’m understanding properly, but… my people are—

MUMBO: Somewhere else. Bad, we think. Sorry?

PEARL: Ah. And where am I?

MUMBO: That, I don’t know. But it’s not one of ours.

PEARL: You’re a strange lot, then, aren’t you?

MUMBO: We prefer— [static]

[laughter]

MUMBO: What?

PEARL: Nothing, nothing. What am I meant to do?

MUMBO: You’ll have to figure that one out, I’m afraid.

PEARL: Oh, well, fat lotta good you are.

MUMBO: I have to go, the c— [static]

PEARL: Bye-bye, weird Mumbo.

[static]

PEARL: Should… I hang up?

[static]

PEARL: I’m gonna hang up.

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: WORLD DETAILS

>> WORLD SCANS

>> FULL WORLD SCAN >> YES]

[WARNING: DO NOT SWITCH OFF COMM WHILE SCAN IS IN PROGRESS]

[SCANNING…

SCAN COMPLETE]

[SCAN DETAILS:

>> PLAYER INFORMATION

>> ACTIVE PLAYERS

>> SCANNING ACTIVE PLAYERS

>> PLAYERS FOUND: 7]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: C#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

CUB: It’s a miracle I had enough for this.

[clinking of glass]

CUB: If I survive—ah, I know I will—this’ll be the last time. For a while.

[liquid pouring]

CUB: Ren and Scar aren’t here and False… well, that’s a lost cause. And she spilt the last one. My luck, right?

[glass set down]

CUB: Well, here goes.

[inhale] [drinking]

CUB: Uagh.

[cough]

CUB: Never gets better, does it?

[sigh]

CUB: Feels fine. Glad I didn’t die.

[silence]

CUB: My research is going great. That’s what we call a lie. I miss Cleo. Scar. Zed. Ugh.

[glass clinking] [footsteps]

CUB: Nope, that got depressing. What we’re gonna do, is keep it up. Shoot, I’m gonna do what I came here to do.

[footsteps, closer]

CUB: This has been Cub, zero-zero-five, testing formula oh-dash-six. Test successful! Still kickin’, like a champ.

[laugh]

CUB: Bye.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: RECORDING SAVED]

[COMM: SEND RECORDING

SEND TO >> UNKNOWN USER

SENDING…

RECORDING SENT]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

[crackling]

GRIAN: Oh, oh, is it working? Is it— [static]

GRIAN: Now, hopefully this is picking something up. I got a bit carried away and, uh, may have crushed my comm with an anvil. But I’m a genius, so I fixed it.

[crackling] [static]

GRIAN: I think. If Mumbo were here…

[button pressed]

GRIAN: He’d fix it better. But I’m good enough. Anyway, I’m glad it’s working—if it is—‘cause some stuff happened while I was busy. And I don’t think… I mean, it’s probably not great.

[beep]

GRIAN: That’s not a good sound. Uh, sorry if it breaks, I guess? Wait, who am I apologising too? I’ve been through this a dozen times! No one’s finding this because I’m not leaving it. I’m not going anywhere!

[static]

GRIAN: It’s scary, obviously. Like, I woke up this morning and three of my flight feathers were—well, they were gone. As if someone took them. But this is a single-player world, so that’s kind of impossible. My single-player world. The only thing that could get through would be—

[crackling] [footsteps]

GRIAN: I left it open to friends, didn’t I? Ugh! Stupid, stupid Grian. Stupid!

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> WORLD DETAILS

>> PRIVACY

>> OPEN WORLD

>> OPEN WORLD TO FRIENDS >> NO]

GRIAN: Okay. Okay, nice. Flying’s all weird now, funnily enough. It’s so rude, to do that to a guy. I don’t understand why something would even want those feathers. They’re not special. Or at least… well, no one knows—it doesn’t matter. They’re not special. I’m not special. How could anyone know? Calm down. No one knows.

[sigh]

GRIAN: I might not be alone. Uh, that’s, like, obvious, but until now I sorta brushed it off. The whole being-watched thing? I thought—okay, this sounds crazy again—I thought it was the moon. But it’s not.

[button pressed] [button pressed]

GRIAN: There’s something—someone—else here with me. Because of course there is. That’s just my luck, isn’t it? And—

[rustling]

GRIAN: A—and there’s something… outside? Hold on…

[clank] [static]

[footsteps, moving away] [door opens]

[muffled talking] [shouting]

[static]

[crackling]

[silence]

[door opens]

[footsteps]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: M#005]

[COMM: OPEN INTERFACE]

[>> MAKE A CALL

CALL >> SCAR ]

[CALLING SCAR ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE [ ] BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

[COMM: SCAR ACCEPTED YOUR CALL]

SCAR: Well hello there.

MUMBO: We have a problem.

SCAR: And you say I interfere too much.

MUMBO: I never said such a thing.

SCAR: Oh, no, my bad. You say zero-zero-two interferes too much.

MUMBO: He does. He nearly destroyed the— [static]

SCAR: That’s still really annoying, y’know.

MUMBO: I am aware.

SCAR: So, have we made sense of it yet? Good ol’ Mumbo figuring things out?

MUMBO: You know I haven’t. I—I honestly have no idea.

SCAR: You made contact, though, didn’t you?

MUMBO: So did—so did he.

SCAR: Y’can’t blame him. He doesn’t know what he’s doin’.

MUMBO: P-zero-zero-three knows… a bit more than I intended.

SCAR: Enough to mess with things?

MUMBO: Maybe. Look, I’m sorry—

SCAR: No, no, we all make mistakes.

MUMBO: I just thought she was on Hermitcraft. I wanted to warn her. You know what happened to zero-zero-four.

SCAR: She wasn’t on Hermitcraft?

MUMBO: No, actually, I don’t know where she was.

SCAR: Huh.

MUMBO: Huh?

SCAR: Nothing, nothing.

MUMBO: Besides, she said season eight had been going for over a year. No… you know. So, I suppose contacting her was pointless.

SCAR: Did she say she could leave wherever she was?

MUMBO: No, why?

SCAR: There’s a running theme I wanna look into. Don’t worry!

MUMBO: You fill me with confidence.

SCAR: You bet’cha.

MUMBO: Cub’s been asking after you again. He needs— [static]

SCAR: It’s not my fault he went and— [static]

MUMBO: Oh, you’re right, this is quite annoying.

SCAR: I’ll come visit later.

MUMBO: Later? Why not now?

[silence]

MUMBO: Scar, no.

SCAR: You get to see him, why can’t I?

MUMBO: Because I won’t let him go.

SCAR: I’ll be careful.

MUMBO: Fine. Fine, go.

SCAR: I’m not stupid.

MUMBO: It’s funny. In every instance, you always risk it all for him.

SCAR: Hey! You’re no better, mister.

[weak laughter]

MUMBO: I know. But I don’t let it become me.

SCAR: I’ll always put him before all this, y’know?

MUMBO: Yes.

SCAR: Always.

MUMBO: I wish you wouldn’t. Saves us a lot of trouble if you didn’t.

SCAR: Well, I sure can’t control myself, can I?

MUMBO: S’pose not. You’re off, then?

SCAR: See you soon.

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: J#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

JOE: Howdy y'all. Joe Hills here recording as I always do in Nashville, Tennessee.

CLEO: Not this again.

JOE: Might as well! Nothin’ better to do.

CLEO: Literally no one hears those records. You understand that, right?

JOE: One day, way off in the future, you’re gonna be so wrong.

[laughter]

CLEO: What d’you make of the ‘moon weird’ thing, then?

JOE: Oh, now you ask, it’s absolutely spellin’ our doom.

CLEO: Uhuh. It’d be nice if Etho was a little more helpful.

JOE: I’m sure he’s tryin’ his best.

CLEO: Etho’s best is like everyone else’s medium.

JOE: So mean!

[footsteps]

ETHO: Yeah, Cleo, why you gotta be mean to me?

CLEO: Oh, god.

BDUBS: Are we making a Joe Hills recording?

CLEO: Why does it always have to be you two?

JOE: We sure are!

ETHO: Do you want me to talk about the moon?

BDUBS: Please don’t.

JOE: Be my guest.

CLEO: Or get lost. Either or.

ETHO: So there’s this line—

BDUBS: Noooo.

ETHO: Line on the moon. Spooky! Ah!

JOE: Wow. Well, I for one intend to get outta this situation as soon as physically possible.

CLEO: Hang on. What kind of line?

ETHO: It’s a line.

CLEO: Can you at least be less vague?

BDUBS: Be vague. I love vague Etho.

ETHO: Uh, I… it’s sort of… grey? Maybe it’s not like a line, more like a… dent? A crack?

BDUBS: Shut up shut up shut up!

CLEO: How far across does the line go?

ETHO: All around, it’s, uh, splitting it horizontally?

JOE: There we have it folks.

CLEO: Who are you talking to?

JOE: I’ll have you know, Cleo, plenty of people tune in to my voice every day.

CLEO: Okay then.

ETHO: I wish I couldn’t see, like you guys.

BDUBS: Agh.

ETHO: It’s real freaky. The moon. I’m waiting for it to just explode or something. Pew!

CLEO: Great. Thank you so much for that, Etho. Now leave us alone.

JOE: Aw, no.

ETHO: We should go. I heard they found Tango.

JOE: Oh, for real?

BDUBS: Yes, yes. Let’s go. I’m TIRED.

ETHO: Ah, whatever you say.

[footsteps]

CLEO: I feel better already.

JOE: Cut ‘em some slack.

CLEO: Sorry. I think I get caught up in the bit, sometimes.

JOE: That’d never happen to me.

[silence]

JOE: Until next time y'all, this is Joe Hills from Nashville, Tennessee... keep adventuring!

CLEO: Seriously, who is listening to th—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: D#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

DOC: Alright, it’s going.

REN: Just for the others, right?

DOC: Right.

REN: Okay.

[silence]

REN: What did I do?

DOC: Ah, ran around and killed things?

REN: My dude, I’m fully aware of that. I meant—uh, you know.

DOC: Yes, you hurt people. But everyone is okay.

REN: Why did it happen?

DOC: We thought… because it’s always night time, yes?

REN: The full moon.

DOC: But then, the others.

REN: Wait, what? Dude, what about the others?

DOC: You weren’t the only one who… ah, changed.

REN: What? Who?

DOC: Most of us. You took the longest to come back.

REN: Why can’t I remember what… actually happened? I mean, where are we?

DOC: Hermitcraft—

REN: Okay, I knew that.

DOC: There have been issues. Memory problems. Everyone started taking records.

REN: Oh.

DOC: The basic thing, is the server reset.

REN: We can’t leave, I remember.

DOC: Only a few hermits were locked out. No progress on it so far.

[silence]

DOC: It’s stuck in night. Dark. But that’s it. And the transformings. The memory things.

REN: Oh, Bdubs has gotta hate this.

[laughter]

DOC: He does.

REN: Thanks for the refresher, my dude.

[footsteps] [chair scraping]

DOC: I—I have to stay with you.

REN: Huh?

DOC: In case you…

REN: I get it.

DOC: Sorry.

REN: Don’t be.

DOC: I’m not angry.

[silence]

REN: I know.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: D#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

DOC: Uhh. Quick update?

REN: I dunno, my dude. This might be a long update.

DOC: So, we need a… hand. Was that good?

REN: A bit too soon.

DOC: You laughed.

REN: No way, dude.

DOC: Ah, for starters, we have to make it clear…

REN: I’m doing fine.

DOC: He isn’t actively dying.

REN: Literally no pain.

DOC: Which is weird.

REN: It could be weirder!

DOC: Yes, yes, why not? Let us just watch this server get worse overnight! All hell breaking loose!

REN: It’s always night.

DOC: You know what I meant.

[laughter]

DOC: Uh, anyway.

REN: I seem to have lost a hand.

DOC: He woke up, and it’s gone.

REN: It isn’t bleeding or anything bad. That’s a Ren-diggity-dog promise.

DOC: I can find one of my old arms. Rewire it, and so on. For now.

REN: Yes, I’m going to be A-okay.

DOC: But, you know, it is a worry.

REN: We thought you’d wanna know.

DOC: And that’s it.

REN: I haven’t felt very wolf-y.

DOC: A month was enough.

REN: I guess so.

DOC: Talk to you later, about this.

REN: Do I have a choice in that?

DOC: Nope.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: RECORDING SAVED]

[COMM: SEND RECORDING

SEND TO >> XISUMA

SENDING…

RECORDING SENT]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: This is Xisuma, regarding the whereabouts of Tango. Glad to say he’s back.

TANGO: Aw, shucks, you guys care about me.

ZEDAPH: Can we put him back?

TANGO: Hey!

IMPULSE: Zed caught him talking to himself, X. He might need to see someone.

XISUMA: Right. So nothing’s changed?

TANGO: I was recording my surroundings, thank you.

[laughter]

XISUMA: Any updates on Hypno or Wels?

IMPULSE: We actually ran into them on the way back.

XISUMA: Oh?

IMPULSE: Uhuh. Explained the situation, gave them a jumpscare, y’know.

XISUMA: Of course.

TANGO: I think they were pretty stoked to see us.

ZEDAPH: I completely disagree.

XISUMA: Sorry, are you doing a bit?

TANGO: It’s a Zedvancement.

ZEDAPH: Utterly incorrect, and quite frankly defamatory.

IMPULSE: Get it?

XISUMA: I see.

IMPULSE: Yeah, well, I’ve had to deal with it the whole way here.

XISUMA: Ah. I don’t really pity you.

IMPULSE: Oh, you got any updates on the missing hermits?

XISUMA: I’m afraid not.

IMPULSE: No, no, it’s fine. I’m just…

XISUMA: Worried?

IMPULSE: Yeah.

TANGO: Hey, they’ll be okay. You know th—

ETHO: HEY XISUMA!

[footsteps]

XISUMA: Oh no.

BDUBS: DON’T LET HIM TALK, X. HE’S FULL OF L—lies.

XISUMA: What.

ETHO: Oh, hi Tango, good to see ya.

TANGO: Hi?

BDUBS: Whatever you do, don’t ask about the moon.

TANGO: What’s wrong with the moon?

BDUBS: NO! I said don’t ask!

ETHO: Moon’s weird. X, I have to tell you. It’s not a line.

XISUMA: Wait, what? What is it, then? Has it changed?

ETHO: Huh? Oh, no. It’s a crack, not a line.

[silence]

XISUMA: That’s it?

TANGO: This seems important.

ZEDAPH: It isn’t.

XISUMA: Um, thank you for letting me know, Etho.

ETHO: You’re welcome.

XISUMA: Wow. This has been running for way too long.

IMPULSE: Bye, X’s comm.

XISUMA: What? Ah, never mind.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

KERALIS: —spooked you!

GRIAN: Hah, yeah, you’re really… different like this.

KERALIS: Oh, Brian, you’re so silly!

GRIAN: I’m not the one with the… void stuff.

KERALIS: Yes! Yes, this is my single survival look. Aren’t I pretty!

GRIAN: That’s one way of putting it.

KERALIS: Mmmmkay. You haven’t seen any lovelies around, have you?

GRIAN: I really hoped I was alone, actually. Y’know, on my own single-player world, and all.

KERALIS: No, no, no, you’re not alone. Did you take a lookie at your comm?

GRIAN: What? Wait—oh, this is recording. Stupid—sorry, I broke it earlier—let me just—

KERALIS: No! Something fun might happen!

GRIAN: Like what, it explodes?

KERALIS: Maybe! I don’t k-now.

GRIAN: Alright, fine. Give me a minute.

[COMM: WORLD DETAILS

>> WORLD SCANS

>> FULL WORLD SCAN >> YES]

[WARNING: DO NOT SWITCH OFF COMM WHILE SCAN IS IN PROGRESS]

[SCANNING…

SCAN COMPLETE]

[SCAN DETAILS:

>> PLAYER INFORMATION

>> ACTIVE PLAYERS

>> SCANNING ACTIVE PLAYERS

>> PLAYERS FOUND: 7]

GRIAN: Oh.

KERALIS: See!

GRIAN: So, whatever took my feathers…

KERALIS: Might be a player! Isn’t that exciting?

GRIAN: I’m more riding on the ‘generally terrified’ train.

KERALIS: I wonder if Shashwammy’s here… I wanna see his sweet face!

GRIAN: Huh…

[beep]

GRIAN: Okay, okay, I’m turning this thing off. It’s definitely not meant to be warm like that.

KERALIS: Awh.

[laugh]

GRIAN: I’m actually so glad you’re here, though, K. I was going completely mad on my own.

KERALIS: You’re so sweet, Brian!

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[SCAN DETAILS:

>> PLAYER INFORMATION

>> ACTIVE PLAYERS

>> SCANNING ACTIVE PLAYERS

>> PLAYERS FOUND: 7]

[COMM: REACHING HIGH TEMPERATURES, PLEASE POWER OFF]

[COMM: REACHING HIGH TEMPERATURES, PLEASE POWER OFF]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#005]

[COMM: RECORDING IN PROGRESS, DO NOT SWITCH COMM OFF]

[COMM: THIS RECORDING IS PROTECTED BY THE ATSC. THE CONTENTS OF THIS RECORD ARE CONFIDENTIAL AND CLASSIFIED. DO NOT SHARE THE CONTENTS OF THIS RECORD]

[COMM: RECORD TAKEN AT 6.15 PM, DATE GIVEN, WEATHER CONDITIONS: CLOUD, HUMIDITY: NORMAL, AIR PRESSURE: NORMAL, TEMPERATURE: 25 CELSIUS, STATE OF CAPTIVE: DOCILE]

[COMM: PROCEED WITH CAUTION]

SCAR: Hey.

[silence]

SCAR: Oh, man, don’t be like that.

[silence]

SCAR: Mumbo said I could visit you! Isn’t that nice? I—I’ll go if you want. I thought… ah, never mind.

[silence]

[soft thud]

SCAR: Don’t do that! Don’t do that, you’ll get hurt.

[silence] [crackling]

SCAR: If you—would you stop watching me?

[crackling] [static]

SCAR: I said stop that!

[silence]

SCAR: Look, if we can’t talk like civilised men—

GRIAN: Yeah, because this is really civilised.

SCAR: Ah, he talks!

GRIAN: Let me go.

SCAR: Well, ah. You know I can’t do that, G.

GRIAN: Let me go, now.

[static] [crackling]

[heavy breathing]

SCAR: Stop! Stop, stop it. You’re—you’re such a—a—

GRIAN: Monster?

SCAR: I’ll have you know that word didn’t even cross my mind.

GRIAN: ‘Course not.

SCAR: I only wanted to see you.

GRIAN: Great, you’ve seen me. Leave.

SCAR: I’m sorry.

GRIAN: Hah! You’ll never be sorry.

[silence]

[crackling]

SCAR: Does—uh, does it hurt?

GRIAN: What?

SCAR: Looks painful.

GRIAN: You get used to it.

[soft thud] [wind blows]

SCAR: Don’t—stop doing that. Your wings.

GRIAN: Oh, this?

[soft thud] [soft thud] [wind blows]

SCAR: Stop! You’re gonna get hurt.

GRIAN: Oh, give over! You probably like it.

SCAR: No! No, of course I don’t!

GRIAN: Then why’d you hurt me?

SCAR: I didn’t mean—

GRIAN: Yes you did. You knew what would happen.

SCAR: I—

GRIAN: And you lured me back anyway.

SCAR: Please—

GRIAN: ‘Oh, Grian, you must come back to the server! I have something so cool to show you!’ Yeah, right. And Cub, oh of course, he’d been so smug about it. What’s he up to, these days? Predict any more disasters?

[silence]

SCAR: They… took away your comm.

GRIAN: Apparently, it’s against the rules to help a friend.

SCAR: It—you called Pearl—P-zero-zero-three. We said, uh, we said you couldn’t do that.

GRIAN: It’s fine. I’m not a player anymore, so, really, I don’t need a comm. Have I got that right?

SCAR: You’re still a—

GRIAN: Don’t lie.

[silence]

GRIAN: S-two, did he get me—the other me—into double-oh-one? With all his little manipulation tactics?

SCAR: No. I—he was too late.

GRIAN: Good.

SCAR: And they’ll—it’ll be like ‘four. Can’t you see that, Grian? He was trying to save them.

GRIAN: They’re smart. They’ll figure it out.

SCAR: Really? You’d let us all—

GRIAN: Yes.

[silence] [crackling]

SCAR: We could find another [static]. An evil one! A big mean one, who’d totally deserve it—

GRIAN: Oh, sure, go grab Martyn and we’ll be set!

SCAR: You know I don’t mean him.

GRIAN: Do I? Do I really? I’m sure you’re going to tell me everything else I know, too. Like, hey, how you ‘love me’, that’ll be next, won’t it?

[silence]

GRIAN: Guess not.

SCAR: We could still save the others. The—everything’s collapsing. All of it, all folding in on itself. But if you stay with me, we can—

GRIAN: I won’t let you.

SCAR: You can’t stop us.

[silence] [crackling]

[AUDIO DISTORTED]

[static]

GRIAN: I will.

SCAR: S—stop.

GRIAN: Why should I?

SCAR: You’re scaring me, Grian. Come on.

GRIAN: You think I wasn’t scared?

SCAR: I didn’t know! I wanna let you go, so badly, please, you’ve gotta believe me—

GRIAN: Leave.

[crackling]

SCAR: I…

GRIAN: Tell Mumbo to come see me, later.

SCAR: But… why?

[silence]

GRIAN: It’s nice to have company.

SCAR: Oh. Okay then.

[silence]

SCAR: Bye.

[footsteps]

[COMM: LIFE SIGNALS UNDETECTED]

[COMM: WEATHER CONDITIONS: CLOUD, HUMIDITY: NORMAL, AIR PRESSURE: HIGH, TEMPERATURE: 9 CELSIUS, STATE OF CAPTIVE: ACCELERATED HEART RATE]

[COMM: RECORDING COMPLETE, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: SCANNING FOR PLAYERS.

[WARNING: DO NOT SWITCH OFF COMM WHILE SCAN IS IN PROGRESS]

[SCANNING 500 BLOCK RADIUS…

SCAN COMPLETE]

[SCAN DETAILS:

>> PLAYERS FOUND: 1]

[COMM: SYSTEM SETTINGS

>> AUDIO RECORDS

>> AUTOMATIC RECORDING

>> TURN ON AUTOMATIC RECORDING: YES

>> RECORDING ACTIVATION: WHEN VOICES HEARD]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION ON, SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

UNKNOWN USER: Pearl?

PEARL: Gem! Over here!

[COMM: AUTOMATIC VOICE MATCHING…

PLAYER FOUND: GEMINITAY ]

GEM: Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one here!

PEARL: No, no! There’s loads of folks.

GEM: Really? Who?

PEARL: Uhhh… I have no clue.

GEM: Where are we? I was trying to get into Hermitcraft and…

PEARL: Again, no idea.

GEM: Oh!

PEARL: Sorry. There’s, like, five other people ‘round the place, apparently.

GEM: Other hermits?

PEARL: I hope so.

GEM: You’re a mess.

PEARL: Ah, am I? I haven’t exactly looked in a mirror for a while.

GEM: You’re all muddy and exhausted!

PEARL: So no difference, then, right?

[laughter]

GEM: I’m glad I found you!

PEARL: I’ll have you know I found you.

GEM: Sure, sure, believe that.

[footsteps] [leaves crunching]

PEARL: Has anyone called you?

GEM: Wh—no? My comm’s all dead.

PEARL: Huh.

GEM: Have—did someone call you?

PEARL: What? Oh, uh, no, no.

GEM: Okay, then.

PEARL: Oh yeah, my comm’s totally—

[screeching]

GEM: Oh goodness! What was that?

PEARL: Maybe a parrot? We’re near a jungle, I think?

GEM: There’s no way that’s what you think a parrot sounds like.

PEARL: Spend enough time around ‘em, don’t I?

GEM: That doesn’t really count.

[screeching] [leaves rustling]

PEARL: Y’know. We should get outta here.

GEM: Uhuh.

[footsteps] [gravel crunching]

[breathing]

PEARL: Have y’seen anything weird so far? Like, aside from whatever that was?

GEM: Nope—

[screeching]

PEARL: Oh, gosh!

GEM: What is that?

PEARL: I don’t wanna find out!

[footsteps running]

[leaves crunching]

[heavy thud]

PEARL: My comm!

GEM: Leave it, leave it! Let’s go!

PEARL: But—

[screeching]

GEM: Come on!

[footsteps fade]

[soft thud]

[gravel crunching]

[tapping]

[trill] [chirp]

[wind blows] [soft thud]

[silence]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION OFF, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: J#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

ETHO: This… is kind of dumb.

CLEO: I’ll agree with you, there.

SCAR: No, come on, it’s nice!

JOE: Wow, y’all really are like a family.

CLEO: Shut up.

ETHO: Shu—what she said.

BDUBS: We may not be a real family, but it was fun.

ETHO: I’ll be happy if you never call me ‘dad’ again.

CLEO: Uhuh. Yeah.

BDUBS: Don’t worry, I’m not into tha—

JOE: I’m recordin’!

BDUBS: SERIOUSLY?

CLEO: Oh, give me strength.

SCAR: Oho! A Joe Hills recording, and I get to be in it?

JOE: You certainly do, my friend.

ETHO: What are we even doing out here?

JOE: Stargazin’.

ETHO: You—this is worse than I thought.

[footsteps]

MUMBO: Hello? Sorry I’m late, it is genuinely impossible to navigate like this.

SCAR: Well good evening, my good sir—

CLEO: Don’t do that.

JOE: Howdy!

MUMBO: Why are we here, exactly?

ETHO: Stargazing.

MUMBO: Wh—I—What?

CLEO: Yep.

JOE: It’s a nice night! As I’m led to believe.

MUMBO: Okay, sure.

SCAR: B, you okay, man?

BDUBS: Huh? Oh, yeah.

SCAR: You’re weirdly quiet.

BDUBS: I can be quiet when I want to.

CLEO: I think we’ll agree to disagree on that one.

BDUBS: HEY.

CLEO: Case in point.

BDUBS: I’m just not used to staying up so late, is all.

ETHO: You can’t see what time it is.

BDUBS: I can feel it, in my MIND’S EYE.

ETHO: Do you have a mind?

JOE: Y’all, you’re kinda defeatin’ the purpose of the stargazin’ thing.

MUMBO: I still don’t think I understand.

CLEO: Let’s all be quiet for five minutes, okay?

ETHO: Sure. Is this meant to be relaxing?

JOE: Yes indeed.

[silence]

[insects chirping, distant]

ETHO: Oh, jeez.

BDUBS: ETHO! You ruined the moment!

ETHO: Ah, that’s not good.

CLEO: What is it?

ETHO: Um, moon weird, two. Moon… weirder?

BDUBS: Oh no. No.

ETHO: The, uh, line’s got bigger.

MUMBO: Bigger?

ETHO: Wider? There’s more.

CLEO: Why couldn’t somebody helpful get the gift of sight?

ETHO: Hey, I’d like to see you try.

CLEO: So would I.

ETHO: I’ll have you know it’s very difficult to describe things.

CLEO: That is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard.

BDUBS: Hey, can we stop—

JOE: Okayyy, alright, hah, seems like things aren’t goin’ great right now.

SCAR: Oh, are you signing off?

JOE: Uhuh.

ETHO: Why’d you even start recording?

CLEO: Focus on the moon, oh my god.

JOE: Hah, sorry about them.

MUMBO: I’ve always wondered. Who are you talking to?

CLEO: Himself—no, seriously, Etho, can you be more specific?

BDUBS: Or don’t. Please don’t—

JOE: Yeah, this was Joe Hills, um, from Nashville, Tennessee... keep adventuring… unless the moon gets weird! Bye.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#005]

[COMM: RECORDING IN PROGRESS, DO NOT SWITCH COMM OFF]

[COMM: THIS RECORDING IS PROTECTED BY THE ATSC. THE CONTENTS OF THIS RECORD ARE CONFIDENTIAL AND CLASSIFIED. DO NOT SHARE THE CONTENTS OF THIS RECORD]

[COMM: RECORD TAKEN AT 7.24 AM, DATE GIVEN, WEATHER CONDITIONS: SUN, HUMIDITY: NORMAL, AIR PRESSURE: NORMAL, TEMPERATURE: 16 CELSIUS, STATE OF CAPTIVE: HEART RATE ACCELERATED]

[COMM: PROCEED WITH CAUTION]

MUMBO: You wanted to see me?

[silence]

MUMBO: Alright, I don’t have time for this.

[silence]

GRIAN: I shouldn’t have told you.

MUMBO: You’re speaking today, then.

GRIAN: They said it had to be a secret. They were right.

[silence]

GRIAN: They’re never right.

MUMBO: Are you going to talk in riddles all day, or can we have a conversation?

GRIAN: I just want some company.

MUMBO: You don’t really seem like you want me here.

GRIAN: Of course I do, you—we’re best friends.

MUMBO: Right.

GRIAN: Aren’t we?

MUMBO: Yes.

[silence]

MUMBO: What do you want to talk about?

GRIAN: Is it a nice day outside?

MUMBO: Perfectly sunny.

GRIAN: Good, good.

MUMBO: You… called me here to talk about the weather?

GRIAN: How is everyone? Are they okay?

MUMBO: Uh… mostly.

GRIAN: How’s Pearl? I haven’t heard from her in ages.

MUMBO: She still won’t talk to me.

GRIAN: Neither would I. But how is she? Is she good?

MUMBO: She seems fine.

GRIAN: Great!

[silence]

MUMBO: Um, most of them don’t… want to visit. You can’t hold it against them—please don’t. They’re actually—they’re trying their best.

GRIAN: Seeing makes it real. I get it.

MUMBO: If there was another way—

GRIAN: I don’t wanna talk about that. Boring stuff, I mean.

MUMBO: Oh. Okay.

GRIAN: Is—how’s Cub?

MUMBO: Fine.

GRIAN: Does he want any—

MUMBO: He found some feathers. He’s fine.

GRIAN: Any new builds I should know about? Come on, I love this stuff. You know me.

MUMBO: Everyone’s… stopped.

GRIAN: Oh well isn’t that a shame! Tell ‘em to buck their ideas up and get on with it.

MUMBO: Um.

GRIAN: No point keeping the server alive if no one’s gonna use it. Buncha ungrateful—sorry, that’s so rude. I don’t mean it.

MUMBO: I’ll suggest it to the others.

GRIAN: Oh, mind you, you better keep me updated. Maybe you can take pictures. I wanna see everything they’re doing. Is my—is my base still out there?

[silence]

GRIAN: Ah, no, you didn’t take it down, did you? It wasn’t finished!

MUMBO: NO! No, it’s still there.

GRIAN: That’s nice. And how’s X? Living, I hope?

MUMBO: He’s… taking a bit longer to come ‘round to all of this.

GRIAN: Aw, he cares!

[silence] [crackling]

MUMBO: Scar informed me about what happened, yesterday.

GRIAN: I don’t wanna talk about it.

MUMBO: He’s very upset.

GRIAN: Hey, I have an itch, could you—

MUMBO: Stop it. You know I can’t touch.

GRIAN: Worth a try.

MUMBO: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to get me killed.

GRIAN: You’d respawn.

MUMBO: Not the point!

[laughter]

GRIAN: I missed you.

MUMBO: I know.

[silence] [crackling]

MUMBO: Earlier, when you said it… ‘had to be a secret’. What did you mean?

GRIAN: Well, I mean, y’know, if I hadn’t told you what I am, we wouldn’t be here.

MUMBO: No, we wouldn’t.

GRIAN: Kinda one of life’s regrets, right?

MUMBO: I’m glad you did tell me. Not—not because of this. I’m just really glad you trusted me with that information.

GRIAN: Yeah, my mistake.

[silence]

MUMBO: I should get going.

GRIAN: I’ll be here. Don’t forget to visit. Please.

MUMBO: I’ll try.

[footsteps]

GRIAN: Wait!

MUMBO: Yes?

GRIAN: Tell Scar I—I’m sorry for being mean. But I’m not sorry for what I said.

MUMBO: That’s not really an apology.

GRIAN: Neither of you deserve one, so…

MUMBO: I’ll let him know.

[footsteps]

[COMM: LIFE SIGNALS UNDETECTED]

[COMM: WEATHER CONDITIONS: SUN, HUMIDITY: NORMAL, AIR PRESSURE: NORMAL, TEMPERATURE: 29 CELSIUS, STATE OF CAPTIVE: DOCILE]

[COMM: RECORDING COMPLETE, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: D#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

SCAR: You want me to explain what?

DOC: I saw you, last week.

SCAR: Are you sure? I mean, with all the memory loss—

DOC: My memory has been fine.

SCAR: Ah, well, mine hasn’t, that’s too bad. No idea what I was doing last week.

DOC: Scar.

SCAR: Now that’s the face of a man with an anvil cannon!

[laugh]

SCAR: How’d you have the time to check on me. I thought you were too busy wranglin’ poor Ren.

DOC: I do have a life outside of him.

SCAR: Coulda fooled me!

DOC: I am getting very close to killing you.

SCAR: Ah, please don’t.

DOC: Tell me what you were doing last week. I saw you, with your comm, talking to someone. Our comms are broken.

SCAR: Oh, hah, I was… talking to myself! Yep, yes sir-ee, just classic Scar.

DOC: You—I heard you say… hm. You were talking to Grian.

SCAR: Wh-a-aat? No. You know he’s not here.

DOC: I do, which is why I want answers.

SCAR: Is the recording really necessary?

DOC: Don’t push your luck.

SCAR: Okay, okay, fine! You’re really… did I ever tell you how handsome you are—

DOC: Get on with it.

SCAR: I… so I have this friend. Um, let’s call him, uh… C.

DOC: Cub.

SCAR: Dangit.

DOC: What has Cub got to do with anything?

SCAR: I’m getting there! Well, you see, Cub had this theory, well— [static]

DOC: Impossible.

SCAR: Th—that’s what I said. But he… somehow he had proof. Something from another— [static]

[static]

SCAR: D’you get it? So, he told me, um, it’s kinda too late for us? I mean, he said this before the reset. Maybe he knew? I tried my best, but, I dunno, he was probably right. Look around.

DOC: He knew, and got out with his life. That—that—

[hiss]

SCAR: Woah! Calm down, my friend.

DOC: This doesn’t explain how you called Grian.

SCAR: That’s because it wasn’t our Grian! Cub, um, he left some research, and… I did a little snooping. Just a bit of borrowing, you understand.

DOC: Oh I understand.

SCAR: There were some notes, real bare-bones stuff. But I managed to call him. I named him ‘other-Grian’. And the first time, I was all over the place, totally scared, but I wanted to see if I could change the other-hermits’, um, outcome. Because, well, Cub thought they were behind us, in time? I dunno, it was confusing.

DOC: Scar, that… can I see these notes?

SCAR: Uh, sure. Sure, maybe.

DOC: Good.

SCAR: The notes said something about other-Grian—or any Grian—being kinda powerful, for some reason? So, I asked him to go onto the other-Hermitcraft. Maybe he could stop this happening to them.

[footsteps]

DOC: And it worked?

SCAR: No, no, he got locked out.

DOC: Ah.

SCAR: Anywho, that’s all the secrets I had left.

DOC: Maybe we can contact our own missing hermits, with this.

SCAR: I’ll take you to Cub’s lab, if you want.

DOC: That’s helpful, yes.

[silence]

SCAR: How’s Ren holding up?

DOC: Better. You?

SCAR: I’m fine.

DOC: If you’re sure.

SCAR: I—can you stop recording, now?

DOC: Oh, yes.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION ON, SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

UNKNOWN USER: —ello? Hello? Anyone out here?

[COMM: AUTOMATIC VOICE MATCHING…

PLAYER FOUND: VINTAGEBEEF ]

BEEF: Uh, anyone?

[leaves crunching]

BEEF: Is this a prank? This is—I mean, I have a bunch of stuff to do, guys…

[footsteps]

[gravel crunching]

BEEF: See, it’s this kind of frequent prankage that slows down TCG card production.

[chirp]

[footsteps]

BEEF: Okay, this isn’t funny! Hello?

[soft thud]

BEEF: Who’s there?

[footsteps]

[chirp]

[screech]

BEEF: Oh, h—hello.

[screech]

BEEF: False?

[scratching]

[heavy breathing] [screeching]

BEEF: Uh. Yeah. Bye.

[footsteps running]

[screech]

[soft thud] [soft thud]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION OFF, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: S#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: Y’know, I don’t see much point in recording these.

SCAR: Well, I mean, it’ll be helpful if we start forgetting things.

XISUMA: Oh, I doubt that’ll happen, with what you’ve done to prevent it.

SCAR: Still…

XISUMA: What do you want, then?

SCAR: Uhm, you see, I wanted to ask. What do you know about…

[crackling]

SCAR: about Watchers.

XISUMA: Of course.

SCAR: Come on, X. We need this. Anything you know, we—

XISUMA: Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t you ask the one hooked into the server core?

SCAR: We’re looking for better options, you know that, please.

[silence]

XISUMA: Give me a moment.

SCAR: Okay. No—no worries.

[silence]

XISUMA: This would be better with my comm.

SCAR: No.

XISUMA: Shouldn’t Cub be interrogating me?

SCAR: He’s… busy.

XISUMA: Hm.

[crackling]

XISUMA: We worshipped them, I think. The Watchers. From what little I remember of my home, it felt like worship, anyway.

SCAR: They’re like gods?

XISUMA: Maybe, yes. Their abilities are… definitely god-like. That’s if they’re able to access their power. If not… you know.

SCAR: They can be stopped. We got about that far, yeah.

XISUMA: Not stopped. Incapacitated.

SCAR: What…

XISUMA: Debilitated.

SCAR: Oh. Yeah. That. Um, but he—they’re not dangerous, right?

XISUMA: Extremely. I need my comm, Scar.

SCAR: I can’t.

XISUMA: I am your admin. You think I don’t want what’s best for this server?

SCAR: But you’ll—you’ll let him go.

XISUMA: Of course I will! And I’ve half a mind to ban you and your conspirators.

SCAR: See, that’s not the best sales pitch.

XISUMA: It’s not. I’m making a promise.

SCAR: Well, I don’t believe—

XISUMA: Not a promise to you.

[silence]

SCAR: What can Watchers do?

XISUMA: In normal circumstances, anything they want. I guess. They like to hop between servers, if I remember correctly. Talk to players, influence things, destroy empty worlds. Not-so-empty worlds, sometimes.

SCAR: They sound like bad guys.

XISUMA: Not… I don’t think so.

SCAR: I know Grian isn’t like the others.

XISUMA: I’m not so sure. He could be. I still can’t quite believe I had a Watcher on my server this whole time. I never bothered to check.

SCAR: Is it weird?

XISUMA: Would be if I could see him, I think.

SCAR: We can’t—

XISUMA: I’m aware, Scar.

SCAR: Is there anything else we need to know? I—I’m trying my best.

XISUMA: I think you just need to remember he’ll get out eventually. Whatever happens after that is not my problem.

SCAR: Okay.

XISUMA: At least zero-zero-four went out holding hands, hm.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

GRIAN: Oooookay, I really hope I didn’t break this thing again. Um… looks like it’s working? That’s great, that’s great. Uh…

[tapping] [crackling]

GRIAN: I kinda regret letting Keralis go off without me. I don’t think I can sleep on my own in this house, hah. Yeah. But he’s looking for other people. He didn’t just up and leave me, obviously. He’s a better person than that!

[strained laugh]

GRIAN: Still, we all have that little voice in our heads, right? Y’know, ‘what if he left and I’m alone again’, things like that. But I’m more worried about the—whatever took my feathers. If it comes back, well, I’m awake at least.

[footsteps]

GRIAN: That may or may not be worse. But I just keep thinking… why three feathers? If—if whatever it was knows what I am, like, a poacher or something, why wouldn’t it take them all? They’re rare. They can probably do a bunch of stuff that I don’t know about. I just don’t understand why three.

[sigh]

GRIAN: I guess it’s not important. The stars are still going out, which I really don’t like. It’s disturbing. Like, I’m imagining all these worlds, just disappearing, like it’s nothing. And I know they’re not really… worlds? It’d be worse if they represented, I dunno, servers, if you know what I mean. But something’s still messing with the sky, which, yeah, bad track record, so… it’s a worry.

[papers shuffling]

GRIAN: Should I tell Keralis what I am, when he comes back? I mean, I was gonna tell Mumbo, before all this started. He just… there’s something about him, y’see? Keralis is fine, too, even if he wouldn’t be my first choice. He’s trustworthy. If I’m stuck here and the stars are going out, I might as well be honest. Besides, he’s some kind of weird void… thing. He can’t judge.

[button pressed]

GRIAN: He’d definitely tell the others, though. No doubt about that. That’s if we find others.

[hum]

GRIAN: Anyway, I—

[COMM: MESSAGE FROM CUB ]

CUB: 19003 74 -9005

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

GRIAN: Okay. What. Are these coordinates?

[footsteps]

GRIAN: Sorry, I—I got a message, from Cub, but it’s not all jumbled up. Does everything have to be confusing, or is my life just like this now? Ugh. Is… is he here?

[button pressed]

GRIAN: I think I’m gonna go to… wherever these lead. Uh, I’ll sleep first, and if Keralis isn’t here in the morning, well, I guess I can leave a note.

[footsteps] [paper shuffling]

GRIAN: Whatever this is, it better give me some answers. I’m tired of not knowing anything and—and it’s making me itch. It’s making me want to Watch. Agh. No. Yuck. All the code tastes so bitter. It’s like I’m bleeding all my stress into it. That’s, like, the worst evolutionary choice ever. Thanks a lot for the downgrade, you big stupid self-righteous… whatever. It’s fine.

[crackling]

GRIAN: I just… can’t let myself be that again.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: C#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

CUB: This is test update three, on formula oh-dash-seven. Gotta say, we’re progressing at a snail’s pace here. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the feathers were easy, and—well—I had to find a different Ren, which sucked, but we got there in the end, fellas.

[glass clinks]

CUB: The real tricky part is False. There’s no way I’m catching up to her again in this world. It’s too vast and she’s too wild—the first time was a total fluke. But I can’t think of a way to reach the others without using the rest of this stuff. Shoot, that’d be kinda counter-productive.

[papers shuffling]

CUB: And even if I had the resources, there’s still the other problem. Scar won’t let me at his teeth again, and I’m not pullin’ mine. If I could make this thing without v—

[door creaks]

CUB: Hold on… Hello?

GRIAN: Cub?

CUB: Holy smokes.

[footsteps]

CUB: Uh, I’m upstairs!

[footsteps] [papers shuffling] [clanking]

GRIAN: I… oh, woah, this place is impressive.

CUB: Grian, it’s good to see you.

GRIAN: How long have you been here? Y’know, I don’t think this place understands what ‘single-player’ means.

CUB: Oh, um, I probably got here before the others. It’s been a while.

GRIAN: Wh—how come?

CUB: I think your world is kinda like a magnet for weird stuff.

GRIAN: What’ve you been doing here? Why didn’t your messages get through? Can you get to other servers? Have you seen the others?

CUB: Wow, okay, calm down.

[silence]

GRIAN: You look younger.

CUB: I… do?

GRIAN: Yes. Actually, uh, let me check something.

[silence]

GRIAN: That’s funny…

CUB: What? Listen, my man, I don’t like the way you’re stari—watching me.

GRIAN: Sorry. Habit.

CUB: Uh, cool?

GRIAN: Care to tell me what you’re up to?

CUB: Research!

GRIAN: Elaborate.

CUB: Would ya believe me if I said I’m from another— [static]

GRIAN: No, not really.

CUB: Well, shoot, I dunno what to tell you.

GRIAN: If you’re not from [static] then where’s my Cub?

CUB: Y’know, I don’t think you’d like the answer to that question.

GRIAN: Fair enough.

[crackling]

GRIAN: You know who else is here? Stuck here, I mean. Like, I know Keralis, and you, obviously.

CUB: That, I can tell you.

[papers shuffling]

CUB: In this instance, with yourself being Grian-one, we have Keralis-one, Gem-one, Beef-one, Pearl-three—which is weird, remind me to look into that—uh, and False… two? That one’s complicated, could be one or two, I wasn’t sure. It’s getting’ real dicey, out here.

GRIAN: What, so you’re saying there’s more than one of me?

CUB: Uh, that’s exactly what I’m saying, yes.

GRIAN: That’s stupid.

CUB: Alright.

GRIAN: Which Cub are you, then?

CUB: Five.

GRIAN: That’s ridiculous! If there were other [static] I would know about it!

CUB: Why’s that?

GRIAN: I—well—are those my feathers?

CUB: What?

GRIAN: Over there on the table, those are my flight feathers. You took them! Do you know how long those take to grow back? You realise I’ve been freaking out about this for days, right?

CUB: Would… would you like something to drink?

GRIAN: Are you kidding me?

CUB: I mean, it was a long trip out, for you, and, uh, your flight’s all messed up, so—

GRIAN: Thanks to you! You—

CUB: Seriously, you look dehydrated.

GRIAN: I’m fine.

CUB: Look, I even made some tea a few minutes ago. It’s good for the soul.

[silence] [footsteps]

GRIAN: You’re trying to trick me.

CUB: What?

GRIAN: I can See what you’re doing, and I don’t like it one bit. What happened? And—and you better tell me everything or I swear… I swear I’ll do something. I dunno what yet but we’ll both regret it, alright?

CUB: I told you, I’m [static]

GRIAN: Why’d you need my feathers? What do you know?

CUB: Well, shoot, Grian—

GRIAN: Don’t.

CUB: I… had a theory. If [static] exist, then, well, can’t I jump between them? Everyone thought I’d gone crazy, except, actually, your Zedaph. He’s—there’s something wrong with him, man. I can’t tell you what, but he’s on a whole ‘nother level. Helped me out a bunch.

GRIAN: That’s weird. I hadn’t heard from Zed since… I don’t know when.

CUB: Anyway, we—well, I—made this formula, you see? It, uh, well, my Grian told us something important, and turns out those feathers make a good base for weird timeline potions, right?

[silence]

CUB: We’ve been testing different formulas for a while now. Slowly building their strength, each time they get me further across the [static] and sometimes they have some pretty wild side-effects. Uh, that’s why I look different, I guess.

[laugh]

CUB: It’s crazy, but I set up shop here ‘cause I thought you’d never notice. You’re always on Hermitcraft. And then you get stuck here?

[crackling]

CUB: You good, man?

GRIAN: I’ll take that tea, now.

CUB: Oh… sure.

[footsteps] [water pouring]

[ceramic clink]

[soft thud]

GRIAN: What happened to him—me? Grian… five?

CUB: Whaddaya mean?

GRIAN: He told you what he is, and you took his feathers.

CUB: There were steps between—

GRIAN: Is he dead?

CUB: What? No way.

GRIAN: Did your Xisuma ban him?

CUB: No. Seriously, Grian, that’s what you’re worried about?

GRIAN: I guess it’s silly of me.

[sips tea]

GRIAN: D’you know what’s going on with my Hermitcraft?

CUB: I have an idea.

GRIAN: Go on, then, talk me through it.

CUB: Well, uh, every [static] progresses at a different pace, with yours and three being the slowest, we think. But whatever—I mean, I’m not saying it’s my fault, but it really could be—whatever messed with the [static] made everything kinda weird? So, uh, number four, we watched it all happen, just to see.

GRIAN: What happened?

CUB: They—there was a server reset. But, and here’s the kicker, no one could log out into another world. Everyone was stuck. Or, well, nearly everyone. You were off in your single-player.

GRIAN: That’s why—uh, keep going, please. What next?

CUB: When everyone woke up, they were in some weird… place. I dunno, things got hard to watch from there. It didn’t end well.

GRIAN: And—and that’s happening to all of them?

CUB: Every [static] yes.

GRIAN: D’you think some of them might be able to—I don’t know, and this is purely hypothetical, of course, you know me—contact the others? Aside from you?

CUB: It’s possible. I left my notes around.

GRIAN: So, when’s your Hermitcraft gonna go all haywire?

CUB: You’re taking this pretty well.

GRIAN: I’ll freak out later. Y’know, the classic ‘all my friends are dead’ thing. It hasn’t hit yet.

CUB: They’re still alive. It’s just, uh, maybe not for… long?

GRIAN: Great. Answer my question.

CUB: We, actually, found a way around it.

GRIAN: What’s that?

[silence]

GRIAN: Cub, come on. If there’s a way I can help—if I could even get into my Hermitcraft—I need to know. Now.

CUB: I… uh…

[sips tea]

GRIAN: I’m not that much of an idiot. If you know so much about me, you’d be well aware that whatever you put in this stuff isn’t gonna affect me.

CUB: I didn’t—

GRIAN: How’d you save your world, Cub?

CUB: Wait, but, you don’t understand.

GRIAN: I think I do.

CUB: Stop it. Stop—stop Watching me like that.

GRIAN: Answer the question, please.

CUB: I—

GRIAN: It’s straightforward enough, right? I mean, seriously. You aren’t that—

[static]

[crackling]

[AUDIO DISTORTED]

[static]

CUB: How—

GRIAN: You took my feathers. You know what I am. Now give me an answer. You know what I’m capable of.

CUB: [static]

[static]

[AUDIO DISTORTED]

[silence]

[silence]

[long beeping tone]

[footsteps]

GRIAN: —ub? Cub? Cub!

[soft thud] [breathing]

GRIAN: I’m sorry—I—

CUB: It was you! It was you. It—stay back.

GRIAN: I already know, I already know. I’m sorry.

CUB: We had no other choice—

GRIAN: I know. I Saw.

CUB: Do… do you forgive me, Watcher?

[silence]

CUB: Please. I had to. There were no other options.

GRIAN: You aren’t mine to forgive.

[silence] [sob]

GRIAN: I’m going home.

[footsteps]

GRIAN: Good luck, with all this. And… thank you.

CUB: But, Watcher—shoot, why can’t I say your… Grian.

GRIAN: Thank you for the tea.

[footsteps]

[door slams]

[heavy breathing]

[silence]

[footsteps]

CUB: I… we have a problem. Obviously.

[breathing]

CUB: I—I need to talk to you. Soon.

[silence]

CUB: That’s all.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: RECORDING SAVED]

[COMM: SEND RECORDING

SEND TO >> UNKNOWN USER

SENDING…

RECORDING SENT]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: Okay, okay, can you say that again?

ETHO: Do we have to record everything?

XISUMA: It’s important.

JOE: I think it’s great.

CLEO: You would.

MUMBO: Do we have to turn everything into an argument? Can we not be normal in potentially life-threatening situations?

SCAR: Where’s the fun in that?

BDUBS: HEY, let him speak!

XISUMA: If you would, Etho.

ETHO: Oh, so, uh, the moon. Moon’s weird.

BDUBS: Yes, we know, thank you.

ETHO: It’s… well, I think it’s opening?

XISUMA: Oh boy. That’s new, isn’t it?

ETHO: Um.

CLEO: Anytime you like, Etho.

JOE: Don’t be mean!

MUMBO: Can we please get on with it?

ETHO: It looks like this—you know—line. But opening. Like a crack in an egg?

BDUBS: IT’S HATCHING?

SCAR: Oh my gosh, is it gonna make a bunch of baby moons? Little moon-lets?

ETHO: Ah, no! No, I don’t—

XISUMA: We need you to be as specific as possible.

ETHO: Imagine—oh this is stupid—the surface is a layer, being peeled back. There’s something underneath. I don’t know.

JOE: Freaky.

MUMBO: Quite.

CLEO: What’s it look like, though?

ETHO: That’s… it? My eyes aren’t—you know my eyes can’t zoom in, yeah?

BDUBS: Loser.

XISUMA: It’s fine. Thank you for letting me know.

[footsteps]

XISUMA: Hold on.

[footsteps, closer]

ZEDAPH: I came as soon as I heard. What’s all this with the moon, then?

ETHO: I’m not saying it all again.

XISUMA: Etho sees a line, or crack, along the moon’s surface. Horizontal, and growing as if revealing a layer underneath. Is that right?

ETHO: Uhuh.

CLEO: Wow, that was much easier.

MUMBO: Indeed.

SCAR: I never knew how bad Etho was at explaining things until I heard X do it just now.

ETHO: Oh, come on.

ZEDAPH: Etho, could I ask you some questions?

ETHO: Sure.

ZEDAPH: What colour is this ‘line’?

ETHO: Grey? Maybe a bit purple—

ZEDAPH: Yeah, that’s what I was worried you’d say.

XISUMA: Wait, what?

ZEDAPH: Anyway, has the moon been getting any closer, further away? Has it been going through phases like a normal moon would?

ETHO: No? No to both.

ZEDAPH: Well, that’s concerning.

XISUMA: Is this related to the thing with Cub?

ZEDAPH: I need to do some research… I—I’ll be back as soon as I possibly can. But—

XISUMA: Shouldn’t you have someone with you?

ZEDAPH: Oh.

[silence]

ZEDAPH: Tango’s waiting at my base, don’t worry.

MUMBO: Your research is at your base?

ZEDAPH: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah!

SCAR: I thought Cub had a lab…

ZEDAPH: Why would you know th—never mind. It’s at my base. Yes.

[cough]

ZEDAPH: I should go.

XISUMA: Okay. We’ll see you later.

[footsteps]

BDUBS: Can we go now?

JOE: Aw, man, that was just gettin’ interesting!

MUMBO: Is anyone else slightly uneasy?

SCAR: Nope, it’s just you. Anyone feeling the urge to go pet their loveable cat for comfort?

BDUBS: Trade cat for horse and I’m there.

ETHO: Can I come, too?

XISUMA: Not gonna wait for me to say we’re done, huh?

CLEO: No can-do, sorry X. We have animals to pet.

JOE: Well, apparently these folks are ready to make a run for it. I gotta be goin’ too.

XISUMA: Okay, well, bye then, everyone? Thanks?

MUMBO: Scar, watch out for that wall—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> SERVER DETAILS

>> BIOME DETAILS

>> AIR DENSITY: OVERWORLD VOID

>> OVERWORLD VOID >> CLARIFY

COMM: OVERWORLD OXYGEN LEVEL: 16% ]

[WARNING: APPROACHING MINIMUM OXYGEN REQUIREMENT, PLEASE UPDATE ATMOSPHERE SETTINGS]

[COMM: INTERFACE OPEN

>> SERVER SETTINGS

>> ATMOSPHERE

>> OVERWORLD ATMOSPHERE

>> UPDATE >> YES

ERROR: FAILED TO UPDATE SETTINGS, PLEASE TRY AGAIN]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: D#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

DOC: Alright, man, I’m recording.

SCAR: Amazing!

DOC: These things don’t make sense.

SCAR: Well sure they do. Look, this one’s all about time travel.

DOC: Exactly.

SCAR: Pssht, come on, you’re still hung up on that? Doc, look around!

DOC: I think Cub’s a madman.

SCAR: You mean Cub uhhhhhh… five? Okay, I’m not sure—

DOC: You don’t believe this, right?

[silence]

SCAR: How else could I talk to Grian? How else are you gonna explain everything?

DOC: You’re going crazy?

SCAR: Oh, so this is all one big gas leak?

DOC: I didn’t say I was crazy.

SCAR: We’re all crazy, welcome to Hermitcraft!

DOC: What are these files? They look…

SCAR: Oh, no, I couldn’t make sense of those.

DOC: There’s something about them. I—I can’t… what?

SCAR: You can’t remember?

DOC: I am NOT losing my memory.

SCAR: It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

DOC: It isn’t happening.

SCAR: These remind me of something too. I can’t remember either. It’s like… static.

DOC: You… you don’t think… well, agh, if it really is Cub five.

SCAR: Yeah?

DOC: What happened to our Cub?

SCAR: I don’t wanna think about it.

DOC: Might be important.

SCAR: D’you think our codes are gettin’ all messed up?

DOC: What do you mean?

SCAR: Oh, I dunno. I don’t understand code. Just feels weird.

[silence]

DOC: These files, they’re about Grian.

SCAR: I told you about those.

DOC: Hm.

SCAR: What?

DOC: Nothing.

[paper rustling]

SCAR: Look, here, there’s a list. All the hermits not on the server for the reset.

DOC: I see.

SCAR: Wanna call one?

DOC: Uh…

SCAR: Worked for me, yeah? How hard can it be?

DOC: You said… Grian one, he, um, knew you?

SCAR: Said I sounded weird, but sure did.

DOC: Give me that.

SCAR: Let’s call someone!

DOC: Who?

SCAR: Give, give—

DOC: Hey!

[COMM: OUTGOING CALL

CALL >> FALSE ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS W TO STOP RECORDING]

[buzzing]

SCAR: Heeeello?

DOC: This isn’t working.

SCAR: Just wait, I got through before—

[click]

SCAR: See?

DOC: False?

[scratching]

[clicking]

SCAR: Uh, False? It’s Scar and Doc! How are ya?

[chirping]

[squark]

DOC: Oh.

SCAR: Ooooh.

[rustling]

[tapping]

SCAR: You think she’s, y’know.

DOC: Like Ren?

SCAR: And others!

DOC: But… what if she’s too far gone, man? Off-world, no help…

SCAR: She might not be our False, remember? Last time I tried, I called into the ones. Should we call them that? The ones? So, we’re the twos, apparently. According to Cub—

[screeching]

[static]

DOC: I think she didn’t like that.

SCAR: You’re kidding.

DOC: We can’t help her like this. Hand it over.

SCAR: Wait, but—

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED]

DOC: Yes?

SCAR: I thought I heard another voice…

DOC: No?

SCAR: I guess not.

[silence]

DOC: How many [static] are there?

SCAR: Cub wrote somewhere—I think—five? It might’ve been four. You know. Uh. Dyslexia.

DOC: Bad memory.

SCAR: Bit of both!

DOC: Thank you for showing me this place. I’ll look for anything useful.

SCAR: Shouldn’t we tell X?

DOC: No.

SCAR: Oh.

DOC: You can go.

SCAR: I—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: G#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

GRIAN: I’m… not telling anyone else.

[footsteps] [leaves crunching]

GRIAN: Can you believe I trusted them? And—and I know what I saw. I know what they did. I’m not an idiot! I mean, seriously. If we really are all copies of each other, doesn’t that mean, like, I don’t know, my friends would do the same thing? I can’t—it’s just not on.

[sigh]

GRIAN: I shouldn’t have done that, to Cub. I—sorry, I totally blew up at him. I mean, he deserved it, sure he did, but I promised. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. Ugh!

[thud] [leaves crunching]

GRIAN: But I just—I was curious, because I’m me. When he started talking, I just went mad, let the code go all weird and Looked and Saw what they did to him. To their Grian. And it was horrible! I couldn’t let it go. Just… his wings. Oh, I can’t even think about it.

[footsteps stop]

GRIAN: I feel sick.

[silence]

GRIAN: No, no, I’m fine. Grian, you are fine. Nothing’s wrong.

[footsteps]

GRIAN: For goodness’ sake. The light’s on in the house. I’m sorry, but I do not wanna deal with Keralis right now.

[footsteps] [door opens]

GRIAN: I’m back.

GEM: Oh, Grian!

GRIAN: What?

KERALIS: Lookie-lookie who I found!

GRIAN: What?

PEARL: Griba, you’re back!

GRIAN: I… nope. Can’t do this today.

[footsteps]

PEARL: Hey, hang on a minute—

GRIAN: No. Nope. Bye.

GEM: Aw, what?

[door slams]

[footsteps] [gravel crunching]

[footsteps, faster]

[heavy breathing]

[gasping]

[footsteps stop]

GRIAN: Calm down, calm down—

[heavy breathing]

[sob]

[gravel crunching]

[breathing quietens]

PEARL: Gri? You out here?

GRIAN: Go away, go away. Not now…

[footsteps]

PEARL: I think he went off that way.

GEM: That’s not like him, is it?

PEARL: He’s always been jumpy. This is meant to be his single-player world, after all.

[footsteps, closer]

GRIAN: Stop, go, go away.

PEARL: Here’s an idea. If we chase him, he’ll get all scared again, so we’ll wait in the house. He’ll come back eventually, right? Surely?

KERALIS: I didn’t realise—sorry, lovelies.

GEM: I just hope…

[footsteps fade]

[gasp]

GRIAN: Thank goodness.

[breathing slows]

GRIAN: That was stupid. I’m so stupid. This is such a stupid Grian thing to do. You idiot. Running away? And—you could’ve really hurt Cub, y’know. He looked terrified. Why couldn’t you just stop and think?

[sniffle]

GRIAN: This is exactly why they did those things to the other one, I bet. Stupid birdbrain can’t even act like a player. Might as well be a—a—

[breathing]

[silence]

[birds singing]

[movement overhead]

GRIAN: They can’t know, can they?

[leaves rustling]

GRIAN: I was right, about what’d happen if they knew.

[wind blowing]

[crickets]

[footsteps]

GRIAN: I think I’ll Watch the stars tonight.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION ON, SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

BEEF: —knew it’d be here somewhere.

[muffled scratching] [movement]

[tapping]

[screech]

BEEF: Come on, False, try me. I’m tired.

[cawing]

BEEF: Oh, yeah, yeah, you’re making yourself pretty clear.

[hissing] [gravel crunches]

BEEF: False, I know you’re in there, somewhere. You can’t scare me.

[chirp]

BEEF: Do you know where Pearl went? Here.

[squawking] [sniffing]

BEEF: Wait—you’re a bird, not a bloodhound. Never mind. Uh, yeah. Pearl?

[leaves rustling] [gravel crunches]

[chirping]

BEEF: Alright, then. Lead the way.

[footsteps] [chittering]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION OFF, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#005]

[COMM: RECORDING IN PROGRESS, DO NOT SWITCH COMM OFF]

[COMM: THIS RECORDING IS PROTECTED BY THE ATSC. THE CONTENTS OF THIS RECORD ARE CONFIDENTIAL AND CLASSIFIED. DO NOT SHARE THE CONTENTS OF THIS RECORD]

[COMM: RECORD TAKEN AT 11.57 PM, DATE GIVEN, WEATHER CONDITIONS: CLOUDY, AIR PRESSURE: NORMAL, TEMPERATURE: 17 CELSIUS, STATE OF CAPTIVE: ASLEEP]

[COMM: PROCEED WITH CAUTION]

XISUMA: There you are, you little—

[clanking sound]

[metal scraping]

XISUMA: Ugh, what did they do to you?

[footsteps]

XISUMA: Uhoh.

PEARL: X?

XISUMA: It’s not what it looks like.

PEARL: That’s a shame, ‘cause it looks like a jailbreak.

XISUMA: I’m not—

PEARL: Are you here for him, or your comm?

XISUMA: Uh, can you put the sword away?

[hum]

XISUMA: I—of course, I want to help him. That’s obvious, isn’t it? But, also, the server might implode if we’re not careful, so…

PEARL: Better that than this, right?

XISUMA: You know I can’t put them in danger.

PEARL: But I can.

XISUMA: I won’t let you.

PEARL: You will.

XISUMA: Yes, I probably will.

[static]

XISUMA: Oh, my comm. Pearl—

PEARL: Free your comm. I’ll get him.

XISUMA: Okay.

[metallic clang]

[tapping]

[beeping]

PEARL: Ow! How on earth does this thing work?

XISUMA: Ah, listen, it’s code. You won’t be able to fix it on your own.

[tapping]

XISUMA: That’s why I need this.

[footsteps]

PEARL: Oh gosh.

XISUMA: Pearl?

SCAR: Stop! Who goes—X?

XISUMA: Oh for goodness sake.

SCAR: How did you get out?

PEARL: What d’you mean? X, what does he mean?

XISUMA: I’m a Voidwalker. I walked.

SCAR: Through iron?

XISUMA: Something like that, yes.

SCAR: You could’ve done that the whole time?

PEARL: What? You had him trapped? Scar, you better start explaining, or I swear to—

SCAR: Woah, woah, hold your horses.

PEARL: Our admin—you stole his comm and locked him away. Why? Just ‘cause he disagreed with you? Well, why don’t you just throw us all in prison!

SCAR: No, I—It wasn’t my idea.

XISUMA: Pearl, calm down. I have my comm now, remember.

SCAR: Wait, X, come on. It’s me.

PEARL: What’re you doing?

XISUMA: Making good on a promise.

[COMM: SYSTEM SETTINGS

>> OVERWRITE >> YES

COMM: SYSTEM OVERWRITE COMMENCING…

COMM: OVERWRITE SUCCESSFUL]

[COMM: SERVER SETTINGS

>> WHITELIST

>> BAN

>> BAN GOODTIMESWITHSCAR >>

>> 

>> 

COMM: WAITING FOR USER INPUT

COMM: ACTION DISABLED]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: Go on, then.

SCAR: I—I don’t—

PEARL: This is hopeless.

XISUMA: Let him speak.

SCAR: We didn’t want the server to die, X.

XISUMA: Oh, I’ve heard that one before.

SCAR: I’m being serious! Serious Scar, here, please, you’ve gotta listen.

XISUMA: I’m listening.

PEARL: This is as good as it gets, buddy.

SCAR: Thank you. Thank you. I’m… we… it was Cub’s idea, okay?

PEARL: Way to shift the blame.

SCAR: No! Oh no, no, no. I mean, he figured out about the whole Watcher thing before Mumbo even told anyone. And—and all the research, he did that. He made the potions. He, well, he talked to the Vex—

XISUMA: I thought you two were done with that.

SCAR: We were, we were. But things got weird, and Cub saw all these [static] and he said we were next. He watched us all… y’know.

[footsteps]

SCAR: The way he said it… And we made this plan, to, uh, to trap him.

PEARL: You can’t even say his name. Look at him. Look at your friend!

[beeping]

[rustling]

SCAR: Oh, no.

GRIAN: Ugh.

SCAR: We should go.

GRIAN: Scar?

PEARL: Griba, mate, it’s me.

GRIAN: Pearl. You… hi.

SCAR: Why’s it always gotta be bad timing?

XISUMA: I think this is perfect timing. Why don’t you explain to Grian why we’re in this mess?

[cough]

PEARL: Are you okay?

GRIAN: M’fine. Used to it.

SCAR: It’s not meant to be forever.

XISUMA: Oh, really?

SCAR: Really. I promise you, X, Cub’s looking for a way out as we speak. This is all just—

GRIAN: Temporary? Hey, that’s what he said a month ago.

[sniffle] [laugh]

GRIAN: Or was it two months?

XISUMA: We can’t go on like this, Scar.

SCAR: I know.

XISUMA: You’re killing him.

SCAR: I know.

XISUMA: If this goes on much longer, his code will decay. We’re all dangerously close to the server core, right now. Who knows how we’ll be affected. But he’s—you patched him into it.

SCAR: Cub’s testing answers…

XISUMA: We don’t have that kind of time.

[silence]

XISUMA: Did none of you think to ask us for help?

SCAR: Us?

XISUMA: Grian, myself. Even other admins? Seriously?

PEARL: This is what happens when you put Cub in charge of a project.

XISUMA: Right.

SCAR: But—how could you help? We don’t know why it’s happening!

PEARL: We could’ve talked about it. Mumbo knew about—

[beeping]

GRIAN: Hello? Kinda suffering here. Are we freeing me or what?

XISUMA: Get Cub back here right now. I have a theory we need to test.

SCAR: Oh—okay?

GRIAN: Is that a yes?

XISUMA: Yes. Now let’s get a look at that code.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: CODE SETTINGS

>> CODESPACE SETTINGS

>> ALLOW CODESPACE EDITING >> YES

WARNING: CODESPACE EDITING CAN CAUSE FILE CORRUPTION AND SERVER DEATH, PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED WITHOUT OPERATOR GUIDANCE

>> CONTINUE >> YES

COMM: CODESPACE EDITING ENABLED, CODEFILES OPEN]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: Z#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

ZEDAPH: Oooh, okay, alright, this is fun!

[cough]

ZEDAPH: Now, I’m not sure where to start. I mean, look at all the possibilities.

[laugh]

ZEDAPH: For those just tuning in—hi Xisuma—that was a joke. There’s barely anything here, actually. I was really hoping for better luck, you know?

[hum]

ZEDAPH: Anyway, everything Cub left is all voidmatter, now, I think. Oh, why didn’t I think to bring Etho along with me? I am stupid, sometimes. Aha!

[paper rustling]

ZEDAPH: Found something! Now, it’s no complete research file, but it’ll do for a start. Plus, I know a fair bit. Cub told me quite a lot, mind you. He said about all the different [static] and such. Oh, yeah, you can’t hear that, can you? Well anyway, this is all expected, as far as I know. Uh, but we tried to stop it, I promise we did.

[footsteps]

ZEDAPH: He kept saying about some weird thing—uh—and now, I realise it sounds a little hard to believe. Crazy, even, with all the stories and folktales. But, um, this is all crazy, isn’t it?

[sigh]

ZEDAPH: Something about Watchers. That’s what Cub said. He told me he had their… feathers? And I had to get some other bits and bobs. Sorry, that’s—that’s why I had to take those things from—well—they’ll know what I mean.

[silence]

ZEDAPH: For the greater good, he said.

[laugh]

ZEDAPH: Anyone who says that’s usually the bad guy, right? But I like to think he left for good reasons. Uh, like, he’s still trying to help from the outside.

[paper rustling] [footsteps stop]

ZEDAPH: Maybe it’s kinda stupid to hope. He did say we’d be a lost cause if—if this happened. In his [static] they stopped it, but he wouldn’t tell me how.

[silence]

ZEDAPH: Uh! Back to it, then. This bundle of papers I’ve got are quite handy. They explain a bit about the whole—well, I can’t say it. Messes with the comm, and all that. Maybe he took the rest with him and just left us something to make sense of it all, huh? I’ll have to get Etho to take a look around.

[tapping]

ZEDAPH: Right, well, that’s it for now, X. Tell Etho to keep an eye on the moon, especially if it turns purple or anything like that. I’ll be back with some proper answers as soon as I can.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: RECORDING SAVED]

[COMM: SEND RECORDING

SEND TO >> XISUMA

SENDING…

RECORDING SENT]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: D#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

DOC: I do not forget things, but this is just in case.

[mechanical whirring]

DOC: I’ve been saying that a lot lately. Oh well. You see, this lab, or thing, whatever, is strange.

[footsteps]

DOC: I can’t make sense of it. Cub… I don’t know. His files are in vex script. Scar did not mention that. Or maybe it’s being in here? Something about it—odd, right? Unusual. Like a force, bearing down on us. Changing things.

[hiss]

DOC: The files were in English before. But I might be crazy, or forgetting things, you know?

[metal clanking]

DOC: Time to take them out of here. From what I do understand—which is not a lot—there are some very strange things happening. Very bad. Worse than, ah, eternal night and animal transformation, and forgetting. I think this involves a lot more dangerous things.

[footsteps] [echoing]

DOC: But we will find out, yes—

[crash]

DOC: Who’s there?

REN: Doc?

DOC: Oh, man, you scared the crap out of me.

REN: What is this place, dude?

DOC: Cub’s lab. I might have some answers to, you know, everything going on.

REN: Yo, but that’s great!

DOC: How’s your hand?

REN: Still gone.

DOC: Your memory?

REN: Fine?

DOC: Good, good.

[silence]

DOC: Did you follow me here?

REN: Uh.

DOC: Okay.

REN: Sorry. I get carried away.

DOC: No, no, this is good! Very good, we can look at this together.

REN: Really?

DOC: Or we can try. You know any vex script?

REN: No—

DOC: Ah, crap, hold on, let me—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: K#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

KERALIS: —just use mine for now!

PEARL: We don’t need to record everything, y’know.

KERALIS: Awh, but where’s the fun in that?

GEM: What if something strange happens?

PEARL: ‘What if’?

GEM: Something stranger.

KERALIS: Exactly-exactly.

PEARL: Can we at least see if my comm’s nearby?

KERALIS: Sure!

[COMM: COMM FUNCTIONS

>> LOCATE

>> LOCATE PLAYER

>> LOCATE COMM: PEARLESCENTMOON

LOCATING…

ERROR: THIS USER CANNOT BE FOUND, PLEASE ENSURE COMMNAME IS ENTERED CORRECTLY]

GEM: That’s… strange. Oh, I knew something strange would happen. Didn’t I say?

PEARL: Uhuh. But, I certainly had my comm. We all know that. What happened to it?

KERALIS: I don’t k-now.

PEARL: Gosh, this is a mess. How am I meant to get home if I can’t find my comm?

KERALIS: Oh, no, don’t be upset. Just—

GEM: Uh, Pearl?

PEARL: Yes?

GEM: I’m… no, no, that’s silly.

PEARL: What is it? Come on.

GEM: Well, you mentioned, before, about the different… what did you call them? Worlds?

PEARL: Oh, that—that was nonsense. Just silly Pearl and her crazy theories.

KERALIS: What’s this about worlds? Are we getting out of this one? We should wait for Brian, I think, yes?

GEM: No, no, Pearl said something about [static]. So, what if we’re not all from the same one? What if Pearl’s a different Pearl? Uh, does that make sense?

PEARL: I… maybe?

KERALIS: So we’ve got a Pearl-two!

PEARL: That might explain why your comm can’t find mine.

KERALIS: That’s great! Double Pearl means double friends!

GEM: If our Pearl—Pearls? —are okay…

KERALIS: I’m sure she is.

PEARL: I hope so. I—it’d be awful if… sorry.

GEM: Aw, Pearl, no, don’t worry.

KERALIS: We’ll all be a-okay! We’re alive, now, aren’t we so?

GEM: Right!

PEARL: Right.

[cracking]

[light thud]

PEARL: What was—

GEM: Something’s outside.

KERALIS: Oh dear.

GEM: It’ll be okay.

[muffled tapping]

[static]

[knocking] [static]

PEARL: Is—are they asking to come in?

GEM: I don’t think so.

[door opening]

[creaking]

PEARL: Oh my gosh.

GEM: You’re back!

[static]

PEARL: Are you alright? You look tired. Why did you go?

[static]

KERALIS: You need water? Some foods?

[static]

[AUDIO DISTORTED]

[static]

GEM: There’s something wrong.

PEARL: Hey, look at me. Please.

[static]

[loud thud]

PEARL: Oh!

GEM: Ah. That’s—that’s bad.

[static]

[crackling]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: S#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

MUMBO: Why—

SCAR: Just in case.

MUMBO: I suppose I have been forgetting quite a lot lately.

SCAR: Really?

MUMBO: Specific things, too. You wouldn’t think so. It’s as if it’s targeting thoughts.

SCAR: I can believe that.

MUMBO: You’d believe anything.

SCAR: Hey, not true! I don’t believe in ghosts.

MUMBO: Aren’t vexes basically ghosts?

SCAR: We are most certainly not, mister!

[laugh]

MUMBO: Okay, okay. Sure.

SCAR: It’s been too long since we caught up.

MUMBO: Oh, yes. It really has, hasn’t it?

SCAR: You don’t seem sure.

MUMBO: Well, you know, forgetting…

SCAR: I think it’s worse for you than anyone else. Isn’t that weird?

MUMBO: I’ve learnt to just go with whatever weird thing happens on this server.

SCAR: But this is different.

MUMBO: Maybe whatever did this likes me. Or doesn’t like me.

SCAR: You think something did this?

MUMBO: Hasn’t anyone told you about my theory?

SCAR: No.

MUMBO: Well I never—sorry, I just distinctly remember telling people to tell you. You were so interested in working it out, after all.

SCAR: Aw, you’re so sweet.

MUMBO: Anyway, I thought something—some kind of powerful entity, or player—might be behind it all. I thought, well, if you and Cub have your thing with the Vex, maybe… maybe another hermit made a bad deal?

SCAR: Ohhh, yeah, I get it. That’s pretty smart.

MUMBO: It’s not all that important, but I wrote down some of my thoughts. If you’d like to take a look just ask.

SCAR: I will. Can—can I ask what you’re forgetting?

MUMBO: Weirdly enough, I can’t remember.

SCAR: But you said there was a theme.

MUMBO: Oh! Yes, sorry, I know a bit from what I’ve been reminded of, since. The things I forgot but wrote down, or by coincidence remembered. Actually, this is very embarrassing. I… forgot about you?

SCAR: Oh no! That’s—Mumbo, that’s serious.

MUMBO: And Grian.

[silence]

SCAR: Huh.

MUMBO: What?

SCAR: That… that theory of yours might just come in handy.

MUMBO: You’d like to see it?

SCAR: Yeah. And I can come by more often if it’ll help.

MUMBO: Well, I wouldn’t want to distract you—

SCAR: It’s no problem!

[silence]

MUMBO: That’d be quite nice, then.

SCAR: Great! Now, lead the way to your notes, my friend.

MUMBO: It’s not much, really.

SCAR: I have a feeling it’s more than you think.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: C#005]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM SCAR ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS THE [ ] BUTTON TO STOP RECORDING]

CUB: Heeeello?

SCAR: You need to get back here, now.

CUB: Well good morning to you too. You realise what time it is, right?

SCAR: Come back to five, please.

CUB: What happened?

SCAR: Bad. Bad stuff. Very bad.

CUB: Wh—that’s not very specific, man.

SCAR: X got out.

CUB: What?

SCAR: And, uh, so, well…

[silence]

CUB: Yes?

[muffled voice]

SCAR: We need you here. I need you here.

CUB: Who did I just hear?

SCAR: No-one, nothing, it’s fine.

GRIAN: Is that Cub?

SCAR: Oh, gosh.

CUB: You’re kidding.

SCAR: I’m sorry, I tried—

CUB: It’s not… it’s not your fault.

GRIAN: Aw, I thought he’d be mad at you!

SCAR: Shut up!

[footsteps]

[muffled tapping]

[static]

SCAR: Hey!

GRIAN: Yoink.

SCAR: Give it back!

[wings flapping]

[muffled voice]

GRIAN: Hi Cub, wanna catch up?

CUB: Shoot. Hello.

GRIAN: So apparently—and you’re not gonna believe this, Cub—the world’s gonna end if you don’t get back over here.

CUB: Are you serious right now? Why did you—what’s wrong with you? We were so close!

GRIAN: That’s nice!

CUB: How am I meant to get back, huh? I don’t even have all the parts for a potion.

GRIAN: You have teeth, don’t you?

[silence]

CUB: I can make something, but it’s gonna be a shot in the dark. I might not make it back in time.

GRIAN: Okay.

CUB: Aren’t you sorry? Our world could die any second!

GRIAN: Everyone’s kind of going insane, I think. It hasn’t really hit me yet. Y’know, all the adrenaline from being torn out of the server core.

[hum]

GRIAN: But it’s fine, I mean, like, it’s better than code decay.

CUB: You… didn’t tell me you were sick.

GRIAN: You put a man in the middle of a server core and expect him to just be fine?

CUB: No, but—

GRIAN: It’s okay. Oooh. There it is. The fear’s catching up about now.

CUB: Oh.

GRIAN: Tastes sweet.

CUB: Oh?

GRIAN: Don’t you worry about it. Worry about getting home before we all reduce into atoms or whatever-it-is.

CUB: Don’t make me watch that happen, G.

GRIAN: Uhuh. I’ll hang up for you.

CUB: Wait—

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: B#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

ETHO: —wish you could see the sky right now.

BDUBS: Describe it to me.

ETHO: Are you sure? Last time—

BDUBS: YES. I’m sure.

ETHO: It’s just, you’re, uh, scared of the moon.

BDUBS: I am NOT. You don’t know that.

ETHO: It’s okay, y’know.

BDUBS: I’m not scared.

ETHO: Whatever you say. Still want me to…

BDUBS: Yes, yes. Your voice is nice.

ETHO: Oh.

BDUBS: Don’t let it get to your head.

[laugh]

ETHO: I won’t.

[crickets chirping]

ETHO: It’s… it’s not bigger than usual. The moon.

BDUBS: Oh, as opposed to anything else. ‘The moon’, obviously you’re talking about the moon. No doy.

ETHO: I thought this was about me talking.

BDUBS: I’m allowed as many ‘no doys’ as I want.

ETHO: Okay, sure.

BDUBS: Keep going.

ETHO: Hm. It kinda looks like a big eyeball.

BDUBS: Huh?

ETHO: Opening really—really slowly. I mean, I can’t see what’s under the surface yet, so…

BDUBS: An eyeball?

ETHO: It’s just a comparison.

BDUBS: No, but, doesn’t it make sense?

ETHO: It does?

BDUBS: I dunno.

ETHO: Well, anyway, it’s white—grey—moon coloured. But underneath it looks purple, sort of. Which, remember how Zed didn’t like that?

BDUBS: No.

ETHO: Of course not.

BDUBS: I should talk to Joe.

ETHO: Why?

BDUBS: No reason.

ETHO: Do I have to fight to keep you? Jeez.

BDUBS: HEY.

ETHO: I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Oh—how long have you been recording?

BDUBS: I thought you might say something useful I could send to X.

ETHO: So the whole ‘you have a nice voice’ thing was just to get me talking? You wound me!

BDUBS: No, no! I promise you have a lovely voice. Anyone would want to hear it.

ETHO: That’s right.

[laughter]

BDUBS: Oh man, we’re totally gonna die here.

ETHO: At least we’re together.

BDUBS: There are worse ways to die, I guess.

ETHO: More boring ways.

BDUBS: You can make it less boring…

ETHO: Uh. B. You’re still recording.

[laugh]

BDUBS: Oh, crap!

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: C#005]

[COMM: NOTE RECORD

>> NOTE DATA

>> SAVED DATA >> [C#005]

COMM: DISPLAYING NOTE DATA]

LOG 1:

I did it. It actually worked! A whole other universe. I can’t take my papers with me like this, so I need to keep things simple. This will work for now. But wow! This is amazing! I can see them all walking around over there (note to self: get pictures!) and I’m right here.

There’s no chance I’m interacting with them. I’ll call them █ █ █ [004] for now. But they can’t know about this. Who knows what would happen if our timelines got all mixed up.

This is awesome.

END LOG.

LOG 2:

So I’ve been going back and forth a lot. The potion really works! All I needed were some mob parts and a couple things from the Empires crew, then we were in business.

I noticed some differences between their universe and ours. We are on the same timeline (I think, note: confirm this) because they have memorabilia from Empires, too. But some things are different. Examples: Scar = no vex, Cleo = missing eye (? note: research this), Grian = no earwings. Those are just hermit examples.

Other examples: no life game? After lots of snooping research, I couldn’t find any reference to those games. Weird! Also, sunset is 5 minutes early.

I’ll keep looking out for changes, while I work on the museum on █ █ █ [005]. This is so cool. I should tell someone.

END LOG.

LOG 3:

They are really a few weeks ahead! I looked through some HotGuy calendars (note: buy more HotGuy merch) and yep, the dates don’t line up.

Someone nearly saw me. It’s awkward, because I think Cub█ █ █ [004] is younger. Which is weird. But that’s fine, I just need to be a little more careful. Careful is my middle name (note: do not mention exploded historic creepers). They’d think I was him from a distance so it’s fine.

It’s kind of like looking into the future. That is a crazy power to have. Maybe I can use it to my advantage (note: get head start on museum competition). I can’t tell anyone, or else they’ll totally use this too. I only have so many potions!

END LOG.

LOG 4:

Xisuma█ █ █ [004] wants to reset the server. I’ll have to be gone for that. It feels like I’m spending more time here than home lately.

Something’s come up in my research. Another universe, I think. I might call it 003. I don’t know. One is enough. Wow, it’s hard to sound professional in these things. Should I be talking more like a scientist? Am I a scientist? I’ve got this cool coat.

Maybe Zedaph should know about this. He’s all about science.

END LOG.

LOG 5:

Okay.

Okay. This is. How do I even write this?

Bad.

Oh boy. (note: writing thoughts does not work when no thoughts)

Reset went badly. Or, that’s what everyone is saying. I can only eavesdrop listen so much. This is crazy. I feel crazy. I need to tell someone. What if this happens to us?

Notes: reset went poorly, no one can leave or enter (note: aside from me, more research needed) and there are hermits who are GONE. World looks strange. Covered in chorus fruit-type plant. Mycelium-like. Spreading. Reminds of sculk. Not good. Xisuma trying to keep calm. Etho can’t see plants (? note: confirm).

Gone hermits of █ █ █ [004]: False, Pearl, Beef, Keralis, Gem, Grian, Cub

This is not good. I need to find Cub█ █ █ [004]. I need to talk to him.

END LOG.

LOG 6:

The plants are spreading? I am worried. They tried to latch on to Bdubs.

Rotted skin.

I have made a discovery and I don’t like it. Could be worse than thought. Needs more research. I don’t have time.

Asked X when reset is for █ █ █ [005]. Pushed it back few days (lied to X about superstition). Now have deadline. Not enough time.

Talked to Zedaph. Did not believe me. Showed him pictures. Now believes.

Need to find Cub█ █ █ [004]. Nearly there. Trying to get new ingredients. Stronger. Need to convince Scar. Will convince Scar for diamonds. He is predictable. It's only teeth.

Very worrying plants near me. Going home now.

END LOG.

LOG 7:

I can’t describe what happened, because I don’t understand. I didn’t expect to find something like this. There are only a few days left for █ █ █ [005] and I don’t have a way to fix it. I’m meant to be a museum curator. This is too much.

The plants are bad on █ █ █ [004]. I have found the world with Cub█ █ █ [004] and he was not surprised to see me. But our interacting will make an ‘implosion’. This is not good. The others might be here too?

Oh man.

He said there is a way to save █ █ █ [004]. I am writing this now, just in case it fails.

The plants are killing everything. It is worse than the sculk. We are taking potions now. We will try to save them. Shoot. I’m scared.

END LOG.

LOG 8:

Note: He has the same passwords as me.

I can’t think right now.

END LOG.

LOG 9:

It isn’t 001 and 002. It’s 004 and 005. I’m going through and changing the old logs for him.

END LOG.

LOG 10:

It’s hard to read. I wish he hadn’t written that last part.

END LOG.

LOG 11:

I should explain. For the benefit of research.

They went out holding each other. My fellow hermits.

He tried to go in and save them. I told him to stop. We both had those potions.

But he didn’t stop. And I watched.

I took his comm. He doesn’t need it now.

His world has two days. I need to talk to Mumbo and Scar. About.

…

Seeing them again is going to hurt. I know. I know I’m stupid.

If I can save his world, that’s the least I can do.

The way to do it is bad. I don’t have time.

If I can save the others…

I’ll try.

END LOG.

LOG 12:

If there were better ways, I would use them.

This is the worst way.

But I have to save them all.

I told X. Good old X. At least believed me.

He didn’t like this.

Had to lie. Tell them I’m still 005. I can pretend. Said I saw another universe die. It was mine.

Mumbo and Scar are with me on this. Zedaph is trying to understand. I don’t know what 005 told him. I don’t want to know. I have to know. They will find out.

Holy smokes, I’m not ready to see them. Some of them are coming to see it. Server core makes me feel ill. How do I explain this? How do I justify this? Oh my go—

Pearl is not allowed to see. She WILL kill me.

This world is weird and I don’t like it.

Please stop talking to me.

The Watcher will not be quiet. Shut up!!!!

I can’t look at it.

These notes are kind of nice. I like getting my thoughts out. I get why he did it.

But I’ll switch to paper again soon. For the research.

I need more potions. There must be a way.

END LOG.

LOG 13:

Now with help, things are easier.

I like this Mumbo. He has very few morals. Great.

That’s mean.

But kind of true.

Zedaph001 is helpful also.

Yeah. 001. I didn’t explain.

I don’t know what’ll happen to the other universes. They all have the same fate (I THINK?).

I should make some notes.

On paper.

END LOG.

LOG 14:

This is getting less relaxing.

Wait.

Forgot what I was going to write.

I need paper.

END LOG.

LOG 15:

This will be the last.

I only need to say something somewhere no one can find it.

When I saw them all die.

…

Never mind.

The Watcher is getting difficult. I can’t take more feathers for the strong potions.

But I need to go back to 001. Get onto their Hermitcraft again.

Or the single-player. Because it is a real bad one. Messy. We did something wrong. Implosion.

Have to find another one? Another Watcher. Not another world.

Scar won’t let me near. I feel alone.

This isn’t how I wanted it to go.

This isn’t fixing anything.

I have to keep going.

Keep trying. Maybe I can bring them back help the other worlds.

Worlds? Universes? I don’t know anymore.

This is impossible.

Goodbye. I don’t know what to do anymore.

END LOG.

LOG 16:

Man. It’s been a while!

We are so done.

Whoever finds this. I hope you’re more successful than me.

I’m going back home to 005.

They let The Watcher go.

Woo, just my luck.

Leaving this here. I don’t need it anymore.

If another Cub finds this. Sorry???

Also: how are you not dead? Did the universal implosion not kill you? Cool.

Thought we messed up the universe so hard it erased you all. And possibly some others.

Answer below. Haha.

I’m freaking out.

Logging out for a final time: Cub004.

LOG END.

[COMM: DATA ENDS]

[COMM: DATA TRANSFER SETTINGS

>> TRANSFER NOTE DATA >> YES

>> TRANSFER TO >> LOCAL PAIRING

SCANNING FOR COMMS…

>> PAIRING FOUND

>> CONNECT >> VINTAGEBEEF

TRANSFERRING DATA…

COMM: TRANSFER COMPLETE]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: J#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

JOE: Howdy y'all. Joe Hills here recording as I always do in Nashville, Tennessee—

CLEO: No, you promised.

JOE: I don’t recall promisin’ anything.

CLEO: Come on, Joe, we said no more of these… whatever you call them?

JOE: Well, I call ‘em ‘Joecasts’.

CLEO: Who is listening to these? They’re private recordings on your personal comm!

JOE: I like to think my target audience is real dedicated.

CLEO: They’d have to be.

JOE: There’s always gotta be someone watchin’.

CLEO: What?

JOE: Like, the eye in the sky. Just an example.

CLEO: You don’t seriously think Etho’s right about that.

JOE: Why not? I’ve sure seen crazier things.

CLEO: I’m sorry, what have you seen that’s crazier than a giant floating eyeball—oh, come on, that’s not even original! We had one of those last season!

JOE: It wasn’t the moon, though.

CLEO: Yeah, I suppose not. Wait, no, no, I’m not convinced.

JOE: Sure.

CLEO: Are you… alright?

JOE: Huh?

CLEO: You looked kinda out of it, there.

JOE: Hm. Yep.

CLEO: Right, well, I’m about done with this thing.

JOE: Uhuh?

CLEO: I’ve been tinkering with my comm and I think it can make calls again!

JOE: Um…

CLEO: Joe, seriously—

JOE: Do you feel lightheaded?

CLEO: Uh, no? No, what? Joe. Joe, you’re not funny. Come on.

JOE: Don’t—hold on… uh…

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: CL#001]

[COMM: OUTGOING CALL

CALL >> XISUMA ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS X TO STOP RECORDING]

XISUMA: Cleo? Hello? How did you do that?

CLEO: I’ve been messing with my comm. Got it to work again—but X, there’s not really time for an explanation right now.

XISUMA: What’s going on?

CLEO: It’s—it’s Joe. He’s really not well. I thought you’d know something.

XISUMA: What do you mean ‘not well’? How bad is it?

CLEO: Uh, well, he’s awake, but he’s not talking.

XISUMA: That’s… concerning.

CLEO: He’s also really dizzy. It’s almost like he’s drunk, but he wasn’t like this ten minutes ago!

XISUMA: He hasn’t taken anything?

CLEO: No. I would’ve seen, X.

[silence]

CLEO: X?

XISUMA: I think I know what this is. Send me your coords and stay there. Please.

CLEO: Got it. Should—what if it gets worse?

XISUMA: Just—stay there.

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: OUTGOING MESSAGE

MESSAGE >> XISUMA ]

CLEO: Coords incoming [file attached]

[COMM: MESSAGE END]

[COMM: MESSAGE SENT]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: I don’t need your explanations. Really.

MUMBO: But—if you just listened—

XISUMA: Right. I’ve had enough.

[COMM: SERVER SETTINGS

>> WHITELIST

>> BAN

>> BAN >> MUMBOJUMBO >>

>> 

>> 

COMM: WAITING FOR USER INPUT

COMM: ACTION DISABLED]

XISUMA: You are a very lucky man right now.

SCAR: Oh hey, that almost happened to me too…

GRIAN: Go away, Scar!

[footsteps]

GRIAN: You better not try that again, X. We vote on these things, right?

MUMBO: Uh, thank you—

GRIAN: I’ll do it myself if you try anything.

MUMBO: I see.

[cough]

MUMBO: Can we maybe get Pearl back here?

GRIAN: Nope.

MUMBO: Alright. Is this… safe?

GRIAN: I think being right next to the core is perfectly safe. Why, don’t you?

MUMBO: Point taken.

XISUMA: You have a lot to answer for, you realise.

MUMBO: Uhuh.

GRIAN: When Cub gets back… I—I’m only saying this ‘cause, like, I nearly died. Y’know?

XISUMA: I don’t have to be here if—

GRIAN: No. I want this on record.

XISUMA: We can find your comm.

GRIAN: Just—stay.

XISUMA: Okay.

GRIAN: Cub’s gonna want my feathers, or something, like, for his potions. To save the world. I dunno. But I have better ideas, so I need you to be all—um—y’know how you tricked me? Yeah, well, you need to do that.

MUMBO: You know I’m sorry. I’ve said—

GRIAN: Ah! Doesn’t matter! If he gets all uppity about it, you know what to do.

MUMBO: Grian.

GRIAN: Hm?

[silence]

MUMBO: What’s the plan?

GRIAN: You’ll find out.

MUMBO: Oh, for goodness—you can’t keep me in the dark here.

GRIAN: Really? Can’t I?

XISUMA: Would… it be best to just tell him?

GRIAN: No.

MUMBO: I really think it would.

GRIAN: You don’t get a choice, sorry.

[silence]

GRIAN: Anyway. While we wait…

MUMBO: Scar said—he said you were sick.

XISUMA: Grian was going through code decay. I’m sure it would’ve killed a, well, the average player.

[hum]

XISUMA: Don’t look so down, friend. It might kill us yet.

MUMBO: Cub said it was safe.

GRIAN: He didn’t.

MUMBO: No, he didn’t.

[sigh]

MUMBO: Were you—no, I know you were in pain. I… I don’t know how to do this, actually. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.

GRIAN: Good.

XISUMA: I can always ban you if it’d make you feel better.

GRIAN: Do not.

MUMBO: Please.

GRIAN: Shut up.

[silence]

GRIAN: Sorry. You were my best friend. You know that, yeah?

MUMBO: Yes.

GRIAN: You made me feel like I’m, y’know, like, not a person, and stuff.

[silence]

MUMBO: You are a person, Grian.

GRIAN: Uh, yeah, the person who’s gonna get us out of this mess.

XISUMA: I hope so.

MUMBO: Ah, well, the alternative is dying in some horribly graphic fashion, so…

GRIAN: For the record, you’re not the first ones to do this sorta thing.

[silence]

GRIAN: So, like, don’t go about thinking you’re all some type of inexcusable unique evil.

MUMBO: What?

XISUMA: Yeah, I’m seconding that ‘what’.

GRIAN: Ohhh, right. I didn’t. Tell you about that. Don’t worry about it.

MUMBO: You are so explaining yourself once this is all over.

GRIAN: Am I, now?

MUMBO: Sorry, I mean. Only if you want to.

GRIAN: Depends how well you can convince Cub to leave me alone, I guess.

MUMBO: Oh, right, yes. Of course.

GRIAN: I think we’re done here. X?

XISUMA: Unless anyone has anything else to say, I can save this for the… well, if you need a character witness.

MUMBO: You’re not seriously considering—

XISUMA: It’s the server’s vote. We just need a server left to vote with.

MUMBO: I understand.

GRIAN: Brilliant. I’m off.

[footsteps]

MUMBO: Oh. Okay, well—

XISUMA: Hold on.

MUMBO: Yes?

XISUMA: I try to be fair. Just keep that in mind, while we fix this.

MUMBO: Got it. I—thank you for not banning me?

XISUMA: Don’t thank me yet.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: D#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

DOC: I… don’t know what I expected.

[papers shuffling]

DOC: I should not keep this from you. Ah. If I send this, and I’m not a coward, you’ll understand, yes?

[tapping]

DOC: Ren and I made discoveries. Cub’s research. It translated itself. And, well, you see… I never thought I’d say Scar was right. About anything.

[laugh]

DOC: More troubling matters—there is something coming. I don’t know what. But it is dangerous, and worse than the things already happening. I think… this could be the big one, X.

[footsteps]

DOC: There are other [static] where the same thing happened. Well—not the same… similar.

[static]

DOC: Come to talk to me. Please. We need you to know what is going on, and I don’t know who can fix it. But if anyone can, it’s you. It has to be.

[papers shuffling] [footsteps]

DOC: I don’t know what will happen otherwise.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: RECORDING SAVED]

[COMM: SEND RECORDING

SEND TO >> XISUMA

SENDING…

COMM: RECORDING SENT]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: There. Is that better? Can you hear me, Joe?

JOE: Loud and clear.

XISUMA: Focus on breathing.

JOE: Aye-aye.

CLEO: What happened?

XISUMA: I’ve been looking at the oxygen levels on the server for the past few days, and, um, it’s not…

CLEO: Yeah, that sounds bad.

XISUMA: It’s dropping. I think it’s going to void levels.

CLEO: But a player can survive easily in the End. We’ve all done it before.

XISUMA: Not End. Void. I’m from the void, that’s why I wear—wore—my mask.

CLEO: But the air’s been thinner since the reset.

XISUMA: And it’s getting worse.

CLEO: Why am I not passed out, then?

JOE: Thanks for the mask, X.

XISUMA: You’re welcome. Listen, Cleo, you… you’re undead.

CLEO: I’m aware.

XISUMA: It makes sense you don’t need as much air as other people.

[silence]

XISUMA: Sorry.

CLEO: No, no, it’s fine. This is good!

XISUMA: I need to make sure everyone’s okay. Sorry.

CLEO: Go, go. Remember to turn your comm off.

XISUMA: Thanks for the data, at least. I’ll relay it to Zedaph when I get the chance. Keep that mask on, Joe.

JOE: Aw, man.

CLEO: It does make you sound funny.

XISUMA: Maybe you can fix some more comms? Who knows how I’m gonna find half the hermits.

CLEO: If I see anyone, I’ll try my best.

XISUMA: Okay, good. Stay safe.

JOE: Will do.

CLEO: We’ll be around.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: X#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

CUB: That isn’t necessary. Seriously.

XISUMA: I’ll keep records of what I want, thank you.

CUB: You realise how hard it was to get back here, right? How messed up everything is already? Have you seen the server code lately? Shoot, man, you don’t need to monitor my every move!

XISUMA: But I will.

GRIAN: I think it’ll be useful one day.

CUB: You don’t know the first thing about science—

GRIAN: Not for science.

CUB: Whatever.

GRIAN: Wanna hear my plan?

CUB: Yes. Yeah.

XISUMA: Please remember why you’re here, and not in a cell. Or banned.

CUB: I know, I know.

GRIAN: You said the other [static] are, like, accessible, right? I mean, with your potions?

CUB: Yeah. But I can’t make any more.

GRIAN: Don’t need to. I’m here.

CUB: There’s no way you have that kind of energy. Not after—

GRIAN: After what you did to me? Oh, no, I’m super dead. Drained, y’know. But that’s fine.

CUB: How is it fine? This world is going to collapse, dude! Every world is gonna wipe us out. We’ll be dead five times over and we don’t have anything to show for it!

XISUMA: Get over yourself, mate.

GRIAN: Y’know, X, I like this side of you. It’s nice.

XISUMA: Thanks. I don’t.

GRIAN: Anyways, Cub, it would be an issue if I wanted to go out to those worlds and save them all by myself. There’s no way I’d have the energy. But lucky for us, I don’t wanna do that.

CUB: What’re you saying?

GRIAN: I’m gonna send someone else.

CUB: Grian, if any of us meet our alternate selves, it could totally collapse the fabric of the—

GRIAN: I’m sending Pearl.

CUB: Oh.

XISUMA: He didn’t clear this by me, by the way. Just saying.

CUB: No, no, that’s… smart, actually.

GRIAN: In every other world, she’s gone.

XISUMA: Now hold on.

CUB: Not gone. Missing.

GRIAN: So we send our Pearl out to a Hermitcraft. There’d be no risk!

[clicking]

[crackling]

GRIAN: I trust her with my—whatever it’s called—magic? Power?

XISUMA: Alterations.

GRIAN: That, exactly. Thank you, X.

[crackling]

GRIAN: She’s gonna get there. Kick butt. Uh, y’know. Talk to the other X and the other—whoever. Get results. Get back here. Boom!

CUB: You… don’t have a plan.

GRIAN: It’s better than just stepping back and watching.

[silence]

CUB: One was the [static] I spent the most time in. But it might not be enough. I left bits of research everywhere. Scattered. There could be an answer in there somewhere, I guess.

GRIAN: So Pearl will make a few extra trips. No biggie.

XISUMA: It sounds… incredibly dangerous.

GRIAN: It is.

CUB: But where we are right now is dangerous, too.

GRIAN: If we wanna stop this [static] from going all killer-void-death on us, and maybe save the other ones too, we need Cub’s stupid research. That he left everywhere. Because he’s stupid.

CUB: Okay.

XISUMA: I know.

[crackling]

[static]

GRIAN: Meanwhile, we can try to contact the other [static] and warn them. Or get some good old-fashioned information.

CUB: I’d like to know how they’re holding up.

GRIAN: Exactly. That too.

XISUMA: You do have a plan.

GRIAN: Said I did.

CUB: I’m… impressed.

GRIAN: You don’t get to be impressed. You just help.

CUB: Yeah.

[static]

GRIAN: Mumbo’s trying to make a walkie-talkie thingie with a spare comm. So we can talk to Pearl when she’s all over the place.

CUB: Holy smokes, you thought this through.

GRIAN: ‘Course I did. I care about her. That’s what people do when they care about someone.

[crackling]

CUB: I—

XISUMA: Should I get Pearl?

GRIAN: We need to break this to her, uh, delicately. Y’know. Things weren’t all good back when I got—well—when… ah.

XISUMA: I’ll go get her.

GRIAN: Thanks.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION ON, SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

BEEF: —ello? Hellooo? False, calm down.

[squawking]

[footsteps]

BEEF: I get it, I get it. Man.

[footsteps]

[creaking] [opening door]

UNKNOWN USER: Hello?

BEEF: Oh my—Hey!

[COMM: AUTOMATIC VOICE MATCHING…

PLAYER FOUND: KERALIS ]

KERALIS: Vintage-Kebab!

BEEF: Keralis, you have no idea—

GEM: Beef?

BEEF: There’s more of you guys? Is this where everyone’s been this whole time?

KERALIS: Ah, Pearl’s here too, sweetface.

GEM: Is that—uh—False?

[screech] [gravel crunches]

BEEF: Oh, yeah, she’s kinda out of it, though.

GEM: No, I know, she… chased us through the woods.

PEARL: What’s all this ruckus—Beef!

BEEF: You guys know what’s going on? My comm’s been acting buggy. I can’t get onto Hermitcraft.

PEARL: Welcome to the club.

GEM: None of us know anything. This is Grian’s survival world, but we can’t leave. It’s meant to be single-player. There also might be [static] but I don’t really get it.

BEEF: Single-player… Is Grian here?

PEARL: Come inside. It’s not—well, you’ll see, won’t you?

BEEF: Is it cool if False, well, what d’you wanna do?

[cawing] [rustling]

BEEF: I guess she’ll stay outside.

KERALIS: I can keep her company!

BEEF: Sure. Don’t let her bite.

[laugh]

BEEF: Sorry, bad joke.

[footsteps] [door closing]

BEEF: Oh. Oh, wow.

PEARL: We know.

BEEF: That… is he good?

GEM: We thought he’d respawn. Maybe I should—

PEARL: NO. No mercy killings. We don’t know how respawn’s working, do we? It could be glitched!

GEM: Fine.

BEEF: How’d this happen?

GEM: No idea. Keralis said he left before we got here. When he came back, he got all weird and ran away—

PEARL: He had a panic attack.

GEM: And came back like this. Passed out as soon as he got in the door.

BEEF: He’s… glowing.

PEARL: Yeah.

BEEF: Right.

PEARL: I think I know what this is.

GEM: Wait, really?

PEARL: I just hoped it wasn’t.

[cough]

PEARL: But it’s not my secret to tell. I mean, it is, but if—well, it’s Grian’s choice.

GEM: If he wakes up.

PEARL: Don’t say that.

[silence]

BEEF: Uh. Pearl. I found your comm, by the way.

PEARL: Oh!

[shuffling fabric]

PEARL: Thanks, I thought I lost it for good, there. Dropped it when False swooped in on us.

GEM: I still can’t believe it’s her.

PEARL: Yeah. It’s freaky.

BEEF: I talked to her, then she calmed down. I dunno if she understands. Pretty sure it’s all just instincts.

PEARL: You think it’s a hybrid thing?

BEEF: What else?

GEM: I guess…

[silence]

[static]

PEARL: I—I’ll turn this off, then. Maybe we should keep it running if he—when he wakes up?

BEEF: A record. Right. Good thinking, Pearl.

[hum]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: M#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

MUMBO: Do I really need to be recording this? It’s all written down.

SCAR: We might forget it’s written down! You never know!

MUMBO: Oh, fine.

SCAR: This is really interesting stuff, Mumbo.

MUMBO: It’s only a theory. I just—I remembered a few bits from back in season eight, and I kind of spiralled.

SCAR: No, no, it’s good.

MUMBO: If I wasn’t so muddled up right now, it’d probably be better.

[papers shuffling]

SCAR: These drawings. You did them yourself?

MUMBO: I suppose so. I don’t remember.

SCAR: They’re, well, weird, but ah-mazin’!

MUMBO: Ah. Thank you.

SCAR: And this—what’re you—yes! The ‘overseers’.

MUMBO: I sound like a lunatic, don’t I? I’m sorry.

SCAR: Not at all! I always thought… you got this from Pearl, right? I always thought she had something strange about her.

MUMBO: Actually…

SCAR: Hm?

MUMBO: It—it wasn’t Pearl. It was… never mind.

SCAR: Huh?

MUMBO: It involves the event you don’t like to talk about.

SCAR: Ohhhh. I see, I see. Okay then! But you did write Pearl’s name down, here.

MUMBO: She was apparently involved, yes.

SCAR: And I see, oh, yeah, the other names. That’s familiar.

MUMBO: Whatever happened to them, I think it might’ve done something. It might be linked in all this, somehow. Does that make any sense?

SCAR: Mumbo! Of course it does! If there’s any explanation for this, it has something to do with whatever these ‘overseer’ things are. I’d bet my hat on it.

MUMBO: You just like to gamble.

SCAR: Well, a win’s a win.

[laughter]

[footsteps]

MUMBO: Maybe it isn’t a total coincidence that Grian and Pearl were both—are both not here. The others, I don’t have much of a reason for.

SCAR: Doc and Xisuma are gonna be in-the-know about this stuff. Would it be okay if I told them about this?

MUMBO: Oh! Yeah, okay. They can probably make more sense of it than I could.

SCAR: Don’t be so down on yourself. You’re just as smart as them.

MUMBO: Scar.

SCAR: What?

MUMBO: Don’t look at me like that.

SCAR: Like what?

MUMBO: Like that! You’re still recording this, you know.

SCAR: Oh my gosh—

[laughter]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: S#003]

[COMM: OUTGOING CALL

CALL >> XISUMA ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS 9 TO STOP RECORDING]

XISUMA: Scar?

SCAR: Well hello there—

XISUMA: It’s four in the morning.

SCAR: Indeed it is, my good friend.

XISUMA: So… what d’you want?

SCAR: Can’t I just call because we’re friends?

XISUMA: Not really.

SCAR: Aw, you’re breaking my heart, X!

XISUMA: I’m… going to hang up, now.

SCAR: Wait, wait!

XISUMA: Why?

SCAR: Don’t you wanna hear how we are?

XISUMA: How who—you mean…

SCAR: Boatem! Yeah, yeah, I can tell you all about, uh, all about our builds, and things.

XISUMA: I’m tired, Scar.

SCAR: Please?

[silence]

[tapping]

XISUMA: Fine. Go on.

SCAR: Okay, okay, so! Impulse has been working on this big factory, and Mumbo’s gone vegan—you know all this, right? You were here a few months ago. Anyways, it’s all gone way crazier than anyone expected. The ‘peace love and plants’ thing. Mumbo’s potato-boy now. It’s wild.

XISUMA: I know this already. I’m really tired.

SCAR: Oh, well, um, I think… I think Grian’s been doing some new stuff. And Pearl! Yeah, they’ve been working on their builds. And—and Grian asked me to build a secret alley in his build, so I’ve been—

XISUMA: Scar.

SCAR: X.

XISUMA: You know they aren’t here, don’t you?

SCAR: Who?

[silence]

XISUMA: Pearl and Grian. They aren’t… since the reset. You know this, Scar.

[silence]

[exhale]

SCAR: What if I could get them back?

XISUMA: What?

SCAR: What if I—I had a way? Huh?

XISUMA: I know you miss them. We all do! And it’s not anybody’s fault—

SCAR: I think I have something.

XISUMA: Please don’t do anything silly.

SCAR: The void said—uh, never mind.

XISUMA: The void? What’re you on about?

SCAR: Never mind. I’m going to sleep! G’night, Xisuma.

XISUMA: It’s morning—

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: AUTOMATIC RECORD SYSTEMS, CAPTURING ENVIRONMENT SOUND]

UNKNOWN: you did well

[static]

[clicking]

UNKNOWN: we apologise for the timing

SCAR: Oh, well, you know me! Always ready for, um, adventure!

UNKNOWN: are you tired

SCAR: No! No, no, no. I’m all good!

UNKNOWN: you surprised us

UNKNOWN: we did not expect it

SCAR: Th—thank you?

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘xisumavoid’ should be made aware

UNKNOWN: but awareness comes at great cost

UNKNOWN: you are willing to consider cost

SCAR: I… am?

UNKNOWN: we believe this world is compromised

UNKNOWN: we believe this world should be compromised

SCAR: Which one is it?

UNKNOWN: you will not question us

SCAR: Okay. Sorry, gentlemen! My—my most sincere apologies!

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘xisumavoid’ invited us with prayer

UNKNOWN: do you wish to pray

SCAR: Um.

UNKNOWN: do you wish to pray

SCAR: Can I—when will Pearl and Grian get back?

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘pearl’ has been compromised

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘grian’

[silence]

[static]

SCAR: You said… is she okay? What do you mean ‘compromised’? Where’s Grian?

UNKNOWN: it has been dealt with

SCAR: Oh, no you don’t. Not again, mister. You’re gonna answer me when I—

UNKNOWN: you will not question us

UNKNOWN: we will make the ones which call itselves ‘hermit’ aware

SCAR: You wouldn’t.

UNKNOWN: we will make the one which calls itself ‘xisumavoid’ aware

UNKNOWN: we will make an angel

UNKNOWN: we will make alive new sainthood

[silence]

SCAR: Can’t bring the missing folks back home, though?

UNKNOWN: it is gone and cannot be found

SCAR: Where’d you come from?

UNKNOWN: there is a hole in the world

UNKNOWN: you call us the void

SCAR: I know that! I’m asking ‘cause I wanna know more.

UNKNOWN: there is no more

UNKNOWN: you have not been made aware

UNKNOWN: killing lamb we can make you aware

SCAR: Can you guys not call me that?

UNKNOWN: we can make you aware

SCAR: No thanks.

UNKNOWN: you do not pray to us

SCAR: I don’t want to. I have other things, y’know.

UNKNOWN: killing lamb

SCAR: Yeah?

UNKNOWN: what does a killing lamb pray to

SCAR: That’s kinda a weird personal subject.

UNKNOWN: you will tell us what you pray to

SCAR: Will I?

UNKNOWN: we can make you aware

UNKNOWN: we will make you aware

SCAR: No.

UNKNOWN: you will be aware

SCAR: I won’t.

UNKNOWN: you will tell us what you pray to

SCAR: You make your angels, I make mine.

UNKNOWN: this is unspecific

SCAR: I thought you guys liked riddles? Come on!

[static]

[crack]

[scream]

UNKNOWN: we will put you back together

SCAR: Y—you didn’t have t—oh, gosh—do that!

[heavy breathing]

[birds sing]

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘xisumavoid’ will be made aware

SCAR: No!

UNKNOWN: we will make an angel

SCAR: Stop—stop it! You can’t—

UNKNOWN: are you tired

SCAR: No—

UNKNOWN: you are tired killing lamb

SCAR: Please. Not when they’re not here.

UNKNOWN: you cannot carry it forever

UNKNOWN: it is a heavy thing

SCAR: I know. Agh.

[silence]

[clicking] [static]

SCAR: Lightheaded…

UNKNOWN: you must rest now

UNKNOWN: we will make you an angel killing lamb

SCAR: Don’t…

UNKNOWN: angel will hold the moon forever

SCAR: ‘m not a killing lamb.

UNKNOWN: killing lamb kills and is killed

UNKNOWN: you find another name more appropriate

SCAR: Yes. My name.

UNKNOWN: we will not use names

UNKNOWN: you are the one which calls itself ‘scar’ but is a killing lamb

SCAR: No.

UNKNOWN: you are the one which calls itself ‘scar’ but is

[silence]

UNKNOWN: is lost one more appropriate

UNKNOWN: bloodied glass-grit

UNKNOWN: martyr virgil

UNKNOWN: final sacrifice

SCAR: Those are all terrible.

UNKNOWN: you are yet to suggest better names

SCAR: My name! Scar! Call me Scar!

UNKNOWN: we do not use names

UNKNOWN: we will not use names

SCAR: Will my friends ever come back?

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself

SCAR: It’s a yes or no question!

UNKNOWN: there is no one answer

UNKNOWN: which of the ones you call ‘friends’ do you mean

SCAR: I—I don’t know! Cub? Tell me about Cub!

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘cub’ has been compromised

UNKNOWN: it has been eradicated

SCAR: WHAT?

UNKNOWN: it has been eradicated

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘cub’ cannot be found

UNKNOWN: it has met an angel and made alive impiety

SCAR: What—what’s im—imp-eye—ugh!

UNKNOWN: we will leave you now

UNKNOWN: you do not want aware

SCAR: No. Good. Go.

UNKNOWN: we will put you back together

SCAR: Wait—

[crack]

[muffled scream]

UNKNOWN: goodbye

UNKNOWN: goodbye

[static]

[clicking] [beeping]

[rush of air]

[gasp]

SCAR: Oh my goodness. Ugh.

[COMM: OUTGOING CALL

CALL >> GRIAN ]

[COMM: THIS USER HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED]

[COMM: OUTGOING CALL

CALL >> CUB ]

[COMM: THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST, PLEASE CHECK COMM NUMBER]

SCAR: Cub…

[sigh]

SCAR: —should tell X.

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: OUTGOING CALL

CALL >> XISUMA ]

[COMM: THIS COMM IS SILENCED, PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER OR LEAVE A MESSAGE]

[beep]

SCAR: We need to talk. It’s important. I, uh, sorry for waking you up, man. It’s… X, it’s about, well, I’m not sure what they are. But they’re here. And also, maybe threatening to kill us. Or something. If you know what being 'made aware' means, let me know, 'cause I'm pretty sure it just means being made very very dead. Like, no respawn. Which sucks. So. Yeah. Just… call me back? Or come over here. We're not doing anything. Should I tell Mumbo and Impulse? Oh my goodness.

[beep]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: J#001]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

[light humming]

[footsteps]

BDUBS: HEY!

JOE: Howdy?

BDUBS: Uh, sorry, usually that makes people freak.

JOE: We can do a re-take, if ya like.

BDUBS: No thanks.

[whirring]

[breathing]

BDUBS: Are you… good?

JOE: Oh, this old thing? Don’t even worry about it! You make your own air, right?

BDUBS: Uh, I guess.

[hum]

BDUBS: Where’s Cleo?

JOE: Where’s Etho?

BDUBS: Ah, I see. I see what you’re doing.

[muffled laugh]

JOE: So, what can I do for you?

BDUBS: I, uh, wanted to talk to you… about. Well.

JOE: Yeah?

BDUBS: Moon’s weird.

JOE: I think we gathered.

BDUBS: Mhm. But, it’s—it’s an eye.

JOE: Yuh-huh.

[snap]

BDUBS: You DO know something!

JOE: I promise you, I haven’t the faintest—

BDUBS: That’s such CRAP, Joe!

JOE: Alright.

BDUBS: You know something about the moon, and you’re not saying it.

JOE: It—well, I can’t be sure.

BDUBS: Tell me! This could be important! Why didn’t you tell Xisuma?

JOE: I don’t think it’s all that relevant, truly. Y’all know more than I do at this point.

BDUBS: What? We know nothing. Literally nothing!

[silence]

[crackling]

JOE: Okay. Alright. I’ll explain it. But… trust me, it’s nothin’ special.

BDUBS: Yes!

JOE: What Etho said about the eye, well, it just reminded me of somethin’ else. That’s all.

BDUBS: Of what?

JOE: Just somethin’ I read about sometime in the past. Y’know. Myths and legends type of thing.

BDUBS: Uhuh?

JOE: They’re called… Watchers.

[crackling]

JOE: I’m bein’ an idiot. They can’t be real.

BDUBS: No, no, if you—whatever you believe.

JOE: Y’know I don’t often get all… like this?

BDUBS: I’m glad you trust me to—

JOE: Sure. Anyway, Watchers. Supposedly they can look into servers like, well, like watchin’ a movie. So I just thought, maybe if we think about it, that’s them. But they can’t interact with us, so, not likely, yeah?

BDUBS: Is that who the podcasts are for?

JOE: Huh? Oh, no.

BDUBS: Okay then.

JOE: Is… that it?

BDUBS: Yeah. I think—I’m gonna tell X.

JOE: Be my guest! See ya around.

BDUBS: Thanks, man.

[footsteps]

JOE: Hm.

[crackling]

JOE: —can’t be… no, no… unless…

[static]

JOE: Just a myth. Surely.

[silence]

[birds singing]

[static]

JOE: Oh, dang! I forgot all about y’all! Ah, well, until next time y'all, this is Joe Hills from Nashville, Tennessee... keep adventuring!

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

PEARL: No.

XISUMA: I’m recording every meeting we have about this.

PEARL: Why? This is—it’s a private matter!

XISUMA: In case we need evidence later… or—

CUB: Or we all die horribly and someone wants to know how it happened.

PEARL: X, will you please tell Cub that if he talks to me again I’ll stab him?

XISUMA: Hey, Cub.

CUB: I got it. Man, if you—

XISUMA: Don’t touch me.

[silence]

GRIAN: Ooookay. Right! Pearl, you, uh, you know why you’re here.

PEARL: I already said no, Griba.

GRIAN: Uhuh, but, okay, you haven’t really heard me out here.

PEARL: Whatever weird powers you wanna give me, you can find someone else.

GRIAN: But—I don’t trust anyone else!

XISUMA: I’m just gonna leave this over here and, uh… go.

[thunk]

CUB: Take me with you.

XISUMA: No.

[footsteps]

GRIAN: Pearl, come on. I mean, I know this is hard for you, okay? Feels impossible. I wouldn’t ask if there were other options.

PEARL: You’re sounding an awful lot like him.

CUB: Hey!

GRIAN: That… isn’t fair.

PEARL: Sorry.

GRIAN: If we don’t do this, this whole world—it’ll be gone! Boom, bang, bash, gone. And it’ll probably hurt a lot too. Just… please?

[silence]

GRIAN: What happened sucked, trust me, I get it. But I’m being serious! You won’t—It won’t be permanent. Nothing’s gonna change.

PEARL: How can you be sure?

GRIAN: Because it’s my magic.

CUB: Does anyone else taste something… sweet?

PEARL: I thought I told you to—

GRIAN: No sweeter than anger.

PEARL: What’s that even mean?

CUB: It’s…

GRIAN: Never mind. Pearl, give me an answer.

[silence]

[clicking]

PEARL: Fine. But if I go all Watcher-y I’m never letting you live it down.

GRIAN: Thank you.

PEARL: Ugh. Do we have to? Are you sure?

GRIAN: I could get someone else, but you’re the one I trust. If you really can’t, then—

PEARL: No. I can.

GRIAN: Once Mumbo’s finished upgrading your comm, I’ll transfer what I can. You’re gonna need a couple prototype potions to help.

PEARL: None with—I’m not drinking your feathers.

GRIAN: You think I’d let them get that close again?

CUB: I did what was necessary to—

[static]

GRIAN: I’d suggest shutting up a bit.

CUB: Yeah, fair enough.

PEARL: Can we turn that thing off, now?

GRIAN: Uh, probably? I dunno if X cares, like, if we mess with it.

CUB: No, for real, does no one else taste that?

PEARL: Shh.

GRIAN: This looks easy enough.

PEARL: Oh boy.

GRIAN: I’m not that bad with technology.

[tapping]

GRIAN: Got it!

CUB: It’s almost like—

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: D#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: It’s running?

DOC: Of course.

XISUMA: Good. The memory thing’s been bothering more than I’d like to admit.

DOC: And the… monsters?

XISUMA: No one’s changed back again since Ren recovered. I think it’s fine.

DOC: Ren’s hand. Is—has that happened to anyone else?

XISUMA: No, thank goodness. It might’ve been some other force.

DOC: Hm. Alright.

XISUMA: You wanted me to see something?

DOC: These documents. I… they shouldn’t be out here lying about. No. They are too important.

XISUMA: Cub’s work? But—

DOC: Read it. I think we have the key.

XISUMA: I’ll give it a look? You know I can’t read vex…

DOC: It will translate.

XISUMA: Oh.

DOC: It has a lot of sensitive information, X. I would have told you sooner if I had known.

XISUMA: No worries, mate! I’m sure—

DOC: You can’t let anyone else see this. The others, they’ll panic. We could be heading for total destruction. They can’t know.

XISUMA: You think we can stop it?

DOC: Read it yourself, and tell me.

XISUMA: I’ll keep you posted.

DOC: And… we should talk to Scar.

XISUMA: That’s a rare thing to hear from you, Doc.

DOC: He’s been, well, I wrote it down at the end of the documents.

XISUMA: We’ll have a chat with him the first chance I get.

DOC: Better make it soon.

XISUMA: I will.

DOC: We can save them. We will.

[silence]

XISUMA: Whatever it is you found, I’ll put a stop to it. I promise.

DOC: Thank you.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION ON, SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTED, SENDING ALERT TO COMM GE#001 ]

UNKNOWN USER: Ughhh.

[COMM: AUTOMATIC VOICE MATCHING…

PLAYER FOUND: GRIAN ]

GRIAN: Hello? Any—oh, wow—anyone there?

[fabric shifting]

GRIAN: Keralis? Pearl?

[cough]

GRIAN: Uh… thanks for the blanket, guys? Mind being visible for a second? I can’t—

[sniff]

GRIAN: Oh. I mean. I can See you. How—how do I turn that off again?

[footsteps]

PEARL: You’re awake!

GRIAN: Hi.

PEARL: Do you realise how much of a scare you gave us?

GRIAN: Can you not move around so much?

PEARL: Gem’s comm alerted as soon as you woke up, so I’m gonna assume you haven’t been waiting too long. You okay, G?

GRIAN: Just dandy.

[cough]

PEARL: You were glowing, y’know. A bit unusual, I’d say.

GRIAN: No one touched me, right?

[silence]

GRIAN: Right?

PEARL: Someone had to get you on the couch.

GRIAN: Who?

PEARL: Gem managed on her own.

GRIAN: Where is she?

PEARL: Asleep. Oh, yeah, False and Beef showed up while you were out! Or, um, False is kinda… weird… right now, but Beef’s here. Gave me back my comm, too.

[tapping]

GRIAN: That’s… you lost your comm?

PEARL: I forget you just ran off when you saw me.

GRIAN: Not your fault. Bad day.

PEARL: Why were you glowing?

GRIAN: I—

PEARL: And don’t give me some nothing answer, you hear me? You’re better than that, Gri.

GRIAN: Ugh.

PEARL: No attitude, either.

GRIAN: I can’t tell you.

PEARL: What did I just say?

GRIAN: It’s personal.

PEARL: Personal? Uh, news flash, you were glowing! That sounds pretty dang important to me, and if it’s dangerous—

GRIAN: I’m not dangerous.

PEARL: Really?

GRIAN: Pearl.

PEARL: Really?

GRIAN: Yes! I—I’m not dangerous! Oh my goodness, Pearl, can you leave me alone for five minutes?

PEARL: You’ve been lying to me, haven’t you?

GRIAN: You don’t have to know everything about me.

PEARL: No! You haven’t acted like this since—since—

GRIAN: Just say it.

PEARL: Since Evo.

[silence]

[static]

GRIAN: Okay. So what?

PEARL: I wish you’d talk to me. When They took you…

[hum]

GRIAN: The stars are going out, Pearl.

PEARL: I know.

GRIAN: There are more important things.

[silence]

PEARL: Fine. But if something bad happens to Gem, I’m blaming you, mister.

GRIAN: Yeah. Whatever.

[footsteps]

[thud]

[muffled tapping]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: S#002]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

SCAR: Well hello there.

DOC: CRAP! Scar, don’t do that to me, man!

[laughter]

SCAR: You shoulda seen your face!

DOC: You are a menace.

SCAR: Ah, ah, ah. Anything you say can and will be, uh, what do people say? It’ll be on my comm, anyway.

DOC: Clever.

SCAR: Oh, I’ve just been recording everything. Can’t forget what you write down, right?

DOC: You aren’t writing anything.

SCAR: I meant—oh! Are we going to the Perimeter?

DOC: I’m going to check on Ren.

SCAR: Of course, of course. Can I come?

DOC: Whatever, man.

SCAR: Ah-mazin’!

[footsteps]

DOC: I found some of Cub’s research.

SCAR: Really? I couldn’t make sense of it.

DOC: You—are you kidding me? You knew all along?

SCAR: Hm? Didn’t I say?

DOC: Anyway. It’s with X now. He’s getting us out of this. And no one else needs to get involved.

SCAR: That’s great. Wasn’t it all in vex? Oh my goodness, do you know vex too?

DOC: Uh, no. It translated automatically.

SCAR: Oh.

DOC: Sorry?

SCAR: No, no, it’s fine! Hey, did I tell you about Mumbo’s theory?

DOC: I—don’t think so?

SCAR: Well! It’s totally interesting, you should—

DOC: We’re here.

SCAR: Uh.

[footsteps]

[knocking]

DOC: Ren? I’m back. Scar’s here.

[silence]

[footsteps]

SCAR: Y’know, I always liked this build. Sandstone’s so underused.

DOC: Shh.

SCAR: Hey, I’m only—

DOC: Shut up, man! Listen.

[silence]

[tapping]

[faint clicking]

DOC: You hear that?

SCAR: No?

DOC: Something’s above us. On the first floor.

SCAR: Second floor.

DOC: Not the time.

SCAR: What is it? A skeleton?

DOC: No, no, it sounds like…

[scratching]

[clicking]

DOC: Claws.

SCAR: You mean—

DOC: Stay behind me.

SCAR: What? We need to go. Now.

DOC: I’m not leaving him again.

SCAR: Are you crazy?

[growling]

[footsteps]

DOC: Don’t follow me if you care so much, man.

SCAR: Of course I’m gonna follow you!

[footsteps]

DOC: Ren? Ren, are you okay up here?

[snarling]

[bark]

DOC: Ren.

SCAR: We should go.

DOC: No.

SCAR: Doc, he’s gonna see us.

DOC: I don’t care.

SCAR: Please.

DOC: Ren—it’s me. I’m here.

[growling]

[barking]

[scratching]

SCAR: Nope. We aren’t gonna do this.

DOC: Where are you—oh, come on.

SCAR: We’re going and you’re comin’ with me, mister.

DOC: No!

[barking]

[thud]

SCAR: Now, Doc!

[hissing]

SCAR: Doc!

[barking] [footsteps]

[scratching]

[hissing]

SCAR: Wait—

[scream] [cracking]

[crunch]

[COMM: CRITICAL PRESSURE LEVELS DETECTED]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: M#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

MUMBO: Hello.

GRIAN: You… why’re you recording?

MUMBO: I thought that was procedure.

GRIAN: At least look at me.

MUMBO: I’m working.

GRIAN: How’s it going?

MUMBO: Nearly there, I think. Obviously I have no idea if it’ll actually work. It could explode and take Pearl with it, for all I know.

[clicking] [tapping]

MUMBO: Why are you here, exactly?

GRIAN: Can’t I just check up on you?

MUMBO: No. Did you ask Xisuma?

GRIAN: I don’t need his permission—

MUMBO: If I wanted an audience, I’d ask for one. Are you going to stand there all day judging me or can I get on with what I’m doing?

GRIAN: You can take a break.

MUMBO: Sorry, you do realise the world might end any second now, right? I have got that correct?

GRIAN: I know, but—you’re all weird! You get weird when you’re stressed and—I dunno.

MUMBO: Why do you care?

GRIAN: I—

[thunk]

MUMBO: No, I mean it. Seriously, why do you care? I—I could’ve killed you! I was so stupid! Why do you care?

[silence]

[laugh]

MUMBO: When this is all over, if we don’t die, I’m leaving.

GRIAN: You can’t.

MUMBO: I’ll get banned anyway, who cares?

GRIAN: I do.

MUMBO: You shouldn’t.

GRIAN: I’ve had enough of you telling me what to do, y’know! You can’t just leave. I’d miss you.

MUMBO: What, do you have Stockholm syndrome or something? How can you possibly—

GRIAN: I love you, you idiot!

[silence]

[crackling]

GRIAN: I’m still mad at you. I dunno when I’m gonna stop being mad at you. But I love you, and you’re a spoon, and you didn’t—there wasn’t any other way.

MUMBO: There was. Don’t say that. Don’t—you can’t just say that.

GRIAN: I know.

MUMBO: I hurt you, on purpose. Totally of my own choice. I didn’t even question it.

GRIAN: And I don’t forgive you yet.

MUMBO: You don’t have to forgive me ever.

GRIAN: I want to. Can’t unless you forgive yourself.

[silence]

GRIAN: So get on with it.

MUMBO: It’s not that easy. You—you said—I can’t believe that’s…

GRIAN: I love you. There. Now I’ve said it three times.

MUMBO: Why did it have to happen now?

GRIAN: It didn’t.

MUMBO: Then—

GRIAN: I just thought you loved me back. We had a thing. We didn’t need to say stuff.

MUMBO: I do! I do…

GRIAN: Funny way of showing it.

MUMBO: I always thought… well, Scar.

GRIAN: Oh.

MUMBO: Is that not… um.

GRIAN: No. Yes? It—y’know what? It’s kinda complicated.

MUMBO: Nothing like us, then.

[laugh]

GRIAN: Yeah, not us. We’re super uncomplicated.

MUMBO: And so is this comm.

GRIAN: And Cub’s theories.

MUMBO: All totally understandable and easy to explain.

GRIAN: It’s actually quite simple.

MUMBO: No, you can’t steal that!

GRIAN: I steal what I want. Borrow. Sorry, it lagged into my brain.

[laughter]

MUMBO: I… wow.

GRIAN: Yeah?

MUMBO: We are so messed up.

GRIAN: Nah.

MUMBO: I’m being serious. What if we can’t get past this? What if your code decays?

GRIAN: Let’s… let’s not talk about it. I don’t wanna.

MUMBO: Okay. Alright. We won’t.

GRIAN: I—

MUMBO: I love you.

GRIAN: That’s good.

[silence]

MUMBO: Oh my gosh.

GRIAN: What?

MUMBO: I recorded all of that.

[laughter]

GRIAN: SERIOUSLY?

MUMBO: Do we have to use this as evidence, now?

GRIAN: What, after we save the world?

MUMBO: Xisuma said something about a trial.

GRIAN: Well, this is pretty good evidence, Mumbo.

MUMBO: I’m deleting it. Immediately. This is so embarrassing.

GRIAN: Hm, well, I think it’s worth keeping.

[clicking]

MUMBO: Whatever you say.

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: RECORDING SETTINGS

>> SELECT RECORDING >> RECORD#1673

>> DELETE RECORDING >>

>> 

>> 

>> DELETE RECORDING >> NO]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: Z#001]

[COMM: OUTGOING CALL

CALL >> TANGO ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS X TO STOP RECORDING]

ZEDAPH: Is it working? Is it?

TANGO: Hearing you loud and clear!

IMPULSE: Woah, you really did that, huh?

TANGO: I did!

ZEDAPH: This is brilliant. Now we can call again—maybe we can try some of the off-worlders?

TANGO: Do I have to go-ahead to venture further?

ZEDAPH: Absolutely, my friend.

IMPULSE: This is kinda the worst idea any of us have ever—

ZEDAPH: Doubt that.

IMPULSE: Okay, the worst idea we’ve had in a while.

TANGO: I wanna finish Decked Out Two and I’m gonna finish Decked Out Two.

IMPULSE: None of us can see anything. How—how are you doing redstone?

TANGO: I can do it. This maze is my maze, right? If anyone can navigate, I can. I’m gonna redstonificate every last block in this place!

ZEDAPH: That’s the spirit! We’ll be on the comm the whole time, anyway. Nothing to worry about.

IMPULSE: You’re gonna regret that when he gets lost.

ZEDAPH: We’ll just dig straight down until we find him.

TANGO: No digging in Decked Out! You just wanna see level four!

ZEDAPH: It is literally all void textures.

IMPULSE: This is gonna go so well, guys.

ZEDAPH: Uhuh. Hey, d’you think this could be a Zedvancement?

IMPULSE: No. Wait, how?

TANGO: Hey—

ZEDAPH: Navigating Decked Out’s redstone maze while blind. We could call it something like… uh…

IMPULSE: Yeah. No.

ZEDAPH: Hey, just an idea. I liked the one where I disagreed with everything.

IMPULSE: No one liked that.

ZEDAPH: Agree to disagree.

IMPULSE: What?

ZEDAPH: Oh, remind me I need to find Xisuma, later. Or—oh, I can call him, now! This is great.

IMPULSE: Well, thank Tango for that.

ZEDAPH: Aw, you helped.

IMPULSE: I gathered redstone. Actually, some of it was gunpowder. We nearly exploded the comm.

ZEDAPH: They’re a very similar texture. Right?

[silence]

ZEDAPH: Uh, right, Tango?

IMPULSE: Oh jeez.

ZEDAPH: Taaaango?

[tapping]

ZEDAPH: Did it break already?

IMPULSE: No, it’s still running.

ZEDAPH: Tango? Can you hear us?

IMPULSE: You there, buddy?

[silence]

ZEDAPH: Uhoh.

IMPULSE: You think the redstone might’ve—

[rockets]

[thud]

XISUMA: Are you two alright? What’re you doing here?

IMPULSE: Xisuma!

ZEDAPH: We’re helping Tango.

XISUMA: And… where is Tango? My coords are correct, yeah? We are at Decked Out?

ZEDAPH: Um.

IMPULSE: Y’see.

ZEDAPH: He’s kind of… in Decked Out.

XISUMA: What?

IMPULSE: Yeah, so, the thing is, he wanted to finish it.

ZEDAPH: And—and he just got done fixing our comms, so we can call each other and make sure he doesn’t get lost again!

XISUMA: Oh, Cleo fixed theirs, as well…

ZEDAPH: Anyway! He’s meant to be answering with his comm, right now, but for some reason the line’s gone dead.

IMPULSE: No, that’s what I’m saying. The line’s normal. Tango’s just quiet.

XISUMA: I—for how long? When did he stop responding?

IMPULSE: Uh, like, five minutes ago? Give or take?

XISUMA: Oh for goodness—I’m teleporting him back here.

ZEDAPH: Wait, didn’t you say that might tear someone in half? I’m pretty sure I remember you saying that.

XISUMA: It’s a better chance than suffocating to death.

IMPULSE: Huh?

XISUMA: Are you lightheaded, either of you?

ZEDAPH: No?

IMPULSE: Now that you mention it…

XISUMA: Right. Give me a minute.

[clicking]

[beeping]

[loud thud]

ZEDAPH: Tango!

IMPULSE: Wh—what’s wrong with him?

XISUMA: The world’s oxygen levels keep dropping. Tango’s built for the thick air in the Nether—and so are you, Impulse.

IMPULSE: Oh…

[click]

[mechanical whirring]

XISUMA: I’ve adapted my spare rebreathers to help manage the new thin air, but… it’ll only work if there’s oxygen to filter. Zed, we need an answer. Now.

ZEDAPH: I found some more information, but it’s not—I don’t know if it’ll be useful.

XISUMA: Better than nothing, right? Take these. Put them on when it gets hard to breathe. And, here, in case you meet anyone else.

[thunk]

[clank]

ZEDAPH: Thank you.

[coughing] [whirring]

IMPULSE: Tango? Are you—

TANGO: What the hell happened?

XISUMA: You two can explain?

IMPULSE: Yeah. Yeah, we can.

[footsteps]

XISUMA: Alright. I have more hermits to find.

ZEDAPH: Stop. Hold on. Are you doing okay?

XISUMA: Me?

ZEDAPH: Yes. This is all so much. You haven’t had a chance to just relax, have you?

XISUMA: I still don’t know why this happened, or how to fix it, and now everyone might suffocate if I don’t get to them quick enough.

ZEDAPH: Do you want to go lie down or something? We can—

XISUMA: I have too much to do. I’m sorry.

ZEDAPH: But this isn’t healthy. You know it isn’t.

XISUMA: I’m fine.

[silence]

ZEDAPH: If you say so.

XISUMA: Thanks for the offer!

[rockets]

IMPULSE: What was that about?

ZEDAPH: Nothing, nothing.

TANGO: You’re echoing in my dang ears.

ZEDAPH: Oh! The call!

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

[COMM: POWERING UP]

[COMM: AUDIO DETECTION ON, SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

BEEF: —arl. Pearl? You here?

PEARL: Beef, what’s up?

BEEF: So, I, uh, wanted to talk about something.

PEARL: Right, right.

BEEF: It’s about… Cub? I guess?

PEARL: Explain.

BEEF: When I ran into False—I mean, after she stopped trying to kill me—I asked if she could lead me here, to you. Uh, and she did, obviously.

PEARL: Yeah?

BEEF: But first thing she did was take me somewhere else.

PEARL: Oh.

BEEF: Turns out, it was Cub’s lab? Which—I don’t know if you guys knew about that?

PEARL: We did not.

BEEF: Right, so, Cub wasn’t there. He might not be anywhere, actually.

PEARL: What?

BEEF: It’s complicated?

PEARL: Excuse me?

BEEF: We—listen, I know I’ve been kind of a recluse this season, ‘cause of, you know, TCG, and stuff. We don’t talk. But I wouldn’t lie about this. I can transfer everything I found to your comm, if you want.

PEARL: Will that explain anything?

BEEF: I don’t know. Do you believe in [static]

PEARL: Ah.

BEEF: Well?

PEARL: I think I do. Didn’t… I didn’t, until recently. The thing is, I might be from a [static] myself? Don’t tell the others that.

BEEF: Well. This’ll help with that.

PEARL: Sure. Go on, then.

[COMM: DATA TRANSFER SETTINGS

>> RECEIVE NOTE DATA >> YES

>> TRANSFER FROM >> LOCAL PAIRING

SCANNING FOR COMMS…

>> PAIRING FOUND

>> CONNECT >> VINTAGEBEEF

TRANSFERRING DATA…

COMM: TRANSFER COMPLETE]

PEARL: Should I be worried?

BEEF: I wasn’t a super pleasant read.

PEARL: Is Cub okay?

[silence]

PEARL: I see.

BEEF: If there really are [static] where do you think our Pearl went?

PEARL: Your Pearl?

BEEF: Yeah, sorry.

PEARL: I dunno. Hope it’s not lonely. I’d hate to be alone right now.

BEEF: It’s only been a few days, but I’m already settled, y’know?

PEARL: Like we’ve been here our whole lives.

BEEF: Just missing people.

PEARL: I miss Impulse. Mumbo and Scar, too. At least Gem’s here. And… yeah.

BEEF: Man, I feel the same way about xB. And, hey, at least Keralis is here. He misses Xisuma more than he’s letting on.

PEARL: I can tell.

[silence]

PEARL: We will get back to them.

BEEF: That’s the spirit!

PEARL: Yeah, no more down-in-the-dumps Pearl. We’ve got stuff to be doing!

[laugh]

PEARL: Now come on, let’s go see if Keralis has caught a single fish yet.

BEEF: I bet False caught ‘em all.

[laughter]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#005]

[COMM: SYSTEM RECORDING, RECORDING START]

XISUMA: All set.

CUB: Brilliant. Pearl?

PEARL: Xisuma, tell Cub—

XISUMA: Are you ready?

PEARL: Yeah. I guess.

GRIAN: You don’t… have to do this.

PEARL: What other choice do we have?

GRIAN: I could find someone else. This... it's dangerous.

PEARL: I’m fine, Gri.

CUB: Can we hurry this up, please?

XISUMA: Never thought I’d find myself agreeing with you.

GRIAN: Oh, shut up.

PEARL: Stop fussing. I’ll be alright.

GRIAN: I don’t wanna hurt you.

PEARL: You couldn’t. You’re in control of your powers. Trust me?

XISUMA: We can wait for Mumbo, or—

GRIAN: No. The… the transfer can’t wait. We’ll do it now.

XISUMA: Should we leave?

[silence]

PEARL: Griba?

GRIAN: Uh! Sorry, yes. Yeah, you should get out. Or, y’know, bad things.

CUB: That’s good enough for me.

XISUMA: Indeed.

[footsteps]

[static]

CUB: D’you think it’ll work?

XISUMA: Yep.

[crackling]

CUB: We shouldn’t be so close, should we?

[silence] [static]

CUB: Should we?

XISUMA: I went through some of the records on this comm.

CUB: Uhuh?

XISUMA: You said you tasted something sweet. Has that been an ongoing issue?

CUB: I s’pose so.

XISUMA: It’s metal. Iron.

CUB: Huh?

[crackling]

[AUDIO DISTORTED]

XISUMA: —blood. The first thing you notice when…

CUB: When what?

XISUMA: I think you’re well aware.

CUB: Code decay.

XISUMA: Yeah.

[hum]

[static]

CUB: Not sure what I expected, spending all that time around an open core.

XISUMA: Right.

CUB: That’s not all, is it?

XISUMA: You tell me.

CUB: What’re you thinking, man?

[silence]

[crackling]

[static]

XISUMA: You look younger.

[silence]

[footsteps]

GRIAN: It’s done. It—it worked!

[laugh]

GRIAN: Oh my goodness, it worked.

XISUMA: I’ll speak to Pearl. You two… don’t kill each other, alright?

GRIAN: No promises.

[footsteps]

[tapping]

XISUMA: Pearl?

PEARL: Oh, hey Xisuma.

XISUMA: How’re you feeling?

PEARL: Um… buzz-y? Like, y’know when you get pins and needles?

XISUMA: That sounds unpleasant.

PEARL: Not at all! I feel powerful. It’s nice, actually.

XISUMA: Ah. Good, good. Now—

[footsteps]

XISUMA: Oh, well, never mind all that. I think…

MUMBO: Hello? Sorry, the others said you were in here.

XISUMA: Mumbo! You have the modded comm?

MUMBO: It’s right here.

PEARL: Thanks.

[cough]

MUMBO: Uh, I can… go.

XISUMA: We need you here in case anything goes wrong. Just go sit in the corner?

MUMBO: Okay.

[footsteps]

CUB: Are we ready?

GRIAN: Pearl, you’re still good, right?

PEARL: Yes, yes, stop asking.

GRIAN: I’m just checking!

PEARL: I know.

XISUMA: Okay, Pearl, the comm.

PEARL: Will-do.

XISUMA: You should have access to world-jumps just like Cub did, right there on the screen. We’ll be on call the whole time, we hope—

MUMBO: I tried my best.

PEARL: What if I can’t hear you? What if it doesn’t work?

XISUMA: You—

CUB: You come home, and we figure out another way to do this. I can’t—you can’t get lost in another [static] Pearl.

XISUMA: If you want to continue the mission, you can. You know what you’re looking for.

PEARL: Is there anything else I need to know? Like, in those time-travel books they have all those rules about not stepping on butterflies, and stuff.

CUB: This isn’t time travel. Well, not significant time travel. The other [static] are in various stages on the timeline. Things are different in each one.

PEARL: Alright.

CUB: The only rule, uh, well, aside from killing people? Probably try not to kill anyone. That’d be… bad.

GRIAN: Really?

CUB: Shut up. Jeez. The more important rule is to avoid contact with your alternative selves. You can’t hear them, see them, shoot, I think touching them might kill us all. Just don’t.

PEARL: Is that likely to happen?

CUB: Uh.

XISUMA: Let’s not worry too much about that.

GRIAN: Famous last words…

PEARL: You fill me with confidence.

CUB: Ready for the first jump?

PEARL: Uhuh. First one on the screen, right?

MUMBO: Should be.

CUB: Remember to call us when you get there.

PEARL: For the record, I still hate you.

CUB: Yeah, yeah.

[clicking]

CUB: Ready to jump in three…

[static]

CUB: Two…

[crackling]

CUB: One. Good luck.

[static]

[AUDIO DISTORTED]

[COMM: RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

---

[COMM RECORD: X#001]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM MUMBO ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS X TO STOP RECORDING]

[muffled thud]

XISUMA: Hello? Mumbo? Everything okay?

[shuffling fabric]

XISUMA: Mumbo? I’m heading over.

[shuffling fabric]

[crackling]

[rockets firing]

XISUMA: Uh, I’m outside your base. Are you there?

[knocking]

XISUMA: Alright, I’m coming in.

[pistons moving]

[thud]

[scream]

XISUMA: Oh!

MUMBO: Xisuma—I—oh gosh.

SCAR: Well hello there—

[thunk]

SCAR: Ow! Hey!

MUMBO: Move.

XISUMA: I… think you butt-dialed me.

MUMBO: I am so sorry.

XISUMA: No. No, it’s fine. I needed to see you, anyway. Both of you! So, uh.

SCAR: It was what it looked like.

MUMBO: Scar! It wasn’t. Genuinely—

XISUMA: I don’t need to know.

MUMBO: He was trying to steal my redstone, even though he can’t see it, and has no idea how to use it.

SCAR: Oh, yeah, if we were gonna kiss I’d be in a totally different position—

[thunk]

SCAR: Ow!

XISUMA: Uh, that’s fine. I’m just glad everyone’s clothed, really.

MUMBO: It’s not—okay. Well, I can be mortified beyond belief later. What is it you wanted?

XISUMA: Not to dampen the mood or anything, but we may be running out of oxygen.

SCAR: Oh?

XISUMA: Not you, Scar. I—I think you should be fine? Your medical aids are enchanted, yes?

SCAR: They sure are. Best enchants this side of the void.

XISUMA: Mumbo, you’ll need one of these.

[thud]

[metallic clunk]

MUMBO: Thank you?

XISUMA: Make sure you wear it. So you don’t die.

MUMBO: Great! That’s reassuring.

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM JOEHILLS ]

XISUMA: I’m getting another call, can you—you’ll be fine on your own, won’t you?

MUMBO: Yes.

SCAR: Oh we’ll be fine.

MUMBO: Scar!

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS X TO STOP RECORDING]

[rockets firing]

XISUMA: Joe? Everything okay?

JOE: Howdy X! Can ya come over anytime soon?

XISUMA: Already on my way. Or… I think I am? It’s kind of impossible to tell.

JOE: Yeah, uh, Etho’s here and there’s been a development—

XISUMA: I’ll be there in a second.

JOE: Great! See you soon!

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: POWERING DOWN]

Chapter Text

[COMM RECORD: S#003]

[COMM: INCOMING CALL FROM XISUMA ]

[COMM: RECORDING FOR POSTERITY, PRESS 9 TO STOP RECORDING]

SCAR: You got my message?

XISUMA: Scar, who on earth have you been talking to?

SCAR: I told you, I told you, I don’t know!

XISUMA: Well, what did they look like?

SCAR: Oh. Uh, sort of… void-y?

XISUMA: Scar.

SCAR: I don’t know!

XISUMA: I—are you safe?

SCAR: Yes?

XISUMA: That shouldn’t be a question.

SCAR: I’m fine, I’m fine!

XISUMA: Are they there with you now?

SCAR: No.

XISUMA: I’m on my way.

SCAR: Wait, you—now hold on—you don’t have to—

XISUMA: Scar, I’m not that much of a derp.

SCAR: But… I’m fine. Really, X!

XISUMA: You aren’t.

SCAR: How would you know?

[silence]

SCAR: Sorry, sorry.

XISUMA: In your message, you told me to come over.

SCAR: I did?

XISUMA: Yes. I’m nearly there. Boatem’s looking quiet.

SCAR: Of course it is.

[rockets firing, distant]

SCAR: I can hear you now.

XISUMA: Good, good. I’m coming in to land, hold on.

[rockets firing]

[thud]

XISUMA: Suppose we should put down the comms, huh?

SCAR: Oh, right.

[COMM: CALL DISCONNECTED, RECORDING END]

[COMM: AUTOMATIC RECORD SYSTEMS, CAPTURING ENVIRONMENT SOUND]

[metal thunk]

XISUMA: You… weren’t alone.

SCAR: No.

XISUMA: Thanks.

SCAR: It’s not my fault.

XISUMA: I know.

SCAR: Do—will you talk to them?

XISUMA: Are you serious?

SCAR: Please?

[silence]

[sigh]

XISUMA: Sure.

[door creaks]

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘xisumavoid’

UNKNOWN: good morning

XISUMA: Morning.

UNKNOWN: you are the one which calls itself ‘xisumavoid’

UNKNOWN: we shall call you stranded cecilia

XISUMA: Clever.

SCAR: They’re always like this. I tried to tell them—

XISUMA: Let me deal with it.

SCAR: Oh.

[silence]

UNKNOWN: we will make an angel

XISUMA: You most certainly will not.

UNKNOWN: we have made angels

UNKNOWN: you cannot stop transubstantiation

XISUMA: I’m aware.

UNKNOWN: you are not aware

UNKNOWN: you will be made aware

XISUMA: I’m plenty aware, thanks. You’ve done enough damage ‘round here already.

UNKNOWN: you speak as if you know us

UNKNOWN: we know you, stranded cecilia

XISUMA: ‘Stranded’ because—what? —I’m not home? And then, Cecilia, she suffocated, didn’t she? You’re not as subtle as I remember.

UNKNOWN: you find another name more appropriate

XISUMA: You call me Xisuma, or you don’t call me anything.

UNKNOWN: we do not use names

XISUMA: I know.

SCAR: What d’you mean, you know?

XISUMA: Great Unknowns, you know better than to butt into our lives here. You caused enough trouble the first time, didn’t you?

UNKNOWN: we made an angel

UNKNOWN: you rejected our gifts

UNKNOWN: we made an angel

UNKNOWN: you have committed blasphemy against us

UNKNOWN: we made an angel

XISUMA: I know.

SCAR: What are you talking about?

XISUMA: Why are you here?

UNKNOWN: you have brought about reckoning

XISUMA: I haven’t done anything.

UNKNOWN: there has been a fracture

UNKNOWN: unholy stigmata bleeding through walls

XISUMA: A fracture?

SCAR: X, please, you can’t—

UNKNOWN: there has been made a tear

UNKNOWN: the wall crumbles

UNKNOWN: this world is unimportant

XISUMA: Brilliant.

SCAR: This world?

UNKNOWN: our angel is no longer

UNKNOWN: our angel is gone into fracture

XISUMA: The reset.

UNKNOWN: no one of which calls itself ‘player’ can escape

XISUMA: We figured that one out a while ago. Thanks for that.

SCAR: Did they block our comms? Is that why we can’t leave?

XISUMA: I don’t think so.

SCAR: Where are the others?

XISUMA: Don’t ask them that.

SCAR: Why not?

UNKNOWN: the ones which call itself ‘hermit’ wished

UNKNOWN: we answer and make aware those ones who wish

XISUMA: Oh, idiots.

SCAR: Huh?

XISUMA: Scar, what did you wish for?

SCAR: Wh—I didn’t!

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘pearl’ wished for understanding

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘cub’ wished for knowledge

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘beef’ wished for time

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘false’ wished for strength

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘keralis’

XISUMA: No. He wouldn’t. He knows—

UNKNOWN: wished for love

XISUMA: Oh.

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘gem’ wished for safety

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘grian’

UNKNOWN: the one which

[silence]

XISUMA: Tell me.

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself ‘grian’ wished for undoing

UNKNOWN: un-making

XISUMA: Of course.

SCAR: What do they mean? Are the others safe? Come on, X.

XISUMA: I… I’m sorry.

SCAR: They’re okay, right? They’ve gotta be okay.

XISUMA: I don’t—

UNKNOWN: do you wish for re-making

XISUMA: No.

UNKNOWN: we will re-make you

UNKNOWN: we will make angels

XISUMA: Don’t touch me.

SCAR: Man, get out the way.

XISUMA: I’m not letting them hurt anyone.

SCAR: Xisuma.

XISUMA: Tell me how you got here. This world is safe. It’s protected.

UNKNOWN: we have already explained

UNKNOWN: there has been a fracture

UNKNOWN: the one which calls itself

UNKNOWN: we find error in the fracture

UNKNOWN: our angel cannot be reached

UNKNOWN: we cannot fulfil wishes

XISUMA: What’s a fracture? What’re you talking about?

SCAR: Get away from them, X.

UNKNOWN: there has been a fracture

UNKNOWN: a tear

UNKNOWN: we cannot fulfil wishes

XISUMA: There aren’t any angels here.

UNKNOWN: we will make new angels

XISUMA: Like hell—

SCAR: Move!

[clattering]

[thud]

XISUMA: Scar!