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Chapter Text

I poured myself another cup of wine. I was going to need it in order to get through this conversation.

“Sister, please, it would mean a lot to me. This is a big moment.”

“I cannot go; I will not go! I will not dishonor that woman by sneaking into her home behind the guise of a royal entourage.”

“Andra, you must get over this ridiculous notion that Catelyn Stark hates you. From what I remember, you and her were friendly.”

“It does not matter, brother. I have wished ill on her for years. I cannot be expected to look her in the eyes and express gratitude for opening up her home to us.”

“Cassandra, you must get over this. I wish to visit an old friend and ally, and I wish to have at least one of my siblings by my side. Do not push me to make it a command.”

I reared, not happy with the turn of events. My brother never held his position of power over my head, not like this.

“Would you do that, Robert? Would you force me into another situation I’m unhappy with.”

“I hope you are not talking about your marriage to Renly. You brought the to me. You chose that life- you asked for it! I was prepared to give you everything you ever wanted. You, as my sister and one of my fiercest warriors, deserved it.”

“You would not give me everything,” I stated coldly.

“Cassandra Baratheon, you know damn well that he was promised to another. I would not take him like Lyanna was taken from me! I would not have another feel my pain.”

Robert’s voice rose, just as it did every time Lyanna Stark was brought up. He must have forgotten that I could get loud too. It had been years since we’ve had an argument the likes of this one.

“No, instead you made your sister endure that pain, Robert! You made me live out that misery. You made me bear that pain. You were not the only one who lost their love, their promised one, during the rebellion! I was preparing for my wedding day when he was robbed from me!”

Robert stayed silent, watching me. Even though he’s been drinking all day, I could tell he sobered himself up for this conversation. His eyes were focused, stern, and dangerous. He was Baratheon, down to his very core, and it could be seen in his eyes. Lightning seemed to dance in his irises, reflection our home of Storm’s End.

“The difference, little sister, is that my love died . Ned Stark simply chose another woman over you. It is high time that you get over it,” he said, ice in his voice. “You will go, as I, your king , have demanded it. Be ready by evening. I wish to sleep on the first stretch towards the North.”

I longed to scream it in his face. I longed to take the metaphorical knife and plunge into his heart as he did mine all those years ago. I longed to reveal the truth that Lyanna Stark loved another. I wanted to hurt him in the same way he had just hurt me.

But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I would not be the one to break my brother in this matter. Should he ever find out the truth, it would not be from my lips. I simply threw back my glass of wine and bowed my head.

“Yes, Your Grace. As you command.”

After a long time on the road, we finally reached snow. I was riding next to Sandor Clegane when I removed my glove and reached forward to let a snowflake fall on the tip of my finger.

“You always look so graceful. Like something out of a man’s fantasy.”

I smiled at my friend.

“Sandor, if you keep talking like that, you’ll make my question my loyalty to my husband.”

It was hard to see in that ridiculous helm of his, but I could tell he was smiling. At times, it seemed as though we were the only two in Westeros who could make the other genuinely smile.

“Hush now, my lady. You wouldn’t want these men to get ideas about your willingness to be unfaithful. Unlike me, most would take advantage of the offer.”

I smiled, glancing around. No one was paying us any attention, but he was right. I should be more careful. I carefully wiggled my hips, taking care not to excite my horse. I tried to sand in my saddle to give my some form of relief, but to no avail.

“I hate to say it, but my arse hurts.”

Sandor barked out a laugh. I couldn’t help but smile in return. It was rare to see The Hound relaxed in this way.

“As I said, graceful always. Maybe next time you’ll ride in a carriage.”

I cast him a glance to say he knows me better than that. He just shook his head in amusement and looked forward, paying attention to the road. I returned my glove to my hand and firmly grasped the reins. I led my horse to the Kingslayer.

“Oh, don’t you dare come over here and start giving me grief. I have no time for your games.”

“You’re grumpy today, Ser Jamie.”

“I am on duty.”

I held up my hands, and allowed my horse to slow as others passed around me. Sandor caught up quickly, not being very far behind.

“And just what was your goal? You know how he is when on duty.”

“Well, Tyrion’s passed out from drinking ale back in his carriage. I’m sick of your ugly mug. I guess I was hoping Jamie could make this long ride go a little bit quicker for me.”

“Well, now you’ve soured my mood too. An ugly mug? How insensitive of you.”

I smiled widely.

“Sandor, if you believe I mean any insult I throw at you, you are as dumb as you look.”

He chuckled as we kept riding.

I took in our surroundings. I loved the snow. When I would visit Winterfell before the rebellion,  I wanted to be outside all the time. Storm’s End was wet and terrifying, but Winterfell was beautiful. My heart ached as I thought of how things should have been- how I should have lived my life in Winterfell. If only Brandon Stark had lived to marry the Tully girl.

When we could see the gates of Winterfell, I made my way towards the middle of the caravan. I did not want to see Ned yet. I definitely wanted nothing to do with Catelyn. And as beautiful of a gift children are, I do not wish to see the Stark children. There was only one that I cared to lay eyes on.

As I settled in line I noticed I was next to Tyrion’s carriage. I watched Tyrion sneak off towards a brothel. I smiled, knowing my friend wanted to be here even less than I did. I reached out and pulled his carriage curtains shut all the way, buying him more time to enjoy himself. With how much hate the man gets from even his own family, he deserves to drown himself in pleasures.

I looked ahead to see my brother waving me over. I shook my head in the tiniest of motions, knowing only he would see it. Apparently we’re still on rocky terms because he sent me a glare and mouthed “Get over here now before I send my guards”. I groaned to myself and rode towards him, anxiety and dread seeping into my stomach.

I caught up to him before we rode through the gates.

“You are my sister, my soon to be Warden of the East, and my closest confidant. I will have you by my side as we greet my Warden of the North.”

“Robert, brother, I do not think that is wise. I do not know what Catelyn knows of me and Ned. She knew we were promised, but I’m not sure if she knew how deep our love was. What if she takes it as a slight?”

“Sister, Catelyn Stark can kiss my arse before I allow my sister feel uncomfortable by my side. Please do this, Andra. Not for your king, but for your brother?”

Robert always knew how to get me to cave in.

“It really should be your queen at your side,” I whisper in one last lame attempt to get out of the situation. Robert smiled, knowing then that he had won. When has Cersei ever stood by his side?

We rode into the city. I mentally prepared myself for backlash, stares, and whispers. None came. I searched the crowd and only saw eyes on the others. Even though I was next to the king, no one cared about me. It was then that I fully grasped the situation.

No one here has seen the king in some years. Some may have never seen him. They don’t know about me and my marital status. No one here can care less about the king’s baby sister that follows him around endlessly. I smiled, a weight off my shoulders.

My smile faltered as we stopped and dismounted. I did not get a good look at him, not really, but I knew he was there. It was difficult to see him with Robert and his guards in front of me. I made my way around the horses, walking slightly behind Robert, keeping my eyes cast toward the ground. I could see the excitement in my brother’s pace. This is the fastest I’ve seen him walk in years.

“You’ve gotten fat,” I heard my brother say. My head whipped up in shock. Had he really just said that?

My eyes immediately found Ned, out of pure habit. There was a pang in my chest as I took him in after all these years. He looked older, more stern, but still the same handsome Ned. I watched as he looked Robert up and down in response and raised an eyebrow. The two men started laughing and embraced. I knew how much this moment meant to Robert. I couldn’t help but join in on the laughter at the sight of the duo reunited.

In an instant, Ned’s laughter stopped and he opened his eyes to see me standing behind Robert. I looked away as quickly as possible, not prepared to let him see all the emotions I knew my eyes would show- the hurt, the excitement, the anxiety, and especially the longing. My brothers always said I wore my feelings on my face and my heart on my sleeve.

Ned and Robert pulled apart before my brother turned to Catelyn Stark.

“Caaaaat,” he drawled out, embracing the woman. She too looked at me as he did so and I felt it in my bones that she knew everything there was to know about Ned and I. I yet again averted my gaze, feeling uneasy. Until I remembered Robert’s comment about Cat kissing his arse. The image made a small smile grace my lips.

As my brother stepped towards the children, I quickly found Ned’s “bastard son”. I had waited years to see him and I was shocked to see how much Stark blood actually ran through his veins. There wasn’t a hint of his father in him, other than his fair skin, but the cold in the North could easily be seen as the culprit for that. I had to admit, Ned taking him on as a bastard son was kind of genius. The boy looked so much like him.

Once Robert was done with his greetings, I looked to Cersei. The Queen must greet everyone before anyone else, so she says. She took her time and placed her hand on my shoulder when she passed. I don’t have many issues with Cersei other than the fact that she is in love with her own brother, but I technically have no room to judge.

She held her hand out to Ned. I could see his discomfort, but he hid it well. He leaned down and kissed her hand, as he was expected to do. Cat bowed as well.

Equally as expected, Robert wasted no time in wanting to see Lyanna.

“Take me to your crypt. I want to pay my respects,” the King commanded of Ned.

“We’ve been riding for a month, my love. Surely the dead can wait,” Cersei pleaded.

We both knew she only said this to rile Robert up. I rolled my eyes to myself; she sets herself up for failure time and time again.

“Ned. Cassandra.”

I sighed. I should have known Robert would try to get me as close to Ned as possible rather than letting me keep my distance like I wanted.

I looked to Ned, who gave the smallest of smiles.

“This way, Lady Baratheon.”

And just like that, I was in love all over again. The softness of his words, his voice gentle, his small smile warm and kind. If there was ever a chance of me moving on (which, to be fair, there was not) it was gone in that instant.

I followed Ned as we caught up with my brother. He took the lead, which allowed me to have a few private seconds with my brother. I punched Roberts arm once we were out of sight of the crowd.

“Ow, you she-devil,” he hissed.

“Shut the fuck up,” I whispered, “You are the worst brother to ever live.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Robert bit back. “You literally have Stannis as a brother. Now come, the dead deserve our respects.”

We continued on our way, catching up to Ned.

“Tell me about Jon Arryn,” the Stark requested.

Robert began talking and reminiscing. I continued walking, giving them some privacy. Knowing my brother, it wouldn’t be long until he popped the question I knew he was going to ask. There’s only one reason to come this far North following the death of the Hand.

Sure enough, when he asked, Ned dropped to his knees. I could practically feel his conflicting emotions all around him. After exchanging a few words, Robert told him to stand up.

“We were meant to rule together,” my brother was saying. I smiled at the thought. They really had been a duo unlike Westeros had ever seen.

“If your sister had lived, we would have been bound by blood. If your brother had lived, we would have been bound by blood. Well, it’s not too late. I have a son, you have a daughter. We’ll join our houses. ”

I stood silently, not sure if Robert was serious. Joffrey was… Joffrey. Was my brother really going to make one of Ned’s girls put up with his awful son? But Robert walked away, indicating he was done with this conversation and would wait for an answer. Ned stood there, looking around. No doubt he was trying to process what had just happened. He turned to follow Robert and his hard stare landed on me.

“I- I had no idea he would propose such a thing,” I stammered out. Ned’s gaze softened.

“Lady Baratheon, you know I would never hold ill feelings toward you. It’s… a lot to take in.”

I nodded, but did not respond. I was avoiding his gaze, which was blatantly obvious. We stood there in silence a while. I could still hear Robert’s footsteps ringing throughout the crypt.

“Lord Stark, I should tell you that I did not want to come here.”

“Call me Ned. And yes, I’m sure after riding for a month, going straight to the crypts is not ideal.”

“No, you misunderstand.” I met his gaze straight on, letting him see me. “I did not want to come to Winterfell. Robert commanded I do so.”

“You did not- you did not want to see me? I thought maybe we would be past this.”

“I’m not sure if I will ever be past it,” I confessed.

Silence started to seep in. Ned and I stared at each other, taking in every feature that has changed over the years. Even the ones that have not changed were inspected. I wasn’t sure how long we stood there; it felt like ages. I cleared my throat.

“We should catch up to him before he tries to take Lyanna back to King’s Landing to bury her there,” I said, turning to follow the king.

“Wait.”

I shut my eyes, and listened to Ned’s approach. His footsteps, the leather he wore, his sword hilt clinking against him. I knew he was getting closer. I could feel the warmth radiating off of him. I felt like I was suffocating in his presence. To be so close to who I wanted and yet so far from what I wanted.

“Lord Stark-“

“Call me Ned,” he sounded exasperated. His movements stilled.

“Lord Stark, I insist that we-“

“Call me Ned,” he whispered near my ear, revealing that he was right behind me.

“If I call you anything but Lord Stark, I will lose all resolve. This is not the time nor the place for this conversation.”

“Where better than the privacy of the crypt?”

“With the dead watching? No, you’ll meet me in the Godswood. We will have this conversation before the old gods.”

“Giving me orders, are you, Lady Baratheon?”

I turned to face him and instantly regretted it. His charm was emanating from his smile. Clearly, he still enjoyed teasing me. If he wouldn’t put the wall up, I would. I squared my shoulders and hardened my face.

“Let us go, Lord Stark. It’s improper that we be alone together. What would people think if the honorable Eddard Stark was found with his previously betrothed in the privacy of the crypt ?”

Ned’s smile faltered.

“I see. After all these years, I thought there would still be a sense of friendship between us. I know now that I was wrong. I will respect your boundaries, but remember that it was you who ended things as they did back then. Just as I hold no ill feelings towards you, you should not have any towards me. We were friends, before we were more than friends. There’s no reason for us not to be any longer. Come, this way, Lady Baratheon.”

My heart hurt as I followed Ned through the halls, catching up to Robert just as he placed a feather in the statue of Lyanna’s hand. I watched again as he and Ned exchanged words. It was so refreshing to see them together in this way, as though nine years hadn’t passed between them.

“It is done, Your Grace. The Targaryens are gone.”

“Not all of them,” my brother said somberly. I sighed, my thoughts drifting to the two surviving Targaryen children, somewhere across the sea. Robert was borderline obsessed with the thought of the Targaryens reclaiming the throne and reigning as the Mad King once did.

“Let it rest, Robert. Tonight is a night of merriment! We’ve been reunited with the Starks. Let us celebrate. We’ll drink enough that Lord Stark says yes to your proposal, aye?” You threw my arms around him, squeezing his arms.

“Your sister is right, my king. Lyanna would want us to celebrate while we’re all together. Except, I will not be making life altering decisions while under the influence of ale.”

Ned and I exchanged smiles. It just felt so natural to be back with him. I chided myself at the thought, reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how easy being next to him as a friend would be; it would never be enough for me.

Robert turned to face both Ned and me. He looked thoughtful as he studied us.

“You two would have been one of the most adored pairings in the kingdoms.”

With that, he left us. I glanced at Ned before following my brother out. Ned walked by my side.

“Do you want to go to the Godswood now?”

“No, after the feast. I do not wish to keep you from your loving wife and family any longer.”

He stayed silent. I figured he had nothing to say; Catelyn would be happy to have her husband by her side while she prepares to host the royal entourage. We emerged from the crypts not long after seeing Lyanna. I believe all of us wanted to get away from the awkward tension lingering in the air- or maybe that was just me.

“Maester Luwin, would you please escort Lady Baratheon to her chambers? I believe they should be ready since I had someone prepare it when I saw she was here. I’ll give King Robert a tour of Winterfell.”

“Yes, of course, Lord Stark.”

I turned to face Ned, bowing my head ever so slightly.

“Thank you, Lord Stark, for your generosity. Here I was prepared to cuddle up with Tyrion Lannister,” I said with a smile. Ned took a few steps towards me and leaned down so that he could once again whisper in my ear.

“We would have been the most adored match in the seven kingdoms.”

He stepped away, motioning for Robert to follow him. I watched as they went, the small ache in my chest easing, but never leaving. I was afraid that this pain would stay with me until the end of my days.

“Lady Baratheon, this way.”

I turned to the Maester and followed him.

Chapter Text

When it came time for the feast, I found my seat with Tyrion. While I have no love in my heart for the Lannister House, Tyrion had somehow managed to worm his way in there. I could not imagine a life in King’s Landing without Tyrion there to ease the stress. He was the only person I’d met who read the same books, like the same drinks, and enjoyed the same games. It was safe to say that Tyrion was my only friend.

“Hello, old friend. Making wonderful memories in Winterfell already?”

Tyrion gave me his boyish grin, not bothering to respond. He refilled our cups.

“Do you blame me? A month on the road with my nagging sister called for an immediate release of pent up frustration.”

“You know, most men would steer clear of these conversations with ladies.”

“I am not most men and you are not an average lady.”

I nearly snorted. “You make it sound as though we are outcasts.” Tyrion raised his glass in the air.

“To us, Lady Baratheon! The outcasts of Kings Landing!”

“That I could cheer to, Imp.”

Tyrion’s smile widened. “You are the only person in all the kingdoms who could call me that and bring a smile to my face. Why is that?”

“Because you know I love you,” I responded honestly, taking a bite of grilled deer and roasted potatoes.

“Oh, so forward, Cassandra? Sad you won’t get the chance to be in my bed now that Lord Stark has provided you your own chambers?”

I let out a laugh.

“Of course, Tyrion. My whole goal of this month long journey was thwarted by our host,” I said through the laughter. Tyrion laughed harder, the wine making his standards for humor take a tumble.

“Let’s play a game then, aye? True or Not True?”

“Fine! I’ll start. You came only because Jamie asked you to, not because your queen sister did. True or not true?”

“True, but that is no surprise. When has my queen sister ever asked for me to be with her? My turn. You did not want to come here either.”

“True. You fucked at least three whores earlier.”

“Sneaky use of “at least”. True. You rode on horseback for the last month because you didn’t want to be seen as spoiled.”

“Sort of true, I guess. I’ll drink, at least. It was more so I don’t want to be spoiled. I can ride like any other of my brother’s men. You plan on trying to sneak some wine back up to your room to keep the festivities going.”

“True! Although there is a fire risk. There are so many candles in my room, I’m sure I’d topple one over in my stupor.”

We laughed again, drinking more.

“I guess we’re too good at reading each other, Lord Tyrion.”

“Let me take a chance on the next one.”

I raised my eyebrows, intrigued. Tyrion straightened himself, his grin falling into a serious expression. He leaned forward, beckoning me to move in closer.

“You’re still in love with Eddard Stark,” he whispered. I glanced around to make sure no one heard. No one was. I returned his hard stare. I could get up and walk away, but either way he’d have his answer.

I drank.

“I fear, Lord Tyrion, that is where this game must end. I need to slow down before I do something stupid tonight.”

“Like making your way into Ned and Catelyn Stark’s bedchambers?”

“More like making my way to your bedchambers,” I said with a wink, standing to go.

“Fine, I need to piss anyways,” he exclaims. “My bed is always open to you, Lady Baratheon.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. His bed was always open to anyone.

I made my way to the outer area of the large room. From here, I could quietly observe everything. My brother was making a fool of himself in the middle of the tables, insulting his wife in the process. He was fondling some kitchen servant who was passing around drinks. Cersei and Catelyn exchanged words at the head table. Most of the Stark children ran around. The eldest Stark boy was attempting to speak to Joffrey, though none looked too eager to take part in the conversation. I could not spot the “bastard son” all night.

However, I did find Ned also lurking near the shadows. He looked like he was trying to hide from all the people, watching the room intently. Knowing him, he’s probably making sure all his children are accounted for and not offending the royal family. I watched him as he folded his arms, the cup in his hand practically forgotten. I studied his face, taking in once again all the changes the years have made. As I watched him, all I could think was that there has never been a more Northern man. He was the very definition of the North. Brown hair resembling the woods nearby, grey eyes reflecting the cloudy skies, and his hardened face showing the harsh realities of Winters past and Winters to come.

Going against my better judgement, I approached him.

“Lady Baratheon,” he said warmly, setting his cup on a nearby table. “You look like you are enjoying yourself.”

“Lord Stark! It’s a wonderful feast, but you don’t appear nearly drunk enough.”

“After that one night, I haven’t been much of a drinker.”

“What night,” I asked furrowing my brows. He said the words as though I should know exactly what he meant.

“The night we almost- I almost-“

“Oh,” I exclaimed, it finally registering in my head. I laughed, moving some stray hair behind my ear. “You said it like some terrible thing happened!”

“I nearly took your maidenhood,” he whispered in a guilty tone. “I was so lost in ale that I almost ruined you.”

“I was willing,” I stated matter-of-factly. I would have let you ruin me a hundred times over.

“That does not change the fact that I would have been taking advantage of you.”

“Don’t be silly, Lord Stark. Besides, it’s in the past, no need to worry about it now. I’m fine and you’re allowed to enjoy your drink.”

“Did you still want to take a walk to the Godswood? I would really like to have that conversation, Lady Baratheon.”

“Yes, I think it would be best if we did.”

“Let us go.”

“Now? In the middle of a feast? Someone will notice us leaving.”

“Look around. Everyone is having fun and won’t realize we are gone- at least not for a while.”

“Well, lead the way then.”

“It’d be my pleasure, Lady Baratheon.”

What Ned didn’t notice, what I didn’t notice, was that there were a few who saw us leaving. Catelyn, Robert, and Tyrion all watched as we snuck out of a busy room and into the silent darkness of a Northern night. And one of the three was not pleased about the turn of events.

“This is still as beautiful as I remember,” I mused as we stepped foot into the Godswood. I ran my hand over the old trees as we passed, holding years of prayers in their leaves and trunks. The cold air bit at my skin, making me suddenly grateful that the had brought my cloak lined with fur the to feast with me.

“Aye? Catelyn says it’s unwelcoming.”

“Catelyn prays to the new gods.”

“And you? Are you still a rebel and pray to the old gods?”

“If I do pray, it is to the old gods,” I admitted.

Ned sat down on a large sideways trunk. He patted the place next to him. I took a deep breath and gently sat beside him, making sure to leave space between the two of us. I was determined to stay strong and hold to proper boundaries. As much as I craved to be in his harms and would take whatever contact he’d be willing to give me, I would act as propriety demanded.

“Lady Baratheon, for this conversation to provide any comfort for either of us, I insist we do away with the formalities.”

“Is that what you seek, Lord Stark? Comfort?”

“I seek comfort, understanding, and closure.”

Closure.

An end.

I sighed, lowering the hood of my cloak. There was a chill that nipped at my cheeks in that moment.

“Eddard, being here is not easy for me.” Ned let out a chuckle.

“Now I know you are simply trying to get a rise out of me. Eddard? When have you ever called me Eddard in all the years we have known each other?”

“That’s your name, isn’t it,” I asked with a small giggle of my own.

“Why do you so strongly stick by your decision to not use Ned, as everyone else in Westeros knows me by? I understand that you are a lady and I am a lord, but that has never stopped us from familiarities.”

“I’ll speak true, Lord Stark. If I use that name, it will only allow me to lean into my feelings and fantasies. I mean to leave Winterfell with Robert without upsetting the lady of House Stark.”

“You think calling me Ned would upset Cat?”

“I think calling you Ned will remind me of all the times I used to. If I am being honest, Lord Stark, I have thought about you every day since the last time I saw you. My heart yearns for what should have been and the anger I feel in my bones is because I know it is too late will never be remedied. Robert has encouraged me to move on, to the find new love, and yet, I can’t let go of you. When we were younger, I loved you with my whole heart. And no matter how hard I’ve tried to change my feelings, I still do love you with every fiber of my being. You plague my mind constantly.

“I thought when I saw you with your wife and children it would seal the ending of our story. My heart would finally have the proof that you love another and maybe find peace. But here you are, all day giving me the same boyish smile you used to, looking at my with your soft grey eyes, asking that I call you Ned as if we are still so familiar with each other. You even whisked me away to the Godswood to have a private conversation under the moon. Without meaning to, you have been the same Ned that I love. You haven’t changed, and I do not believe that my heart will ever move on now.”

“I-“ Ned cleared his throat and sat up straighter. “I know what happened following Brandon’s death was not what we planned. It does nothing to reminisce on the past.”

I nodded slowly, tears threatening to fall. It was the truth. It was like a knife stabbing my heart with every breath knowing that I was alone in these feelings. Nevertheless, it was the truth.

I can’t believe I just said all of that and his response is so short. I am a fool.

Before the embarrassment and shame could seep into my gut, Ned continued.

“That having been said, whether or not this makes either of us feel better, I too have thought of you every day since. When Brandon died, Jon Arryn approached me. He told me that the honorable thing to do would be to marry Cat since she was promised more than a husband, she was promised the seat as Lady of Winterfell. He assured me that my mother would offer Benjen to your family.”

“Was I so bad a prospective bride that Benjen took the black,” I said with a light laugh, wiping stray tears from my face. I had never heard Ned’s side of things, but I figured these were the events that transpired; it was common practice in the seven kingdoms.

“The opposite actually. When Mother told Benjen the news, he was elated. He immediately claimed that he would have the most beautiful and caring wife in all the realms. You remember how you used to treat him. He was young, but he was excited. That is, until he took one look at me standing behind our mother and knew he could never marry you. He knew my feelings towards you. My brother knew that having you so close would be difficult for me. I mean even now, years later, I’m still acting like a green boy around you. Taking you out during a feast and walking alone to the Godswood? My wife would kill me and yet I’m willing to die if it means one last conversation with you.

”Can you imagine if Benjen had brought you to Winterfell all those years ago? I didn’t love Cat when we first wed; I know I would have tried everything in my power to be with you. I would have been rash and stupid and likely would have made every bad decision if it meant time with you. Gods forbid a kiss was on the line; I might have killed a man over it. As I sit here now, years later, having a wife and children that I love, I cannot deny that I am unsure if I would remain loyal to them. You have been, and likely always will be, the one woman that makes me want to do dishonorable things just to be by your side.”

I noticed the way his gaze dropped, just for a second, to my lips. I could feel the childlike excitement bubbling up within me, even though I knew it was for nothing.

He met my eyes and smiled softly. His grey eyes resembled the morning fog, ominous and foreboding.

“You are more beautiful than ever, Andra,” he said in a low whisper, as though he was trying to keep even the gods from hearing. I tried to ignore the way that my nickname sounded on his lips; like a secret between just the two of us.

“Don’t say those kinds of things. It will not do us any good.”

“I will not apologize. I have felt like that statement was going to burst out since the second I laid my eyes on you. I’d rather it be here in private with you than in front of a whole crowd.”

I smiled, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

“Then you must allow me the same indulgence. While you haven’t changed a bit, the North has hardened you and it shows in your face. It is quite possibly the most attractive sight I’ve ever seen, Ned,” I admitted in a soft tone.

He leaned in close.

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have called me that. That was like music coming from your mouth, Cassandra.”

I couldn’t help my body’s reaction. To be this close after so many years of longing was making my anticipation bubble. I knew it was wrong, but I felt heat in all the right places.

“Tell me this, Ned, and maybe I can move on. Are you happy? Are you in love?”

“I am happy with my family. And I am in love.”

“Does she love you back?”

“Do you?”

I leaned back, confused.

“Do I what?”

“Nothing, just a slip of the tongue. Cat loves me in her own way, I believe. She loves our children.”

“And the boy?”

“Absolutely despises him. I never claimed him as my son, just as my blood, but everyone took that to mean my son. At first, many thought it was some random whore in a brothel, but, after a while, most of the North started to believe that he is yours.”

“That’s ridiculous! If he was mine, I would have kept him.”

“I think the rumor of you ‘not wanting a reminder of what would have been’ blossomed at some point.”

I laughed. “Ned, I would have clutched so tightly to any reminder of you. I still have the letters you would send me while you were in the Vale with Jon Arryn.”

He smiled softly before leaning down and grabbing something out of his boot. My eyes widened as the familiar item was revealed to me. It was an old silver hairpiece of mine, with yellow gems placed throughout in a beautiful manner.

“You gave me this. After our first dance together as a proposed match.”

“Now, let us be honest, Ned. You took that.”

He gave me that same boyish grin, mischief dancing in his eyes.

“You are absolutely right, of course. I took it out of your hair and made up some awful lie about why I did so.”

“You said, and I quote, ‘your hair is pretty enough without jewels.’”

He laughed at his own ridiculous words.

“Aye, that sounds about right. My goal was to have another made for you with gemstones found in the North. I would have given it to you as a wedding gift, but I never got the chance. I have carried this with me every day since.”

“What did you say earlier? There’s no point in reminiscing,” I chided.

We fell into a comfortable silence. I stared at the small pond in the center of the Godswood, the one that never froze over thanks to the natural hot springs under Winterfell. The reflection of the Northern night sky was beautiful. Had Ned not broken the silence, I might have been lost looking at the image all night.

“Do you want to meet him?”

“Of course. I didn’t see him at the feast. I was going to ‘accidentally’ bump into him.”

“Cat probably told him to stay outside.”

“You let her treat him that way?”

“Cat has never had peace when it comes to Jon. He’s the reminder that I was unfaithful.”

“You weren’t.”

“She could never know. And in a way, I have been. Every night, I dream of you. The first few years, I pictured she was you. Especially when I had to take her to our bed. I called her ‘Cass’ once or twice on accident; I would tell her she heard wrong and I said ‘Cat’. Though, I suppose it does not matter if I’ve been faithful physically. Not a day goes by when I’m not unfaithful mentally.”

“And now how do you feel about your wife? I think five children means you have more of a connection.”

“It’s rare when I do my husbandly duties. When I do, it’s dark and I can still tell myself it’s you. We’ve had five kids and have been lucky enough to get pregnant within the first few attempts. I have tried to love her as I do you, but it will never be the same. We were perfect for each other, Andra. It is difficult to settle for less than that once you have had a taste of perfection.”

“All this time, I thought I was suffering alone. At least I never had to lie about it. Not like you have.”

He smiled sadly, placed my hair piece back in his boot, and got up and held out his arm.

“Come, Lady Baratheon. I wouldn’t want you to trip in the moonlight.”

Finally, after 17 years, I touched Ned. I placed my arm over his and let him lead me from the Godswood. Surprisingly, I did not have an overwhelming sensation to strip him then and there, as I always pictured myself doing if I ever got my hands on him again. Our conversation did allow part of me to heal. Even if it was all just talk and nothing could change, at least I now know he returns my sentiments. He never chose Cat over me. Jon Arryn did.

And that fact I could live with.

Chapter Text

“Jon, I want you to meet someone very special to me,” Ned said as we approached the “bastard son” of his. “This is Lady Cassandra Baratheon of Storm’s End. She is the king’s sister and fought alongside both of us during the rebellion.”

Jon looked between his father and I. As I was able to properly take in his features, it became clear to me why Cat might despise him. This boy truly was the spitting image of Ned, more so than any of his true born children. I tried very hard to find any trace of his father, but there was nothing. A true Stark through and through. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Lyanna.

“This is the woman rumored to be my mother?”

“Rumored, but definitely not your mother, Jon,” I said. “If I was, I would have raised you in Storm’s End. I would certainly not have sent you to live with the barbaric Northern men, especially Lord Stark.”

Jon gave a small chuckle, bowing his head slightly.

“I see. Regardless, it is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Baratheon. I hope you’re finding my father’s lands agreeable.”

“I may be from the East, but I always felt most at home here in Winterfell. I would visit often as a child and young lady.”

“Has it changed any since your last visit?”

“No, not at all. Lord Stark has preserved much of it, just as past Lords of Winterfell.”

“It is my duty,” Ned said. “Jon, it would mean a lot to me if you could stay near Cassandra during her visit and assist her however she needs.”

“Don’t make this boy my indentured servant,” I said, playfully swatting Ned’s shoulder. “I can find my own way around.”

“If he’s with you, Catelyn will not approach,” Ned whispered in my ear, turning his head so Jon could not read his lips. “I think it’s best if you two stayed away from each other.”

“Pardon my interruption, Lord and Lady,” Ned pulled away from me as we both looked towards the source of the sound. Maester Luwin was hobbling towards us. “Lady Stark has been asking after your whereabouts, My Lord.”

“Did you tell her I’m with my boy? The one she insisted be stuck out here in the cold? Kicked from castle before he could even grab a cloak, I see.”

I watched Jon’s face as he smiled proudly. Clearly the boy favored Ned’s approval and defense of him more than he minded Catelyn’s hatred.

“I did not, My Lord. I think that would be best coming from you. She has also noted that Lady Baratheon was not to be found at the feast.”

“I wanted to meet the Stark child that wasn’t present at the welcome feast. Although, I believe I have a better understanding of why,” I said coldly.

“I will go speak to her,” Ned said, turning to John and I. “I’ll do my best to return quickly.”

“No need. I’m sure the boy here won’t mind escorting me back to the feast, would you, Jon? You could even share a mug or two of ale with me.”

Jon was practically beaming. He looked to Ned for permission.

“Father?”

“I will not deny the king’s sister this indulgence. Just be prepared for Lady Stark’s cold wrath,” he said dryly.

“I expect to be treated like a lady, Jon,” I whispered, loud enough that both Ned and Maester Luwin could also hear.

“Of course, Lady Baratheon,” he said, standing tall and holding out his arm, just as Ned had in the Godswood. “This way.”

I allowed Jon to lead me, even though I knew how to get to the hall. As we entered, Ned and I on either side of the boy, the hall grew quiet. Ned hurried towards Catelyn, who looked absolutely livid. I could practically hear Cersei as I read her lips.

“It seems mine isn’t the only husband who insults his wife.”

I squeezed Jon’s arm softly. He looked towards me.

“Where shall we sit? I see your Uncle Benjen is here. Perhaps with him so I could catch up? I don’t believe I’ve seen him since he made the decision to join the Night’s Watch.”

Jon nodded and led us through the crowd of people. I passed by Robert, who placed a hand on my arm, stopping us. I noticed Jon was avoiding looking at him, probably because Catelyn put in his head that his presence would insult the royals.

“Feeling better, Sister?”

“Not as good as you,” I said glancing towards the empty ale pints littering the table. “I should be soon though. I plan to challenge Jon here to a drinking competition soon. Doesn’t he look just like Ned when he was that age?”

“Aye, the resemblance is uncanny. You don’t know what you’re in for, boy. My sister is Baratheon through and through. She could give me a run for my coin when it comes to chugging ale,” Robert said with a hearty laugh. He gently pat my arm in dismissal, returning to his drinks.

Jon and I continued walking towards Benjen, whose smile turned into a look of pure joy when we saw us. He made sure there were two seats near him.

“Cassandra! It’s so good to see you again. I see Jon got dragged into this feast after all.”

“Benjen, old friend. You are the only one I’ve seen to not address me by my title and it is the most refreshing thing in the kingdoms! How is the Wall treating you?”

“So well, Andra, so well. I’m actually a ranger, so I get to go beyond the Wall. My brothers are an amazing bunch to call family.”

“That sounds quite the adventure! Got any wine over here? I want to drink and hear all about your time in the Night’s Watch.”

“Of course! You’ll definitely need it to put up with my brother’s wife glaring daggers at you.”

I chose to sneak a glance at the head table, where Ned was speaking to Cat in hushed tones. For once tonight, Cersei looked entertained. Regardless of her conversation with Ned, Cat was in fact glaring right at me. I chose to take that moment and cuddle close to Benjen. He smiled, knowing exactly what I was doing. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Trying to get her to go easier on Ned, huh?”

“Hoping to. Willing to kiss me? It’ll really sell it.”

“Not in the seven hells. Then I have to deal with Ned’s wrath, woman.”

“Oh, but you’re so handsome,” I said, dramatically gazing into his eyes.

“Yeah? It’s the black, isn’t it? Women always want what they can’t have.”

I barked out a laugh. He had no idea how true those words were. I removed myself from him and returned to our conversation about the Night’s Watch.

I learned that Jon was eager to join the Watch. Benjen and him talked all about the different positions and ranks, who was in charge, and who wanted to be in charge. Jon asked about a recent deserter, which both paused to fill me in on. The conversation turned to how lifestyle of a member of the Night’s Watch was like. Jon had questions about if Benjen ever felt lonely or scared beyond the Wall.

Watching Benjen be an uncle was so odd to me. He had always been Ned’s little brother, someone I thought would be my little brother in a way. Seeing him as a grown man, being a role model to Jon, and wearing the black cloak of the Night’s Watch made my heart happy.

As the night went on, I felt myself loosening up and relaxing due to the wine. The crowd dwindled as the hours passed, some going to bed, some finding a place to couple up, and others leaving the castle to kick up the festivities a bit.

I did finally challenge Jon to a drinking competition. By then, small crowd had gathered, including Ned’s eldest son, his Greyjoy ward, Benjen, Tyrion, Jaime, Sandor, and Ned himself.

The goal was to be the first to down five pints. We were three pints in. I finished mine a few seconds before Jon and started chugging my next. I started tapping his upper arm repeatedly as I finished my fourth. He had just started his.

“See, boy, I get faster the more I drink,” I said, a definite slur to my words. Benjen was ready with the refill and quickly swapped out the mugs. I brought my fifth and final pint to my open mouth and chugged it in four large gulps. I slammed my mug on the table, a whole 21 seconds before Jon.

Cheering erupted throughout the group. I slung my arm around Benjen and started chanting an old Northern drinking song. It wasn’t long before the whole group was joined in. Even those who did not know the words came up with their own just to join the merriment.

By the end of our song, almost everyone had cleared out of the hall. I was certainly one of the few women in the room, just as I had always been during the rebellion. Growing up with three Baratheon brothers prepared me for this life. I knew how to belch before I could talk.

It was then that I belched so loudly that I put Robert to shame. The cheering, laughter, and clapping erupted once more.

“You did good, Jon,” I said, ruffling his hair.

“See, bastard,” Tyrion began, “even outcasts can have fun! Who fancies a go with me?”

I tried to walk to the table, but one step made me wobbly. I grabbed onto the nearest arm I could find, my mind muddled from drink.

“I think it’s time for me to go to bed,” I said aloud, hoping someone would hear me and come to my aid.

“I think that is wise, Lady Baratheon,” Ned said, looking down at me with a grin. He pat my hand that was clutching his forearm. “Can you walk?”

“You insult me, sir! Of course I can walk!”

This time, I made it three steps before stumbling sideways into Jon. He helped steady me, looking at Ned for instruction.

“You are a mess, Cassandra,” Ned laughed, sweeping me off my feet. Even under the effects of ale, I could feel the way my heart quickened.

“Jon, if anyone asks for me, let them know I took Lady Baratheon to her chambers and then went to retire for the night.”

“Yes, sir.”

Ned nodded and started heading to where I would sleep. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my head on his chest, allowing myself to be in the moment.

“I noticed you gave me my old room. Who sleeps in your old chambers?”

“Jon, normally.” I hummed in acceptance.

“Maybe I’ll sneak through the wall just like old times and keep him warm tonight.”

“I love him unconditionally, but he wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like you, Cassandra.”

“Would you?”

Ned just smiled, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

“No one sleeps in my old chambers?”

“I tell my family it’s haunted. They stay away.”

“Such a liar, Lord Stark.”

“I don’t lie. Any time I walked in there I was haunted by your ghost. Some times I could still hear you laugh ringing in my ears. When I first heard your laugh today I thought the ghost of your memory started following me. Then I opened my eyes and there you were. Like a dream come to life.”

I smiled softly to myself, nuzzling further into Ned’s chest.

“Here we are,” Ned said, pushing the door open. He went inside and lightly toed the door shut. He laid me on the bed and sat next me, leaning over so that his hair dropped onto mine.

“Cass, I’m not going to take the position.”

“I never thought you would. You were made for the North, Ned. You’ll hate it in the capital.”

“Robert will want to leave when I tell him no.”

“Then this is all the time we get, Lord Stark,” I whispered, watching him.

“My heart grieves for Jon Arryn, truly. Though if it took his death to get one last day with you, I would say it eases the pain of losing him. Immensely.”

It didn’t take long at all to lose myself looking into Ned’s eyes.

“Will you kiss me,” I whispered, looking up at him with pleading eyes. I can see the war raging on behind his eyes. He wanted to; he was letting me know with every ounce of his being. I placed my hand on his cheek, trying to chase this moment. I pulled him closer to me, practically begging for him to give in.

Ned buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply.

“I can’t, Andra. Catelyn has been good to me. I can’t kiss you. I can’t hurt her like this.”

I fell back into the mattress, allowing the furs to engulf me. I knew it wasn’t going to happen. It would have ruined his life, his reputation, and his family.

“Thank you, Ned, for being the stronger of us.”

“Goodnight, Lady Baratheon.”

“Goodnight, Lord Stark.”

Ned placed his lips to my forehead before leaving me to myself. I stared at the wooden planks above me for a long while before the fatigue finally took over.

Chapter Text

“He did what,” I asked, my head snapping to Tyrion.

“Eddard Stark took the job. He is the new Hand of the King.”

I knew something must have happened after he left me last night for him to change his mind. I was not going to hand that information over to a Lannister, especially the clever one.

“So he’ll be riding back to King’s Landing with us?”

“I suppose he will. Why? Nervous he’ll find out about your suitor,” Tyrion teased, sarcasm lacing his words.

“My marital status will make no difference to him. He is a married man, the Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North, and now the Hand of the King. No matter my feelings, he will never return them.”

“If he did?”

“He would never act on them,” I said solemnly, my face turning to steel.

Tyrion noticed my change in demeanor and laughed.

“You just need someone to fuck your longing for Ned Stark out of you. I’m sure Sandor would be an eager volunteer. Or one of these Northern men if that’s what you’re really longing for. Jory is handsome; the bastard looks just like his father.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed Tyrion’s arm playfully.

“I don’t need a fuck. I need to get back to King’s Landing and drown myself in work and wine.”

“Well, your world will be turning into your greatest fantasy. Ned Stark without his wife being near you every day. A dream come true?”

I scoffed. “More like a nightmare. I haven’t even told him I’m married and by the way he’s treated me, he doesn’t already know.”

In truth, last night was the closure I needed. I received the confirmation that Ned will never betray Catelyn. I never had a chance once Brandon Stark died. I needed to get over my feelings if I were going to strive for a life of happiness..

“Lady Baratheon,” a stern voice said from behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Catelyn standing there.

“Lady Stark,” I said with a polite bow of my head.  “Last night was a wonderful feast. My compliments to you and your staff.”

“Thank you,” she said, her voice lacking any form of gratitude. “I wasn’t sure if you enjoyed yourself. You disappeared not long after dinner was done. I heard you were out looking for one of the Northern bastards last night.”

Don’t do it, Cassandra. Play nice, do not give this woman any grief. It was never her fault that Ned married her.

“Yes, My Lady. In fact, I wanted to meet your husband’s bastard last night. And I did! A lovely young man. He’s clearly taken after Lord Stark; he looks just like him.”

Dammit, Andra!

Catelyn gave me a tight smile.

“Ned once said the boy reminds him of his mother.”

“Is that so, Lady Stark?” I asked, resting my chin in my palm, tilting my face up towards her. “Tell me, do you see any trace of her in his face?”

I knew it was wrong. I should not be combative with Ned’s wife. Like he said, she’s been good to him. However, I was not going to ever let her feel like she beat me at anything. I knew her goal was to see if Jon was mine. If Ned never told her his true parentage, then I would not give a hint of it either. I would not give her a yes or no answer, but I would let her imagination run wild on the matter.

Catelyn furrowed her brow at my words.

“Oh, has Ned never told you who his mother is? Well, then that is surely not my secret to tell. I will say, however, that boy is Stark through and through.”

“Just without the name,” she said as though it was supposed to be a slight.

“I hear Jon wants to join the Night’s Watch. A name doesn’t matter much to him, I suppose.”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t.” She paused for just a second before continuing. “My reason for coming to you is that King Robert is heading out for a hunting party. He was adamant that you know as soon as possible.”

“Thank you, Lady Stark. I’ll be on my way then. Tyrion, I’ll see you later. Have fun with your company,” I teased with a wink before standing up.

“Going? Where are you going?”

Tyrion nearly choked on his drink trying to stifle a laugh. I turned to Catelyn.

“With my brother, of course. I am always in his hunting parties.”

“I find that to be improper, don’t you? A lone lady riding in a hunting party with only men?”

“Lady Catelyn, I fought along side my brother and your husband during the rebellion. I have disemboweled many men, horses, and more. I once had to cover myself in manure to keep Targaryen hounds from finding me. I give no shits about propriety. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

I took my leave, heading out the main hall doors. I found Robert atop his horse, with Ned next to him. I smiled at the pair.

“It really is refreshing seeing the two of you together again.”

“Come, Sister. Get on your horse. I think Ned had a specific mare in mind for you,” Robert said, gesturing to the other side of Ned.

“You might remember her,” Ned stated, “you were there when she was born.”

“Snowfall,” I exclaimed excitedly. I walked up to the mare, allowing her to sniff my fist before stroking her neck.

Ned’s eldest son handed his father the reins.

“Father, are you sure about this? This mare hasn’t been ridden in years.”

“Lady Baratheon can handle her, Robb. Now, go get Jon and Theon. We’ll be leaving soon.”

Ned slipped off his horse and held out his hand for me.

“Come, Cassandra, allow me to help you into the saddle.” I gladly accepted his help, stepping in his hand and allowing myself to be pushed upwards. I hiked my dress up and swung my leg over Snowfall’s back. He helped smooth out my skirts.

“Are you wearing your riding britches underneath,” he asked, bunching some of the top layer of silk and holding it up. “You’ll hurt later on if you’re not.”

“Of course! I’m no amateur,” I said playfully snatching the reins from him. I lightly pushed his shoulder with my boot, just as I used to when we rode together before. “I’m always prepared to ride. Robert has a habit of dragging me out somewhere whenever he desires.”

Ned let out a low chuckle before mounting his horse once again. We all chattered together while the rest of the preparations were made. Ned had me walk Snowfall around so that he could see how she moved. I guess no one had ridden the mare since I last had. She followed my guiding easily, but I could tell she wanted to run.

“I’ll get a head start,” I said, wanting to get Snowfall her needed exercise.

“Allow me to accompany you, Lady Cassandra,” Jon Snow said, asking a question without asking a question.

My eyebrows rose ever so slightly. Approaching a member of the royal family as a bastard was bold.

It made me like him that much more.

“Of course, Jon. Do try to keep up,” I said with a wink, digging my heels into Snowfalls sides, allowing her to pick up speed.

“Is she still as wild as you remember, Ned?”

“She is, Your Grace. Just as I remember.”

Jon and I galloped for what seemed like eternity. I could feel Snowfall’s excitement as she stretched her legs and worked her muscles.

“Father has never let anyone touch that horse,” Jon called out to me. “He lets her out to exercise himself and she always returns to the stables. I remember Robb tried to sneak her out for a ride once and Father scolded him with such ferocity. I was sure he wanted to hit Robb.”

“When I would come to Winterfell,” I began, “this was my mare. Lyanna, Ned’s sister, and I had been just children when we first found her. She wanted to show me one of the new colts, but when we got there, one of the pregnant mares was preparing to give birth. I sent Lyanna to go tell someone while I tended to the mother’s comfort. Snowfall was born by morning and I built a bond with her. Your grandfather allowed me in Winterfell whenever I wanted, knowing our houses would be tied by marriage at some point. Every time I came here, I sought out Snowfall. Had I known Ned still had her, I may have come sooner. Or I would have purchased her from him and taken her to Storm’s End.”

“Father seems different around you,” Jon stated, after a few brief seconds of silence. He wasn’t accusatory; he seemed more so stating an observation. “He seems lighter. Sometimes he carries himself as though he has the weight of Westeros on his shoulders. Since he saw you yesterday, I’ve noticed he is more relaxed.”

“Being a Warden of the lands is not an easy task, Jon. It can be trying on a man. Sometimes seeing a familiar face like mine or Robert’s eases the burden.”

Jon nodded in understanding.

“May I ask you something, Lady Cassandra.”

“Of course,” I quickly replied, “anything.”

I wanted Lyanna’s boy to know me as a safe place. I wanted him to feel like he could come to me with anything, because he could.

“Why do so many people believe you’re my mother?”

“It’s easy to think that,” I said. “Your father and I were betrothed once, before your Uncle Brandon died. When that happened, your honorable father offered to fill his proposal match to the Tully family. He married Catelyn and I went back to King’s Landing with my brother.”

“Did you love each other?”

“I cannot speak on your father’s behalf. As for myself, I loved Ned like no other.”

“Are you married now, my lady?”

“I am,” I said.

“He did not come to Winterfell?”

“No, he had other matters to attend to. Look there, I see the hunting party approaching. We had better join them.”

When we made it back to the rest of the party, I fell in line with my brother and his newly appointed Hand. It wasn’t long until tracks were found. Once a scent was picked up by the hounds, the party surged forward. Everyone went separate ways, hoping to close in on the boar. I noticed Ned had slowed, allowing everyone to pass him. I walked Snowfall to his side.

“Hunting parties never were your favorite,” I observed.

“You enjoy them?”

“Not necessarily. However, I do like watching Robert enjoy himself. He doesn’t do that much anymore.”

“How has he been?”

“Broken. He’s happy enough when he’s drunk or with whores. He hates anything to do with being the king. Sometimes I wonder if he just wanted the rebellion and not the crown. The amount of spies, lies, and theft in the capital is enough to drive any man insane, let alone the one who sits on the Iron Throne.”

Ned looked lost in thought as I spoke about my brother. When I finished, he glanced towards me.

“I’m sure you’ve heard, but I accepted the position of the Hand. Hopefully, I’ll be able to provide our king with more comfort knowing his affairs are in order.”

“Who will you be taking to King’s Landing?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. Robb will stay here. There-“

“Must always be a Stark in Winterfell,” we finished together. Ned cast me a sad smile.

“Cat will stay here with the him and our youngest. I’m not sure about the others. Jon can’t come with me but I don’t want him to stay alone with Cat. Who knows what damage that woman will do to him?”

“He wants to join the Night’s Watch,” I stated.

“Benjen has told me the same. I will speak to him and see if that is what he truly wants. You and I both know what that means though. It would be the true end to his House. He wouldn’t even know what he was giving up.”

“There are two more who can carry on the legacy. It doesn’t have to be Jon.”

Ned looked at me with sad eyes.

“It is so hard knowing what she would want.”

“She would want him alive and happy. If the Night’s a watch gives him that sense of purpose he seems to want to find, allow him to take the black, Ned. You claiming him as a bastard was nothing short of genius, but he can’t do much with no name, no title, and no land. I doubt Catelyn would ever let you give him the Stark name. Let him make his own name with others like him. Allow the boy to find his place in this world.”

Ned nodded, thinking over my words.

“How was Cat to you this morning? She quickly volunteered to be the one to tell you we were leaving.”

“She was polite enough. I may have played into the rumor that Jon was mine.”

His head whipped around to look at me, a disappointed scowl on his face. I gave a sheepish shrug of my arms.

“She approached me with the wrong passive aggressive attitude.”

“Last night was hard enough with her demanding every move I made when I disappeared from the feast.”

“And did you lie? Or does she know you swept me to the Godswood and expressed your love for me,” I teased, dramatically placing my hand over my heart.

“I told her we had stepped outside to catch up and then you wanted to meet Jon. No lies were said.”

Just hidden truths. I led Snowfall forward so that I was next to Ned once more.

“My apologies, Lord Stark, if my presence is putting an unnecessary strain on your wife and your marriage.”

“Oh, come off it,” he said. “I think we both know you needed to come here. We both needed closure, which I have yet to receive.”

“What do you mean?”

“You never told me your side of the story. I was left all night in the Godswood, waiting for you to show up. I wanted to be the one to explain what happened, and you never gave me a chance. I was hoping that you would talk me out of marrying Cat that night, but you were no where to be found.”

“I’m sorry, Ned. I-“

I was cut off by a rustle in the nearby bushes. I immediately grabbed my bow off of its hook on my saddle. I took aim and waited to see what would come out of the shrubbery. Ned moved his horse so that he was in front of me, taking care not to block my aim. He brought his sword out of the scabbard it was kept in.

We waited for minutes and watched for more signs of movement. None came. I lowered my bow, as Ned sheathed his sword. He turned toward me once more.

“Must have been a squirrel.”

At that moment, a wolf came rushing out of where we had seen the branches move. It lunged up towards Ned, who kicked it while he tried to free his sword once more. Ned led his horse forward to give him some time to reach his weapon, but the wolf was fast and jumped again. This time, the claws dug into the rear of Ned’s horse, causing her to rear up. Ned, having reached for his sword hilt, did not have the time to grab the reins. He fell backwards, onto the ground. His horse ran off, but it gave me the perfect shot I needed. I loosed two arrows quickly in succession, each one lodging into the eyes of the beast.

The wolf fell down, its breathing labored. Ned stood up and put the thing out of its misery.

“Are you okay, Cassandra?”

“He didn’t come near me,” I assured my friend. “And you?”

“I’m fine, just a rough landing. Damn sword hilt got stuck on one of my belts.”

“It’s okay, Ned. You can admit that you are old and slow,” I said with a smile. He chuckled lightly before looking around.

“My mare took off quickly. That isn’t like her.”

“I’m sure she’s nearby. Probably just scared, poor thing. She was injured badly, but nothing she cannot recover from. Here, Snowfall has the strength to carry both of us. We’ll find your mare.”

I scooted forward in the saddle as much as I could. I held my hand out to him. He looked at it before grabbing me, pressing our forearms together. My muscles flexed as I pulled him up. His legs swung behind me, settling him into place. We let go of each other and I grabbed the reins.

“Comfortable, Lord Stark?”

He let out a low hum, his arms coming to reach around my waist.

“Yes. Very.”

I smiled and tried to ignore the feeling of his chest pressed against my back. I guided Snowfall into a slow trot so that we could try to find Ned’s horse. We looked for a while, but found no trace of her. By this time, we were so detached from the hunting party that I couldn’t spot any of the other men or horses.

It wasn’t long before I felt Ned’s grip tighten around my waist. I rolled my eyes; I wasn’t that bad of a horse rider. I was about to chide him for being dramatic, but I quickly snapped my mouth shut when I felt his face nuzzle into my neck.

“Ned?”

“Lady Baratheon, I’m afraid that you will have to be the stronger of us today,” he breathed into my ear. “It cannot be me. Not when you are finally in my arms like this.”

His hand reached up and moved my hair so that my bare neck was available to him. He lightly pressed his lips to my skin, inhaling deeply. I let out a small gasp as his lips made contact with my neck. Ned’s hands rested on my thighs, massaging them lazily.

“You smell just like I remember. I think you made me love the scent of lavender.”

I tried to do as he asked and be the stronger of us. I knew I should say something to him, but it took all I had to focus on finding his horse or the hunting party, whichever was found first. I kicked Snowfall into a faster trot, my arse bumping back into Ned with the change of speed. I mentally cursed myself, knowing that wouldn’t help the situation.

“They should be around here somewhere,” I said in an attempt to distract Ned from where he had his head buried.

“Woman, you are going to be the death of me,” Ned whispered, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me further into him.

I could feel his manhood hardening against my rear. I closed my eyes at the feeling. I definitely could not suppress the small whimper that tumbled from my lips. Ned twitched against me, showing that he very much liked the noise.

“If I fuck you here and now, how bad do you suppose the consequences would be?” His hands squeezed my sides as he lightly nipped the lobe of my ear.

“Ned, if you fuck me here and now, I’m taking you to Storm’s End with me. There would be no giving you back to Catelyn after.”

Hearing his wife’s name seemed to bring him back to reality a little bit- or so I thought. His grip had loosened, but only so he could pull my skirts up enough to get his arm under. His fingers found the laces of my riding britches and he easily undid the cord. He slipped his hand under the fabric, pausing on my lower abdomen.

I leaned back into him, lifting my hips ever so slightly. That was the permission he needed to continue down to my center. When Ned finally touched me where I needed him most, it was as though I had been struck by lightning during one of the beautiful storms that often took place at my home. It did not take long before my whole body was feeling heated. His movements were borderline desperate, the way his other hand was clutching me was almost feral.

“Feeling nostalgic, Lord Stark,” I asked between excited breaths.

“Hush now, I’m playing with my favorite toy,” he said in a low grumble, moving his fingers in small quick motions. My head fell back onto his shoulder with another moan. I closed my eyes, realizing I failed at being the stronger of us. However, I was enjoying every second of my failure.

The world seemed to fall away and there was just Ned and I. As he toyed with me, his mouth was kissing a trail down my neck until he began lightly biting my collarbone. I loosened my dress enough to allow him to pull one side down over my right shoulder.

“If you insist on marking me, do it where no one can see.”

Ned let out a low hum before following my command. He bit, sucked, and licked a spot close to my shoulder, matching his mouth to his hand’s rhythm. His left hand found its way to my breast and there it stayed, palming and squeezing me over the fabric. Ned would slow and speed up his movements as though he were playing a beautiful melody with my body. It wasn’t long until he brought me to my undoing. In my defense, I haven’t been touched like this since the last time Ned had done so.

“If that is what you can do on horseback,” I panted out, my head still laying on his shoulder, “I desperately want to find out what you can do with a mattress under us.”

Ned laughed, nuzzling his face to mine, his stubble grazing my cheek. He removed his hand from my britches, my fluids glistening on his fingers. I opened my mouth in an offer to clean him up.

“Not this time, love,” he said, kissing my cheek before popping his fingers into his own mouth. His eyes closed and he let out the smallest of groans.

It was the most attractive sight in the world. I just stared up at him, allowing my body to relax against him. It seemed like the only things stabilizing me in that moment was Ned.

My bliss was cut short when we heard the thundering of hooves.

“Shit,” we said simultaneously. Ned hastily helped lace up my britches and pull the sleeve of my dress back into place, hiding the pleasure inflicted bruise.

“You are my undoing,” Ned whispered, biting my ear, just as Robert appeared through the trees.

“And where were you two when I gave the final blow to the beast?”

“Fighting our own, Your Grace,” Ned responded. “Lady Cassandra saved me from a wolf!”

“Well, that would explain your horse, my lord,” Ned’s Greyjoy ward said, holding up the reins of the injured mare.

“Best not to ride her until that wound has been looked at,” Robert said, pointing to where the wolf shredded her skin. “We had just killed the boar when she found us. We came as soon as we heard Cassandra scream.”

I gave him a confused look. I did not remember screaming at any point. Ned adjusted himself, ever so slightly pushing his hard cock against my backside, letting me know that he did, in fact, make me scream.

Oh.

“I- uh- I had thought I saw another wolf coming towards us,” I stammered out, trying to think of a justifiable reason.

“Aye, it was just a shadow in the trees,” Ned confirmed.

Robert seemed to buy our lame excuse, because he said nothing more on the matter.

“Back to the castle! We have dinner,” my brother exclaimed.

The party started to head back towards Winterfell. Benjen rode up beside Ned and I. He waited until most passed us by.

“Have fun?”

“I hadn’t loosed an arrow in a long time,” I said. “It was exciting to say the least.”

“Oh, come now. Don’t think you two are slick enough to get anything past me. I’ve heard that exact scream from you, Cassandra, too many times to think it means you were scared.”

“Let it rest, brother,” Ned said, sitting up straight.

“Now, now, Ned. You might be older, but I’m no longer a child. My lips are sealed, but next time try to keep hers sealed too, yeah? Wouldn’t want Cat to hear her sounds of pleasure.”

With that, Benjen rode off to catch up with Jon and Robb. I looked towards my riding partner.

“Benjen wouldn’t tell a soul,” I said when I saw Ned’s hardened face.

“No, he wouldn’t. That doesn’t mean that what we did was right.”

“Ned, I will not let you ruin this moment with your damn honorable reputation. What we did was wrong, despicable, and so, so sexy. You really know how to keep a woman enraptured by you.”

Ned smiled, pinching my thigh as we rode to catch up with Robert. As we rode further, it was clear that something was amiss. Another rider was heading towards us. As he came closer, I saw it was Jaime Lannister.

“There’s been an accident, Your Grace,” he called as he neared my brother, Ned, and I. “One of the Stark boys have fallen from a tower.”

Ned drew in a breath, his version of a gasp. I immediately kicked Snowfall into gear, cantering towards the castle of Winterfell. Ned held onto me tightly, this time to actually keep him in place. Once inside the gates, I slowed Snowfall to a stop before the entrance of the hall. Ned slid off the mare, patting her rear in thanks.

“Find me later; let me know how your boy is. Out of respect, I will not call on you and Lady Catelyn.”

Ned looked up at me with solemn eyes.

“That is probably wise. As is sending someone to inform you rather than me seeking you out.”

“Of course, Lord Stark. Be with your family.”

He ran into the castle without further words.

After caring for Snowfall, I spent the rest of my day in my chambers, reading by the window. I had changed out of my dress and was wearing a simple slip. I had asked for tea and had grabbed one of the furs off of my table. I had no expectations of visitors and was happy to spend the day to myself.

Hours went by before I moved a muscle, and that was only to change reading material. I finished the first novel and began the second. As I leaned forward, I noticed a shadow outside my door. I cocked my head to the side and listened for a knock. There was none.

I stood, determined to investigate. Before I could reach the handle, a small paper was slipped underneath. I grabbed it and moved to the firelight.

‘Move the wardrobe. I’ll see you tonight’ it read. I recognized Ned’s handwriting anywhere. I used to keep all the letters he wrote me at my desk and would read through them whenever we were apart. I moved the wardrobe he spoke of, revealing the small passage between my room and his old one.

I looked at the setting sun. I’m sure dinner was ready, but I didn’t have much of an appetite. Knowing I had to eat something, I made myself presentable and threw on a long cloak to cover the fact that I was dressed for bed.

I exited my room and made my way to the dining hall. There weren’t many people. A kitchen servant asked what I would like so I gave the request of some fruit.

I sat down and waited patiently for my food. It wasn’t long until a small girl plopped into the seat across from me. I recognized her as Ned’s youngest daughter.

“Hello there! You must be Arya.”

“And you’re Jon’s mother.”

I laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you, child, but Jon is not my son.”

“So then you’re just the king’s sister? Nothing else?”

Oh, this one was amusing.

“I suppose not. I really am disappointing, aren’t I?”

“Kind of. Everyone whispers about you like you’re some kind of legend. But you’re not. You’re just some lady in a fancy dress- not even as fancy as it ought to be seeing as you’re the king’s sister.”

“Don’t let her fool you, Arya,” Benjen said, sitting next to the girl. “Lady Cassandra here once fought off a dozen men to save your father and the king. She is excellent with both a bow and a sword.”

I smiled at Benjen, sticking my tongue out teasingly- something a lady most certainly should not do. When the servant came to bring my fruit, Benjen placed his own request for food.

“You fought in the rebellion,” Arya asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

“I did. Someone had to protect your father’s back as he was too busy protecting King Robert’s.”

“Would you spar with me? Mother won’t let me spar since all we have are men to spar with. Maybe if she sees that you’re willing, she’ll allow it.”

“Arya, I think you should ask your father about this,” Benjen advised. “Your mother is busy tending to Bran.”

“How is the boy,” I interjected.

“The Maesters are unsure. He’s in a prolonged state of sleep they said. They don’t know if he’ll wake soon. Maester Luwin said that he believes the boy will wake eventually, but much prayers are needed.”

“I will go to the Godswood later,” I promised.

“You pray to the old gods,” Arya asked. “I thought everyone in King’s Landing worshipped the new gods.”

“Well, I was raised a little differently than most women that live in King’s Landing.” I gave her a wink, which made her smile once more.

“Go, child. Your mother may not be up to chiding you to get ready for bed, but I am,” Benjen commanded, ruffling his niece’s hair.

Once Arya left, Benjen and I fell into a comfortable silence. I ate my fill of fruit and picked a few pieces of roasted boar from the ranger’s plate. People drifted in and out of the hall, some dining quickly, some taking their plates to their rooms. I noticed Ned never came down. I assume his and Cat’s food were taken to Bran’s room for them. I grabbed a plate and piled it with items I knew Ned would like. I brought it up to my room and set it near the fire, hoping it would keep it warm enough, just in case he hadn’t had a chance to eat.

After, I went to the Godswood to fulfill my promise of sending up prayers for Bran. It was a quick trip since it was so dark out. Without an escort, my courage took a dive. The cold breeze rustling the leaves in the night gave me an ominous feeling, like I was on the verge of something terrible. It was then I understood what Ned had always meant.

Winter is coming.

I returned to my reading nook and lit a candle. While the view of the moon was so beautiful in the North, it was not enough to light the pages for me to read. There I waited, fighting back sleep.

Just when I thought my exhaustion would win out, I heard a commotion on the other side of our passageway. Ned appeared from the wall, smiling when he saw me.

“You’re still awake,” he whispered. “I wasn’t sure if it was too late.”

“Nearly. I don’t think I would have been able to keep my eyes open much longer. I brought a plate of food up for you. Have you eaten?”

Ned shook his head. I retrieved the plate and handed it to him. As he ate, I filled two goblets with wine. I gave him one to wash the food down. He gladly accepted it.

“You always take such good care of me.”

“How’s your boy, Ned? Benjen filled me in at dinner.”

“Nothing has changed since then. Cat is a wreck, which is to be expected. I’m being eaten alive by guilt. I never host hunting parties and the one time I do, my boy falls from a tower. Is that some sort of omen?”

“No, Ned, don’t let those thoughts in because they will bury themselves deep in your conscience. Nothing you did today caused your boy to fall.”

“Nothing? You don’t think the gods were punishing me for being unfaithful to my wife? Because that’s what has been screaming in my head all day. Bran fell because I  fell.”

I closed my mouth shut, unsure of what to say. I knew where this conversation was heading. Part of me had known when I saw the note. It was inevitable. Ned placed the empty plate down on a table.

“Cassandra, today was a mistake. We cannot repeat our actions. I love you so much, but I will not put my selfish feelings above the well being of my children.”

I nodded, trying to keep the tears in. I had no idea why I was crying; I had known this was coming.

“When I came here, I knew this is the conversation we would eventually have. You have given me the reassurance that you did love me. You didn’t just leave me because you found someone prettier.”

“Tell me, Andra, why did you not show up when I called for you? I told myself before that meeting that if you asked me to marry you still, I would have. I would have gone against Jon Arryn and my mother. I would have even threatened to take the black like Benjen. Jon Arryn would have allowed it then; he wouldn’t have had the Stark name die with me. It could have been us.”

I sighed. I looked into Ned’s eyes and placed my hand on his chest.

“I have loved you fiercely for what seems like all my life. I practically grew up here in Winterfell. Even when you were a ward of Jon Arryn, I came to stay with Lyanna. Your father loved you and I could see you had the utmost respect for the man. When I read your letter asking me to meet with you, Robert had already told me of your plan to take responsibility for Brandon’s match with Catelyn. Your father may have been gone, but I knew you would have spoken to Jon concerning the matter.

“I was not going to be the one to stand in between you and your only father figure. I know what your honor means to you, Ned. I did not want to be the constant reminder that when you needed to step into the role of the eldest Stark and do your duty, you didn’t. That was in the case that you truly did love me and wanted to meet to tell me you weren’t taking the match with Cat.

“But then there was the other possibility that you would stand there in front of me and tell me you didn’t love me and were happily choosing Cat over me. Either way, I was not prepared to see you then. I wasn’t even prepared to see you now! I begged Robert to let me stay home. I didn’t want to look into your beautiful eyes, the eyes I fell so hard for, and be told no.”

Ned covered my hand on his chest with his own. He brought my fingers to his lips and placed a gentle kiss to them.

“You were a fool, Cassandra Baratheon, if you thought for one second that I would choose anyone over you,” he whispered down to me. “But I cannot now. I have a family to take care of. They must come first.”

“I understand, Lord Stark.”

I tried to pull my hand away, but Ned held me firmly. I looked up once more to see the emotions again warring in his eyes. I smiled sadly, knowing I would have to be the strong one tonight. I would not fail as I did earlier.

“Go to your wife, Ned. She needs you during this trying time.”

“Once, Andra, you were everything to me.”

“I know, Ned. And I’m so thankful for the time that I was.”

With that, he was gone.

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, I kept to myself. I tried to stay in my room as much as possible. I went to the kitchens instead of the dining hall for meals. I never called on Catelyn to express my condolences. Instead, I went to the Godswood every day to send my prayers. I tried to pull myself away from the Stark’s in general. They were not my family and I had been too friendly since coming here. I reaffirmed my boundaries and never let anyone step over them.

I had done a good job until a week into our stay. It was then Robert informed me that we would be riding home the next morning. I felt a sense of relief.

“Once we get home, Brother, I plan to go back to Storm’s End. You’ll have your new Hand. You won’t need me in the capital.”

“Renly can handle Storm’s End, Cass. Let him do the hard work. After all, your arrangement benefits him more than you. I think it would be best if you stayed with me in King’s Landing.”

“Robert-“ I started.

“Cassandra, finally all three of us will be making decisions together- just as we did during the rebellion. It’ll be great! I know things haven’t gone the way you wanted, but this will be good for you. More time for you and Ned to get closer; more time for us to make memories. Our two houses will finally be united! I don’t want you to miss this era of my reign. I don’t want to go through this era of my reign without you.”

I smiled softly.

“I could never deny you a thing, big brother.”

“Good. Now tell me what’s happened between you and Ned. You two were attached at the hip our first two days here. After the hunting party, I haven’t seen you two in the same room.”

“Robert, I don’t want to get into all that.”

“Humor me, Cassandra.”

“The day his boy fell… we had done something.”

Robert looked shocked.

“Not- not your maiden hood? You can’t remarry if-“

“No, nothing like that,” I said soothing my brother. “It was a something that would be seen as adultery in the eyes of the old gods and the new. Ned believes what happened to his son was directly related to what transpired between us. He doesn’t want anything to do with me now. As it should be. We’re both married. We have no business allowing our childish “what ifs” come to life.”

Robert smiled sadly.

“I always thought I had it worse than you with Lyanna’s death. At least I don’t have to wonder about the “what ifs”. I know we would have been happy.”

I smiled softly at my brother.

“Ned’s youngest daughter reminds me so much of her. The same strong-willed boyish little girl she was.”

Robert let out a chuckle.

“Aye, I can see that. I haven’t spent much time with the girl, but she has some of Lyanna’s prominent Stark features. Now the eldest girl, the one to marry Joffrey, she has Tully blood through and through.”

I nodded. “She does look so much like her mother. We better be careful or Petyr will try to get his hands on her.”

Robert and I burst into laughter. We knew his court and advisors better than anyone. Petyr was obsessed with Catelyn, just as I was with Ned.

“At least your love was true. You also try to hide it from the world,” Robert said. “That man is so outwardly in love with someone who only ever looked at him as a brother.”

“Well, brother. I better go get packed. I’m sure your queen will want to leave at first light.”

“My queen is not made for the North.”

“Not everyone is,” I said, kissing his forehead before leaving him to his meal. “I love you, Robert. Never doubt that.”

“Sister, your love is the only one I don’t doubt.”

I left to my chambers, prepared to get ready for the next day. There was a small knock on my open door. I turned to face the visitor only to come face to face with Ned.

“Lord Stark,” I said, my pulse quickening. “How may I be of service?”

“I know you haven’t called on us to express your sympathy out of respect,” he started, “but Cat has noticed and is taking it as more of a slight. I just came to ask that you try to see her, if you can find it in your heart to do so. I think it would help soothe the rocky waters between all of us.”

“Of course, Lord Stark. Would it be better if I went with you or on my own?”

“I don’t think seeing us walking in together would help Cat very much. I believe Jon is planning to say goodbye to Brian in the morning. Maybe then?”

“Of course, I’ll talk to him. Is he coming to King’s Landing?”

Ned smiled sadly.

“He will be joining the Nights Watch.”

With that, he turned to leave. I tried to push the ache that I felt to the back of my mind at his absence.

It’s done, Cassandra. There’s nothing left for you with him.

I finished packing my bags, leaving out a change of clothes for the morning. I decided I would stick to my room again today. There was no reason to leave; I’d just be in the way.

The next morning, I found Jon.

“Lady Cassandra!” He had a warm welcoming smile on his face. Looking at him now, he reminded me so much of Lyanna.

“Jon Snow,” I greeted, with a small smile. “I heard you were going to say good bye to Bran. Is it alright if I join you?”

“Of course, My Lady. Although, Lady Stark has no place in her heart for me. It will not be a warm interaction.”

“I understand. She might dislike me even more than she does you. I figured if we went together she might direct her hatred more towards me, allowing you to have your good bye with your brother.”

Jon nodded.

“Shall we, then?”

I took Jon’s arm, just as I had done during the first night of the feast. I let him lead me to where Bran was recovering. When we made it to the door, he squared his shoulders as though building up his courage to open the door. I squeezed his arm, hoping to give him comfort before letting go of him.

He lightly knocked and entered the room. I followed right behind him. Cat gave us a hard stare as we stood there.

“I wanted to say goodbye,” Jon stated.

“I wanted to extend my sympathies to you and your household, Lady Stark.”

“You’ve said them,” she said, ice dripping in her voice. That was all I needed to say, so I turned to leave. Until I heard Jon’s footsteps getting farther from me. I looked behind me to see him approaching the bed, not caring about Catelyn’s  dismissal. I stopped, not wanting to leave the two alone.

Catelyn’s cold gaze followed him every move he made. Jon leaned over and said a heartfelt goodbye to his little brother. I don’t think my presence drifted Cat’s attention away from him at all. It was almost like she could only see Jon and she hated the very sight of him. I felt someone behind me place their hand on my arm, a silent signal to move out of the way. I stepped out of the way to allow Ned to enter. We watched the interaction together.

“It should have been you,” I heard Cat hiss to Jon.

It took everything I had in me not to step in and advocate for the boy. With rumors that I was his mother (and I doing nothing to thwart those rumors), I knew it would only make things worse if I tried. Jon placed a kiss on Bran’s forehead before turning his eyes to Cat.

“I want you to leave,” Cat commanded quietly, hatred laced in every syllable.

Jon looked towards the door and met his father’s gaze. Cat also looked our way and her ice demeanor melted slightly when she saw her husband. I waited for Jon to walk past me and I went to follow him. Out of habit, I went to place my hand on Ned’s arm as I passed, however I thought better of it and dropped my arm to my side.

“My sympathies, Lord Stark.” I opted for a bow of my head.

He nodded, looking down at me for only a second. Having said what propriety dictates I should say, I left the room. Ned closed the door behind us.

“Well, Jon, I’m afraid I didn’t ease her hatred for you at all.”

He stayed silent as we walked down the corridor. After a few minutes he finally spoke.

“I never understood why she hated me so much. I know having a bastard in the household is not ideal, especially since Father gave her no choice in the matter, but she could have tried to show me any form of kindness. He brought me as a babe after all.”

“I’m not saying what she did was okay, because it wasn’t. But understand that you are the reminder that her perfect, honorable husband had relations with another woman. When she sees you, she sees Ned’s deceit and the wound remains open, never allowing her to heal. It doesn’t help that you look more like Ned than any of her children. However, I would say you are right. The second your father brought you home, you should have been loved like any other child.”

“If you had married my father, would you have treated me like a son?”

“If I had married your father, I would have given you the Stark name,” I said, placing my hand on his shoulder. “That’s easy for me to say, because I’m not the one that walked in Cat’s steps.”

“I think that you would have. You have a mother’s love pouring out from you always.”

My heart leapt at his words. Becoming a mother was a dream of mine that I had long given up on. I spent many of my days in orphanages, just listening to the children talk. Knowing that others see me as I want to be seen was a very special thing for me.

“Jon,” I said, stopping him. “Is the Night’s Watch something you are sure want to do? I could take you on as my squire. I’m the king’s sister, there wouldn’t be a better position for a Snow.”

Jon looked at me with such intense emotion. I watched as his eyes turned shiny, tears forming in them.

“That… that means so much to me, Lady Cassandra. But my duty is to protect this realm in the North, as Starks have always done.”

I knew in that moment that Lyanna was smiling down at this boy. Ned had really done a fantastic job raising him.

“Then I will let it rest.”

“Shall I pack your bags onto a carriage for you, Lady Cassandra?”

“That would be very sweet of you, Jon. Thank you.”

We walked to my chambers and I showed him my two bags that I needed him to carry. I grabbed my saddlebags, already filled with snacks for the road. I tried to swing them over my shoulder, but Jon grabbed them from me. He placed them on his shoulder and grabbed the two bags I had showed him. He nodded at me and left, leaving me on my own.

I grabbed my bow from where it was perched as well as my quiver. I strapped the quiver onto my back and slung the bow on my shoulder. I took one last glance around the room and sighed.

“Goodbye, Winterfell,” I said, rapping on the doorframe three times, just like I had so many years before.

I met up with Jon in the courtyard. He was talking to Ned. I debated approaching them, not wanting Cat to see us all if she looked out the window. At the same time, Jon still had all my bags and I felt rude leaving him to deal with them.

“Father, I think she would love that. You should tell her the news yourself, though,” I heard Jon saying as I approached. “She is right there.”

Ned turned to face me. I could tell he wanted to get away from me quickly, which did hurt. However, I also understood his reason for distance.

“Lady Baratheon,” he said as I reached them. “I have a trade offer for you…”

I tilted my head to the side, much like a young hound would do when waiting for a treat.

“If you would be willing to leave the mare you rode in on, I would give you Snowfall. She would be yours and her home, Storm’s End.”

I wanted to throw my arms around him and cheer. I refrained, of course.

“Lord Stark, that is a generous and thoughtful offer. I would love to take Snowfall from you. The horse I rode in on was a good one. She’ll serve your house well.”

He nodded his approval of this trade. Then he left.

“I know it is none of my business, but something has happened between you two. Father is on edge around you, a stark difference between now and the hunting party.”

“I haven’t noticed,” I lied. Jon raised an eyebrow, tossing the saddlebags on Snowfall.

“Maybe because you disappeared for the remainder of your stay? I heard you were dining in the kitchens.”

I smiled at Jon.

“You truly are a Stark, you know that?” I asked, changing the subject.

“In all the ways except the one that matters. I don’t have the name.”

I shook my head.

“Names and titles are nice, but the Starks made their name mean something. They’ve always been known as the House of Honor. You’re going to watch the Wall, something most people find as a punishment, because you know that is where you are needed most. Mark my words, Jon, you are going to do great things up North. I’m not sure what, but I feel in deep in my bones. You might be a Snow, but you are destined for much more than a life of a bastard.”

He looked at me for a second before bowing his head.

“May I hug you, Lady Baratheon.”

I reached out and held the boy close. I squeezed him just as my mother always had when I needed her. Jon returned the embrace, hugging me so hard I thought a rib would break, but I didn’t care. This moment here was most likely the closest thing he had to a motherly connection with someone. Gods know Cat didn’t do a thing to show him any kindness. My heart broke. Lyanna would have wanted this boy to know a mother’s love. I should have fought Ned for him when I had the chance. I should have never let him take that little babe from my arms.

“I’m sorry, Jon,” I whispered into his curly hair. “I’m sorry we don’t have more time together. I would have loved you as though you were my own.”

“Thank you, Lady Cassandra. After a lifetime of knowing love only from my father, this has been enough,” he mumbled into my shoulder. We pulled apart from each other and I placed a hand on his cheek, squeezing lightly.

While he resembled Ned in so many ways, Jon really did look just like Lyanna. She would have loved this boy.

Chapter Text

We came to the point in our journey when Jon, Benjen, Tyrion and the other’s would break off to travel towards the wall. I had been riding next to Jon for most of the journey, not willing to be near my brother and Ned. After everything that has happened so far on our trip North, I wanted to put space between me and Ned.

As I saw the Hand of the King approaching us, I led Snowfall to Benjen so I could say my goodbye, leaving Jon an opportunity to speak to Ned. I stopped my mare alongside his horse, facing the same direction as him.

“I suppose this is it, isn’t Andra? Your last trip North?”

“I think so,” I said, solemnly. “Now that Robert has Ned, I doubt he’ll still drag me everywhere.”

“It’s so strange seeing my brother ready to ride South to King’s Landing. The last time a Stark did that-“

“Don’t go there,” I warned. “I’ll keep him safe. If I’ve learned anything in this life it’s how to survive in the capital. You keep yourself safe, aye? Jon too.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Benjen said. “Once we’re to the Wall, he won’t be my nephew anymore. He’ll be my brother and I’ll have to treat him as I do the rest. Special treatment is frowned upon and would probably get him a harder time from everyone else.”

I nodded in understanding. We both watched Jon and Ned’s exchange in silence. Benjen bumped my knee with his own. I let out a questioning hum, unable to take my eyes off of the two in front of us.

“He’s not Ned’s is he?”

“As far as I know, he is,” I lied.

“Is he yours?”

“No, of course not. Why does everyone think that?”

“If he’s not yours, then he’s not Ned’s.”

I looked over at my old friend. He was still watching Ned and Jon. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew and there would be no convincing him otherwise. I dropped my head back with an internal groan. I was going to have to tell Ned about this eventually.

“Lyanna loved that Targaryen prince,” Benjen said, venom laced in his words. I was shocked to hear such a tone come from his lips. Benjen was the fun-loving Stark, not a serious bone in his body. “She denied it all the time, but I knew. Ever since he gave her that damn flower at the tourney, I could see it in her eyes. It does hurts that she told Ned before me; I always thought we were the closer pair.”

“To be fair, I’m the one who told Ned. She only told me because I was like a sister to her and she wanted me there as much as possible during her months of pregnancy.”

“You told Ned? Wasn’t that after he married Cat? You still spoke?”

“Yes and no. We fought alongside each other in the rebellion, but my anger and hurt was still too fresh. Any words we exchanged were cold and held nothing but frustration. I would go visit your sister between battles when the situation allowed. Gods, Benjen, she was so sick during her pregnancy. I knew there wasn’t a chance she’d make it out of the birthing bed. She needed family there, but you were already at the Wall, so my nearest option was Ned.

”We argued about who should take him. Ultimately, he and Lyanna decided that because me raising him would imply that I was no longer pure and therefore no one would want to marry me, Ned would be the one to take him. Lyanna made us promise not to tell a soul. I’m asking the same of you now, Benjen. You must never tell him. He will have a target on his back all his life if anyone found out. The more people that know, including him, the more danger will be following him.”

“I understand, Cassandra. This truth dies with me. On my honor as a Stark.”

I watched Benjen’s eyes but only saw truth in them. It was then that Jon rode towards us, Ned turning back to join the royal party. Once he was next to me, Jon held out his hand. I put my hand in his and was surprised when he placed a kiss on the back of my fingers. I smiled warmly.

“It’s been a pleasure, Jon Snow. Take care of yourself at the Wall. I expect a letter for every accomplishment, including the moment you swear your oath.”

“Farewell, Lady Cassandra. Thank you for the kindness you have shown me during your stay at Winterfell.”

With that, Benjen and Jon rode to join the rest of their party. I watched them for as long as I could, not ready to head back to reality. Once Snowfall started stamping her feet out of restlessness, I pulled on the rein and turned her back towards where the royal entourage was heading.

I saw that Ned was still waiting where he had bid Jon farewell. I suppose he sent his men ahead of him and decided to stay. I tentatively approached, not sure of his reasoning. I did not stop to speak to him and just rode past. He followed, confirming that he was waiting for me. Ned’s larger horse easily caught up to me. We rode side by side in silence, neither acknowledging the other.

Once the quiet space between us became almost unbearable for me, I looked to Ned.

“Race you back to the group?”

He nodded, accepting my challenge. We both kicked our horses into gear. Ned’s mare was no match for Snowfall. She easily pulled ahead, cantering at a comfortable pace for me.

I reached out my arms, letting the reins fall. I squeezed my legs around Snowfall’s stomach, allowing me to keep my balance as I enjoyed the air blowing past me. I chanced a glance behind me to see Ned nearing, a wide smile on his face as he watched us.

“Robert, please,” I begged. “We should get to King’s Landing without delay.”

“I know, Sister. But the Queen wants to rest.”

I rolled my eyes. The Queen wanted to find somewhere quiet so her brother could fuck her.

“Will you give me leave to continue on my own, then?”

“Absolutely not! The King’s Road is dangerous. Why the rush to get home?”

“I just don’t see how setting up camp all day will help. It’s only going to delay us.”

“We’re allowing everyone to stretch their legs. Tomorrow we’ll continue on our way. This is the last I’ll hear of the matter,” Robert said in a final tone.

Frustrated, I stood up and took my leave. I needed to find The Hound and get drunk. This journey has taken too long for my liking.

I found Sandor with Joffrey as well as Cersei, Jaime, Ned, Sansa, and Jory, one of Ned’s men. I approached the group cautiously. If Joffrey laid a hand on the Stark girl, I would personally see to the castration, regardless of him being my brother’s heir.

“What’s going on,” I asked Jory in a low whisper.

“Arya Stark is missing. Something to do with the Sansa and the prince.”

My eyes widened. Arya was missing? I could see Ned’s panic in his eyes.

“Ned,” I started, “we’ll find her. Clegane, Jory, send your men to search for her. No one rests until the girl is safely returned to her father. Jaime, go inform the king on the matter. My queen, I urge you to stay and take care of Joffrey. We’ll do the rest.”

Cersei nodded, grabbing Joffrey by the shoulders and looking for their Maester. Everyone split up to do their jobs.

“Sansa, take Lady to the kennel and get up to your room,” Ned commanded the girl. Sansa nodded, hurrying to do as her father said.

“We’ll find her,” I repeated. “I assume her wolf is missing too?”

“Aye.”

“Then we’ll do this the old fashioned way,” I said, going to grab my bow off of Snowfall. “I’m going to head south.”

Nightfall came before long. It seemed that we had searched everywhere. I had no idea where this little girl went, but we spent all day trying to track her down. I was wandering the woods in the dark when I saw a torch approaching. I paused, wanting to see who was attached to the light.

“Arya,” Ned bellowed out. “Arya!”

Feeling better knowing that it was a friend and not a Lannister soldier, I ran towards him.

“Ned! Let me follow you. I didn’t bring a torch.”

He stopped long enough for me to catch up.

“Arya,” we called out together, continuing are search.

“Cat is going to kill me,” Ned said gravely. “Only two weeks on the road and I’ve already lost a child.”

“To be fair, it is Arya. Anyone would lose that child if she didn’t want to be found. Besides, Ned, we’ll find her. Arya!”

“Arya,” Ned’s call rang out.

“My lord,” Jory called riding up to us. I grabbed Ned’s arm to stop him. “My lord! They found her, she’s unharmed.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s been taken directly before the king,” Jory reported.

Shit.

“Who took her?”

“The Lannisters found her.”

“Right, get back,” Ned commanded.

“The queen ordered them to bring her straight to him.”

That bitch.

“Back to the inn,” all the Northern men started chanting.

We found our way back in no time. My heart quickened, praying my brother waits until Ned is there to deliver any verdict. Any smart man would know not to fuck with the North.

Once we made it back, I followed behind Ned. The crowd parted like a fork in a river as he walked towards his daughters. The Lannister men shows resistance, which Ned swiftly shoved them out of the way, glancing at Robert before turning to his daughter. I walked straight over to Robert, standing to his right and lowering my head down to his.

“Why was he not informed the second she was found,” I whispered to him, taking care not to let anyone hear me. Robert pulled back and glared at me.

“You forget, Sister, who wears the crown,” he hissed.

“No, Robert. You do not get to pull rank in this matter. Ned is a friend and an ally. Arya should have been taken to her room and Ned made aware of her safe return immediately. You know this. Do not begin this ‘era of your reign’ by offending your newly appointed Hand.”

Robert’s glare softened. Clearly, Cersei has been in his ear today, because this behavior would only had come from her influence.

“What is the meaning of this? Why was my daughter not brought to me at once?”

“How dare you speak to your king in that manner,” Cersei asked.

“Quiet, woman,” Robert ordered, much to my enjoyment. “Sorry, Ned, I never meant to frighten the girl. But we need to get this business done quickly.”

The “business” he spoke of boiled down to a simple case of he said she said. Joffrey claims the wolf attacked him unprovoked; Arya defended that Joffrey had been hurting a friend of hers. Knowing my insufferable nephew, I was inclined to believe Arya. That was until Robert addressed Sansa, who said that she didn’t see what happened. Arya had swiftly grabbed her hair and began yanking, calling her a liar. It took one look at Joffrey’s amused face to know he was, in fact, the liar in the situation.

“See to it that your girl is disciplined and I’ll do the same with my boy,” Robert said, deciding the matter was done.

“And what of the direwolf? What of the beast that savaged your son?”

I could punch her in the face if it wouldn’t earn me a death sentence that even Robert couldn’t protect me from.

“I’d forgot about the damn wolf,” Robert mutter turning to the Lannister man that presumably found Arya.

“We found no sign of the direwolf, your grace,” the soldier reported.

“So be it.”

“We have another wolf,” Cersei suggested. Robert looked to her.

“As you will,” he said moving to leave.

“You’re not serious,” Ned said when Robert was in front of him.

“Get her a dog. She’ll be better off for it.”

Sansa and Arya started protesting as Robert made to leave the room.

“This is your command?”

Robert kept walking. I glared daggers at Cersei. Cersei started to tell Illyn Payne to kill the beast, when Ned stepped forward, saying he’d do it himself. Placing my arms around their shoulders, I led the Stark girls to their room with Jory.

“This isn’t fair,” Sansa cried.

“Lady didn’t do anything,” her sister screamed.

I bent down in front of both of them. Sansa’s eyes were red and puffy from crying, while Arya’s tears streaked through grime covering her face. They both tried to calm down as I stayed there, waiting.

“Listen, girls,” I began, “Once we are in King’s Landing, nothing will be fair. Innocent people are hurt, or worse, and evil people get ahead. If you wish to survive in the city, you will need to learn to fight, whether it be with a sword or with your words. Now, go get some sleep. Jory and I will be out here until your father returns.”

The girls entered their shared room, still exclaiming that it was not fair. I leaned against the wall next to their door with Jory doing the same on the other side, both of us waiting to see Ned return before leaving the girls. As we stayed there, I could hear the girls wailing turn to tears, tears turn to sniffles, and sniffles eventually turn to light snores. Jory and I exchanged a solemn glance, seeming to understand each other.

This is only the beginning.

When we finally saw Ned walking down the hall, I stood up straight. He looked perplexed as he approached us. There was clearly something on his mind and I knew exactly what it was.

“My lord,” Jory began, “the girls went to bed without argument.”

I smiled, knowing that wasn’t exactly true. There was argument, but nothing that was directed at me or Ned’s man. It was nice to see that Jory wasn’t a robotic soldier that just wanted to report everything to his lord. That one sentence showed me he cared about the girls as well; I could only hope the rest of the Northern men thought the same. The Starks would need all the protection they could get in King’s Landing.

“That’s good to hear. Thank you both. Jory, if you could send some men to bury the wolf by morning, I would appreciate it.”

“Of course, Lord Stark,” his man said, going to do as Ned commanded.

Ned’s eyes turned to me and I could see the steel behind them. I reached out and touched his face, wishing I could take away his angry and frustration. At first, Ned pulled away. We stared hard at each other until he closed his eyes and brought his face back to my hand, giving in to my silent request. He allowed me to hold him there.

“This will not be the last heartbreak your girls will know,” I whispered to him. “King’s Landing is not for the feint of heart.”

“Have I made a mistake coming to this place?”

“They will learn, Ned, whether or not you want them to. They’d marry eventually, might as well learn with their father around to teach them,” I said earnestly. “Robert needs you. You’re going to laugh when I say this, but I can feel it in my gut. Winter is coming.”

At my words, Ned’s eyes seemed to brighten in awe. He leaned in ever so slightly, placing his forehead on mine.

“It’s as though the gods crafted you themselves. Piece by piece, perfectly made to be mine,” he whispered, his hands coming up to my hips and squeezing my sides.

Internally, my brain was screaming to close the inches that separated us and kiss him. I wouldn’t open that sack of worms though. Not now, not when he’s warring with different emotions. Instead, I removed my hand from his face and lightly pushed his hands off of my hips.

“Tell your girls if they need anything in the capital to find me. Do not allow them to go to Cersei, Ned. She’s not as she seems.”

“You’ll be staying in King’s Landing? I was under the impression that you would be returning to Storm’s End.”

“No, Robert wants me in the capital. My husband will handle the affairs of our home,” I confessed before forcing myself to walk away. “Have a good night, Lord Stark.”

Chapter Text

I finally made it back to the Red Keep and I could not have been happier. After the ride through the city, with stares, whispers, and even accusations thrown my way, I was ready to get to my room and sleep the next few days away. This journey has truly taken its toll on my mentally and physical health. I gave Snowfall’s reins to the Baratheon stable master.

“This is Snowfall, my new mare. Take good care of her,” I said, bowing my head in thanks. I started to head towards my chambers when one of Robert’s staff came running up to me.

“My lady! My lady! The small council has gathered. Varys wanted you to be made aware as soon as you arrived.”

“We just got back,” I groaned out, changing my route to head towards the meeting room.

Once in the throne room, I passed Jamie who was on his way out. He gave me a quick cordial smile. I did the same, trying to get to the small council quickly so that I could hurry up to my rooms after. As I entered, I was happy to see that they were all present and accounted for, including Ned. Petyr was saying something about Catelyn- no surprise there.

“Lady Cassandra,” Maester Pycelle greeted warmly. Everyone turned towards me at his words. Different greetings were thrown around. I walked over to Renly.

“Baby Brother,” I greeted, pulling him into an embrace.

“Sister! How was your journey?”

“When will you two address each other as husband and wife,” Petyr questioned before I could respond to my brother.

“Whenever I damn well please, Baelish,” I snapped at him. He held his hands up in defense.

“I meant no offense, Lady Cassandra. I just was taking note that since you two wed, you’ve never called him ‘husband’. It just strikes me as odd.”

I could punch the infuriating man. Gods, he was annoying.

“Let’s get this over with. I am tired, cranky, and hungry,” I said taking my seat next to Renly.

The meeting went by poorly. Clearly there was something bothering the new Hand of the King. Once Ned found out how much debt Robert had accrued during his reign, he was appalled. He thwarted all plans for a tourney, which I was grateful for. When Baelish tried to push to start making plans, Ned snapped at him. I wasn’t surprised with how insufferable Petyr decided to be today.

“My apologies,” Ned said, rubbing his face. “I’ve had a long journey.”

Varys responded that we were at his service, which was true. The Hand was a step below the king; we reported to Ned. At the end of it all, I did get my wish for a quick meeting. Ready to lie down, I was the first that stood to leave. I started walking towards the door when I felt an iron grip around my wrist. I sighed, preparing to punch Petyr in his face.

Instead, it was Ned, still sitting in his designated seat. He was looking at me with fury dancing in his irises. I knew what he wanted: answers. Part of me wanted to scream at him; he had no right to be angry with me. But the other part of me, the one that loved him, gave in.

“Not here,” I whispered into his ear, leaning down. “Follow me.”

He nodded and let go of my wrist. I led him through the castle and into my rooms, which had a loosened wall panel that opened up into a small room.  It was just large enough for two people, maybe three if all persons were children. No one knew of this spot and it allowed me to share secrets without fear of someone overhearing. I grabbed Ned’s hand and pulled him behind me, grabbing a lit candle for light.

“There are eyes and ears everywhere in the Keep,” I told him. “If there’s a conversation to be had in private, you must make sure that you are truly alone. I’m sure someone saw us enter my chambers together, so be prepared for whispers to begin.”

Ned nodded, looking to the left and right. With darkness all around us, he relaxed a little. Until he looked towards me again, then his fury was back in full force.

“I have been racking my brain since the inn as to who in the nine realms you might have married? I surely hadn’t heard that you were wed. I was going through every lord I could think of, but him? Renly?!” He spat out the name like it was poison on his tongue. “You married your own brother? What kind of twisted game are you playing at?”

“It’s not like that,” I defended, tucking a brown lock of hair behind my ear.

“Then tell it true,” Ned commanded. I took a deep breath, something my mother taught me to do before I reacted like one of my hotheaded brothers. It was a method that came in handy quite a bit.

“I will say this once, Lord Stark. I owe you nothing. Any secrets I confide or any explanations I give are because I want to- not because you demanded.”

Ned’s angry gaze softened some. I could tell my words had pierced his stormy demeanor. He knew I was right.

“Then, please, Cassandra, explain to me how the woman I love ended up marrying her own brother. That’s something the Targaryen’s were always chastised for. Now you’ve gone and done the same?”

“After you tossed me aside-“

“Oh, don’t start that,” he said, stepping closer to me. “Don’t act like you were not begging for a kiss barely two months ago. Animosity will get us nowhere.”

I bit my lip, humiliation seeping into my veins. He was right, of course. I had a habit of letting my temper get the better of me. I took another breath, trying to keep my composure. I was unsure why I was harboring so much anger in my heart today.

“After you chose to marry Catelyn,” I began, “Robert tried to find me suitable matches. I pleaded with him to let me live without marriage for as long as I could. If there was ever a proposal that Robert thought would work well, he would ask me to meet the man. I would, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get along with any of them. I wanted to, Ned. I wanted to move on and be the perfect wife for someone who deserved me. It never worked out though. Robert said I was being too picky, but every time I met another suitor, my conscience would scream that it was wrong.

“When it came time for Robert to take the crown and had to rename the Lord of Storm’s End, he wanted to give the honor to me, the second eldest Baratheon. Jon Arryn refused to let him, since I was a woman without a husband. Robert came to me again, asking if I’d finally choose a husband, especially since Storm’s End was on the line. It was around that same time that we learned Renly was not…attracted to women.”

I paused, waiting for Ned’s reaction. He said nothing and only looked at me to continue. So I did.

“I approached Robert with the request that Renly and I be wed. I could finally live without the pressing need for a husband, and Renly could roll around with any man of his choosing. That’s why Stannis was passed up as Lord of Storm’s End and given Dragonstone. Robert agreed on the condition that I stay celibate so that I could remarry when I found the man who could fill the void you left in my heart.”

Ned watched me intently as I spoke. At some point in my tale, he had slid his arms around me, holding me closer to him. I hadn’t even noticed as I was too caught up in finally telling someone the truth. I felt as though a huge weight was off of my shoulders. The relief of sharing my reality was enough to make tears pool in my eyes.

“To be completely honest, Renly does have the better end of the bargain, seeing as most people view the leader of Storm’s End as him- not me. All I get out of this arrangement is a place to call home and the knowledge that I will never have to settle for someone I don’t love. So now I have to deal with people called me things like ‘brother fucker’ and ‘incestuous whore’. And being known as such things is worth it to me because the thought sharing a marriage bed with any man makes me feel violated in the worst ways.”

I hadn’t realized that the tears had started falling until both of Ned’s hand cupped my cheeks, his thumbs softly swiping away the droplets that fell. I looked up at him, ready to see his disappointment. Instead, I saw his loving gaze bearing down on me. I hadn’t seen this look from him since before the rebellion- before he decided to marry Catelyn. It was a side of him that he shut away when he left me behind. I longed to kiss him now more than ever. It would have been perfect there in the dark, where only we would know. By the way he was looking at me, it was safe to say that Ned would not stop my advances.

He is not mine to have though.

“Go see to your household,” I said in response, needing to be away from him. Any longer and my resolve would crumble. “Make sure they are finding their new home agreeable. Let me know how Robert reacts when you tell him no tourney.”

“Thank you for confiding in me, Andra.”

Ned placed a light kiss on my forehead before leaving. The panel shut behind him, leaving me with only the light of the candle. I leaned back against the wall, allowing my body to slide to the floor.

It was there that I stayed, tears freely flowing by that time. I blew out the candle, allowing the darkness engulf me.

Chapter Text

A few days later, I found myself back in another small council meeting. These things always seemed to last forever. It was a second meeting to catch Ned up with more of the Crown’s situation. I began to twiddle my thumbs in my lap; nothing about this meeting pertained to me.

After it was over, I followed the line of council members out the door. When Petyr stopped, I nearly ran into him, my head in the clouds rather than the present. I leaned to the side to see Ned was in the center of the throne room, reading a scroll.

“Have you told your wife the news,” Petyr prompted.

“My wife is in Winterfell,” Ned responded curtly.

“Is she?” Petyr asked in that horribly insufferable tone that made him sound like he knew everything. He kept walking, leaving Ned and I looking at each other. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking what I made of this situation.

“I hadn’t heard any whispers, but it’s worth checking out.”

“Come with me,” he requested.

“Ned, if Catelyn is here, she doesn’t want to see me.”

“She’s not here, Cassandra. She would have let me know. I want you to come so once I start beating Petyr’s face in, when it’s revealed that Baelish is in fact jesting about something so serious, you can be my witness and justify my actions to your bother.”

I shrugged, smiling playfully. Sound reasoning, I suppose. I followed Ned as he made to go after Bealish. We wound down through the streets. It wasn’t until I saw the building ahead that I realized where Petyr was leading us.

“It’s a brothel,” I warned Ned. “This will not look good for either of us.”

Once we got closer, Baelish explained that he owned the establishment. That must have been the last straw for Ned because he grabbed Petyr’s jaw and slammed him against the wall next to the door.

I smiled, so very ready for another Stark to teach Baelish a lesson. Gods know the man needs it; he believes himself too high and mighty for my taste.

“You dare bring Lady Baratheon, sister of the king and the Lady of Storm’s End, to a place like this? You dare bring the Hand of the King here? You think yourself a funny man?”

Gods, he is still so sexy.

“Ned,” a voice called down, right at the moment I was sure Ned would bruise Baelish’s windpipe. I looked up to see Catelyn Stark looking down at her husband, excitement in her eyes.

I shared a look with Ned quickly.

What do you want me to do?

Ned tilted his head towards the door, signaling for me to follow. I sighed and did so, being sure to pull my cloak to cover as much of my face as possible. We made our way to the room Baelish had Catelyn waiting in. She embraced Ned when she saw him. I plopped myself on bench by the wall, trying to remain invisible.

I watched as Cat told Ned all about her theory that the Lannister’s tried to kill Bran. I furrowed my brows, that was unlike Cersei to try to kill a boy through a hired assassin. She normally goes for the natural tragedy strategy.

“Petyr says that this blade belongs to Tyrion Lannister,” she stated excitedly, as though she were making a remarkable discovery. “I know it in my bones, Ned. He hired someone to kill Bran.”

“No, he most certainly did not.”

It was then I scoffed from my place. All eyes turned to me.

“Lady Baratheon,” Cat said coldly. “I didn’t realize your profession in the capital was so…questionable.”

Is this bitch insinuating that I am a whore?

“I will refrain from returning any insults, Lady Stark, for the sake of the Lord Hand. However, I will not stand by and allow you to drag Tyrion Lannister’s name through the mud. He would never do such a thing. He’s got a soft place for ‘cripples, bastards, and broken things’, as he likes to say. Besides, there’s no way he owned Valyrian steel blade. Tywin Lannister has been so desperate to get his fingers on Valyrian steel; if Tyrion truly owned this blade, he would have given it to his father as a gift.”

Cat glared at me before turning to Ned.

“Ned, I know that it was him.”

“And I know that it wasn’t,” I stated firmly, not caring who I pissed off. “Do not do anything rash against Tyrion without a thorough investigation into these claims, Ned, please. It will do no one any good to falsely accuse the brother of the queen. He may be the Lannister outcast, but he is still a Lannister.”

Ned seemed to consider my words before nodding.

“We need more proof, Cat,” he said to his wife. “I will investigate this matter further.”

“Petyr has promised to help us find the truth,” she said. “He is like a brother to me.”

I could see where Ned wanted nothing to do with Little Finger’s ‘help’. But for the sake of his wife, he stayed quiet. He took the blade and held to out to me.

“Can you find a safe place for this in the Keep?”

“Of course, Lord Stark,” I replied, grabbing it from him.

“You’re going to trust her with it? She is trying to defend Tyrion.”

Ned’s gaze darkened. I froze, not sure how he wanted to proceed. I looked between him and Cat, my arm still outstretched with the blade. He turned his steely eyes to his wife.

“I trust Cassandra with my life. Do not question me on this, Catelyn.”

She pressed on, ignoring his warning.

“And the lives of our children?” She was almost accusatory, as though I slaughter high born children on a regular basis. I wanted to be offended, but Ned left no time for me to.

“Aye, I do. I trust her with all six of my children; and I believe she is the only one in Westeros that I can say that about. Take the blade, Cass, I’ll come for it later.”

I bowed my head and took my leave, all too happy to get away from both Baelish and Catelyn Stark. He said he trusted me, but what went unspoken was the fact that he didn’t trust Cat, at least not with Jon. As horrible as it sounded, I couldn’t help the swell of pride that I felt.

I examined the blade as I walked through the city. Tyrion would have shown me such a beauty if it was his- I was sure of it. Once he returned to King’s Landing, I would ask him. Until then, I just had to keep Ned from doing anything stupid.

The next morning, I waited by the port, looking for my old sword master. When I spotted curly hair getting off one of the smaller transport boats, I knew it could only be Syrio Forel. I made my way towards him, excited to get reacquainted.

“Syrio,” I called, reaching a hand out to him.

“Lady Andra!” He gave me his signature Syrio grin and I couldn’t help but return it. It truly was contagious.

“Come, let’s get you settled in. Thank you for coming back on short notice.”

“Anything for you, Cassandra. No need to get settled; I’m eager to meet this Stark child. I’ll go straight there, yes?”

“Anything for my old teacher. I’ll warn you though, she’s stubborn, Syrio. You’re going to have to get through to her.”

“If I can get you to take instruction, Cassandra, I can get anyone to.”

I smiled as we made our way through the city, Baratheon men following us as my protection. When we finally made it to the Red Keep, I led Syrio to the room I knew Ned wanted him to train Arya in. When Ned had first approached me about possible teachers for Arya, I had been flattered to know he heeded my opinion enough to choose someone for him. I immediately put up Syrio, explaining that while he charges what he’s worth, there would not be finer sword teacher for Arya in the realms.

I watched as Syrio got familiar with his surroundings. He produced two training swords from a bag he had brought with him.

“Shall we dance, Cassandra?”

I laughed and grabbed on of the swords from him. We each took our stances, mine a perfect mirror of his. Syrio bowed his head, complimenting me on my form. After all these years, knowing I had his approval made me practically giddy. I gave him a smirk before beginning our dance.

We moved together, blocking and parrying each other’s attempts at a blow. Our feet moved back and forth, much like the water dance he taught me all those years ago. With my left hand I held my sword and with my right I grabbed a fistful of my skirts, holding my dress so as not to trip over it.

Syrio’s strikes became faster and faster which meant my parries had to speed up to match his movements. I watched for any opening, but Syrio left little room for error. His swings were getting stronger and my arm was tiring quickly. I sighed, knowing I was beat before we even got there. I tried my best to keep up, but all it took was me raising my sword just a second too slow for Syrio to land a blow to my bicep.

“You dance well, Cassandra. Just not as fast as Syrio, ah?”

I smiled, bowing my head and holding out his training sword.

“It seems I am lacking in my endurance. I’ll return to practicing everyday. Next time we dance, Syrio Forel, I will be the victor.”

I left him there to get settled, walking into the dining area of the Hand’s Wing. There was a bowl of fruit, so I grabbed a few grapes and sat down. Ned had asked if I would stay until Arya showed up, just to make sure she was receptive to learning from Syrio.

It was only a few minutes after the designated training time that Arya walked through the door. I could see her through the wide crack in the door, watching as her confusion turned to excitement, and her excitement to determination.

I stood up and stepped into the designated training room so that I could better watch the duo spar. It wasn’t long until I felt someone step behind me. I didn’t bother turning around; I knew it was Ned. We watched together for a few moments before I spoke.

“Did you see Catelyn off this morning?”

There was no response. I nearly hung my head in shame. Of course he wouldn’t want to talk about Cat leaving. I sighed and turned to apologize.

“I’m sorry, N-“ I stopped when I saw the expression on his face. He was lost, somewhere deep in his mind. By the furrow of his brow, it was not a good place to be. I recognized this look. I saw it reflected in mirrors and pools of water when I would get lost myself, replaying the horrors I saw- the horrors I committed.

I looked behind my shoulder to make sure Arya was focused on Syrio and not her father. Clearly the girl hadn’t even noticed us enter the room. She was so focused on thwarting Syrio.

I put my hands on Ned’s chest, pushing him back until he was in the other room. I shut the door behind me, hoping that no one could hear us.

“Hey, Ned,” I called, placing my hand on his cheek. “Come back to me, Ned.”

I shook him lightly which seemed to do the trick. He blinked his eyes a few times before his vision finally focused on me.

“I’m so-“

“Don’t apologize; it happens to many of us. Where’d you go in that head of yours?”

Ned stayed silent, his gaze finding a spot behind me so he didn’t have to meet my eyes.

“When I go to those places,” I began, “it’s normally the battle where I almost lost you.”

Ned shifted his gaze back to me, clasping his hand over mine. He placed a light kiss to my palm before pulling my hand down.

“I don’t talk to anyone about the rebellion. We came home heroes and that seemed to be all people cared about. I do not want to be a burden to anyone.”

“Ned Stark, you stubborn brute, you’ll never be a burden to me. You can talk to me and you know that.”

“Do I, Andra? I sent raven after raven and never once saw anything returned.”

“What did you want me to do Ned? It was letter after letter about how you love me and how you wished you had never spoken to Jon Arryn about Catelyn Tully. You sent all these sweet nothings that would never come to fruition. I was bitter, Ned. Hells, at some point I started throwing objects at anyone who tried to hand me any kind of communication from the North. Never once did you write me about the rebellion and the things we saw and did. I would have responded.”

“You should go, Cassandra. I’ll see you at our next meeting,” Ned said his grey eyes turning to stone.

“You need to talk to someone about these things, Ned- might as well be the one that fought by your side,” I spat, pushing my way past him. “Enjoy your night, Lord Stark.”

Chapter Text

A few days later, I received word that Ned wanted to see me in the Hand’s office as soon as possible. I made my way through the castle, bumping into Sandor on my way.

“Hey, do you know if your brother is planning to participate in the tourney in a few weeks?”

“Aye, he probably will, Lady Cassandra. He loves any chance to hurt someone and get paid while doing it.”

“Drinking buddies?” I offered. Sandor grinned down at me.

“You always know how to keep a dog happy,” he said, continuing on his way, presumably to find Joffrey.

Whenever his brother was in town, he would be on edge and even more… Sandor. It got to the point once that Robert wanted him killed just for the “extra fucking ugly look on his face”.

When Robert had said that to me, I took Sandor that same evening and got him so shitfaced that he didn’t even remember his brother was around. He became much more pleasant the drunker he got, I found. I also found out that we got along very well. It never felt like a chore- in fact, I used it as a time to get away from my own problems. It became a tradition of ours almost every tourney, whenever Gregor was present.

When I finally made it to Ned’s meeting chamber, I saw Jory was posted outside. He gave me a soft smile as I walked up. Jory had become one of my favorite people on Ned’s staff. He appeared loyal, smart, and courageous from what I’ve heard others say. I had to admit that I was envious that Ned had someone like Jory to rely on. The Baratheon guards and staff were loyal to Robert and then to Renly. They would protect me and do whatever I ask, especially as the Lady of Storm’s End, but they would never put me before my brothers. I often found myself wishing I had someone that had the same unwavering loyalty for me as Jordy did for Ned.

“Good afternoon, Lady Baratheon. You can go right in; I know he won’t mind.”

“Thank you, Jory,” I said patting his shoulder as I passed. I opened the door and stepped inside, leaving it open just a tad behind me.

Ned was so lost in whatever he was looking at that he didn’t even notice me. I was in no hurry, so I took the time to study him. He was so out of place here in the South. Everything down to his hair style screamed that he was a Northern man. Yet here he was, in the Southern capital, doing his duty as the King’s Hand.

“You look tired, Lord Stark,” I spoke, finally bringing his attention to me. His eyes met mine and his perplexed gaze softened at the sight of me.

“Cassandra, thank you for coming on such short notice. Jory, close the door please.”

I glanced back as the movement of the door caught my eye. Once it was firmly shut, I turned my gaze back to Ned. He gestured to come around to where he was standing.

“I have something I need to discuss with you,” he spoke in a hushed tone. “But first I wanted to apologize for the other night. You were trying to be a good friend and I dismissed you like it meant nothing. I truly am sorry, Andra. You didn’t deserve that. I am thankful to have someone I know I can trust here in the capital.”

“Thank you, Ned. Now, what’s going on?”

“I spoke to Maester Pycelle after the small council meeting the other day. I was asking him about Jon Arryn’s death and he said Jon came to him the night before he died and asked for this book.”

I furrowed my brow, taking a look at the tome Ned saw gesturing to.

“Jon Arryn? Why are you asking about him?”

“The night of the feast in Winterfell, Catelyn received word from her sister that Arryn was poisoned by the Lannisters.” Ned’s voice was so low that I almost couldn’t hear the words.

My head whipped up to look at him.

“Ned, Lysa is…unwell. I would not take her word as truth.”

“I didn’t, at first. But when Cat brought me Tyrion’s blade-“

“Eddard Stark, listen to me,” I said seriously. I’ve only used Ned’s whole name a handful of times in our lives, so he knows that when I say it, I mean the words that follow. “Tyrion Lannister is no killer. I know him better than anyone else in the realms. He did not commit the crime your wife accuses him of. You claim that you trust me, so trust me on this matter.”

Ned paused, looking at me.

“Catelyn feels that-“

“Catelyn can feel all she wants, Ned. I know.”

“How, Andra? How could you know a Lannister so well?”

“Because he and I are the same. We think the same, we speak the same, we act the same. He is not foolish enough to equip an assassin with his own fucking dagger. Besides, how do you even know it’s Tyrion’s?”

“Baelish told Cat he lost it to him when the Knight of Flowers beat Jaime Lannister during one of Joffrey’s name day tourneys.”

“Look at me, Ned.” When Ned’s eyes once again met mine, I put a hand on the collar of his vest, grabbed the leather, and tugged slightly. “Is there any life in which you would actually believe that Tyrion Lannister bet against his brother?”

Ned’s gaze dropped. He sighed, bringing his hands up to rub his face.

“No, of course not.”

“Then it wasn’t him, Ned.” I turned around, leaning my arse against the desk. Ned leaned forward, placing both hands on the desk in front of him. I threw my hands up in a small surrender. “As for Jon Arryn, I can’t see why anyone would try to poison him. I wasn’t the biggest fan on the Warden of the East, but he’s always been well liked by others.”

“I think he was on to something,” Ned said. “Do you know of any children of Robert’s other than Cersei’s?”

I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I brought my fingers up and pinched the bridge of my nose. Someone was going to find out sooner or later, at least it was someone I could trust. I took a deep sighed before nodding.

“Of course, I do. The man fucks anything with tits, Ned. Any time another bastard pops up, I pay the mothers to disappear with Baratheon coin, not the Crown’s purse.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because he is my brother, Ned. He’s given me Storm’s End, the least I can do is take care of his children.”

“Take care of? You think getting rid of them is taking care of them?”

“I think that setting their mothers up with enough coin to start their life anew is the best way I can take care of them. There was one that I couldn’t get out of the city. His mother died and he never knew who his father was. I met him once on the streets. He looked just like Robert. When I did some digging, I knew he had to be a bastard nephew of mine.”

“The one at the armorers? Gendry?”

“Aye, that’s his name. You’ve met him?”

Ned nodded. “Jory and I went together.”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about Jory,” I said, taking the opportunity to turn the topic away from Robert’s bastards. Ned gave me a quizzical look. “Do you trust him? He seems like a good man.”

“He’s my best.”

“Perfect. I’m going to do everything I can to get him on my staff. I don’t have enough trustworthy men.”

I gave Ned a wink and his face broke out into a grin.

“You’re welcome to try. He would never leave the North for any amount of coin. Maybe if you promised him a kiss or two.”

“You think that’ll convince him?”

Ned moved his arms, grabbing my waist and pulling me so that I was trapped in between him and the desk. It was then that my heart threw all logic and what little care about propriety I had out the window. Having Ned hovering over me like this was enough to make me act like a fool. He was just tall enough that I had to look up at him, even if he was leaning down towards me.

“Cassandra, any man could be tempted by a kiss from you,” he said, holding me in place. “Even my most loyal.”

“And you, Lord Stark,” I asked, tilting my face towards him. “Are you any man?”

Ned’s gaze dropped to my lips. For a second, I thought he was going to give in. He started leaning down towards me, his movement so minute that I could have imagined it. I closed my eyes, feeling his nose brush against mine. I could feel my heartbeat begin to speed up, excitement rushing through my veins.

That all ended abruptly when there was a knock at the door and Jory pushed it open enough to stick his head in. Both of our heads whipped up to look at the man. However, Ned kept me firmly in place by my waist. The Northerner’s eyes widened in shock, but he was quick to clear his throat.

“Sorry, my lord,” Jory began, his eyes trying to look anywhere but at us. “I- uh- I received word that Lord Baelish would like to meet you for a walk around the grounds, Lord Stark.”

“Gods, that man has awful timing,” Ned grumbled, closing his eyes in frustration.

“That must be my sign to go,” I said, smiling back at Ned. “I’m sure I’ll see you soon, Lord Stark.”

“Not soon enough for my liking, I assure you,” Ned muttered, finally releasing me.

As I passed Jory, I heard Ned’s voice.

“I’m sure I don’t need to warn you about what would happen if you ever spoke a word of this?”

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to, Lord Stark. I walked in to find you and Lady Baratheon looking at the book on your desk.”

Yes, I would have to find someone like Jory for my own staff.

Chapter Text

As the weeks went by, preparations were made for the upcoming tourney celebrating the new Hand. Robert had insisted and Ned didn’t want to begin his new position with an argument with my stubborn brother. Once I heard of The Mountain’s arrival to King’s Landing, I began my nightly drinking routine with Sandor.

Tonight was particularly fun. Sandor and I sat in the dining hall, downing pint after pint. Food was brought out to us regularly; the more ale we drank, the more food we needed.

“Tell me about the most pain you’ve ever been in,” Sandor demanded, slamming another empty mug on the table. I nearly snorted at the memory.

“Alright, but you can’t judge me for it.”

Sandor grinned. “That’s the best way to start any story, Cass.”

“So it was during the rebellion- not one of the major battles at all. I was hacking away Targaryen men, one after the other, but I wasn’t originally planning on fighting that day. I had been riding towards Storm’s End with some of Robert’s banner men when we were ambushed. I suppose the plan was to kidnap me and use me as a negotiation token. So I had on a dress made by a new dressmaker my old Septa had wanted me to try. This particular dressmaker was known for using layers to make the dress look a little fuller. I opted for the dress that day as I thought my Septa would like to see me actually look like the only Baratheon daughter she tried so hard to raise. So there I am fighting, cutting down men left and right, when I fucking trip and land straight onto a shredded horse corpse. My face touched an intestine, I’m not even lying. I get up, blood everywhere and clouding my vision and my dumbass decides to cut the dress so I had more freedom to move. So I go to cut my dress shorter, not even being able to see, and I fucking slice my leg open from thigh to knee. It hurt so damn much, Sandor! I thought I was going to lose it for sure. Thankfully one of the men present was a medic and patched it up really well. I told Robert later that someone had done it during the battle.”

Sandor was howling with laughter as I told my tale. I joined him as soon as I was finished, not being able to hide my embarrassment still.

“I can’t believe that,” Sandor barked out. “You’re lying! There’s no way someone is dumb enough to slice open their own leg.”

I stood up and placed my foot on the table. Even in my drunken stupor, I made sure my most intimate parts were covered as I pulled up my dress skirt. Sandor’s eyes widened as he saw the scar.

“Damn, Cass, that healed nicely,” he complimented.

“Right? I thought I was going to be One-Legged Cass the rest of my life. Never got the medic’s name, but I definitely owe him one.”

“Whoa, what’s happening here?”

I turned to see Renly walking up, Ser Loras Tyrell at his side.

“Brother! I was just showing Sandor my scar from when that soldier pinned me down and carved me with his dagger.”

Sandor’s laughter grew even louder. I grabbed a bread roll and threw it at him. Renly and Loras laughed as they moved around the table to see the scar for themselves.

“My lady,” Loras exclaimed, “that’s huge!”

“Yeah, the fucker sure knew what he was doing,” Sandor managed to get out between laughs. That earned him another bread roll.

“Join us, brother,” I said. “We’re making Sandor forget all about you-know-who.”

Renly smiled and motioned for someone to bring him two cups of wine. He set across from me.

“Come on, Knight of Flowers. You too,” Sandor invited.

“You don’t need to tell me twice,” Loras said, plopping down next to Renly.

So we spent the next half hour, filling our bellies and drinking more. Renly and Loras caught up to our level in no time. My baby brother could never hold his ale like any of us older siblings. I always said it’s because Mother babied him. We swapped tales of battles and family, not a single one of us wanting to bring up past (or current) lovers.

Once I started dozing off, I knew I had to get to my bed. I reached across the table and grabbed Renly’s hand.

“I better get back to our room,” I said. Sandor was already sleeping face first on the table. I cringed inwardly. His back was going to be killing him tomorrow.

“Allow me to help,” Loras offered, grabbing my arm and swinging it around his shoulders. He helped me stay upright as we walked through the castle.

By the time we got to our adjoining chambers, I could barely keep my head up. Renly opened the door and showed Loras where to lay me down.

“Did you have a good night, Sister?”

“Yes,” I said with a sleepy sigh. “Would be better if I had my love here with me.”

Renly stroked my hair out of my face, holding his hand there for just a second.

“I hope you know, Andra, how thankful I am for you.”

I blinked my eyes open to see Renly’s honest eyes looking at me. He was kneeling on the side of the bed, his arm still outstretched and petting my hair.

“I know you sacrificed a lot so that I could be the Lord of Storm’s End and be able to love who I want to love. I can never thank you enough.”

“You just did,” I whispered in response. “Now leave, brother. Go show the Knight of Flowers how fiercely a Baratheon loves.”

Renly’s smile widened. He placed a kiss to my brow before pulling his hand away from my hair and disappearing out of my vision.

It took all of half a second for the world to turn to black.

Chapter Text

Lady Cassandra Baratheon,

I have tried started this letter at least five times now. I’ve never had the honor of writing to a high born lord or lady before. Pardon any mistakes I may have made.

It is so cold all the time here. I had thought living in Winterfell that I knew what the cold was, but it could have never prepared me for this. I’m fine enough near a fire, but if I walk away for even a second it feels like my nose will freeze and fall off.

It isn’t what I expected, being here in the watch. I had thought my life as a bastard was awful, but seeing what I’ve seen here, I realized my father truly did a lot for me. He gave me a good life and good training. A lot of my brothers here held a sword for the first time ever when they arrived at the Night’s Watch.

They’re nice enough, my brothers. They call me ‘Lord Snow’ since I grew up in a castle. I met this new boy, Samwell Tarly. He’s a big lad with almost no athletic ability or knowledge. I wanted nothing to do with him, since I knew he would bring me nothing but trouble. I remembered the kindness you showed me and corrected myself. I made the other recruits leave him alone. I’m going to protect him; I’ve done a good job so far. I think so far that has been a good accomplishment of mine.

We haven’t sworn our oaths yet, but you’ll be the first to know once I do.

-Jon Snow

On the first day of the tourney, I was with Ned once more. We hadn’t addressed the last time we were in his meeting chamber, which I was beginning to see a pattern developing. Soft touches, unresolved tension, and loving glances had seemed to become our new language. We were hunched over the damn book that Jon Arryn was interested in.

“I’m planning to speak to his old squire later,” Ned explained. “He’s jousting today. Somehow the boy went from squire to a Knight right after Jon Arryn’s death.”

I nodded.

“If Arryn did have any reason for looking at this book, he would have never confided in me, Ned. The man nearly hated me.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not! He truly did not like me. Ask anyone on the small council!”

Ned just shook his head and kept reading the tome. I sighed, my head beginning to hurt from staring at the same pages all morning. I took a step back, needing some space. Ned noticed the change.

“What’s wrong, Andra? Are you okay?”

“I just feel like we’re on a fool’s errand, Ned,” I said honestly. “We don’t even know what we’re looking for. How will we know if we find it?”

“I think I’ll know.”

“I believe you, but I think I need a break. My eyes are beginning to hurt,” I said, pressing my thumb and forefinger into the inner corners of eyes. I sat down in one of the empty chairs. Ned came from around his desk and knelt down in front of me. He cupped his hand around my chin and lifted my head slightly.

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten? I can send Jory to find you something to eat.”

I laughed softly.

“I’m fine, Ned. Honest! It’s just a headache. It should be cleared up after I rest my eyes. Stop worrying about me.”

“All I do is worry about you, Andra,” he revealed with a small laugh. “I worry if you’re okay, if you’ve enjoyed your day, if someone made you smile the way you seem to make everyone around you do so. I worry if you’re nearby and if you’re not, I worry about where you are. I worry if the last time I saw you would be the last time I ever see you.

“I’ll always worry about you, Andra. I just never want to be the reason you’re ever hurt. Not again. So if this is too much to bear right now, then let us be done for the day. We can walk down to the tourney together.”

His words brought a genuine smile that started with my lips, but was sure to show in my eyes.

“Keep talking like that, Lord Stark, and I’ll fall even more in love with you.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but there was a knock at the door. Jory must have learned his lesson about pushing the door open before getting a response.

“The queen is here to see you, Lord Stark.”

I raised my eyebrows. Cersei was here to speak to Ned? Ned went to open the door himself, moving to allow Cersei inside.

“My queen,” he said politely with a bow of his head.

“Sister,” I said, knowing Cersei hated it when I did. “I’ll let you guys have the room.”

I stood up and walked outside, posting myself next to Jory. We were quiet and still, trying to hear what Cersei was saying. Her and Ned both spoke in low tones, so Jory and I did not have much to go on. When Cersei finally exited and walked past us, disappearing around the corner, Jory and I exchanged a brief glance before we both rushed into the room.

“What was that?”

Ned looked confused.

“I’m not sure? She said I was a soldier, not a leader. I don’t think she wanted me to be the Hand.”

“Oh, of course not. She’s been trying to talk Robert into naming Jaime since Jon’s death.”

“Should we be worried, my lord? I can send for more guards from Winterfell.”

“No, it won’t be necessary. Although, I did imply she was my enemy.”

“I love you, Ned, but you can be an idiot sometimes. Cersei is not someone to mess with!”

Ned just squared his shoulders.

“I have never been scared of Tywin Lannister. I will not be scared of him or his daughter now.”

I sighed. He was such a stubborn mule at times. Though, standing by his beliefs was one of the things I respected most about him.

The second day of the tourney, I sat next to Renly. We watched as the day went on. It finally came down to The Mountain against Sir Loras. Petyr placed a bet on The Mountain, which Renly hurriedly matched. I wasn’t upset by any means,  if he had waited a split second I would have made the bet myself.

I saw Ned and Sansa sitting together a few benches down from us. Based on what Ned has confided in me, Sansa had yet to truly speak to him since the night at the inn, when he was ordered to kill Lady. Loras came riding up after bowing to Robert and presented Sansa with a rose. His eyes were stuck on Renly though. I looked to my brother. He might have thought he was being subtle, but I could see the admiration shining in his eyes. It brought a smile to my face to see him happy.

I returned my gaze to Ned, as I always seemed to do. Sansa must have been worried about something, because she clung onto Ned’s arm. It didn’t take me long to put together why. I squeezed Renly’s arm and made my way to the seat in front of the Starks. I looked back to Sansa.

“You’re in for a treat, little lady, Ser Loras is an excellent rider.”

Sansa met my gaze for just a second before looking to her father.

“She’s right. Ser Loras rides well. He’ll be alright.”

We watched as Loras and Gregor charged at each other. The Mountain’s horse was clearly being affected by something because he was acting strangely. Much to mine and Sansa’s relief, Loras came out victorious. It dawned on me that Loras had mentioned his horse was in heat the night we all drank together.

Clever.

The celebration turned ugly when Gregor called for his sword and sliced his horses head off. Sansa behind me screamed and I stood to my feet as Gregor started charging Loras. Ned grabbed my arm, probably to stop me from trying to get involved. To be fair, I probably would have had it not been for him stopping me.

Sandor was quick to stop his brother’s attack, saving Loras’ life in the process. The two fought for a little while before Robert shouted it was enough. Sandor dropped to his knees immediately, narrowly missing Gregor’s attack.

I sat back down, sighing as the men came rushing to repair the fence posts the Gregor damaged in his fall. Lora’s held Sandor’s arm up in a gesture of good faith, but I could see how uncomfortable The Hound was standing there surrounded by cheering. I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted as loudly as I could.”

“Eat shit, Clegane!”

Sandor’s eyes found mine and he broke out into a grin.

Chapter Text

“Cassandra,” a soft tone pierced through the darkness. “Cassandra, wake up.”

I tried to will the voice to go away. It was so peaceful in my dreams; I did not want to wake. I felt myself returning to consciousness too quickly for my liking.

I opened my eyes to see Renly standing above me.

“Let me sleep,” I said, turning and cuddling into my pillow.

“Sister, come on. We have small council meeting,” Renly said, shaking my shoulder a little more.

I groaned.

“I thought if I fought in Robert’s rebellion I wouldn’t have to do shit once he wore the crown,” I complained. Renly laughed.

“C’mon, you gotta get up. I think the Hand will be irritated if we’re late,” he told me before leaving the room. “He’s had an awful temper recently.”

I sighed, knowing he was right. If we weren’t there in time, Ned would be pissed. Then everyone would have to deal with his anger. It resembled much like what the small council saw during the first meeting with Ned as hand.

I grabbed a dress from my trunk and went to get ready for the day. Renly had already ordered a hot bath for me. I submerged myself completely, save for my head, and allowed myself a moment to relax.

Perks of “marrying” my brother? He was required to keep up appearances and spoil me endlessly.

I let out a content sigh, happy to have this moment to myself. The past few days had been non-stop discussions and meetings. We were all happy to get Ned caught up, but the man wanted to know every little detail about the seven kingdoms. Since the tourney ended, he’d wanted to know every purchase The Crown had made. He even wanted to know everyone who lived in the castle and where the food came from to sustain the numbers. He wanted to see how much ale and wine we went through. He wanted to know which kingdom payed the most taxes and which contribution the least to the Crown. Ned wanted to see the big picture- he wanted to know and understand everything.

Which, of course, I respected him immensely for. Jon Arryn was a great man, but rather shit when it came to running the kingdom. He never fought against Robert’s ridiculous wants and I often found myself having to be the sense of reason, which only led to both men dismissing me. It had been refreshing to have Ned on top of everything and listening to my counsel. Because of his dedication, however, he has been a hot-tempered Stark through and through, putting even my own Baratheon fury to shame.

I must have let myself get too lost in thought because before I knew it, my door was thrown open. The man that’s always on my mind was standing there, irritation apparent from his facial features. He took a few steps in, slamming the heavy door behind him.

“Ned!” I yelped, covering myself as much as I could, for once thankful for the excess of petals floating on top of the water.

“I called a small council meeting, which Renly assured me he told you about, and you decide you’re too high and mighty to show up? I waited twenty minutes for you to-“

Ned’s eyes widened when he walked past the privacy screen and he saw the position I was in. He immediately turned his back to me.

“My apologies, Cassandra.”

“First and foremost, Ned, you don’t get to barge into my room and begin berating me,” I said, standing. I grabbed a drying cloth from the stack that castle staff prepared for me. I wrapped myself in the cloth, making sure I was fully covered. “Secondly, I am only an advisor to you and the King. These small council meetings can take place without me.”

I grabbed Ned’s shoulder, pulling so that he turned to face me. He tried closing his eyes, but he must have seen a peek of my covering, because he opened them soon after.

“What is going on with you,” I asked, practically pleading, “Why has there been so much animosity and frustration recently? You have been hot-headed and angry, and I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells! Everyone who speaks to you does!”

There was a brief moment before Ned sighed, irritation leaving his stance.

“I apologize,” he said, his shoulders dropping. “I suppose I’m not adjusting well to the move.”

“That can’t be it, Ned. It’s been too long to use that excuse anymore. What is on your mind? Let me help.”

He avoided my gaze, instead settling his eyes on the window. I thought he would shut me out again, like he did the night we watched Arya and Syrio spar. Ned surprised me, however, as he opened his mouth to say more.

“I feel as though I’m in eternal turmoil,” Ned confessed. “The other day when Cersei came to speak to me, she said I was a soldier, only ever meant to take orders. I’ve been stuck on that same though ever since. All my life I have been told what to do and all my life I have followed every order I’ve ever been given. Brandon bossed me around all my life and I did what he said because I knew I’d amount to nothing more than a knight, at best. He was the eldest, the one that would take my father’s place. Benjen and I were just meant to be soldiers.

“When he died, I was told to be the Lord of Winterfell, so I became that. Jon Arryn told me to marry Catelyn Tully, so I did. I was told to sire an heir, so along came Robb. Your brother told me to fight his war with him and I followed him without argument. I was told to bring home a boy and raise him as my own , so I did. I was told that because I had a bastard, I needed another boy just in case anything happened to my first, so that Jon would never be considered next in the succession. Three children later and I had that second boy-I did my duty. Time and time again, I have done what someone told me to do- what honor dictated I do. All my life I have been following commands.

“Ever since Cersei came to speak with me the first day of the tourney, I have been thinking about all the orders I’ve taken and fulfilled. I realized I have never once done anything for myself. Not once in all my thirty-five years. I have been grappling with that revelation for weeks now. I know what I should do, but since that talk with the queen, I constantly finding myself on the verge of acting on what I want. I have reached a crossroads where I can either be the good little soldier my father raised or became my own man and live life the way I want to. Make no mistake, Casandra, I am leaning over the edge of taking what I want and caring not about the consequences.”

“Then do or take what you want and allow this frustration to be past us! I am tired-“

Ned’s lips were on mine in an instant, cutting off my words. His hands grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. Caught off guard and unable to step back from him, I bent backwards, giving us a few centimeters apart. Ned stopped, looking at me with his stormy grey eyes, a few stray pieces of his hair dropping onto my face. It took a split second for my brain to register what was happening. When I did realize it, I grabbed his face, bringing us together once more.

It felt as though floodgates had opened. Now that we had each other in our arms, neither of us planned to let go. The kisses were quick and heated, and we held onto each other as though we needed the other for breath. My brain could not form any thought other than Ned. His name played over and over like a mantra in my mind

As our mouths opened and our tongues dance, Ned’s hands slipped down to my thighs. He lifted me off my feet and my legs found their place wrapped around his waist, the drying cloth riding up to my thighs. My hands roamed upwards, my fingers catching locks of his soft hair and wrapping the strands around them. As he lifted me up, our positions swapped so that I was looking down now, kissing him with all the pent up passion I had in my body. I felt like my body was being repeatedly shocked with lightning bolts of pleasure. Each kiss would bring a wave of heat throughout my body. Ned carried me to the mattress, climbing up onto his knees, all the while keeping me hoisted in the air. I pulled slightly, pulling Ned’s lips away from mine.

“I have always loved you, Ned,” I panted out before recapturing his lips.

“Gods, Cassandra, you have my heart,” he let out between kisses. As heartwarming as those words were, his next breathy sentence made my mind go numb for a second. “Fuck, you’re just as delicious as I remember.”

“We need to go,” I replied with a giggle as his lips began to trail to my neck. “I don’t want anyone else to come and find us.”

Ned just bit down in response, making me flinch into him in surprise.  He kept kissing down towards where the fabric lay on my chest, just over the cusp of my breasts. Not willing to chance it any longer, I tugged firmly on Ned’s hair, pulling his eager lips away from me.

“Ned, we have to go,” I breathed out, leaning forwards to bite at Ned’s bottom lip. He took a few deep breaths, his eyes never leaving mine. He nodded slowly in a way that told me he was trying to convince himself to let go of me.

Taking the lead, we removed ourselves from each other. I grabbed the towel to make sure I was still covered, though Ned’s thoughts were clear on his face as I backed up to my headboard, his darkened eyes watching my every move.

He wants more.

“We’ll discuss this later. I’ll see you down there, Lord Stark.”

Ned got off the bed and walked around to a point where he could lean over and reach me, placing the softest of kisses on my lips.

“You are the one thing- the one person- I have ever wanted in my life,” he whispered as he pulled away. “I don’t know what our future holds, but I know that I will love you until my last breath.”

His words made my heart skip a beat.

Once the door closed behind him, I scrambled to get dressed. I tried my best not to think about what had just occurred, because if I did, I knew I would never leave this room. I would stay here and bask in the joy of the memory until someone came to get me.

I sped through the halls, making it to the small council chamber in record time. I hurried over to my spot next to Renly.

“Sorry, gentlemen. I was feeling a little under the weather this morning. Shall we begin?”

Chapter Text

I hadn’t had the chance to speak to Ned until the next afternoon. Well, ‘speak’ might not be the right word to use. I was sitting on top of his desk, legs apart, with Ned standing in between them. He was holding my face in his hands, kissing me slowly this time. I had a loose grip on the leather of his vest, enjoying every second.

That was until my brain started thinking again. I pushed lightly, signaling for him to stop. He did immediately at shift in tone.

”What is it, Andra? Are you okay?”

”What are we doing, Ned? Ever since you came to King’s Landing, it’s as though we’re back to our old selves, before you married Catelyn. I think it’s safe to say neither of us can keep our hands off the other, especially given yesterday’s events. Where do we go from here? Do I just hold on to your every word and wait for you to leave your wife when it will never happen? You said you wanted to do something that was your choice, but I’m not okay just being your mistress. If I’m going to have you, I want all of you.”

Ned sighed and pressed a quick kiss to my forehead. He leaned his head down to fall onto my shoulder. His hands moved to hold me by my waist.

”I plan to talk to Catelyn. I will tell her all of my feelings and my desires…for you. I’ll be a villain in her eyes, I’m sure, but maybe we can come to some form of agreement. She has always said that Brandon was the taller and more attractive one of us. If she can be so blatant about that, maybe she is curious about other men. Perhaps she’ll want a chance to pursue those curiosities.”

”You might be shorter, but definitely the most attractive Stark brother. What of our marital statuses? My marriage would be easy to annul; yours will be more difficult. Catelyn must be willing, otherwise this will end between us. I refuse to be treated like some whore, Ned. I will be respected like the highborn lady I am. Do I not deserve that?”

“You, Cassandra Baratheon, deserve everything and more. If I could give you the world, I would.”

”I don’t want the world, Ned. I just want you.”

At those words, Ned attacked me with an onslaught of kisses, this time quick and heated. We pulled apart only moments after we began when there was a knock on the door. Ned pulled away from me with an irritated groan. He took a second to tuck stray pieces of hair behind his ear.

“As happy as the sight of you right now makes me, I think it’s best if you got down before they come in.”

I pulled him towards me once more, giving him a final kiss before moving to sit in one of the empty seats. I plopped down as Ned went to open the door. A Brother of the Night’s Watch walked in. I leaned forward in my seat, resting my elbows on my knees.

I pray Jon and Benjen are safe.

The man introduced himself as Yoren. He explained that he had come to ask the council if he could have men to take back to join the Watch. Ned assured him that the Crown would find men for him. Yoren seemed to have something else to say, so Ned prompted him for more.

“Benjen’s my brother same as yours. I wanted to tell you myself before the whole city knows by morning. It’s about your wife…”

I watched the concern spread across Ned’s face. I closed my eyes, feeling the dread in my gut. Someone bad had truly happened.

“She’s taken the imp.”

“No!” I shouted, standing to my feet.

Ned dismissed Yoren and sat down, placing his hands over his face.

“Shit,” he exclaimed finally, pounding his fist on his desk.

“Ned, she needs to release him as soon as possible.”

“I‘ll send a raven, but I’m not sure what good it will do. It’s clear that she believes she’s doing the right thing.”

“She’s going to start a fucking war,” I warned. “If the North and the West are fighting, Robert might lose control of the kingdoms. You need to put an end to this quickly.”

“I’ll do what I can, Andra. Cat’s never done something like this- she normally keeps herself out of conflicts.”

“I don’t care. As the royal advisor, I am advising that you get Tyrion released, and probably send Tywin a gift as apology. Maybe that Valaryian steel dagger?”

Ned’s stormy grey eyes met mine. I could tell exactly what he was thinking: ‘fuck Tywin Lannister’.

“No, don’t even start that, you stubborn old fool,” I chided. “I don’t care if you don’t like the man, this needs to be remedied immediately. I know you want to protect her, Ned. But if you say you approved this, you will forever be a target of the Lannisters.”

Ned finally nodded, knowing I was right. I went to stand behind him, placing my hands on his broad shoulders and massaging as best as I could over his layers.

“Fix this and it won’t be as bad,” I promised, leaning down to gently kiss the back of his neck. Ned leaned his head against mine. He let out a deep sigh.

“I need to tell Robert, don’t I?”

“Immediately,” I confirmed. “Before Cersei hears and gets into his head. I’ll go with you if you’d like.”

Ned nodded, placing a small peck to my cheek. I straightened my back and made my way towards the open door. Jory had a smug, knowing smile on his face as we passed. He fell into line a few behind us.

“Lord Stark! Lady Baratheon! The small council has gathered.”

“I need to speak to King Robert,” Ned said firmly.

“King Robert is at the small council meeting, my lord.”

Did he know that quickly?

“Is it about my wife?”

The young man looked confused. “No?”

I started to walk towards the small council chamber. Ned followed behind me, and dutiful Jory behind him. When we finally made it to our destination, Robert was sitting in his chair. One that had been empty for so many meetings during these past 17 years.

“The damned Targaryen bitch is pregnant,” Robert shouted.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. This was not going to be a fun meeting. I stood behind Ned as him and Robert argued. When the council began talking of killing the child, I spoke up.

“Danaerys Targaryen is not even next in line for the throne in their eyes,” I defended. “She’s not a threat to us, Robert.”

“Cassandra, I did not ask for your counsel,” Robert spat.

“You did though, Robert! When you took the crown and asked me to be an advisor to you and the Hand, you asked for my counsel. So hear it, Your Grace, and heed it.”

Robert waved me off, just as he and Jon Arryn always would. Ned pointed towards me.

“She is right, Robert. I will have no part in this scheme.”

“You’re the Hand of the King! You’ll do as I command or I will find a Hand that will!”

The room grew silent as the two friends stared each other down. Ned reached his hand up, took off the pin that marked him as Hand of the King, and tossed it on the table before Robert.

“Good luck to him. I thought you were a better man.”

Ned turned to walk out of the room. I gave one look at my brother, who was still shouting at the retreating Stark.

“Robert, you damned fool,” I yelled. “Why drag Ned Stark all the way up here just to ignore his counsel? Why make me attend all these fucking meetings when you can’t even be bothered to show up? Is your kingdom really so fragile that the threat of a Targaryen across the water makes you tremble in your boots?”

“You dare call me, your king, a fool?!”

“You are a fool, and you’ve surrounded yourself with fools who think they know best,” I shouted, gesturing to the council members.

“You’ll be wise and shut your mouth, Cassandra,” Robert warned.

“No, not this time, brother. If there was ever a moment you should listen to me, it is this one. Appointing Ned Stark as Hand was the one good decision you’ve made during your seventeen years on the throne.”

“Follow him then, you lovesick fool! Follow him to the North and wait around like a loyal bitch as he fucks his wife and forgets about you once more.”

The weight of his words made me take a step back. Fury burned through my veins in that moment, but I didn’t close my eyes this time. I did not take a breath. Instead, I turned to walk away. When I got to the door, I looked back over my shoulder.

“At least the man I love breathes, Brother. You made yourself miserable over a rotting corpse. I will be returning to my home in Storm’s End immediately. This is a shit era of your reign, Robert. I want no part of it.”

I walked out of the room, tears stinging my eyes. My brother was still shouting insults at me, much in the same manner he did to Ned. Robert and I were partners on almost every front and because of our close relationship we truly knew how to drive a knife into each other’s hearts.

Chapter Text

I went straight to my chambers and packed a bag. I’d have Renly send the rest of my things. I needed to get away from Robert before our argument continued and became worse. I changed into britches and a light tunic instead of a dress. If I was going on my own, I wanted to call little attention to myself. I grabbed my bow and quiver as well as a few daggers of various sizes.

I tried not to think of Ned. It would be our luck that any relationship we hoped to have ended before we even began. I planned write to him, but with us being so far apart I knew there was no point. He’d return to being Lord of Winterfell and I would go back to being the unsung Lady of Storm’s End. I continue to do all the work while Renly received all the thanks.

I went to the stables and retrieved Snowfall. I saddled her myself and threw my leg over her back, settling into place. I started leading Snowfall to the gate when I noticed a group of Lannister men, led by Jaime himself, riding into the city.

He knows about Tyrion. He’s going after Ned.

I kicked Snowfall into gear, following the Lannisters. I got stuck behind some citizens when trying to go down a densely populated street. I finally made my way past everyone and was able to catch up. When I saw the situation ahead, I quickly leapt off Snowfall. I trusted that she would not go far. I made it just as the Lannister soldiers started attacking Ned’s men.

I ran up as Jory and Jaime began fighting. I grabbed my bow and slung it around Jaime’s neck and dropped my weight, pulling the Lannister back just as he was about to stab a knife through Jory’s eye. When Jaime tried to turn on me, I could see his conflicting thoughts on his face.

How much trouble would he be in if he touched the King’s sister?

Taking advantage of his distraction, I kicked him in his groin and scrambled to my feet. I found my bow which Jaime had thrown from him once we fell. Jory grabbed me, pulling me towards him. He swung his sword at another Lannister guard, holding me in place with his arm across the stretch of my back like a Knight would in the stories Septa’s tell little girls.

I saw over Jory’s shoulder that there was another man quickly approaching us. I grabbed onto Jory’s shoulders, holding firmly as I timed it just right. Right as the man was about to strike, I swung my lower body behind Jory and kicked the attacker square in the chest with both feet. The man went tumbling. Jory held me tight, helping me find my balance once more.

“Enough,” Ned shouted. “Let’s end this like men, Ser Jaime. You and I.”

Jory and I hobbled to a place behind Ned, away from the Lannister guards. I knew that they wouldn’t touch me, but the same could not be said for Jory. I kept myself in front of him as Jaime and Ned attacked one another.

Watching Ned now, I felt my heart skip a beat. He may have gotten older, but he still fought well. He kept up with Jaime who was a few years younger than him. I watched as they each blocked blow after blow. My pride for Ned quickly turned into horror as a Lannister man came behind him and pierced his leg with a spear.

“Ned,” I yelled out, sprinting towards him.

“I want my brother,” Jaime spat before getting on his horse and taking off.

I fell to my knees before Ned, and grabbed his face. He was losing consciousness.

“You’re going to be alright, Ned. I’ve got you.”

Jory came up next to me and helped Ned to his feet. We both threw an arm around our shoulder and held him steady. I watched as Ned’s eyes closed and his body went limp.

“I don’t want to remove the spear without a Maester present,” I said. “We’re just going to have to keep people away from it.”

“Where should we take him?”

“The Keep. Ned may no longer be the Hand, but Robert won’t turn him away, especially like this. He can be cruel but he often calms down within minutes. Once we’re there, I’ll need you to watch over Sansa and Arya. They love and trust you, not me. I’ll be the one to stay with Ned.”

“I know that it is not my place, my lady, but I believe you make my lord truly happy. I’d never want to speak ill of Lady Stark, but the two always seemed cold and distant. There was no love shared between them, not like I’ve seen between the two of you. It’s as though they were just doing what they had to and neither wanted to. My lord hates the capital, but I think you’ve made it worth it for him to be here. I give you my thanks for looking out for my lord’s best interest. He doesn’t have many people that put him before themselves.”

I smiled sadly. It was then I remembered Snowfall should be nearby. I stopped walking, which made Jory stop in turn. I used the hand that was not supporting Ned and blew a loud whistle. Snowfall came running from behind us. Jory helped me gently sling Ned over her back.

“Up you go, my lady.”

“No, I don’t want you out here on your own. We’ll walk together,” I said, grabbing Snowfall’s reins and heading towards the Keep. “I don’t trust anyone in this city.”

We made it to the castle in no time, crowds of people parting to let us pass. Once there, I went to see Robert. Along the way, I instructed for someone to find Ned a room and a Maester.

When I finally made it to my brother’s door, Ser Barristan smiled timidly my way.

“Cersei just left not too long ago,” he said. “He won’t be in the best of moods.”

“Thank you, Ser Barristan, but I need to see him.”

He knocked on the door loudly.

“Lady Cassandra Baratheon to see you, Your Grace.”

“Let her in,” I heard my brother call. Ser Barristan opened the door and allowed me to enter. I closed the door behind me. I was one of the few people allowed alone in a room with the King of Westeros.

I sat across from my brother who just stared at me while leaning back in his seat. Something on me must have caught his eye because his brow furrowed.

“Are you bleeding?”

I looked down at my tunic and cursed. I must have gotten some on me when Jory and I put Ned on Snowfall’s back.

“No, it must be Ned’s blood.”

Robert sat up straighter.

“Ned? What’s happened to Ned?”

“Jaime Lannister attacked him in the street.”

Robert made a rolling motion with his hand, prompting me to continue.

“Catelyn Stark took Tyrion to pay for a crime I don’t believe he committed. I’m sure Ned will try to defend his wife, but he didn’t order the capture of Tyrion. I was there when he found out the news.”

“That damned woman is going to start a war,” Robert grumbled, putting his head in his hands. “Where’s Ned now?”

“In a room with a Maester. I’m going to go sit with him when we’re done here. Robert, I think all three of us let our tempers get out of hand earlier.”

“I agree. I’ll give Ned his damn pin back and I expect you to be by his side just like today. I know I argue and I dismiss you, but you two were always there to point me in the right direction during the rebellion. I need to stop being so hard-headed. You’re my little sister, Andra. The only sibling I’ve ever loved. I need to treat you better than I did today. I said a horrible thing to you that should have never been said. You didn’t deserve that treatment.”

“I think this might be the closest thing I’ve ever gotten to an apology from you.”

Robert grinned at me.

“And you’ll never get anything more.”

I laughed lightly and stood up. “I should to go be with Ned.”

“Go. I’ll be there shortly.”

Chapter Text

I hurried from Robert’s chambers to find Maester Pycelle. He showed me to Ned’s room. They had already removed the spear and wrapped his leg. I stuck my head into the hall and told one of Ned’s men to find Jory and the girls and bring them to the room.

I sat next to him and grabbed a cloth and basin of water. I soaked the cloth, wrung it out, and wiped the sweat off of his face. He’d be fighting a fever soon; the starting signs were already showing. I soaked the cloth again and laid it on Ned’s forehead after squeezing the excess water out.

There was a knock and Ned’s daughters came in, Jory right behind them. The girls began crying the second they saw their father. Arya turned to hug Jory and Sansa covered her face.

“Is he going to be okay, Jory?”

“Of course, little ladies! Your lord father is a tough man.”

I smiled.

“Don’t worry girls. Your father once took a spear through his shoulder and lived to tell the tale,” I reassured them. “It takes more than a small poke to kill a Northern Man.”

The girls must have felt slightly more at ease, because they approached the bed. I moved myself and the chair out of the way so that they could stand where I had been sitting. Arya grabbed her father’s hand while Sansa stroked his hair.

“He looks so weak,” Sansa stated in the emotionless tone she sometimes used.

“He will for a time. He’ll have a fever and once he makes it past that, he will be up and walking around in no time.”

“And if he doesn’t make it past the fever?”

“He will.”

“If he doesn’t,” Sansa repeated louder. I cast a glance at Jory who just sighed. I copied his action.

“If he isn’t strong enough to fight the fever, he will die. I assure you girls, your father will make it through.”

“How can you be so sure,” Arya questioned.

“I just have a feeling,” I replied honestly.

Hours passed as I sat there, waiting for any signs of improvements. The Maesters, Robert, Renly, and even Jory tried to get me to leave Ned’s side and go to bed, but I refused to listen. Instead, I sat by him, watching his breaths, and wiping the sweat from his brow as he fought off the fever.  At this late hour the room was dark, but my eyes had adjusted so I could see his silhouette. I swiped a few stray tears away from my eyes.

“Ned,” I spoke softly, hoping he could hear me, wherever he was. “I need you to come back to me, my love. Please. I don’t want to do this without you.”

It was around midday the following day when I heard Ned begin stirring. I shook off my daze and leaned forward. I grabbed his hand in both of my own. Cersei and Robert were both in the room with me.

“Ned,” I whispered, moving some hair out of his face. “I’m right here, Ned. Your girls are okay.”

He smiled at me, taking his hand and cupping my cheek. His attention drifted to my brother and his wife behind me. Ned tried to sit up, but I quickly pushed him back down.

“I’d rise, Your Grace, but-“

Cersei quickly started throwing accusations regarding Tyrion, but I tuned her out. Instead, I focused on Ned. I grabbed a wet cloth again and dabbed his forehead. Understandably, he looked tired. Some color had returned to his face, which made me feel better. His breathing was till labored, which I made a note to bring up to Maester Pycelle if it did not improve soon.

My attention was brought back to the present when Robert slapped Cersei across the face. I jumped at the sound. I was no fan of Cersei, but in that moment, I wanted to strangle my brother.

“I shall wear this like a badge of honor,” she said, looking at him with hatred in her eyes.

“You’ll wear it in silence,” Robert commanded, “or I’ll honor you again.”

Robert sighed, pouring himself a glass of wine. He sat on the bench at the foot of bed.

“I should not have done hit,” he muttered. “That was not… that was not kingly.”

“No, it was not,” I confirmed. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go speak to Jory. I’ll be right back, Ned.”

I squeezed his hand as though I was sealing a promise. I stepped out of the room, where loyal Jory was standing. I shut the door behind me. Jory looked at me with questioning eyes.

“He’s awake,” I confirmed for him. Jory’s face lit up in a mixture of relief and excitement. “Can you go get the girls? I’m sure they’ll both want to see him right away.”

“Of course, my lady.”

I walked back into the room, pushing past my brother and returning to my seat next to Ned. I grabbed his hand again. Robert looked like he was preparing to go.

“Put the badge on. And if you ever take it off again and I swear to the Mother I’ll pin the damned to Jaime Lannister.”

I smiled as I watched Robert leave. It would be a cold day in the hells before I let him make that mistake. Ned picked up the badge of the Hand and stared at it for a while. Ned didn’t want this, I knew that as sure as I knew my name. He would do it though. For Robert.

“You won’t be joining your brother for the hunt this time?”

“No,” I told Ned, “I thought you might need me more. I think he’s dragging Renly in an attempt to get him to ‘man up’.”

Ned let out a low chuckle. He squeezed his hand around mine.

“Robert said you haven’t left my side.”

“You’ve only been out for a day,” I muttered. “It’s not as though I made a huge sacrifice.”

“And if I had slept for a month?”

“I would have stayed,” I admitted.

Ned said nothing but cupped my cheek once more. He lightly ran the pad of his thumb across my skin. I easily lost myself staring into his foggy grey eyes. Needing to pull myself out of the trance before he had visitors, I spoke again.

“Your girls have been worried. They should be here soon; I asked Jory to fetch them.”

Ned smiled warmly at the thought of his daughters.

“Arya practically worships Syrio. Thank you, Andra, for the recommendation. Sansa has been distant still. She always favored Cat and I believe being apart from her has been difficult.”

“Arya reminds me so much of Lyanna,” I mused. Ned nodded in agreement.

“She has a little of her mother in her, but no one can deny that she is a Stark.”

It was then that the door opened up to show the Stark girls. They both ran to their father, giant smiles on their faces. I dropped Ned’s hand and stood up to move out of the way.

“Father!”

“Ah, my girls! Come here, tell me all that I’ve missed.”

A small smile graced my lips as I moved to stand next to Jory. We watched as the girls filled him in on their past few days. Ned looked the most relaxed that I’ve seen him since he came to the capital. It wasn’t long before Maester Pycelle came to check on Ned. He advised that Ned should stay in bed over the next week.

“No,” Ned stated firmly.

“Lord Stark, it is imperative that you keep off that leg. The wound is still healing and the next days are critical.”

“Get me a cane and I’ll be fine, Ned argued.

I couldn’t suppress the chuckle that came from my lips.

“Spoken like true man of the North,” I complimented. “Fetch a cane, Maester. I believe the Hand will be just fine with that arrangement. Jory, take the girls back to the Hand’s chambers, please.”

“Of course, Lady Cassandra. Come, little ladies, let’s give your father some space.”

As everyone left the room, I grabbed the stack of clothes that a castle servant had brought for Ned. I ran my fingers over the sigil of House Stark that was imprinted into the leather. My gaze moved up towards Ned who had brought himself to sit with his legs off the side of the bed.

“Now, Lord Stark,” I said with a teasing tone, “do you trust me enough to help you dress? Or would you prefer a servant?”

“I can do it myself, Andra.”

I placed the stack next to him and grabbed his chin in my hand, titling his head to look up at me.

“Don’t be a stubborn prick. If you need help, tell me. I’ll turn my back out of respect but if I hear you struggling, I’m coming to do it myself.”

Ned grinned and placed a hand on the back of my head, bringing me towards him. He gave me the softest of kisses.

“Giving me orders, are you, Lady Baratheon?”

I smiled, remembering his words in Winterfell. Then, I had responded coldly. Now, I kissed him quickly on the lips before pressing my mouth to his brow.

“I am. Don’t be stupid.”

I left him to go look out the window, listening for any indication that he needed help. I was able to watch as Robert, Renly, stupid Lancel, and Ser Barristan walked their horses through the gate and headed towards the Kingswood. As I watched them go, I felt a sense of dread creeping up on me.

My attention was pulled away when I heard a soft ‘Andra’. I turned back to look at Ned. He was  focused on trying to tie some laces on his vest, but there was one behind him that was just out of reach by the look of his struggle. I smiled at the sight of the great Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North, and Hand of the King being bested by a wayward lace.

Ned looked up and froze. I turned and glanced behind me to see what he was looking at but other than the window, there was nothing. My gaze returned to Ned and I sent him a quizzical look.

“What is it?”

“You look like a dream with the sun shining around you.” He started limping towards me, laces forgotten. Once he stood in front of me he slid his hands around my waist and pulled me close.

“Cassandra, you are the most beautiful sight in the world. I don’t just mean your face, which is gorgeous, but you’re energy, the soft smiles you give me, the joy you bring to everyone around you, even the way you carry yourself- it is all so captivating.”

I felt the blush rising to my cheeks. Ned had always called me pretty or beautiful, but never in this way. His voice held so much conviction, as though his words were truth and there was no room for argument on the matter.

I captured his lips in a kiss, words failing me. Ned eagerly returned the gesture, pulling me closer to his body. My hands found their way around his neck. I held him in place there, not allowing him to move away. Although, I didn’t think he would try to remove himself from me. Ned seemed more than content at that moment.

Until there was a knock on the door. Ned pulled away with a groan, irritation flaring in his eyes.

“I’m cutting the hands off the next person who interrupts us with a knock,” he muttered. I laughed and helped him sit back down on the bed before moving to open the door.

Maester Pycelle was standing there, looking particularly grumpy. He had Ned’s cane in his hand. I grabbed it from him and expressed my gratitude. I took the cane to Ned and finished lacing up the leather he wore.

“I believe petitions need to be seen to soon, Lord Hand,” I advised.

“I petition that we stay here and I show you how a lord kisses a lady,” he replied with a wink. My pussy clenched at the implication.

“You are trouble, Ned Stark.”

He let out a chuckle and headed towards the door. I followed behind him, trying to mask the smile that I seem to always get when I’m around the man. We walked slowly through the halls as Ned got used to moving on his leg again.

“Do you normally sit with Robert during the petitions?”

“Sometimes. He normally has Pycelle and Baelish by his side. If one of them is unwell, he invites me. I think he likes to do this by himself since it’s really the only thing he does to interact with his subjects. It’s probably the same reason he hasn’t asked you to be present. He hates making these decisions but likes helping the people at the same time, in a way.”

Ned nodded. “I’d like it if you were with me, Andra. Robert may not always heed your counsel, but I know you always give sound advice based on the wellbeing of the realm and those who live in it.”

I bowed my head in thanks.

“That means a lot, Ned.”

He stopped, grabbing my elbow gently. I stopped immediately, worried his leg was hurting too much.

“My time here in the capital has taught me that it should have been you on that throne, Cassandra. When we discussed who would take it after the rebellion was done, I should have insisted it be you.”

“I told you then that I had no desire to rule.”

“No, but none of the three of us did. We only told Robert he had to take it because he started the damned rebellion. I knew in my gut then that it was supposed to be you.”

“I don’t ever want a crown on my head,” I said with a laugh. “That’s not for me. Now, c’mon. Pycelle will have my head if I don’t get you onto the Iron Throne in time. You’re going too damn slow, old man.”

Ned laughed and playfully bumped my shoulder with his own. As we went the rest of the way, I prepared Ned for what he should expect. I let him know that Pycelle and Baelish both would try advising him but he should stick to his gut. As he finally made it to the throne room, everyone turned to watch him. I slowed so that I was a few paces behind Ned but close enough to reach him if he needed me.

I smiled and waved as I walked, playing my part as a face of the royal family. There were a few of the normal glares and disgusting comments, but just whispers. No one shouted anything vile at me directly. When it came to climbing the stairs, I hurried back to Ned’s side and allowing him use me rather than the cane for support. It made the short climb easier for him. He turned to sit and I found a place in the wings where I could watch from the shadows.

The throne suits him.

I watched as Ned saw petition after petition. He handled each one as I believed Robert would have. Pycelle and Baelish leaned towards him once or twice, but Ned seemed to make his decisions on his own. My heart swelled with pride as I watched him.

As we neared the end of the allotted time, a gentleman walked forward and explained how his village was raided. He described the atrocities and I was sick to my stomach over the things the men did. Pycelle blamed it on common thieves, but the man was adamant that it wasn’t since they didn’t take anything. When the man used ‘Your Grace’ Pycelle snapped irritably that Ned was not the king. It was then that Ned found me in the shadows past Pycelle, giving me a look that said:

‘If I punch this man in the face, would Robert allow me to live?’

I slowly walked behind the men and came up to the side of the Iron Throne, standing between Ned and Baelish. Having known Ned during some of the roughest years of our lives, I could see the nearly imperceptible way his body relaxed when he sensed my presence.

When Ned asked about a banner, the man described Ser Gregor Clegane. Baelish did that infuriating thing he does where he told Ned who the man was talking about without telling Ned who the man was talking about. When another man from the village spilled a bunch of rotting fish on the floor, I sighed.

Catelyn fucking Stark.

I watched as Petyr lean over again and asked if Ned knew why House Lannister would be mad at the Tully’s. For Ned’s sake, I stepped firmly between the two, blocking Baelish from view. I could see Ned was debating his options. I leaned down to whisper in Ned’s ear.

“Is this so called knight a good representation of the Crown?”

Ned smiled at me quickly, letting me know that was all he needed to hear to make his decision. He ordered Beric Dondarian to go and bring Clegane to justice. Ned stood up and declared that in the name of Robert, Clegane would be stripped of all ranks, titles, and lands. He also ordered the Tywin Lannister be brought to court to answer for the crimes of his bannerman.

Pycelle tried to chime in that it was drastic, but Ned said nothing else. He began taking his leave and I followed behind. Petyr stopped to ask if he thought it was wise to provoke the Lannisters. He made a comment about how gold wins wars.

Ned kept going and responded “Then how come Robert is king and not Tywin Lannister?”

This was my favorite side of Ned. I loved when he was sweet and gentle, but nothing made my heart yearn for him more than when he was a warrior, unyielding and ready for battle.

“You made a comment about me wearing the crown, but you clearly handle it well.”

“Pycelle and Baelish did not seem happy.”

“Pycelle is too old and Baelish thinks himself the smartest man alive. They don’t look out for the realm, they look out for themselves and their positions. You did good today, Ned. Those men deserve justice and you put it in motion that they would receive it. And Tywin will be angry, but it’s the right course of action. He just has to show up and Robert will pardon him for the crimes those men committed. I’m proud of you.”

We fell into a comfortable silence as we walked the halls. I ended up spending the entire day by Ned’s side. Once we were in his meeting chamber, we talked about the kingdom and brainstormed ways to get the Crown out of the debt it owed Tywin Lannister.

I found myself thinking more than once that this is how it was supposed to be. Ned and I making decisions together had always been a part of our friendship, especially during the rebellion. Our trust in each other and Robert played a huge role in our victory. Following the rebellion, we should have worked together instead of allowing Jon Arryn and Robert to plunge this kingdom so far into debt.

As evening approached and the sun set, we heard Jory and the girls coming in for the night. Ned stood up from the chair next to me. He squeezed my shoulder in a silent promise to return shortly.

I sat there alone and placed my glass of wine that I had been sipping on throughout the afternoon on Ned’s desk. I smiled to myself as I looked at his mess. Parchment and letters were scattered about, his ink pot was nearly empty, and he had hardened wax in the bowl of the wax spoon. I had no doubt his desk in Winterfell looked the same.

In the middle of the chaos, the book that Pycelle had given him sat. I went around to the other side of his desk and leaned over the tome. We had browsed through it several times while looking for a reason to why Jon Arryn wanted the damn thing. I ran my hand across the pages,  admiring the small scrawl that was written on each page. I turned to the Baratheon page. I saw our sigil drawn in the corner. I ran my hand over the stag before tracing each line of it with my pointer finger.

Ned returned looking like a man on a mission. He came up behind me and stood by my side. He started running his finger down through the list, reading names and descriptions aloud. I watched his fingers, trying to understand what he was doing.

“Joffrey Baratheon, golden-haired,” he finished before looking over to me. “Robert’s bastards. Were they all black of hair?”

I nodded, furrowing my brow. So what if Joffrey had yellow hair?

“I’m Jon’s last hour, he kept repeating ‘the seed is strong’.”

As much as I didn’t want to think about my brother’s seed, I reread each Baratheon description.

“Fuck.”

“I’ve heard rumors that Cersei is close to Jaime.”

I nodded, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes.

“I’ve had my suspicions; Tyrion has made some comments before, but nothing with solid evidence. I never would have thought that those three could be Jaime’s, although that seems so foolish now that I’ve said it aloud. It also explains why Cersei never lets me near the kids; if I spent enough time with them, I might have figured it out. I thought it was just her being possessive of her children.”

“I’m going to tell Robert first thing once he returns.”

“I think you should. He’ll have her head for this- Jaime’s too,” I whispered. “He might even kill the children.”

“You think he would?”

“I never know with Robert’s wrath. He’s a Baratheon through and through. He wants the Targaryen child dead.”

Ned nodded solemnly. “I’ll let Cersei know. That way she can get her children out of the city.”

“No! Ned that is quite possibly the worst idea ever,” I exclaimed as softly as I could. “Cersei is cunning. I’ve seen her worm her way into Robert’s head time and time again. If you give her time to scheme, she will take advantage. She’ll find a way to intercept Robert before you speak to him.”

Ned shook his head. “She’s a mother. She’ll take her children and go.”

“I disagree. I don’t know exactly what the woman is capable of, but I have a feeling that if there was ever someone alive to reveal the truth, she would try to silence them.”

We both froze. Ned registered my words and his understanding very quickly turned to rage.

“Bran.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. That seemed likely.

“So then the dagger-“

“Was not Tyrion’s.”

“Even now you’ll defend the dwarf?”

“Even now,” I confirmed. “Tyrion has lived a life worse than Jon’s. He’s clever and cunning, but not evil. He wouldn’t try to kill a child.”

Ned took one of the longest lasting deep breaths I had ever witnessed.

“I will speak to Cersei. It’s the honorable thing to do.”

“Ned Stark, your honor will get you killed,” I warned. “We should speak to Robert and convince him to leave the children alone. We could tell him to send them to Tywin Lannister so he can decide what to do with his grandchildren.”

Ned shook his head.

“I don’t need you to agree with me, Andra. If this course of action comes back to haunt me, I will bear that burden. I will speak to Cersei.”

Chapter Text

The next day, I was on my way to the Tower of the Hand to try to talk Ned out of speaking to Cersei when I was stopped by the sound of Renly’s voice.

“Cassandra,” he screamed. My head whipped around.

I wanted to vomit just at the sight of my baby brother. His eyes were red and puffy, tears streaking down his face. His hands were held out in front of him as though he was in shock. He was covered head to toe in blood.

I knew I had to be the older sister. Ned and Cersei could wait. Whatever this situation was could not. I ran over to Renly, grabbing his hands in my own, not caring about the blood.

“What’s happened, Renly?”

“R-r-r,” he stammered. I pulled him into my arms, holding his head against my shoulder. It was as though we were children again. Renly used to cling to me and wail whenever he had gotten hurt or one of our older brothers had been mean to him.

“Shhhh, breathe.”

“R-Robert, Andra. Robert’s hurt,” Renly sobbed into my shoulder, his arms wrapping around me and returning the embrace. He cried into me and I did my best to remain calm. Internally, I wanted to throw him off of me and run to Robert, but I knew that Renly needed me just as much. Robert might not have loved our brother as I did, but Renly very much loved both Robert and I.

Stannis was… a different story.

“Come on, Renly, take me to our brother.”

Renly nodded and finally pulled away from me. I took a second to wipe his tears away and give him a soft smile. Renly tried to pull himself together and led me to whatever room they shoved Robert into. I knocked softly and the room opened up to show me my brother, all bandaged up. Cersei, Ned, Maester Pycelle, and Ser Barristan were also in the room.

I made my way to the side of the bed and gently sat on the mattress next to Robert. I pulled back the sheet to see how bad the damage was. I vaguely heard any of the voices behind me offering condolences.

“You fool,” I hissed, tears threatening to fall. “You fucking fool. I told you to wait until Ned was better so I’d be with you.”

“When have I ever listened to you?”

I looked into Robert’s black eyes and began laughing. He joined in not soon after. He grabbed my hand in his and brought it to his chest, directly over his heart.

“You’ve done a good job over the years, Sister. You always had the interest of the realm in mind. Seventeen years of putting up with my unbearable ass.”

“I’ve been putting up with you for thirty-three years,” I corrected with a small smile, the tears freely falling at that point.

“Aye, you have.” He looked around the room. “Leave us! Not you, Ned, you stay.”

Cersei tried to protest before eventually listening to Robert. Ned grabbed a chair and dragged it next to my own. Sitting must had been getting easier for him because he did it without any signs that he was in pain. Robert continued to hold my hand, squeezing lightly.

“We were supposed to be a trio unlike any other.”

“We waged war and won. Twice. All three of us together. We were a great trio,” I assured him, using my free hand to stroke some hair out of his face. Robert smiled.

“Grab the paper and ink, Ned. Write down what I say.”

I sat and listened as Robert gave his final command. He named Ned protector of the realm until the time Joffrey is old enough to take the throne. I looked to Ned who made no sign to reveal the truth to Robert.

I suppose it wouldn’t matter to Robert now. Let him die thinking he had three true born children. With Ned as Lord Regent we had time to figure out what our next steps would be. We would figure it out together.

Robert dismissed Ned after asking for something to ease the pain. I brought Robert’s hand to my lips and placed a soft kiss to the back of it before gently setting it down by his wounded side. I followed Ned out the door where there was a small group waiting. Ned asked for Milk of the Poppy and Maester Pycelle began hobbling into the room.

Ser Barristan gave a brief explanation. I was about to return to Robert’s side, but I heard Varys ask who had provided the wine. I paused slightly before hearing the answer and going back to Robert. I sat back in my chair and grabbed his hand. Maester Pycelle left the room, leaving me alone. He looked so weak.

“This is the end, Andra.”

I nodded solemnly. He spoke true.

“You were always my protector, Robert. You never forced me into anything I didn’t want and the few times when it seemed like you had, I often discovered that it was a situation I needed. I cannot thank you enough for the memories we’ve shared over the years. Mother and Father would be so proud of you if they saw how you took care of your siblings.”

“Stay here, Cassandra. Stay in King’s Landing and help Ned teach my boy right from wrong. You two will make him a better king than I ever was.”

“I’ll stand by Ned’s side,” I promised. “I think losing you will solidify our need to lean on each other more than ever.”

Robert smiled sadly.

“I love you, Cassandra. Never forget that.”

“Never, brother.”

Renly walked back into the room and sat in the chair Ned had pulled up. He sat down and I could hear his sniffles begin behind me. I watched as Robert drifted to sleep.

“He’ll be gone by morning,” I whispered, the reality settling in the pit of my stomach.

“We need to get Joffrey into our custody,” Renly said.

I glanced over at him, confusion apparent on my face. “What?”

“Well, Cersei certainly cannot be in charge of the future king. We know her morals are…questionable. What if she had really given Lancel Lannister poison in the wine?”

I shut my eyes, trying to keep my anger in check. This was not important to me right now. In that moment, the only thing that mattered to me was making sure Robert knew he was loved until his very last breath.

“Robert named Ned as Lord Regent and protector of the realm. Ned will take care of the situation.”

“That won’t matter to her, Sister and you know it. We need to begin our own scheme-“

“You bring this up now, Renly? You bring this up as our brother lay dying?”

“It’s not our job to see him to the other side,” Renly shot back.

I glared at Renly, letting him see that I was done with this conversation.

“I hope that when I die, I am surrounded by those who loved me. I will not allow our brother, who’s given us nearly everything we’ve asked for, to die alone. His own wife isn’t even here with him.”

“And why do you think that is, Sister?”

“If you wish to plot and scheme, Renly, so be it. Just do it away from Robert and I.”

Renly promptly left the room. I watched his retreating body and sighed. I understood his concern, and maybe it was because my brother was a man that I loved so greatly, but I could not bring myself to care about anything other than Robert.

As I sat there, I replayed many memories of my and my brother. Father wanted nothing to do with a daughter, but Robert always took the time to fill that role. He taught me how to ride a horse as a warrior did, not like how ladies were told to. He taught me that when I fell, I never failed, as long as I got back up. He was the one that hired Syrio Forel to train me how to fight with a sword. Instead, Robert taught me how to fight with a hammer, his preferred weapon of choice. Robert would tend to my wounds as a child, seeing as Mother disproved of me ever having a mark or scab on my skin. Any time she saw blood on my person, she had said I deserved it for trying to be a man. Robert always congratulated me and told me it would make me stronger.

Robert had never abandoned me. He never disproved of my choices. In fact, he normally defended my choices when my voice wasn’t heard by others. Robert had been my protector until I met Ned and was soon after betrothed to him. Then I had the two of them to watch out for me. When I wanted to ride to war during the Rebellion with them, Robert was the one who overruled Ned’s concerned protests.

I smiled as I recalled his words: ‘If you are constantly going to chastise me for allowing Andra to fight, you can go back to your Northern wasteland with that Tully girl and promptly fuck off.”

I stayed until morning, watching Robert’s breathing become slower and slower. My eyes burned from the lack of sleep and I knew this next day would be difficult, but I refused to risk falling asleep as Robert breathed his last breath. Despite Renly’s discouragement, I would see my brother to the other side. Maester Pycelle came in to check on us once or twice, but there was nothing more that he could do.

I sat in the same spot, clutching Robert’s hand. I watched as his chest rose and fell for the last time, his body going still, and his hand in mine becoming limp. I sobbed and gently laid my brother’s hand over his heart. I stood up and moved towards the door. I cracked it open slightly and saw Ser Barristan.

“He’s gone,” I whispered to him. My voice quivered and sounded much like that of a terrified child’s. The pain and fear felt from having to say the words were evident. It seemed as though speaking those words made it all final.

I supposed it is final. Robert will never come back. I will never see my brother again.

I sat back down in my chair and watched as Sisters and Maesters came in and out to care for the body. When they moved Robert’s body to take it where they would prepare it for burial, I allowed myself to be alone in the room where my brother’s spirit left his body. I wanted to mourn and be fully encompassed by my grief, just for a little while.

And that was my mistake.

Weeks later, I stood on the balcony of a building located near the Sept of Baelor. I watched as they pulled Ned from the shadows and led him towards the stage. The man confessed to his supposed crimes and conceded that Joffrey was the one true king.

I watched, unsurprised that Joffrey still called for the head of Ned Stark. Illyn Payne unsheathed a broadsword and used it to cleanly remove the face I loved for so long from the rest of the body.

It is done.

I squared my shoulders and turned to the two men behind me. My face was made of stone and my voice laced with venom as I spoke aloud:

“Ours is the fury.”

Chapter Text

THE DAY THE KING DIED

After allowing myself the time to grieve, I stood and made for the door. I could not be certain how long I had stayed in the room, but it was clear that I had missed something.

In the distance, I heard the faint sounds of screams. Louder than that, I heard the rumble of footsteps throughout the Keep. My heart quickened as I hastened down the hall. Something had happened and until I knew what, I wanted to remain in the shadows. I reared back into the shadows as I saw a group of Lannister soldiers rush past.

“The queen wants both Stark girls alive if it can be helped,” the leader commanded.

My blood became ice in my veins. I froze, even my breathing paused for a split second. All it took was the realization that Ned had in fact talked to Cersei for my brain to put the pieces together. Cersei wanted Ned out of the picture and if that was the case, it was likely she wanted me gone as well.

I stuck to the shadows, trying to make my way to my chambers unnoticed. I had to stop and press myself as tightly to the wall as I could a few times. From what I was able to glean from soldiers running past me is that Ned was taken into custody, thrown into the Black Cells, and the men had orders to kill every Northman and capture the Stark girls.

My heart was beating in my ears as I finally saw the familiar doors to my room. I quickly entered, shutting the doors behind me gently. I ran to where I kept my weapons. Like always, I threw both my bow and quiver over my shoulders. I grabbed the belt with my sword sheath and wrapped it around my waist. I sheathed my sword then reached out to grab my thigh strap for my daggers, but froze as I felt cool steel touch my neck. I gulped. There hadn’t been any noise and the door was still closed. Whoever held this sword had already been hiding in my room when I entered.

“If you plan to kill me, then be done with it,” I growled.

“That depends. Did you conspire against Lord Stark?”

I quickly turned when Jory’s voice reached my ears. He was looking at me with a blank expression. I placed my hand on his blade, not caring that one wrong move would slice my skin.

“Jory, I would never betray Ned.”

Jory stared at me a long moment before his gaze softened. He pulled his sword away from me and sheathed it.

“No, I don’t think you would. Lord Stark trusted you with his life, so I’m inclined to trust you with it as well.”

“Why are you here and not with Arya and Sansa?”

“Lord Stark sent me to find you the second he was called to the Throne Room. He said the girls had men to protect them. I’m your assigned Northern guard, I suppose.”

I nodded, heart swelling that Ned ranked me the same importance as his daughters. I finished strapping my dagger holster to my thigh and grabbed the three daggers that would be hidden there. I showed Jory my cache and told him to take anything he needed. I grabbed a bag and threw a few tunics and pairs of britches into it. I grabbed a black cloak to throw around my shoulders.

The door flew open to show Sandor Clegane. I quickly drew my sword and held it out in front of me. Never lowering my weapon or taking my eyes off Clegane’s, I returned to Jory, standing in front of him protectively.

“The queen sent me to find you,” Clegane stated. He set his hand on the hilt of his sword. “And so I’ve found you.”

“So you found me,” I echoed. “What now?”

“I suppose I’ll have to take you to her. I really was hoping you were clever enough to find your way out of the Keep.”

I smiled softly. Jory reached for his sword, but I stopped him with my free hand.

“I thought of us as friends, Sandor.”

“As did I, Cass. But I’m just following orders.”

“And if I give you my own orders?”

Sandor laughed. “Wouldn’t be much of a hound if I wasn’t loyal.”

“At what point does a hound realize its owners won’t take care of it? Joffrey verbally abuses you daily, belittling you and dehumanizing you. Cersei will use you as a glorified weapon. I’ve always treated you well, haven’t I?”

Sandor kept quiet.

“Where are the Stark girls, Sandor,” I asked, lowering my sword ever so slightly.

“I took Sansa to Cersei-“

Jory tried to lunge towards Sandor, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“Cersei still wants her to marry Joffrey. She wants something to hold over Ned,” I concluded.

“Aye, keep the wolf tamed.”

“So she’ll let him live?”

“Cersei’s a bitch, but she ain’t stupid. She knows if she kills Eddard Stark, Joffrey will have a war to deal with. However, the kid is mad, Cass. If he wants the Stark dead then the Stark will die.”

I nodded slowly.

There’s not going to be a way for me to get Sansa out of the castle now. Ned I have a chance to save. I have to get him out of the dungeons.

“Do I have your loyalty, Sandor?”

Sandor glared at me.

“What do you want of me?”

“I want you to swear to me that you’ll protect Sansa Stark until your last breath. Even if she refuses and you have to take her out kicking and screaming, do it. Get her out of King’s Landing and take her to Winterfell the first chance you get. Be discreet and do not let anyone know your loyalty has shifted.”

“If I do this? How will you repay The Hound’s loyalty?”

I lowered my sword completely and approached the large man.

“Sandor Clegane, if you bring Sansa Stark to me in Winterfell, I will serve you your brother’s head on a silver platter. If she’s still a maiden, I’ll give you his cock and balls as well.”

Sandor grinned at that.

“Then I swear it, Cass. Get out of the city quickly. I heard the other Stark girl was with her dancing teacher.”

With that Sandor left. Jory and I exchanged a glance.

“Do you trust him?”

“I’m going to have to.”

Jory and I found our way to the Hand’s Tower in no time. We went the scenic route, which was relatively empty. We only had to duck behind a pillar a handful of times on our journey through the castle.

“FIND THE GIRL,” I heard bellowed as we neared the room that Arya and Syrio have their lessons. I heard the heavy thud of footsteps,  but Jory was quicker to react. He grabbed me and ducked behind another pillar. He held his hand over my mouth his other arm held me firmly against his body. I wanted to resist, but when I saw the large man in armor approaching I thought better of it.

It was Meryn Trant, one of my least favorite Kingsgaurd. I knew he held no loyalty to House Baratheon and would likely capture me if I tried to speak to him. He was walking down the hall slowly, looking around as he did so.

“Come out, come out, little Stark girl.”

Another soldier appeared at the end of the hall.

“Have you seen the king’s sister? Cassandra Baratheon?”

“No, I thought that was The Hound’s job.”

“That fucking moron couldn’t find the bitch. Queen Cersei’s out for blood; she wants her head.”

My eyes widened. I was suddenly very grateful for Jory’s hand over my mouth. He most definitely stifled the tiny gasp that would have left my lips. We watched as the soldiers disappeared around a corner. When the sound of their footsteps became too light to hear, Jory released me and we continued into the room Trant had come out of. I softly cursed when I saw Syrio lying on the ground, blood beginning to pool around him.

“Syrio,” I said, falling onto my knees next to him.

“Ahhhhh, Cassandra. That man had no idea how to kill a man,” Syrio laughed. “You’ll need to stitch me up, but for now wrap it.”

I rolled my eyes but grabbed a chunk of my dress. I ripped a good sized chunk off and began wrapping Syrio’s wound. It was a lot of blood, but it seemed superficial. He was right, with some stitching he would be good as new.

“Where is Arya?”

“The girl ran when I told her to.”

“Well,” I said, looking up at Jory, “we know she’s good at hiding. We’ll have to search the city.”

“Clegane told us to leave King’s Landing quickly.”

“I just need time to figure out how to get Ned out of the dungeons. A few days. We can look for Arya and make a plan to save her father. Syrio, we’re going to need a ship. Does the Sealord of Bravos owe you any favors?”

Syrio just smiled in response.

For the next few days, Jory and I scoured the city. We wore all back, including cloaks that pulled over our heads and hid our faces. We never split up in fear of the other getting caught. It was dangerous and difficult seeing as the City Watch were also out looking for any Northern men, Arya, and myself. Jory and I had built a sense of trust along the way.

Day after day we never had any luck. We would return back to the little apartment we were able to find shelter in. It was near the Sept of Baelor which was a busy part of town, but the house went unnoticed. No one cared about the run down building. If the owners found us take shelter in there, it would raise issues, but from what I could tell the place had been abandoned for months.

It was one week into our searching when I finally had a bone thrown my way. The Night’s Watch man that told Ned about Cat taking Tyrion had made a reappearance. We bumped into him when trying to grab more food for our little trio. To my surprise, it was Jory he recognized.

“Aren’t you the man who was outside Lord Stark’s door staring me down? If you need any help with getting back North or anything really, know that the Night’s Watch owes a lot to the Stark family. Just let me know how to help.”

Jory looked down at me, silently pleading for me to take the lead for this conversation.

“It is good to see you again,” I whispered. “We should talk somewhere more private.”

The Brother of the Night’s Watch nodded and followed Jory and I. We found a secluded area to speak. It helped that the sun had already set; the streets were nearly empty. We huddled close in one of the smaller alleyways.

“It was Yoren, if I recall correctly?”

“Aye, my lady.”

“Yoren, you told Lord Stark that Benjen was as much your brother as he was to Ned. Do you still believe that?”

“I do. Like I said, the Starks have done a lot for the Wall. The Night’s Watch doesn’t involve themselves in politics, but the Starks will always have the support of us brothers in black.”

I silently regarded the man. He had honest eyes and I had a feeling in my gut saying to trust him. I internally sighed. I felt like I had been putting a lot of trust into people recently; I only hoped that none of it would come back to haunt me.

“No one has found the youngest daughter of Lord Stark,” I explained. “We’ve been looking since he was taken into custody but we haven’t had much luck. It would help to have another set of eyes looking out for her. You met Jon Snow? She looks similar to him. You should know her if you find her, and if you’re unsure I want to see them anyways.”

Yoren nodded as I spoke. He held out his hand. I clasped my forearm against his own.

“As long as you mean right by the Starks, I will do everything in my power to help. I only have another week here in the capital before I must return North.”

“Thank you, Yoren, truly. If you need to find me, light a torch near midnight at the base of the statue of Baelor.”

Jory ushered me along. I’ve learned the man did not like to stay in one place for too long. We made our way back to the market to see what merchants still had to offer for food. We found a baker about to toss some stale bread. He gave us a fair price on the less than his normal quality of loaves. A few stalls down was a vendor selling roasted boar. Once I heard Jory’s stomach grown just from a smell I knew that I was going to splurge on this meal. Jory deserved a full belly after the week he had endured.

After haggling the price down, solely for the sake of feeling like I had a mini victory, I coughed up the requested coin. Jory and I made our way towards the little house we were calling home. We knocked on the back door in a way that Syrio had showed us. The door opened almost immediately.

Syrio shut the door the instant our feet crossed the threshold. We all sat down at the table in the middle of what looked like a poor excuse for a solar. I divided the portions, giving Jory more off of my portion. I could live on the small amount; I wanted Jory strong enough to fight like a true Northman if we ran into any conflict. He glanced at me, his eyes showing me that he was thankful for the gesture. I smiled and turned to Syrio.

“We have someone else looking for Arya.” Syrio ignored me.

“I think you should let Jory and I go together tomorrow, Cassandra. I can see that you are getting little sleep.”

That’s an understatement.

“I agree with him,” Jory stated. “You need a break. You were sleepless at Lord Stark’s side and then again at King Robert’s side when they were injured. You need to catch up on rest.”

“If you two think I’m going to get even a wink of sleep while Ned is locked in a dungeon, then you’re both mad.”

Jory and Syrio exchanged a glance. They must have known that arguing was futile because they said nothing and continued eating. I picked at my portion. I hadn’t had much of an appetite since Robert had been injured. The stress of everything had been weighing too greatly on my shoulders.

I forced myself to eat; I knew that I needed to in order to function properly. Jory and Syrio each bid me goodnight as they retreated to their respective sleeping areas. They gave me the bedroom for the obvious reason of me being a high born lady. I sat at the table alone for a time, pondering the situation I found myself in. Once I started thinking about Robert, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

My companions are right; I should try to get some sleep. If not, I’ll drown myself in emotions.

I stood up and ascended to my designated room. I flopped onto the bed and tried to sleep. As it had been the past few days, I instead spent the night tossing and turning.

Chapter Text

I paced around the room, stress all but consuming me. Jory and Syrio had been leading the search for Arya for about a week now. The past few days they had been hearing whispers on the streets of King’s Landing that tomorrow would be the day that they brought Ned before an audience and ‘held him accountable for his crimes against the Crown’. I had not made any progress in figuring out a way to save him. I only had two men, I could not storm the castle or the Sept of Baelor. I did not have any tricks up my sleeves, no wild cards, nothing to use against Cersei. I could feel the rage bubbling up, making my blood boil.

How dare these Lannisters try to take control of the kingdom? They defended the damn Mad King! And yet, they are going to do it. Unless a miracle walks into this room at this very moment-

I froze as the door opened and an unfamiliar face walked in. I immediately grabbed my sword from where it was leaning against the desk. I held it out in front of me. The man stood there, both hands held out in defense. He was clearly Braavosi, but I doubted that he was a friend of Syrio’s.

“Who are you?”

“I am anyone and I am no one.”

Fucking Braavosi.

“I’d rather not speak in riddles. Tell me your name.”

“They call me Jorien where I come from.”

“What are you doing here, Jorien? How did you get in?”

“The Many-Faced God sent me here. He opened the way.”

My ears perked up. This was a Faceless Man that I was speaking to. I knew very little about the cult of assassins, but I had heard that their help never came cheap. Even more, sometimes there payment was not in coin, instead it was a life for a life.

“I have no need for an assassin.”

“The Many-Faced God did not bring me here to kill anyone. He sent me here to solve your problem. You see, the Faceless Man can only wear a face that is gone from this world- someone who has died.”

I was thankful that he appeared to be speaking plainly. However, I still did not know how impersonating a dead man would help me. Robert? Everyone saw that he died; they would claim it was witchcraft and want him burned. Jorien must have seen my confusion because he continued.

“My god sent me here with the face of a living man. I’ve never seen it happen before.”

“What face did your god send you with?”

So quickly Jorien brought his hands to his face and dropped them. My heart stopped. Familiar stormy grey eyes looked back at me, devoid of any love that could normally be found. I let out a small gasp, fingers coming up to cover my mouth. I had my plan in an instant.

“My god demands that this man live.”

“If you do this, if you take his place, there is a chance that you yourself will die.”

“As my god commands,” he said with such conviction in his tone. He once again changed his face to look like the man he walked in here as.

I sat down, returning my sword to its place beside my desk. This was my miracle, whether from the old gods, new gods, Many-Faced god, or all of them combined. I just needed to figure out how to get him into the Black Cells.

“Do you know the layout of the Red Keep?”

“The Many-Faced God will show us the way, just as he led me to this door. I did manage to get these before coming here.”

Jorien produced a set of large iron keys. My heart was pounding in my chest at this point. Everything was lining up in the most perfect way.

We were gone before Jory and Syrio returned for the day. I donned my cloak once again and we made our way towards the coast. Part of me was screaming that I was an absolute imbecile for trusting a damn assassin, who just so happened to have keys to the very place I needed to get to, and even more so for going out with him alone.

The other part of me was so desperate to save Ned that I was willing to risk everything. I lived seventeen years without Ned, but I knew he was out living his life in the North. Imagining a world without Ned was comparable to torture. In fact, I would happily sit through another round of being burned with hot irons before giving up Ned’s life.

When we made it to the coast, I followed Jorien into an opening in the cliffside. The passage soon turned dark, but we kept going. Everything around us was pitch black, save for the torch in Jorien’s hand. It illuminated the path enough to see just in front of us.

The narrow passage eventually opened up into a much larger area. I knew we were in the right place when I began seeing dragon skulls. We were in the Keep. Jorien led us through passageway after passageway. We passed a beautiful dragon mosaic, which I made myself walk past even though I wanted to study the art. I had never seen it in my seventeen years in the Keep.

We passed the torture chambers which were hardly ever used since Robert took the throne. In fact, the only time they had been used was without Robert’s knowledge and he raised hell when he had found out. My heart began beating so loudly I was sure Jorien could hear it. I knew that one more level and I would find Ned. Once we reached the black cells, even the torch did very little to light the way.

“Ned,” I whispered out. No one answered. We ventured further into the cells. Occasionally I would whisper Ned’s name, but never received a response.

We finally walked by a pillar and I noticed a small glint caught my eye. I pointed and Jorien moved his arm, lighting the way. I walked to the other side of the pillar and fell to my knees next to the body.

Ned was leaned against the pillar, head tilted back and eyes closed. I froze long enough to confirm that his chest was rising and falling. Once I saw the smallest of movements, relief flooded my body. I looked to Ned’s hand and saw the source of the glint.

My hair piece, the one he kept in his boot, was lying in his opened hand. I smiled as tears threatened to fall. I grabbed the water skin that was lying near Ned and realized it was empty. Someone had tried keeping him alive, but it seemed they hadn’t visited recently. I swapped the empty skin for the full one I had brought with us. I uncorked it and brought it to Ned’s dry lips, titling just enough that the moisture wet his cracked skin.

“Ned,” I whispered, shaking him lightly. “Ned, my love, wake up.”

Ned let out a groan and his eyes blinked open ever so slowly. I could tell he was still, out of it, so I tilted the skin once more, this time allowing water to spill down his cheek. His eyes widened and he desperately grabbed the water skin. I watched as he gulped down as much as possible.

“We have a long walk back,” I informed him, “Save some just in case you get tired.”

“Cass,” he said weakly, wiping his face. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, someone has to save your sorry arse,” I said with a small giggle, feeling so much lighter now that I could see that Ned was alive. “We have to go. Quickly.”

Ned nodded and began moving his stiff body in an attempt to loosen up the unused muscles. He looked behind me and his eyes traveled up to Jorien.

“Who’s this?”

“Your salvation, Eddard Stark,” the Braavosi replied.

Ned’s brow furrowed. He looked to me for clarity.

“Jorien here is on a quest given to him by his Many-Faced God. He will be standing in for you so that we can get you as far from the city as possible before any whispers of our survival begin.”

“The girls?”

I bit my lip. If I told him the truth, he would refuse to leave. I could never lie to Ned though, he knew me too well.

“Arya is missing, but I have men looking for her. Sansa is still in the castle, but I have a man watching over her with orders to bring her to Winterfell unharmed. Cersei will not kill her, Ned. She needs her to keep the North under her thumb. You, on the other hand, are not so safe. I’ve heard that Joffrey wants you dead.”

“Varys said that if I bend the knee she would send me to the Watch.”

“Cersei might, but Joffrey is beginning to show his true colors now that he wears the crown. If he wants you dead, you will die.”

Ned stayed silent. He took another small sip from the skin, heeding my advice to savor it. I held my hand out and Jorien dropped the keys into my palm. I made quick work of the chains, gently touching the tender skin where the iron dug into Ned’s wrists. He grimaced at the contact.

“I’ll wrap them when we get back to the house. Can you stand?”

Ned nodded. Jorien and I helped him to his feet. The Faceless Man then began stripping down to his underclothes. Ned stepped back, a confused look on his face.

“I need you to strip too, Lord Stark. Jorien needs your clothes.”

“Cass, this isn’t right. What if Joffrey does call for my head? This man will die in my place. Where’s the honor in that?”

“Ned, I am about to take your idea of honor and shove it so far up your arse if you speak of it again. You gave Cersei the time she needed to prepare as an honorable act of mercy and now look: Arya’s missing, Sansa’s a prisoner, you’re on your way to possible execution, and nearly every man in your household is dead. Now is not the time to be the honorable Eddard Stark. Right now, I need you to be the Ned Stark that loves me enough to come with me simply because I am not strong enough to lose you.”

Ned’s gaze instantly softened. He cupped my face in his hand and leaned his forehead against mine. We looked at each other for a second before Jorien cut in.

“If it’s any consolation, Eddard Stark, I owe my death to the Many-Faced God. You see, the Faceless Men do not take a life without payment. When I first started following my god and learning the magic he gifted his acolytes, I took a life for my own selfish gain. I knew the day would come when the Many-Faced God demanded payment. If I live tomorrow, it is his gift to me, but if I die, it is him collecting what is owed.”

Ned stared a long while at the man before nodding slowly. That was the only sign I needed to spring into action. I began unlacing his leather pieces. Ned allowed me to strip him down and give everything to Jorien. I helped Jorien settle onto the ground. He put on Ned’s face and held out his hands. I looked between the two men quickly.

It is truly uncanny.

I shackled the man, hoping my gratefulness showed in my eyes. Behind me, Ned dressed quickly. His leg must have felt better because he only needed my shoulder to lean on so he could get that leg of his britches up. He grabbed the cloak that Jorien had and tried it around him. I reached up to pull the cloak over his head before reaching up on my toes and placing a kiss to his forehead. As I pulled away, he caught me by the waist and pulled me close, pressing his lips against mine for the briefest of moments.

“I cannot leave the castle without-“

“Ned, she will be safe,” I chided. Ned shook his head.

“I trust you, Cassandra. If you say you have someone looking out for my daughter, then I will accept your judgment. But I need to get Ice.”

“Your sword?”

“The Stark sword,” he corrected. “It’s been in the family for generations and I refuse to be the Stark that lost it to Tywin Lannister.”

I bit my lip. This would likely be one of the foolish decisions I’d ever make, but then again I had just entrusted my life to an assassin leading me into a dark cave.

“Stay close to me,” I commanded. “You better be prepared to push through like a true Northman because I will not allow your limp to slow us down.”

Ned smiled, gesturing for us to move. I looked down to Jorien once more. He was watching us, amusement apparent on his face.

“Thank you, Jorien. I pray that you find your reconciliation with your god.”

“Take the first unrecognizable passageway you come across. My god will lead you to the sword. Go, Cassandra Baratheon. Fight for the realm and show the hypocrites the fury that runs in your veins.”

I nodded, not quite sure what he meant. I had no part in whatever fight was to come. I only wanted to see Ned back to Winterfell, hopefully to be reunited with his family. From there, I was not sure. Renly clearly had no inclination to find me. From what whispers I’ve heard in the streets, he had already returned to Storm’s End. I could try to sail to Dragonstone, but Stannis was my stoic brother, the stereotypical second son that did not get what he wanted from life.

I pushed all that out of my mind. If I let myself think about it for too long, I knew my anxiety would start bubbling up and distract me.

Ned and I wound our way back to where the dragon mosaic was. This time, I allowed myself a second to stop and look. It was truly beautiful. The intricate design laid out with tiles of different shapes and sizes boasted true craftsmanship. It was the Targaryen sigil, but each tile seemed to hold a different hue of black and red. I held the torch over the art and realized that something looked different.

“Ned? Does the Targaryen sigil have a pupil in one of the dragons’ eyes?”

“Just one? No, I think the eyes are all white. Why?”

I felt him move closer to me. He placed his head on my shoulder, presumably to see what I was looking at. He let out a gentle hum.

“It’s odd that one tiny incorrect detail would make the entire art piece look wrong,” Ned mused, “I’m surprised whomever had it commissioned did not correct the artist for their mistake.”

“Unless it wasn’t a mistake,” I said, stooping down to look at it closely. Following a hunch, I placed the torch against the out of place pupil. Targaryens liked fire, after all.

A hidden door in the wall slid open. I exchanged a brief glance with Ned before following the new path. We followed the trail for what seemed like hours until it finally emptied us into the royal armory.

Right in the middle of the room, sitting on a sharpening stone, was Ice. I groaned.

“Tell me that imbecile did not try to sharpen Valyrian steel on a normal fucking stone,” I hissed. “Stay here. I’ll go quickly.”

“Let me,” Ned argued. I raised my eyebrow in a way to ask if he was serious.

“Not a chance. This seems too easy and if one of us needs to make a run, it’s not you, Hobbles.”

I hurried to the sharpening stone. I’ve only held this particular blade once or twice when Ned would drop it during the rebellion and the damn thing was nearly as heavy as I was. I prepared my muscles to take on the weight of the sword. I reached my hand out to grab the large weapon.

The second I touched the hilt, a voice cut through the silence. I looked up, eyes wide. I could not see anyone, but I could hear the sound of approaching footsteps. I could make out only a few words, such as ‘Ice’, ‘Valyrian’, and ‘keep it sharp’.

No longer caring about being absolutely silent, I grabbed the scabbard that Ned normally kept on his belt and slung it around my shoulder. I grabbed the sword tightly and heaved it over my shoulder, taking care to keep the blade flat against my skin. I walked as quickly as I could back to the opening in the wall. Ned was quick to take the blade from me, relieving my body of the weight. I heard a roar of anger just as the panel had slid shut behind me.

“I don’t even want to know what magic is in these walls,” I said, handing him the scabbard as well.

Ned situated Ice on his back and covered most of it with his cloak. I helped him reposition his hood so that his face could not be seen. We followed the path back out. Once back at the dragon mosaic, I led us back down the paths that Jorien had brought us through. I surprised myself when we emerged from the cliff be the sea. I hadn’t been sure that I would remember the way.

Nightfall had come and I felt much better about taking Ned through the city. Although, I still followed all the rules Jory, Syrio, and I had put into place ever since bumping into Yoren. Any time we saw someone, we ducked into the shadows. We followed the darkened roads and streets. The men were supposed to take care of dinner, but I knew there was no world in which they prepared for a starving Eddard Stark. I’m We finally made it to the house. I rapped Syrio’s tune against the door.

Jory was the one to open it, quickly pulling me into his arms.

“I have never been so scared to see an empty home in my life, Cassandra,” he exclaimed, squeezing me tightly.

“Yes, Jory was about to storm the Red Keep,” Syrio said, amusement laced in his voice. “Let the girl go so she can introduce us to her guest.”

Jory must have finally looked behind me, because he took a few steps back, dragging me along with him. He grabbed a dagger from the sheath on my thigh and held it out in front of him.

“You’re going to pull a knife on me, Jory Cassel?” Ned taunted, lowering his hood. Jory practically yelped as he released me and bowed his head, dagger falling from his hand.

“Lord Stark! How- when- I’m sorry!”

Ned chuckled and embraced his fellow Northman.

“The only time I better ever see you raise a blade to me is if you’re protecting my loved ones again.”

“Of course, my lord. Lady Cassandra, you have a tale to tell then?”

I smiled and nodded towards our little makeshift solar. We all took a seat and I began telling them about the events since Robert’s death from my perspective. As I spoke, portions were divvied up between the three of us and I handed Ned the whole of what we bought on our way back. After telling my story, Ned began filling in his side of the events, including his talk with Cersei before he found out about Robert’s injury. We let Jory and Syrio both know about Cersei’s bastard children, including the one sitting on the throne. Ned also mentioned his talk with Renly when my brother claimed he should be king. Ned argued that Stannis was next in line for the throne.

“I agree. My brother is cold, but he is firm. He won’t let anyone step over him and he’s always had a good head on his shoulders. That being said, he is not good with people. He will need to heavily rely on his council members to get the people to love him. He’d probably replace most of the small council, including you and I,” I said.

“I have no quarrels about that, do you?”

“No, of course not. The biggest issue staring us in the face is Stannis’ lack of heir. The people might grumble that we’ll be in the same boat as we are now.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Varys mentioned Robb is marching South. We should go meet him and stop him before the boy makes a mistake.”

“Robb? Your son Robb is marching South because you were imprisoned?”

Ned nodded. I sighed. I couldn’t blame the boy; I’d probably have done the same thing if Renly wasn’t the face of Storm’s End. If I had the men to back me, I would have absolutely turned the Keep to ashes. Ned was right, that should be the first issue we address.

“I think we should wait until they bring Jorien to the Sept of Baelor. If Arya hears that her father will be in the town, she might try to be there. I think we give it one last shot before abandoning the city.”

Everyone was in agreement. We started to go over the best route. I told Syrio I still wanted to leave the city by boat. We had observed the City Watch pulling down cloaks and looking at every single person who left on foot or horseback. From what we had seen, the docks were less guarded. We decided that Syrio would go ahead of us with our belongings and get the crew ready to make a swift departure. As we planned for the upcoming days, I bandaged Ned’s wrists.

Jory was the first to retire. From what Syrio told us after, he was truly distraught when they returned and I wasn’t here. I had left behind a note but it didn’t do much to ease his anxious mind. It warmed my heart to know that Jory had grown so fond of me and cared about my wellbeing.

Syrio eventually excused himself which left Ned and I at the table. I watched as he finished another skin of water.

“How was prison?”

Ned shot me a playful glare as I stood. I held out my hand to him. He stared at it before his gaze rose back to meet my own. He grabbed my hand and I led him to the room I had claimed.

We made it to the door and I paused. I turned to face him, leaning back against the wood. Ned looked down at me, his grey eyes were like a beautiful storm to get lost in.

“What are your intentions, Lady Baratheon,” he asked, moving a lock of my hair behind my way. I blushed at the words I had often asked him when he walked me to my chambers at night while we were teens.

“Will you hold me? It’s been…” I sighed dejectedly, not being able to control the tears that began falling down my face. “It’s been a hard couple of weeks.”

Ned brushed the line of water streaming down my face. He leaned down to place a tender kiss just above my brow. Desperate for any form of comfort, I pushed forward and threw my arms around his waist, squeezing tight. As I pressed my tear stained cheek against the light fabric of Jorien’s tunic, I could hear a low chuckle come from him, his chest moving ever so slightly. He returned the embrace, holding me securely against his body.

“Let’s go lie down, my love,” he whispered, using his foot to toe the door open. “Step on.”

I let out a childlike giggle as I stepped onto his boots. I looked up at him, I’m sure my swooning evident on my face. Just as he used to, he waddled us into the room, reaching a hand back to shut the door. He continued the journey, taking care to lay me gently on the bed once we reached it. I untied my cloak and unceremoniously rolled off the fabric. Then I snuggled up under the blankets.

Ned chuckled and removed his tunic, slipping under the covers behind me. He pulled me towards him, wrapping an arm protectively around my torso. His touch sent waves of warmth dancing along my skin. It took no time at all for my eyes to droop and my brain to finally turn off.

Chapter Text

The next day, we watched from the balcony as Jorien was decapitated. Even from the distance, I could see the prayer on his lips before the sword fell. Seeing the truth that Joffrey was not going to take orders from Cersei helped solidify my resolve.

This boy will not continue my brother’s legacy and rein. I will make sure of it.

I turned to Ned and Jory and spat out the words of House Baratheon in the spirit of Robert.

“Ours is the fury.”

I walked out of our temporary shelter, quickly morphing into the crowd and heading towards the docks. The two Northerners had done a good job keeping up as well as they did- I expected them to stick out among the crowd. They did appear taller, but being covered in large cloaks with drooping hoods kept their identities hidden. We made it about two blocks down before I heard a voice shout out:

“Excuse me! Move! Official Night’s Watch business over here! Move!”

I turned behind us to see Yoren looking directly at me. How the man had spotted me in a crowd, I was not sure. I put a hand on Ned as a silent command to stay there. For now, the less people that knew Ned Stark lived, the better. I wove my way through the crowd, heart speeding up when I saw Yoren had Arya by the shoulder. He was clutching her tunic tightly in his hand. She looked scared and was fighting against him.

I quickly made my way towards him, shouldering my way past person after person. Once I was before him, I knelt down so that Arya could see my face. Her eyes lit up in recognition.

“Lady-“

I held my finger up to my lips in a polite command to keep quiet. I grabbed her hand and thanked Yoren, promising to send coin to the Night’s Watch. I led Arya back over to Jory and her father. Ned kept his face covered since there was still a large crowd around us. He pulled Arya into his arms the second we made it back to them.

A daughter must know the feeling of their father’s embrace because Arya’s eyes immediately widened. She started clutching onto Ned like he would slip through her fingers. I could see that she was had tears welling up in her eyes.

To her credit, she did not let them fall.

Our quartet began walking to the edge of the port, keeping Arya in the middle of us. I looked all around before spotting the sails Syrio had described to me. I cursed out in frustration.

The fucking thing is already sitting halfway into the bay.

I turned to watch the port to see if I could spot Syrio himself. It was then that Jory bumped my arm and subtly gestured to the City Watch officers that were checking faces of everyone boarding boats. I wasn’t sure when they had changed their routine, but it explained why Syrio had already set sail.

I walked along a trail that ended up taking us to the edge of the cliffside. I leaned over to look down and saw the water wasn’t too far.

“Does everyone know how to swim,” I asked, turning around.

All three shook their heads.

“Truly? None of you? How in the hells did you two fight a war against Balon Greyjoy without learning how to swim?”

“We’re from the North, Andra; we don’t have many opportunities to learn.”

“But,” Jory pitched in, “we do learn things quickly.”

Ned nodded in agreement. Arya even let out a firm ‘aye’. I smiled, placing my hand on her shoulder.

“I have faith that you would pick it up quickly, Arya, but these waves are strong and you’ve only been building up your muscles for a few months with sword lessons. You’ll hold on to me. I promise I’ll teach you another time. Boys: left, right, left. Kick your legs and be sure to hold your breath while swimming and intake air when above water.”

I showed the motions that they would need to use. The men nodded. I pulled off my tunic, leaving me in only my bindings. I spoke as I did so:

“Clothes will weigh you down. I’d at least get ride of your shirts. The extra fabric on the sleeves will make it awkward and more difficult. Ned, I’d take the scarf off around your face. You’ll need to breathe.”

With that, I began with a run and dove into the water below. Growing up in Storm’s End, I had practically spent my early life in the water. To build strength, Robert had taught me how to swim in every weather condition, including lightning storms. Thankfully the wind was not as strong today as it had been. With the heat, the water was borderline refreshing. I could almost enjoy it.

If it were not for the fact that if we were spotted then we would all lose our heads.

I looked above me, where three faces were watching me. I held out my arms.

“C’mon, little lady.”

I didn’t catch the girl, specifically because I wasn’t sure how that sword of hers was positioned. Once she was submerged, I swiftly grabbed her and brought her back to the surface. She coughed out a little water. Right after her, Jory landed. Bringing up the rear was Ned.

“You’ll get better at keeping it out of your nose and mouth with practice. Here, grab me around my neck. Try to keep your hands lower here rather than on my throat. Hold your breath; I’ll tap you when it is safe to get more air. Breathe out through your nose just a little every so often so the water keeps out. And keep that sword somewhere where it won’t poke me.”

Arya nodded. I turned in the water and she positioned herself onto my back. I moved her hands a little, trying to find the most comfortable spot for both of us. Once ready, I began my strokes toward Syrio’s boat.

Jory and Ned were right behind me from what I could tell. I fought the waves as best as I could. I still had my britches and Arya’s clothes fighting against me as I tried to pull us forward. Thankfully, after an exceptionally strong wave cause me to intake water, my survival instinct seemed to kick in. I began cutting through the water as though I were a fish. I would take small breaks and tap Arya so she could get a few seconds of air. When we did so, I’d look back to see how the men were doing. They were a little ways behind us, but keeping us pretty well for it being their first time. I had been worried about Ned’s leg, but he must be feeling better after much water and two large meals, because he picked up the motions even quicker than Jory.

We were doing well and Syrio must have caught sight of us because the boat began heading in our direction. They were upon us in no time. I led our group to the side that was hidden from the view of the port. I grabbed the ladder that was attached to the ships side. Jory went first, followed by Ned. They wanted to make sure everything was okay before bringing Arya aboard. Once Ned waved his hand, I helped Arya get onto the ladder. When she felt secure, she began climbing quickly. I did the same, my arms screaming from the sudden workout they had endured.

“Welcome aboard,” Syrio called as I hauled myself over the railing. He was quick to wrap a drying cloth around me. I smiled gratefully. Ned had pulled down his face coverings and was holding Arya tightly.

“The City Watch had their eye specifically on the port today,” Syrio explained. “I suppose they gave up looking for Arya and you at the gates. If we had stayed any longer, I would have surely caught their attention.”

“No need to worry, my friend. These two kept up pretty well.”

“Let’s get you a change of clothes. You too, Arya. Come, the Sealord of Braavos sent gifts for you, Cassandra.”

Arya turned and registered who had spoken. Her face lit up in an instant. She pushed her father’s hands away from her and ran towards Syrio. She threw herself against him and squeezed hard enough to make Syrio wheeze. His eyes held nothing but affection for the child though.

“You’re alive!”

“Of course! They won’t be killing Syrio Forel quite so easily, ah?”

I followed Syrio to the captain’s quarters. Inside, there were several trunks of clothes, food, and even coin. The nearest trunk to me was full of jewelry, including bangles, necklaces, and even headpieces. I looked towards Syrio.

“This was… a gift? To me? Why?”

Syrio shrugged. “I told the Sealord about your intentions to put a just and fair leader on the throne. The Sealord wants to start off a new relationship with foreign leaders on a good note.”

“I’m not the leader though.”

Syrio smiled sheepishly.

“I may have told the Sealord of Braavos that you were. This was before you rescued Lord Stark and brought your brother into the conversation. I just wanted to give him a name for assurance.”

My gaze dropped down to Arya whose wide eyes were staring at all the trunks. I pushed her lightly. She looked up at me and I nodded, giving her permission to go wild. She immediately started digging through the clothes. I smiled and moved beside her, grabbing the a silk top. I learned that Arya also favored a tunic and britches. She found a few fabrics that she liked that were slightly too big. I promised her we’d stitch them up so that they would fit.

“Aren’t you a fighter? Why do you stitch things?”

“Arya,” Ned chastised, alerting us to his presence. I smiled at him so that he’d know I took no offense. Arya, ever the fighter, was quick to defend herself.

“What? Uncle Benjen said she fought off fifteen men once. Why waste your time learning to stitch if you had a sword?”

“Well, little lady,” I began, “stitching is an art that even soldiers use. For example…”

I threw the tunic she liked over her head. It was too large and made her look lost in a sea of fabric.

“…if clothes are too big, they slow you down. Or if you’re cut open…”

I ran two of my fingers along the stretch of her forearm.

“…you‘ll need to know how to sew yourself up. There won’t always be a medic. And sometimes…”

I grabbed one of the diadems that the Sealord had sent and placed it on Arya’s head.

“…you see so much pain, hurt, and all these awful things, that it’s nice to have a pretty item once in a while. Like an embroidered sigil on your tunic.”

Arya looked perplexed at my words. She grabbed the diadem from her head and flipped it over.

“I thought stitching was just something they make girls do because they don’t want us to hold a sword.”

“That could be, but I found it was a useful skill on the battlefield. Ask your father, I had to stitch him up once or twice.”

“It was more of a daily occurrence,” Ned admitted.

Arya set the headpiece back into the trunk. She looked around the room, clearly on a mission to find something. I looked to Ned who had an amused smile on his face, his eyes following his daughter around the room.

“There’s needle and thread in one of the bags that Syrio brought on the boat. I saw them on the deck still when we came aboard.”

Arya thanked me and darted through the door. Syrio let out a chuckle.

“That girl really does want to accomplish anything she sets her mind to.”

“Tell me about the crew,” Ned changed the subject, taking a seat at the captain’s desk. I leaned against the front of the desk, Syrio standing in front of the both of us.

“I hand picked every man myself. When I wrote to the Sealord of Braavos I named each one of these workers. They are a good crew, but more so, they know how to keep a captain’s secrets.”

I nodded. I was happy with that answer. I trusted Syrio so if he said these men were good, I had no doubt about it.

“Syrio,” Ned said, “Andra told me that you fought off men that were after Arya, ready to lay down your life for her. You have my gratitude. The North owes you a great debt.”

“Thank you, Lord Stark.”

“Ned, please.”

“Very well. Thank you, Ned. If you’ll excuse me, I must go attack your daughter to teach her a lesson about always being prepared.”

Syrio bowed and left the room. I looked over my shoulder to see Ned. He appeared lost in thought, but not in a haunted way. He looked content. I’m sure seeing yourself get your head cut off would make you grateful for everything around you. I decided I’d let him enjoy his peace, so I made my way to a trunk that had caught my eye. It was full of books. I grabbed one before making my way to the main deck.

Jory was leaning against the rails, watching Arya and Syrio spar. I joined him, sliding to sit on the wooden deck. I leaned against one of the supports for the rails.

“Lady Cassandra,” Jory greeted.

“Glad to be out of the capital?”

“Absolutely. I’d ride straight North if that’s what Lord Stark wanted.”

I smiled and opened the book. It was a fictional Pentos adventure. While it kept my attention for the most part, I had to look away a few times when the sword lesson became heated. Arya was quick on her feet. Watching her reminded me of Jory’s earlier statement that Northerners were fast learners. Arya seemed to further prove that point.

After a little while, Ned appeared in a fresh change of clothes. He wore a black tunic and dark blue britches. Jory bowed when Ned approached us, but I just stared up at him. He plopped down next to me, tying his hair back with a cord in the traditional Northern style.

“That’s a different color pallet for you.”

“Bad?”

I responded with a shake of my head before returning to my reading.

“I think we should stop at Dragonstone first,” Ned stated after a few minutes of silence. “Stannis should know that the North means to back him.”

“It would be nice to send out a few ravens. I’d like for my brothers to know I’m alive. Jory, could you go inform whoever is at the wheel please?” As Jory walked away, I pulled a strand of my hair from my head and placed it in between the pages before closing the book.

“You still do that?”

“Only when I don’t have my ribbons.”

Ned regarded me with a thoughtful look.

“You haven’t change at all, Andra.”

“Bad?”

Ned’s small smile turned into an amused grin. He shook his head and placed his hand on my knee.

“No. I don’t associate you with bad ever.”

“There’s not one memory with me that leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth? Because of something I did; none of your self righteous ‘I hurt you in this way’ bullshit.”

“Alright, but you’re not allowed to hate me for it.”

“Tell me,” I practically begged. Ned had never once spoken ill of me in all the time that I knew him. I was eager to hear what I could have done to curdle his thoughts of me.

“Do you remember that time when we were trying to get information out of some Targaryen men about one of their camp locations and they were adamant about dying before they spoke? You ended up bringing in a hot iron and searing their skin until one finally confessed. I think that was the only time I’ve ever feared you. I suppose I didn’t know you had it in you to be unnecessarily cruel in that way.”

“In my defense,” I began, point an accusatory finger at him, “I had just been branded the week before by Targaryen soldiers.”

Ned’s eyebrows raised. “You never told me that.”

“To be fair, Ned, we didn’t speak much during the rebellion unless Robert was there to mediate. That night of the interrogation, he was elsewhere and I wanted answers. I’m man enough to admit that there was a small part of me that craved vengeance.”

“Will you show me the mark?”

“Before I do, I want you to know that I have made my peace with the horrors we saw during the rebellion. Every scar I bear made me stronger and I do not regret a single one of them. When I show you this, do not feel bad or guilty in any way. It happened and it is done.”

“I’m even more curious now,” Ned said with a grin.

I smiled and rose to my feet. I unlaced my britches and pulled one side down enough to show Ned the sigil that was forever part of me. Ned ran his fingers over the raised skin. It had been almost seventeen years; the touch on the wound didn’t feel any different from the rest of my skin. The sigil was burned on the side of my leg, right in the middle of the outer side of my left thigh.

“They… they put this on you? Why?”

“I guess they hadn’t heard you married Catelyn Tully,” I said with a shrug, pulled the fabric back up and lacing the cord. “Or perhaps they had and wanted to permanently humiliate me in some way. They kept calling me “The Wolf’s Bitch” when I was held in their camp. They almost got around to searing the three headed dragon too, but Robert had stormed their camp before they could finish heating the iron up.”

Ned reached his hand back out and ran his fingers over the fabric that covered the direwolf sigil branded into my skin.

“I would say the hot irons were necessary then,” he whispered.

Chapter Text

Dragonstone practically screamed of Stannis. The entire place felt cold and lifeless. I hadn’t been here in years, but nothing had changed. Except for the amount of people around; the area felt busier than normal, but the presence of people did not breathe life into the castle.

When we got off the boat, Ned and I were immediately met by soldiers. They wanted to know who we were, our purpose, all of the normal business. When I told them who I was and that I was there to see my brother, they immediately escorted us inside. They explained that it was evening, so Stannis was spending personal time in the War room.

His men seemed friendly enough; they looked happy. As we walked, I tried to keep track of the different sigils on armor and leather padding to see what houses Stannis had rallied behind him. Instead, everyone wore a sigil I did not recognize.

Surely he did not abandon the stag of House Baratheon?

When we made it to the doors of the war room, an old man greeted us. He dismissed the soldiers behind us. The man looked at both Ned and I before crossing his arms.

“King Stannis is not taking visitors at the present.”

I raised an eyebrow. This was surely a power play by my brother. He did always like reminding me that even though he was younger, he had the genitalia that put him before me according to the standards of society.

“He will meet with me,” I attempted to persuade the older gentleman.

“I’m sorry, but the King does not wish to see anyone.”

“I’m his sister; he’ll see me.”

The man just puffed out his chest with a large thoughtful breath. “And who’s that big man next to you?”

I looked up towards Ned. I had him cover his face with a scarf just in case Stannis had any spies in his midst. The only things visible to me were his eyes.

“My protection. Now let me in.”

“The King gave me orders. No visitors.”

Growing tired of the back and forth, I pushed myself forward and banged on Stannis’ door. The old man tried to grab me, but Ned put his body in between the two of us.

“STANNIS! This grumpy old man isn’t letting me come see my little brother!”

The door opened to reveal Stannis. I smiled and went to embrace him, but he held out an arm, keeping me at a distance by the shoulder. I stopped trying, knowing it was futile. Stannis had never welcome physical contact from me, even as a child.

“One day, Stannis, you’ll accept my affection.”

He just grunted and opened the door wide enough for Ned and I to slip in. He sat at the head of the table, gesturing to the seat across from him. I looked down at the darkened map of Westeros. He hadn’t placed any pieces or markers on the table- or he removed them when he heard me arguing with his guard.

“What are you doing here, Cassandra?”

“I came to see my brother,” I said, taking a seat and crossing my legs. “Look, I even wore a pretty dress because I know how much you care about propriety.”

“If you gave any shits about propriety, Cassandra, you wouldn’t have married your own brother and stolen Storm’s End from me.”

I smiled at the ground. He had started the combativeness early; normally I get at least a glass of wine in before he started bringing up Storm’s End. Stannis was truly a ball of joy to be around.

“I’m your elder, Brother. Storm’s End is mine by birthright. Robert recognized that fact.”

“And yet you had to marry a Baratheon with a cock that doesn’t work properly in order to claim your supposed ’birthright’. Tell me, how is that working out for you?”

I could feel Ned’s discomfort radiating from him.

“It’s been a perfect arrangement,” I lied with a smile plastered on my face. Robert, Renly, Ned, and I were the only people who knew the truth about my sham of a marriage. If we had told Stannis, we all knew he would only use the information to try to solidify his claim to Storm’s End.

“Is that so? From what I hear, Renly’s already claimed that he is king and you were nothing more than a pretty thing to look at. He told his followers that he never laid a hand on you. Without you around to thwart his claim, your marriage has been annulled. He’s looking for a true wife now.”

I kept the same sweet smile on my face. I had a feeling that would be Renly’s exact move once I heard he fled King’s Landing. You needed heirs to secure a throne and I was not the one to give him any.

I suppose I was overall relieved to find out I was no longer married to Renly, even if it was just for show. Although, I knew I had officially lost any claim to Storm’s End. Without Robert to set things straight, the people will rally behind Renly. He was the lord, after all. I suppose now he’s king. I the small vengeful part of me hoped everything would crumble. Renly was the face, but I was the one that kept track of the accounts, the coin, the people, and everything else. I would never wish harm on my baby brother. Humiliation was another thing entirely.

“Stannis, you’ve always been my third favorite brother, you know that?”

Stannis scoffed, pouring himself a glass of wine. He offered none to us. His eyes drifted behind me and studied Ned.

“Who is this? A guard or a lover?”

“Why not both,” I asked, holding my hands out in front of me, trying my hardest to keep the conversation lighthearted. I needed to get back to the topic of the war and the North.

Stannis smiled in a way that sent unpleasant chills down my spine.

“Ned Stark died and you finally found yourself a cock to sit on? What hurt more? The deflowering or knowing that the only man you truly loved never cared enough to fuck you. He would have had to marry you, you know? If he ruined you, Robert would have made him marry you. Maybe if you were more desirable you would have had your seat as the Lady of Winterfell. Or any seat, really. You can’t even claim Storm’s End as home anymore. How far the mighty Cassandra Baratheon has fallen. You’re just a chubby, docile woman who doesn’t even have her virtue to lean on as a bartering chip.”

That was the moment my forced smile finally dropped. I could feel my blood beginning to heat. My nails dug in to wood of the chair I sat on and I bit the inside of my mouth so hard that I drew blood. I was tempted to throw one of my daggers at him. Not to hurt him, just to see him have any reaction in his eyes other than the cold and soulless void I always stared into. Instead, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Stannis, I came to talk to you about the North.”

“You expect me to speak to you about the war efforts? You are nothing but some of Father’s seed that made it to the womb first.”

Ned moved forward, but I put my hand out to let him know that I could handle a few harsh words.

“Just a few days ago I was boasting of your character, Brother. I see now that I was mistaken. I don’t believe there is a world in which even the most efficient small council could market you as a likable individual.”

Stannis stayed silent and leaned back in his chair. He stared at me a long while before he raised his glass to his lips and downed the rest in one go.

“Robert truly loved you, you know that? He loved you so much that he had none left for Renly and me. I suppose I have always hated you for that, Cassandra. It does bring me some joy to see you finally knocked off the high horse Robert provided for you.”

His words stung. Robert was my protector, Renly my emotional support, and I never relied on Stannis. He was still my brother though; nothing would change that.

But, fucking hells, he truly is the worst person to talk to.

“I love you, Stannis. I might not show it in the same way that I showed Robert and Renly, but you must remember that you have always pushed me out. You cannot blame me for your folly.”

“Cassandra, I believe it is time for you to get back on that boat you came in on and leave. I have no need for your support; you have nothing to offer. As for the North, the Stark boy will die if he does not bend the knee, same as our pathetic brother.”

“Bend the knee? The boy knows you are next in line to the throne. He wouldn’t pledge himself to Renly or Joffrey.”

“You haven’t heard? The boy proclaims himself ‘King in the North’. He means to fight for the North’s independence once more.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“You speak true?”

Stannis only grinned.

“And Renly? Would you truly kill our little brother?”

“I will cut down anyone that contests my claim to the throne. Even Renly. Even you.”

I looked back toward Ned. We seemed to share the same thought:

The North will not bend to Stannis.

There was a slight knock on the door and the old man stuck his head in.

“Melisandre is here to see you, Your Grace.”

“Send her in. Cassandra, this has been… Well, this conversation took place. You can go now. Maybe Renly will offer you shelter seeing as all you’ve ever known is how to hide behind your brothers.”

I stood, biting my lip. There was no point in arguing with the stoic man. He would have it his way; there was no room for negotiation with Stannis. Clearly, he would not see reason.

“You are nothing but a bitter shell of a man, Stannis.”

He let out an icy laugh.

“I am also the rightful king.”

“May I at least meet my niece? You’ve never allowed me to see her.”

“Go, Cassandra. Go crawl into whatever hole you can find. Take whatever sorry excuse of a lover you found with you. Maybe he’ll hold Ned Stark’s decapitated head in front of his own so you can pretend you’re in love with the man who buries his cock inside of you.”

That was the final straw for me. Stannis had always been cold, but the cruelty he showed me now was different. I was not going to leave with him thinking he had won.

“It’s funny, Brother, that you speak as coldly to me as you do. When Robert was alive, you never would have dared. Tell me, did you truly hate him or were you just a frightened coward? I bled, had my skin burned, even faced starvation for him; what scars do you bear? I fought; you told troops what to do. I paid the price for Storm’s End- I earned it. You got this empty stone fortress as a consolation prize because I told Robert to give it to you.”

“Get. Out.”

I turned to leave when I caught sight of Stannis’ visitor. She wore a sultry red dress and an intricate chain around her neck with a giant red stone attached. I immediately knew all I needed to about her. Glancing back at my brother, my stomach churned as I saw the way he looked at her. I hurried from the room, Ned right behind me. The old man shut the door behind us, leaving my brother with that woman. I turned to the old man.

“Does he truly follow a new god? The Lord of Light?”

The old man looked away, giving me my answer.

“Well, none of that went to plan,” I muttered as Ned and I boarded the ship once more.

“We need to get to Robb quickly. If he tries to go up against Renly, Stannis, and Joffrey, he will lose and the North will be ruined,” Ned growled. “I thought I taught him better than this.”

I turned, placing my hand on Ned’s bicep. “When someone we love dies, we do stupid things. Show him some grace.”

Ned just grunted and continued walking. Arya ran into his arms the second she saw him. She had been so worried when she heard Ned was getting off the boat and leaving her behind. Ned returned her embrace, lifting her off her feet and squeezing hard, rocking her from side to side while her feet dangled. She let out a childish giggle and held out her arms.

Witnessing that moment was the first time I’ve ever had my womb scream at me to let a man impregnate me. It felt like the organ was contracting  and threatening to stay that way until I had Ned’s cock buried inside me. It hurt badly in a way I hadn’t experienced before. I was so shocked by the sensation that I looked down, glaring at my own body.

What in the hells?

Trying to ignore the feeling, I walked over to Syrio.

“We need to get to Robb Stark.”

“It’ll have to be on horseback.”

“So be it. I’ll be in the captain’s quarters. Come get me if you need anything. I think my body needs rest.”

Syrio nodded, eyeing me carefully. I could tell he was concerned about my wellbeing. I gave him a reassuring smile before retreating to my quarters. I had offered the room to Arya but she had insisted on sleeping on the lower deck ‘like Syrio does’ so it had just been me alone.

Once in the spacious room, I began putting out candles. Sleep had been easier for me since rescuing Ned from the Black Cells. Though, I had a suspicion that my conversation with Stannis would rattle around in my brain that night.

Robert had usually been there to meditate between Stannis and I. Stannis held no love for Robert or Renly, but he always seemed to outwardly dislike me, even before Robert named Renly and I as Lord and Lady of Storm’s End. This was the first conversation where I truly saw my brother for what he was: a total prick.

After trying to sleep with no signs of rest, I began pacing the room. There was so much in my brain that any time I tried to single in on a thought, my mind became blank.

“Andra?”

“Come in,” I responded as I contemplated banging my forehead on one of the wooden posts of the bed.

The door opened and closed quietly. The others must have sleeping by then. I didn’t bother turning around, there was only one person it would be. I ended up trying to bang my head just to see if it would help.

“That looked like it hurt,” Ned teased, coming up behind me.

“Not enough. Gods, I can’t stop thinking. My head won’t stop pounding. Worst of all, I couldn’t even tell you what I was thinking about,” I complained. “It’s just a thought that connects to another and then another and it’s a never ending cycle.”

“Maybe I could be of assistance,” Ned whispered in my ear before softly biting it. I finally turned to face Ned.

Before I could say anything, he captured my lips in his own. I froze for just a moment. My brain paused and then finally silenced itself. Then there was only Ned.

Desperate for any channel to release my pent up emotions, I grabbed his shoulders and pulled myself up to have a better angle. I bit his lip, harder than I normally would. There was a short moment when he let out the smallest gasp of pain.

I took the opportunity to slide my tongue against his. Ned moaned and grabbed the back of my head, pulling my hair so that he had the better angle. We wrestled for dominance, but even a Baratheon knows when they’ve been beat. I submitted myself to Ned, allowing him to lead our dance.

He pulled on my hair enough to break our kiss. I whined at the loss of contact. Clearly the sound went straight to his cock, because his eyes darkened to the deep shade of grey that reminded me of mornings after battles when ash and fog mixing together to hide the evidence of what had taken place.

“I will not take you tonight,” Ned confessed. “Although, fuck everything your brother said. I never took you because you deserved to have the proper wedding night. I am sorry I never gave that to you.”

I bit my lip. I could not be bothered to feel disappointed. Instead, anticipation creeped into every fiber of my being. I ran my hands along the tunic covering his muscular arms.

“I suppose there’s only one question then. What are your intentions, Lord Stark?”

I nearly squealed when Ned bent down, lifted me by the thighs. and tossed me backwards. I landed on the mattress, hooked my legs around his waist, and pulled him close. The dress I was wearing slid up to my thighs, revealing the direwolf sigil.

“This,” Ned said, leaning to place a kiss on the raised skin, “might be one of the most tantalizing sights in the world. I despise how you received it, truly, but I will not lie to you. Seeing the Stark Sigil-my mark- on you is absolutely thrilling.”

I bent my leg and used my knee to move his chin so that his gaze met mine. Ned smiled up at me with a devilish grin. My inner walls clenched around nothing at the sight.

“Do you remember how a Northern lord kisses,” he asked lightly dragging his teeth over my kneecap.

As if I could ever forget.

“No,” I lied, “must not have been worth remembering.”

Ned caught onto my teasing quickly and let out a playful growl before spreading my legs apart by my knees. His eyes followed the scar that ran upwards beginning at my right knee. Instead of skipping over it like I thought he would, he placed the flat of his tongue at one end and trailed it all the way to the other, which was dangerously close to where I wanted him.

When his lips finally reached my core, I was lost to utter bliss.

Chapter Text

The transition from sea to horseback played out smoothly. The port we landed at had horses to spare for a reasonable price. With each of us carrying a full coin purse we began our journey.

My heart hurt as I thought of Snowfall. I hoped she was well in the capital. I didn’t see a reason for Cersei to harm her, which is why I hadn’t risked returning to the keep for her. There was a slim a chance the Baratheon horse master took her back to Storm’s End with Renly, which I knew she would be well taken care of there.

No matter what happened, I did not believe I’d see the beautiful spotted mare again.

We were constantly riding, only stopping in a town three or four times. We had all taken to wearing face coverings just in case anyone tried to single Ned out during our travels. This way it appears more as a lifestyle choice of the group rather than trying to hide one person’s face. Arya thought the concept of disguises was exciting, even if it was just a head scarf. She had asked Syrio if he had ever worn something similar, which resulted in him had telling her every tale he had concerning scarves and disguises.

It took nearly a fortnight to reach the Riverlands. When the horses needed rest, we would swap them out at the next town we came to. At night, we would tie the horses together and one of us would lead the herd through the night so the others could sleep. Throughout the late hours, Arya would normally ride with Ned or myself so one of us could keep her secure in her seat while she rested. Other than that, the girl held her own pretty well. Poor thing had toughed it out, but by the way she frequently wiggled in her saddle, I knew she’d been having discomfort for the past three days. Though, she never once made a complaint. I could tell each of us were proud of her for her strength and sheer willpower to keep up with four grown veteran warriors.

Ned was silent for most of our journey. When he thought no one was looking, I would watch him get lost in his own thoughts, probably worried about his family, his bannermen, his lands, and the realm’s future. I did not blame him; I often lost myself thinking the same.

It was clear the war was no longer avoidable. My brothers were never going to come to a compromise. Stannis was on the brink of madness and Renly was too influenced by the people around him. Neither would bend the knee to the other; there would have to be a victor. There was no way the North would align themselves with either Cersei or Joffrey Lannister.

I wondered if Ned would continue the path his boy began. I knew that he had no inclination to rule Westeros, but ruling just the North might be something the man would consider. The larger question to me was if the current King in the North would step down willingly. What would the young boy do when his father showed up?

Eventually, Syrio spotted smoke and he pointed it out to us. Several columns ascended from behind a distant tree line. We altered our course just slightly, heading a little more to the west. We knew we were taking a chance that this was not a Northern military camp, but we had little choice. Wandering through the Riverlands aimlessly would not do us much good.

“Do we trust the loyalty of every man,” Jory asked as we neared what was most definitely a Northern military camp by the amount of Stark banners that were flying. “Or do we wait to see the king before pulling down our scarves?”

“Wait until we are alone with Robb,” Ned commanded. “My time at the capital taught me that I was foolish to think that men valued honor above all else. I will not make the same mistakes.”

There was a silent understanding that we would take Ned’s lead. I reached out to grab Arya’s reins and guided her horse closer to my own. She looked up at me with questioning eyes.

“Don’t these men follow my father,” she asked in a hushed whisper. “I don’t need to fear them.”

“Possibly. War changes everyone,” I explained in the same quiet tone. “Someone who would not want the North independent, such as Cersei, may have reached out and offered Winterfell to any bannerman who would spy on and help destroy the Northern forces. That’s quite a prize and if a man’s loyalty is to riches and wealth it is an easy choice to make.”

Arya began to glare at the military camp. I smiled; she was a quick learner. I could tell she would make an excellent warrior one day, if she so chose. As we rode closer to our destination, I pointed out different structures and explained what they were to the girl. Arya listened to everything I had to say, nodding after each explanation.

Two riders came towards us while we were still a ways away from the edge of the camp. One flew a Bolton banner while the other wore the sigil of House Karstark. Once we closed in on each other, one called out:

“Who goes there?”

“My companions and I are here to see the King of the North,” Ned said. Disapproval clung to each of his words. Maybe he wouldn’t want to rule the North…

The soldiers laughed.

“You believe that you can simply ride into a military camp and see the king? State your name.”

“I will introduce my group only to the king himself.”

“You obviously do not understand the process of seeing king. See, you tell us who you are and what you want and then we decide if your business is worth the king’s time.”

The soldier that wasn’t speaking, the one with the banner, began weaving himself through our group. He walked past the men and came to stand next to Arya. He reached out a hand to grab her roughly by the neck as he spoke. She let out a small scream.

“I say we kill the men and have fun with these two. I’ll take the little one-“

He was off his horse in a matter of seconds, my largest dagger digging into his throat as I pinned him to the ground. Blood began to drip onto the blade. The man gulped.

“Lay a hand on her again,” I threatened, “and I will rip you apart worse than a pack of rabid hounds would.”

The Carstark soldier rode over and grabbed me by the cloak. He angrily pulled me up towards him, removed the scarf from my face, and struck me across the cheek so hard that I stumbled a step backwards. He grunted and pushed me towards my horse. I could feel tears welling up as a reaction to the pain, but I blinked them away as the skin burned.

As I grabbed the reins to my horse, I met Ned’s eyes; they held such a ferocity that I hadn’t seen since the rebellion. This was the look that justified House Stark’s direwolf sigil. This was the look of a predator. The last time I saw that look in his eyes, he killed a man so gruesomely that I had been sick afterwards.

He had caught that particular Lannister man trying to take advantage of me. I could only imagine what he’d do to someone who had touched his daughter with ill intentions.

“Attacking a Northern soldier will get you killed,” he taunted. “State your business and I might let you off with one strike as a warning.”

Ned tried to move his horse towards me protectively, but the banner holder pointed the sharp end of the pole that he wielded directly at Ned’s heart.

“My name is Cassandra Baratheon, Lady of Storm’s End, and sister to the late King Robert. I will see King Robb immediately.”

I took the chance that the news of my annulment hadn’t reached the Northern troops.

The soldiers looked at each other for a minute. It appeared that they were having a silent argument about what to do. The Karstark man turned back towards me.

“My apologies, Lady Baratheon. Please, follow us,” he said through gritted teeth.

I mounted my horse once again, leaving the scarf down. I wanted everyone to see the mark that their soldier imprinted on my face. We continued riding, this time with escorts. Arya looked up at me once more.

“I want to be like you when I grow up. Everyone told me all my life that I had to be a lady and do lady things but you’re a lady and you do what you want.”

I smiled. The kid was winning my heart over, that was certain.

We were led to the largest tent in the camp. As we neared, I could not help anticipate the decision that Ned would make. Jory must have been curious as well because I noticed his eyes often drifting towards his liege lord. I stayed close to Arya, situating myself on the right side of her so that I was on the outskirt of our small traveling party. Syrio guarded her other side.

We dismounted and I pulled down my cloak. The Karstark man ducked into the tent first. It was only a few minutes before he came back out and held the tent flap open for us to enter. I kept a protective arm around Arya as we did so, glaring at the soldier who had touched her. I didn’t need to glance down to know that she was mirroring my angry stare.

Once we were in the tent, I was surprised at how many people were already inside. I recognized a few such as Jory’s uncle, the Greyjoy boy, Rickard Karstark, Catelyn, and, of course, the proclaimed King of the North. Robb stood when we entered. I saw all the faces around us and realized Ned was right to not trust them immediately. Many of them were staring at us with hard Northern gazes.

I suppose a Baratheon coming to a Northern camp unannounced is cause for alarm.

“Your grace,” I said with a curtsy, “my name is Cassandra Baratheon. I am-“

“I know who you are,” Robb responded coldly. “I don’t know what you want.”

“I was hoping for a private audience,” I requested. Robb let out an icy chuckle.

“What reason do I have to trust you? How do I know one of your brothers didn’t send you to kill me?”

Well, that’s fair.

“What if they sent me here to negotiate for peace?”

“Then you could share those terms with everyone in the room. I will have no secrets between me and those that fight for me.”

I bit my tongue. He was a smart boy.

“I’m not here on behalf of my brothers. I came on my own accord. Your father meant a great deal to me; I would never harm a hair on any of his children’s heads.”

Robb stared at me for a long moment. To my utter surprise, it was Catelyn who spoke next.

“If I may, Ned once stated that he trusted you with each of his children’s lives, something he could not say about many. I believe her intentions are pure, Your Grace.”

I tried to keep the shock off of my face. Her voice was cold and held no emotion, but I was still astounded. There was not a lifetime in which I would have predicted Catelyn Stark would defend me. I bowed my head towards her in thanks. Robb regarded his mother for a moment before nodding.

“If my father put that much trust in you, so shall I. Do not make me regret this, Lady Baratheon. Give us the room.”

Everyone started filing out. When Catelyn attempted to walk out past me, I quickly grabbed her wrist. She snatched her arm back in what was almost disgust.

“Do not mistake that one act of kindness as familiarity. You will not touch me again.”

“My apologies, Lady Stark, but I firmly believe you should stay for this conversation.”

Intrigue fell over Catelyn’s features. Regardless of any suspicion, the woman went to stand next to her son’s side. Once the tent was cleared, I nodded to Jory and Syrio. They both took positions by the door.

“I thought this conversation was to be held in private, Lady Baratheon,” Robb called out. I turned back to him with a small smile, nodding towards his father.

Ned lowered his cloak and pulled down the scarf that was covering everything under his eyes. Robb took a step back in alarm and Cat let out a gasp. Arya, after registering her father’s actions, quickly followed suit.

“Arya,” Cat exclaimed, quickly stepping the few paces forward and pulling her daughter into her arms. Arya held on to her tightly.

“F-father? How is this possible?”

Ned embraced his son. Robb squeezed his father with much enthusiasm. I watched as the King of the North quickly became a young boy who was safe in the arms of his father. His face softened, shedding the stress that clearly hung over his head. I saw as part of a family was reunited. Father, mother, son, and daughter. I knew it was only a matter of time until the other children were reunited as well. My heart clenched at the realization that this was something I would likely never have. I also realized that this family’s biggest strength was the love they all shared for each other.

Taking in the wholesome sight before me, I knew my next course of action.

I smiled to myself as I walked towards the front flap of the tent. Jory eyed me warily as I approached, his scarf also pulled down by then. I walked past him, but he quickly fell into step at my side. It had started to rain when we were inside the tent. It was only a light sprinkling of raindrops, but my smile widened all the same. Growing up in Storm’s End, one learns to love the rain.

“My lady?”

I knew what he was silently asking.

“I’ve done what I came to do, Jory. It’s time I find my place in Westeros without Robert’s help.”

“I think you should stay. Lord Stark would want you to.”

The second part he said in the lowest of whispers. I almost didn’t hear him.

“Jory, I know you’re more perceptive than most; I’m positive it’s one of the reasons that you’re captain of Ned’s guard. You see my feelings for your lord-“

“And I see his feelings for you,” Jory cut me off.  “He would not want you to leave.”

It was uncharacteristic of him to interrupt me. The man has always used proper titles and stuck to the formal ways of speaking to a high born lord or lady. The only exception was the time I returned with Ned, when his relief outweighed his respect for titles.

“I have loved Ned since the moment I first saw him. However since Brandon died, I’ve known that he is not mine to have. I was so foolish to let my resolve crumble during our time together in the capital. I cannot ruin what he has in that tent. Stannis made a comment about me always hiding behind my brothers. It’s time I go make my own way; find my own home. Tell Syrio to give the gifts from the Sea Lord to whichever king the North aligns themselves with. It is what I was planning to do with it all.”

“Lady Bara-“

“Oh! And make sure Ned keeps Syrio on as Arya’s sword instructor. He tells me that she makes a wonderful student. She’ll learn a lot from him.”

“Lady-“

“Also, I told Clegane to take Sansa to Winterfell. Make sure Ned knows that and keeps trustworthy men in the castle. I promised him his brother’s head and I have doubts that Beric Dondarion was successful with bringing him to face the king’s justice. If Ned lets him fight by his side until he has the chance to kill the Mountain himself, he will be satisfied.”

I smiled softly and turned to continue towards our horses. Jory did not make to follow, but he called out after me:

“Lady Baratheon, I insist that you at least tell him you’re leaving. He would not want to hear the words from me.”

I closed my eyes and ignored him. Jory didn’t deserve to be the one to tell Ned I had left; he had been so good to me since I met him. However, I knew if I tried, one pleading look from Ned for me to stay and I would . So instead, I continued walking, trying to look in control of myself and my emotions. I pulled my cloak over my head and found my horse. I quickly mounted the mare and made my way out of the Northern camp.

Walking away from Ned was no easier now than before. When I left the night he asked me to meet him in the Godswood, nearly eighteen years ago, I had been driven by the thought of rejection, knowing he would choose honor and duty over the love we shared. Now, I walked his path, choosing honor and duty over allowing our love to come between his family. I learned that it was not an easy choice to make. It was the right thing to do, but just because I made it, it did not mean the choice did not hurt. The knife still pierced my heart, turning and digging deeper. Once I made it past the gate, I allowed myself to shed the tears that were begging to fall.

Chapter Text

Ned

I could not be sure how much time passed as I held my son. I eventually let go of Robb and turned to Cat. She wrapped her arms around my middle. I did the same, placing a small kiss to her forehead.

The first thing I noticed- besides the lack of seemingly permanent scent of lavender-was how she was smaller than Andra. Andra held some weight on her while Cat usually kept her frame thin. I mentally chastised myself. I knew better than to compare the two women.

Although, I could not deny the way my arms felt emptier.

“We need to talk,” I told Cat in a low tone. I felt her sigh against me. She pulled away to look up at me.

“I think there is much to catch up on. For now, allow me a moment to be happy that my husband is alive with his head still attached.”

I mentally cursed myself once more. Of course her concerns would lie with my wellbeing. She thought I had lost my head. Empathy was never my strong suit, but I was sure that her seeing me was equivalent to seeing a ghost.

“Father, you must tell us what has happened,” Robb insisted. “How are you alive? There have been reports people who said they witnessed your head cut cleanly off.”

I smiled warmly.

“You can thank Andr-“

I stopped short when I opened my arm to gesture towards the woman and she wasn’t there. I met Jory’s eyes as he entered the tent. I had not realized he left. The sorrow he held in his eyes told me everything I needed to know.

She’s gone.

I immediately made towards the entrance of the tent. I pulled up my face scarf, still weary of everyone that was not my blood. I signaled for Jory and Syrio to stay put.

“Ned,” I heard Cat’s voice call out.

I paused midway out the door. I refused to look behind me. I knew what was going to come out next and I wasn’t sure if I could hide the irritation on my face.

“We’ve just reunited and you’re going to chase after that woman?”

That woman. She had always referred to Andra as ‘that woman’. I had always respected the fact that Cat believed that Brandon was the better Stark than brother and I was not her first choice, but she could never return the courtesy. Part of me held that against her.

I was thankful for Cat, I truly was. She mothered five beautiful children for me and raised them well. We had learned to love each other, in some way. I had always felt it was more friendship than any form of romantic feelings. We were friends doing our duties as the heads of the Stark household. I had resolved to living this life devoid of the kind of love that drives a man mad.

That is, until Cassandra Baratheon made her way to Winterfell months before. The moment I saw her behind Robert, the floodgates had opened and all the memories I had of our time together resurfaced. She was the one person I had loved in the way that makes men wage wars. She was the one person that made me feel loved in the same way.

I had let her slip through my fingers.

I knew that this was an important choice that Cat was putting in front of me, just like she had when she asked if I was following ‘that woman’ to King’s Landing. My mind was at war with my heart. I knew that I should stay; I should set the example of a good husband for my son. But then I thought of Andra’s laughter- from the small shy giggles to the drunken laughter when sound stopped coming out entirely and she clutched her middle in joyous discomfort.

Cersei’s words rang in my ear like a mantra, repeating themselves over and over: You’re just a soldier, aren’t you?

It took one question for me to make my decision: Could I truly live a life without hearing Andra’s laughter ever again?

I would not let Cassandra Baratheon slip from me again.

I pushed my way past Jory.

“East,” he whispered as I did.

Even in the rain, I found our horses easily and swung myself into the saddle. I grabbed hold of the reins and led my mount out of the camp and to the East. I squeezed his sides, willing him to pick up speed. It wasn’t long until I found fresh tracks in the mud. I followed them and found my target in a matter of minutes. Once I saw her position I made a wide curve around her, wanting- needing- to see her face in that moment. I smiled as I watched her. I am sure I looked like a child receiving their favorite sweet, but I could not bring myself to care.

Andra was sitting in her saddle, arms open wide and head tilted back, allowing the rain to fall onto her. Her horse stood still as she let the rain fall on her body. Her brown hair looked darkened due to the water soaking into her locks. The very ends were touching the rear of her horse with her head titled that way whereas normally her hair came to rest in the middle of her back. Her brown eyes were closed, but I could still see her joy emanating from her face. Her lips were parted ever so slightly in a grin, making her entire being look inviting.

She was the absolute embodiment of beauty both inside and out.

I led my horse forward, trying desperately not to stare at the sheer fabric clinging to her skin. Resisting the urge to take her to bed was hard enough when she was covered head to toe. If I allowed myself to focus on the curves of her breasts and hips, I would lose all resolve.

My mind drifted to the night when we were first announced to be wed within the upcoming months. We had been betrothed at a young age. I was the first Stark child to have a match arranged. Brandon was the heir, Lyanna destined to be matched to an heir, and Benjen was the younger of us. The day my father told me I would be betrothed to Andra, one of my closest friends, I had been elated. I was only twelve at the time, she had been ten.

It wasn’t until we were older, seventeen and fifteen, that my parents set a date for us to be wed. Her parents had passed the year after our betrothal, so my parents had complete control over the wedding plans. They had wanted to wait until they found Brandon and Lyanna’s matches before focusing on a wedding celebration. Andra had been in Winterfell at the time of the announcement. My siblings had been elated. Brandon, caught in the throws of his own betrothal, had bid us a heartfelt congratulations. Lyanna had immediately wanted to start designing Andra’s dress. Benjen was excited to be an uncle.

I remember sneaking into the Winterfell cellars with Andra, Lyanna, and Benjen. We had all been drinking, swapping stories, and playing games. We had let ourselves get too drunk and when Brandon found us he threatened to tell our parents unless we all went to bed then and there. So I led Andra to her room as I always did, but when she asked her nightly question about my intentions, I captured her lips in my own. It hadn’t been our first kiss, but it had been different in some way. I remembered pulling away, watching her eyes become dark with what I now know as lust, and signaling for me to go through the secret hole connecting our rooms. Once in there, I had pulled her into my arms, kissing any skin I could find. She had let me undress her, taking layers off so quickly that I ripped a few garments. I remembered how beautiful she looked, the Northern moon and stars lighting up her naked body. I remembered her at the head of the bed, waiting for me with desperate eyes.

It was the sight of her looking so utterly ravishing that sobered me. I knew that she deserved better than to be fucked while we were both drunk off our arses. I left her with a kiss, promising that I would give her the wedding night of her dreams. Perhaps Stannis was right. Perhaps if I had been a weaker man, we would have had our life together. Before our wedding took place, Lyanna ran off with Rhaegar, Father and Brandon died, and Jon Arryn insisted that I married Catelyn Tully. It wasn’t until years later that I asked him why he and Mother were so adamant and he explained that Catelyn was the better political match since Robert and Lyanna were also betrothed. He felt that we did not need two ties to the Baratheons. I remember losing just a little love for the man that day.

I sat in the saddle, lost in my own mind as I had been more and more in the recent weeks. I came back to reality as I neared Andra. She only opened her eyes once I was next to her, our horses facing opposite directions. I pulled down the fabric covering my face.

“Go back to the camp, Ned,” she said as if she knew I’d come riding after her. “Go back to your family.”

I reached out my hand, grasping her squared chin firmly, but only so much so that she felt my conviction.

“No. You do not get to walk away anymore, Andra,” I commanded. “You especially do not get to leave me without saying goodbye ever again.”

She shut her eyes in the way she always did when she was trying to figure out the next thing to say. Her ability for patience was a stark difference between her and her hotheaded brother, Robert.

“I can’t stay, Ned. We have no business exploring our feelings for one another. You have a wife and family. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“Arya simply adores you. Jon told me before he left that he wished you had been his mother. You have someone protecting Sansa. I remember you walking into the Godswood every day when Bran fell. I know Rickon will-“

She held out a hand. I stopped speaking immediately, my deep need to please her taking over.

“Stop, Ned. I do not want to tear your household apart. I do not need your children to approve of me. I am not trying to be a new mother to them. We had our time at the capital. Let that be enough.”

It would never be enough to quell the raging fire that burned in my heart for her. It was never a want that I had pushed aside for nearly two decades; it had always been a need. A need to hold her, a need to make her smile, and if I hadn’t fallen to Mother and Jon Arryn’s pressure, a need to build a life and make a home together.

I moved my hand from her chin to her cheek. I pulled her towards me gently, fighting the urge to lift her from her saddle and onto my lap.

“You, Cassandra Baratheon, are one of the most hypocritical people I’ve ever met.”

Her eyes popped open in an angry glare. She pulled her face out of my hand and leaned back. I smiled at her reaction; it was exactly what I expected.

“What did you just say to me?”

“You call me stubborn almost every other conversation. Look at you, still fighting this. Fighting us. I know I made a mistake the day I chose honor of my own heart. I will spend the rest of my days fighting for us, not against us.”

“Ned, there is no us.”

“You’re wrong, Andra. I firmly believe in my soul that we have always been and always will be tied to each other. You are constantly on my mind, like a plague that I cannot be rid of. Every kiss feels as though I can finally breathe again. I don’t want to live without the feelings you give me ever again. You’re my peace, my safety, and most of all, you are my courage to be the man I want to be. I know that with you by my side, we will survive this upcoming war. I’d be a dead man five times over if it wasn’t for you. How many times did I come to your rescue during the rebellion? We always survived. Andra, as long as we are together, we will be okay.”

Andra closed her eyes again as I spoke. The water around us had turned from a light drizzle to a rainstorm. Thunder had began rolling loudly in the distance, so I was practically yelling these words at her. Though I knew she was trying to remain neutral in her expression, the smallest of curves hit her lips. I brought my hand to her face once more, running my thumb along her upturned lips.

“If I stay, Ned, it will have to be different. I won’t be a romantic partner. I’ll stand by your side as only a friend.”

My stomach dropped at her words. I knew her reasoning had to do with my family. Gods, her sensitivity only gave me more reason to love her- clearly I lacked the skill myself. It was as though every action she made or word she spoke threw another log onto the fire she lit in my heart.

Yes, part of me felt guilty about wanting to pursue Andra at the risk of my family. Yet the other part of me knew that what Cat and I had would never satisfy me. Additionally, I never said I would stop being a father; I never said I would stop providing for Catelyn. I just wanted to do something for me. And for once in my life, I didn’t care if I was being selfish.

“If that is the price we must pay to stay together, then so be it.”

Her brown eyes were shiny with tears when she reopened them. I stared a long while, not being able to take my gaze away. It was as though she had five different shades of brown dancing around her irises, creating a beautiful pattern that was unique to her.

“Let’s go back before you get sick,” I recommended, grabbing her reins and pulling her horse around to walk next to my own. If I could not hold her hand, this would have to be good enough.

We made it back to the camp slowly, neither of us in a rush to break the peace we felt next to each other. I pulled up my scarf and hood, while she kept hers down. Jory was waiting for us as we returned. He had a knowing smile when he saw Cassandra with me.

Jory was an anomaly to me. He had always been the best of the best, quickly climbing the ranks to become the captain of my household guard. I knew he loved my children as well as being fiercely protective of them. I had a suspicion that extended to even Jon. However, he had never been the friendliest with Catelyn. When I tried to ask her about it she simply said he was too ‘Northern’ for her liking. I always felt that Jory was similar to myself, so that comment had hurt initially. That was until I realized truly how much Cat hated the North. I always wondered if she would have been happier there with Brandon; maybe I hadn’t made it enough of a home for her.

However, with Andra, Jory was completely different. He regarded her with the same respect he had for me. As we’ve spent the last few months together, I observed him smiling and joking with her. They often took meals together. I remember catching them sparring once or twice when I gave Jory his leave. I noticed he had stopped announcing her arrival, simply opening the door for her. He’d always told me when Cat had arrived, even when she was coming into our bedchambers for the night. I truly believed he had formed a friendship with Andra, which is why I had sent him alone to find her the day Robert died. I knew if anyone was going to keep her safe, it would be Jory Cassel.

He helped Andra off of her horse and wrapped a large woven blanket around her shoulders. As my feet hit the ground, I looked over to him. He gave me a look that communicated his relief to see the both of us. I nodded at him, always thankful he was part of my household.

He led Andra and I back to the main tent. Syrio was still there with Arya, watching as she spoke to Robb and told him of all the things she learned in the capital. Syrio had also surprised me. The first night on the boat he secured I had asked him why he stuck around. He simply said that I still paid him and Cassandra was an old friend. During our weeks together, I realized it was more than that; he was unwaveringly loyal to Andra and fiercely protective of Arya.

When I stepped into the tent, I immediately saw that Cat looked cold and irritated, which did not surprise me. I knew when I waked out of the tent I was only driving the wedge between us further down. Guilt ate away at me, but one glance at Andra justified my actions. Well, they were justified to me; I don’t believe Cat would share the sentiment. Robb greeted me again and we all sat down around the table.

“Would you like me to gather your bannermen, Father?”

“Tell me, Robb, do you trust them?”

He looked confused. “They pledged their loyalty to you, Father?”

“Aye, but do you trust them?”

My son nodded. “I do. They only named me King of the North because of what we all believed happened to you. They’ll want you to lead.”

I looked to Andra for her counsel. She shrugged.

“It’s possible that you being alive will have the opposite effect. Robb’s young, and no offense to you, Your Grace, but easily influenced. They may feel that they’re more in control of the situation with him as King.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Cat argued, defending our boy.

“I truly mean no offense, but had Lord Stark been in Robb’s shoes he would have never made the North independent. We have proof of that from when his own father died. Instead of separating the kingdoms, Lord Stark simply fought to put someone just on the Iron Throne. The North has been well since Robert’s rein began, hasn’t it?”

“Aye,” I affirmed.

“But when we gave up the North we had bent the knee to the dragons, but the dragons are all dead!”

I squinted at my son.

“Is that what they told you, boy? That Torrhen Stark bent the knee just because Aegon the Conqueror and his sisters had large scary dragons? He bent the knee because his people were being slaughtered. He sacrificed his claim to the kingdom so to spare each Northern man and woman. Now the North faces war against Stannis, Joffrey, and Renly. We don’t have the men to fight against three kings and their armies. Our people will be slaughtered once more.”

“We’ve won three battles-“

“Three battles is nothing,” I spat. “Stay humble, Robb, otherwise you’ll be blinded by your own folly.”

“It’s better than losing three battles like Tywin.”

“Tywin is only fighting with his bannermen. Once the other two turn their attention to the North we are lost.”

“Unless they turn to King’s Landing first,” Robb argued. “No one can claim themselves as king until they have the throne.”

“No, but once they have the throne, they’ll have all the houses that reside under the throne. They’ll have one single enemy left.”

“And,” Arya chirped in, “that’s in the scenario that all Northern men stay loyal and no one takes the offer of the seat of Winterfell that whichever king promised them. Then we’ll have discourse in our own ranks.”

I raised an eyebrow and exchanged a glance with Andra. I had heard her explaining some military and political tactics on our way to the camp. Clearly, my little girl had been paying attention. My heart swelled with pride for her.

“Aye,” I said, nodding to her in approval. Arya saw but instead looked to Andra for her approval. Andra leaned over and whispered her own affirmation which caused Arya to beam.

Robb nodded, understanding the gravity of it all.

“Do you have a war council,” I asked him.

He shook his head.

“All the lords just gather and give me advice.”

I once again looked to Andra. She had been right; they were trying to influence him. My being alive may not be accepted warmly. Andra gave me a small comforting smile that communicated her thoughts.

As long as we are together, we will be okay.

“Very well. If you trust them, Robb, let us gather and discuss our next step together.”

Chapter Text

Ned

I had left the tent to get a change of garments that more suited a Northman. I knew if I tried to stand before everyone in Braavosi garments, it could be taken as a slight. Northerners like their traditions and styles; returning to them looking as though I were a changed man would not be ideal. I laced the cord on the sides of my padded leather tunic. I ran my fingers over the direwolf sigil imprinted on the chest, watching my motions in the large looking glass that leaned against one of the tent posts.

As I stared at the sigil I was reminded of all the responsibility I now had to shoulder. The past few weeks had been a breath of fresh air, getting to travel and jest with a group I could consider friends, and make memories with my daughter. There would be no more of that. Once again, people would rely on me and I had to do my duty to provide. Merriment would be last on my list of priorities.

It was then that I understood the sudden flip of Andra’s mind regarding a possible relationship.  We were no longer children. The time to be selfish had long passed; I needed to shoulder the decisions that I made. Yes, Jon Arryn and my mother told me I should marry Catelyn, but at the end of it all I was the one who made the choice. I needed to accept and live with that fact.

I left the tent and immediately ran into Andra who was coming out of the one across from me. I stopped in my tracks. She wore a flattering yellow tunic and tight black britches, parading the colors of House Baratheon. I swallowed on nothing; changing my view of her as a romantic partner would be one of the hardest challenges I’d face.

Andra smiled up at me, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. The storm had eased slightly, but there was a lingering drizzle of rain. I lifted the cloak I wore enough to cover her. She stepped closer to me, welcoming the shield against the elements. We walked towards the main tent where Jory was waiting for us. There were whispers as we passed. Most of the surrounding soldiers knew who I was and were justifiably surprised by my presence; only some knew of my beautiful companion but were still surprised to see her in a Northern camp. We made it to Jory, who bowed his head as we approached.

“How does it look,” I asked, trying to see through a gap in the entrance doors of the tent. I was unsuccessful.

“It is not as many as I would have thought. Lords Karstark, Bolton, Tallhart, Umber, and Lady Mormont are present. These were the only ones who could come on such short notice. The rest are stationed elsewhere.”

I nodded, clapping my free hand on his shoulder.

“You’re a good man, Jory.”

“Thank you, my lord.”

He held one side of the tent doors open for Andra and I. I lowered my cloak and walked in, the other two trailing right behind me. In addition to those that my captain described, in attendance were Rodrik Cassel, Theon Greyjoy, Robb, Catelyn, Arya, Syrio, and a few others I did not know by name but their sigils represented their respected houses. All eyes turned to me and everyone fell silent.

I froze. Leading had never come easy to me; my father had raised Brandon to lead- I was only ever taught to fight. When they both died, I picked up the pieces with Jon Arryn’s guidance, but no one knows the North like a Northerner. I tried my best to make do with what I had been given, but it was never natural and I often felt I was an imposter. Cersei was right: I was only ever a soldier.

My eyes found Cat’s. There was no softness in her gaze, no reassuring smile- there never was in times like this. There was nothing I could lean on even now when I truly needed it. The support I craved would not come from her. She only looked at me expectantly, waiting like all the rest. I supposed that is all I deserved from her.

As I looked to the crowd before me, I could feel myself heating up as I thought of Cersei’s words again. They seeped into my mind, burying themselves deep. My doubt was rapidly creeping in, making me incapable of movement. I could feel sweat forming on my brow. My heart began pounding in my ears and I immediately felt so small in the world.

Who am I to stand there before all these loyal men and women, who expect a king, and attempt to lead them?

Before I dove too far into my thoughts, I felt the briefest of touches on my hand, which was clasped firmly with the other behind my back. I did not have to be a scholar to know that it was Andra offering her encouragement. The small brush of her forefinger on my palm was enough to pull me from my own mind and bring me back to the moment. She took the empty seat next to Syrio. He already had a glass of wine waiting for her.

“Lord Stark,” she began, “I believe the room is wanting an explanation. Beheading seems awfully final, after all.”

There was a chorus of laughter and, suddenly, I could breathe again.

I told my tale, looking to Jory or Andra to fill in the gaps of any information I missed. I explained everything about my time in the capital, including the parentage of Joffrey, the betrayal of Petyr Baelish, and the murder of Robert Baratheon. When questions began flying at Andra about how she rescued me, she simply said Jorien came into her life at the exact moment she needed him. She described his religion and how Faceless men operate. She boasted about Jorien’s sacrifice in a way that honored him rather than made him sound like a lamb for slaughter, which was often what I compared the moment to. Jory spoke about the search for Arya which is how they reunited with Yoren. Arya had even chimed in, eager to contribute, to tell how Yoren found her because Jorien shouted Baelor, alerting the man to her presence.

None of us were quite sure how Jorien knew of Arya or what she looked like, but from what Andra explained, we were all inclined to believe that he truly had been sent by his god.

The only thing Syrio had to offer was the irrevocable truth that Meryn Trant could not kill a man if his life depended on it, which won a chorus of chuckles around the room.

In turn, Robb shared his side of events. His three victories over Tywin, his betrothal to one of Walder Frey’s daughters in exchange for passage across the Trident, and even his capture of Jaime Lannister were all news to me and my companions. We had not heard any whisperings of the Northern troops and now we knew why. It seems the Northern forces had made such an impression the South was not so quick to boast.

Robb had led the men well, from what each lord was saying. The praise and accolades were very well deserved. Though it would not have been the choice I would have made, I could not help but be proud of my son. He was already a better leader than I was at his age. Once everyone had shared what they needed to, the room once more looked to me.

This time my eyes found Andra, who gave me the smallest of smiles.

“So then, lords and ladies,” I began, “we need to come to a decision about the North. If I am being true, I would have never taken the mantle of King in the North- not while this war brews. However, it has been done so now I do not know how this kingdom means to continue forward.”

“With you leading, Lord Stark,” Lord Karstark exclaimed. An echo of ‘ayes’ came from around the room. “We only started this movement because of our loyalty to you and our opposition to bending the knee to a realm that does not even know who their king is. I think even your boy would agree that you should be the King in the North.”

“I would gladly relieve the crown,” Robb confirmed.

“I do not want it,” I said earnestly. “However, my duty as Lord of Winterfell is to do right by the Northmen. If independence is what the North wants, then that is what I will fight for.”

There was a chorus of cheers. A chant of “King Eddard” began making its way around the room. The present lords, including Robb, began pledging their swords and their fealty to me.

I tried my best not to scoff at the outrageous notion of me becoming king. I could barely address the room and now I had the responsibility to lead these men and women through war and come out as the victor.

I looked to Andra. She had the same encouraging smile on her face, clapping in support. When she met my eyes, she raised her glass ever so slightly and mouthed ‘To King Ned’. I raised my glass to my lips, tipping my head ever so slightly in her direction before we both drank.

As the cheers died down, I placed my hand on the hilt of Ice.

“There is another order of business. If we are to be truly independent, the North needs to fight to put someone on the Iron Throne. I would prefer someone who would surrender the Northern kingdom peacefully.”

“You would align the North to one of the three kings? Which one?” Ser Rickard inquired.

“That is where I am conflicted,” I admitted. “Stannis is the rightful heir to the throne but after an enlightening conversation with him, I see that he only wants what is his. He does not care for the realm.”

“Renly cares for the realm,” Andra offered, “however, my brother is easily influenced. If Varys and Baelish are making him their puppet, then I cannot vouch that the good of the realm is their priority.”

“And Joffrey is a lying prick,” Arya called out.

Catelyn nearly fainted at the sound of our daughter’s voice. I sent Andra a playful disappointed look but she only gave me a subtle shake of her head.

“That one, I fear, might have been learned from me,” Jory confessed in my ear. “He truly is a lying prick.”

A playful smile found its way to my lips. As Cat scolded Arya, I sent her a wink so she knew what she said would not be the end of the world- no matter how badly Cat made it seem.

“And Joffrey is a lying prick,” I confirmed with a nod of my head.

“What if we decided not to stay independent,” pitched Lord Tallhart, “just for the sake of seeing all of our possible options. It would not sit well with me to support any of the current so claimed kings.”

“I would like to note,” Andra said, “that if the North decides to denounce their claim for independence, it will make this kingdom look weak. It will also plant seeds of doubt into anyone who sits on the Iron Throne that the North may revolt at any moment. It could cause a shortage of supplies sent North, an increase in taxes so the North’s purses hurt, so on and so forth. If they were a smart strategist, they would choke the North so that if it came to war, you were already beat. The best course of action would be to win the North’s independence and align your kingdom with a king that will support the North’s severance in the same swoop of a sword. We already know Stannis and Joffrey would not give up the North; Renly may be persuaded.”

“If you spoke true about your brother being under the influence of the same man who betrayed King Stark, then I would not be willing to give my blessing that the North stands behind him,” Lord Umber stated plainly.

“What if, Lord Stark,” Lord Bolton interjected, “we aim to put our own king on the Iron Throne instead of one of the three? A Northerner who makes us a priority.”

“And who would you suggest, Lord Bolton,” Lady Mormont asked, sarcasm dripping on every word. “Yourself?”

Bolton shrugged, a coy smile on his face. “If there were no others to step forward.”

“I mean no disrespect,” Ser Rickard chimed in, “but did the Boltons not flay people alive? If you were king what would keep you from reinstating the method of torture in the South?”

I flinched at the vile thought of the Bolton’s’ old practice. Rickard made a good point. Whoever was king would make all the rules to ban or unban laws as they pleased. It would need to be someone righteous and just. In my eyes, any true Northerner would not want to sit atop the Iron Throne while the North was its own kingdom. I made a note of Bolton’s self-nomination for my own future reference.

“If I may, lords and ladies,” Andra spoke up, “If you truly wish to be independent and put your own king on the Iron Throne, it has to be someone who knows the North and the Southern regions. A Southerner would be the most receptive option for the citizens, seeing as the North would be a separate entity. An individual who will be just and fair and not ‘prioritize’ a single region over another…”

I blinked.

“…The importance of the Iron Throne is not the power one holds but the responsibility to refrain from abusing that power…”

What…

“…Yes, it began as a reminder of conquest and submission, but ultimately it it became a symbol of unity- though that idea has clearly been lost in recent time…”

I looked to Jory who seemed to share my realization.

“…Aegon brought the nations together and made us a stronger, more powerful empire. Few leaders understand that nowadays, but it is imperative that whoever you plan to solidify your allegiance with remembers the strength of the kingdoms as a whole. If the the North is independent, it would need to be someone who respects that and looks to the King in the North as an ally rather than an enemy. To use the strength together and not put it against one another…”

…if?

“…I know I am not a Northerner but I do respect your people for their many virtues. I would not give ill counsel now or ever. You do not need to heed my words, but I do believe the key to everyone’s success in the future is a balanced relationship between all the regions.”

Everyone fell silent as they regarded her words. It was Lord Karstark who spoke first.

“King Stark, who would you name as king for the North to support?”

“There would be no king,” I stated, solidifying my resolve.

This is the correct choice.

Confusion came in the form of mumbled replies, everyone trying to make sense of my words. I met Andra’s own confused gaze. After the briefest of moments, her eyes widened in realization dawning over her features. Her face turned to stone as she pieced together what my next words would be.

“I would name Cassandra of House Baratheon, first of her name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm of Westeros.”

Chapter Text

My heart pounded in my chest as I looked at Ned. I was not sure how long I sat there, just staring into his grey eyes. It meant a great deal that he would hold me in such high regard, especially considering our earlier conversation where I practically forced him out of our previous agreement. I knew he had not been happy with the end result. All the sweet things he had said nearly made me cave to my selfish desires, but I knew that would not be right.

Yet he still thought me deserving of this honor.

Do I want the honor?

As I sat there contemplating, still staring at Ned, we seemed to share the same thought.

As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay.

This was our new mantra; a promise that we would keep each other safe. I would not be his queen, but I would be a queen at his side, fighting to bring balance to the realm. As I looked at him, conviction shone brightly in his misty irises and he seemed to have the same realization I did. We could do it, working together until the very end. At the end, however, we would need to part ways and forge our own paths for our respective kingdoms. He hid it well, but the tiniest bit of sadness entered his gaze.

I squared my jaw as I approached my decision. I was about to open my mouth to respond when Lord Bolton interjected.

“I don’t know this woman! Yes, I have heard the tales and legends of her fierceness in battle, as I am sure the rest of you have. Lady Mormont, I believe you even fought by her side once or twice, but that does not mean she can lead. Forgive me, my lord, but why should we align ourselves with this woman if we do not know her?”

“Did you not just name me king,” Ned shot back. “I may not want the title, but if I hold it I expect you to respect the position and decisions I make, Lord Bolton, because I assure you the North is my priority.”

He may second guess himself a lot, but he was so attractive when he was sure of the power he wielded.

Jory stepped forward. He asked Ned for permission to address the room, which the newly appointed King in the North allowed.

“My name is Jory Cassel, and though I am no lord, I hope that everyone in this room will hear me. Since I followed Lo- King Stark to King’s Landing, I have gotten to know Lady Baratheon well since she and King Stark had much business together as the Hand and the late King Robert’s closest advisor.”

I did not miss the glare Catelyn pointed towards the ground out of the side of my eye. Guilt ate me away as I sat in my seat, eyes still locked with Ned’s. I could not bring myself to look away from him. In that moment, he seemed to be the only thing keeping me grounded to reality.

Something passed between us as we watched each other. This moment seemed to seal our fate. If I were to be queen, a king consort and heirs were to be expected of me. This decision, paired with our earlier conversation, was the wax on a letter. There would be no future for us other than friendship.

“It is true that Lady Baratheon fought against Targaryen forces, same as us all. She fought against Balon Greyjoy during his failed rebellion. She even fought Lannister men in the capital in order to save King Stark and myself. From the few conversations I have had with her regarding the matter, she knows wars and she knows how to win them.

“More importantly, I had the honor of accompanying her when she would venture into the city on the days the King did not keep her busy...”

I raised my eyebrows. I had never gone into the city with Jory, save for when we abandoned the Keep when Ned was arrested. Had Jory been following me since before the day my brother died? How long had Ned been worried about my safety? My heart ached as my eyes found him again.

“…I got to watch first hand as she spoke to those in Fleabottom, trying to see what the people needed most from the crowd. She visited orphanages and told stories to the children there. She even made sure the left overs from every meal in the castle were evenly dispersed throughout the orphanages in the Capital. She cares about the people of Westeros, I can vouch for that with certainty.

“Additionally, when King Stark was falsely arrested, Lady Baratheon took it upon herself to see to the safety of his daughters. While the Queen Dowager had Sansa tightly under her eye, Lady Baratheon assigned a man within the castle to bring her safely to Winterfell the first chance he gets. She led the search for Arya for nearly two weeks, and as we know, she, along with some help, saved King Stark from his imprisonment. She has done the North a great service. We owe her at least a chance to prove herself.”

A blush crept onto my cheeks. I took pride in my ability to fight, but my character is what I longed to be remembered for. Jory taking the time to acknowledge some of my passions made my heart leap with validation, even if I had not been aware that he knew of them.

I looked down at my lap, trying to keep myself from showing the conflicting emotions warring in my heart. I hadn’t realized that I had began picking at the skin around my nails, one of my bad habits when dealing with stress. I stopped immediately; I could practically hear my mother chiding me.

“Thank you, Jory,” Ned said, clasping his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Andra, what say you?”

I thought about the position I found myself in. Years ago I denied the crown; if Robert were still alive I would likely deny it once more. However, he was gone and the realm was on the verge of ruin. Stannis likely wanted to burn everything to the ground, Renly would rely on the Tyrell’s to win the war- in exchange for what, I was not sure-, and Joffrey showed himself to be a merciless monster.

I thought through my options. I had the North, I had the Sealord of Braavos, and I knew I had a few more friends to call in favors from. I did not think I could sway any of my brothers’ followers to my cause. I would have to begin forming alliances and strategizing immediately.

There was a chance we came out as victors.

There was a chance we did not.

However, I had been a follower all of my life. I had been passive and docile, tiptoeing on the line between society’s standards and what I knew in my heart was right. If I did this, I would make my own lines. I would dictate my own choices without fear of rejection. I would set the standard. I could rewrite the story so that little girls could be destined for more than marriage and child bearing.

I stood, placing my palms on the table in front of me and leaning forward, mirroring Ned’s stance. He looked like a true Northerner and I only hoped I looked at least half as determined as he did.

“If we fight, if we win, and if I sit atop the Iron Throne after all this, the North will have its independence, King Eddard. Before you and your loyal bannermen, I swear this to the old gods.”

There was a thunderous amount of cheering and applause from such a small crowd of people. It seemed to have been decided. If we were victorious, I would be queen.

Jory led the group in a popular Northern chant, taking the celebration out of the tent. Arya grabbed Syrio’s hand and pulled him to join the group. Clearly, she wanted to be the one teaching him a lesson for once.

Eventually, it was only Ned, Catelyn, and I left in the tent. I fell back into my seat, pouring another glass of wine and bringing it to my lips. Ned finally sat down since entering the tent, and Catelyn took the seat next him.

“How do you two feel about this turn of events,” I asked.

“As though I need a chamber pot,” Ned admitted, earning a laugh from me.

“Likewise,” Cat said coldly, no trace of humor in her voice. I pursed my lips. It would be a long road to convince Catelyn I was not a threat. Well, that was if there were any chance of convincing her.

“And you, Andra? My apologies for putting you in such a position without warning but I truly believe you are the best option for the realm.”

“It is an honor, truly. I never thought I’d be inclined to wear the crown, but I find myself excited for the challenge. I’ll send out ravens in the morning to those that I know will rally behind us. It won’t be long until I’m pressured to produce an heir, but I am hoping, given the circumstances, it will not need to be until after the throne is won.”

I watched as Ned’s face fell. He did not look surprised, only sorrowful. He had known what it meant to name me as queen. He had recognized that it would mean the end for us.

“Ned; we do need to discuss…the boy. I know he is under your care, but I believe it is time he knows.”

“Aye. I was thinking the same.”

Catelyn’s gaze turned into a glare. She knew I was referring to Jon; but she did not understand the reason why. I was certain Ned would explain Jon’s parentage to his wife now after everything he had seen in the capital.

“You know what this means, Ned? Me becoming queen?”

He cocked an eyebrow and let out a light questioning hum.

“I’m definitely stealing Jory for my Queensguard. I’ll offer him the rank of captain.”

He smiled in the way that made him look younger- as though all the years of stress and responsibilities disappeared.

“Well, Your Grace, if you believe you can sway that man’s loyalty, I would be more than happy to give him up.”

“Thank you, Your Grace,” I responded in a teasing tone. Ned nearly snorted wine out of his nose as he took a sip.

“How in any of the hells did we end up here? We told Robert that he to bear the weight of the fucking crown!”

It was my turn to chuckle. “Fucking arsehole probably died on purpose just so we’d have to do his job for him.”

We laughed simultaneously, raising our glasses.

“To Robert, the fucking prick.”

“To Robert,” I cheered, leaning across the table to clink our glasses.

Catelyn raised hers a minuscule height in respect for the dead.

As we took a drink, I couldn’t fight the tears that welled up in my eyes. They fell, allowing myself to grieve the loss my brother with the only person that could relate to the pain I felt. The pain that was nearly unbearable. I gulped the entire glass in one go, wanting to be rid of the onslaught of grief. As I reached to pour more wine, Ned’s own hand on mine stopped me. I met his gaze, trying to ignore Catelyn’s inquisitive eyes.

“There will be none of that. We both miss him, Andra, but we will not drink ourselves away because of it. Do you remember what you told me the night we found out Brandon and my father had both died and I tried to do the same?”

I closed my eyes, nodding. How could I ever forget? It was the beginning of the end for our betrothal. I wiped tears off of my cheek with the back of my hand.

“‘We will not get drunk, because we will get revenge.’”

“Aye. We will avenge Robert, Andra. I swear it by the old gods. I will serve you Cersei’s head on a silver platter if that is what you so desire,” he promised hooking his forefinger around my chin and resting his thumb on the butt of it, pulling my gaze toward him. “Say the word and Casterly Rock will be nothing but a pile of ash.”

His words made my heart flutter. The conviction laced with each syllable made me love him. The determination in his eyes told me that he would make true on his words.

I felt as though if I looked at him any longer, I would vault over the table that separated us and kiss him until we were no longer able to breathe, regardless of Catelyn’s presence. I took a breath before placing my hand over his wrist. I squeezed lightly.

“It’s been a long day, Ned. I must retire,” I mumbled, getting to my feet. I bowed my head. “Goodnight, King and Queen Stark.”

With that, I made my way to the exit of the tent, leaving Ned and Catelyn to their own devices. I was ready for a session of tears followed by good night’s rest.

Chapter Text

Ned

Once Andra disappeared through the door, Catelyn looked over to me. I let out a loud sigh and poured us both another glass of wine. It was time to pay for my sins.

“You wanted to talk, Your Grace?”

I shot a glare in her direction. She sat with her arms crossed and a stern look on her brow

“Please, don’t do that, Cat. It is awful enough the others will call me that.”

“Well, you are a king now.”

“And you are a queen. We shouldn’t need to deal with titles- we never have.”

There was a moment of silence before Catelyn turned her body towards me, shifting the chair slightly.

“You’ve never been so outrightly sensitive with her in front of me.”

“I did not mean it as a slight to you. I was only trying to comfort a grieving friend.”

“Surprisingly, I did not take it as one.” There was a brief pause before she asked her next question. “Is that truly all she is to you, Ned? A friend?”

I sighed again and drank more wine.

“That is all she can be.”

“It is not all you want though.”

I placed my forehead in the palm of my hands, elbows resting on the large table in front of me. I told myself I would be honest with Catelyn if I am to ever repair the damage I have caused.

“Catelyn, you know it is not. Why make me say it aloud? What will it accomplish?”

She ignored me. Even I could admit that I deserved the treatment.

“Were you…physically intimate with her? In the capital?”

“Yes, but not in the way that children are made.”

I felt like a child, confessing my wrongdoings to my mother. Though I knew Catelyn would only ask these questions if she truly desired the answers from me.

“Oh. I see. I’ve never known that intimacy.”

I closed my eyes. No, she hadn’t, not with me.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been the husband you deserved, Catelyn.”

“No, you have not. We wed, you made me with child, and then you left to fight in Robert’s war-“

“Our war,” I corrected. “Robert raised the banners, but it was my family that had been wronged. I wanted revenge just as much as he had.”

Cat paused and sat up straighter.

“Fine. You left to fight in the rebellion and came back with another woman’s child. We only spent one night together, Ned. Was the idea of being married to me so bad? You did not need to uphold Brandon’s vows; my father would have understood that you were promised to another.”

“Catelyn, the idea of marrying you had nothing to do with Jon. Jon just happened.”

“How, Ned? How does a child just happen?”

“He’s not mine,” I finally confessed, a weight lifting off of my shoulders. I looked up at my wife. She was expressionless. “I will not give you the name of his mother yet, but know that I had never been unfaithful. Not until Robert and Cassandra arrived in Winterfell.”

Catelyn’s calm demeanor quickly turned absolutely enraged.

“You disrespected me under my own roof?!”

I hung my head. “In the Wolfswood.”

Catelyn stood up, moving her chair away from mine. She walked away, placing her hands on her hips.

“You spent one day with that woman and you dismissed your morals that easily? Yet, you sit there and expect me to believe that Jon Snow, the bastard that looks exactly like you, the bastard that walks around my home like he belongs, is not your child? When you first brought him home, Benjen warned me that there was only one that would make you forget the vows you swore to me. Do you think me daft? I know that woman is his mother and you are so clearly his father! Stop lying to me, Ned!”

Her voice rose as she spoke. It always did when Jon was involved. As much as I knew I should be complacent, I could not help feel defensive. Andra did not deserve to have her name dragged through the mud.

“I spent a year with Andra,” I argued. “I spent a year fighting by her side, watching her almost die, and seeing her earn scar after scar for her brother’s vengeance- for my vengeance. We spoke a handful of times during that year of turmoil and only once was it about something other than the war, out of respect for you. Believe me when I say: Jon is not mine, Catelyn.”

“Then why did you claim him?”

“I said he was my blood. Everyone else gave him the title of my bastard, so I allowed the rumors to spread. It was the easiest way for me to keep the truth hidden.”

Catelyn stared at me for a long while before squaring her shoulders and nodding.

“So he is truly not yours and th- Cassandra’s?”

“No, we’ve never… we’ve never been together in that way,” I admitted. “I am sorry for keeping it from you all these years. Now that Robert’s gone, I suppose it does not matter much.”

“Was he one of his bastards?”

I shook my head. “I promise one day to tell you, Cat. First, I need to tell Jon who his mother is. He deserves that much from me.”

“Why did you tell Cassandra but you cannot disclose the information to me?”

“Andra was the one who told me,” I admitted.

“If she hadn’t been, would you have told her?”

“No, I made a promise.”

“You made a promise to me. That didn’t stop you from having relations with her.”

She made a valid point.

“Fine, I’ll concede. I likely would have informed Andra of the situation, however not for the reason you believe. I will explain more after I’ve talked to the boy, I swear it. I know I have no right to any favors from you, but I do ask for your patience in this matter.”

Cat nodded in understanding. I smiled softly. She truly was too good for the likes of me.

“I am sorry, Cat, that I could not love you the way you deserved.”

“Why not, Ned? Am I so much worse than Cassandra?”

“No, of course not. Never think that. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.”

She raised her eyebrow in clear skepticism.

“Explain.”

I met Cat’s eyes. She was determined. She demanded my answer with the expression she gave me.

“Catelyn, I do not want you to excuse my actions. I do not seek forgiveness. I only want to do better by you- by our family. I have been a piss-poor excuse of a family man of late. I crossed a line and I will strive not do so again.”

“I care not for your excuses for your infidelity. Explain to me why your heart longs for her instead of opening up for me.”

“In truth, Cassandra Baratheon has held my heart in her hands since the day I first saw her. We were children, but even then I knew that she was different than the others in my life. I cannot rightly explain the bond between us. It is natural, instinctive, and almost…animalistic. It is as though she imprinted on me that day I met her, much like a wolf might. She is so deeply rooted into my soul that when we are apart I simply feel empty.”

“I do not fill the void that she leaves?”

I did not give her the truth. She knew it by the way her eyes turned cold while she watched me.

“Tell me this, Cat. If our roles were reversed, and you had to marry me because I was betrothed to your sister and she died, would you be able to love me the way you loved Brandon? If he still walked on this world, would you choose me over him?”

She stayed silent and sat back into her seat. She held her hands in her lap, absentmindedly running one over the other.

“No, Ned, I do not think that I could. If I am true, then I do not believe that I do love you the way I loved Brandon. I had been head over heels when he proposed. Gods, when he died-“

She choked on her own words. It was then I realized that Brandon had never been the topic of our conversations. Like Lyanna’s, I did my best to avoid his name around Winterfell. All that it accomplished was bringing up reminders of the cruelty of the world. Both of my siblings were taken too soon and everyone in Westeros felt the effects of their deaths. I never wanted to linger on their memory for too long.

I placed my hand on Cat’s knee, squeezing lightly. She grabbed my hand and held it in her own.

“I am sorry, Cat, that I was not there for you when he died.”

“I would say the same, but it seems Andra was there for you.”

I nodded, ignoring the slight annoyance in her voice.

“Aye, she was. Did you know our wedding had been marked for two weeks from the date Brandon died? She had been sewing the finishing touches on the dress I never got to see when Maester Luwin went to tell her the news. That’s when she found me in the cellar, pouring a pint of ale from a barrel. Two days later, Jon Arryn convinced me that the honorable thing to do would be to fill Brandon’s match. You were promised to the next Lord of Winterfell; that was now me.”

Catelyn dropped my hand, pushing it away as though it burned her. I could tell this conversation was showing her that I truly was a horrible husband. I knew then that the damage was too much to repair.

“Why did you do it, Ned? If you were so madly in love with Cassandra Baratheon, why did you chain me to a marriage that would never satisfy you and, in turn, never satisfy me?”

“I was raised to be a soldier- to be a knight. Honor and duty were core values that my father instilled in me. When he and Brandon both passed, I had no idea how to be a lord. I followed Jon Arryn’s advice on everything. When he advised me that you were owed the seat as Lady of Winterfell, I thought that was the only way forward. I was seventeen years old, Cat. I did not know the world as I do now. I thought I could be happy; I thought I could be satisfied. Part of me even thought that if I could not find happiness with you, then I could live content in my silent misery.”

Cat watched me with her bright blue eyes. I felt relief explaining all this to her. I had never lied to Cat, but I also had never been so forthcoming with her. I could see her hurt and disappointment as she watched me. She deserved so much more than I had to offer.

“During our seventeen years together, Ned, I have always known that you never truly loved me. There were times I would forget and believed I was enough for you. Then there would be a reminder. Whether it was Jon, passing you while you cared for that mare you gave to her, or especially when you moaned her name in our bedchamber. She has been a divide in our household since the first night we lay together. I deserve to feel loved the way that you love her.”

I leaned my head back against my seat and closed my eyes.

“I will try-“

“No, this love will never come from you. I realize that now. Just remember every day that we are together, I deserve more than you,” she said, standing up.

She did; I knew that she did. That did not negate my irritation at her words.

“And what of me, Catelyn? Do I not deserve to be loved in return? You have blatantly told your visitors in front of my own household staff that I was the uglier brother, the shorter brother, the weaker brother. You have never once complimented me nor supported me. I looked to you first in this very tent as panic settled into my mind. I looked to you for reassurance and you gave me nothing. Andra was the one to give me what I sought. She has never made me feel badly about things I cannot control, such as my body. I may be a man, but I deserved love and kind words too. I lost my father, brother, and sister in the same year and not one word of condolence came from you. The only person who ever cared about my emotions cut me off. I had a castle filled with people and had never felt more alone.

Cat stayed silent. She knew I made a valid argument, but I could tell she would not say it aloud. So I continued.

“I know I was unfaithful, but for seventeen- nearly eighteen years, I tried to be the best husband I could to you. I never once made you feel less than beautiful; I boasted to anyone that would listen of your beauty. I told everyone, even Andra, that you were the best mother I could ask for to share children with. I did my best, Cat. I gave it everything I could and I am sorry it was not enough. I realize I failed, I do. But you need to recognize and admit to yourself that you were never the wife to me that you would have been to Brandon.”

Cat scoffed.

“Of course I was not, Ned. Brandon loved me, Ned. You simply wed me.”

She stood up and began the walk to the front of the tent.

“Shall I find a different tent to sleep in?”

Cat shook her head.

“We may not love each other, and rest assured that I will never allow you to lay a hand on me again, but I’ll be damned if I am going to separate my family. It is bad enough that Sansa is so far south and the two boys are in Winterfell. I will be your queen, Ned, but behind closed doors, I want nothing to do with you. Unless it pertains to our children, you will handle your issues yourself.

“Fuck her if you’d like. You already brought home a bastard, regardless of the truth you hide. The realm knows you are unfaithful and do not uphold your marriage vows. However, you will not openly disrespect me. If I hear so much as a whisper regarding our relationship, I will claim I knew nothing and I will tarnish both of your crowns. While I am here, you will stay in our tent and sleep on the floor. Do not be surprised when I find myself intimate with someone else. Brandon was too much of a gentleman and you clearly had no care for my pleasure. I have been gracious for most of our relationship, but no longer. It is time I put myself first, for once. Just remember, Eddard Stark, you are the villain in this story.”

With that she was gone.

I looked at the wine glass in front of me before filling and downing it in one gulp. It would be a long, sleepless night.

Chapter Text

The next morning I found myself walking through the military camp alone. Word spread overnight because almost every soldier bowed and greeted me by title. The hour was early, the sun barely rising about the trees, but as I passed near the training yard, I saw Arya and Syrio were already conducting a lesson. Jory watched from the sidelines with a proud grin on his face.

I turned and walked towards them. Ravens could wait a few more minutes. Arya waved when she saw me and Syrio took that as an opportunity to whack her on the leg. She glared at him and got ready once more.

“Good morning, everyone,” I said as I approached. Jory smiled and bowed.

“Your Grace.”

“Please don’t, Jory. Not when it’s just us.”

He nodded.

“Of course, my lady.”

“Just Cassandra. Or Cass. Or Andra. Really anything but titles, I beg of you.”

“Of course, Cassandra,” he corrected, still choosing the most formal of the examples. I smiled to myself. Jory really was a good man.

“I thought you’d be guarding your king.”

“I have a man outside the tent. Once King Stark wakes, I’ll take his place. At least until he chooses his Kingsguard.”

“Speaking of…” I saw my opportunity and I was not going to pass up the chance to take it. “I have a proposition for you.”

He smiled. He knew what I would ask next. I could see the expectation in his eyes.

“Go on.”

“I am obviously in need of my own Queensguard. I’d like offer you the rank of Lord Commander.”

“It would be my honor. Would you like me to swear the vow now?”

I smiled and shook my head.

“No, I want to see Ned’s face when you say it. He is convinced that you would never part from his service.”

Jory laughed along with me.

“My duty has always been to act in the best interest of His Grace. I believe accepting your offer would still be within that command.”

“And if I ever asked you to kill Ned?”

Jory cast me a wary glance. “If you ever asked me, I would do so in your name. I know that if you were to command such a thing from me, it is because King Stark was about to commit a truly heinous crime.”

I smiled. He spoke the truth. Even then, I was unsure if I could have Ned struck down.

“He had a rough night, I assume? He was always an early bird; it is odd he is not up already.

Jory shrugged, trying his best to hide the concern in his eyes.

“He went to bed quite late. I believe he had a few glasses of wine too many.”

Ned had? He must not be taking the new position of king very well if he was willing to drink himself to sleep. Not even half a year ago he had told me he stopped drinking so much. I decided I’d take him a treat and check on him.

“I’ll take him some tea. It should help.”

“I think he’d like that very much. Your tea always seems to lift his spirits.”

His choice of words bought my attention. I hadn’t made Ned tea in years. Jory spoke of my presence and I was thankful he was cunning enough to hide it behind other words.

“Could you send Syrio my way once his lesson is done? I would like to speak to him.”

“Of course. So then you do not want me to begin my duties now?”

“I won’t make you do that work until you swear your oath,” I said with a shake of my head.

I left the group, waving as I did so. This time it was Syrio that I distracted, giving Arya the chance to land a blow to his arm. I smiled to myself as made my way to a fire pit with a pot already on top. I emptied a water skin inside and bought tea leaves off of one of the soldiers- even though he did not want payment. I had to throw the coin at his feet as I walked away. As the leaves steeped, I took some time to stretch my body out. If war was the next step, I wanted to be as prepared as possible.

Once the tea was ready, I served some in a drinking mug. I found the sleeping tent for the King in the North. The guard Jory mentioned informed me he was alone inside.

“Jory Cassel told me to allow you inside if you wanted to go in, Your Grace.”

I nodded in thanks, once again finding myself grateful for Jory. The guard opened the tent for me and I froze once I stepped inside. Ned was on the floor, asleep like the dead, and a pile of sick not too far from his head. There was a wine glass next to one of his limp hands and an empty pitcher not too far away.

Clearly, whatever was going on in his mind last night took its toll. He had never let himself drink himself to sleep, even before the day we had a marriage date set. My heart hurt learning that my love had been in pain and I was not around to comfort him. Then again, he was not my husband and I had no right to his sleeping tent at the late hours. Even one he shared with Catelyn.

Knowing I could be there for him now, I placed the cup on a trunk and tied my hair back with a cord I kept tied around my wrist. I pulled Ned’s arm and dragged him away from the vomit puddle.  He moaned as I did so but made no move to get up. I shook his shoulder and he just moved away from me by a few steps. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, a small smile playing on my lips. If he wanted it the hard way, that is what he would get.

I picked up a water skin that sat nearby and uncorked it. I dumped the liquid on Ned’s face, which immediately made him sit up, gasping for breath as water entered his mouth. He glared at me, opening his mouth to likely yell. Then he registered it was me and his animosity melted away. He quickly turned embarrassment and even quicker to shame.

“You should not see me like this, Andra,” he said, sitting up. He bent his knees and rested his arms on them. I sat down facing him and mimicked his position, sitting so that our outer knees touched. “I do not want you to see me like this.”

“You’re a mess, Ned,” I whispered, allowing a playful smile to grace my lips. I leaned over so that my crossed forearms were supported by our touching knees. “You truly do not want to be king, do you?”

Ned shook his head. He kept silent, looking at the ground. He breathed in through his nostrils, which made a sniffling noise. He rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his tunic. There was something that he was not saying. I sighed and grabbed one of his hands.

“Since when do we keep secrets? Tell me what has happened,” I commanded gently.

Ned looked up at my words. He looked pained as he closed his eyes and let out a dejected breath.

“I spoke to Catelyn last night. It did not go well.”

I tiled my head in confusion.

“I thought we decided you wouldn’t talk to her.”

“You decided that and I was not going to- simply out of respect for your wishes. However, after you left the tent she began asking questions. The truth came out and she has told me that she wants nothing to do with me. She’ll play her part in front of watching eyes, but other than that she desires minimal contact. I suppose it is what I deserve.”

I wanted to soothe him and tell him he hadn’t done anything wrong. He had done something wrong- we both had. Instead of giving false comfort, I squeezed his hand that I was holding.

“Hey, we are both still alive and breathing. We will get through it.”

The smallest of smiles played on his lips. He was silent for a second before taking in his surroundings. He released a large exhale and looked towards the door.

“Andra, I don’t know where to start with all this now before us. I had truly hoped that the men would demand that Robb remain king. I’m sure that makes me a craven, but I truly do not know what I am doing.”

“Well, we should start with babe steps, such as getting you ready for the day. You would not want your men to see you like this, especially on your first official day as king.”

Ned glanced in a looking glass and groaned at his frazzled appearance. I chuckled and stood to my feet. I grabbed a wooden comb, wet cloth from a nearby basin of water, and the tea I had brought with me.

I stooped down and handed him the tea. While he used the cup to warm his hands, I took the cloth and wiped his face. I wiped away dirt, tear stains, and even a little sick that had been left on the corners of his lips. I wiped his facial hair, which had grown during our travels. When I finished my task, Ned took a sip. He held the liquid in his mouth for a second before swallowing. He smiled at me, his grey eyes lighting up.

“You make the most delicious tea.”

“I just put some leaves in water, you silly man,” I stated plainly, moving to sit behind him.

I crossed my legs in front of me and began combing his hair from the ends. I used the wet cloth to help smooth out some stray strands as I pulled sections of his hair back in to the traditional Northern hairstyle. I took the cord from my own hair to tie his in place. I hummed a popular tune from Storm’s End as I did all this in an attempt to make a peaceful atmosphere.

Ned sipped on his tea and I could feel him begin to physically relax. Eventually he leaned back, his head resting on my shoulder, all his worries slowly leaving his body. Unable to fight the need to comfort him, I placed my hand on his face and stroked my thumb over his cheek, still humming my tune. I combed through his beard, attempting to make the course hair more tame. After a while, he spoke, causing my humming to cease.

“Thank you, Andra. You take such good care of me.”

I smiled down at him. His eyes were closed and he looked much better than the state I found him in. I squeezed his face lightly before giving him a few pats on his cheek.

“I expect you to do the same and take care of me when I am at my lowest. Now come on, get dressed. We have ravens to send out. Time to let the realm know that you cannot be rid of Eddard Stark so easily.”

He grunted but stood up, stumbling slightly as he did so. I let out a giggle as he stuck his arms out to help balance himself. He shot me a playful glare for taking joy in his struggles. Once he righted himself, he held out a hand to help me to my own feet. I gladly accepted it.

He used a great force to pull me not only to a standing position, but also so that I was pressed against him. His other arm came around my waist and he squeezed me in an embrace.

“Thank you, Andra. Truly. I don’t think I would have ever gotten up today without your encouragement.”

As much as I loved the way our bodies molded together, I knew there was work to be done. I smiled up at him, placing my hand on his chest and pushing him away. He let go and I pointed to the door of the tent.

“Anything for a friend. I’ll be in the main tent. I’ll see you after you get out of these clothes. You reek of wine sick and sweat.”

Ned hid his face in embarrassment, groaning once more. I laughed and made towards the door. When I reached the entrance, I softly called over my shoulder.

“Find me afterwards. You’ll earn this queen’s favor if you bring food to break our fast.”

Once outside, I began the route to the large tent in the middle of camp. I hoped there were writing supplies inside. It seemed to be the main hub of operations, so I did not see why it would lack supplies.

As I wove my way through men, livestock, and tents, I found myself to be the center of stares and whispers. I closed my eyes and rationalized that it was because of yesterday’s events, but the dramatic side of me was taken back to when Renly and I first announced our marriage. Everyone in Storm’s End and the capital had vocalized their judgment of our lifestyle choice. I did my very best to ignore the watching eyes as I finally came to the main tent.

I ducked inside quickly, eager to be rid of the anxiety rising in my chest. Once the fabric fell behind me, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, reassuring myself that the whispers had nothing to do with my past.

“Are you well, Your Grace?”

My eyes popped open at the sound of Robb Stark’s voice.

“Oh! Yes, I’m fine. I am not yet used to the whispers, I suppose. I had grown accustomed to them in the capital but out here it feels different. It might be because I care more of what these men think.”

He nodded in understanding.

“It’s odd to be sure. When they first named me King in the North, I was terrified. It felt as though every move I made was being watched and analyzed. I am glad to be free of the crown. That reminds me that I never got to say thank you, Queen Cassandra, for saving my father’s life.”

“Just Cassandra is fine. And I don’t deserve the thanks. Jory made it sound more than it was. I simply followed Jorien.”

Robb nodded again.

“Still, Cassandra, you have my thanks. From what Jory told me last night, you have been watching my father’s back since he arrived in the capital. It is appreciated.”

“You truly are a gentleman,” I said with a smile. “Tell me, is there parchment and ink in here? I told your father I’d begin the task of sending ravens out.”

“It is there on the desk. Might I observe you?”

“Of course, Robb. Any particular reason as to why you would like to do so?”

Robb shrugged. “My father is king now but one day I will have the title again, though I pray it is not for some years. However, I would like to be more prepared next time I bear the weight of the crown. You worked closely with King Robert these past seventeen years of his rein. I figure that I could learn a lot from you.”

I smiled and invited him to grab a chair and bring it next to the one he gestured for me to sit in. I moved the quill and ink to my writing side. I took nearly half of the empty parchment from the stack and handed it to Robb.

“I say we start by writing six letters each. One to each Warden, one to the capital, and one to the Wall.”

“The Wall? For Jon?”

“Yes and no. I think it is important that Jon knows his father is alive, but the Wall is an essential function of Westeros. In recent years, it has been treated as more of a joke, but they do deserve the respect that we would give any other liege lord. They protect the area past the Wall and therefore do serve as wardens in that regard, similar to your father.”

“I see. And who is Warden of the East now that Jon Arryn is gone?”

“Robert planned to name me, or so he claimed. I believe Cersei was fighting him on the matter. I am sure they will name someone soon. For now, I’ll send it to your aunt Lysa.”

”You mentioned four wardens. What of the North?”

“Because we can now be considered rebels, we will need to address the realm under the standards of the crown, which currently rests on Joffrey’s head. The Northern raven will be sent to Winterfell, the traditional seat for the Warden of the North. It is a way to show that we recognize the power that the King has, and that we do not give two shits about it. Additionally, this way your brothers will know the news of your father.”

Robb nodded, his lips upturning in a smile. I handed him a quill.

“I’ll work on my six, because those should be addressed by my own hand. If you would like to begin similar letters on your father’s behalf, I am certain he would not mind. It is important that we note our alliance to each other. If we are hoping to rally any others to stand behind us, it is imperative that they know that we have unity as well as a good amount of forces so far. Leave room for your father to sign.”

Robb and I scribbled away for the next few minutes. He asked a few questions about proper titles and wording, which I was happy to help him understand. He lit a candle so that I could melt yellow wax for my seals. I was surprised that he had yellow wax on hand. When I asked his reason for it, he just shrugged and explained that his Maester in Winterfell packed the stationary supplies.

After a while, Ned came into the tent, a large platter full of food in his hands. My stomach growled in the most unladylike, but an awfully true Baratheon, way at the sight. Robb laughed before hiding it behind a cough.

“My apologies, Cassandra.”

Ned set the plate on an empty area of the table. He raised his eyebrow as he heard his son address me. I sent him a wink so he knew it was okay. He brought me a piece of roasted goat on a fork.

I do not believe I could ever not love this man.

He looked much better in a fresh change of clothes. He looked kingly. As he came to stand behind Robb, I leaned back and took a sniff. He smelled like my regular Ned. He pinched my jaw playfully as he realized I was inspecting him.

“Where is your mother, Robb?”

”I believe she is accompanying Lady Mormont this morning until Arya’s dancing lesson is over. I went by to see how it was going. She dances well.”

Ned smiled and changed the subject. He gestured to the desk.

”So what is happening here?”

“Robb is helping me fill out letters, which you will need to sign.”

Ned nodded and brought a chair around to sit on the other side of his son. He grabbed a quill and looked over Robb’s work. It met his standards, as I knew it would, and he clapped Robb on the back.

“Good job, Son. This is as if I wrote it myself, maybe even better.”

“Thank you, Father.”

I smiled to myself and finished off my own letters. Once those were done, I began writing to houses that were loyal to House Baratheon so that they were aware that there was another Baratheon entering the war.

I explained the truth that Robert had named me Lady of Storm’s End and that marrying my youngest brother had been the only reason Renly had a claim to the seat. I explained that Robert never saw Stannis as his successor and if he knew Joffrey’s true parentage, he would have named me as heir. I encouraged the archivist to search for the proclamation document he signed when he first named me. It would show that I was named, and Renly was announced as my betrothed. Most forgot about the technicality, but I would remind them.

It pained me to throw my little brothers in front of the horse and cart, but I also knew that if I had any chance to save Renly and Stannis from each other, I would need to pull forces from both of them so that they would be too weak to attack one another. I was hoping Robert had enough loyalty from his bannermen that the might rally behind me.

I scribbled letter after letter, massaging my hand every once in a while. Being left handed was particularly exhausting, seeing as I needed to be very careful when the ink was wet in order not to smear it. I was not near patient enough to allow a line to dry before starting the next. When Ned noticed my struggle, he instructed Robb to lend me a hand. He said he could handle his letters to the North. I am sure my cheeks flushed with appreciation at his compassion.

After what felt like hours of writing, Syrio found his way into the tent. He gave a small bow as he entered.

“Syrio! I have a few questions. First, the Sealord gave us that ship, correct? It is at our use for when we need it?”

He nodded, confirming my understanding.

“I know the Sealord wants to start a good relationship with the next person to sit atop the throne. If you could put in a good word and find out what it would cost to get a fleet of warships and crews for each one, I would appreciate it. We cannot take King’s Landing without ships. I know that battle is further into the future, but I would like to know the starting price of what we would need to pay.”

He nodded.

“I would also appreciate it if you could begin training some of the younger soldiers with Arya in the morning. The older fighters will be too set in their ways. I’d like some trained in the art of the water dance. I want more flexible fighters, like Andra,” Ned said. “I would be honored if you were the one to teach them.”

My heart surged at his proposition for Syrio. Syrio loved teaching, which is why he sticks so close to Arya. He is a talented fighter, but his true passion was sharing his knowledge. I knew he would be honored to have this role as a secondary master-at-arms.

As I suspected, Syrio placed a hand over his heart and bowed.

“The honor is all mine. I shall write to the Sealord now, Cassandra, regarding the price of ships.”

He left the tent, leaving me with the two Starks on my left. I went back to writing, dipping my quill to grab fresh ink.

”It is a very slim chance, but I am writing to House Velaryon. They are loyal to Dragonstone, rather than House Baratheon, so I am unsure if they will join us. If so, it would save a lot of pain dealing with the Iron Bank of Braavos.”

“What about the Ironborn,” Robb asked, breaking the short silence. “They have ships.”

My head whipped around to look at the boy. Ned shared my shocked expression as he watched his son.

“What about those traitors?” Ned questioned.

“Theon is the future Lord of the Iron Islands. He has pledged his loyalty and offered to speak to his father on our behalf. They have ships and crews.”

“If we try to ask Balon Greyjoy for help, he will demand three times of whatever the Sealord of Braavos might.”

“Aye, Cassandra is right. That is if the man is willing to help. Knowing Balon Greyjoy, he will use this as an opportunity to to separate from the North once more.”

“Not if Theon speaks to him,” Robb argued.

“Robb, how long have you known Theon Greyjoy?”

“Since we were children.”

“Exactly. He most likely does not even realize the kind of man his father is.”

“Or Theon knows him better than we do.”

I could not help but laugh.

“Balon Greyjoy is a stubborn old fool who has learned nothing from his mistakes. The man has single-handedly destroyed the legacy his father left him. I promise you, Robb, if he catches wind that we are in need of help, he will see it as weakness and try once more to claim his own crown. If we freely give him independence, he will not be satisfied. He will eventually gain enough strength to come for revenge of the deaths of his sons.”

“She knows what she speaks of,” Ned confirmed. “I would only ever involve Balon in this matter if it was my last option and I was prepared to pay the price. I appreciate you and Theon wanting to help. You have done a wonderful job so far, but calling on the Ironborn is not a risk I am willing to take at this time.”

“Yes, Father. My apologies if I overstepped.”

“These conversations are how you learn,” Ned reassured him. “What other alliances did you have in mind?”

“I was going to send mother to speak to Renly and see if we can find terms of peace at least until we have taken King’s Landing. I originally planned to see if he would be willing to sever ties with the North after we won him the crown. Now that we have Cassandra as our own Queen of the Andals, there is the matter of his 100,000 men.”

”I am hoping to sway some to fight for us. Unfortunately, most of my time as Lady of Storm’s End was spent in King’s Landing with Robert. Renly was the one to show his face around the keep.”

Ned nodded. “Robb, why send your mother?”

“She’s met him. Although I suppose you and Cassandra have also met him. Though I do not much care for the thought of sending any of our royals that far south. Before you took the crown, Mother was simply my closest confidant. She is Queen now, it changes things. I would say send Cassandra, but Renly may take her hostage in order to protect his claim to Storm’s End.”

“I agree. I do not think Cassandra should be venturing too far from the Northern troops, especially without a Queensguard established yet.”

“Am I your hostage?”

Ned’s movements froze and he became rigid. I shut my eyes tight and cursed myself a hundred times over. The poor man already had a shit night- I should not have added to his pile of emotions. What would compel me to say those words? I hadn’t even thought about them; they had come out in such a natural way.

Immediately I was transported to the first day Ned used them.

Lyanna and I sat on my bed in Winterfell. We were both huddled over the white dress embellished with grays and yellows. Lyanna, much more into the latest fashion trends than I, had designed the whole piece. I had helped her sew the dress together using fine white thread. I ran my hand over the direwolf sigil she was currently embroidering on one side.

“Ly, this is simply amazing. You are going to have me looking like the most beautiful bride.”

Lyanna shot me a grin, her eyes full of the childlike wonder she never lost as we grew older.

“You are going to be the most beautiful bride, with or without the dress. Truly, Andra, you know that you could walk to the Godswood wearing a potato sack and Ned would still make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I smiled, giddiness rising up because I knew it was the truth. I never needed to experience self consciousness, self ridicule, or self hatred that some young ladies went through during their early years of changes. Ned had always made me feel as though I possessed true beauty- the kind a goddess might wield. Whether it was his sweet words, the look in his eyes, or the way he clung to me as we kissed, I never once questioned my value.

“I hope I get to experience it,” Lyanna said as she watched me. I tilted my head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“True love. The love you and my brother share.”

My smile turned softer and sadder. I knew Lyanna’s feelings towards my brother. She had shared her fear that he would claim what was his and move on to the next woman. I understood her concerns, Robert was Robert after all. Though there was nothing I could do. I was his little sister- I held no authority over the man.

“Ly, Robert loves you. You should hear the way he speaks of you.”

“Robert has many kind words to say. Loud and boisterous, but they are kind. They simply do not make me feel the way Ned’s make you feel. I feel akin to a prize, not a partner.”

“Why do you not bring this up to your mother? I cannot change your betrothal, Lyanna. We have been over this countless of times.”

Lyanna glared at the window, where sun was pouring in.

“I have spoken to her. She simply tells me that my duties as the Lady of Storm’s End will keep me too busy to notice his infidelity.”

I frowned. Lady Stark had never been the most understanding when it came to Lyanna’s feelings. We shared a theory that she never wanted to marry Lord Stark- who was, in fact, her cousin after all- and therefore does not care what Lyanna feels towards her own future groom.

“If I talk to him, he will only say I am mad and that he would never be disloyal.”

“Do you think that is true, Andra? Do you believe him capable of staying faithful? I have seen him and Brandon sneak to the brothels when he comes to visit. I’ve even seen him try to coerce Ned once or twice. The difference between our prospective husbands is that Ned says he will wait until you are his bride to experience what true pleasure is. He claims he cares not for transactional pleasure. Robert clearly does not share the sentiment.”

“I am sorry that I cannot fix things for you, Ly. You have such a beautiful soul and deserve someone who sees it. I’m sorry if my brother does not.”

Lyanna placed the stitching down next to her crossed legs, bringing her gaze to meet mine. She grabbed my hands and brought them into her lap. Her face had softened and she squeezed me tightly.

“I do not blame you for your brother’s actions, Andra. You are not responsible for his choices and I could never hold you accountable for them. I tell you these things as my friend, not as his sister. You must always remember that. Now, let’s forget these unpleasantries. Your wedding is mere months away! Have you practiced what I told you?”

I laughed nervously, confirming that I had not. Days after we had a marriage date in place, Lyanna had overheard Brandon speaking to Ned regarding the type of acts women performed on men in the brothels. She was determined that I should learn.

This woman that I loved so dearly, this beautiful soul paired with a witty mind, and my absolute best friend, had taken it upon herself to find a stick for me to practice with.

“Lyanna, I am not putting a stick you found in the Wolfswood into my mouth. I don’t think that is comparable to a cock.”

“Andra! You have told me of the way Ned showers you with pleasures. You still have not returned the favor and you refuse to even practice? What about the hand motion? The one that the whore from Wintertown had made?”

I sighed. My friend meant well.

“Lyanna, I appreciate you trying to help. I’m sure Ned will instruct me on what feels right and wrong. It’s not like he practiced the way he touches or kisses me at my core. We figured it out together.”

Lyanna scoffed.

“Yes, yes. You and Ned have the perfect relationship. I am simply saying you could try to be a little prepared. Aren’t you curious? I certainly am!”

“Truly? I had no idea by the way you are fixated on trying to get me to practice. You shove the stick into your own mouth.”

“Well, Robert and I do not have a marriage date set. It would be improper to entertain these curiosities.”

I barked out a laugh.

“Why is it okay for men to go to brothels before their weddings but we cannot? Besides, Ned and I certainly did not wait until we had a marriage date-“ I stopped when I realized I had never admitted that to her. Her eyebrows shot up and she grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking lightly.

“What?!”

Before I could respond, there was a knock at the door, saving me. I was grateful for the excuse to be free from her next onslaught of questions. I lightly set Lyanna’s project on the bed next to me. I went to open the door.

Ned stood on the other side, his usual charming smile gracing his features. Lyanna shrieked behind me.

“Out, out, out, Eddard!!”

She flung herself from the bed and began pushing Ned down the hall. He chuckled as she did so, stepping along with her since she did not have the strength to move him herself.

“I see you two are working on the dress again.”

“What did you need, my love,” I asked, leaning on the rail in front of my room. If I looked down, I would see a large hall that served as Lord Stark’s solar. My eyes, however, were entirely focused on my soon to be husband.

“I was coming to see if you’d like to walk to the stables to feed Snowfall.”

Lyanna threw her hands in the year.

“Of course she does. She wants to do everything with you, dummy.”

Ned ignored his sister, his eyes locked on mine. He tilted his head towards the entrance doors. I pat Lyanna on the shoulder as I passed.

As we walked away, I looked back to make sure she wasn’t hurt by me abruptly leaving. She never was in these moments, but I always liked to double check.

I was met with the sight of her making a jerking motion with her hand- the exact one we had seen the whore in Wintertown make.

I laughed and before Ned could look backwards, I grabbed his hand and brought his knuckles to my lips. Any curiosity he had about what made me laugh was forgotten as he returned the gesture. I could faintly hear Lyanna making disgusted gagging sounds behind us.

Ned led me down to the stables. As we entered, he handed me a brush for Snowfall’s fur and grabbed a large bundle of hay. We began our near nightly routine of caring for the mare.

“How’s the dress coming along, love?”

“Your sister has really outdone herself. It’s gorgeous.”

“She’s always been brilliant with a needle. Don’t tell her I said that. It’ll go directly to her head and she’ll never let me forget my words.”

I giggled at his jest and finished brushing Snowfall so that she could eat in peace. Instead of walking me back to my chambers, he led me towards the bell tower, which was normally empty at this time in the evening.

Once alone and away from prying eyes, Ned wrapped his arms around me from behind.

“Can you believe in a few more months you’ll be all mine,” he asked, placing soft kisses along my neck. “I cannot wait to call you my wife.”

I smiled and leaned back into him, nuzzling my nose into his own neck.

“Mmm, you’ll be stuck with me forever.”

“Will I?” He teased.

“Absolutely. I am going to tie you up so you can never leave,” I whispered, biting his skin playfully.

“I’m sure whatever knot you manage, I’ll be able to get out of,” he boasted.

I turned around quickly, my hair whipping Ned in the face. He had a teasing smile on his face. He loved pushing my buttons in all the right ways and I loved proving him wrong. Sometimes I wondered if he challenged me just so I had the opportunity to take pride in thwarting his claims.

I quickly glanced around the level of the bell tower we were in. To my delight, there happened to be a thick cord l could use. I went over and grabbed it, turning back towards Ned.

“One way to find out.”

Ned happily held his arms out in front of him. He gave me a look that invited me to do whatever I pleased. I smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek before working on the knots Robert had taught me.

I wove the cord between his hands and through itself. I tightened it as best I could, taking care not to hurt Ned. It would not be as strong, but I would never forgive myself if I brought my love any form of pain.

When I was finished, I inspected my handiwork. Ned tried pulling his arms apart but the cord did not budge. He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly impressed. He attempted escaping a few more times to no avail.

As I watched him, want came alive in me. There was something so enticing about the way he stood there. His hair had come loose, framing his determined features. He would look up at me every once in a while, love nearly pouring from his eyes. When he looked back down, determination took over his features. I felt my body growing warmer as I thought of how he would look lying on a mattress like this- completely under my control. I knew exactly what I wanted to do next.

“Lean back on the rail, my love,” I instructed.

Ned’s smile grew amused. He did as I instructed without argument.  His elbows propped him against the rail that was built to keep people from falling onto the stairs that led down to another level of the tower. He held up the hands that were tied together.

“Am I your hostage?”

“You are,” I whispered in a seductive tone, indicating my change from playful to almost needy. I tilted my face towards his and kissed him quickly, swiping my tongue along his bottom lip. “And I very much want what is mine.”

I ran my hand down the seam of his trousers. I cupped his member which quickly hardened under my touch. I blushed, only ever having felt his erect length pressed into my legs or backside. However, I was too determined to let shyness and inexperience take over.

The moment I touched him, something in the air shifted. He let out a moan and grabbed the fabric of the tunic I wore with his fingers, tugging slightly. I met his gaze straight on and we shared a mutual agreement that we would do this here in the bell tower, where anyone could walk in on us. The risk of someone finding us seemed to add to the thrill. Ned’s eyes grew dark with want- or possibly need by the way his cock twitched under my palm.

Ned visibly gulped and nodded his head quickly. I dropped to my knees and began unlacing his britches. I freed him in no time, his member springing out to greet me. With my hands on either one of his thighs, I looked up at him. His breathing had grown rapid as he sat in anticipation.

“I am yours,” he said as he watched me. “Take whatever you desire.”

With that, I followed my instincts to wrap my mouth around the first inch of his member. The whimper that came from Ned gave me the courage to sink as far down as I could handle.

I sat in my seat, frozen by the memory. It was one of my favorites, because it had been the first time I had gotten to show Ned how he always made me feel. I had gotten to return the favor and the aftermath had been delicious. From the sounds he made, to the way his restrained hands came around to hold my head and guide my movements, even to the way his salty seed filled my mouth- everything had made me feel…powerful.

I had been happy to report to Lyanna the morning after that it was most certainly not comparable to a stick, much to her chagrin.

Knowing I could not linger on the thought any longer, I stood up and made my way towards the nearly empty platter of food. We had all been picking from it, using it and an excuse to take small breaks from writing. I tried to control my breathing as I stood there, grabbing a few berries. I kept my back towards the Stark men.

“No, of course not,” Ned said plainly, his voice devoid of emotion. He seemed to have recovered quicker than I. “You can leave whenever you please. I was simply concerned for your safety.”

“It was only a jest,” I said in a defensive whisper, still embarrassed by the slip of my tongue. I was sure from my distance he could not hear me. I turned to go back to my seat, holding the handful of fruit in my palm.

Robb surely noticed the tension- a small babe would be able to pick up on it. The boy must have decided to ignore it. Instead, he began taking the scrolls I had signed and poured the melted wax, taking the ring I had placed in front of me and stamping the wax with the House Baratheon sigil.

I tried to ignore the way Ned shifted in his seat periodically. I knew I had caused his discomfort- I had caused my own discomfort. I could feel my cunt practically dripping at the thought of Ned’s member buried in my mouth once more. It had been one of my favorite feelings in the world, knowing the fierce warrior that I loved could be brought to ruin simply by the use of my mouth.

I crossed my legs, wishing I had worn a dress. The way the seam of my britches pressed against me was nearly unbearable. I chewed on my lip as I finished writing to each of my brothers’ bannermen. I also wrote to many of the towns in the Stormlands, hoping that if I could rally the smallfolk, their lords would be inclined to also stand behind me.

“What everyone seems to forget,” I told Robb when he asked what I was doing, “is that it is through the efforts of the smallfolk that wars are won. They keep troops fed and housed, swords sharp and armor sturdy, they even would give their flocks to the Targaryen’s dragons.”

Robb nodded and kept dealing my words.

“I will begin sending out the ravens.”

“Do you have them all,” I asked. It was quite a bit of parchment that he began grabbing.

“Yes, I’ll find Theon to help me. Thank you, Cassandra, for your guidance.”

The moment he left, the tension was increased by a thousand fold.

“I think it would be wise,” Ned spoke after clearing his throat, “if we have someone present with us at all times.”

“A chaperone?” I scoffed, “we’re not children, Ned. We are adults who should be able to control-“

I stopped short when I finally looked over at him. His hands were clutched into fists and his breathing, although quiet, was quickened. He looked almost desperate as he glanced over at me. I bit my lip as I took in the sight of him. He was most definitely battling with staying in control. I could tell he was soon to loose it.

The needy, absolutely depraved beast inside of me wanted to push further. I wanted to see what it would take to break Eddard Stark’s resolve. How far would I have to go before he gave in to his desires? What words would make him fall?

I quickly corrected myself, sitting up straighter and forcing my eyes away from him. We could not walk this road, not with the fate of the realm on our shoulders. As much as my body screamed and begged for him, I knew it could never be.

“I should have a captain of the Queensguard soon enough,” I stated, beginning a letter to Dorne. “He’ll be by my side always.”

Chapter Text

“I would like it on record that I am very displeased with this turn of events.”

“Well, we don’t have an appointed Maester, but it’s been noted,” I assured Ned, making sure my sarcasm was apparent. I tapped my temple. Ned rolled his eyes in the teasing way he had always done with me.

We, with the addition of Catelyn, were sitting at a head table in the largest tent in the camp. There was a considerable space left between Ned and I to show the division between our respective kingdoms. While Ned and I may operate as partners, it was our goal to reassure the Northmen that they would have their independence.

We were surrounded by the same crowd that had been present when Ned was named King. We had opened the tent up for those who wished to speak to us for the first time, as the last week had been catching up on the war efforts and sending out ravens.

My eyes were trained on Jory Cassel who was standing in front of me. He had cleaned up for the occasion and donned the traditional Northern hairstyle. He abandoned his Stark sigils and wore a plain tunic and britches. He straightened up from his bow.

“I am here,” he announced to the room, “to swear my loyalty to Queen Cassandra Baratheon.”

“Go on,” Ned said, glaring in my direction. I felt like a child as I leaned forward and placed my chin onto my hands, elbows resting on the table. I event went as far as to bounce my legs in excitement after deciding that swinging them back and forth while I sat there would likely be overkill.

“Please do,” I said, batting my eyelashes at Jory.

He hid his smile well. His eyes were bright with amusement, but he wore the same serious expression.

He once again bowed, this time holding his sword out with both his palms turned up.

“I swear to ward the Queen with all my strength and give my blood for hers. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father-“

Jory stopped, seemingly at a loss for words. Had he forgotten them? He tried to start from the beginning, not making it past the word strength before choking up once more. I held my hand up, stopping him. Ned turned to me and I leaned towards him. We began speaking in hushed whispers.

“Are we allowed to change the oath?”

Ned raised an eyebrow.

“You’re Queen, Andra. You can do whatever you please.”

I looked towards Jory once more. He looked embarrassed as he kept his eyes shut. He opened his mouth the try again.

“Jory,” I said with my most welcoming voice. His eyes popped open. He had one of these most apologetic faces I’d ever seen on a man. “If you were to swear your loyalty using your own words, what would it sound like?”

Jory thought for a moment before opening his mouth.

“I swear to warden the Queen with all of my strength. I swear to lay down my life for you, spilling my blood in place of your own. I swear to always stay loyal and faithful, never questioning a command. I swear to guard your secrets and ride by your side, always defending your name and honor. I swear to watch over you and those that you love. I will do all of this, Cassandra, until my last breath.”

“You would not give up having a family?” Catelyn asked. “It is a critical part of the oath.”

Jory remained silent, his eyes downcast.

“Tell me, Jory, if there was an attacker and it seemed impossible for you to be the victor, what would you do?”

“I would lay down my life for you, Queen Cassandra.”

“And if, in the same scenario, you had a wife and children, what would be your goal?”

Jory smiled sadly. “I’d make sure I lived to get back to them.”

“And would you betray me? If someone offered you a great prize for my head or perhaps if they simply threatened your family, what then?”

“My Queen, if anyone made me an offer I would tell you immediately. I vouched for you in front of these same men and women. I know that any offer that tempted me would be double. I also know that you would do everything you could to ensure my family’s safety, just as you did with King Stark’s girls.”

“Girl,” I heard a very faint mutter. I glanced towards Catelyn. She raised her wine glass raised to her lips, her cold expression covering her features. I turned back to Jory.

“I accept your oath of fealty, Jory Cassel, and henceforth appoint you as Lord Commander of my Queensguard. We shall get you a uniform soon enough. As of now, I task you with the duty of filling the six vacant positions. Present your choices to me, and I shall deem if they are suited for the task.”

Jory nodded and moved to stand behind me. I noticed the glance that he and Ned exchanged. It was one of mutual understanding. Despite Ned’s jests, he wanted Jory at my side rather than his own. When Ned’s eyes drifted to mine, I stuck my tongue out much like a child would, covering my face with my hand to hide the expression from the room. Ned did a horrible job of hiding his laughter behind a cough. Catelyn gave him a pointed look, which caused Ned to sit up straighter and pay attention to the matter at hand.

“We’ll hear the next petition,” he stated with authority.

I tried to mask my shock as a young boy walked to stand before us. My brother’s bastard- the one I couldn’t get out of the city- stood before us. He had grown in the years that I last saw him; now he looked even more like Robert. I leaned forward, glancing to see if Ned recognized him. He had; I could tell by the subtle stiffening of his shoulders.

“My name is Gendry. I dunno if you remember me, Lord Hand, but I was an apprentice to Tobho Mott, an armorer in King’s Landing.”

Ned nodded, not bothering to correct the use of his previous title.

“Aye, I remember you, lad. I told Tobho to send you directly to me if you ever chose to wield a sword. Have you made that decision?”

Gendry stayed silent. In his hands, he held a helm styled as a bull. He took a breath, as though building up the courage to speak.

“Tobho never mentioned such an arrangement to me. I came here because Tobho ended my apprenticeship. He told me my work was not up to the standards of the Crownlands and that I should seek other employment. I had been traveling North with a brother of the Night’s Watch, Yoren. We heard news that you were alive, Lord Stark, and I quickly changed my course to come this way. If you remember our last meeting, you praised my craftsmanship. I was hoping to work for your smithy.”

Ned clasped his hands in front of his chin, elbows resting on the table. He eventually nodded.

“I think I can find a place for you in our ranks, Gendry. Thank you for your service. Come find me when I am done here.”

Theon Greyjoy stepped up from his seat. He bowed before the table.

“I come to make a proposition. My father has men and ships that are needed to take King’s Landing. I propose that you send me to barter an alliance with him.”

I bit the inside of my lip. This was defiance. Surely Robb told Theon of our decision and now the boy brought it before an audience. He was making a spectacle because there would certainly be controversial stances in the crowd.

I glanced to Ned. By the furrow of his brow, he had come to the same conclusion. As whispers began winding their way through the crowd, Ned leaned towards me.

“Can you handle this? It will not be pretty if I do.”

“Your ward; your problem,” I whispered. Ned shot me another glare before turning back to Theon.

“No. I will hear nothing more on this matter.”

“But, Your Grace-“

“I said I will hear no more of it,” Ned bellowed.

I had to bite my tongue so hard I thought it would fall off. I would not let this audience see how easily this man could make me swoon with a simple change of his tone.

“Lord Stark- I mean, King Stark, please. My father will see reason. If you give him the crown he longs for, you will have the Ironborn fleet at your disposal.”

Ned’s features turned to stone. He was upset and it showed. He rose from his seat and walked around the table, his leg healed entirely from his previous injury. My heart quickened as I watched him approach the boy.

How will he proceed?

“It has been made clear to me that I am not respected, even in my own household. You are my ward, Theon, and I forbade you from returning to the Iron Islands with this matter. Your father pays the iron price for his desires. If he wants a crown, he will take it, burning Northern villages and keeps alike. I will not turn to Balon Greyjoy now, nor likely ever. Now, go, before I decide that there should be a punishment to pair with your insubordination.”

I blinked, not expecting that from Ned. I had known Ned to be forgiving, loving, sometimes cold, and always wanting away from conflict. Yes, I saw him as the fierce warrior that he was, practically embodying a direwolf at times, but this was different. This was him staking his position as king, claiming the power he did not want, and making it clear that he was not as gentle as the rumors said.

And fuck if it didn’t make me want to spread myself open for him.

Theon left the tent quickly, likely humiliated. Ned had just shown the boy the difference between him and Robb. Robb was his son; Theon was simply a ward. There had been no kindness in Ned’s voice- nothing fatherly about his demeanor. Ned simply was in charge of him.

“While I am on the matter of justice,” Ned continued, “there was an incident that I was allowing to go unaddressed out of mercy. The men who have wronged me did not know our identities, therefore I showed them grace. However, maybe it is time that I solidified that I am not a man, nor a king, to be trifled with, regardless of my preference for mercy and peace.

“When Queen Cassandra and I first approached this camp, we were met with two men, one from House Bolton’s ranks, and the other from House Karstark. My lords, do you agree that justice should be brought to anyone who might harm someone for no other reason than their own sick and twisted pleasure?”

The lords in question exchanged a glance. Clearly, they had no idea what had happened at our entry. I was not surprised; if I were their men I would likely not want to disclose the information.

“Aye, Your Grace,” Lord Karstark confirmed. Bolton echoed his response.

“Then I want the hand of the man who struck Cassandra Baratheon across the face. I trust you to figure out which one of your men that was, Lord Karstark.”

Rickard nodded, whispering to a young man beside him. The unnamed man took off and Rickard bowed his head Ned. “As you would have it, Your Grace.”

Ned nodded before resting his hand on Ice.

“As for you, Lord Bolton, I want the head of the man who threatened to rape my daughter.”

The already quiet room became as silent as a grave. Catelyn covered her mouth with her hand. Ned must not have shared this information with her. Arya herself stood next to Robb, her face so similar to Lyanna’s when she was angry. Stony, cold, and fierce.

Roose Bolton bowed before snapping his fingers at his men. A few left the tent, presumably to find the man in question. Ned began walking back towards the table. His eyes were dark and his face solemn.

“Once they’re found, throw them in cells. I will carry out their sentences at dusk.”

The room started to clear out. No one wanted to risk becoming the next target of Ned’s sudden icy demeanor. As he sat down in his seat, I stared straight ahead, trying to shove my attraction as far down as I could. The last of our audience disappeared and Catelyn stood up.

“There is something I would like to ask of you.”

“Of course, Cat-“ Ned stopped short when Catelyn continued.

“Of you, Queen Cassandra.”

My brows pulled together in confusion and the tiniest hint of apprehension. I nodded for her to continue.

“Before you two were returned to us by the grace of the gods, Robb had planned to send me to convene with Lord Renly. He confided this in me a day later, which to my understanding, you and my husband had commended the idea. I would like to go and see if Renly would be willing to form an alliance.”

“Cat, why would-“

“I mean no offense, Your Grace, but I am speaking to the Queen of the Crownlands- not you.”

“Queen Stark, I do not believe that would be worth the risk. Renly would not be willing to bend the knee to me. He would likely take you hostage if you went. Then, he would use you against Ned.”

Even as I said the words, I was not convinced. Stannis had left a horrible taste of distrust and paranoia in my mouth. Renly did not deserved to be lumped with him, just because they were both my brothers. Renly had a good heart and a gentle soul.

As I thought this over, Cat’s lips pulled to a tight smile.

“You are so brazen to not mask your familiarity with my husband.”

I bit the inside of my lip. She was right; I had messed up.

“It was a slip of the tongue-“

“I am sure it was.”

There was a moment of silence as she and I locked eyes. She continued.

“If we can get Renly on our side, we will have won the war.”

I sat there silent. I did not dare offend her by looking towards Ned, no matter how badly I wanted his counsel. Or maybe I just wanted to see him so that I would be flooded with the sense of security he always brought me. Either way, I knew I could not lean on him for anything at that moment.

As I watched Catelyn, her motivation for this alliance became clear to me. She truly believed she needed Renly’s army. It was folly. I was certain there was nothing I could offer Renly that would solidify a peace deal.

Unless…

An idea blossomed to life in my head. One so preposterous that it just might work.

“Renly does have quite a large army,” I conceded, “The ravens have all reported that I would not sway any of the Houses that rally behind him. Perhaps an alliance is best. At least until the Lannisters are out of the picture.”

Cat nodded, indicating that she had the same thoughts.

“And after? We all turn on each other? An alliance with Renly will never benefit us more than him and it will never last.

“Your Grace,” I began, taking more care in how I addressed him, “We will never know until we speak to him.”

“And you plan to send the queen- the mother of my children? Alone?”

“Jory shall go with her.”

Jory coughed. I looked behind me to meet his concerned eyes.

“I just swore to protect you, Cassandra. I cannot do that if I am in the Reach.”

“No, but you can if I am with you.”

Ned stood abruptly.

“Absolutely not. You two are mad if either of you think that I will allow this to happen.”

I stood as well, squaring my shoulders and turning to the man I loved so dearly. He knew I enjoyed a challenge.

“You said yourself: I am free to go whenever I please. I shall accompany Catelyn to the Storm Lands. I will wear the scarf again so that only Renly will know who am there. We will be fine.”

“What if he hurts you both? We would be idiots to send both of our queens to enemy territory.”

I took a deep breath.

“Then let them say my reign began with idiocy. Renly is my baby brother, not yet an enemy. He will not harm me or a guest. I recognize it is a risk, but I believe deep down that he means well. He will not touch me, Your Grace, I know it. If there is a chance that I can save him from Stannis, I need to take it.”

“Ned, Jory has always protected our family faithfully,” Cat argued. “He will protect us now as well.”

We both stared up at Ned until he finally looked away, throwing a hand up in defeat.

“I can barely win an argument with one of you. Both of you against me? This might be my worst nightmare.”

He added the last sentence after an exasperated sigh.

I smiled and began walking towards the entrance of the tent. I had to prepare for a long journey. Jory followed me, leaving Catelyn and Ned alone in the tent.

“Are you prepared for this, Cassandra? You and Queen Stark have not been known to be friendly.”

“Queen Stark and I are more than capable of acting like grown women. Especially since we are working towards a common goal.”

“Why do you suppose she feels so strongly about forming an alliance with Renly?”

“It wasn’t obvious? She knows that we need to take the Red Keep quickly if we are to rescue Sansa alive. Cersei and Joffrey are surely not above killing her and we cannot allow them the time to do so. I might trust Sandor Clegane, but we cannot expect a mother to rest until her children are safe. I will prepare quickly. Please inform the Northern King and Queen that we will leave tonight, so the darkness will cover us in case there are any scouts watching the camp.”

We gathered in the middle of the camp as the sun set. Both men had successfully been identified and brought forth for justice. Arya stood next to me as we were the victims in this scenario. She huddled close to me.

“What will happen next?”

“Your father will state their sentence and then he will carry out his justice.”

“Will he kill them?”

“One, yes. The sentence matches the crime. He’ll take a hand from the one who struck me.”

“Only a hand? He hit a lady.”

“Yes, but he did not know who I was. Raping a child, or even threatening to, is cause for beheading, regardless of identities. A child can always recognized as a child.”

Arya nodded gravely. I wrapped an arm over her shoulder, my cloak falling around her.

“Do not turn away.”

She looked up at me, eyes wide. “Yoren wouldn’t let me look when we thought Father lost his head.”

“That was different. That was your father. These are two men who are paying for crimes they committed against you and I. The least we can do is watch as they do so.”

“We don’t owe them anything,” Arya argued. I smiled at her spirit. She truly was so much like Lyanna.

“No, but we can be the bigger people.”

Arya nodded and watched as Ned drew Ice out of its scabbard. The Karstark man was first. Some of Ned’s men grabbed his arm, holding it outstretched so that Ned had the opportunity for a clean strike.

“I, King Eddard of House Stark, King in the North, demand retribution for your crime against Queen Cassandra of House Baratheon.”

The young man screamed as Ned swung Ice down in a fluid arch, cutting off his right hand. I bowed my head towards Ned in recognition that I had been given my due justice. His face was solemn as he watched me. He may have appeared cold, but his eyes told me he took no joy in this matter.

“Does Father need to be the one who does this?”

I glanced down to Arya.

“An honorable man is one who passes the judgement and carries it out.”

“Joffrey didn’t swing the sword,” Arya accused, adding to her hatred for the boy.

“Nor did my brother,” I stated plainly. It was a fact.

“Would you?”

I glanced down once more. She looked at me with expectant eyes. My lips tightened. She may be disappointed in me after hearing my answer. She may have more respect for me. That was entirely up to her.

“Yes.”

Arya nodded, her gaze hardening.

“Then I will too.”

I could not help the gentle smile that took over my features. The way this little girl was quickly worming her way into my heart was astonishing.

“I, King Eddard of House Stark, King in the North, sentence you to die for your crime against Princess Arya of House Stark.”

I watched Arya as Ned swung his blade once more.

The girl didn’t even blink.

I squeezed her shoulder and began to lead her away from the execution. Once I neared Robb, I passed her to him.

“Do you truly believe peace with Renly can be achieved?”

“There may be a chance.”

Robb nodded, bowing at his waist. “Safe travels to you and my mother. And Jory, of course.”

“You have to come back soon. I’m close to beating Syrio fair and square.”

I laughed and pat one of Arya’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Robb. Arya, we will be back before you notice us missing.”

Arya wrapped her arms around me. As she squeezed, I could feel how much more muscular she had become. Her training with Syrio was beginning to show.

I stooped down to place a kiss to the top of her head before returning the embrace. Once we pulled apart, I began walking towards my tent. Jory followed as he had been doing all day.

When we neared Syrio, he clasped my hand in both of his.

“I won’t forgive you, girl, for abandoning me with all these Northmen.”

I smiled warmly, throwing my arms around my old instructor.

“Be safe, Syrio. I think if I tried to pull you away from Arya she would sneak into our luggage.”

“I am inclined to agree. Take care, my friend. I will see you in a little while.”

I let go of Syrio’s hand and continued on our path. Jory posted himself outside of the entrance to the tent. Once inside my little abode, I changed into a black tunic and britches. I grabbed the scarf and stuck it in my pocket for the time being. I grabbed my bow and quiver as well as my dagger holster.

I leaned over to strap the belt around my thigh. As I finished passing the leather through the last loop, I stood up abruptly when I heard the tent fabric move and footsteps approach behind me. As I suspected, I turned to find Ned looming over me. Jory would have told me if it was anyone else.

Ned’s features were stoic as he watched me. I could not find a hint of emotion in his eyes, but I knew this was simply a mask to hide that he had many feelings warring inside him. His face was splattered with blood and his hands were sticky with the scarlet liquid. I stepped towards him, anticipation rising as he looked at me with his icy gaze.

Once I was in arm’s reach, his hand shot out to grab me by the jaw. He pulled me towards him possessively. There was no pain as he did so, just a thrill as he titled my face to meet his own. I could not ignore how his lips hovered over mine. It if stuck out my tongue even a tiny bit, I would be able to taste him.

“You will not bend the knee to him,” he commanded, “I know he is your little brother and you love him dearly, but you are not allowed to give in to whatever he demands of you. We do not need his army that badly- we will find another way. You are the queen I chose. Understood?”

I attempted to nod my head, but his iron grip prevented me from doing so. Instead, I swallowed my own spit before I let out a submissive whimper- a noise that I did not know could come out of me.

Ned’s eyes were trained on mine. I could feel the wetness of his hand turn almost tacky as the blood began to dry on my skin. I was beginning to heat under the pressure of his gaze. I reached my arms up to grab the front of his cloak, tugging him towards me, desperate for more.

Ned did not budge initially. He watched me a few more seconds before leaning his forehead against mine and shutting his eyes. Eventually, his grip loosened by the tiniest amount, but enough that I used it as an opportunity to surge forward and bring us together.

So much for friendship. Cassandra Baratheon, you are a fool.

This kiss was different from the others we had shared in the recent months. This one was slow and held the weight of our goodbye in it. My hands moved to cup either side of his face. The hair that covered Ned’s top lip tickled against my skin, causing me to smile into the kiss.

Every alarm rang in my head that this was wrong. I should not find happiness in the arms of this man. A man who was married, a man with children, a man who was the king of a separate kingdom.

And yet every other part of my being screamed that I was where I belonged. I pushed myself closer to him as his hand moved from my jaw to my cheek. His other arm wrapped around my middle, lifting me so that I was on the tips of my toes.

He pulled his lips away from mine, causing me to whine at the loss. Ned began stroking my hair gently. I folded myself into his body, allowing his arms to engulf me.

“You will come back to me, Andra. Safely.”

“I will, my king,” I promised as I closed my eyes, allowing a moment to listen to his heartbeat.

Chapter Text

The road to Bitterbridge was long and tiresome, but nowhere near as awful as the ride to the Riverlands. Unlike that journey, we would make camp at night some ways off of the road, allowing the opportunity for us all to rest. My rear was thankful for the break from the saddle.

The days were comfortable enough. Catelyn and I kept our distance from each other. I rode up front with Jory by my side. Catelyn was further back flanked by other members of the Stark’s household guards. There was enough distance to justify our lack of desire to interact with one another.

The nights, however, were more difficult to get through. Not only plagued with my own restless sleep, but the evenings were the worst. As we sat huddled around the fire and roasting our dinner, the tension was nearly unbearable. After the first night, Jory had encouraged me to try to engage in conversation. I had glared at him, but did try, simply for his sake.

It had been…worse than the awkward silence.

We sat around the fire, everyone wanting to feel the warmth of the flame. The nights were growing colder, a sure sign that the summer was over. Winter was shortly behind it.

“So,” I began after an encouraging pinch from Jory, “this weather tonight… has been-“

I coughed a few times, not sure what had gotten into my throat.

“-it’s been cold,” I finally finished.

Catelyn raised a bored eyebrow at me.

“That is what happens at nightfall,” she said plainly. “The temperature tends to drop.”

I abruptly halted any attempts at conversation. Jory had also given it a rest.

When we finally arrived at the Reach, it had been nightfall. We decided we would camp one more night and finish our journey to Bitterbridge, arriving by mid-afternoon the next day.

As we sat, huddled by the fire, there had been a noise as though a twig had been stepped on. Jory was the first on his feet. He motioned for the other guards to surround us and move outwards, ensuring we were clear on all sides.

Cat stared at me as we were left sitting directly across from each other. I could see her gaze over the flames that illuminated her. I gave her an awkward smile before puffing my cheeks out and looking at my lap. I held one of my daggers and a large stick I was working on shaping. I had not yet decided what I would make.

“I have always hated you,” she said, voice emotionless, calling my attention back to her.

I glanced up, unsure of how I should react. I stared at her for a second to see if that was the end of it. When it was clear she wanted a response, I sighed.

“Justified,” I admitted. “Though I am unsure as to why. I can understand now, but always? I made myself scarce before you and Ned ever wed.”

“Did you know he called me by your name the first night we were together? Can you believe that on my wedding night, I was called ‘Cass’ as I lost my maidenhood?”

I bit my lip. I recalled that Ned had mentioned such an incident during our reunion in the Godswood. Then, I wasn’t sure what to think. Now, I still wasn’t sure what to think. I felt nothing in regard to that matter. What happened in their bedchambers was not caused by me. Those were Ned’s mistakes that he alone had to take responsibility for. They were not mine.

“I did not tell him to do so,” I muttered as I continued my whittling.

She bent her head and lifted her shoulder in concession.

“True.” There was a pause, so I assumed we were done. Then, Catelyn continued. “I hadn’t known who you were that first night. I had to ask Benjen if he knew the name, seeing as when I asked my new husband he brushed it off and said I misheard. I almost told myself to believe him until I spoke with Benjen. It was he who explained your relationship with Ned. Then I knew the truth. My husband thought of another woman as he was inside me. It was utterly humiliating.”

I sat up straighter. Her tone was accusatory. My defensive side began to bubble up from inside me. Normally, I would not care what claims were made against me. However, it was clear Catelyn blamed me for the issues during her early marriage.

“I did nothing wrong,” I stated. “Your distaste should have been with Ned, not a woman you never met. The moment Robert told me about Jon Arryn encouraging Ned to take you as his bride, I began packing my bag. I hadn’t even said goodbye to him. When we were reunited on the battlefield, I still kept my distance. I spent a year watching him obtain injury after injury and acting like I could not care less about it. Every stab wound, every bloody nose, every black eye he suffered hurt me worse than the pain the Targaryen’s ever brought me. However, out of respect for you and your marriage, I stayed away. Instead, I let all the anger and hurt I harbored in my heart out through my blades. The men even called me Cassandra the Cruel for the first few months of the rebellion. There was not an enemy man left standing if I was present on the battlefield.”

“What changed? Everyone boasts of your skill, but I’ve never heard you referred to as the Cruel.”

“Honestly, I think as the war raged on, my actions became justified. The more men we lost, the more we demanded vengeance. Robert and Ned were brilliant on the battlefield, but I was the one who fought without honor holding me back. I was captured a few times- being Robert’s sister made me a valuable prize- and I was tortured. When I reunited with our forces, I was practically exalted. I, The Woman Stag, had survived the torment that other men hadn’t.”

“Why is that? What kept you going?”

“My goal to retrieve Lyanna drove me in the beginning. After a while my strength came from Ned. Whether I was trying to show him he made the wrong choice or if I was simply hellsbent on protecting him, I can never be sure. All I knew is that every time I saw his face in my mind, it kept me alive a little longer. Still, I never spoke to him unless it was about the war efforts. There was only one exception and that was when we spoke of Jon.”

“Ever since Ned brought that bastard home, I thought he had been unfaithful. I genuinely believed Jon was yours. In turn, the hatred I had was directed towards you.”

“Why would that be, Cat? If he slept with another woman, why blame her? She was not the one who betrayed your marriage vows. Ned should be the one at fault. I understand your hatred towards me now, I do. Believe me, I now have to live with the guilt that I played a part in ruining your marriage.”

Catelyn stayed quiet. Her gaze was directed at the flames between us. Eventually her eyes met mine. To my surprise, she did not appear angry.

“Truthfully, our marriage was doomed before we even wed. I had been enamored with Brandon and Ned so clearly loved you. I practically had to beg the man for children after Robb. He never saw me as a wife. In truth, I am not sure I saw him as my husband. We spent one night together and I was pregnant. When he returned from the war, I thought of him as Robb’s father. And then Sansa’s. And then Arya’s. Then Bran and Rickon’s.

“I think… I think that it was easier to hate you. Ned was good as the Lord of Winterfell. He was kind and gentle. He gave me children, he built me a Sept, and he even found a Septa for Winterfell. He truly is a fantastic father. He was never cruel, he gave me gifts, he did all the things a husband should except love me as he did you. I never felt that he did not care for me, but I knew it was different than it should have been. As I’m sure you know, he makes it awfully hard to hate him. You were nothing but a name to me. Hating you instead was an easy choice.”

“And Jon? Why was he an easy choice to hate?”

Cat stared at me incredulously before hanging her head and exhaling.

“We spent a single night together and Ned came home from the war with another woman’s babe. I did not know Jon wasn’t Ned’s until the night you were both crowned.”

I had not realized Ned had confided the truth in her.

“Jon was a bastard that my husband brought back and let live in our family home. He gave me no choice in the matter. He set him in the same nursery as Robb. When the boy had nightmares Ned would let him crawl into our bed on the opposite side of him. He even gave him one of the best rooms once he was old enough, before four of his own children. Ned raised him with my true born children. He taught him how to be a lord in the same way he taught Robb. Robb is the heir and then Bran, yet he bothered teaching Jon in the matters of ruling. So, yes, I was cold to the boy, especially since I  believed he was yours. It angered me that Ned needed a reminder of you so badly that he would have taken the babe from his mother, from you, and raise him the same way as my children. I took it as a slight and, yes, I grew bitter because of it. It did not make sense to me why he would hold a bastard with such importance.”

“And does it make sense now? Knowing who his parents are, does raising him as a high born seem that awful of a crime?”

Catelyn paused, sitting up straighter.

“Ned did not disclose his parentage.”

It was my turn to freeze. Catelyn was watching me with an almost pleading gaze, though her face remained neutral.

Lyanna had entrusted the secret to me. I was the one who shared it with Ned. I was the reason he had been at the tower that day. I could tell Catelyn the truth and finally put her mind at ease in regard to Jon.

Then again if Ned and I are not a united front, what are we? This is his wife and mother of his children. Surely he has his reasons to hide the truth, even now?

All it took was the image of Lyanna clinging to Ned as she lay bleeding on her birthing bed and the sound of her desperate ‘promise me’ to help me decide my answer.

“Then I will not either. I am sorry, Catelyn, but I shared this secret with Ned and no other. I gave the responsibility of safeguarding it to him. I will not go against him in this matter.”

Catelyn nodded. She hid her disappointment well. She pressed her lips together and glanced at her hands. I mustered up the courage to ask a question of my own.

“Out of curiosity, what did you think when you first saw me? Was I the monster you made me out to be?”

Catelyn let out an airy laugh.

“When I first heard I would be meeting you, I began shaping horribly awful images in my mind. Then I saw you and you were… gorgeous. I believe it fueled my hatred just a tad bit more.”

“Funny. When I first saw you, I had hoped that you would be beautiful. That way I could at least tell myself that Ned chose beauty over what we shared. And, sure enough, you were as stunning as everyone spoke of. I may have still wished a great illness would overcome you so that he would be mine, but the pain eased the tiniest amount.”

Catelyn snorted out a laugh. I could not help but join in. Something shifted between us in that moment. All the years of bitterness seemed to melt away as we continued our obnoxious laughter. Suddenly, the overwhelming tension turned into a comfortable silence as our chuckles eventually died down.

“When did you know that you loved Ned?”

My smile instantly widened and I carved off another chunk of wood.

“I loved him the moment I met him. We were young, yes, but he had been so… different. For the first time in my life I felt alive. Even as I child, I knew that when I was with Ned, it was better than when I was not. When we are apart, it is almost as though a piece of me is dead- or waiting to die. Even now, I can feel his absence eating away at me. My brain keeps repeating his name over and over so quietly that I sometimes believe that I am imagining it. And here- here is where I physically feel that he is missing.”

I pushed the hand of my dagger directly to the upper part of my sternum. I clamped my mouth shut when Catelyn let out a gentle hum. I had not meant to disclose that much about my feelings towards her husband. Maybe in that moment of laughter, there truly had been a change. My walls that I kept up when around this woman had tumbled and I was not displeased with the resulting openness. It wasn’t friendship; it was simply the acceptance of our truths.

I lowered my blade and began carving small lines.

“He described the same feelings, just in his own words. We never shared such a connection,” she remarked sorrowfully. “Do you hate him for ending your betrothal?”

I smiled sadly. “Catelyn, Ned Stark could stab me through my own heart and I would not hate him. I do not believe that I have even been truly angry with the man. I was hurt when I found out the news, but the feelings were never directed towards him- just the situation.”

“Would you go against him? Ever?”

I let out an amused huff and worked on the final details of my wooden sigil.

“If I am being completely honest? No, there will never come a time when I stand against Ned. We are two edges of the same blade. If he wanted to burn the world, I would hold the flint. If he began enslaving people, I would forge the chains. If Ned wanted to kill me, I would willingly hand him the blade.”

“Have no shame in saying those words?”

I smiled to myself as I stood up from the log Jory had found for me to sit on. I moved to the sleeping pelts, passing by Catelyn as I did so. I stopped once I stood next to her and looked down.

“I never hated you, Catelyn.”

She met my gaze with shiny eyes. I held out my hand and she hesitated for just a moment before placing her hand in my own. I turned her hand over so the palm faced upwards.

“I envied you. You had the one thing I desired in life.”

I placed the freshly carved sigil of House Tully in her palm and closed her fingers around it. I gently squeezed her hand before finishing the walk to my pelt.

As I laid down, I saw Jory and the other soldiers shivering in the dark. Clearly, Jory decided our privacy was worth their discomfort. Once again, I found myself thankful for the man. This conversation was long overdue.

Chapter Text

As we neared Renly’s camp, Jory and I donned our face scarves. We both wore black tunics and britches to match, much like when Ned escorted me to speak with Stannis. I knew that the odds were slim, but I did not want to take the chance that someone would recognize Jory and know he was recently appointed as Lord Commander of my Queensguard. If they knew, they would conclude that I was present as well. Small odds, but I was not willing to risk it. We fell in line on either side of Catelyn, riding just slightly behind her horse’s shoulders. The other Stark men rode behind us, subtly situating themselves so both Cat and I were protected.

I dismounted and gave Catelyn my hand so that she could do the same. She gave me a small nod of thanks and began leading the way towards the large military encampment.

Two of Renly’s men stopped us to ask what our business was. The moment that Catelyn introduced herself, the men escorted us inside. They led us through the camp and eventually through a large crowd. Once Catelyn stopped at the front, Jory and I shouldered our way to either side of her.

We watched as two armored men swung their swords at each other. I recognized one as Ser Loras, my brother’s Knight of Flowers. I did not recognize the absolute giant of a man, who likely give even Sandor a run for his coin.

My eyes found Renly and my heart ached. He had a wide smile on his face and was enjoying the brawl. Seeing my baby brother’s face and knowing he was safe and happy brought me so much joy. I had been so focused on everything else that had taken place, I had not allowed myself to admit that I had been so worried about Renly and his well being. I could feel tears of relief threatening to fall.

I felt a gentle hand on my forearm and I turned to see Catelyn watching me with concerned eyes. I leaned towards her and she met me halfway, placing her ear near my mouth.

“I was ten when Renly was born. Our mother died when he was only one. He was my first, and so far only, baby. Other than feedings, I did everything for him those first years. He was three when I became a ward of the Starks.”

Cat sent me a questioning look. “Did your parents not arrange the marriage between you and…him?”

She lowered her voice even more, glancing around her. She spoke of Ned.

“We were matched young- right before Renly’s birth. I was so stupid,” I said with a playful roll of my eyes, “I had told my mother that Renly was my way of practicing for my own children. Honestly, I think she was so excited I was finally acting like a lady that she let me take full reign over the babe. I had been present for his first steps, his first word, even his first bath. Now I look at him and I see Robert in his prime.”

“I was unaware of the closeness of your relationship with your brother. I also hadn’t realized you two had been promised to each other for so long.”

I smiled sadly under my scarf, though Cat had no way of seeing it.

My eyes quickly landed back on Renly. He looked so much older than the last time I saw him- the day our eldest brother died. I recognized Margaery Tyrell as the woman who sat next to my brother. He had found himself a new wife after all. I was curious what his true feelings towards her were. As long as I have known Renly’s true attractions, it had always been Loras the captured my brother’s heart.

Staring at him now I realized just how much he looked like Robert when he was that age. He looked so confident and sure of himself. His men looked happy and healthy. I saw no sign of Baelish or Varys. Maybe, just maybe, he could handle the throne and withstand outside influences.

Ned’s voice rang in my head as the temptation to stand behind Renly began to blossom.

You are the queen I chose.

I bit my lip and quickly dismissed the idea. Just as I told Catelyn the night before, I would not move against Ned. Although, seeing Renly now reassured me that what I was planning on offering him was a very good idea.

My attention returned to the fight as the enormous man finally brought Loras to the point of yielding. Loras looked unhappy about the result and it was only a moment until I knew why. Once he removed his helmet, we all saw that he was actually a she.

Renly clapped and honored Lady Brienne a place in his Kingsguard. I was pleasantly surprised to see the powerful woman take off her helmet. I could tell by the whispers around me that some men were skeptical of the choice. It made me proud that Renly simply did not care.

“Your Grace, I have the honor of bringing you Lady Catelyn Stark, sent as an envoy by her husband, Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell.”

“Lord of Winterfell,” Catelyn confirmed, “and King in the North.”

She held her head high as she reinforced her husband’s titles. I grinned as I watched her.

She looks like a queen.

Renly shared my smile.

“Queen Catelyn, it is good to see you. May I present my wife, Queen Margaery Tyrell?”

“You are very welcome here, Queen Stark. We were all quite surprised, but glad, to hear your husband is alive and well.”

Catelyn nodded. “You are most kind.”

“Tell me, Your Grace,” Renly said, standing. “Have you any word of my sister?”

Jory reached behind Catelyn and grabbed my hand. It was the most inconspicuous way to ensure he could get to me if anything happened.

“Cass is quite well. She and my husband make a fine partnership as Queen of the Andals and King in the North.”

Renly’s smile fell. Everyone’s did. Catelyn had openly challenged Renly’s claim to the Iron Throne by giving me the title he fought for. By the look on her face, she had known exactly what she was doing. Renly stood from his seat, all eyes trained on him in anticipation.

His lips broke out into a smile.

“Yes, they were quite the pair in King’s Landing as well, standing together on every matter. I suppose they still are. It brings me much happiness to hear she is well.”

Renly stepped down from his perch and gestured for Cat to follow him. I walked behind her. I held out a hand so Jory would know that we would be alright. I could tell by his eyes that he was not pleased with the nonverbal command.

I fell in step beside Lady Brienne. The woman was silent and serious as she followed her king. To my frustration, I could not hear the words Catelyn and my brother exchanged over the sound of Brienne’s armor clinking together. We eventually came to a stop and I heard Renly command that Catelyn be shown to her tent.

I once again followed. My eyes found Jory and the Stark men who were following us a few rows of tents over. I smiled at Jory’s attentiveness; I should have known he wouldn’t wait for us.

While he had promised to follow every command without question, I did appreciate his intuition and ability to take initiative. He balanced my impulses well.

When we finally reached our two tents, Brienne left us. I follow Catelyn into her tent while the men took the other.

“I’ll admit,” I said, pulling down my scarf, “you are a force to be reckoned with, Your Grace.”

Cat tried to hide her small smile by turning to the side.

“I may not be skilled with swords, but I am well educated in the ways of court.”

“Robert trained me to be a warrior. I’m still scrambling to learn how to navigate politics like you just did- subtle and graceful. Bravo! I’ll leave you to get settled; I want to check on Jory and the men before nightfall. Would you like me to stay in here with you? I do not mind sleeping with the men. Jory is my Lord Commander; he will not let anything untoward happen.”

Cat shook her head.

“Do not be silly. I will not have a fellow queen sleeping alone in a tent full of soldiers. You are more than welcome to stay in here. In fact, I insist.”

“Thank you, Cat. I’ll return in a short while.”

I repositioned my mask and left the tent. Jory was already waiting outside for me. Once I neared, he grabbed my elbow and gently led me to a quieter area a few tents down.

“What is our plan?”

“I will stay with Catelyn tonight. We will be fine, Jory.”

“You know that I am still going to stand outside. Why do you bother trying to convince me you will be safe? My job as your Lord Commander is to keep you safe. Allow me to do that, Cass.”

I practically beamed at his first use of my nickname.

“Look, you are opening up to me,” I teased. Jory rolled his eyes, but could not keep the hint of amusement out of them.

“Tomorrow we will try to speak to Renly,” I decided. “He mentioned something about wanting to pray, which was always his excuse for other activities. He won’t be taking any visitors tonight.”

Jory nodded knowingly. “I understand-“

We both stopped as we heard a scream from Catelyn’s tent. Our feet quickly carried us towards her. I made it in through the fabric a split second before him.

I ran in to immediately see a man trying to grab her when he back was turned. Cat quickly pulled a dagger on him, holding it towards his face.

“Have you lost your mind? Get out!”

The man straightened. It was then I recognized him to be Petyr Baelish, one of Cat’s closest childhood friends. Fury burned through my veins as I remembered the part he played in throwing Ned in jail.

I rested my hand on the hilt of my sword, waiting for any reason to swing. Jory was by my side, mirroring my stance. Petyr glanced at us before returning his attention to Catelyn.

“Do you want to see your girls again,” he tried. “Sansa, beautiful as ever? And Arya, wild as ever?”

I grinned.

He fucked up.

We had purposely left out any mention of Arya in all correspondence. If Petyr hadn’t heard that she was with us, it was a sign that the men in our camp had been loyal and, maybe more importantly, silent on the matter.

Cat made a convincing face of disbelief.

“You have Arya too?”

Petyr once again glanced at us. It was clear that he would say no more while Jory and I stood there. Catelyn nodded at us to leave them.

I didn’t like it, but I wouldn’t argue.

We both left the tent. Across the way was a small brazier with a low fire. I led us over to it and positioned myself so that I could see Catelyn’s tent. Jory came to my side and I turned my face towards his.

“Well, I understand how you feel now. If I ever tell you to leave me again, just tell me to piss off,” I muttered, crossing my arms.

“I will not, but the empathy is appreciated.”

I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder.

“How do you think it’s going for them?”

We had made the decision that while Catelyn and I rode to the Reach, Ned and Robb would march west to Oxcross and over take Stafford Lannister’s recruit training camp. I was not eager to send Ned into battle without me, but the two managed to convince me that now was the right time to move.

“He will be fine, My Queen,” Jory promised leaning his head on top of mine. “You need not worry about him. Personally, I’ll be glad when I get both of our Queens out of enemy territory.”

“Renly is not my enemy, Jory,” I reasoned. “He is my brother and we will find common ground.”

“I pray that you’re right, Cass. I am not looking forward to the war that is brewing.”

We stood there by the flame and watched Catelyn’s tent in silence. When Petyr finally left, we righted ourselves and quickly ducked inside.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted the item on the table before me. My heart started beating rapidly and I could not tell if I was excited or terrified. I placed a hand on my chest as I felt a chill engulf me in a cold embrace.

Robert’s war hammer sat in front of me. The gold etchings shimmered brightly against the metallic steel. Slowly, my fingers reached out to run along the edge. I took deep breaths while trying to control the overwhelming wave of grief that washed over me.

“Petyr said that Tyrion sent it as a show of good faith. He also claimed that Tyrion would trade both of my girls for Jaime.”

So Tyrion truly was acting as the Hand until Tywin made his way to King’s Landing. We had heard rumors, but I had not thought Tywin would actually give Tyrion the responsibility.

“Well, we know he is lying.”

“I never would have thought in a million of years that Petyr Baelish would use my own daughters against me.”

I lowered my head. It was crossing a line that warranted no forgiveness. Cat looked absolutely heartbroken by these events.

“I am sorry, Cat. It is a cruel thing to do.”

Her face was pointed, cheeks sinking in slightly. Her blue eyes were filled with sadness. Her bottom lip was quivering ever so slightly.

“I should have let Brandon kill him.”

I tried to remain neutral at her words. Though, the animosity in her tone shocked me. She sounded more hateful than the day Robert found out Lyanna died.

I knew this form of betrayal. I had stood shaking in a much similar manner when I was brought before Lyanna during the rebellion. I had been filled with the same rage when I learned she willingly ran away, causing so much pain and suffering with her actions.

I gently placed my hand on her shoulder. She wiped the angry tears away from her eyes and glared at the ground. Somehow I knew exactly what was running through her mind. I could tell she was angry at herself for trusting the man.

“It is done, Cat. Now you know the true him, cut him out of your heart and your mind. He is not worth another second of your time.”

Cat nodded her head in a way that showed she was building up the strength to listen to my instructions. She quickly swiped her hand over her cheek, smearing the single tear that had been rolling down her skin.

“I- I  think I shall retire.”

“Go lie down. Rest will do you some good.”

Catelyn wasted no time in doing so. I moved a chair so that I was facing the door. There I sat, keeping vigilant watch over the Queen in the North.

The next morning we had been rushed from our tent as there was word that Stannis was laying siege on Storm’s End. The entire camp was being packed up and moving towards my childhood home. The plan was to parley with Stannis, by midday. Renly had invited Catelyn to join them. He wanted her to see how ‘rebels are dealt with’. Catelyn was able to convince Renly to agree to one escort at her side. Much to Jory’s frustration, the vote of two queens outweighed that of the Lord Commander of one’s Queensguard’s. I was to accompany Catelyn to the parley.

I grabbed Robert’s war hammer and lofted it over my shoulder. Unlike Ice, I had never carried this weapon. Robert had always said if he ever let go of it, it was because he had died.

I wondered if the hammer felt heavier because of the reality of his words. It was certainly too heavy for me to use in battle. Ice had been hard enough to swing. This beast of a weapon would not suit me in its current form. I would have to speak to Ned’s smithy about modifications once I returned to our camp if I were to ever wield it.

As we neared Storm’s End, I tried my best not to dwell on the status of the Northern military force. I trusted Ned to lead his men though that did not mean my worries were eased. I knew if I allowed myself to think about what might be happening in the West, I would lose myself to my anxieties.

Instead, I focused on preparing for what would likely be the last time me and my little brothers were all together. I knew Stannis would not bend the knee to either Renly or me. He would fight until his last breath. The best outcome I could hope for is that we cripple his forces to the point where he was forced to surrender. However, there was always the chance that in the future Stannis attacks and either Renly or I- or both of us- fall during the battle. I had been pushed to the point where I would not put much past Stannis.

After we settled at a new location, Ser Loras came to collect Catelyn and I. I handed Robert’s hammer to Jory before leaving the tent. We followed Loras all the way to Renly. Renly eyed me before turning to Cat.

“I meant to say so before, but you have an unusual uniform for your Queensguard, Your Grace.”

Catelyn gave a small smile. Our group began the journey towards the agreed upon meeting place. I stayed next to Catelyn as we rode. I wanted to block Stannis’ view of me as much as possible. I hadn’t planned on seeing him during this quest and there was a chance he would recognize my garb from when Ned wore almost identical clothing at Dragonstone.

I looked up at the castle I grew up in. Its large lone tower looked as beautiful as ever against the background of the blue sky and water that made up Shipbreaker Bay. I smiled as a memory of chasing a young Renly around the halls popped into my mind. Our Septa used to be so angry when she would catch us.

Thinking of our Septa, I looked to the sea. I sent a prayer for my late parents. Somewhere out in the bright blue water, the bones of the previous Lord and Lady Baratheon sat. We never had recovered their bodies. My father may have been cold towards me, but my mother had tried to handle me as best she could. She loved the man, so I was always sure to include him in my thoughts and prayers.

It truly had been Robert that took the best care of me. While my father had never abused me, he truly had no desire for a daughter. The man would not even receive me in his solar. Any time I needed something, I would have to send Robert in to ask on my behalf. I think ultimately that is why my parents were so eager to send me North; my father wanted me as far away from his rulings as possible. Even before my betrothal to Ned, Father would send me to Winterfell for months at a time. He never agreed that I was an official ward of Lord Rickard, but I may as well have been. Maybe that is why Stannis seemed so cold to me. Maybe it was because our father had been the same way.

Then again, Father was absent. Stannis is cruel.

We waited for Stannis’ arrival. I could tell Renly was becoming more anxious the longer we sat there. I yearned to give him words of encouragement, but I wamted to try to stay hidden until our private meeting.

When Stannis finally approached, I noticed that the Red Priestess was by his side. His men held banners behind him and I squared my jaw as I realized he truly had abandoned our house sigil in favor of our own. He kept the black stag, but now it was centered on a burning heart.

“Lady Stark,” Stannis said eventually. “I did not think to find you in the Storm Lands.”

Catelyn responded with a short, “I had not thought to be here, Lord Stannis.”

I smiled as she used ‘Lord’ instead of ‘King’, showing Renly that she was here to form an alliance with him, not Stannis. She had respected Renly’s title when we first arrived.

“Can that truly be you?” Renly asked. Stannis remained stone faced.

“Who else could it be?”

He paused and leaned to the side. He had spotted me, and more, he had recognized me.

“I see you really did come to hide behind Renly’s legs, Cassandra. It does please me some to know that I was right about you.”

Renly looked towards me with a furrowed brow. I sighed and pulled my cloak down. I then reached for the scarf and tucked it under my chin.

“Brothers,” I said, leading my horse in front of Catelyn’s. I carefully positioned myself so that we formed a triangle. “When was the last time we were all together?”

“Were you planning on revealing yourself to me, Andra?”

“Of course, Renly. This,” I said with a motion towards Stannis, “was the unplanned portion of this trip. I see you have abandoned our sigil, Stannis. What would Mother think?”

The smallest part of me felt guilty for throwing our late mother in Stannis’ face. He cherished the woman most out of us siblings. However, I could not deny the delight that coursed through me as Stannis face contorted into rage for the briefest of moments.

“The King has taken for his sigil the fiery heart of the Lord of Light,” the priestess remarked.

“You must be the fire priestess I’ve heard about. I see why you found religion in your old age, Brother,” Renly teased.

“Watch yourself, Renly.”

I leaned forward in my saddle, resting my wrists on the pommel. I studied Stannis, looking for any redemption in his eyes. His stare was cold, hard, and empty.

“Stannis, you truly follow this new god?”

Stannis shot me a glare.

“You follow the old ones. At least I believe in the power of the Lord of Light. You pray to trees because you thought it might entice a man that never chose you.”

I glared at my younger brother. Although, I had to admit the man was technically right. I had never been much of a religious woman. When Ned introduced me to the old gods as children, I had been transfixed by the tales. I learned as much as I could and visited the Godswood to study the trees. Later, when Ned and I were betrothed, I made the decision that if I were to claim a religion, it would be to follow the old gods and their ways. It was an easy choice thanks to my fascination paired with the fact that it would be most convenient to raise our children following one religion. I would never ask Ned, being the more religious of us, to abandon his faith for the Seven.

“You should both kneel before your brother. He is the Lord’s chosen, born amidst salt and smoke.”

Renly laughed at the woman in red. “What is he, a ham?”

I could not suppress my own smile at his taunt. I dramatically licked my lips as though being served a delicious plate of food slurping as I did so. Renly shot me a mischievous grin.

“That’s twice now I’ve warned you,” Stannis said, glaring at the both of us.

“You three act like children,” Catelyn remarked. “If you were my own, I’d lock you all in a room until you remembered you were siblings.”

“It is strange to find you by my brother, Lady Stark. Your husband was a supporter of my claim. He’s the one who confided in me the truth of the Lannister bastards.”

“That was until you threatened to kill his boy,” I remarked. “Ned was with me that day in Dragonstone. He heard all the vile words that came from your lips. Also, it is Queen Stark; you will do well to remember that, Little Brother.”

Stannis’ eyes flared with panic and anger for just a millisecond before his stony exterior returned. I smirked; we must be truly trying his patience.

“The Iron Throne is mine by right,” Stannis exclaimed.

“Robert broke the cycle of Baratheon succession,” I argued. “He gave me Storm’s End, formally recognizing it as my birthright. He did not care that I had tits and no cock when it came to the matter of Storm’s End and he would not now. If we are talking of true heirs, it is I, Brother, and you know it. Not even you can deny that Robert would have named me heir if he knew the truth of Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen.”

“He’s gone, Cassandra, and your supposed bannermen follow Renly. Your claim died with Robert. I suggest that you go back to Ned Stark and beg him to keep you as a scullery maid. That’s all you’re good for now. I’d say stay with Renly, but if he does not submit now, then he will die in this battle. I am the rightful king and I will cut down anyone who denies it.”

Renly bristled.

“Everyone across Westeros denies it! No one wants you as their King, Brother. You never wanted any friends, but a man without friends is a man without power.”

Stannis sat straighter in his saddle.

“For the sake of the mother that bore us, I will give you until morning to reconsider. Cassandra, I’d suggest you make yourself scarce. I do not plan on taking hostages. Come to me before dawn, and I will even name you my heir, Renly. At least until I have a son born to me.”

I wanted to wretch at the look the priestess sent towards Stannis. I barely recognized my brother anymore. It was not even two months ago when I boasted of his strength and character. Now as I looked at him, my stomach churned in disgust.

Renly stiffened his back and gestured to the mass of banners that represented him in the distance. He looked to our brother.

“Look there, Stannis. Do you see all those banners?”

“You think bolts of fabric will make you king?”

“Tyrell swords will make me king. Rowan and Tarly and Caron will make me king, with axe and mace and warhammer. Tarth arrows and Penrose lances, Fossoway, Cuy, Mullendore, Estermont, Selmy, Hightower, Oakheart, Crane, Caswell, Blackbar, Morrigen, Beesbury, Shermer, Dunn, Footly ... even House Florent, your own wife's brothers and uncles, they will make me king. All the chivalry of the south rides with me, and that is the least part of my power. My foot is coming behind, a hundred thousand swords and spears and pikes. And you will destroy me? With what, pray? That paltry rabble I see there huddled under the castle walls? I'll call them five thousand and be generous, codfish lords and onion knights and sellswords. Half of them are like to come over to me before the battle starts. You have fewer than four hundred horse, my scouts tell me-freeriders in boiled leather who will not stand an instant against armored lances. I do not care how seasoned a warrior you think you are, Stannis, that host of yours won't survive the first charge of my vanguard.”

My heart swelled with pride at Renly’s fierce words. This may have been the first time he sounded anything like a Baratheon. Sitting proudly in his saddle, a crown of gold upon his head, Renly looked like a formidable foe. He looked like Robert. Stannis must have seen the similarities as well because his brow pulled together in frustration.

“Come dawn, we will see about that, Renly. Cassandra, if you are here when I take my birthright back, I will not hesitate to hang you as a traitor. Do yourself a favor and go.”

With that, the conversation was over. Stannis led his group back towards his military forces. As our group also turned to ride away, I caught up to my baby brother.

“What are you doing here, Cassandra? I cannot have you in my camp. What would everyone think when they see that I allowed another royal fighting for the Iron Throne inside my military encampment? Calling Catelyn ‘Queen’ is one thing, but sheltering you is entirely another. You must go.”

“Let’s talk when we get back,” I suggested. “I have a proposition that I’d like to bring to you in private. I’ll remain hidden until then.”

Renly gave me a look of disbelief, but he did not argue.

That evening, Renly saw both Catelyn and I in his tent. He was still wearing his armor and crown as we sat on the opposite sides of his desk. I pulled down my face scarf and smiled.

“I’m proud of you, Renly,” I complimented. “You have done some amazing work here. Robert would be impressed.”

Renly watched me with distrustful eyes. I sighed and lowered my cloak as well.

“Truly, Brother. I did not know that you had it in you to lead. Rule, yes, but lead? I thought you would fall short, especially once I heard how many men were at your disposal. I am so glad that I was wrong. It is not easy to command that many troops and you have done well.”

“That means… that means the world coming from you, Andra,” Renly said, finally letting his guard down. “I only ever wanted to make you and Robert proud. You two were the only parental figures I had. I may have spent the most time with Stannis, but as you can see, he was never loving towards me. Robert was harsh, but he taught me much while I was in King’s Landing. And you- you protected me and loved me. You gave up any hope for your own future and married me, simply so that I could continue my… relationship. I owe you a great deal, Sister.”

I reached my hand out, silently asking for his. He willingly grabbed my hand, clasping it between his own.

“With all that said, I will not give up the crown,” he said, returning the conversation to the dragon in the room. “I cannot after everything our bannermen have done.”

“Renly, do you accept that Robert left Storm’s End to me?”

Renly sighed, pulling his hands from mine. He leaned back in his chair.

“Of course I do, Cass. After we had our conversation, I assumed you would follow me to Storm’s End. I hadn’t expected you to save Ned and go to the Riverlands. When you never showed, I figured Cersei had you and was withholding the information. So I called the banners.”

“If you thought Cersei had me, why not raise the banners in my name and ride to my rescue? Instead, you decided to seize the opportunity to remove me from my own seat.”

“Cass, you wanted to give the kingdom to Cersei.”

My temper getting the better of me, I banged my first on the table, causing him and Catelyn to both flinch.

“Don’t you ever accuse me of wanting to help the woman that killed our brother. What I wanted was a moment to grieve the man that helped shape who I am. You wouldn’t even allow me that peace. I told you to stand behind Ned, Renly.”

“Ned was doomed, Cass. The second he arrived at King’s Landing he was doomed. He played the game wrong, Sister. I know you think highly of the man, but he would not have lasted as long as he did without you. I am glad you got him back to his family, but you abandoned the responsibility of Storm’s End. I had to do something.”

“And now, Renly? Will you give me my seat back? Will you tell my bannermen of the truth you know in your heart? Will you recognize me as the true Lady of Storm’s End?”

Renly stiffened. He shook his head in the smallest of movements.

“I will not. These men rely on me. We are preparing for battle. Margaery is promised to be Queen. I can’t just take it back, Andra.”

I sighed. I had known that would be the likely answer. I took a breath as I prepared to give up the only prize I could possibly offer to Renly.

“If I am to be queen and sit on the Iron Throne, I will need marry and then produce heirs,” I stated. “And likewise, if you are to be king you will also need heirs.”

“Our marriage has already been annulled,” Renly assured. He poured us some wine. Catelyn took her glass but did not raise it to her lips. “You are free to marry almost whomever your heart desires. To the few years of our holy matrimony.”

“We had a good run,” I said with a laugh. “But I am not here to ask for an annulment.”

Renly tilted his head to the side. “So then?”

“Have you slept with your queen yet?”

Renly’s eyes darted to Catelyn and then to Brienne. I had my answer.

“It’s violating, isn’t it? Having someone you do not love touch you in that way? Having them try to get to the most intimate areas of your body?”

Renly remained silent. He understood the feeling I described.

“I propose that you bend the knee to me. Let me win the throne, Renly, and I will name you my heir. Unlike Stannis, I will not try to produce a replacement. You would be next in line. I am proud of you brother, but you have not yet seen a battle. Let me do this hard part, let me set up the realm for success, and you take over upon my death.”

“And what do I get out of this? I can have the Iron Throne at the end of this war rather than the end of your life. You are only ten years my elder; I would not have much time on the throne if I waited for you to die.”

“Learn from me, Renly. With you as heir, you would have the right to sit on any of my councils. Stand by my side and learn to fight a war; let Ned and I teach you of strategy. Allow me to pave the way. Once you wear the crown, things will change. You will have too many eyes watching you at all times. Take advantage of living the royal experience without the kingly responsibilities.

“I would give Ser Loras a place on the Queensguard if it would please him. Jory would assign him to protect only you. You would not need to sleep with Margaery for some time. We can worry about your heirs later on. You would have your freedom still, Renly. You never know, I might find my way to an early grave. You will be king, Renly, eventually. Until that time comes, you will be Prince of Storm’s End.”

Renly sat in contemplation. I reached my hand across the table and set it on his forearm.

“Allow me to win us the throne. With the strength of the Stormlands and the aid of the North, we will win.”

“You would separate our brother’s kingdoms? Simply because you long for the Northern king? I mean no offense, Queen Catelyn.”

Catelyn stayed neutral.

“Renly, the North already wanted their independence. By the time Ned and I arrived there was no going back. If it ends with a peaceful outcome, then that is the choice I will make for the safety of the realm. The quicker this war ends, the better. Winter is coming and we need the North to survive it. We will not make it through if we are at odds with them. Starks and Baratheons have fought side by side time and time again. Why not try ruling side by side for a change?”

Renly watched me for a moment. I squeezed his arm. I made sure he could see the love I felt for him as I said the next words.

“Allow me to continue protecting you.”

There was a brief moment of silence. Then Renly stood and walked to a tall looking glass. Brienne followed and helped remove his armor. I met Renly’s reflected gaze.

“I love you, Andra, but I also respect you immensely. I did not have time to know the mother and father that sired me. You and Robert filled those roles to the best of your abilities. I’ve always wanted to prove myself to you both. If you say that I have, then I am content in the matter. I can wait to wear a crown, especially if it means that I will still have my big sister in my life. You have the support of the Stormlands, Your Grace.”

My heart began racing as he said the words. This was truly happening. I had hoped against all odds that this would be our outcome, but I had not dared to think it would come to fruition. A wide smile slowly crept onto my face. I stood to my feet, ready to embrace my brother.

As I took a step towards him, a strong breeze began blowing. The hairs on my arms began to stand as I was surrounded by a sense of true evil. I paused when I felt a chill run down my spine. Something treacherous was on the wind. When I heard Cat gasp, I turned to follow her gaze.

There was a misty shadow traveling along the floor. Instinctively, I grabbed a dagger and threw it, but the blade only fell into dirt. It did not penetrate whatever evil had found its way into the tent. And it was heading towards Renly.

I went to go to my brother, but strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me off of my feet. Unable to move, I watched in absolute horror as the shadow manifested itself into a perfect silhouette of Stannis. He stood directly behind Renly.

What kind of sorcery does his priestess use?

Shadow Stannis formed a blade and plunged it into the heart of my baby brother. Time seemed to slow as the shadow dissipated and Renly turned to face me, blood already trickling from his lips.

I let out an unholy scream as I kicked away from the arms restraining me. I could not be bothered to feel guilty as I heard Jory’s grunt of pain. I simply took advantage of his loosened grip and lunged for my brother. I made it to Renly and caught him in my arms before he fell. I lowered him gently to the floor, looking for any life left in his eyes.

There was none.

I was unable to breathe as I held him. My mouth was open, but no air passed through. Finally, when my body began to panic, my brain forced myself to take a large breath in. I bit the inside of my lip so roughly that I drew blood as I tried to process what had just happened.

I looked at Renly’s young face. Twenty-three years on this world and he was gone in a moment. I stroked my thumb along his bearded cheek. I suddenly had an overwhelming feeling that I would never know happiness again. When it became too painful to look at his lifeless features, I placed my ear to his left breast. The silence in his chest was the final straw before the tears started flowing.

I heard commotion behind me, but it sounded as though I was underwater. I could not make out voices. I could not bring myself to care. I simply kneeled there, bent over my baby brother’s chest, and wept.

When a hand rested on my shoulder, I looked up to see Catelyn’s apologetic eyes. She said something but I couldn’t hear it. I closed my own eyes and tried to collect myself. Under my eyelids lay the image of Renly’s face with empty eyes staring up at me.

Catelyn shook my shoulder, causing me to force my eyes back open. I grabbed her hand with my own, the feeling of warm skin under the pads of my fingers bringing me a little closer to reality. I sat back on my knees and looked up at her.

“This doesn’t look good for us,” she said. Her voice sounded far away. “We need to go.”

I looked behind me to see Brienne, tears streaming down her own face, standing over two slain Baratheon men. Jory was standing on the opposite side of the bodies, sword drawn. Blood dripped from his blade.

“If we flee,” I said, not recognizing the sound of my voice, “they will say we are guilty. I should stay and try to reason with Loras. Otherwise we will never have the aid of the Stormlands.”

“No,” Jory stated firmly. “We’ve just killed two guards and I already hear more footsteps closing in. We go now, Cassandra. No one will believe us when they see this scene, not even the Knight of Flowers.”

“As your queen, Ser Jory, I command that you take Lady Brienne and Queen Catelyn and go,” I told him wistfully. “Leave me. I will speak to Loras.”

Jory walked over and grabbed me by the arm. He lifted me away from Renly and bent so that our faces were level. My eyes drifted over his scar before meeting his fierce gaze.

“With all due respect, Your Grace,” he said, “piss off.”

In one fluid motion, Jory swept me up and threw me over his shoulder. He signaled for Brienne to lead the way. I slammed my fists on his back in frustration. I hadn’t not realized how quickly my words would come to bite me in the arse.

“This is a mistake,” I tried again. “Stannis will gain the strength of these men.”

“If I remember hearing right, King Stark said we did not need his army if it risked losing you as queen,” Jory shot back.

“Delivering them to Stannis is not what he meant, Jory! What good is my claim to the throne if I cannot even take my home back?”

“If you stay, Cass, you will also be delivered to Stannis. After what we just saw, I am not prepared to let your brother decide your fate.”

“You- you saw it too?”

“Aye. I felt something was amiss so I ducked into the tent. I saw the shadow man. It was very clearly Stannis.”

I closed my eyes at the confirmation of my suspicions. It had been the figure of my little brother. I wanted to be angry, but my broken heart was too fresh. All I felt was grief consuming me.

I let myself go limp in Jory’s grip. I did not want to be strong, not anymore. I simply wanted Ned. I wanted his arms around me, I wanted his comforting words, and most importantly I wanted to be with the only person I knew that would understand this pain. Renly was to me what Lyanna had been to Ned. If there were anyone that could convince me that life would go on without him, it was Ned.

Eventually the group found our horses. Knowing that I shouldn’t fight him for simply doing his duty, I lifted myself into the saddle before Jory had to figure out how to get me on the horse. Next, Jory climbed up, sitting behind me. He shifted until he found the most comfortable position for us both.

“Rest now, my queen. You need it after this horrible act. Do not worry; I have you.”

For Jory’s sake, I tried my hardest to close my eyes. Almost every time I shut my eyelids, I saw Renly’s face. A few times it was Robert’s. But the time that I closed them to see Lyanna, covered in blood and clutching onto my arm, I knew that I would not know sleep until I felt safe again. There was only one place I’d get the sense of security I needed. I would have to wait until I was with Ned to find my peace.

I leaned back, resting against Jory. I tilted my head so it rested on his shoulder. I lost myself to my thoughts as I stared up at the night sky.

Chapter Text

Ned

I held the small parchment in one hand, rolling it around my index finger. The raven had brought news of Renly’s passing as well as Stannis’ successful siege of Storm’s End. Whoever Andra’s man was on the inside of the Stormlands, they claimed that she was named the guilty party when her dagger was found near Renly’s body.

My heart ached as I thought of my poor Andra. I knew this loss would be the one to break her. I could only imagine which version of Cassandra would be coming home to me. She had held herself together with the death of Robert, only crying a few times for him. Renly was another story entirely. I had wanted vengeance when Brandon died, but when my little sister, Lyanna, passed, I had been on the verge of collapse.

I was supposed to protect her and I had failed. I did not believe that I would ever forget the way Lyanna clung to me at the end, saying how scared she was. Andra had climbed into the birthing bed with her and stroked her hair to comfort my sister until her final breath.

After her passing, I had felt as though the world was over. It was Andra who held me as I wept into her, Andra who handed Jon to me for the first time, and Andra who had told me that Lyanna would not want me to give up.

I knew that this was when I had to be there for Cass most of all. She would rely on me and I was determined to be the man she needed to lean on.

There was a knock at the door. I sighed and threw the scroll onto the pile of other bad news that ravens had brought. I stood up and fixed my belt before walking over and opening the wooden door.

I opened it to find Robb. I turned back towards the desk, gesturing for him to follow. I sat in the seat that had previously been Lord Marbrand’s. In addition to a successful battle at Oxcross, we had also taken the castle of Ashemark.

“Father, I think we should move on to take the Crag.”

I raised an eyebrow and leaned over the map of Westeros on the desk. I ran my finger along the canvas until I found the Crag. It was not very far northwest from where we were. It would be an easy enough victory.

“The men should rest, Robb. We block the way so that Tywin cannot easily reinforce the castle. There will be time later on.”

“If I may, Father, it would be an easy win. Allow me to take a group of the younger men- maybe five thousand- and Grey Wind. We’ll take the castle and further restrict Tywin’s grip in the wastelands, allowing our younger soldiers to get battle experience. We would close in on Casterly Rock from the north. After we take it, we can move down to Deep Den. We would start surrounding the lions in their own home.”

I glanced at Robb before looking at the map once more. He had the mind for strategy. I was proud to say that he took my teachings and improved upon them.

“The Crag will have light fortifications and reports of their calvary is less than 6,000. Take seven thousand of our youngest and most rested. Have Smalljon and Black Walder join you to help command that many troops.”

Robb nodded. He turned to leave but the door flung open to reveal Catelyn. I smiled gently when I saw her. I was glad to know she made it back safely. Out of respect for her, I did not ask the immediate question at the front of my mind.

Where’s Andra?

Catelyn embraced Robb tightly before pulling away.

“You look as though you are going somewhere, Robb.”

“Off to another battle, I’m afraid, Mother. I’ll be back before long.”

He placed a small kiss to his Cat’s forehead before taking his leave. When the door shut behind him, Cat turned to me. We had not shared any form of physical contact since the night I was crowned King in the North. I was surprised when she neared me, wrapping her arms around my torso. I placed a hand lightly on her shoulder, unsure of what else to do.

“I’m glad you made it back safe.”

“As am I, Ned,” Cat looked up at me with her bright blue eyes. “You sent Robb on his own?”

“It’s a small castle,” I reasoned, “he will be fine.”

Cat nodded and removed herself from me. “I am sorry. I suppose that was out of habit.”

“Cat,” I said gently, “I am still your husband. If you need comfort, then I will do my best to provide it.”

She smiled sadly.

“You are kind, Ned, but this trip has taught me that you were never mine. I think I have finally come to terms with the revelation since we last saw each other.”

I frowned.

What in the hells did that mean?

“How was Renly?” I asked. I wanted to bring up Andra in a natural way, regardless of any terms Catelyn had come to.

“Good, until the end. She needs you, Ned. She hasn’t spoken, she hasn’t eaten, she hasn’t even slept since we left Renly’s encampment. You must go to Cassandra. Our Southern Queen cannot fall before her reign truly begins.”

I regarded my wife for just a moment. I was not sure what to expect from the two women when they returned home. Honestly, I prepared myself for the same behavior, maybe even more distance between them. These compliments and convictions were not what I had in mind.

Once I saw the true concern in Cat’s eyes, I nodded.

“Where is she?”

“Ser Jory should be able to escort you.”

I raised an eyebrow. I suppose he was Ser now, though it felt almost unnatural. I stepped through the door, where Jory stood waiting.

“Shouldn’t you be with your queen, Ser?”

Jory just rolled his eyes at my taunt before turning away. I grinned as I followed behind him. He led me through the castle until we finally made it to a hallway of doors. Jory stopped at the end of the hall and tilted his head towards the room he stood in front of.

I placed my hand on the door and pushed. It cracked open. I could hear light sniffling from inside. I turned back to Jory.

“I do not want any interruptions unless it is an absolute emergency and coming from you directly.”

Jory nodded firmly. I walked in to find a dark room save for a few candles lit around the area. There was a chill but the fire was not lit. I shut the door behind me, closing us off to the world.

I could see Andra’s form curled up on the four poster bed. Her back was to me and she had a mound of blankets over her. I paused as I looked around the room. She was craving comfort. The darkness, opting for a cold room so that she can bundle herself in warm cloths, even the way her head was shoved under the blankets were all usual signs of Andra enjoying her atmosphere.

I unbuckled my cloak and tossed it onto the armchair. I continued stripping until I was left in my britches and tunic. If this is what she needed, I would not cause a rift in her comfort. Lastly, I kicked off my boots.

I pulled the covers, slowly prying the quilts away from the den she created for herself. I slid behind her, scooting so that she was pressed against me. One hand tangled itself in her hair and the other went to encircle her waist. Her tunic had ridden up so the pads of my fingers followed her warm skin from one hip to the other.

“I’m sorry, my love,” I whispered. “I know what he meant to you.”

Andra stayed quiet. I sighed and kissed her covered shoulder. I then laid my forehead against the fabric where my lips had touched. Andra would talk when she was ready. For now, I would make sure she knew I was there with her. I ran my hand up and down her side, slowly and gently.

Silently, the minutes slipped by. I could feel my own eyes beginning to droop as I lay there. She had created a cozy den of peace. Eventually, I heard the smallest whisper in a low raspy tone.

“I failed, Ned. I failed Renly, I failed your supporters, I failed you.”

“Shh,” I cooed, nuzzling the side of my face against hers, “you did not fail us. Do not put Renly’s death on your shoulders.”

Andra turned so that we were front to front. He stared up at me with her tear stained cheeks and shiny eyes.

“The last thing I said to him was to allow me to protect him. Then I didn’t do that. I don’t think I even told him I loved him during our last conversation.”

Her tears started falling freely then. She covered her face in an attempt to hide herself from me. I pulled her close, squeezing her in an embrace.

“Hush now,” I instructed, “Do not dwell on what you could have done, but instead what we will do. Renly knew you loved him, Cass. He and Robert are feasting together as we lay here.”

I held her for a long while as she wept into me. I continued to say words of comfort into her ear. Her head was tucked into my chest, so I rested my chin on the top of it. I watched as the evening sun began to set. The days were getting shorter. Winter would be upon us soon enough

Eventually, Andra’s body stopped shaking with every breath and her small cries died down. She looked up at me, tears drying on her cheeks. I tucked her hair back behind her ear.

“Will it stop?”

“No,” I admitted. “The pain will never end. You learn to live with it. Sometimes, if you’re with the right person, you can even forget it for a little while.”

Andra’s hand found its way to my beard. I could feel her fingers burrowing into the course hair until she found the bone of my jaw. She lightly scratched the area, causing the faintest of smiles to form on my lips.

“You should have seen him, Ned,” she whispered. “He looked just like Robert at that age.”

My smiled grew. I did not doubt it. There were times when he would walk past me in the capital and it was as though I had seen the ghost of young Robert. The resemblance was uncanny.

“I wish I had been there to see it.”

After a minute of silence, Andra wiggled her body as though she had a bug crawling on her. She placed her hands on her face and massaged the skin before pulling them backwards, taking her hair back with the motion. She took a deep breath before nodding to herself.

“Tell me any updates that I missed. I need a distraction.”

That was my girl. I should have had more faith that she would not let herself fall to ruin. Of course this had not taken the fight out of her.

“Stannis has taken Storm’s End,” I informed her. 

“And all the banners, I assume,” she responded with a nod.

“Aye. There are a few that are undeclared, but most have bent the knee to Stannis.”

“I had it, Ned,” she whispered. “I had the Stormlands in my grasp. Renly bent the knee for me. Not even seconds later, he was gone.”

She had gotten him to back her claim? Is there nothing this woman could not do?

“What did you offer him?”

“The Throne. I told him that I would name him as my heir.”

I nodded. I should have known that would be her plan; it seemed so obvious now. I squeezed her again.

“I’m sorry, love,” I repeated. “What happened?”

“Stannis,” she replied.

The pure hatred that came with her words made me pause for just a moment. My kind and gentle Andra had been fierce during the rebellion, even going as far as to brand men with hot irons the one time, but she had never been hateful. This was a new emotion and I despised Stannis for bringing it out of her.

“He was there?”

“No, there was some kind of shadow form of him that I suspect his red priestess conjured. My dagger could not pierce it. He is relying on witchcraft to win this war. Not even my dagger could pierce the conju”

“Ah, so that’s why your dagger was found.”

Andra furrowed her brow in confusion. “Oh, I suppose I did not pick it up.”

“They claim you killed him because they found the blade. Evidently, an engraved ‘CB’ under a Stag is easily identifiable.”

“Renly’s supporters claim that I killed my baby brother because they found a clean dagger on the ground feet away from his body?”

I sighed. Anyone who knew Andra would know that it was a ridiculous notion. Sadly, the realm did not know her as much else other than a warrior. I stroked her hair, likely comforting myself more than her.

The realm will know her as I do. They will know her as the queen that she has always been.

“From what your source wrote, Loras Tyrell is the only one claiming Stannis is the culprit.”

She nodded against the pillow.

“I told Jory I should have stayed and spoken to Loras myself. He would have known that I could never harm Renly in such a way. Whether or not he would have believed Renly planned to bend the knee is another matter entirely. I think Renly’s death will accomplish little more than prolonging the war. The realm will truly suffer this Winter. Preparations should be made for the people’s sake and I have no way to make them.”

Even now, consumed by grief, Andra still shouldered the burden of the crown. My lip tugged upward just slightly. Every conversation since she’s been crowned has further proven to me that I made the right choice. The North aligned themselves with the only one Robert would have wanted on the throne.

“We can send men back to tend to the harvests.”

“The North can provide for the North,” Andra said, rolling back over and scooting back so that we were once again nestled against each other. “They cannot provide for my kingdom.”

“It’s not your kingdom until you sit on the Iron Throne. Let the false king take care of them until then.”

She looked at me over her shoulder.

“Why would the realm accept me if Joffrey is the one to provide? Which he likely won’t. They’ll make sure the Keep is stocked and they’ll probably forget about all the rest.”

“Then the realm will hate him and be ready to follow a queen that is loving and kind and beautiful and joyful and intelligent and amusing and fierce and-“

I stopped when Andra reached her hand behind and tried to playfully swat my face. I smiled and grabbed her hand, bringing it to my lips.

“I do have some bad news of my own,” I admitted.

She immediately turned her body back towards me. Her worried eyes shone brightly in the candlelight. They drifted up and down, taking me in.

“I’m fine,” I assured her. “It’s Theon Greyjoy.”

“Oh? Is he still trying to talk you into asking Balon for help?”

“No,” I said with a sigh. “He went missing after that ordeal. I found out the next morning that no one had seen him. I sent men to find him, but the boy practically disappeared.”

“You believe he went to Balon,” Andra observed. I nodded.

“Aye, I do. I’ve sent ravens but no one has seen any sign of him.”

“Have you sent a raven to Balon?”

“I reminded him that Theon is a ward of mine and that if he does not send the boy back to me it would be taken as a slight and crime against the royal crown of the North.”

Andra watched me for a second, her teeth catching on her bottom lip. I do not know if she realized that her leg came up to wrap around my own, but I certainly did not miss it. This woman was clearly attracted to a man in power and I was happy to entertain her fantasies.

I absolutely adore the way her body responds to me.

“Then we shall see the choice Balon makes.”

“We already know the choice he will make,” I countered.

Andra stayed silent. She knew I was right. Her eyes closed and she snuggled closer into my arms. I ran a hand down her back, forcing myself to refrain from going any lower than that.

“Lastly, the Targaryen girl has dragons,” I informed her. “Three to be exact.”

“That’s amazing,” Andra breathed out. “She brought dragons back to this world. I’ve always been fascinated by them.”

I pulled away from her slightly so that I could look down at her.

“Cassandra Baratheon, you have never once disclosed a fascination with dragons to me.”

“My grandmother on my father’s side was a Targaryen princess- of course I’m fascinated with dragons. She died when I was young, but not before she had told me all the different stories regarding the days that dragons lived. It would be absolutely amazing to witness a dragon take flight.”

I smiled to myself. I often forgot Robert and Andra were both descendants of the Targaryen line. With how much Robert hated everything about House Targaryen, it was easy to do so. None of them looked Targaryen and, to that point, Andra barely resembled a Baratheon. Her brown hair and eyes stood apart from their usually prominent black hair and blue eyes.

As I looked at her, I once again found myself getting lost in her…everything. Her beauty, her sense of wonder, and in that moment specifically, the way her leg wound around mine. My mind briefly drifted to the direwolf sigil branded into her thigh.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Eddard?”

Against my better judgment, I dropped my hand to her backside and pinched. She yelped, lurching closer to me to escape the grip my forefinger and thumb had on her skin. I grinned as she brought her hand up to tug on my beard.

“Don’t call me ‘Eddard’.”

“You fuck,” she accused, a grin on her lips.

I smiled. She had a way of making me feel like a young man again. All the horrors I’ve seen in my lifetime seemed to drift away when she was near. I felt lighter, less solemn, and loved. She did more for me than milk of the poppy ever had. She was an addiction that I never wanted to cure.

“I do fuck,” I said, pulling her close. “Would you like me to show you how?”

It was only a jest, but the blush that quickly rose to her cheeks made me realize that I made a mistake. I wanted nothing else other than to take her then and there. I could feel my growing erection and by the way her eyes widened and her mouth opened with a small gasp, Andra could as well.

So then maybe it wasn’t only a jest.

I knew I had to get out of that bed before I did something drastic- such as taking the virginity of the Queen that will sit atop the Iron Throne, likely ruining any chance at a peaceful marriage for her.

That, I would categorize as drastic.

And yet the more I tried to convince myself to leave, the heavier my body felt. My legs would not unwind from hers, my hand would not move away from the roundest curve of her arse, and my cock could not stop hardening for this woman. This was a war of will, and I was rapidly losing it.

“Andra,” I begged, moving so that I leaned over her just slightly. “Tell me to go.”

“No,” she said, bringing her hands to the collar of my tunic. “I don’t think I will.”

I groaned and slid my hand from her rear to her thigh. Unfortunately, the fabric that covered her legs was thin and my fingertips could feel the raised skin of the sigil through it. I thought of the way the red brand looked against her sun-kissed skin. The memory was all it took for me to fall over the edge.

My mouth found Andra’s in the dim light. Her soft lips caressed my own in the sweetest way. She tasted of berries and sugar. Wanting so much more, I slid my tongue along her bottom lip and did not hesitate to take advantage of the way she parted her lips for me.

Using both hands, I rolled us so that Andra was resting on top of me. I was almost giddy at the way she straddled my hips. Her hair fell around her, blocking some of her face from my view. I held her by the waist, waiting for her to make the next move. I was ready to winky myself into her, but I wanted Andra to feel that she had all the power in this situation. I thought she might lean down to kiss me or maybe remove herself from me entirely.

I had not expected her to grind downwards, putting pressure against my already aching cock. I was unable to suppress the moan that left me as my head tilted back. The little giggle that came from her helped me form the resolve to never attempt to hide any noise from her.

“If we do this, there’s no going back. I won’t go back,” I warned. “You will be mine and I will be yours.”

Her eyes found mine.

“I’ve always been yours,” she said, “And in some way, I know that you’ve always been mine.”

“Always,” I confirmed. I sat up to meet her lips once more, placing my arms behind me for support.

Her hands had never left the collar of my tunic. They began to roam lower and I happily gave my assistance when she went to remove the fabric. I stopped then, simply wanting to watch her. She had seen me without a tunic before, but the way she looked at me now was different.

Andra roamed her hands over my arms and torso, curling some of my chest hairs around her finger tips. Her gaze met mine.

“Every bit of reason in my mind is telling me to stop this,” she confessed. I nodded in understanding.

“We can stop if you’d like, Cass. That’s okay.”

Her brows knit together.

“I never said that,” she said, lightly taking her nails over the expanse of my chest.

“Fuck, woman,” I growled, raising my hips into her. “The things you do to me.”

I began pulling up her own tunic, determined to get my mouth on her breast. She knew exactly what I wanted because she pushed the cloth back down. When I met her gaze to see if she wanted to stop, she wiggled downwards, sending another wave of need straight to my member. I began to remove her tunic once more and this time she allowed it. When her breasts bounced before me, I knew I was a doomed man. This image would be seared in my mind until the end of my days. I was about to lunge towards her like a wolf to its prey but then everything came to an abrupt halt.

When a loud knock sounded at the door, I nearly threw Andra off me to go swing Ice at whoever interrupted us. Instead, I gently laid Andra to the side, kissing her one more time before getting to my feet. I slipped my tunic back over my body. I opened the door to see Jory with apologetic eyes.

“I am sorry, Your Grace, but apparently there is a man downstairs wanting to speak to the Queen. He is adamant that he sees her right away.”

I looked towards Andra. She was braiding her hair in the candlelight with an enticing smile on her lips. I signaled for her to come over to me. Her smile dropped to a less sultry one and she crawled off the bed.

Jory smiled when Andra came up next to me.

“You look in better spirits, my queen. It is good to see so.”

“Ser Jory tells me that there is a man downstairs adamant about speaking with you.”

Andra tilted her head to the side. “Who?”

Jory looked at me warily. My eyebrows rose. Whoever it was, Jory certainly did not wish to disclose it with me present.

“He did not give the guards a name, Cass. According to them, he simply said he was here to accept your proposal.”

Andra closed her eyes and pressed two of her fingers into her temple.

“Shit,” she cursed. “I am sorry, Ned. I hadn’t received a raven so I had thought he was declining the offer .”

“What proposal?” I pushed for more information.

Andra wouldn’t meet my eyes. I knew nothing good was about to happen next. My stomach dropped as I prepared for the answer.

“Apparently,” Jory said, looking to his queen, “he speaks of a marriage proposal.”

I wanted to laugh, but Andra was still avoiding my gaze.

“He’s not- he’s not serious?”

“I wanted to find a husband quickly in order to solidify my claim. It is easier for the people to accept a queen if she has a king consort by her side. It eases their minds.”

“Andra, you said you met with every eligible suitor. You claimed you did not love any of them. Tell me you are not just selling yourself like a common wh-“

I abruptly stopped myself. Benjen had warned that my hot-headiness would get me into trouble one day. When Andra’s furious gaze finally snapped to mine, I knew today was that day. She pushed me back into the room and- rather impressively- slammed the large wooden door closed, blocking Jory from our view.

“A what, Ned?”

I stayed silent, squaring my jaw.

“Say it.”

I would not.

“I fucking dare you,” she challenged. “Finish your sentence.”

“I will not, Cassandra.”

“Like a common whore,” she finished for me.

I flinched at the words.

“Tell me. Why does doing this for a political alliance make me a whore but when you did it for the same, it was honorable?”

“It is because I did so that I know how it feels,” I argued truthfully. “I slept with a woman I did not truly love nor feel any attraction for because I believed I was making the right choice. Believe me, Andra, after seventeen years it still makes someone feel like little more than a whore. You deserve better than that life.”

Her gaze softened. She bit her lip as she looked up at me. Finally, she spoke.

“There was one suitor that I thought I could make a marriage work with. When I decided I would need to finally marry- truly marry- I wrote to him. I’ve made my choice, Ned, just as you did a week before our wedding.”

With that, she grabbed her boots and threw them on. She opened the door and began down the hall. Jory met my eyes briefly before following behind her.

I watched as the pair walked towards the staircase. It hurt enough when Andra walked away from me. Knowing that I may have to watch her walk down an aisle and into another man’s arms might break me entirely.

I took a breath and squared my shoulders. I grabbed the rest of my clothing and began dressing. I situated Ice and made for the door.

Let’s go see the man she chose.

Chapter Text

I led Jory down the staircase. I could tell he had something he wanted to say so I paused on a step.

“What is it?”

He looked panicked for a moment before shaking his head.

“I am only the Lord Commander of your Queensguard. It is not my place to question you.”

I rolled my eyes.

“That has not stopped you since taking the oath.”

“That was different. That had to do with your safety, not your life choices. I will not question you in this, My Queen.”

I studied him for a moment before continuing down the stairs.

“You don’t understand why I reached out to arrange a marriage pact.”

“I understand that you need to secure your crown and produce heirs, but I thought the intention was after you’ve taken your throne.”

“That was the intention,” I reassured him. “If he’s truly here to accept my proposal, then one of the terms he is bringing me is a quick wedding. I understand given his family’s recent history with the Iron Throne.”

“And if you happen to have a child during this war?”

“That is not something we need to worry about.”

I kept my eyes ahead of me as we made it to the door that would lead to the great hall. Jory stepped in front of me and opened the door. I squeezed his arm in thanks as I walked past him.

“I must admit, Cass, I am quite curious to see who this mystery man is.”

“You’re in for a treat, Jory. He’s a fun one,” I promised with a laugh.

I crossed the expanse of the large hall. I was not sure how much my old suitor had changed since I last saw him. I hadn’t communicated with him in years, not since we made the mutual decision to end our courtship, but I was sure he was the same free spirit. In fact, this whole proposal was founded on his free spirit.

The guards posted at the front opened the doors when I approached. It had began raining, so when I saw the man drenched I could not contain my laughter. This man, tanned from his days in the sun, looked so out of place in the wet Westerlands. He was made for sand, not forests.

Oberyn Martell looked as handsome as ever. His hair had a few silver streaks since the last time I saw him. He wore his normal yellow layered ensemble along with a cloak that was held together by a metal brooch of his sigil. I could not believe this man had come all the way to the Westerlands; he normally stayed in Dorne or the Free Cities.

“Ah! There’s my queen,” Oberyn said walking into the hall. “These Northmen must hold a lot of respect for you. They would not even let me inside to cover from the rain.”

“Well, if you weren’t so stubborn and gave them your name instead of expecting everyone to recognize a Dornish man they’ve never seen, you’d probably make it inside the building.”

Oberyn grinned. “I’ve missed you, my northern beauty.”

He grabbed me and squeezed me against his wet body. I groaned and tried to push away but he only tightened his grip on me.

“No, no, you can share in my discomfort,” he stated.

I laughed as he finally loosened his grip to let me go. I gestured to Jory.

“Oberyn, this is the Lord Commander of my Queensguard, Ser Jory Cassel.”

Oberyn raised an eyebrow. “Cassel? That’s a Northern name, no? What did Lady, or should I say Queen, Cassandra do that turned your loyalty? I’ve always heard Northmen are loyal only to the North.”

Jory smiled politely, yet not at all in the friendly way I’ve grown accustomed to.

“I owed her a life debt. The fact that she is good and kind made the decision to repay her even easier.”

I smiled slightly. Jory’s tone was short and to the point. His eyes were steel as he stared at Oberyn, his facial expression was devoid of emotion. I definitely would not want to ever meet this side of Jory on a battlefield. This was the Lord Commander of my Queensguard and I knew without a doubt, I had made the right selection.

I felt eyes on me so I turned to meet Ned’s gaze. His grey irises were practically stones. There wasn’t a single emotion I could pick up on from them. The only indication of what he was feeling was the way his lip curved downward just a tiny bit.

I gently nudged Oberyn. He followed my gaze towards the Northern King and then glanced back to me, a wide grin spreading across his face. He grabbed my arm and led me over to Ned, dripping water all along the way.

“Ah! If it isn’t the famous walking corpse, Eddard Stark!”

“Prince Oberyn Martell of Dorne, I presume by the sigil,” Ned responded. “I’ve heard stories of your fighting skills. I’m not sure we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.”

His tone was polite, but it certainly did not feel as though this was a pleasure for him.

“I don’t get out of Dorne much,” Oberyn admitted with a smile. “But when this northern beauty wrote to me offering her hand in marriage, how could I not come straight away? Any man would be a fool not to seize the opportunity to wed Andra Baratheon, wouldn’t you agree?”

Oberyn tilted his head to the side in mock inquisition. Ned bristled at the slight. I bit my lip, wishing I had gotten the chance to prepare Ned for this. Oberyn was good at pushing buttons. I knew the man meant well, but not everyone was as understanding.

“Oberyn,” I interjected, “why don’t we get you settled? I’m sure we both could use a good night’s rest.”

“Do my husbandly privileges begin tonight? If so, we will not be resting,” he said, nuzzling his nose into my neck. His fingers began to intertwine with mine.

Gods, he’s laying it on thick. Then again, what did I expect from Oberyn Martell?

I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand away from him. I used my palm to push his face away from me.

“You won’t have any privileges until we go over the terms of our union. Jory, please take the Prince to the room across from my chambers.”

“Ah, my heart already misses you,” Oberyn called as he followed Jory out of the room.

I could not help but smile. Yes, I think I missed having Oberyn in my life. Although, we would need to establish ground rules regarding the public displays of affection.

“So, you chose a Dornish man who absolutely hates your family for a husband?”

Ned’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“No,” I corrected Ned, “I chose a second son who is a ferocious warrior that has a burning need to avenge his sister. Sound familiar?”

I raised an eyebrow towards Ned. He only stared back at me, unamused. I sighed and reached my hand to his chest, making sure the action was blocked from the guards’ views. Ned let out a breath through his nostrils before covering my hand with his own.

“If this is truly what makes you happy, Andra, then that is all I care about.”

“Of course I won’t be happy. I will never love another man, Ned. My heart and soul are bound to yours whether I like it or not. I have tried to court others and Oberyn is the only one who came close to offering me a life I thought I could be content with. He will sire as many children as I have need for, he will fight for me, and most importantly, he will treat me exactly as I want to be treated by a man that is not you. It will be good.”

“And what of us? Is this the end? You tell me that you have always been mine, fully prepared to give me all of you and not even a half hour later, it is null?”

I glanced behind me. The guards were at their post by the door. I sighed and turned back to look at Ned.

“We will figure it out in time,” I whispered, taking the risk and winding some of the hair on his face around my pointer finger. “Oberyn has his paramour. Why can’t I?”

“So,” I said, handing Oberyn a wine glass, “you know my terms. What do you bring to me?”

We sat in armchairs opposite each other. The fire I had lit in the hearth still crackled even though it had been hours since. I sat with my legs tucked under me. Oberyn was spread out, his boots propped on top of the table that rested between us.

“My brother would like a quick wedding, which is why I came in person, as well as a seat on your council.”

Reasonable.

“Anything else?”

“I know you offered when we spoke of marriage previously, but Ellaria would like the position as your handmaiden if you are still willing.”

“Well, how else are we going to justify having such a beautiful woman in our chambers all the time,” I teased. Oberyn reached through the space between us to squeeze my hand.

“We require the deaths of Tywin Lannister as well as The Mountain. We would also like a formal apology from the crown regarding the crimes against Elia and her children.”

Done. Should have been done so much sooner.

“I would also like one night a month with you.”

My head shot up. He had a mischievous glint in his eye.

“That was never apart of our previous arrangement,” I argued.

“Our previous arrangement did not include crowns, nor Dornish men, nor Dornish ships.”

“You understand that might be a deal breaker for me? I can find another man willing to leave me alone as long as it gets him a crown. Euron Greyjoy, for example.”

Oberyn barked out a laugh.

“Another man would rape you whenever he pleased. Euron Greyjoy, for example. At least I am asking, Andra. You can make love to your wolf every other night if you so desire. I will go to any ridiculous meetings, feasts, traveling parties, I’m even willing to stay in the capital rather than Dorne- and you are aware of my love for my homeland. For one night a month, I would like to fall asleep next to the one I call my wife. If it is truly as violating as you fear it will be, the arrangement doesn’t have to continue. Who knows? We may get some true born children out of it.”

“You do not give two shits about true born children, Oberyn Martell. Why is this a new requirement after all these years?”

Oberyn sighed. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Doran has been giving me grief about having no true born children.”

“He will not know that the heirs you give me will not be mine.”

“Andra, if you think you will not have anyone speculating about the truth of your children, then you are a fool. When your heirs do not display any distinguishing Baratheon features, you will be in the exact same boat as Robert was when The Stranger comes for you. Many know of my paramour. It would not take much for people to put two and two together.”

“I do not have distinguishing Baratheon features. My claim to succession might be questioned, but I have never heard a single whisper regarding my bloodline.”

“Then you are deaf. Cersei has been spreading lies that Robert always questioned your parentage. While Stannis has not made such a claim, he has not thwarted it.”

My blood boiled as I registered his words. Robert was my brother. He always claimed I was the only sibling he ever loved. He proclaimed Storm’s End was mine by birthright. He taught me the histories of House Baratheon itself- the histories of my house. How dare this woman spread such damning things?

“The blood of the stag runs through my veins, same as my brothers. I am a Baratheon.”

“Yes, but you do not look it, Andra. You did not get the gruff features, or the black hair, or the blue eyes. If you hope that the throne will easily pass down to your heirs, you better make sure that they came from your womb directly. Otherwise, the realm will see another rebellion.”

I squared my jaw. This was not what I had in mind at all. Years ago, we agreed Ellaria was the one who was intended to carry two children for us. I was supposed to enjoy my life of solitude. Oberyn had agreed to those terms, wanting Doran to stop pestering him and Ellaria to be welcomed wherever he went. In truth, I was not sure if I could even stomach Oberyn touching me in that way.

One way to find out, Cass. Be a big girl.

Oberyn watched me intently with his dark obsidian eyes. I stood up and walked so that I was in front of him. I then placed my hands on either side of the arm rests of the chair he sat on. Oberyn furrowed his brow before I brought my lips to his.

It felt…weird. His lips were soft and inviting, but my body was screaming that this was wrong. This wasn’t Ned and he had no right to my kiss. Every fiber in my being told me that this was unnatural. Ned alone could have my lips.

Then again, Ned could not give me everything. He could not name me his wife, he could not give me heirs, and he could not stay with me in the capital and be my consort.

Oberyn could and he would.

I shoved any ill feelings as deep down as I could and willed myself to enjoy this kiss. I brought my hands to Oberyn’s hair and began raking my fingers through it. I briefly wondered if he would be willing to grow it out.

I did try to like it. Though once I ignored the voice screaming Ned’s name in my head, my mind began to focus on how awkward it felt being bent at this angle.

I made to pull away and stand straight up, but Oberyn followed, not missing a beat. Our lips never parted as we came to a more comfortable stance. Oberyn was shorter than Ned, but my head was still tilted back when his tongue met mine.

I tried not to recoil as he entered my mouth. He seemed eager to prove himself and convince me that one night a month would not be the end of the world. His hands moved from my face to my hips and slowly lowered until he cupped my backside with both hands.

I pulled away, hating the way my body was out of breath. I felt gross inside. I longed to wash out my mouth with the strongest wine I could find. In that moment of self disgust, I suddenly gained a lot more respect for those that sold their bodies; I clearly did not have what it took to do their job. I’d make a piss-poor whore.

If you can tolerate Targaryen men branding you, you can spread your legs once a month for your husband. Other high born ladies have it much worse; you are lucky that Robert shielded you for so long.

Now Robert was gone and so was his shield.

I studied the Dornish Prince. Oberyn seemed to enjoy the kiss much more than I had, though the bar had not been that high.

“Twice a month,” Oberyn panted, “We will definitely get a true born child out of it.”

“Once a month and your name day, if you so choose.”

“Can Ellaria join us on my nameday?”

Oberyn looked like a child asking for their favorite sweet. Which, I supposed, in a way he was. There was no denying the way he loved Ellaria for her mind, body, and soul.

I contemplated the notion for a second before nodding. Oberyn’s face went from pleading to the most excited man to ever live very quickly.

“But if I don’t like it, she only gets to watch.”

Oberyn winked. “You’ll like it.”

I laughed at his dramatically giddy expression. I grabbed my wine glass and prompted him to continue his terms.

“Doran has agreed to all of your terms. I agree with ours. You have the power of Dorne, My Queen.”

“And you’ll be happy with this arrangement?”

“I am not a difficult man to make happy.”

“You’ll be okay married to a Baratheon? And having your children take the Baratheon name? You’re known to hold grudges, Ryn.”

Oberyn’s gaze softened.

“Andra, I promised you all those years ago that I would not dishonor you. You and your wolf were some of the only prominent people to openly stand against the decision to murder my sister and her children; I have no hatred for you in my heart. You’re giving me the opportunity for vengeance and a life of royal comfort with my paramour by my side. If you need two children from us, we will give them to you. Although, I am serious about our monthly encounters. You will have true born children of your own; I’m prepared to give you that.”

The thought of carrying children that were not Ned’s nearly made me wretch. Practically all my life, I believed Ned would be the one to sire my children. When he chose to marry Catelyn, I decided that I would likely never have babes of my own. I had been fine with that resignation. I was still fine with the resignation.

Before I could respond to Oberyn, there was knock at the door. I called for them to enter and Jory stepped inside.

“I apologize for the interruption, my queen. A scout just reported that there is a large host approaching the castle. They will be here by midday.”

Oberyn clapped his hands together. “They made up some time. I thought they were a full day’s ride behind me.”

“You brought troops?”

Oberyn smiled and grabbed my waist.

“What sort of husband would I be if I did not bring you at least five thousand men?”

“You brought me five thousand men?” I was not sure if I believed his words.

“I brought you ten thousand men. Doran also has four war galleys at your disposal, all armed with a crew and supplies. They are waiting in Dorne with your other fifteen thousand men.”

I let out a happy hum. I knew the military strength of Dorne was great, but I did not dare imagine they would stand behind me. When I wrote to Oberyn it had been a desperate attempt to have some form of control in my marriage rather than a plan to gain an army. In fact, I had not thought of military advantages until the end of the letter. It was then that I added the terms for ‘some men and a ship’. This was much more than I could have hoped for.

“Thank you, Ryn. I appreciate your help.”

“Allow me my vengeance and I will be the best husband you could ever ask for.”

I wanted to believe him, I did. This arrangement would keep me content and maybe even happy at times, but it is not a life I would have asked for. I am simply doing the best I can for myself.

Oberyn must have sensed what was running through my mind. He tucked a finger under my cheek and tilted my head so that our gazes met.

“I know I am not Ned Stark, but I am Oberyn Martell and I will make you happy, Andra. You will never feel unloved nor suffer any abuse when I am around. I swear it.”

I knew he spoke true. Oberyn had been good to me for the short while we courted before I married Renly. It was more like friendship rather than companionship, but it was good.

I wrapped my arms around his torso and tucked myself into his embrace. It was pleasant enough, but it did not give me the same sense of security I normally found in Ned’s arms.

“So then, my beauty? Are we to be married?”

I felt as though I were stabbing my own heart as I nodded my head. I stepped away from Oberyn after that.

“I should go see Ned. I haven’t spoken to him about the military forces since I’ve returned.”

“One more thing, My Queen?”

I raised an eyebrow as I prompted him to continue.

“Doran plans to keep Dorne’s allegiance to you a secret for the time being. He’s agreed to a marriage alliance with between the princess and his son; Myrcella Baratheon is sailing to Dorne as we speak.”

I looked towards the Prince of Dorne. My eyes squinted as they trailed from head to toe.

“How do I know that you do not plan to betray me? How can I be sure this alliance is the real one for Dorne?”

Oberyn placed a hand over his heart.

“You wound me, Andra. I assure you, Dorne has no love for the Lannisters. We have no love for Robert, Renly, or Stannis Baratheon. I, however, have always had a soft spot for you, so Dorne does as well. The false princess is yours. We will keep her safe and happy in Sunspear, until you decide what you would like to do with her.”

I smiled. I did not know Myrcella well, but I knew Cersei would do anything for her children. If she found out we had both her daughter and Jaime, she would give us anything we demanded, short of the Iron Throne itself.

“Give your brother my thanks. He’s done me a great service.”

Oberyn smiled. “May I join you? If you truly are going to speak about military movements, I would like to be present. Although, if you plan on speaking to your wolf about other matters, I understand.”

I shook my head.

“No, please join us. You’ll be commanding the Dornish army alongside me, you should be present.”

Oberyn followed behind me as we left the room. Jory gave me a small smile as I passed him, but it quickly dropped when his eyes found Oberyn. Jory may be sworn to me, but I knew part of him carried a sense of loyalty to Ned still. I had no room to judge; I couldn’t even kiss another man without feeling sick to my stomach.

I pushed open the door to the main solar. Ned was bent over a map of Westeros. His eyes lit up when they met mine, but it quickly diminished when Oberyn walked in behind me.

Ned placed himself in front of the desk with arms crossed. He was staring down at Oberyn with a sternness I had not seen from him in a long time. When Oberyn tried to walk to the table, Ned blocked his path.

“I will not have a man who fought for the Mad King looking at our battle plans.”

I sucked on my teeth, moving to get in between the two. However, Oberyn handled it before I could get involved.

“If I am going to share my wife with you, Your Grace, the least you can do is allow me to see where to send her men to fight.”

Ned stepped back with wide eyes. I smiled and stepped over to him as Oberyn pushed past and studied the map.

“Not a shy man, is he?”

“Why should I be shy? If you are open with Ellaria, I can give the same courtesy to your wolf,” Oberyn called over his shoulder with a wave of his hand.

Ned looked absolutely dumbfounded. I squeezed his arm and went to stand next to Oberyn. He circled his finger around where the tokens in the Westerland were positioned.

“You are trying to surround the Rock?”

“My son’s idea,” Ned admitted. “He should report a successful taking of the Crag by the end of the day. Then our sights will be on Deep Den.”

“I could take the men to Clegane’s Keep,” Oberyn offered. “In fact, I would be elated to.”

I smiled softly. The man hated Gregor Clegane with good reason. The Mountain had raped and murdered Elia Martell, Oberyn’s sister, and killed her children. I would want revenge too.

“I doubt Clegane will be there,” I reasoned.

“One way to know,” Oberyn said with a wink.

Ned walked over to stand beside me. His came up next to me except for his left shoulder which was pressed behind my right one. He was subtle about it, but I knew this was his way to test the waters. He wanted to slowly gauge Oberyn’s reactions to our contact.

“If we can take Clegane’s Keep and hold it long enough for the entire Northern force to rally with Dorne, we can conquer The Rock. Easily.”

“We should plan to attack the same day Stannis attacks the Capital. Tywin and his forces will be pulled in two directions,” I suggested. “I may not have the support of the Stormlands, but I know people. I can find out when Stannis will make his move.”

“After we have it?”

“We’ll have the Rock, we’ll have Jaime, we’ll even have Myrcella. We can demand a lot. Tywin won’t bend the knee, but it may be enough to grant the North their independence.”

“It won’t matter. The North will not return home until you are seated on the Iron Throne,” Ned told me. The back of his fingers lightly brushed against mine. I could not help but smile up at him.

A light hearted laugh pulled our attention away from each other. Oberyn’s smile was wide as he watched us. Instinctively, Ned went to step away, but I grabbed his wrist, keeping him in place. I would not allow him to hide in front of Oberyn. I was quickly growing sick and tired of being ashamed of our… whatever it could be called. The back and forth between us was giving me a headache.

“I may have fought against your brother, but even Dorne heard stories of the way you three commanded armies. More specifically, we heard of how the Quiet Wolf and the Woman Stag made a ferocious pair. They seemingly worked as one body and mind since a word was never heard uttered between them, but all enemies fell at their feet. It is a magical thing to witness the connection in person.”

Ned and I both stood there, unsure of how to react to his compliment. Well, if it could be called a compliment. Jory saved us from the situation, bursting through the door with a Karstark soldier in tow. I immediately removed my hand from Ned.

“There’s been word from Bear Island, My King,” the Karstark soldier said, handing Ned a raven scroll. “Greyjoy soldiers are sailing towards Deepwood Motte.”

“There’s more,” Jory said as another soldier entered the room.

“I received a raven from Prince Robb, Your Grace. The Crag has been taken but many have been injured, including him. He is getting medical attention, but as of right now he is bedridden.”

“Is that all?” I asked, crossing my arms in worry. Ned grabbed the second scroll. I could practically see the way he was becoming tense with stress.

Jory cast me an apologetic glance as another soldier entered the room.

“Theon Greyjoy was spotted riding towards Winterfell from the Stony Shore with about thirty Ironborn.”

Saving Ned the trouble, I grabbed the last raven scroll and set it on the table. I dismissed the soldiers and asked Jory to find Catelyn and inform her of the news. Ned was fuming in the reserved and solemn way that he did. I watched as he moved his jaw back and forth weighing his options.

“Theon Greyjoy believes he can take my castle with thirty men?”

“Thirty Ironborn,” I corrected. “If Winterfell is not prepared, he could. I can go to the Crag and support Robb, but you should head North.”

Ned stood there, hands on the desk in front of us. He reached one hand out to gently hold my chin. He studied my face as though trying to memorize every line and ridge.

“I don’t want you out on a battlefield after the week you have had. How much sleep did you get last night?”

I ignored his question.

“I’ll ride to the Crag,” I repeated. Ned’s eyes drifted to mine. “The battle is done there. I’ll take Jory and we will stay with Robb until he’s recovered. You cannot afford to lose your ancestral seat to Balon Greyjoy of all people.”

“I will stop at Winterfell on the way to Deepwood Motte,” Ned decided. “I cannot allow Theon to get away with this. I’ll have to take his head for this.”

“Or you can kill his men and keep him as a prisoner to use against Balon. Tywin is not our only enemy. The men will grumble for a time, but let them. You are the king and they will listen to you.”

“I’ve had the boy longer than Balon ever did. He will not be worth much to the stubborn man.”

“What did you say earlier, darling,” I chimed in a sickly sweet voice. I looked over my shoulder to my future consort. Oberyn smirked.

“One way to know,” he repeated his earlier words.

Ned watched me for a second before glancing towards Oberyn.

“Will your men be battle ready?”

“My men are always battle ready,” Oberyn responded with a grin that matched his arrogant tone.

Ned nodded, a displeased frown on his lips. It was interesting how he and Oberyn were so similar and yet so different from one another. Oberyn was an acquired taste that would take Ned a long while to palate.

“I am sure you want your vengeance, but I could use your help riding North. It would allow me to leave my men here to rest and hold our castles. Once Robb is better, he and Andra can command this division of troops.”

“If it is okay with my queen, I’ll take eight thousand North and leave her with two thousand.”

I nodded, more than happy with those numbers. Hopefully, they would only be used for defense. Ned raised an eyebrow, impressed by the amount of men Oberyn brought.

“Hopefully your boys are prepared for a Northern battle,” I jested.

“These are Dornish fighters, my dear. They are prepared for any fi- By the seven! Who is this celestial being and why have you hidden her from me?”

Ned and I both followed Oberyn’s gaze. Catelyn was standing in the doorway, panic clearly written all over her face. It was safe to assume Jory made her aware of Robb’s condition. Cat eyed Oberyn warily as she approached us.

“Allow me to introduce my wife, Catelyn Stark. Cat this is-“

“Oberyn Martell, Prince of Dorne, a fighter and a lover,” he said in his sultry way, bending into a low bow.

He took Catelyn’s hand and place a light kiss to it. Cat’s cheeks were instantly tinted with a light shade of red. She looked to Ned who only shrugged in a way that said “I don’t know either”.

“Cat, Oberyn has agreed to take my hand in marriage and be my king consort.”

“One word, Your Grace, and I will never look at that woman again,” Oberyn promised pointing in my direction.

I laughed and gently tossed one of the unused wooden pieces at his bent back.

“Don’t go overwhelming the Queen with your Dornish charm. She may look sweet, but she is a force to be reckoned with,” I warned.

“I meant no offense, Queen Catelyn,” Oberyn said, heeding my words and returning to the map. “When my men get here around midday, I will follow your path North. If you’ll excuse me, I must go polish my spear.”

As he left the room, Catelyn came to stand before Ned and I. She looked towards us and lightly frowned. The expression was subtle, but enough to make me step away from her husband. When Ned did not try to stop me, I felt embarrassment rising within me. I was not prepared for the hurt that nearly overwhelmed me.

Had I misunderstood? He told me Catelyn wanted nothing to do with him behind closed doors. Am I so stupid to think that meant that she had given her blessing? Am I so foolish to think that is why she asked me those questions by the fire? Am I so daft to believe that I could finally have Ned without feeling guilt eat me alive?

In that moment, all I felt was stupid.

And I really fucking hated feeling stupid.

“Andra? Andra, where are you?”

His voice pulled me from my thoughts before my embarrassment could blossom into rage. My gaze snapped up to meet Ned’s. His soft grey eyes made me want to just melt into him. One glance at Catelyn kept me from doing so. I would not dishonor nor offend her.

“You should go get ready, Your Graces,” I stated. “You both have a long journey ahead of you.”

“Thank you, Cass, for going to Robb. I believe it is time for me to get back to Bran and Rickon. Could you do me a favor? Would you show him a mother’s love while he recovers,” Cat asked, grabbing my hands. “And protect him while I am gone?”

I bit my lip and swallowed my humiliation. I gently squeezed Catelyn’s hands and nodded.

“Of course, Cat. Safe travels.”

“Thank you.”

Catelyn promptly left, presumably to get Arya ready for the trip.

When I turned back to Ned, he was watching me warily. He reached out towards me, beckoning for me to come closer to him. I stayed put and crossed my arms and squeezed myself lightly.

“I believe I misunderstood our situation,” I whispered, turning my face away. “I assumed Cat was aware of our… intentions.”

Ned stayed quiet, but came to stand before me. He grabbed both of my hands and brought them to his lips. My lips pulled into a sad smile as the hair above his own tickled my knuckles.

“She claimed she would not care, but that does not mean I want to shove this in her face.”

“So you are ashamed of me?”

“Where in my words did I say that? I am ashamed of a lot of my choices but never you, Andra. Come, I don’t know what’s happening in that beautiful mind of yours, but allow me to hold you.”

Ned moved to stand behind me and wrapped his arms around my body. I wasn’t sure how he always managed to engulf me in a wave of comfort, but I would not complain. I could not while I was in his arms. I leaned my head into his bicep and allowed him to support me. He buried his bearded face into my neck, causing me to laugh.

“Like honey to my ears,” he whispered, lightly nipping my earlobe. “What is on your mind, love?”

Too much to put into words.

“Apparently there are rumors that I am a bastard circulating.”

“Who would spread such lies? You are your brother through and through; Baratheon to your very core.”

“Cersei. You know as well as I do that it doesn’t matter what we know, but rather what the realm believes. Oberyn thinks we should produce true born children. I am inclined to agree with him after hearing that even Stannis will not corroborate the fact that I am his true born sister.”

Ned let out a questioning hum against the sensitive skin.

“How else were you going to get those heirs you were planning?”

“His paramour, Ellaria Sand.”

Ned stiffened against me.

“You never meant for him to touch you.”

He wasn’t asking if that was my goal. He did not sound judgmental. He simply stated it as a fact.

“No, I did not. Now with these rumors, he thinks it’s best if the children come from me. It will only further complicate matters if they do not look like me.”

There were a few moments of silence as Ned held me. I could sense a shift in him. The comfort that surrounded us soon turned into cold vulnerability. His fingers brushed along the skin of my arm. The movement sent a pleasant chill down my spine.

“And what if these children came from your paramour?”

A faint smile graced my lips as I thought of the grey eyed, brown haired rascals we had once talked of raising together. Quickly the image in my mind shifted to all five of Ned’s children. While most favored Catelyn’s features, each one possessed just enough of Ned to see the resemblance.

“If a single child presented even the smallest Stark feature, the realm would know,” I whispered out, my heart longing to make the stupid choice. “Oberyn’s right; we would see another rebellion. This is the last war I mean to fight, Ned. The realm cannot take another one.”

Ned moved his chin so that it rested on my shoulder.

“This will be the last one,” he promised. “I must go prepare. I’ve delayed too long already. Are you sure you will be okay?”

I felt a tinge of gratitude as I thought of our last goodbye. There was a noticeable difference between the two. Last time, Ned had been possessive and commanding. Had he not been, I may well have bent the knee to Renly. But now, Ned’s gentleness had returned. After the week I had gone through, the up and down emotions, this is the Ned that I needed.

“I’ll be okay,” I promised, leaning my head back to look up at him. I puckered my lips. Ned quickly kissed them before removing himself from me.

“I will put a quick end to this Greyjoy scheme. I’ll be back before you know it.”

With that reassurance, he was gone.

I scrunched up my mouth as my hand found its way to the center of my chest. I was not sure how I managed to I’ve with the emptiness for seventeen years. While I did get better at shouldering it, the feeling never became numb. It was always there at the center of me. Now that I had spent so much time without the once ever-present pain, it seemed to hurt ten times worse than before.

I know it.

Chapter Text

I stood with Oberyn as the Dornish entourage arrived. I had been expecting troops, not an entire royal party. As the crowd came into view, it was clear that there was more than just soldiers present.

When my gaze rose upwards, I grabbed Oberyn’s hand in admiration. There was only one type of banner carried throughout the group as far as the eye could see. There a Martell banner in sight.

Instead, a black stag in the center of a field of yellow with a crown around its neck adorned every piece of fabric in the air. Neither of my brothers had flown Robert’s banner. Renly had banners with a white crowned stag on a field of blue and Stannis had his new sigil. From what we’ve seen, Joffrey’s banners shared both the Baratheon and Lannister sigils.

These Dornishmen flew Robert’s sigil alone. They flew my sigil.

I squeezed Oberyn’s hand, hoping he could see the gratefulness in my eyes. He smiled and leaned down.

“Our banner makers have been working tirelessly since we received your raven. While these are Dornishmen, Andra, they are yours. They know that if a command comes from your lips, it must be carried out.”

Leading the charge was the beautiful Ellaria Sand. She sat high on her horse, poised in the graceful manner she always had. She smiled when she caught sight of Oberyn, but absolutely beamed when our eyes found each other. She kicked her horse into a canter as she broke off from the rest of the party.

Once she was off of her horse, Ellaria ran towards me. I laughed as I caught her and held her close. While Tyrion was the closest thing I would consider to a friend, I think Ellaria and I would have gotten to that point eventually. I’d only known her a few weeks before my courtship with Oberyn ended. There was not enough time for a true friendship to blossom.

“I’ve missed you, Andra!”

“It is so good to see you,” I said as I squeezed her tightly.

“Oberyn and I were so happy to hear from you,” she said, pulling herself away from me.

“He definitely surprised me yesterday,” I laughed. “I was not expecting to find a drenched Dornishman at the doors.”

Oberyn gave a sheepish shrug as he embraced his paramour. I had warned him that the North was more conservative regarding lovers and asked him to refrain from making a spectacle. Surprisingly, he released Ellaria seconds after he embraced her.

Footsteps sounded nearby, so I looked behind my shoulder to see the three Starks approach. Ned had sent his men ahead of him as he wanted to travel with Oberyn in a gesture of solidarity. Arya was watching the soldiers with wide eyes. When she saw me, her face lit up. She quickly ran up to my side.

“Arya,” Cat called after her in a scolding tone. I held a hand up, indicating the girl was fine with a shake of my head.

“Oberyn, Ellaria, allow me to introduce Princess Arya of House Stark.”

“Ah, this is the one you wrote of,” Oberyn asked, bowing his head towards Arya. “Ellaria, my heart, if I may have the bangle?”

Ellaria allowed Oberyn to slip a bracelet from her wrist. He crouched in front of Arya and held it out.

“Andra wrote to tell me of the little girl who would one day be a fearsome warrior. I understand you had a direwolf that you named Nymeria?”

Arya nodded. “After Princess Nymeria, a great warrior. I want to be just like her one day.”

“So Andra said. She was a great warrior and a great leader. I named my own daughter after her as well. Here, I brought you a gift from my homeland.” He held out the bracelet. “This once belonged to Princess Nymeria herself. She wore it into every battle. Legend says it protected her always.”

Arya grinned and eagerly grabbed the bracelet. She threw her arms around Oberyn and thanked him excitedly. When her parents finally reached our group, Arya went to stand by Ned. She studied the bracelet intently as though trying to see a glimmer of its owner in one of the gemstones.

The gift was impressive. I had asked Oberyn if there was anything from Princess Nymeria that the Northern Princess could have, but I expected some of her clothing. The bangle was gorgeous and once more, better than I could have anticipated.

“Stark family, meet Ellaria Sand of Dorne, my new handmaiden and Oberyn’s paramour. Ellaria, this is Ned and Catelyn Stark, Lord and Lady of Winterfell, and King and Queen in the North.”

Ellaria bowed her head and immediately turned to look at me. She shielded her face so that only I could see and slyly pointed to Ned.

‘This is your wolf?’

I smiled as she mouthed the words, a small blush creeping to my cheeks. It was strange being around people that knew of my feelings for Ned. It was a secret I tried to hide as best as I could through my life. I could not recall exactly why I confided in Oberyn. I simply remembered sitting by the fire with him and pouring my heart out to him. He had been gentle and understanding, which I appreciated immensely in that vulnerable moment. When he introduced me to Ellaria, he had shared the secret and in turn she had asked me everything there was to know about Ned and I.

Ellaria came to stand by my side. I was surprised when three of Oberyn’s daughters walked up, not a single one Ellaria’s. It was the three eldest Sand Snakes all dressed in battle leathers. The trio bowed in unison.

“It’s good to see you again, Lady Baratheon,” the youngest, Tyene, greeted. Obara, the eldest, elbowed her sister’s side. Tyene’s eyes went wide and she bowed again. “Queen Baratheon.”

Obara stepped forward and held a spear in her outstretched palms. Oberyn grabbed it from her and weighed it in his hand. He nodded in approval before offering it to me. I raised my eyebrows but took the weapon all the same.

“For me?”

“It is customary,” Oberyn said. “I gave each of my daughters a weapon, I gave Ellaria a weapon, and now I give you one. I trust you remember some of our lessons?”

“It’s been years, Ryn,” I argued. “Of course I don’t.”

He laughed and adjusted my grip on the staff. I studied the handle along with its steel spearhead. The staff itself looked almost identical to the spear Oberyn used. Its polished wooden handle had a golden shoe at one end, coming to a rounded point. I followed the wood up to the steel head. Where Oberyn’s spear had a viper that wrapped around it, this one had two antlers that intertwined and eventually rested on either side of the sharpened blade. It was beautiful craftsmanship.

“You will,” Oberyn promised. “Your muscles will remember once you start practicing again. When we are reunited, I’ll teach you. For now, try not to poke your eye out.”

I laughed and turned back to his daughters. I gave them a deep curtsy as thanks. As I stood, I dug the shoe into the dirt and leaned the giant weapon against me.

“Alright, I’ve had enough of all these titles and courtesies,” I declared, “I’ve reached my quota for the day. Ned, Cat, these are the three eldest of Oberyn’s daughters.”

“Three eldest?” Cat asked. “How many children do you have, Prince Oberyn?”

“Eight in total,” he said with a proud smile on his face. “All beautiful daughters. All warriors skilled in their practices.”

The three Sand Snakes held their heads high as they were introduced individually. First there was Obara, the eldest at twenty-eight, then Nymeria, the second at twenty-five, third was Tyene at twenty-three. All looked as beautiful as Oberyn with smooth skin, flawless complexions, and muscular arms, though each of the girls had distinct features that set them apart because of their different mothers. I could see they were battle ready; they would follow Oberyn to the North.

After introductions were made the goodbyes were said. Oberyn placed a gentle kiss to my hand before leading his daughters back to their horses. I gave Arya a tight squeeze as we said farewell. When she asked me to take care of her brother, I reassured her that I would. Catelyn and I nodded at each other as she wrapped an arm around Arya once the girl was back in arm’s reach.

I turned to look at Ned. He watched me with worried eyes as we stood there. I sucked in my lip as his gaze bore down on me. I could feel tears threatening to fall as I took in the sight of him. Once again, it seemed that fate was trying to keep us separated.

Why does this part hurt so much?

Ned’s smile was comforting, as though he could read my thoughts. As much as I wanted to reach out towards him, I knew I could not. Not with all these eyes on us. I most definitely should not in front of an army that just marched from Dorne because I was to wed their prince. Instead, I opted for a small bow of my head.

“Safe travels, King Stark.”

“Thank you. To you as well, Queen Andra. Give Robb my love, please.”

“Of course.”

It was formal, polite, and so unlike us. My body was screaming to embrace him, to touch him in any way. I longed to have him hold me and tell me we would see each other soon. I thought back to hours earlier and told myself to be content with that private farewell.

Ned hesitated a moment before finally turning to join the rest of the group. Eventually, Ellaria, Jory, and I were left standing there as we watched the group ride off. Soldiers began marching behind them, following the Baratheon banner that Tyene held high.

Ellaria leaned into me, clasping her hands around my bicep.

“While Oberyn is the most beautiful man I’ve ever met, inside and out, I can see why you’re infatuated with your wolf,” she teased. “He is very… manly. By the Seven, I can only imagine what he’s capable of in the bedchambers.”

I could not hold in the laugh she brought from me.

“You are going to be trouble for me, Ellaria, I know it. Now, I must go get ready to leave myself. There’s a Northern prince that I need to check on.”

“You would have me stay here?”

“Yes. Take the opportunity to rest up from your long journey. If you could arrange for the men to begin making camp I would appreciate it. Once Robb is better, I’ll return and we will ride to Deep Den. For now, I’ll only take one hundred men with me to fortify the Crag. Jory, do you think you could grab one of the Stark banners? That way Robb knows all these Dornishmen are coming in unity with his father.”

“Of course, My Queen.” Jory bowed and walked off to complete his task.

“So he just follows you around all the time?” Ellaria asked. “That must get tiring.”

“He should be working to find six more members so he can get a break, but for now it’s been working. If I am with Ned and his guards, Jory goes to get some sleep. I tell him to sleep during the night, but I am almost positive that he ignores me. I do need to start hiring more staff for myself. I feel awful every time I need to ask Jory to switch his current task. Now come on, I’ll show you to your room.”

I led Ellaria through the castle. It felt empty now that Ned was gone; there was not a Stark man in sight. This would be Ellaria’s castle until we appointed someone to watch over here. Ashemark was not a great prize, but it was still a castle that needed a Lord or Lady residing over it. Until either Ned or I found someone we trusted to appoint, it would remain as leverage.

Once we reached my chambers, I pushed the door open. Ellaria stepped inside and grimaced.

“These northern castles are so different from Dorne’s. They are too stuffy. There’s not enough windows to air the must out.”

“When Winter comes, we will all be glad for the lack of windows. Ellaria, you know that you do not have to actually do handmaiden duties? I’ve never needed one before; I can handle these tasks.”

Ellaria ignored me as she began making the bed. I sighed and went to help her. As we pulled the sheets taught and tucked them in, she paused.

“I know that you were offering me the title more than the position, but I would like to be of use. My daughters are in Dorne and I want to keep busy so that I do not go mad with worry.”

“You did not have to come,” I gently reminded her. “I told Oberyn all eight of his daughters were welcome, though I know how young your four are. I assumed you would all join us in the capital once the war was won. I did not expect or wish for you to separate from them.”

Ellaria smiled. “Every battle Oberyn goes out to fight, it may be the last time. I’d like to get as much time as I can with him. He’s getting older, slower.”

“A slow Oberyn Martell is still faster than most of Westeros. He will be fine, Ellaria.”

“I pray that you are right, Andra. I cannot bear the thought of losing him.”

I grabbed her hand and squeezed. I remembered the nights apart from Ned during the rebellion. I would lie awake staring at the fabric of the tent above me. I’d wonder where he was, if he was okay, when I would see him again. It was one thing to go into battle; it was absolutely terrifying to have your loved one in the fight.

“I must go. I cannot delay any longer. I’m hoping to reach the Crag by nightfall. These were my chambers, so feel free to make yourself at home. If anyone tries to give you grief about anything remind them you are both handmaiden to me as well as an honored guest of the King in the North.”

I grabbed my bow and quiver as well as the blade I normally used. I left the spear resting in a corner, next to Robert’s war hammer. I grabbed my daggers, including a replacement for the one I left behind in Renly’s tent, and attached the sheath belt to my thigh. I slid each blade into place.

Ellaria bid me farewell before I left the room. Jory was waiting outside with two Dornish gentlemen. I smoothed out the fabric of my britches before making my way towards them. I plastered the most welcoming smile that I could muster onto my face

“Gentlemen, allow me to present Queen Cassandra Baratheon.”

The two men bowed before introducing themselves. The first was Dickon of House Manwoody and the second was Ser Deziel Dalt, the landed Knight of Lemonwood. They each led one half of the two thousand Oberyn commanded to stay. I explained that I would only need a hundred men for defensive purposes. Dickon offered up some from his unit for me.

I expressed my gratitude before going to find my mount. I grabbed the mare from the stables and saddled her myself. Jory kept offering to help, but once I threatened to appoint a quieter Lord Commander, he stopped trying. He knew I would never, but going along with my empty words made me appreciate him even more.

The ride to the Crag was uneventful. One hundred and two people moved slowly, but we eventually made it just as the sun was setting. Outside, we were met by Black Walder, one of Walder Frey’s great-grandsons.

“Queen Cassandra!” He dropped to his knee. “We were not expecting you.”

“Nor was I expecting to be here when I began my day,” I said with a laugh. “I’ll head in to see Prince Robb. Would you direct my men to where they are most needed?”

Black Walder nodded eagerly, seeming ready to prove himself. I hopped off my mare and handed Black Walder the reins. With Jory at my side, we strode into the castle.

The energy was solemn inside as we entered. There was a lone maid that was cleaning some blood off of the stone floor. I cleared my throat to grab her attention. Once she saw me, she darted from the room.

“What the fuck,” I breathed out. Jory stifled a laugh. I held up a scolding finger at him. “Don’t start with your sass, Jory Cassel.”

He held his hands up in mock surrender. We pushed further into the castle. I’d never visited the Crag before but I figured it could not be much different from other castles. Each one had the same architectural concepts applied.

Once I swung open a door, a man I presumed to be Lord Westerling was standing at the ready with a sword. Jory quickly grabbed me and stepped in front of me, drawing his own weapon. I stood on my toes to look over his shoulder. I saw an older woman and a young girl behind her.

“We’ve had enough of this,” he shouted. “The Starks have already taken the castle. You are not welcome here.”

I raised an eyebrow. The man’s arm was shaking. It was evident that he was not a fighter, simply a ruler. I moved past Jory.

“Do you know who I am?”

Lord Westerling shook his head in denial.

“Then lower your fucking sword.”

The man’s eyes widened but he did as I instructed.

“My name is Cassandra Baratheon, the late King Robert’s sister, the North’s chosen Queen on the Iron Throne, so on and so forth. Where is Prince Robb?”

Lord Westerling sheathed his sword.

“He’s with the other injured,” the man stated plainly.

When no more was said, I nearly threw my head back in frustration.

“I’m not sure where you learned how to be a lord, but normally when a Queen asks to see someone she is taken to them,” I remarked.

The man held out his hands.

“I am no lord, my lady, I am only the castellan. My name is Rolph Spicer.”

I regarded the man for a moment before letting out a breath.

“My apologies, Rolph. I have had an awful week and I allowed my irritation to get the better of me. I would much appreciate it if you would take me to Prince Robb.”

The man nodded gestured for us to follow him. As we walked through the castle, I asked him about different details regarding the men there and if they had any correspondence with the Lannisters. The man readily gave the information that most of their men had died in the battle and that they had not heard anything for their liege lord.

The air changed as the scent of the wounded made its way to my nostrils. I spent much time tending to injured men during the rebellion and while I had learned to stomach the smell, it still made me ever so queasy. I refrained from squeezing my nostrils closed to protect myself from the odor. These men fought for Ned so I would give them the respect that they deserved.

Rolph opened a door for us and gestured inside. There was a young woman hovering around a beds that was pressed against the back wall. The woman was bent over, shielding the face of her patient. I did not have to be a scholar to know it was Robb.

I lightly stepped over to them. I wanted to avoid waking any of the slumbering wounded. The ones that were alert received my verbal gratitude. When I had made it to the last bed, the young maid bowed her head and walked away from us. I raised an eyebrow.

How does the maid have better manners than the castellan?

Robb tried to sit up when he saw me.

“No, stop,” I warned. “Let me see your wounds.”

I walked over to the space the young lady had just vacated. Robb pulled the blanket down enough to show the wound mere inches under his heart. The gash was stitched up and while it did not look like the cleanest work, I knew he would live.

“How are you feeling?”

“Other than the pain?”

I smiled.

“If you are well enough to make jests, then I am confident you will be fine. Is this your first injury?”

Robb’s brow furrowed but he nodded.

“First one like this. The first one I didn’t know if I’d recover from.”

“You will. Give it a few days and you will be in normal health. The fever will come soon. After you fight that, you will be just fine. It’s scary, isn’t it- the first injury to remind you that you are still mortal?”

Robb gulped but nodded once more.

“Your father’s was through the right shoulder. Here,” I said, lightly pushing the same area on Robb. “I don’t know how the man was able to swing a sword within a few days, but he was. He fought harder after he realized that he was too young to die. I am sure that you will learn the same lesson. Where’s Grey Wind?”

“Probably in the kennels. She killed a man trying to attack me so our hosts are weary of him. He’ll get restless after some time and begin howling.”

“He should be in here with you. Jory, could you see to that?”

“Of course, My Queen.”

“After, try to get some sleep. I’ll be in here with Robb and Grey Wind; we will be fine. I promise; no need to tell me to piss off.”

Jory looked at me warily. I gave him a look that said I would not take no for an answer. He bowed before leaving to free Grey Wind from his confines.

I grabbed a cloth and soaked it in water. I gently began cleaning around the wound. Robb flinched once or twice but otherwise laid still.

“You do not need to do this, Cassandra.”

“No, but I will,” I responded. “At one time, I did so for your father, and now I will do so for you. I promised your mother I’d look out for you as though she were here.”

He smiled. “I am glad I got to see her briefly before coming here. I was sorry to hear about Renly. I could not imagine losing Bran or Rickon. When Bran fell and we were not certain he would live, I had been a wreck. I miss them so much.”

I set the cloth back in the basin, squeezing so some of the blood and grime washed away in the water. I covered his hand with my own. I had to tell him.

“There’s been some news, Robb, and I do not want you to do anything rash when you hear it.”

Robb’s expression fell. I watched as he prepared himself for bad news. I did not like being the one to deliver the report of Winterfell, but the boy deserved to know.

“Theon Greyjoy rides for Winterfell.”

Robb brightened. “They found him? If he wanted to go back home, he could have just said. Father would have let him return to Winterfell.”

I shook my head.

“No, Robb. Theon rides for Winterfell wearing a Greyjoy sigil and leading Greyjoy men.”

Robb’s face turned to stone as he realized the gravity of my words.

“I am sorry to be the one to tell you,” I admitted, “I understand he was like a brother to you.”

Robb shook his head as his face contorted into absolute rage. I sighed. I knew the feeling well. Ned’s boy was too young to have to experience this form of betrayal. His own mother barely learned this feeling a mere week ago with Petyr Baelish.

“No brother of mine would do this. Not even Jon-“

Robb seemed to choke on his words. In that moment, I witnessed how Robb’s love for Jon outweighed the pain that Theon caused. I could feel my face soften as I patted the hand I still covered.

“I miss him too,” I said. “We exchanged ravens a few times while I was in King’s Landing, but everything fell apart before I could learn if he took his oath. I sent a raven when your father and I returned, but I haven’t received a response. I am sure he is fine though, Robb. Just as I am sure that your little brothers are.”

“I used to think him less than Theon, since he was a bastard. I was always told he was not the same as me. That he was a reminder that Father had been dishonorable. We never even celebrated his name day. There was one time when Father had caught me once calling him ‘the bastard boy’. Father never struck any of us children, but I was sure he came close that day. After that scolding, I knew that Jon was my brother the same as Bran and Rickon. He just carried a different name.”

My heart hurt as I thought of the boy. I had gotten very good at shielding my heart over the years. Every once in a while, I would need a good cry, just like yesterday. Once the tears were done, I could lock the emotions away once again. Now, as I thought of Jon’s young face, I could feel the worry that I had long refused to acknowledge building up. I knew this would be the night I finally cried for Jon.

“May I ask you something, Cassandra?”

“Of course. Anything.”

As the words left my lips, I was taken back to the exact moment Jon asked me the same question. He had gotten an identical response to the one I gave Robb. Then, Jon had given me the same curious expression that his cousin wore now.

“Is it you?”

Robb’s voice called me back to reality. I laughed, as the words registered in my brain. I should have known that would be the question Robb asked.

“No, I am not Jon’s mother.”

“I don’t mean Jon,” Robb corrected, “My mother and father used to argue a lot when Jon and I were young. They hid it well, but Jon and I could hear them sometimes if we listened closely enough. I remember once it had gotten much louder between them. They were arguing about some woman he still loved. Father wouldn’t even deny it. It’s you, isn’t it? I can tell by the way he looks at you that it is.”

I sat there, staring at the Young Wolf. He did not need an answer from me. He knew. I could see it in his eyes that he knew. I tried to figure out how I had fallen into this situation. This was a conversation Ned needed to have with his boy, if he chose to do so. Not me.

Deciding nothing good could come from answering him, I wiped my hands on my britches and stood up. Robb grabbed my wrist as I turned away.

My head whipped back towards him, fury alighting in my blood.

He forgets himself.

I calmed down as I reminded myself that this was Robb. This was Ned’s boy. He did not mean me harm nor any disrespect.

“I did not mean to offend you, Cassandra.”

“I am not offended,” I assured him, “I just do not see the point in this conversation. These are things you should speak to your father about.”

“My father never speaks of his life with us. I don’t know anything about his childhood, I only hear stories of my uncle and aunt through Uncle Benjen. Father has certainly never mentioned a Cassandra Baratheon. Then you come to Winterfell and everything changes. The forbidden grey mare is given to you, the haunted fourth best room in the castle is given to you, but more so than all of that, he smiles around you. I don’t recall ever witnessing Father smile at anyone or anything that wasn’t one of his children.”

I stood there, unsure of what the boy wanted. We stared at each other a long while until the door opened with a loud creak. I looked over my shoulder to see Jory and Grey Wind.

Jory eyed Robb and I suspiciously. I pulled my arm out of the Young Wolf’s grip and went to sit back down. Jory needed sleep, I did not need him worried about me. I nodded at him to go. The ever-vigilant man stared at me a while before begrudgingly following my earlier command.

Grey Wind hopped up onto the foot of Robb’s bed and settled so that he was comfortable. His large eyes were trained on the door. It was amazing to see a direwolf up close and in person. The beast was huge and judging by the size of his paws, he would continue growing.

I looked behind me. Most of the wounded were asleep already. The young lady I found with Robb must have already administered Milk of the Poppy. I spotted a small vial next to the table near the bed. Robb shook his head when my arm reached towards it.

“No,” he said. “I don’t want it.”

“You’re as stubborn as your father,” I muttered.

“Would you tell me about him as a boy? Surely, he was not always so stern?”

When I did not say anything, Robb tried again.

“I am sorry if I caused you discomfort with my earlier question. I will not pry further into your relationship with my father. Please, I just want to know him better.”

I sighed, leaning back in the seat. Robb watched me with hopeful eyes. I glanced down at his wound. He would be in immense pain soon. I grabbed the Milk of the Poppy and held it out towards him.

“I will only entertain you with these stories if you do yourself a favor and drink this. You are lucky the pain has not reached you yet, Young Wolf, but it will soon enough.”

Robb pursed his lips before agreeing. I uncorked the glass bottle and handed it to him. He only drank half, but it would be enough to help.

“I met your father when I was five and he was seven. I had gone with my own father and Robert on a trip to the North. I had only gotten to go because Robert begged for me to join them. I was only used to Storm’s End weather, so I was absolutely fascinated by the snow. The first chance I had to slip away from my father to go explore, I took it. I wandered off and eventually found my way into the training yard where your father was making a pile of snowballs. I had gone over to see what he was doing. He said he was planning on surprising your Uncle Brandon. Then he showed me how to shape the snow into a sphere and we took all that we could carry up to one of the battlements and waited for Brandon and Robert to walk under us. When we started pelting them, they had been so angry and chased us all around the yard.”

I smiled fondly at the memory. Ned had been the first person other than Robert to include me in anything. Up until that point, Robert was the only one who would play with me. Stannis was a year younger and barely left Mother’s side. Ned was my first friend, and eventually, my first crush, my first hand held, my first true love, and my first kiss.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the man hold a snowball,” Robb said with a lighthearted laugh. “Jory was the one who taught us how to make them.”

“Oh, we would have the biggest battles,” I laughed. “Once Lyanna and Benjen were old enough to join us, it was practically war. Your father was often the last one standing; he got a lot of joy from winning. He would climb up the towers and send the projectiles flying.”

“I’ve never known my father to be competitive.”

I shrugged.

“When Brandon died, your father very quickly had to grow up. He was younger than you are now when he had to learn to be the Lord of Winterfell. At least he prepared you your whole life, he had to learn it all within a week. Then, right after, he had to lead the North in a war. I think Ned left a some of himself behind in the process of becoming Warden of the North, such as his jests, his playful nature, even his impulsiveness. There are times when I catch a glimpse through his hard exterior and see the young man he’s always been, but for the most part, he keeps his shield up even now.”

Even with me.

“The first day we all sat and prepared to send out ravens was the first time I’d ever seen him so relaxed. It was different, but it was nice. Well, until that hostage jest you made.”

My eyes widened as I looked anywhere but Robb. I knew he had picked up on the shift in our tones. I gulped as I prepared for his next words. My mind was desperately working to find a way out of this conversation.

“I understand that Aunt Lyanna being taken prisoner must have been hard for him, but I did not think he would react in that manner.”

Relief flooded every inch of me. If this was the explanation he gave himself for the awkwardness of that conversation, I would not be the one to correct him.

“Lyanna and him were close,” I explained, “similar to Renly and I. When Lyanna died, she took a little piece of our hearts with her. But along came you and your siblings. While your father and I had drifted apart at that point, I now get to see the love he has for all six of you. You all helped piece him back together.”

“And what of your heart? Do you have anyone to piece it back together?”

I was not prepared for the question nor the wave of absolute heartbreak that came with it. My throat constricted as I faced the reminder that I was nearly alone in the world. The only one I had left was Ned and he was heading North.

“I’ve learned to live in pieces,” I honestly, scratching behind Grey Wind’s ear, “And that is okay.”

“It is not okay,” Robb argued. “A broken heart will only break more. You should allow someone in to heal it.”

“So wise for someone so young,” I whispered with a smile, holding his chin in my hand.

He brought his hand up to grab my wrist. This time he was much more gentle.

“Thank you, Cassandra, for being here. It’s comforting to have a mother’s gentleness during this time.”

“I am not a mother,” I absentmindedly responded as I wiped a bit of grime off of his cheek with my thumb.

“No, but you…. you love like one. Gentle and… kind.”

The corner of my mouth rose as I watched Robb’s eyes become heavy. I could see him fighting to keep them open. The medicine was working quickly so I leaned forwards and pulled Robb’s covers up. I moved some hair out of his face and checked his temperature with the back of my hand.

He was warm, but not feverish. Regardless, I would sit and wait with him as his body went through the worst of it, just as I had with Ned only a few months ago. Thanks to the half dosage of medicine, Robb’s mind would be at peace through it all.

“Get some sleep, Young Wolf,” I instructed, blowing out the candle on the table.

I only received the sound of a yawn in response. I stretched my arms as I settled in to my eat, trying to make myself comfortable. Grey Wind watched as I did so. I once again reached out to scratch him, this time under his chin.

“You can rest, big boy. I’ll watch him for you. No sense in both of us losing sleep tonight.”

Surprisingly, the beast listened to my words. I continued petting him as I allowed myself to feel the pain for Jon. All the worry I had ignored, the fear I felt not hearing back from him yet, and even my concern regarding whether he was happy all came rising up from within me. With my head back against the chair, I silently let the tears slide down my face as the night drew on.

Chapter Text

I spent the next few days outdoors, despite the rain. If I were being truthful, the rain is what made me go outside. It was nice to get out of the stuffy castle and into my routine as a fighter. I attempted to use the time to train with the other men, although it proved difficult because no one wanted to spar with a queen. One little tap with the flat of my sword and the soldier would yield.

After days of several failed sparring endeavors, I moved on to the training dummies. It was not nearly as beneficial as a normal squabble, but it did allow me to get more than one swing in. It also gave me the opportunity to meet the younger soldiers that were still learning the basics. With both Rodrick and Syrio going North with Ned, there had not been a designated master-at-arms for this unit. Unsurprisingly, thanks to my inability to say no, I found myself filling the vacant role.

That’s where I was, correcting a young man’s poor form, when the Crag’s Maester, Maester Pincet, came up to me. He held out a tiny little paper which had clearly been untied and read already. I wanted to roll my eyes but instead grabbed the scroll and after giving him my thanks, unwound it. My lips turned downwards as I began reading the words.

After reviewing the related archived documents, it has been made clear that the late King Robert of House Baratheon, first of his name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm had indeed named his sister as sole heir to Storm’s End. Therefore I, Selwyn Tarth, firmly believe that His Grace would have also given Cassandra the Iron Throne had he known the truth of the parentage of the false king, Joffrey Baratheon.

While House Tarth originally declared for Renly Baratheon, we have a witness that saw firsthand as Renly verified Cassandra’s claim to Storm’s End. Additionally, our trusted witness also watched as Renly handed over the Stormlands to his sister just moments before his death, which was caused by his brother, Stannis Baratheon.

Therefore House Tarth is issuing a declaration of support for Cassandra of House Baratheon as the true born Lady of Storm’s End and therefore recognizing her as the true Queen on the Iron Throne. I urge every Stormlander to remember the oaths they swore to King Robert, to Storm’s End and, in turn, to Queen Cassandra Baratheon.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I stood there rereading the same words over and over. I turned to see Jory watching me with concern all over his face. I handed him the scroll. His eyes had a proud glint in them when he looked back towards me.

“House Tarth is small, but it is something, Cass.”

“They are planting seeds, just as Brienne promised,” I reasoned. “Not only did they name me queen, but they told Renly’s truth, slandered Stannis and Joffrey both, as well as called out the houses in the Stormlands. They may be small, but this is a large gesture.”

“To think something so important was delivered tied to the leg of a bird,” Jory said with a smile. “So, now that this has been done, will you give Brienne a place in your Queensguard?”

“That is your decision, Jory. You have my full trust in the matter. However, if you are asking if your choice would have my blessing, it would.”

When we had gone away from Renly’s camp, Brienne had pulled me away from the group. She asked if I would allow her to join the ranks of my Queensguard since she saw first hand how Renly gave me his support and wanted to honor his memory. Seeing my opportunity even through my grief, I told her that if she was able to sway her father into standing with me, I would consider it a great service and reward her effort. The woman happily agreed to my terms and left us immediately. I knew Jory would give her a place in the Queensguard, though I only offered her a reward, just in case my Lord Commander surprised me.

This was the product of that transaction: the first seed of loyalty sown. While I had Dorne in my pocket thanks to Oberyn, that was a marriage pact that would remain a secret for the time being. Doran could not boast of my integrity and he could not defend me. Not in the way Selwyn Tarth just had.

Time would tell if this is a mere drop on the ocean, or if these words carried enough force to create a wave.

I rolled up the scroll and shoved it into my pocket. I wanted to feel happy about this news, but instead anxiety began sinking into my veins. I could not name the reason, but I was certain that something dreadful was on the horizon.

“What is on your mind, Cass?”

I did not bring up the sense of impending doom I felt, but rather redirected my worries.

“Stannis will attack King’s Landing any day now. We would have seized the opportunity to take the Rock, but instead Balon Greyjoy ruined the chance. I don’t think there will be such a perfect time. When we turn our eyes to Casterly Rock again we will need to be prepared to lose at least half our army. If Stannis is defeated, Tywin will send his men to hold the keep. If Stannis wins, he will likely take Casterly Rock quickly and fortify it. As much as I loathe the Lannisters for what they did to my brother, they have one of, if not the most valuable seats in Westeros. We would have had the golden opportunity.”

“Tywin is still in Harrenhal according to reports. Perhaps he will not move from there.”

“Oh, no. He’ll take his army south if he has any hope of defeating Stannis and keeping the Iron Throne. Joffrey is barely out of childhood and with my brother’s lifestyle, he didn’t teach the boy a single damn thing about sieges. Stannis held Storm’s End during the rebellion; he knows what tactics work and don’t work. The boy will not stand a chance.”

“King’s Landing will be difficult for Stannis to take, regardless of how many men and ships he has.”

“Aye, it will be difficult, but it is possible. You just need to know the city inside and out. That, and be up against an inexperienced child.”

“Does Stannis know the city?”

“If he was smart, then yes. He would have studied every historical document, map, and even tales that he could find regarding the city.”

“If it was you, where would you attack?”

“The Mud Gate, easily. It is the weakest and most vulnerable gate on the wall. Although, after seeing the tunnels, I might just sneak an army into the Red Keep from the coast. Cut the rot out at the root instead of making the innocent suffer.”

Jory stayed quiet, contemplating my words.

“King Stark only took six thousand men with him,” the man mused after a while. “He left a great number behind for you and Robb to command.”

I nodded. Ned and Oberyn went to ward off the Greyjoy attempts with twelve thousand men. Robb and I had another twelve thousand at our beck and call. Two thousand Dornishmen and ten thousand Northmen, all stationed at different castles around the Riverlands and Westerlands. With the addition of House Tarth, I could safely add one thousand men and four longships to our fighting force, though I would not mobilize them until I had more Stormland houses supporting me. They would not make it past the Reach before being thwarted.

My brow furrowed as I finally registered the suggestive tone in my Lord Commander’s words.

“Jory Cassel, are you encouraging your queen to go take Casterly Rock?”

“Dunno. Is it possible?”

I stood there as I thought over our options. The Rock was a nearly impregnable fortress. It was also the most powerful seat within Westeros. If we could get our hands on it, it would change the tides. We would have the undeniable advantage.

“Have you ever seen House Lannister’s seat?”

Jory shook his head.

“When we call it ‘The Rock’ it is no exaggeration. The entire castle was built into a mountain. Not on top of- into. The main entry point is the Lion’s Gate, but there are protected docks built into seaside caverns. There’s also a lone watchtower that comes out from the very peak of the mountain. Even with Tywin’s forces pulled to the South, he’ll have at least ten thousand men guarding the castle. At best, we would have equal numbers, but they would still get the defensive advantage.”

“I understand, My Queen. I had not realized it was so enclosed.”

I stood there, fingers wrapping around the hilt of my shortsword. I had once developed a scheme during the Rebellion to take the Rock, however Tywin turned on the Mad King before I had the chance to bring my thoughts to Robert and Ned. Back then, I factored in more men fighting in the vanguard. However, it might just work with our numbers. The Northmen had proven themselves to be the better warriors over the Lannister soldiers. If the Dornishmen had even an ounce of Oberyn’s skill, they would also outmatch Tywin’s guards.

Jory smirked.

“You have a plan.”

“Aye, I have a plan. Let me talk to Robb.”

My feet had practically memorized the walk to the Crag’s makeshift infirmary. I would visit Robb every night before I tried to get some sleep. The castle had become more welcoming to me once they realized I was with the Starks rather than another enemy trying to claim the castle. That did not stop the halls from feeling cold and empty as I walked through them. Grey Wind was in the kennels; his howl only added to the ominous foreboding I felt within these walls.

I pushed open the wooden door to see that Robb was missing from his bed. I was not surprised; he had been able to stand and walk a little more each day. The boy may look like a Tully, but he proved himself a stubborn Northman. He refused any more than the initial half dosage of Milk of the Poppy, he would not listen to the maid or the maester’s advice, the boy even tried walking onto the training yard one day to spar, though Jory was quick to get him back into the castle.

When it became clear that Robb was not in his normal places, I quickly became anxious. I had one job from Catelyn, one single thing to get right, and I’ve already lost my ward after mere days?

I started bursting into empty rooms, looking for any sign of Ned’s boy. When I made it up to where I knew the Westerling chambers were, my anxiety turned into fully fledged panic. There were not many doors left and I could not see a reason for Robb to be up this far in the castle. Jory was across from me, taking the right side of the hall and throwing open doors.

As we neared the last four doors in the hallway, I was preparing to kill anyone who might have taken Robb. Since coming to the Crag, I learned that Lord Westerling had been captured during the same battle that landed Jaime in a cell. There was a very real possibility that someone captured Robb as a form of vengeance and planned to deliver him directly to Tywin Lannister.

Although that fear was soon put at ease when Jory yelled out Robb’s name. I whirled around to charge into the room, but Jory slammed the door shut and held out his arms, keeping me from entering.

“He’s in there? Is he okay?”

“Yes,” Jory responded, nodding aggressively. “And yes.”

Jory was red from the neck up. He walked my way and wrapped his arms around me. When he tried to move me away from the door, I made myself as heavy as Robert, slipping out of his grasp.

“C’mon, Cass, the boy is fine-“

His behavior was doing nothing to ease my anxieties. I needed to see Robb in good health. I tried to push past Jory but he was able to block me once more.

“I just want to make sure he is okay with my own eyes.”

“No, it’s no sight for a lady, let alone a queen.”

Before I could tell Jory in gory detail of how I disemboweled a man for the first time, the door opened to reveal Robb. His hair was plastered to his face and for a moment I feared he had a fever. Until I took in his untucked shirt, unlaced britches, and missing shoes. Then I knew exactly what Jory had tried so hard to keep me from seeing.

“If the boy was fucking, Jory, you could have just told me that,” I laughed, turning towards my Queensguard. “I would not have fucking fought you so much.”

“That’s horrid language for a queen,” a tiny voice said from behind Robb.

I quickly looked past him to see the girl that had been doting on the prince night and day. I realized then I had never heard her speak.

“And what would a maid know about how a queen speaks,” I questioned, my defensiveness bubbling up. I did not appreciate her condescending tone.

The girl looked between Robb and I as I glared down at her. Robb’s eyes were anywhere but on mine. Jory, quickly sensing the rising tension, gently grabbed my elbow in an attempt to guide me away.

“I am no maid, Your Grace,” the girl continued, “I am Lady Jeyne Westerling, the daughter of Lord Galen Westerling. My sincerest apologies if I’ve offended you.”

When the title was said, me and the two Northmen all exclaimed:

“Lady?!?!”

I immediately pushed Robb into the room, grabbing the barely dressed girl and shoving her towards Jory. I tossed a nearby blanket at him so that he could cover her better.

“Get her to a private room and do not let anyone in until you hear Syrio’s knock.”

The ever loyal Jory nodded and went to do as I had commanded. I shut the door behind me and turned on Robb.

“Did you know she was a lady?”