Chapter Text
Barry said goodbye to his parents in the in the lobby of the Truman Center. He had been informed that for the first several days, he would not be allowed any visitors. His time would be spent with addiction councilors, group therapy and therapeutic recreation. He would also be treated with medications to prevent withdraw symptoms, which he knew from literature, could be very unpleasant.
He was led to his room by one of the orderlies, a good looking Hispanic man who resembled Len’s ex-boyfriend.
“My name is Hector” he said, “we all go by first names here. I am one of the techs on this unit and I have the pleasure of having you as one of my clients.”
“Good to meet you, Hector” said Barry.
“As a member of your team I have acquainted myself with your case file, and first, let my extend you my sincere condolences on your loss. I lost my younger sister to bone cancer so I have an idea of what you are going through.”
“It’s not quite like losing the person who you though you would spend the rest of your life with” responded Barry, “but I appreciate the sentiment. To put it bluntly, I’ve been going through Hell and I have a child who depends on me. Hopefully this place and its staff will help me put my life back together.”
“You forgot to mention yourself, Mr. Allen, you are the most important member of our team.”
“Thanks, Hector, but if we are going to be team members, please call me Barry, they didn’t have very good food at the hospital so I skipped breakfast and I think it is a while till lunch.”
“Will some muffins, juice and coffee do?”
“That will be fine” answered Barry.
“I will be back in a flash” said Hector, “then I will get your things and help you get situated.”
Barry had not noticed that Hector did not have his belongings, makes sense he thought, and probably someone was making sure he didn’t have any alcohol. He couldn’t fault them for that, after all that was the reason he was here.
Hector helped Barry put his things away and told him that his therapist would come to see him in a few minutes. Barry finished his muffins and went to the bathroom to wipe his face and hands and run a comb through his hair. He sat down at the small desk and checked the drawers. He found a small journal and pen, he opened the journal and wrote the date and time on the top of the first page, he couldn’t think of anything else. There was a knock on his door, it must be the therapist.
“Come in” Barry called.
A woman in her mid-thirty’s wearing a lab coat over a tailored blue dress walked in.
“Hello Barry, my name is Julie and I will be your therapist and team leader. I hope I will be a good fit for you, but if not, you have the right to ask for a different therapist. We only want you to feel comfortable with your team.”
“It’s good to meet you, Julie” responded Barry, “I am sure we will get along famously, I know we have some time before lunch, so let’s get started.”
For the next five days, Barry participated in therapy, morning, noon and night. There were private sessions with Julie. In those sessions they would talk and discuss what he wrote in his journal. That journal helped him more than he ever thought it would. He could write things there that he wouldn’t be able to say out loud. But when Julie read those words, Barry could discuss them without fear. There was also group therapy. The other patients were middle and upper class. They had various forms of substance abuse, alcohol, cocaine and other street drugs and prescription meds. They all seemed to be good people, just like him, responding to unbearable stress, pain and loss in the only way they knew how.
It was a surprise to Barry that he also enjoyed the conversations he had with the other patients and staff. He enjoyed meal times, the planned activities and most of all, just hanging around in the rec room, either watching TV, playing board games, or just shooting the breeze. But it still came as a surprise when Julie told him that he had passed the initial phase of his treatment and he could have visitors and unlimited phone calls.
Barry was told he would be allowed two visitors a day for a maximum of sixty minutes during regular visiting hours. He was pleased to learn that Little Nora didn’t count. So he called his parents to come with Little Nora, the first day, Joe and Francine the second day and Len and Lisa the next. He knew he would have trouble sleeping that night and getting through the next day. He didn’t realize just how much he missed his family and friends.
Henry and Nora wrapped their son up in their arms with Little Nora in the middle of it all.
“My beautiful boy” cried Nora, “we’ve missed you so much.
“You’re looking great” said Henry, “I’m so happy, this was the right choice.”
Little Nora nuzzled into Barry’s neck.
“Dada, Dada” she cooed.
“Oh Barry” said Nora, “those were her first words.”
Barry hugged his daughter closer, tears falling from his eyes.
The little family spent the rest of the hour engaging in small talk, while little Nora fell asleep in Barry’s arms. The time passed too quickly and soon it was time for them to part.
“We will see you again in a few days” said Henry, “I know you have other people you want to see.”
“Thanks” said Barry, “I’m sure I will be out of here in no time, but till then, I love you and take care.”
Joe and Francine came the next evening. Joe brought Barry’s Scrabble set and Francine her yummy white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Barry munched away on those delicious morsels while beating his in-laws two out of three games.
“Are board games part of your therapy” asked Joe, “you weren’t this good before.”
“There’s a whole wall of games” answered Barry, “I’ve been playing a lot of scrabble here, and I used to play a lot with Iris.”
A small whimper escaped Barry’s lips when he said his dear wife’s name.
Francine pulled her son-in-law into an embrace.
“We all miss her so much” she said, “but it will get easier, I promise.”
Joe packed up the game.
“Damn, but that hour went fast. Never forget that we love you son and we’ll be back as much as we can.”
“But I’m sure you will be out soon” added Francine, “home with your little girl and everyone who loves you.”
The next day Barry came to the visiting area and waiting for him were Len, Lisa, and Mick.
“One of the perks of being mayor” said Len, “Lisa and I were able to bring a plus one.”
“I’m glad you did” replied Barry, “because now I can apologize to both of you for the way I acted at your wedding.”
“Oh Sweetie” said Lisa, taking Barry’s hand, “there’s nothing to apologize for, we are just so glad that you are doing better.”
“I second that” said Mick.
“It has been proposed” said Len, “and seconded and as mayor I declared it passed, now let’s get on to serious business.”
Len pulled out a deck of cards.
“I was told there can be no gambling, so I propose some games of Hearts and the one who wins the most will get these.”
Len held up a bag of red candy.
“Nellie Bellies, strawberry, raspberry, cherry and cranberry, I remember these being someone’s favorite.”
“You might as well give them to me right now” laughed Barry, “because there’s no way I will lose.”
Barry won three games of Hearts and all the Nellie Bellies. He walked his friends to the lobby and gave them each a hug.
“Thank you for coming. I hope you will come again soon.”
“Let me see if I remember how that song goes” Len started singing, “You just call out my name and you know wherever I am I'll come runnin' to see you again. Winter, spring, summer or fall all you have to do is call and I'll be there, yes I will, you've got a friend.”
Barry smiled and clapped.
Lisa grabbed Len and pulled him towards the door.
“Let’s get him out of here” Lisa told Mick, “before he does an encore, bye Barry, we will see you soon.”
Over the next few weeks, Barry did not lack for visitors. Captain Singh and others from the CCPD came to see him. People from his church and the condo building where he used to live came to call. Even people he did not know very well sent him cards and letters of well wishes, this included the staff from Star Labs, Len’s Father and Step-Mother and believe it or not, some of the actors and actresses from the musicals that he, Iris and Len had attended. He was pretty sure Len had a hand in some of that, but that didn’t make him appreciate them any less. In a little over a month, Barry was discharged home.
His Dad was waiting for him in the lobby, Henry put his arm around his son and they headed out to the parking lot. His Mom and Little Nora were waiting in the car.
“I thought we might go out for lunch” said Nora, “anywhere you would like.”
“How about the Soul Queen Diner” said Barry, “I’m in the mood for chicken and waffles or maybe country fried steak, or maybe both?”
Nora squeezed his arm, “so good to see you’ve got your appetite back.”
“That’s right” said Barry, “my appetite is back, and I’m back thanks to you two and everyone else.”
“Don’t sell yourself short” said Henry, “you worked hard to get through this; I’m so proud of you.”
“You’re right, Dad, it was hard, but it was worth it. I’m going to go on with my life, which is what Iris would want.”
And for the first time, Barry truly believed it. The world was still a good place and he would find a way to be happy again.
….
Len was thrilled to hear that Barry had been discharged; he called his friend up and asked if he was interested in dinner and a show. A new musical, straight from Broadway was opening at the Regency Theater and Len had his usual box. Barry was happy to except and Len went about planning their evening together.
They would eat at the Artist’s Café, a little diner across from the theater and maybe stop back for a snack after the play. The diner was a good choice for it did not have a liquor license but it had the city’s best burgers and lemonade mixed with whatever other fruit juice one desired. Len was waiting at a back booth when Barry arrived, right on the dot, just like in the old days.
The musical was a comedy involving a love affair between a fox and a cat with the performers dressed in full animal costumes. Len wondered how they could dance and sing while wearing those getups, but they did fantastically. Barry was quiet but he looked like he was enjoying the show.
Len went out during intermission to check his emails and texts; a Mayor’s work is never done. When he came back, he saw that Barry was quietly crying. Len sat down next to his friend and took his hand.
“Oh, Barry” Len said, “was this a bad idea, would you like to go home?”
“No” replied Barry, “it’s just bittersweet, I was thinking about all the times Iris sat beside me and in a way I feel that she still is.”
Len moved his chair closer to Barry’s and he put his arm around the young man’s shoulder. Barry leaned against Len and they stayed that way through the second half. Len breathed a small sigh of relief when he heard Barry softly singing along.
They headed back to the diner afterwards. Barry ordered a strawberry shake and cherry pie. Len ordered iced tea and a fruit cup; he wondered how Barry could put away all that sweet stuff and admitted to himself that he was just a tad jealous.
The two talked about the play, their jobs and Little Nora. Barry took one last pull on his straw and finished his shake.
“This has been great, but I got to get going, have a meeting with a few other CSI’s before work.”
Len called his driver and soon they both got into the back seat. They got to Barry’s place in fifteen minutes.
Barry gave Len a peck on the cheek, before slipping out of the car.
“Thanks again, this is the best time I’ve had in a long while.”
Len put his hand to his cheek, he remembered Barry’s kisses along with Iris’s, but they were never anything but kisses of friendship. This wasn’t any different now or was it? He remembered how good it felt to have his arm around Barry and to have the kid nestle into his side. Was it just one friend comforting the other or something more? Were new feelings starting to surface or had they been there all along, that wasn’t possible, not when Iris was alive. Dear, sweet Iris, what were his feelings for her? Why was he suddenly confused? Len was glad he had bought a new bottle of Bourbon; he was going to need it to sort out his feelings, tonight.
Len woke up the next morning with a headache and a mouth as dry as the Great Salt Desert. He had no nausea, thank heavens, because he felt like he needed to drink a gallon of water. He noted the half empty bottle of Bourbon on the kitchen table. He had drunk all of that and he still felt the same. Time to table his thoughts and feelings until another day; running his city should take care of that.
….
A several weeks later, Len logged on to his personal calendar, to check his activities for the next month. He saw two dates in red. One was Nora’s second birthday and the other was the first anniversary of Iris’s death. He hadn’t realized it was nearly a year. He wondered if there was anything planned. He would ask Barry today, since they were meeting for their weekly lunch.
But Len did not need to bring it up; Barry opened that conversation over coffee, while waiting for their entrees.
“You know that Nora’s second birthday is next week and the week after that is the first anniversary of Iris’s passing.”
“I know” answered Len; he didn’t know what else to say.
“We are having a tiny birthday celebration, just me and the grandparents, but the week after we are having a memorial dinner and we want you, Lisa and Mick to come” he fished out two envelopes from his pocket, “here’s your invite and I’d appreciate it if you give the other to Lisa and Mick.”
“Of course” replied Len, “and I know they will be happy to come.”
Len sent a gift for Little Nora to Henry Allen with instructions to please give it to Barry and the birthday girl at her party. Len had gotten her a soft cuddly pink Teddy Bear and a college bond that would be worth ten thousand dollars by the time Nora was eighteen. Barry sent a lovely thank you card a few days later with a photo of Nora holding the stuffed bear close with a huge smile on her face. Len had not been sure if the bond would be too much, but he was glad he had trusted his instincts. The next week was the memorial dinner, hopefully that will not be too rough on Barry and his family.
The memorial dinner was in a private room at Iris’s favorite Italian restaurant. It was not a large group, but they were all the people that Iris and Barry held dear. There were some of Iris’s best friends from the force and from college, a few new friends from Len’s office, a church lady who was like a second mother and her minister. Barry never had a lot of friends, contented to share Iris’s, but Len, Mick and Lisa were there for him. Also present was David Singh who told Joe he would have a very special announcement.
After dinner, people were invited to say a few words about their memories of Iris, almost everybody stood up and said such lovely things and soon there was not a dry eye in the place. Last speaker was David Singh who announced that Iris’s badge number would be retired and in her honor a program would be started to encourage young women to join the force and to provide financial assistance when they wanted to further their education or for any other valid reason. This was met with enthusiastic applause as Captain Singh embraced Barry and both sets of parents. The evening ended a lovely note.
Mick and Lisa gave Len a lift home and he invited them up for a drink.
“That went a lot better than I expected” said Lisa, “Barry looked better, almost back to normal, do you think he’s the old Barry now, Lenny?”
“I think he’s almost there, what do you think, Mick?”
“I think they could have had some booze at the party” Mick held his glass out for another drink.
“You know why the party was dry” scolded Lisa, “and that’s not what Lenny asked you.”
“Yeah, the kid’s good” Mick drained his glass, “got to get going, both of us have work in the AM.”
Len had just brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas, when his doorbell rang. Mick or Lisa must have forgotten something. He buzzed his visitor up and opened the door. It was Barry.
“Barry, what are you doing here” asked Len, “is there something wrong?”
Barry didn’t answer but simply crossed the threshold and pulled Len into a kiss. Surprised, Len tried to pull away but Barry only held him tighter and deepened the kiss. His tongue demanded entrance to Len’s mouth. Len could not resist any further, so he wrapped his around Barry’s waist. Len’s Lips parted and their tongues dueled for dominance, a battle Len was happy to lose.
Len wasn’t sure how long they stood there, as wonderful as it was he needed to know why. He gently removed Barry’s hands from around his shoulders and took the younger man’s face in his.
“Barry, this is lovely, but I need to know why.”
Barry took Len’s hands in his; the younger man’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“I want to touch someone, I want someone to touch me, and it’s been more than a year. I think Iris would approve, she loved you, too. Please, Len if you have any feelings for me please let me do this.”
Len pulled Barry close and crushed their lips together, he pulled Barry’s shirt out from his pants and ran his hands up and down his bare back. Barry slipped his hands down Len’s pajamas pants and kneaded Len’s bare ass. Len picked Barry up and headed to the bedroom.
They were soon both naked on Len’s king sized bed. Len positioned himself above Barry and took a few seconds to marvel at the prize beneath him. Len had never noticed how green Barry’s eyes were and how perfectly they went with his rosy alabaster skin. He had a sprinkling of soft brown hair that surrounded his pink nipples and continued in a treasure trail down to his manhood. There were constellations of freckles on his chest and abdomen. Len wondered if they continued on Barry’s back.
Len’s observations were cut short by Barry; the young man wrapped his arms around Len’s neck and pulled his face down to his. Barry peppered Len’s face with kisses and whispered in his ear.
“Make love to me.”
Len didn’t have any supplies but he knew other ways to satisfy a lover. He sucked hard on Barry’s neck and kissed his way down Barry’s chest till he reached his nipples. He sucked on one and squeezed the other then switched, he soon had Barry writhing beneath him. Len continued his downward journey, he tickled Barry’s navel with his tongue and then arrived at his final destination.
Barry’s manhood was erect and leaking precum, Len wasted no time taking it into his mouth. Len swirled his tongue around the head and then sucked rhythmically. He felt Barry’s hands on the back of his head encouraging him on.
“Oh Len” Barry gasp arching his back, “I’m going to come.”
Len started pumping his own shaft and swallowed Barry down as the young man came. Barry sank all limp into Len’s mattress. Len felt kind of the same way, for he had came when Barry did.
Len crawled back up to the head of the bed and took Barry into his arms; he would worry about the mess at the foot of the bed in the morning.
“Thank you, Len” said Barry, “As he nuzzled close, it was wonderful, do you think I can stay the night?”
Len kissed the top of Barry’s head.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
….
Len slept better than he had in a long time, he didn’t realize how much he missed having a partner in bed. Barry really couldn’t be called a partner, not like Cisco had been, but maybe there was something there. After all Barry did say he loved him, in a round-about way, and asked Len if he had feelings, too. Len most certainly did, even if he didn’t fully realize it till today.
He reached over to Barry, found nothing but empty bed. Barry’s clothes were gone, as well as his wallet and keys. There was a note on a scrap of paper on the nights stand.
‘Len’ it read, ‘I didn’t want to wake you up. I need to talk to my parents, I’ll call you later.’
Len didn’t know what to make of that. Did he overstep last night? Did he take advantage of Barry’s mood? He sat naked in the middle of his empty bed, trying to sort things out. The only conclusion he could come up with, was that he really cared for Barry, much more than he should, more than he had a right to. He needed to talk to Lisa, he looked at his watch, she should be at the office by now. He called his driver and quickly dressed.
Lisa was in his office when he arrived, she was checking his appointments.
“I was about to call you, your first appointment is in 30 minutes” she looked at his distraught face, “Lenny, what’s wrong?”
Len told her about Barry and what happened last night.
“I think I took advantage of him, I never wanted to do that.”
“Sit down, Lenny” Lisa ordered, “think a minute, Barry came to you, almost attacked you on your door step, begged you to make love to him and asked to spend the night. If anyone got taken advantage of, it was you. Unless that’s what you wanted.”
“I don’t know” answered Len.
“Well, I do, you’ve been in love with Barry, almost since the day you met. I could see that and so did Mick.”
Len shook his head, “Barry was in love with Iris, I could never do that.”
“And you loved her too, but not like you love Barry. Look Lenny, Iris is gone but you and Barry aren’t, if you can find happiness with each other, I’m sure Iris would approve.”
“But he left without saying goodbye; maybe he realized it was a mistake.”
“But he left a note and said he would call you, give the kid a chance to do right by you” Lisa looked at her watch, “your first appointment will be here in fifteen minutes, time to put on your big boy pants and be mayor.”
Lisa was right; Len kept all his appointments, had lunch with officers of the Women's Political Council and cut the ribbon to open the new teen recreational and learning center. He got back to his office at four o’clock. Lisa was waiting outside his office.
“I sent your secretary home; you have another appointment waiting in your office.”
Len sighed, this was the last thing he needed, he shot his sister a dirty look and went inside. There was Barry sitting on the loveseat beside his desk. Barry shot out of the loveseat and threw his arms around Len, then he pulled back, suddenly unsure of himself.
“I’m sorry, was that too much?”
Instead of answering, Len pulled Barry into a hug and planted a firm kiss on the younger man’s lips.
“Sit” Len guided him back to the loveseat, “we need to talk.”
“Then let me go first” Barry held Len’s hands in his, “I should have woken you before I left, but you looked so peaceful and I hadn’t worked out just what I was going to say. I needed to talk to my parents and to the Wests. I wasn’t asking their permission, I just wanted them to know what was going on.”
“And just what is going on” asked Len, trying to keep his voice calm.
“Maybe I presumed too much, I told them I wanted to pursue a relationship with you. I’m in love with you, Len.”
Len brought one of Barry’s hands to his lips and kissed it.
“I feel the same way, and I have for quite some time.”
Barry’s smile lit up the room; he grabbed Len by the lapels of his suit jacket, pulled him close and crushed their lips together. They kissed until they needed to come up for air.
“What did your parents and the Wests say” asked Len.
“They gave us their blessings” Barry answered.
The door to Len’s office opened and Lisa came in carrying a wine bucket and two glasses.
“Here’s some sparkling cider to toast your relationship, I was afraid the ice would melt by the time you two got around to declaring your love.”
“Lisa” said Len, sternly, “were you listening at the door?”
“Of course not, I left the intercom on” she kissed Len and Barry, “you both need to join me and Mick for dinner, we got to celebrate, bye for now.”
Barry opened the bottle and filled the glasses, he handed one to Len.
“When Iris died, I felt like I was in a long dark tunnel, with no end in sight, but eventually I saw a light at the end. As I made my way towards it, I realized it was you.”
Len clinked their glasses together, “no, it was us, now why don’t we go back to my place and have a quiet little celebration before my parents and the press find out.”
Barry nodded and they both slipped out the back and to the garage where Barry had his car. Life would soon be a circus, a big happy one, which both men were so looking forward to.