Chapter Text
“Again,” my husband demanded.
Hair sticking to my temples from sweat, chest rising and falling with labored breaths, and thighs burning, I made myself move. My mind tried to wander, but I forced my attention to the task at hand. I would show Oberyn that I did not tire easily. I was determined not to let the beads of sweat rolling down his chest sway my focus.
I lunged forward, driving my spear towards his abdomen. Oberyn turned quickly, though he made the motion appear as effortless as taking a breath. I groaned as I stumbled past him.
“Again.”
I took a deep breath, rounding on him from the right rather than my left. Oberyn didn’t even use his own spear to block the blow. He simply flexed his forearm as my staff hit his flesh limply. Disappointment fell off his loose curls as he shook his head.
“Again.”
Desperate for an end, my hands quickly shifted the very bottom of the staff. I swung with all my might, aiming for his bicep. With a sneer, Oberyn caught higher up on the staff. He gave a rough yank, pulling me in his direction. Dust rose around us as he dropped his weapon and caught my body against his.
“Lazy,” he chided with a few tuts of his teeth.
My head fell back, dramatics on full display for all to see. I couldn’t see him, but I knew his viper-like eyes were on me. My skin burned as his gaze raked over every exposed inch. Looking at an array of tents as the sky and the sky as the ground, I bit my lip as I tried- and failed- to fight off a smile.
“We’ve been at this for an hour, darling,” I groaned, a small giggle punctuating the whine. “Allow me a moment’s rest.”
So much for not tiring easily.
His response was a light nip to the base of my throat. He even went as far to catch the delicate chain in his teeth, tugging lightly to encourage me upright. I followed his guidance before bending at the knees to retrieve his spear. I offered it up to him, glancing at the tip.
“Do you really lace the blade with venom?”
Oberyn’s chuckle was dark. Instead of taking the spear, he used his free arm to pull me close once again. My lips lifted at the gentle caress of his breath against my earlobe.
“I fight for Dorne. Now I fight for you as well, my beauty. I fight with strength, speed, ambition.”
He pressed a soft kiss to the shell of my ear.
“I never claimed to fight with honor, sweet girl.”
The small grin turned into a full smile as we traded weapons. His spear was larger, heavier. He made sure mine was perfectly balanced for me, just as his own felt in his hand. I fixed my grip on the weapon, preparing for my next series of strikes.
We went back and forth, though there was little effort in my husband’s swings. His defenses were up, but he knew I was not sparring with my full focus. There was no need to attack aggressively, especially if he was not certain that I could counter his blows in time.
“You’re distracted,” Oberyn chastised, blocking another weak attempt.
“You’re distracting,” I shot, pointedly raising an eyebrow as I gestured to his bare torso.
It was not the only reason my heart wasn’t in it, but the words were true enough to not make me a liar.
Taking advantage of the way he paused to appreciate the praise, I quickly darted forward, stabbing the shoe of my spear into his wrist. Oberyn sharply cursed at the sharp pain and dropped his weapon. Seeing the opening, I turned and smacked the length of the staff against his exposed bicep.
Oberyn shook his head almost in dismay. I achieved the goal he gave me; I simply didn’t do it on his terms. He already knew me well enough to know that my standards were equivalent to his. If he was not happy with my performance, then I wouldn’t be either.
I just couldn’t be bothered to care much in that moment. My mind had been fighting away thoughts of Robert, Ned, my father, and anything related to the truth Luwin revealed for weeks now. Today proved more difficult than others. I could not help but feel that I needed to address the issue soon. Otherwise, I might burst at any moment.
“You make things more difficult than they have any right to be,” said Oberyn, catching my arm in his hand.
He pulled me closer, stealing a kiss despite the audience around us. There was a small spark of panic, though it settled as I remembered who held me now. It wasn’t Ned, but that didn’t mean it was Brandon or any man like him.
“I’ve always been difficult,” I whispered against his lips.
He pulled me closer, affection melting any disapproval away in an instant. He held my face in his hands and knocked the tip of his nose against mine. I could feel his lips stretch into a smile as he gave a light shake of his head.
“I’m afraid that doesn’t surprise me at all.”
“I’d be offended if it did.”
His playful grin matched my own as his left hand found my right. We walked side by side and left the sparring area that had been set up for the evening. Our soldiers bowed as we passed by, their whores even crawling out of tents to greet us as well.
Oberyn oozed charisma at every turn. I tried to be kind to everyone, but he seemed to be able to make personal connections with each person we spoke to. While it was amusing to see him turn into this charming man, part of me wondered if everything up until this point had been an elaborate ruse. Squirm his way into my good graces and strike when I was most vulnerable.
I forced the paranoia away. Nothing good would come from that line of thinking. Oberyn had every opportunity to remove both Ned and I from the board; he hadn’t. I needed to give him the trust he earned.
As we went, Loras and Jory followed. Rather than throwing Loras to the wolves, so to speak, Jory decided he would simply shadow the Lord Commander until we were back at King Landing. Which is to say, Jory does not trust him to guard me alone yet. Much of my inner circle thought Loras was here to send our movements to his father, so I kept my mouth shut. Though, that was only after Loras reassured me he was not offended. In fact, he understood the precaution entirely and harbored no ill feelings towards Jory and his suspicions.
Instead of going to our tent, Oberyn walked the trail towards the giant slumbering beast on the Northern side of our encampment. More men fell in line when they saw our destination, tugging livestock behind them. While fear was the first feeling most experienced coming face to face with a dragon, it often ebbed away to amazement. Everyone wanted a closer look, though they also knew only I could approach the beast.
Otherwise, he got a bit testy… which we found out after he tried to send a blast of fire at the first soldier who attempted to feed him. Thankfully I was near enough on Snowfall to intercept him in time.
Traveling with Cannibal had proven easy enough, barring that lone incident. He set the pace, soaring above us for hours as we went on horseback. He determined our stopping point once he found an area large enough for him to sleep. The army would stop when we caught up and quickly make camp.
Like me, my scaly companion seemed distracted today. He set down much earlier than normal, which did send a wave of excitement through the ranks. Everyone was eager for an evening of leisure, including Oberyn and I. Days of riding were hard on our bodies and we were both ready for an extra evening to stretch our muscles.
Cannibal’s neck was the first thing that moved as we came closer. His large green eyes opened while he turned to look at us. They glinted with glee at the sight of two cows and three goats coming his way. He enjoyed hunting, but he much preferred his meals brought to him.
I didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed at the men leading his dinner to him. I snapped my fingers, forcing his attention my way. The dragon could tell from just my scowl that I would not tolerate him going against my commands and eating humans.
If Cannibal realized he was thousands of pounds larger than me and I had absolutely no way to hurt him, he didn’t let it show as I felt him submit once more. The hungry gleam settled into a much more content one as he eyes his four-legged meals.
The men readily untied the animals, sending them running with smacks to their haunches. Cannibal perked up immediately, standing even though his neck was long enough to catch them without the added height. I leaned my head onto Oberyn’s shoulder and watched as the beast chased his dinner, catching one in his front claws and tossing it in the air. His large jaw snapped closed over the goat mid-rotation.
“Perhaps you should teach him to not play with his food.”
“You take care of our human offspring,” I told him, a small smile on my lips. “I’ll worry about the one with scales.”
Oberyn’s arm around my waist tightened, firmly pulling me into him. My monthly bleeding should begin any day now and my husband was eagerly waiting for that moment, or rather, the lack of one. We made the decision to wait until we had the throne to actively try for a babe, but he clung to the hope that it already took.
Perhaps, maybe, just the tiniest amount, I also pinched a single thread on the very frayed edge of the same hope between my fingers.
Though, I learned long ago that nothing is ever set in stone. I would not allow myself to get excited, not until I had a healthy, breathing babe in my arms. Letting go of my vision of children with Ned was hard enough- I wasn’t sure I could survive doing so again. So this time the image was a lone featureless bundle of blankets. Perhaps I was too greedy praying for three of Ned’s prior to the rebellion. Maybe if I only asked for one, life would be more inclined to grow within me.
Perhaps I took too much life from this world to ever make my own.
“I can practically hear your mind racing,” his voice broke through my thoughts. “Creating a life should be a happy process from start to finish, my darling. Do not make this something to stress over.”
I sighed, but nodded.
Oberyn was my last hope- at least I desperately wanted him to be. I couldn’t imagine having to choose another husband. Children would either come or they wouldn’t. Yet, I still couldn’t get the awful voice out of my head.
Cassandra Storm. The Barren Queen.
Frey’s voice was a constant taunt, reminding me that not even I knew who I was.
“By the Seven, woman! You are wound much too tightly,” Oberyn exclaimed exasperatedly, pulling me towards our tent. “You would benefit from a glass of wine. Or three.”
As I would soon find out, the wine did not benefit me very much.
I walked through the halls of Storm’s End in search of Robert. I nodded to every adult I passed, just as he taught me to do. When I realized he was not in any of his usual hiding places, I started to turn towards the direction Lord Steffon’s solar.
I knew better than to enter his wing of the castle, but Robert had been in the Vale for months! I hadn’t even gotten to go stay with Lyanna this time. I was excited to see my big brother, no doubt about it. I had a large giddy smile on my face as I heard Robert’s voice drifting through the halls.
He was here! He was home!
I stopped from launching myself the rest of the way and into his arms. My father would not appreciate it- I knew that much.
My steps faltered when I heard Lord Steffon’s voice in my ears. He sounded angry.
“You will stop treating her as though she were your daughter,” his voice boomed through the empty hall.
When this hall was empty, it normally meant the conversation was private. However, Robert told me everything. He wouldn’t mind that I waited outside for him.
“Why? You already have! Andra deserves better than this, Father. Walder fucking Frey? Are you mad? You and Jon Arryn both think her so much less than we are! You’ve even turned Mother against the girl. Her own child and she can barely stand to look at her. It seems as though the Starks and I are the only people that care about her!”
I ducked behind a pillar. They were talking about me? Robert sounded angrier than I had ever heard him. He was ten and two now, though his nameday approached, and his voice was so much louder than it used to be.
“Starks are notorious for taking in strays, Robert. She does not belong here. Her place is not in Storm’s End.”
“With all due respect, Father, you are a mad if you think that she does not belong here. You could give her the castle today and she’d run it far more efficiently than you have. Her father might not care to teach her, but she has taken every teaching I’ve ever given her. Not her Septa. Not even her parents. Me, her brother, has ensured she received enough of an education to pass for a highborn.”
“Do not call yourself that- not in front of me.”
“She came from Mother’s womb, did she not? She is my blood; I will not treat her as if she isn’t.”
“You are my eldest boy, Robert, which is the only reason disclosed such a truth. I will decline Lord Frey’s proposal, but make no mistake, I will be searching for a husband-”
“She is nine! She is too young to wed!”
“Old enough to be betrothed; old enough to ward somewhere else. The sooner she is out of my castle the better. I have already spoken to the girl. She knows what is expected of her.”
There was a pause. I could feel my lips shaking into a frown. I pushed my fingers into the corners of my mouth. I could never stop from crying when this began to happen.
Marriage? A husband? This is exactly what I wrote to Robert about. I was still a child- at least that was what Robert always told me. I felt myself silently praying to any god that would hear me that Robert would stop our father’s plans. I did not want to marry anyone.
My ears strained to hear Robert’s voice. If he was not yelling, there was a reason. He must be considering agreeing and if so, I wanted to hear every word my brother had to say. His next line was delivered sharply, leaving no room for Lord Steffon to argue.
“Match her with Eddard Stark.”
My head whipped up at the sound of Ned’s name. I crawled a little bit closer to the door. Perhaps, marriage would be less scary if Ned was to be my husband. He and I already did everything together; that wouldn’t be so different… would it?
“I will not,” roared my offended father. “He is a second son. I won’t put her on a high seat, but I can find her at least the title of lady. She still represents this family…”
His voice lowered, but by Robert’s irritated scoff, our father had more to say. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, wishing my older brother would just come out to see me already.
“Ned might be a second son, but he’s still a Stark. A second son to the Warden in the North, Father. As far as the realm is concerned, she is your only daughter- even if you still refuse to accept it. If you try to undermine her position and give her to a Frey or a Dondarrion, people will question you. The King may even be insulted. They’ll expect her on a reputable seat. If you won’t give her a seat amongst the great houses such as Lannister or Greyjoy then do not make her endure a political match. The Stark name is great enough that even a match to the second son would be acceptable. Let Andra be happy.”
“My job is not to make her happy. It is to take care of the girl until she is old enough to be out of my castle. That is the only promise I ever made to your mother. If you insist on a match with the Starks, I will offer her to Brandon.”
I shook my head as tears began to well up in my eyes. Not Brandon. Brandon was like my brother. He was like Robert. I couldn’t- I couldn’t marry Brandon.
Please, Robert, I thought, don’t let him do this.
“No,” Robert was quick to interject. “Brandon is too… rough around the edges. Ned is gentle; he will treat her well. Match her to him and let her ward in the North until their marriage. Not only will she be safe, but she will be out of your hair.”
I smiled, not caring about the rest of his words. Robert would make sure that I was happy. If I had to marry someone I think Ned would be a good husband. He was kind and funny. He always played with me and Lyanna, even if we told him he had to be a princess with us. He snuck out at dark with me so that we could spar. At least if he were my husband, I would have a friend at my side.
“I don’t care if her husband is to be rough. Any seat is more than the bastard deserves.”
I frowned. Bastard was bad, wasn’t it? That was something people said as an insult, I was almost positive. I forced myself to keep from sobbing. I knew my father liked me less than my brothers, but he never insulted me so directly.
Did he truly hate me that much?
There was a hard sound, one I knew all too well. I’d heard it when Robert acted up, I felt it when I did, I saw it when Ned had. Someone had just been smacked across the cheek and my heart hurt for my brother. He was only trying to keep me safe. He didn’t deserve to be hit.
My eyes widened as I stuck my head out enough to see what was happening in the solar. My father sat there with a hand on a red cheek. I blinked in surprise. Did- Did Robert strike Lord Steffon?
The man looked as shocked as I felt.
“You will never call her that again! Do you hear me? She is your daughter whether you care to fill the role of father or not. I will not have my little sister sold like some bartering token. You will match her to Eddard Stark when the time comes because that is what she deserves. Cassandra Baratheon- the name you chose to give her- is my sister and I will not allow you to disrespect her any longer.
“If you do not do your job as a father, I will. She will be my heir on every front until I have my own children. Anything I ever own, every seat I ever hold, any title I can give will be hers. I will break the Baratheon succession standards. Stannis will never have a claim as long as Cassandra and I both breathe. Let’s hope you and I do not find ourselves to early graves, Father, because that little girl you are so determined to hate will get a chance to prove herself a more competent leader than you have ever been.”
“Get out, Robert, before I decide to teach you a lesson,” Father bellowed. “I’ll be writing to Jon Arryn to prepare for your return to the Vale.”
“Then I’ll be taking Cassandra with me. If I am not in this castle, I want her in the North.”
“You forget yourself, son.”
“No. I think, Father, I am beginning to find myself.”
I had never seen either of them so angry. I ducked behind the pillar again when I saw Robert storming out of the room. I held my breath as he passed. He made it about halfway down the hall before pausing.
I watched as his shoulders heaved with a heavy exhale. He turned his head directly towards me. The tears began to fall as he watched me with sad eyes.
“Aw, c’mon, Andra. There’s no sense in crying,” he soothed as he came back to me. He helped me to my feet and wrapped a large arm around my shoulders.
“Can we go down to the water?” I asked through my sniffles.
Robert nodded. “Of course.”
Robert led me down to the beach, telling me all about his most recent experiences in the Vale on the way. I noticed he did not mention Ned, which I found weird. He always brought up Ned. Maybe he didn’t want to after his conversation with Lord Steffon…
Still, I could not ignore the nagging question in my mind.
“Robert,” I called as I took my shoes off. I stepped into the water, digging my toes into the wet sand.
“What is it, sister?”
Robert stood beside me, leaning into my shoulder. He gave me most of his weight, which made me giggle. I pushed him off of me. Robert was always the biggest in a room, the loudest, the strongest. I threw my arms around his waist as I squeezed him tightly. My face buried itself into his upper torso.
“Why does he hate me so much?”
I watched Robert’s face while he tried to hide his anger, but I knew him well enough. I could always tell when he was mad, just as he always knew when I was upset.
“Father is a weak man, Andra. Spending time with Jon Arryn has taught me what a true leader looks like. Do not concern yourself with what he thinks- it matters not. Now, tell me, have you been keeping up with your lessons?”
I nodded eagerly.
“Good,” he said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Andra, the world will always be a dangerous place for you. I will continue to do everything I can to make sure you are prepared for every threat. You are worth more than what any man will ever admit. Do not ever sell yourself short, sister. I’m not always going to be there to protect you. Come, grab those sticks and show me what Brandon has taught you.”
I jolted from my sleep, panting as I tried to catch my breath. My hair was plastered to my face with sweat. Oberyn stirred next to me, his hand coming up to rub my thigh. His face stayed buried in a pillow and his voice was low and husky as he spoke.
“Sweetling?”
I didn’t respond. No, I couldn’t respond. As my mouth opened, nothing came out. Something was happening inside me, something I couldn’t even describe. It felt as though every layer of my being was shaking, trembling, and threatening to collapse- even though I was as still as a rock. There was only one thought in my mind.
Cannibal. I needed to get to Cannibal.
Oberyn had already fallen back to sleep, assuming my stillness meant I had done so myself already. I slipped from his hold, watching him as I made my way to the door. He moved slightly, though he ultimately stilled.
I opened the entrance of the tent and closed it gingerly behind me.
“Stay with the king,” I instructed Brienne, my voice already quivering. “I will catch up to you.”
Her jaw tightened, but I knew she would not go against me. Jory saw me as a sister to protect, Brienne knew me as a queen to serve. Her oath to follow every order would always surpass Jory’s instructions.
“Of course, Your Grace.”
Then I was running- sprinting as fast as I could towards my dragon. Cannibal stood quickly, likely already sensing my stress. His nose nudged my body upwards as I struggled to climb on. All I could do was close my eyes, hang on tightly, and let him fly.
I knew I was truly disassociating from reality when we began soaring through windy weather and I never felt a chill. No cloak, only dressed in a nightgown- I hadn’t even grabbed shoes. Nothing was cold though- in fact everything burned hot.
Hotter than ever before. I was sweating profusely and all I truly wanted to do was shed the sleeping dress and find my way to the sea. I knew that would not remedy this impending hurricane of emotions. I’d likely boil all the water within a mile from how my skin felt.
Robert knew.
Rain fell from the sky and steam rose from Cannibal as it did. I was drenched in no time. I let out a shaky breath, trying to hold myself together.
Ultimately, I couldn’t.
Soon there was nothing- just a searing heat I couldn’t shake. Worse than a fever, worse than heatstroke, worse than having a direwolf sigil permanently seared into my flesh. I couldn’t form a single thought, couldn’t even feel Cannibal underneath me.
I didn’t quite understand my surroundings. My body was moving but my mind had retreated- too vulnerable to face this alone. I knew how bad this could look.
But I didn’t care.
I had lived through my share of suffering. I watched as the one person I wanted to love me more than anything drowned out in Shipbreaker’s Bay. I felt the betrayal and fear as a trusted brother turned into a monster within a few fleeting moments. I forced myself to leave Winterfell that night to save Ned the pain of having to break my heart. All I wanted was to be the villain in his eyes so he never had to feel guilty. I became Woman Stag. I stood tall as I watched as allies around me fell. I held my best friend as she died. I gave up her perfect babe to be raised by the woman I thought the man I loved chose over me. I stayed and watched my brother fall apart over the course of seventeen years. More and more pieces of him fell through my fingertips as I tried to hold him together.
I survived. All I ever did was survive. I simply kept breathing and found someone else to fight for. Oberyn was right; I spent so long giving my energy for others. I didn’t have it in me to be strong enough for myself in that moment.
He would though.
He always did.
I didn’t care that I was coming unannounced as Cannibal landed at the castle gates. I didn’t care as I stormed into the building, the soldiers recognizing my face immediately. I didn’t care about how this looked. I didn’t care which reputations were ruined. I didn’t care that I only wore a nightgown, arms crossed over my breasts and fists clenched. I didn’t care as I wound my way up the stairs, not ever having stepped foot into this place before.
I didn’t care. My body knew what my soul needed. My brain had no place here tonight- logic was unwelcome and reality too far out of reach. I was simply following the trail to my shelter and refuge.
I stopped in front of a door, raising my fist with the intention of knocking. However, any sense of reason dissolved in the rain. So instead, I pounded and pounded until the door opened. My chin was quivering, my entire body felt as though the tremors were finally making it out. The tension inside was loosening, though not nearly enough to let me relax.
Even as Catelyn’s scared face opened the door, I didn’t care. She stared at me for a moment, blinking the sleep away from her eyes. The moment she recognized me was marked with a gasp. Then she looked up and down the hall and pulled me into the room. Her hands squeezed my arms gently as she ushered me further in.
All I could hear in my head was his name over and over again. And unlike the times I used it as a shield to hide behind, this time it truly was a call. My own soul, screaming at me to find Ned before the emotions were too much to handle. Just as he needed me that day in the library, I needed him.
“Catelyn,” the only voice I needed to hear groaned. “Is it Rick-”
Ned stopped short, sitting up on the pelts he laid on. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open at the sight of me. There was a split second where uncertainty flashed in his eyes, but his gaze quickly turned hard and determined. Then his arms were open and ready to catch my as I fell into them. I all but threw myself into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
His arms brought instant relief, the panic inside of me settling enough to process the memory that just resurfaced. It’d been so deeply buried, along with almost every memory of my father after his death. It was easier to forget and lie to myself by pretending that my father had been loving and kind all my life. I soon grew out of that hopeful phase, but I never went prying for the memories I locked away.
“He knew,” I managed to get out through my tears and snot. “Robert knew the truth and he still chose me.”
Ned didn’t need me to clarify any further. He gave a sympathetic suck of his teeth and covered my back with his large hands. He began rubbed circles there, curling his fingers so I could feel light scratches with the motions. Unable to keep my head held high, it drooped down to rest in the crook of Ned’s neck.
“He loved you more than anything, darling. More than whoring and wine, more than Lyanna, definitely more than your brothers. Even more than me. I named you that night for so many reasons, love, but none more than knowing the irrevocable truth that Robert would have given it all to you had he known the truth of Cersei’s children. Not even Jon Arryn could have stopped him.”
Then the wailing began and the shaking continued. I don’t know how long I sat there, in the Catelyn’s childhood room. Ned held me the entire time, slowly shifting us until his back was pressed against the wall. His knees came up, causing me to slide forward into his chest. My legs stayed limp, though Ned hooked them around his back so that they would not be sore after all this. He rocked us gently, his thighs guiding my backside. I found comfort in the way we slowly swayed back and forth.
I faintly registered his cloak being thrown over us. The heat had disappeared, but everything else hurt. My heart, my head, my lungs- every part of me ached. Yet, every place that Ned’s touch ran over, the pain seemed to dull.
“I would give anything for one more second with him,” I whispered, my arms tightening around his neck. My face was buried there, tears both running down my face and wiped across his skin.
“I know, darling.” His response was no louder than a breath from his lips.
Ned shook me gently, cheek pressed against my temple. I tried to stop crying, but it only turned into painful gasps of breath. The rough pads of his fingers swiped some of the wetness from my cheek as he pulled my face back to look up at him.
I knew my appearance was atrocious. I hadn’t bathed after the sparring session, my bare feet were definitely dirty from the journey. I could feel my hair in knots from the wind, my body was drenched in a mixture of rain and sweat, snot and tears were everywhere. I, for all accounts and purposes, was a mess.
Yet Ned gazed up at me as though there had never been a more enchanting sight. His grey eyes were soft, but bright, and held every ounce of gentleness to be found in this world.
“What are you, love?” he asked softly.
A tiny smile tugged on my lips even though they were soon quivering downwards again. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, pulling away to look up at him. One arm still held me close, the other was on my face, thumb wiping the tears as soon as they came.
“Baratheon,” I whispered, a proud tug of my lips pressing into his neck. “Baratheon to my very core.”
“That’s my girl,” he praised at the same time a hiccup bounced from me. “Now, get some sleep. I have you for the night.”
It wasn’t hard to listen. Sleep came for me before the tears even stopped. I could still feel my body shaking, lurching with an uncomfortable hiccup every now and then, but my head was desperate for solace. I could feel my soul finding its place against Ned’s, whatever bond between us feeling whole as it always did when I was in his arms.
I barely heard his and Cat’s voices. I knew she was behind us, probably on her bed as she watched us. As they spoke, I couldn’t make out a single word. The darkness was taking over too quickly.
And I readily welcomed it.
“You spoke true when you said it was something you couldn’t control,” Cat stated plainly, pulling more pelts out of a trunk.
She laid them over the now sleeping Cass’ shoulders, covering her and Ned both. Her eyes met his sad ones. His features were apologetic from head to toe. If this was something that he could control, he would have kicked Cassandra out of Cat’s room. He would have taken her to an empty chamber or a servant’s tunnel. He wouldn’t allow this disrespect towards the Queen in the North.
But when it came to Cassandra, he simply could not be the honorable Eddard Stark for his wife- or anyone for that matter.
Not when his soul’s mate needed him.
Ned said nothing. His head leaned against Andra’s as his gaze dropped to look at the floor. He’d fall asleep soon. His arms tightened around Andra protectively; nothing would move her from his embrace. Eyelids drifted shut as he felt her relax into him more.
Catelyn crawled back into bed, but her eyes soon found the pair tucked into the corner again. Her stomach twisted as she realized that Ned really had tried his best all those years. If this was the type of support he needed in return when his emotions were too much for one person to bear, then for seventeen years they were both miserable in a way Catelyn knew she couldn’t imagine. That was a connection that transcended logic and reason; the kind a person could never shake no matter how desperately they tried. If Ned needed Cass’ fire to balance out his ice, then it certainly explained his cold nature.
She swiped at her tears. She always imagined she’d be heartbroken when she finally had confirmation that she never stood a chance at winning Ned’s heart. Instead, her lips curved upwards.
The father of her children was happy. Even as he slept, Cat could see the way the corners of his lips lifted any time Cass shifted in his grasp. Ned married Catelyn, yes, but he was never truly hers. The knowledge that she wasn’t his choice didn’t even sting, not when she could see with her own eyes the peace that settled over him.
It was then Cat realized that her smile wasn’t just because Ned and Cass had found each other once more. Something inside her unlocked and a great weight fell away, making her feel as though she could fly. She felt lighter.
She felt free.