Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The funeral service was nice, although he couldn’t bear to look at Inko. He stayed in the back corner the entire time, with his head down – blinking away tears. There weren’t enough people there, he noticed, not for Izuku. He deserved a fucking parade. 

Inko hasn’t cleared out Izuku’s room, and Katsuki doesn’t even know if she’s planning on it. He went into his room before the funeral, planning on driving to it together so Inko wouldn’t have to be alone. His room was fucking covered in All Might stuff, so much so it almost made Katsuki smile. He didn’t know if his parents blamed him or not, but that didn’t stop his guilt. He had an All Might trading card framed above his desk. 

An identical card to the one Katsuki kept in his pocket. 

He knows how Izuku did it and why; Inko called them first, for some odd reason. He wrote a note and stuffed it in his backpack before jumping off the roof of a building he shouldn’t have ended up on. 

Amongst other things, the note explicitly said it wasn’t Katsuki’s fault, and he shouldn’t feel guilty. He told him to go be a hero , and how he wished he could be around to see how great Katsuki would become. He wrote that he met All Might, and finally asked the question of whether or not he could become a hero without a quirk. Katsuki guessed Izuku’s final straw was his idol telling him he would never achieve his dreams. Still, maybe he wouldn’t have even asked All Might if Katsuki remained his friend. Maybe he would have never been on that roof. 

Whatever. It’s the past now. 

Katsuki got his acceptance letter to UA, and stared at it for a while, sitting at the end of his bed. He got first place in the entrance exam, so of course he got into the school, but somehow he felt like he shouldn’t have. Ever since the end of the school year, Katsuki’s been different. He’s not the same outwardly confident, arrogant child he was the day of the incident. He’s quieter, detached, and everyone who knows him has noticed. Izuku wanted to go to UA, too. When they were kids they always dreamed of becoming heroes together. Katsuki guessed that changed when he got his quirk. 

He’s always been told that he would be the best. He knew that it was common for parents to encourage children and give them hope for the future. He also knew that it’s probably important to do that in smaller doses along with lessons on empathy and sharing. He never really understood those concepts, even when they were spelled out for him right in front of his eyes later on. He assumed that he could be the hero he idolized by destroying his enemies, never giving a second glance to those alongside him – or in most cases, behind him; (isn’t that right, Izuku?)

He can’t remember a time where he wasn’t miles ahead of everyone around him, turning around to see his peers crawling- struggling to keep up. A real hero might have run back to help them to their feet and guide them forward. He was not that hero. 

People always followed him wherever he went, watching with admiration in their eyes when he did something that they couldn’t even dream of doing. But that’s the thing. Someone did dream of doing big things too. 

He was so dead-set on becoming number one that he never actually stopped to think about all the characteristics that went along with that. Katsuki had the reputation for being “awesome”, and he could hold his own no matter the circumstances, but surely he was no hero. He was the opposite. He would push away people that he didn’t understand, clinging to the belief that he would always be the best. 

He tormented the one person who decided to really know him, beyond his quirk at least. For years he was relentless, but he knew he had gone too far as soon as the words “swan dive” came out of his mouth. Is that why he feels so guilty? Izuku really did take his advice, after all, even if he doesn’t blame Katsuki.

Maybe he knows that his arrogance is what killed Izuku Midoriya, maybe he’s just different after losing him.

Maybe he was prideful, maybe he was just too young to understand that no , you actually can’t always be the best at everything you do. You won’t always be “awesome” when you’re only just starting out. He thinks he’s starting to get that now. Either way, he’ll have to show up to UA knowing he's the only villain in the hero course. 

He woke up pissed the morning of his first day at UA, and it took him longer than usual to find the motivation to get out of bed. The room was dark, only a faint light coming in through the window so early in the morning. Eventually, he threw the covers off of his body and sat on the edge of the mattress. He looked over at the trading card on his nightstand, and stared at it for God knows how long. 

All Might would be teaching at UA, and Katsuki would have to stare at him every day, a constant reminder of what they had done; both he and All Might. 

He could feel his heart rate rising, and his jaw starting to clench, so he looked away from the trading card, back to staring at his feet. The room was silent.

“Kacchan?” 

What the fuck?

Katsuki’s head flew up, spots clouding his vision for a moment. He frantically scanned his room, feeling his heart rate skyrocket. He laid back on the bed when he didn’t see anyone, feeling thoroughly insane. 

He brought his arm over his face to cover his eyes when he heard it again. 

“Kacchan.” 

His breath shuddered as he lowered his arm, sitting up on his elbows. 

Standing beside the door was Izuku Midoriya, dressed in his white T-shirt and faded jeans. Katsuki scanned his body, his hand flying to cover his mouth. Even through the tears starting to well in his eyes, he could see the tufts of green hair. 

Chapter Text

Honestly, Katsuki couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t going completely insane. 

He had freaked out when Izuku first appeared in his room, calling out his stupid fucking childish nickname, but he had flickered away before Katsuki could even process what was happening. He stared at the wall where Izuku had just disappeared from with a shell-shocked expression, and a sinking feeling in his gut. 

He knew that, logically, he would have to get up. Today was move-in day to the UA dorms, and a chance to meet his homeroom teacher and classmates. He liked to be first to things to avoid having to talk to people, who triggered his irritability, (which had only gotten worse since the incident). He was noticeably quieter, yes, but he was even more pissed at himself the world. 

He planted his feet on the floor, legs shaking slightly, and stood up. 

He didn’t even remember getting dressed, too lost in his own mind to register the world around him. His uniform was too big, partly unbuttoned, and his pants hung low on his hips. He suspected Izuku would give him shit for dressing that way at UA , but Izuku wasn’t here anymore, now was he? Tch . He placed his hearing aid in his ear and left his room after tucking the trading card in his left pocket. 

He avoided meeting his parents’ eyes as he walked through the living room to the front door. He packed the boxes of his things in the car the night before, so leaving his house quickly wouldn’t be an issue. 

“Katsuki.” 

He hung his head low, but stopped walking. He clenched his fists, waiting for his father to continue. 

“Can you look at me, kiddo?” Katsuki raised his head just enough to see his father’s face. A small, concerned smile was what he was met with. Concern that he didn’t fucking deserve.

“You’re going to need someone to drive you there, and your mother’s at Inko’s this morning.” 

“Is that right.” Katsuki says, looking down at the floor again. Of course his mother would be consoling Inko today. UA was Izuku’s dream school, of course, and today was the orientation. The orientation that his bully got to go to, while he was rotting in the ground. He was pissed at how fucking unfair it was. How fucking unfair the world was.

He didn’t know how he could ever look Inko in the eye again.

Katsuki sat in the passenger seat on the silent drive to UA. He suspected he would be taking the train in the event that he visited home, but he couldn’t do that today because of all the boxes. He stared out the window to avoid looking at his father. 

When they arrived at UA, the process was fairly simple. Katsuki was allowed inside the gate because of his I.D, but his father was not. He was supposed to drop any belongings Katsuki needed for his dorm at a separate area, while Katsuki made his way to the ‘Heights Alliance’. Katsuki turned his head away in acknowledgment when his father bid him goodbye, but said nothing. 

The second he passed through the gates, a wave of guilt washed over him. He stared at the main building in the distance, knowing how amazed Izuku would be to step foot on the campus. He turned his eyes down as he walked, a scowl plastered on his face. Somehow the brick pathways became wildly interesting. 

Somehow, he was the first to enter the dormitory, where someone was on the floor occupying a yellow sleeping bag. Katsuki stopped dead in his tracks, and glared down at the man as he unzipped the bag and stood up. 

To say he looked disheveled would be an understatement, along with saying Katsuki was staring at him exasperatedly. He was dressed in all black, and had an odd, grey scarf wrapped around his neck.

“Bakugou Katsuki,” The man said, “I am Aizawa Shota, your homeroom teacher.” 

Katsuki tongued his cheek, and looked away. He didn’t quite understand why he was so irritated, but he suspected it had something to do with Izuku. Everything these days had something to do with him. 

Aizawa continued, “You may wait in the common room for all of your classmates to arrive.” 

Once he determined that his teacher was not going to say anything else, he walked over to one of the chairs. The way they were currently arranged, he would have several blindspots, so he dragged one of the single-chairs into a corner and threw himself into it. This way, he could see both the exit and all the people that were soon to enter the room. He could feel Aizawa’s eyes on him, but Katsuki paid him no mind, crossing his arms over his midsection. 

Izuku would definitely have a notebook out by now, scrambling to question the teacher, or buzzing with excitement simply by being here. Knowing him, he’d probably be late just because of his excitement or some stupid shit like that. 

The stupid fucking nerd would probably feel grateful to get to be in a class with Katsuki, even after he told him to kill himself. That blind admiration was part of what led to his death. 

He heard the door open and raised his head to see four people enter the common room. They walked through the room to Aizawa, who was newly leaned against a wall. The pink girl with raccoon eyes was cheerful in a way that reminded him of Izuku, smiling at a boy with spiked, red hair. Guilt panged inside of his chest as he watched them listen to Aizawa speak, although he couldn’t make out what they were saying even with his hearing aid in. The other two who walked in with them watched intently, as if they were going to be quizzed on the content at any moment. One was a girl with sleek, black hair, the other was a stiff boy with glasses. 

Aizawa gestured in the direction of the couches, and Katsuki focused on the red-haired boy as he made his way over to the couches, who only then realized there was someone else in the room. 

Although Katsuki was only looking at the spiky red hair of his classmate, the boy with glasses rushed over to him, “I did not realize another one of my peers had already entered the dormitor-”

“Fuck off,” Katsuki scowled. 

The four students in the room all looked taken aback, and the boy with red hair cocked his head slightly. The boy with glasses gasped and started gesturing back and forth with his arms in a way that exasperated Katsuki. 

“It is only our first day at this prestigious academy-” 

Katsuki sparked his palm slightly as a warning, and glared at the boy, raising his voice. 

“I told you, fuck off .” 

Finally, Glasses backed down and returned to where the other three were sitting together on the couches. Katsuki scowled deeper and turned his head away with arrogance he didn’t feel.

Izuku would probably have gotten along with the rest of the class, muttering to himself as they told him about their quirks. He never thought he’d actually miss the annoying fucking muttering he always used to hear behind him, (but he guessed he’d fucking have to to be hallucinating the damn nerd).

The rest of the class soon filed into the common room, and thankfully no one else bothered to greet Katsuki. He heard them introduce themselves to one another, but didn’t even attempt to learn their names. He only looked up when he heard Aizawa clear his throat. 

Aizawa was standing in between the couch-area and the tables, with his arms crossed. Katsuki watched his eyes do a quick scan of the room, before starting to speak. 

“As you all know by now, I am Aizawa Shota, your homeroom teacher,” He drawled, “Today will be a move-in day and a chance to tour yourselves around the campus. Your belongings have been brought upstairs to your respective dorms.” 

Aizawa started to walk and gestured for us all to follow. Katsuki gets up with the rest of the class, burying his hands in his pockets and focusing solely on Aizawa. He explains the dorm layout, along with some rules that go along with sharing a space with 19 other people. 

What piqued Katsuki’s interest was the explanation of the kitchen. It was a shared space that anyone could use, and while there was a lunch rush, students were permitted to use the dorm kitchen. Katsuki was a fantastic cook, so he hung behind for a moment more as they passed through. Better yet, he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone outside of training if he avoided social places.

Unfortunately there were shared showers separated by gender, which would be wildly annoying for his plan of not associating himself with anyone. 

Katsuki noticed that as they walked, there were some vague groups starting to form, whispering to a few people about stupid shit they found interesting. 

Before they were instructed to set up their dorms, they were given a brief explanation of how the day would go. All Katsuki heard was that they set up the dorms, then could do whatever, getting ready for tomorrow: orientation. He was handed a key with his name and room number, which he shoved in his right pocket. 

He didn’t wait for any more invitation, walking ahead of the crowd as he made his way up the stairs. He found his room easily, one close to the end of the hall on the fourth floor. He paused a moment before entering, staring at the door. He wondered how Izuku would decorate his room, probably chock-full of his weirdstalker All Might shit. He scowled, and went to push open his door. 

He heard someone walk over to the room beside his, who also paused. He suspected they were staring at him, so he whipped his head around. 

It was the spiky-red-haired boy, smiling warily at him. His hair really wasn’t all like his own. The spikes were taller, definitely involving a fuck-ton of product. Katsuki scowled at him before pushing open his door and stepping inside, slamming it behind him. 

The room was fairly small, and filled with boxes. The layout was nice, a closet beside the door, and a small bathroom in the corner. He opened the clothing box first, to pull out a comfortable skull T-shirt, which he changed into. He worked efficiently as he unpacked, his room looking progressively more gloomy as he did so, as all of his stuff was black. He replaced the room's furniture with his own black pieces, and changed the curtains to black-out. Pushed into the far corner was his bed with grey sheets and black blankets. There was a shelf on the headboard where he placed a digital alarm clock, and a lamp, (which he guaranteed he’d use more than the main light). His desk had a black rolling chair, and he organized his school supplies neatly. There was a stand-alone fan in the corner to keep his room cool in the night; he probably shouldn’t blow up the dorm building in his sleep. He placed a globe on his desk along with a taxidermy bat paper-weight he had tormented his father with. He unpacked clothes, toiletries, and some personal belongings which he tucked under his bed. 

When his room was comfortable, he made his way over to the final box. He knelt beside it and opened it carefully, pulling out some random posters. He placed the Misfits poster above his bed, which matched some other various punk elements. When there was only one thing left to unpack, he tongued his cheek before kneeling beside the box. 

He pulled out a small photo of him and Izuku when they were children, and walked over to his desk. He pulled a tac from his bulletin board and pinned it in the corner. 

The photo was of them first opening the hero trading-card packs, when they both pulled out All Might. They looked so purely happy, Katsuki wondered what happened. I happened , his mind supplied. When he couldn’t look at the picture anymore, he moved to the discarded pile of boxes, which he crushed and piled in the corner by the closet with the promise that he’d bring them downstairs, (to an adequate garbage), when he went downstairs to make himself food. 

He took one final look around his room before throwing himself onto his back on his bed. He carefully snaked one hand into his left pocket to pull out the trading card. He held it in his hands for a few seconds before jumping out of his skin. 

“Kacchan?”

Chapter Text

Izuku was there, again, standing in the center of Katsuki’s dorm room, with a curious look in his eyes. Katsuki was wearing that same, shell shocked expression, completely frozen, and sitting up on his elbows. 

“Can you see me, Kacchan?” He asked, his eyes going wider, a glint of hope shining in them. 

Katsuki scanned his body, but Izuku didn't disappear. He took a step closer to Katsuki, whose mouth fell open. 

“What the fuck?” Katsuki breathed, his arms starting to shake. 

Izuku’s eyes looked guilty, and his hand flew to the back of his neck as if he was pondering what to say next. Katsuki’s breathing had yet to even out, his heart hammering in his chest. “Y-you're dead! I went to your dumbass nerd funeral! You’re not fucking real.” 

Izuku lowered his head for a moment, before raising it again, looking nervous.

“I’m not exactly sure what’s happening here either, Kacchan.”

Katsuki felt his chest constrict, and he shakily sat up against the wall. He watched as Izuku walked toward his bed; It looked like he was able to the blanket, but it didn't react at all to him. What the fuck was happening? Izuku was dead, Inko saw the body. He was fucking burried , Katsuki was there during all of it, too ashamed to see the corpse. This couldn’t be real, it was a fucking hallucination. Maybe he really was as insane as his mother said. Oh no, you’re totally balanced.

Both of Katsuki’s hands flew to his mouth, leaving the trading card on his lap. He felt his whole body shaking. 

Izuku gave him another small smile. 

Holy shit. Maybe Katsuki was so fucking guilty for killing the damn nerd that he was actually being tormented by his spirit. Katsuki felt tears well in his eyes, and his breaths started to choke. 

He placed the trading hard on the headboard, crawled warily to the end of the mattress, and slid off the side. He tried his hardest not to look at Izuku’s eyes, scared that if he did he might cry. He held one hand out to touch Izuku’s hair, and to his complete shock, he could feel it. He ripped his hand away, and stared at Izuku, who seemed to be just as surprised. 

It had been ages since he’d accidentally activated his quirk, so the crackling sounds coming from his palms were another shock. He was about to have a fucking heart attack with the way it was pounding in his chest. As he stumbled backward, he hit the back of his knee on his mattress.

“ Fuck .” Katsuki said, hand flying to his mouth again. 

Tears in his eyes threatened to fall as Izuku stared at him. 

It’s like the fucking stories of murderers haunted by the people they kill , he thought, tears finally falling. He was guilty, and this was what he deserved. There was no fucking use crying about it when it wouldn’t change the past . 

Izuku cocked his head to the side. 

“Kacchan?” 

He felt like the walls were caving in. He needed out.

Katsuki wiped his eyes with his hands and sprung up from the bed, grabbing the cardboard in the corner and practically flying out the door, pulling it shut behind him. He hunched his shoulders as he made his way down the stairs; To his dismay, he heard voices in the common room. 

He made sure his eyes were completely dry as he exited the staircase. He made a point not to look at anyone, but he saw people staring out of the corner of his eye. It was clear there was tension in the room, from everyone just having met each other. Or maybe it was because he had entered… whatever. 

He guessed Glasses probably told them about his aggression, not that he cared. 

He scowled, and made his way to the kitchen, where he found a larger garbage bin, and shoved his cardboard inside. He waited a moment before turning around, trying to quell the sinking feeling in his gut. He took a deep breath, and turned out of the kitchen. 

He couldn’t tell if anyone was looking at him anymore, despite the fact that he kept his head raised. Despite his guilt, he was still striving to be number one, of course. Hell, it was the one fucking thing Izuku said he wished he could be around to see. On that note, he needed something to prove for a fact that Izuku wasn’t a guilt-induced hallucination. 

He shoved his hands in his pockets, but before he could round the corner to the stairs, he was stopped. 

The same boy with red hair was in front of him, smiling innocently. They were about the same height, so their red eyes were level. Katsuki squinted his eyes before pushing past him, muttering “watch where you’re fucking going, Shitty-Hair.”

When Katsuki pushed his door open, he didn’t see Izuku. He took a step into his room, closing the door warily behind him. In front of him, he saw Izuku faze back into his room through the curtain. The sight made his stomach twist. 

He grit his teeth before speaking. 

“Tell me something about a hero that I don’t know.” 

Izuku looked taken aback. 

“What?” 

“Prove you’re not a fucking hallucination,” Katsuki clarified, angrily, moving to sit on his bed. 

Izuku hummed, placing his hand on his chin to think before he started muttering. Katsuki didn’t know how to feel when he noticed he wasn’t immediately irritated by the noise. 

“The top American hero, ‘Star and Stripe’, has a quirk that allows her to set rules on anything she touches, giving her near omnipotent abilities,” Izuku finally said, “although I actually do think the quirk has a two at a time limit, which really only slightly lessens the-” 

Katsuki watched as Izuku rambled. He felt around for his phone on the headboard, and searched what the quirk of the top American hero could do. The quirk was called ‘New Order’, and the description of it was nearly identical to the one Izuku gave. There was no way Katsuki could have known that, nor any way his subconscious could have guessed it. 

He looked back up at Izuku, who was still muttering to himself in the center of Katsuki’s room. 

It really was Izuku.

Katsuki wasn’t sure how exactly he was feeling. 

For months after Izuku had died, Katsuki was irrefutably pissed. He would snap at anyone who bothered him, but was otherwise silent in his misery. There was a sinking feeling in his gut constantly, and every time he thought about Izuku it only got worse. He never admitted that he missed the nerd, convincing himself that he was only guilty because he’d died . 

He wasn’t arrogant so much as angry, which was a difference noticeable in Katsuki as he didn’t parade himself around anymore. He avoided everyone, instead. 

Everytime something would remind him of Izuku, he’d feel the unexplainable need to burn himself using the quirk he’d hurt Izuku with so many times. The day he got the UA acceptance letter was the day he actually went through with the impulse, and he has the half-healed burns on his shoulder to prove it. 

Now, staring at Izuku in front of him , was something he was sure just yesterday he’d never see again. Yet here he was. 

Izuku turned to face Katsuki, before starting to speak coherently. 

“I think there’s a good chance my soul is tied to the All Might card,” Izuku determined. 

 Katsuki blinked at him, frowning slightly, before turning his eyes away to think. He didn’t know anything about ghosts or souls, but he suspected that if anyone were to get tied to the land of the living by Katsuki’s All Might card, it would be Izuku. 

Izuku explained how he was only able to go wherever the card was. He originally thought he was tied to Katsuki, but he noticed whenever went far rnough without it, Izuku would stay put. He explained how the first few months of being a ghost were vague, and he didn’t have much memory of them, and ended his story with Katsuki finally being able to see him. Katsuki listened intently, with his eyes on the card. 

“Fucking sucks for you that you’re tied to me ,” Katsuki muttered. 

He didn’t miss the slight tilt of Izuku’s head out of the corner of his eye. 

“Kacchan?” 

“I’m the one who fucking told you to do it.” 

The room was quiet, Katsuki could barely hear the low noise from the fan in the corner. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Izuku, and settled for scowling at the wall. 

“Yeah, you did. But you’re not the reason I chose to,” Izuku started, but before he could say anything else, Katsuki had slid off of the bed and stomped out the door.

Chapter Text

The breeze from the rooftop ruffled his hair. Katsuki stared down at the pond as Izuku pulled his scorched notebook from the water with his head hung low. He remembered feeling relieved that day when Izuku hadn’t listened to him – that Izuku was still alive. 

The moment after he said ‘Swan dive’ he knew he’d gone too far, but he left the classroom anyway along with his ‘friends’. He looked behind him to peer through the window, where he saw Deku hanging his head in his hands. His chest had started to hurt, and before he knew what he was doing, he was telling his friends to not follow him or ask questions as he bolted for the stairs. 

He’d never actually do something like that, right? Didn’t the nerd have some stupid dreams of his own? 

He told himself he was ‘only doing this so Deku’s stupid nerd ass doesn’t haunt me’, as he approached the roof fence. 

Deku had always made him feel weak, looking down on Katsuki, but he didn’t want the nerd to die . He waited on the roof until he was positive Izuku wasn’t going to meet him there, and then walked home as the sun began to set. He’d only just gotten home when Mitsuki got the call from Inko. 

Izuku was dead – he really jumped. 

They went over to Inko’s that day and read the note over and over until it was just Katsuki alone on the couch, clutching the paper in his shaking hands. He sat there alone even when he couldn’t read the words anymore, his eyes full of tears. 

He couldn’t tell if he was devastated the nerd was really gone, or if it was just the guilt for planting that stupid fucking idea in his head. Sure, Izuku had written that it wasn’t his fault, but everyone had to know it was. 

He was a firm believer that there was no use wallowing in the past when there was nothing he could do to change it, but he couldn't help himself. That day played on loop in the back of his mind constantly, and somehow he was still conflicted. 

As he entered the UA common room, he noticed most of the people there previously had dispersed, leaving only the pink girl and the spiky haired boy. He heard them talking together on the couch, but they’d stopped when he walked in. Katsuki walked past them, and into the kitchen. 

Before Katsuki could even begin to cook, something he used to do to clear his mind, he heard the small beep from his hearing aid, signaling it had died. Of fucking course . He dug his nails into his palm before taking the device out of his ear and shoving it into his right pocket. 

He opened the fridge to see if there was any food stocked, or if he would need to buy some for himself. Aizawa had explained that any food on the doors should have a label signaling who it belonged to, but any food in the main fridge was open for anyone to take. Fortunately, he saw some ingredients he could use to make simplified Oyakodon. 

He pulled various items from the fridge, and cooking supplies he would need, and laid them on the counter. He was about to turn to grab a knife when someone appeared behind him, startling him into setting off a defensive explosion. 

“What the fuck?!” 

Katsuki turned to see who he just maimed, and was surprised to see the spiky-haired boy, who seemed to be completely fine. 

“Bakugou, right?” 

He could still understand people speaking in close-quarters, even without his hearing aid, although the sound was muffled. Katsuki scanned his eyes up and down the boy, whose clothes even managed to get away unscathed. 

“Fuck off, Shitty Hair.” 

“Hey! My names Kirishima,” He started, “And my hair’s not too different from yours, y’know,” 

Katsuki turned around again, taking one of the knives from a top drawer, and heading back to his set-up. He turned his head slightly when he heard the muffled sound of murmuring next to him. 

There were now three idiots crowding him in the kitchen, with the addition of Pinky, and a boy with bright yellow hair. They all looked at him expectantly, and he glared at them for a second before scoffing. 

“Listen up, fuckers,” He growled, reaching into his right pocket and pulling out his hearing aid, raising it for them to see, “This damn thing died, so I now I can’t fucking hear you unless I’m looking at you.”  

He was about to return to his task, when he tongued his cheek and glared at the group. 

“If you losers underestimate me, you’ll fucking die,” He scowled, “Now get the fuck out.”

With that, he turned back to the cutting board, and started chopping scallions. 

He still needed a game plan for what to do about Izuku. He didn’t even feel sure of himself interacting with the nerd anymore – just looking at him was a reminder of what he’d done. He’d seething in his guilt for all these months, but never went as far as to figure out what’d do differently with him if he got a do-over. What can he say? He’s a realist. 

He knew it was his own fault, but what was he supposed to do about it now? The nerd was already dead, so how the fuck was Katsuki supposed to act? How was he even supposed to feel ?

By the time he’d started simmering the ingredients, he was no closer to coming to a decision. He felt like he was going completely insane, and didn’t know what else to do but avoid Izuku as much as he could, trying to prevent a spiral. Katsuki didn’t think he’d be able to look into his wide, green eyes for more than maybe a second without his stomach twisting. 

He noticed the stock bubbling up over the pan and hastily lowered the heat. He removed the pot from the stove and scooped the soup onto the bowl of rice he’d prepared. He cleared the counter as he waited for the Oyakodon to cool. He moved his dish to one of the farthest tables from the groups of people starting to gather in the common room again, and sat down. 

With his hearing aid dead, Katsuki couldn’t be sure whether or not the conversation had stopped, but then again, he didn’t care. The Oyakodon was good, even if it was over-simplified with the ingredients he could find in the fridge. He tried to think of anything that could help him feel normal, but he came up blank. He was so lost in his head that he didn’t notice someone walk toward him, until they were in front of his table.

Katsuki looked at the person expectantly through his brow. 

To absolutely no one's surprise, it was Shitty Hair. 

“Fuck off,” Katsuki scoffed, rolling his eyes.

He got up, washed his dish hastily, and disappeared around the corner, his hands buried deep in his pockets. By the time he made it to his door, he felt no more prepared to see Izuku than when he’d left. 

He pushed the door open, to see Izuku sitting on the floor beside Katsuki’s bed. 

Katsuki balled his fists, and took a quick breath, unsure of what exactly he was doing. 

“Izuku-”

Izuku’s eyes widened in poorly hidden shock. 

“Something to say, nerd?” He scowled. 

“You- you said ‘Izuku’.” 

Katsuki scowled, his guilt and anger mixing an unwanted concoction in his gut.

“Yeah, well that’s the name engraved in your fucking headstone.”

Chapter Text

The look of shock in Izuku’s eyes was enough to push Katsuki’s anger over the edge, or maybe it was guilt? He couldn’t tell anymore.

“I don’t fucking understand it!” Katsuki yelled, his jaw starting to shake, “How could you possibly write that it wasn’t my fault?”

Izuku stood up, his hands held out placatingly. 

“Kacchan-” 

“Our whole fucking lives all I’ve ever done was look down on you, because that’s what it felt like you were doing to me,” Katsuki clutched the collar of his shirt, “Why did you keep trying to catch up to me?” 

Katsuki knew he should stop, but he couldn’t control the words from spilling from his mouth. He watched Izuku’s expression grow more concerned, which made him feel so much worse.

“You were always behind me, our whole fucking lives! You were stuck to me, and no matter how hard I tried, you kept coming back! You made me feel so weak!” He lowered his head, tears forming on his waterline, “ I wanted you gone for so long, but now I don’t know what to do! 

“How could I possibly become the number one hero when I’m already the reason someone is dead?!” 

Oh.

Izuku furrowed his brow, suddenly completely lost for words. The sound of Katsuki’s hyperventilating filled his ears, and his mouth hung slightly open.

“I’ve never looked down on you, Kacchan,” Izuku started, “Even when you were a dick to me, I still wanted to see the hero you’d become.”

Katsuki looked up, tears rolling down his face. His body was shaking, his hand still clutching his shirt. In the short distance between them, Katsuki could make out every word. 

Izuku sighed, pursing his lips before continuing, “You’ve been carrying this guilt with you the whole time, blaming yourself. I’m not going to say I forgive you for everything you did to me, not yet anyway, but I will say I meant everything I wrote in that letter.” 

Katsuki’s hand floated slowly to cover his mouth, as he sank down to the floor with his back against the wall. 

“I don’t fucking know what to do,” Katsuki repeated, removing his hand from his mouth. 

With that, Izuku’s gaze shifted into something determined. 

“I have an idea.” 

Katsuki furrowed his brow, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Take the card with you to training,” Izuku said.

“Why would you want that?” Katsuki grumbled. 

 Izuku smiled slightly, “I’m already dead, Kacchan, I’ve got nothing left to lose. Maybe this way, we can both become heroes.”

Chapter Text

Katsuki could barely look at Izuku as he said ‘heroes’. 

The nerd looked different now than when he was alive; lacking that hopeful enthusiasm, his skin was paler and his eyes were haunting. Every time Katsuki looked at him, his guilt intensified. Yeah, fuckwad, you did that to him . 

They sat in silence for a few moments before Katuki sprang up from his spot on the floor and stormed into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Could Izuku phase through walls? Would he if he could? He splashed cold water in his face before looking up at the mirror above the sink. He stared into his own eyes the way he couldn’t with Izuku’s. 

He doesn’t see the fiery passion he felt in battle, instead his eyes looked dead. His red irises were dark in the dimly-lit bathroom, and there were dark circles beneath his eyes. 

He didn’t sleep well anymore, and he suspected he wouldn’t, not with Izuku’s ghost haunting him. 

He didn’t understand what Izuku meant by becoming heroes together – not exactly, anyway. Izuku would get to observe the courses he once hoped to attend, but then what? He was already dead . 

Wait, didn’t Izuku say something like that?

He did. Katsuki looked down at the sink. 

“I’m already dead, Kacchan, I’ve got nothing left to lose. Maybe this way, we can both become heroes.”

Izuku must have some idea what he was talking about, right? He was a stupid nerd, but he wasn’t that stupid. He must have known his training to be a hero would be futile, didn’t he? Katsuki looked up at the mirror again, peeking at his dishevelled blonde spikes of hair as he opened the bathroom door. 

Katsuki looked at Izuku for a moment, before turning his eyes to the ground, scowling. 

“What did you mean… become heroes together?” Katsuki asked, peering at Izuku’s body through his brow.

Izuku pointed at the card still lying on the headboard, “Well, I am kinda stuck to that ,” Izuku said.

Katsuki rolled his eyes. 

“Well, no shit,” Katsuki scoffed, “I meant explain how you think you can still be a hero. You’re… dead.”

Izuku smiled slightly, the effort not reaching his eyes. 

“Yeah, I know that, Kacchan.” He continued, “Think about it.” 

Katsuki squinted at Izuku, giving him a chance to go on. 

“I’ve been chasing you our whole lives, even you have to admit I know what I’m talking about when it comes to heroes,” Izuku asserted, “If you feel sorry about what happened, you’ll think about what I have to say.”

Now that was something to process. He didn’t have the pride to question when the nerd got so bold, he suspected he already knew the answer.

Katsuki tongued his cheek before going to slide down the wall he had been leaning on before, facing Izuku. He exhaled. What did he have to lose by pushing the nerd away, now ? He was already dead, and even that didn’t stop him from chasing Katsuki. He was observant enough to know a lot about the notebooks, one of which he burned and threw into the pond. Those notebooks were part of the reason Izuku had freaked him out, but as he thought about it, they were dozens of completely filled pages on hero-analysis. 

Somewhere in the months that Izuku died, he’d stopped hating the nerd. He could at least admit that much, but having the nerd hang around him might make him feel worse. 

Katsuki had a feeling he knew what the nerd was proposing, and the feeling in his chest wouldn’t let him decline. 

He raised his head signaling for Izuku to continue. 

Izuku flexed his hands before he started talking.

Katsuki had always believed that not being strong enough to win alone meant being too weak to win at all. He was obsessed with the idea of indubitable victory, where everyone would know that he was number one – the best . His hero had that, All Might had that. 

However, in the months after Izuku’s death, All Might was nothing more than a bitter aftertaste. If his ‘hero’ was almost as responsible for an innocent’s death as he was, what did that make Katsuki for looking up to him?

He guessed that particular spiral was part of the reason he accepted Izuku’s strategy-proposal, with a scoff. Despite his indifferent facade, his acceptance alleviated some of the guilt weighing on him. 

Katsuki was still leaned against the same wall, as Izuku’s smile grew. Katsuki wouldn’t know if it reached his eyes this time, because he couldn’t bring himself to look. He pulled his hearing aid out of his right pocket. Without it, he noticed he couldn’t hear Izuku’s low muttering. 

He made his way to the bed, where he plugged the device into the charger on the headboard. He looked at the digital clock, doing a double-take as he read the time. It had been hours since Katsuki came back. Had he just been talking this entire time? With Izuku ? 

He would have to go downstairs to make dinner already. He silently prayed that the common room would be empty, with the class in the cafeteria for dinner or something. 

He eyed the trading card on the headboard, and tucked it into his left pocket before turning around. He was met with Izuku’s wide eyes, and his body tensed. 

“Is your hearing aid dead, Kacchan?” 

Katsuki balled his fists, avoiding Izuku’s eyes. 

“Tch,” Katsuki nodded his head toward the charger, “What do you think?”

This time, when Katsuki strode out of the room, Izuku followed him. Katsuki stayed one step ahead of him, but Izuku was close behind. He supposed Izuku had no reason to be wary of him anymore, seeing the evidence of his guilt first-hand for all these months, and also the fact that he was dead . 

“I’m already dead, Kacchan, I’ve got nothing left to lose.” 

Katsuki rolled his shoulders back as he made his way down the stairs. 

Without his hearing aid in, he couldn’t hear how many people were in the common room. He didn’t really care if they saw him or not, but he wanted nothing more than to be left alone. He turned slightly toward Izuku. 

“If you’re so keen on playing scout, then scout .”

Izuku nodded, a hint of a smile creeping onto his face. He walked around the wall they were hiding behind, and into the common room. Knowing he’d be beside him now, Katsuki let himself watch Izuku. His movements were different, impossibly flowing as he walked, but Katsuki couldn’t pinpoint exactly what felt different. As he walked away, Katsuki got a better look at his hair. It was darker than he remembered, and more unruly. 

Katsuki pressed his back against the wall for a second, only turning around when Izuku rounded the corner. 

“There’s a lot of them in there,” He stated, then frowned slightly, “and as far as I can tell, none of them can see me.” 

Katsuki scowled, and walked past Izuku into the common room. 

He was right, of course, almost his entire class was crowding around the entrance doors, talking in groups. Katsuki made his way into the kitchen without interruption. 

“There is a yellow-haired boy who turned to look at you, but I didn’t catch anyone else. Many of them are facing the door, so it’s possible they’re getting ready to leave,” Izuku said, leaning in from behind Katsuki, “I wonder what his quirk is, although he does have a pretty distinctive lightning-bolt pattern in his hair-” 

“I don’t need your commentary,” Katsuki snarled, “With you attached to me, I can hear your dumb muttering without my hearing aid.” 

Katsuki looked up at Izuku’s face, carefully avoiding his eyes. He looked down, then nodded. 

“Look me in the eye, Kacchan,” Izuku said. 

Fuck . 

Why would the nerd ask that, of all things? Was he really being that obvious? 

He looked up at Izuku’s sunken eyes, which still felt haunting to him. He watched Izuku’s face, looking for something he could go off of, but Izuku just stared back at him. He felt so undoubtedly guilty when he looked into Izuku’s eyes. Maybe it was how tired he looked, maybe it was the nostalgia. Maybe it was because they reminded him of the look Izuku gave him when he told him to take a swan dive.

“I shouldn’t have said those stupid, fucking things to you,” Katsuki said, feeling his lip start to quiver from the shame, “I went to the rooftop after I said it, and watched you pick up the notebook from the pond. The one I scorched. I don't know... I'm just going to tell you now that... it's a good resource to have now to become heroes or whatever." 

He drawled the last line, trying to suppress his regret, but Izuku smiled – and this time he could see how it made his eyes look a bit brighter.

Chapter Text

When Katsuki’s alarm woke him up the next morning, his eyes flew open with regret for what he’d said. What had he been thinking , telling Izuku that stupid shit about the roof? He reached his arm up to punch the alarm off, and rolled over to face the room.  

The first thing he saw was Izuku, muttering to himself in the corner, (Katsuki assumed from the way his mouth was moving). With the hair, pale skin, and sunken eyes, he looked like a fucking psych ward patient. 

The night before, after Katsuki laid his fucking heart out like a wimp , he went over ground rules for sharing a space. Izuku had raised his eyebrows incredulously when Katsuki went on about privacy, keeping his eyes squinted as if to say ‘well no shit’. Part of that privacy was that Izuku was by no means allowed to utilize his loner-stalker tendencies to watch him sleep. 

He also used the time to clarify some of the conditions for their make-shift partnership. The strategy would only be used in certain situations, but on tests or individual assignments, it wouldn’t be beneficial to either party to utilize it. He thought over the plan in his mind again. It really was simple, yet he had a feeling in his gut that told him it was going to work out. 

When Katsuki sat up, Izuku looked over at him, stopping his mumbling. Katsuki reached over to pull his hearing aid off the charger, and pushed it into his right ear, raising the volume on the side.

He immediately wished he hadn’t. 

“Do you think ghosts can build muscle mass?” 

5:30. The room was still dark in the early morning, only a dim light piercing through the crack between the curtains. It was 5:30. Katsuki looked tiredly at him, blinking slowly with his eyes half-lidded.

It was 5:30 . 

The classroom was empty when Katsuki arrived, finding his seat was on the right side of the room, directly next to the window. He wondered if Aizawa had read his medical file, because his placement was perfect with his hearing aid. He flipped the light on before entering, as he had gotten there even before Aizawa. 

Katsuki leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. He relaxed his face, his mind already starting to wander in the silence. 

“You always did get to class before everyone else.” 

Katsuki looked up at Izuku, sitting on top of a desk near his own.

“To avoid the extras,” Katsuki muttered, simply.  

There was a pause where he thought Izuku was going to speak, but he stayed quiet. To his surprise, he heard footsteps outside the classroom door. 

Katsuki checked the clock above the door – it was still twenty minutes before anyone was supposed to be here . He and Izuku watched the door open, as a boy with gravity-defying purple hair walked through the door. He had noticeable dark circles under his eyes, almost as tired as Izuku’s, with an uncanny resemblance to Aizawa’s. They didn’t hold the same emptiness as Katsuki’s own, (outside of battle, at least), instead portraying a self-assured determination. It was similar to the one he used to see in himself.  

Katsuki didn’t sleep well last night, but then again he couldn’t remember the last time he had. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Inko standing in the doorway of her home, tears streaming down her face. She looked at Katsuki with such disdain, he could taste his guilt in the back of his throat. He couldn’t bear to see that look again, but he did. Almost every night. The fact that Izuku was in the room with him only served to keep him up longer, but he ended up getting a few hours when his exhaustion took over. If he tried hard enough, he could even pretend the mostly-healed burns on his shoulders didn’t bother him, maybe even pretend they weren't there. 

When he was smudging his eyeliner in the mirror this morning, he noticed his dark circles got deeper. 

Katsuki was pulled out of his head by the eye bag kid walking toward him. He scowled at the boy as he walked past him, infiltrating the desk directly behind Katsuki. It was silent for a moment, Izuku flicking his eyes from Katsuki to the other boy. 

To Katuki’s dismay, the boy decided to strike up a conversation with him. 

“Bakugou Katsuki,” The other boy started, his voice dragging similarly to Aizawa’s, (God, it really was uncanny), “You scored first in the entrance exams.”

Katsuki felt a familiar prideful tug at his lip. Katsuki did well on the entrance exam, and had thoroughly enjoyed displaying his battle strategy and raw power without feeling arrogant. The test was practically designed for his success.

Katsuki didn’t bother to look at the other boy as he replied, putting one of his feet up on the desk, “I’m not here to make friends.” 

“Good, me either.” 

Now, that got Katsuki’s attention. 

He respected people with drive, the only exception to that rule for so long being Izuku. He held people that pushed forward in the face of adversity in high regard, knowing that underestimating a determined opponent, no matter how incapable they may seem, would be a devastating decision. 

This was something he had learned too late. He looked at Izuku who, unsurprisingly, was already staring at him, a hint of an impressed smile on his face. Katsuki bit his cheek and looked away, facing the window. That look was all-too familiar. 

He was still conflicted on so many issues that had sprung up since the incident, and tried his best to suppress them. He hated not knowing what to do, so he pretended they didn’t exist. (He knew it was getting worse every time he looked in the mirror, but he chose not to dig it up). 

The classroom was silent until other students started to file in. Katsuki faced forward, scowling as the sounds of conversation and chairs scraping against the floor filled his ears. He turned down the volume on his hearing aid, slightly. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Katsuki could see Izuku wandering around the classroom. He seemed to be stopping to listen to conversations, probably over analyzing their every mannerism. He really was a stalker. He turned his head so he could get a clearer view of Izuku as he walked closer to the back of the classroom. 

Between the commotion of the classroom, and his hearing aid on low volume, he didn’t notice the classroom door swing open. 

“Everyone take your seats.” 

Katsuki turned his head to see Aizawa standing in the door, unzipping his yellow sleeping bag and stepping out of it. Several students seemed taken aback, and he watched as they shuffled into their seats. As it quieted, Katsuki raised the volume on his hearing aid again.

Aizawa made his way to the front of the classroom, dropping the bag on the floor as he walked. 

“Welcome to UA’s hero course,” He muttered, scanning the classroom, before raising his voice slightly, “It took about eight seconds for there to be silence, that’s not going to work.”

Izuku started muttering as he watched Aizawa, and Katsuki couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He saw some of his classmates glance around at each other, and scowled deeper. 

“Time is limited, distractions are irrational,” He continued, “I expect the best from this class, and anything outside of full effort will result in expulsion.” 

Even Katsuki’s eyebrows raised upon hearing that, but he knew it wouldn’t be a problem, not for him anyway. Katsuki tended to be prone to black and white thinking, regardless of how adaptive he was. It was all or nothing, full potential or hollow emptiness. 

“That sounds unfair, Mr. Aizawa,”

Katsuki turned his head just enough, so that he could see the girl who spoke, from his peripheral vision. She was in the opposite back corner, sitting upright in her chair, and frowning slightly. Honestly, the way she had said that kind of reminded him of Izuku questioning him when they were younger. 

“Why are you being so mean, Kacchan?”

Izuku was standing directly next to the girl’s desk, muttering quietly. 

“Disagree. I expect my students to utilize their potential, and become the best they can be,” Aizawa droned, “If you don't like this policy, you can head home early.” 

The girl sank back in her chair, slightly, slightly defeated. Now that really reminded him of Izuku. He always spoke up when he felt it was necessary, but inevitably sank down when his efforts were futile. Katsuki looked back at Aizawa. 

“Alright, do all of you know where the locker rooms are?” He asked. 

Katsuki had no idea where the locker rooms were, but he’d figure it out. Aizawa explained how there were training uniforms in their respective lockers, and that they should change into those and meet him back in the classroom.

“You’re wasting time,” Aizawa stated when no one in the class moved, taking a step toward his sleeping bag. 

The glasses kid sprang up from his desk. 

“It may be unconventional, but as Class 1A, we have to prove that we are the best and be efficient in-” 

“Shut up ,” Katsuki groaned, removing his foot from the desk to stand up. 

A few people from the class looked taken aback. 

“ Kacchan ,” Izuku sighed. 

Katsuki crossed the room, shoving his hands in his pockets, feeling the Trading Card against the back of his hand. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the class as he stepped out into the hall, hearing classmates shuffling behind him. 

He strided ahead slightly, eyes trailing the wall before focusing on a sign illustrated with arrows. 

“I don’t think this is going to be like middle school,” Izuku said, obviously alluding to a longer, unavoidable conversation. 

“I’d fucking hope not,” Katsuki scoffed, lowering his voice slightly, “These are supposed to be our future heroes. I don’t want the fuckers following me around.” 

Izuku walked beside Katsuki. 

“You’re planning on isolating yourself,” Izuku guessed, “Like in the months when I was gone.” 

Katsuki scowled, hunching his shoulders. He didn’t exactly know how much of Katsuki’s spiraling Izuku saw, but it was obviously weighing on him. Izuku, being the fucking hero that he was, probably thought he was helping Katsuki by giving him someone to stand beside him all day. He didn’t have it in him to be pissed at Izuku, not after all the months of depressing solitude without him.  

He’d never admit it, but it did feel kind of nice to see Izuku’s green hair out of the corner of his eye. Although, his peace was short-lived when he heard the footsteps and conversation indicating his classmates were following close behind him. 

“-don’t know if Bakugou can even hear us-” 

Katsuki felt a familiar irritation build in his gut. 

“ Bakugou can fucking hear you just fine,” Katsuki announced, not bothering to turn around. 

Some of the conversation died down, he suspected because they were focused on him. He was used to leading with peers following behind, but he was starting to get unbelievably irritated. Izuku stopped walking beside him to join a group of his class. His mind was too battle-ready to even think of taking out his hearing aid, so he just clenched his fists in his pockets, willing himself to ignore the extras. 

“I think Mina mentioned your hearing aid to the class,” Izuku guessed, returning to his place beside Katsuki. 

Katsuki didn’t know who the fuck ‘Mina’ was, but based on the context, he could take a guess. He couldn’t even respond to Izuku with all the attention now focused on him. He hated the fact that the class was discussing his weakness behind his back, despite the fact that he had gotten first in the exam. He knew he had to use today to establish his place in the class, thoroughly unimpressed with how things were going so far. 

He kicked the boys locker-room door open with threatening force when he found it. Everyone was getting on his last fucking nerve, and it was barely first period. 

He found his locker first, luckily near the end, as the rest of the boys started to file in. 

Something dark was haunting Izuku’s eyes, but he bit his tongue.

Chapter Text

Katsuki tucked the trading card into the left pocket of the track pants. 

No one bothered Katsuki as they followed Aizawa from the classroom. By the time their teacher led them to the P.E. Grounds, he disclosed that they were not, in fact, going to orientation. Instead, he planned for them to do what he called a “quirk assessment test”. 

“But we’ll miss orientation!” 

Katsuki knew by her voice that it was the same girl, but he kept his eyes on Aizawa. Izuku was standing beside Katsuki, analyzing the people around them, silently. 

“If you’re going to be a hero, you don’t have time for such leisurely events,” Aizawa said, turning away from them, “Here, school traditions are unrestricted, and as your homeroom teacher, I have free reign over how I run my class.” 

Katsuki could feel the tension around his classmates as Aizawa turned back to face them. 

“You all have been doing this since junior high, right?” Aizawa asked, “Physical Fitness test where you weren’t allowed to use your quirks?”  

He sighed before continuing. 

“This country still uses averages taken from results from students not using their quirks, it’s not rational. Well, the ministry of education is procrastinating,” Aizawa turned to face Katsuki directly, “Bakugou, you got first place in the entrance exam, what was your farthest distance softball throw in junior high?”  

Katsuki raised his eyebrows slightly, not expecting to be called out like that. Izuku looked at Katuki. 

“I think around 67 meters,” He answered. 

“Try it using your quirk.” 

Katsuki walked into a marked circle on the ground that Aizawa had gestured toward. He stood in the center of it as Aizawa handed him a softball saying, “Anything goes, just stay in the circle.” 

Katsuki turned toward Izuku, who had his eyebrows raised. 

“Hurry up, you’re wasting time.” Aizawa sighed. 

Katsuki stretched his shoulders muttering “okay, you asked for it”, and turned back to face the throwing range. He lowered the volume slightly on his hearing aid. 

Thinking about it for only a second, he decided how he could utilize his quirk. He adjusted his stance, prepared, and threw the ball yelling “die!”, creating a large explosion at the last second of contact, propelling the ball into the air. He stumbled forward a step, into the thin layer of residual smoke. He watched the ball fly into the air, leaving a trail behind it, and only barely saw it come back down. It was a small, white pinprick in the distance. 

“You must all know your maximum at the beginning,” Aizawa started, holding up a distance-calculating device, “It’s the most rational way to build your foundation when becoming a pro.” 

There was a gasp of ‘woah’ from the crowd of his classmates, and some movement that indicated they were impressed. Some of them started murmuring amongst themselves, but he couldn’t hear specifics until he turned up the volume again on his hearing aid. 

“705 meters, seriously?” Gasped the yellow-haired idiot from yesterday. 

“I wanna go!” Yelled the pink girl, “this looks like fun!” 

“We can use our quirks as much as we want in the hero course!” Yelled some black-haired boy. 

He saw a determined smile from the boy with red hair, and his eyes landed on Izuku, and he didn’t know how to feel when he saw that he looked impressed. 

“So this looks fun, huh?” Aizawa muttered quietly, so much so that had Katsuki not turned up his hearing aid, he would have missed it. “You have three years here to become a hero, will you have that attitude the whole time?” 

Izuku’s face shifted. 

“Idiots,” Aizawa started again, “Fine then, how about whoever comes in last place will be judged to have no potential, and will be sent home.” 

This time, Katsuki saw the entire class jump back in shock, hearing variations of ‘huh!?’ and ‘what?!’. 

“Like I said, I get to decide how this class is run,” Aizawa said, lifting his hair up out of his face, “Welcome to UA’s hero course.” 

The murmuring broke out again, but Katsuki stayed silent. He couldn’t even say he was nervous, because he knew he’d be fine. Physical fitness was something he’d trained for years, ensuring his quirk was versatile. 

He was entirely self-taught, working himself halfway to death starting when he was seven. He studied strategy, made himself the smartest in every room he entered, and made sure he was prepared for anything. Any tests Aizawa threw his way, he planned to face head on, feeling that familiar flicker of determination. 

Even so, he was suspicious whether or not Aizawa really would send one of them home, despite his belief that either way he wouldn’t be leaving. 

“You can’t send one of us home!” That same girl yelled, “That's completely unfair!” 

“What about natural disasters, accidents, and power-hungry villains,” Aizawa started, his tone scolding, “Calamities whose time and place can’t be predicted. Japan is filled with unfairness, it is a hero’s job to combat that unfairness. To be a pro you will push yourself until you break. For the next three years, UA will throw one hardship after another at you, so go beyond.” 

The girl’s cheeks turned pinker, but even Katsuki could admit there was an admirable will in her eyes.

“Show me it’s no mistake that you’re here.” 

The tests were simple enough, and Katsuki blasted his way through all of them, using his quirk for all the ones he would benefit from. Izuku followed him for some of it, but also wandered around his peers, observing and analyzing. 

When all of the eight tests were over, they gathered around Aizawa to see their end results. When he flipped open the projection, Katsuki saw his name in the third place spot and scowled, not bothering to look at who managed to get last. 

“And I was lying, no one’s going home,” Aizawa smiled, “That was just a rational deception to ensure you gave it your all in the tests.” 

The class exploded louder than when Aizawa first told them about the expulsion, so much so that Katsuki took an even larger step away from the rest of them.

“I’m surprised the rest of you didn’t figure that out, I’m sorry, I guess I should have said something,” Said a girl with a tall ponytail, who he recognized as one of the first four to enter the common room after he did. 

“She got first in the fitness test,” Izuku said from behind Katsuki, startling him. 

“How the fuck did she get first?” Katsuki muttered. 

“Her quirk’s pretty incredible. I think she uses the energy in her body to make objects, but I didn’t get to see specifically how she used them.”

Katsuki scoffed away from Izuku. 

“The short boy called Minoru Mineta got last place,” Izuku started, warily, “Although I’d stay away from him. I don’t like the way he was looking at Yaoyorozu.” 

“Who?” 

“The girl who got first!” 

“Ah, Ponytail,” Katsuki amended.

The demeanor of the class changed drastically after the knowledge that none of them would be leaving, and they started talking amongst one another again. There were some people who said nothing at all, like the purple-haired boy from earlier, and some people who would not stop talking. 

“Well that was pretty nerve racking, huh, Kirishima?” The black-haired boy asked. 

“Nah, I’m always down for a challenge,” The red haired boy replied. 

Katsuki stared at the red-haired boy for a moment, before looking at the scoreboard. ‘Kirishima’ was the name in the eighth place spot. 

“That’s it, we’re done for the day,” Aizawa said while walking away, “There’s a syllabus in the classroom, take a copy and read it over before tomorrow morning.” 

The walk back to the dorm was relatively quiet, only barely listening to Izuku’s mumbling over the sound of the breeze rustling leaves. The campus really was quite beautiful, and after walking around it today, Katsuki felt as though he’d be able to navigate it easily. 

Some of his classmates were walking back to the dorm as well, making light conversation a few yards in front of him, while others went elsewhere. Katsuki noticed how Izuku followed slightly behind him, rather than beside him like he’d done earlier. 

Katsuki had no idea how to feel. 

When they made it back to the dorm, most of his classmates hung back in the common room, only a few grouped together to walk upstairs. He made a point to ignore everyone, and march into his room, slinging his backpack off his shoulder. 

Katsuki pulled a black T-shirt and sweatpants from his closet, and changed in the bathroom. He had done the same thing that morning, after doing an impromptu work out in his dorm. He didn’t have the motivation to go out and find a gym for the very first day, but maybe he’d try tomorrow. 

He was trying to act like he normally would, striving to be the best. He just felt off. 

By the time Katsuki made it to his bed, he had a darkness hanging over him. He just felt bad , but couldn’t even pinpoint what was bothering him. He figured it was probably everything. He was in a fucked-up hole, and the worst part was that he had dug it for himself.

He dangled his feet off the edge of the bed.

“You know heroics is taught by All Might, don’t you?” Katsuki asked, glancing at Izuku, who was again standing in the center of his room. 

The nerd hung his head. 

“I saw it in your admittance video,” Izuku muttered. Now that implied something else that he was choosing not to mention. Did Izuku see what came after it?

Katsuki grunted in acknowledgement, lacking the words to say something meaningful, so he just said nothing at all. They hadn’t talked in depth about any of what had happened, Katsuki too ashamed to admit anything – whether that be the actual incident, or the almost full year of shit that came after it. Just how much was Izuku around for? He just couldn’t admit any of it out loud without feeling weak, and he couldn’t bring himself to direct his anger at Izuku. Not anymore. 

“You’ve been carrying this guilt with you the whole time, blaming yourself.”

Well, who else was there to blame? 

All Might , his mind supplied. Some of the blame belonged to All Might. 

“We should discuss strategy,” Katsuki reluctantly huffed. 

They had a simple strategy that basically consisted of Izuku being scout and informant for Katsuki in activities where it would truly help them both improve. Katsuki knew there wasn’t really anything more they could discuss yet, without knowing what was coming tomorrow. Then again, that wasn’t truly what Katsuki was asking. 

“You’re worried about me facing All Might after what happened.” 

Katsuki turned his head away, but it was answer enough for Izuku. 

He felt so painfully vulnerable . This was why he’d avoided Izuku for so long . Izuku made him feel like this , but now it was amplified by the fact that Izuku was dead . He just scowled – a feeble attempt to gain some control over the situation. 

What could he possibly say? How could he possibly express his discomfort around All Might telling Izuku that he couldn’t become a hero without a quirk? Katsuki had said that exact line more times than he could count, and that wasn’t even close to the worst thing he said to the nerd. 

Katsuki just reminded himself that there was no changing the past, and laid down on his bed, shifting to face the wall. 

Chapter Text

Katsuki woke up before his alarm to a sinking feeling in his stomach. The room was still dark, darker than it had been yesterday. He sat up onto his elbows and looked around the room to see Izuku standing in the center of it, staring at Katsuki with wide, green eyes. 

Katsuki felt like he might throw up. 

“I think you were having a nightmare,” Izuku said. 

Katsuki’s face contorted in defense, and he sat up fully on his bed. He’d left the All Might card in the room last night when he went to get dinner, and hadn’t said a word to Izuku since telling him they should discuss strategy. 

He assumed the feeling in his gut was probably anxiety from having to face All Might today, but he knew part of it was guilt. That part never went away. Even when he remembered why he hated Izuku, and even when he walked around pissed at the world, the guilt remained. 

He was still to blame for someone’s death, regardless of who it was, and yet he was in the hero course instead of them. It didn’t matter anymore how incapable Izuku was, when Katsuki knew heroes aren't supposed to be killers. 

He knew that already – he walked around knowing that, he trained knowing that, and he would win whatever came at him today knowing that he was guilty . 

He pushed the thought away, no use wallowing in the past , and looked at his alarm clock. It was only 5:04. 

He silenced the alarm and pushed in his hearing aid, sliding off the side of the bed. 

He didn’t look at Izuku as he crossed his arm over his body, using his other arm to stretch out his shoulder. He did his warm up on the floor of his room, and moved into exercising; He did push-ups until his arms burned. 

He still didn’t look at Izuku as he dragged his uniform with him to the bathroom, and locked the door behind him. He still didn’t know if Izuku could phase through walls. Maybe he would know if he actually talked to him. 

When he had changed into his uniform, still omitting that stupid red tie, he looked in the mirror. 

He noticed his dark-circles had gotten worse, but rolled his eyes and pulled his eyeliner out from the drawer beneath the sink. He carefully traced the black along his waterline, and smudged it out slightly. He took one last look in the mirror before unlocking the bathroom door, noticing he did look paler than usual. 

When he stepped out of the bathroom, Izuku was staring at him again. 

“Kacchan.” 

“What,” Katsuki groaned, shifting his weight.

“You’re not taking care of yourself.” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes and walked to his desk, where he began putting his school supplies in his backpack, ending with the syllabus he’d skimmed over the night before. 

“I do the important shit,” he mumbled.

“You aren’t sleeping.” 

“What else is new?” 

Izuku exhaled, but didn’t say anything. Katsuki did do the important things, anything in his control, that is. He worked out, he ate on his strict diet, he was just having issues with staying asleep – no matter how early Katsuki tried to get to bed. 

They didn’t talk for the rest of the morning. 

Katsuki got to class first again, flipping on the light and walking to his seat. He slumped over his desk, placing his head in his hands and already feeling pissed off at the world. 

He’d carefully avoided his classmates yesterday, feeling like he’d blow up whoever tried to talk to him. He should probably avoid exploding any classmates outside of the battlefield. 

He couldn’t deny he was excited for Heroics, despite the feeling he got from remembering who was teaching it. Battle was something he was good at, combat was the setting where he could be undeniably the best. It was ironic that combat was where he felt safe, and completely in character that it was where he felt most like himself. 

He sat in silence until he heard footsteps at the door, where he didn’t look up to see who was opening it.

“What time do you get to class?” It was the same Aizawa-clone kid from yesterday, who Katsuki purposefully ignored. 

Some of his classmates arrived earlier to class today, like Ponytail and Glasses. Others slid in right before the bell rang, like Yellow-Hair and the pink girl. Katsuki didn’t even bother turning down the volume on his hearing aid, too distracted to care about what was going on beside him. 

Aizawa slumped into class just as Yellow-Hair took his seat, and started the day by explaining parts of the schedule. 

At UA, the day was split into two sections. Before lunch, students met in homeroom first, then attended academic classes, and after lunch was heroics.

The rest of the day was relatively boring, as going through the academic classes at a hero academy would be. They were taught by various pro-heroes that Katsuki didn’t recognize, but it seemed Izuku did with the way he was muttering questions and analysis. 

Katsuki arrived first to every class, although he didn’t necessarily leave the classroom all that often, not wasting time in the hallways like most of his classmates. He kept his head held high, and Izuku stayed by him. 

English class at UA was unbelievably loud, so much so that Bakugou contemplated taking out his hearing aid altogether in the middle of class. Present Mic was the hero that taught English and, according to Izuku, he had a quirk that amplified his voice. That sounded about right. 

Katsuki lowered the volume on his hearing aid as Mic continued explaining relative pronouns. Katsuki would be lying if he said he was completely focused. 

It wasn’t English class he was worried about.

About halfway through the day, there was a break for lunch, where people walked in forming groups to the cafeteria. Katsuki beat the line in the cafeteria, so he was able to grab a tray of food and leave. He didn’t care who saw him leaving, even if he was almost certain he wasn’t supposed to. 

“Uhm, Kacchan, where are we going?” 

“Elsewhere.”

Izuku sighed and reluctantly followed Katsuki to a courtyard-like area with small wooden benches.  Katsuki ate beside Izuku, (and even Katsuki could admit the Lunch Rush food was good), who was muttering to himself almost the entire time.

“You’re ready for today?” Katsuki asked Izuku, reluctantly. 

“Are you?” 

Katsuki looked at one of the cherry-blossom trees in the center of the courtyard. Was he ready? Katsuki knew he’d be able to handle anything thrown his way, he just didn’t know how he’d react to actually seeing All Might in person. He wasn’t just a face on the trading card in his pocket, and he wasn’t just a distant image in his head as he recited Izuku’s note. He was real, and Katsuki would have to face him. Just over a year ago, he would have been grinning with excitement over the chance to meet his hero, but now? 

He wasn’t sure how he felt. 

He didn’t have to wait long to figure it out, however. Katsuki didn’t even really remember walking back to class, (much less putting his tray back in the cafeteria), until his classmates started to file in. He heard the clock ticking in the back of his head, counting down the seconds until the bell rang.

The moment All Might entered through the door of the classroom, Katsuki seethed. He saw Izuku sink into himself as All Might yelled “I am here”. 

He could barely hear his classmates’ excited murmurs over the sound of his own anger. 

He wore the same bright smile, and marched into the classroom saying shit about how he walked in ‘like a hero’. Katsuki had always admired that smile. It used to be the reason behind his own, at least when he was a kid. All Might was what drove him to want to be a hero in the first place, before the reason became his insatiable need to be the best.

With Izuku in his peripheral vision, he could finally put a new name to how he felt towards All Might. 

Betrayed. 

Katsuki glared at All Might through his eyebrows, a piece of his hair falling into his face. 

“Welcome to the most important class at UA high!” All Might began, with that stupid fucking prideful grin, “Think of it as ‘Heroing 101’ – here you will learn the basics of being a pro, and what it means to fight in the name of good!” 

Katsuki dug his fingernails into his palm.

“Let’s get into it – today’s lesson will pull no punches!” 

Katsuki probably would have been filled with pride at the mention of combat training, but it was overshadowed by familiar, overwhelming anger. He heard Izuku mutter something, but he couldn’t tell what he’d said over his classmates’ continued excitement. 

They were instructed to change into their hero costumes, and then meet All Might at Ground Beta. Katsuki quickly grabbed the suitcase with his hero costume, and stormed out of the classroom. 

The walk to the locker room was silent, but as Katsuki opened his suitcase in front of his locker, Izuku spoke up. 

“We admired him so much when we were kids.” 

Katsuki scowled, and silently started unbuttoning his uniform. 

Some of the other boys who’d entered the locker room were talking to each other about how exciting it was going to be to train under All Might – how awesome it was that they were learning from the best. Katsuki could barely lower the volume on his hearing aid with how tense he was. 

The bright smile of his hero as he saved hundreds of people was what inspired him. All Might never lost a battle or his smile - the best hero always comes out on top and all that. Katsuki was obsessed with the idea of indubitable victory, where everyone would be unanimous in knowing that he was number one . He had that. All Might had that. 

Katsuki would watch the news, videos, anything ; watching intently at how All Might predicted his enemy’s tells. He was able to work alone because he was the strongest. People respected him because he was so far ahead. 

When Katsuki got his quirk, he was going to be just like him.  

...

Katsuki knew his rage was probably just a projection. He really had no right to feel betrayed.

Chapter Text

Most things about Katsuki’s costume were strategic. 

The pants were baggy enough to allow for easy movement, but the metal knee pads were stuck in place over his kneecap. The gauntlets were designed to store up his own sweat as he worked, so he’d be able to set off larger explosions without tiring his body. 

The muscle groups he worked on most were shoulders and back, so maneuvering flight and setting off larger explosions wouldn’t mess up his body during combat. The gauntlets themselves were also incredibly heavy, but they weren’t an issue for him because of his training. 

When he pulled his mask over his face, he walked around the corner where the mirror was and looked inside of it. He grinned slightly at the outcome of his costume.

Surprisingly, he saw Izuku standing to his right in the mirror, also smiling. His eyes wide with the same emotion they held when the boys were kids. 

“ What, nerd?” 

“You look really cool, Kacchan.” 

“ Tch .”

He walked around to his locker and dug around for the All Might card in his uniform pocket, then shoved it into the costume pocket. 

Another thing that was strategic about his costume: There was a small zipper inside the left pocket, for him to slide the card into.

He walked out of the locker room first, and down the dark alley to Ground Beta, where he saw All Might standing at the end of the tunnel. Ponytail was already there, facing All Might, but he presumed the reason she beat him was because of how much easier her costume was to put on than his. 

His grin faded back into a glare as he stepped into the light with Ponytail. He heard his classmates’ footsteps echoing down the tunnel behind him, but kept his gaze locked on All Might. 

“Shall we get started?” All Might asked, scanning through the crowd, “Now that you’re suited-up, let’s move on to combat training.” 

“Sir!” 

Katsuki looked to his right to see someone he could only assume was Glasses, raising his hand. It took everything in Katsuki’s power not to roll his eyes. 

He continued, “This is the fake city from our entrance exam, does this mean we will be conducting urban battles again?” 

“Not quite! Most of the villain fights on the news take place outside, however statistically speaking, battles with the most atrocious evil-doers take place indoors! Truly intelligent criminals stay hidden in the shadows,” All Might directed, “For this training exercise, you will be split into teams of heroes and villains, and fight two on two indoor battles.” 

Izuku started muttering. 

“Isn’t this a little advanced?” Asked some frog-looking girl.

“The best training is what you get on the battlefield,” instructed All Might, “but remember, you must work differently than with the robots, as you are dealing with actual people now!” 

Katsuki was fine with fighting actual people, maybe even better than with the robots. He was more perceptive than people took him for, especially during battle. He wondered if someone at this school would stop him if he truly injured an opponent, or if it was justified as training here. 

“Will you be the one to determine who wins?” Ponytail asked. 

“Do we need to worry about the losing-team getting expelled, like with Mr. Aizawa?” Asked the brunette girl. 

“Will you be splitting us up based on chance, or comparative skill?” Asked Glasses. 

“Isn’t this cape très chique?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, not remotely over his anger at All Might, nor the rest of his class who would not stop talking . They were shooting questions at All Might and conversing with each other to the extent where Katsuki could barely hear Izuku, who was standing directly beside him. 

“Kacchan, an indoor battle will be fine with your control,” Izuku started, “all we really need to worry about is who you’re paired up against. I took a lot of notes on combat in tight spaces.” 

“Whatever, nerd.” 

“Listen up!” Katsuki’s eyes flicked to All Might, who was reading from a book, “the situation is this: villains have hidden a nuclear missile somewhere in their hideout, the heroes must try to foil their plans. To do that, the heroes will either have to catch the evil-doers, or recover the weapon. Likewise, the villains succeed if they protect the weapon or capture the heroes.”

“The heroes are at a clear disadvantage if they don’t even know where the weapon is,” Izuku muttered to Katsuki, “it sounds like an action-movie set up.”

They were told that the teams would be decided by drawing lots, which Glasses unsurprisingly had a complaint about, but Katsuki ignored his classmates. He watched as each time was chosen, and waited until he heard his own name. 

“Let’s see, for Team D: Bakugou will be paired with… Kirishima!” 

Bakugou turned around to look at the other side of the crowd, where the boy with spiky red hair was staring back at him. He marched over to Katsuki, unknowingly standing right beside Izuku. 

“Shitty-Hair,” Katsuki muttered, only barely listening to the rest of the teams being announced. 

“Bakugou,” Shitty Hair groaned in tandem with an exasperated ‘Kacchan’ . 

“ Tch .” 

When All Might finished rattling off names, he dug his hands into two boxes, labeled ‘Hero’ and ‘Villain’. Katsuki was fighting in the first round – on the ‘hero’ team against Purple-Hair and Glasses. They walked in silence to the building, Shitty Hair sending Katsuki concerned looks until they reached it. 

“I think we need a plan,” Shitty Hair stated, turning to face Katsuki. 

Glasses and Purple Hair were no doubt strategizing inside the building. They had five minutes before the ‘hero’ team was allowed to infiltrate. As a side, All Might told him that ‘If things went too far, he’d stop the battle’, which made Katsuki snarl. Each team was handed a floor plan, capture tape, and a comms device before All Might left. As the hero team, they'd have fifteen minutes to acquire the weapon, or capture the villains.

Katsuki turned to Izuku, who nodded in understanding. 

“Iida’s quirk is engine, which makes him incredibly fast, so it’s most likely he’s going to be scouting for us while Shinsou guards the weapon,” Izuku said. 

“Do we know what Purple-Hair’s quirk is?” Katsuki asked. 

“No,” Izuku frowned. 

“No man, I don’t even think he used a quirk in the assessment test,” Shitty Hair said. 

“Okay. Whatever,” Katsuki snapped, “We’ll assume Glasses is scouting for us ‘cause he’s fast.” 

“Okay, I guess that makes sense,” Shitty Hair replied, “but I still think we need a plan , dude.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, opening the paper building blueprint. 

“What’s your quirk?” 

“ Kacchan .”

“Dude, seriously?” Shitty Hair asked in disbelief, “I’m in your class!” 

“I fucking know that! Just tell me what it is!” Katsuki hissed. 

Shitty Hair frowned before responding. 

“I can harden my body.” 

Katsuki remembered two days ago, in the kitchen. Katsuki had blasted Shitty Hair with an explosion, but he appeared unscathed. He was able to block Katsuki’s minor explosion with his body. 

“Alright,” Katsuki scoffed, “You try to handle Iida, I’ll go after the weapon.” 

“ That’s the plan?!” 

“You got a better one?” 

Shitty Hair looked like he might retort before they heard All Might’s voice over the loudspeaker, and stopped in his tracks.

“Your time starts now!” 

Katsuki scowled, sliding the comms device into his left ear, before marching toward the building. He turned to Izuku, who nodded nervously, and slid into the building through the door. 

Katsuki turned to Shitty Hair, and gestured for him to follow. 

Katsuki wouldn’t be able to fly up the building silently, and he doubted Shitty Hair’s ability to effectively scale walls, so he cracked open a low window on the first story and crawled through it. Shitty Hair followed him in. 

“You take the odd-numbered floors, I’ll take the evens,” Katsuki demanded in a low voice. 

With that, Katsuki walked the hallways alone. The second floor was empty, as far as he could tell, but he kept himself ready for battle at any moment. It wasn’t very different from the guarded way he walked around regularly. 

Katsuki’s mentality had always been that he was above everyone else. His quirk only amplified this thought, making him believe that if he wasn’t strong enough to win alone, he was weak. He didn’t know if his anger was a result of his quirk, or if it was just a defense against feeling inferior. Whatever the initial reason for his anger was, it changed after Izuku died. He was pissed at the world, at hero culture. He alone was guilty for his actions and behavior, but it was the world that had made him that way. 

Any ‘friend’ he’d ever had was really just a member of his posse. It was a cult of idiot children who belittled the different kid because they all wanted to appear strong. No one stopped them, or told them what they were doing was wrong. Katsuki only ever got praised. 

His view started to change after he read the letter too many times to count. He hated the world for making him this way, and he was angry at himself for buying into it. 

Focus . He needed to focus. 

Whatever his forming new mentality, he was still driven by victory. 

“Bakugou!” Katsuki touched the comms device with his left hand, “Iida – third floor!” 

He fucking knew it. Katsuki made his way to the stairs on the second floor, as he’d already scouted it for signs of the weapon. He shot up as quietly as he could to hear commotion outside the stairwell. He snuck to the doorway to see Glasses rushing Shitty Hair, who had already hardened. 

Without thinking, Katsuki aimed his palm at where Glasses would be, knowing he was probably holding capture tape. He stepped out, detonated his blast and ran to Shitty Hair. Katsuki had always been good at damage control, despite how regrettably reckless he had been with Izuku. 

The surrounding area was fine, and it appeared Shitty Hair was still standing. Katsuki turned to Glasses, who had only stumbled back slightly. 

“Shitty Hair! Weapon!” Katsuki yelled, not taking his eyes off Glasses. 

He aimed his palm at him again, vaguely aware of the capture tape in his pocket. He detonated another blast, but Iida had already run. Katsuki whirled his head around to see Iida rushing him, and he propelled himself into the air with a blast. He maneuvered himself behind Iida when he stopped to see where Katsuki had gone. Glasses turned his head just in time to see Katsuki set off another explosion. 

Katsuki landed on one knee, palms still outstretched in the direction of Glasses.

Iida had skidded into a corner, but landed in a battle-ready pose. Katsuki looked down at Glasses’ calves where his engines were protruding. 

Katsuki grinned as he stood up. 

“Is that all you fucking got?!” He instigated. 

For once in his life, Glasses stayed silent, and began to rush Katsuki again. They had already been close to each other, and Katsuki noticed he gained speed by accelerating. Katsuki propelled himself into the air again just before Iida could reach him, landing in the place Glasses had just been, with his palm outstretched. 

With the short distance between them, Glasses couldn’t kick into a high enough gear as Katsuki set off an explosion. Iida was blasted backward before he could recognize the attack. Katsuki rushed him, pulling the tape from his pocket. Iida hit the wall and fell to the floor.  

Katsuki extended the capture tape and swiftly wrapped it around Iida, strapping him to the wall. 

“It appears my villainous behaviors have been cut short,” Iida barred, “however you filthy heroes will rue the day-”

Katsuki rolled his eyes and stomped away, shoving the roll back into his right pocket. He was hit by a wave of exhaustion after he’d mounted the first flight, but moved to continue. 

“Baku-” the transmission cut out. 

Katsuki touched the device in his right ear again as he advanced up the staircase. He realized they still didn’t know what Purple-Hair’s quirk was 

He broke into a slight run as he reached the fourth floor. 

It was probable that Purple-Hair’s quirk didn’t enhance his body, or at the very least it wasn’t physically notable. He snuck around a corner to see the weapon in the back of a room, with Shitty Hair standing in the doorway. 

Katsuki advanced on the room, only to be met with Izuku in the doorway. 

“Kacchan don’t-” 

“So you finally made it, Hero ,” Purple-Hair grinned. 

Katsuki scowled and opened his mouth to retort when Izuku jumped in front of him. 

“Don’t talk to him! Just get the weapon, Kacchan!” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes and stepped past Izuku, aiming his palm at the weapon. He turned to see Shitty Hair, who was standing silently in the corner. He flicked his eyes from him to Purple-Hair, and advanced on the weapon. 

Purple hair spoke up again, “Yeah, that’s right. You’ll have such an easy time becoming a hero because your quirk does everything for you! You rely on it to feel strong, don’t you?”

Katsuki took another step toward the weapon, scowling, “Fuck off-”

He stopped. His mind felt like it was clouded, and his hand landed at his side. He tried to raise his palm up, but he failed. He wasn’t in control of his body. He couldn’t even contort his face in anger or confusion because he felt completely limp. 

He barely heard the words ‘ Now walk out of the building like a good little hero ’ before his body turned around and took a step to leave the room. He tried to pull himself back, fighting to ignite something from his palm, but he couldn’t even do that. He was watching his body from behind his eyes. 

He felt like a helpless doll as he took another step toward the door.

Chapter Text

Katsuki didn’t register that he’d been shoved until he was stumbling backward. 

Izuku was in front of him, his arms outstretched. 

“This is why we have to actually communicate, Kacchan!” 

Katsuki looked around the room, trying to piece together what had happened. Oh, right. He scowled at Izuku before turning around to face Purple-Hair, who had a horrified, confused look on his face. 

“His quirk only affects you if you speak to him – and it’s broken by contact!” Izuku yelled, “Just get the weapon! It’s a mind quirk, he can control anyone who responds to him.” 

Katsuki wanted to retort ‘I fucking know that now’ , but he stayed silent, taking a step toward Purple-Hair. 

“What did you do?!” Purple Hair shouted, stepping backward toward the weapon. 

Katsuki couldn’t help but grin slightly, recognizing the attempted instigation. It was similar to the one Katsuki himself used when he wanted a person to act impulsively in battle. 

“I guess someone like you wouldn’t understand, would you? You’ve been blessed from the start!” Shinsou grinned, “Nothing to say, hero?” 

Katsuki marched confidently toward the weapon. When he realized Katsuki wasn’t going to speak, he decided to face him head on. Katsuki jumped forward and ignited an explosion underneath him to propel himself above Purple-Hair and toward the weapon. He hit the side of it with his hand and slid down, turning to face Purple-Hair when he landed. 

Purple-Hair’s dark circles looked deeper. Katsuki suspected his grin would have widened at the sight of Purple-Hair’s defeated face, had he not tensed at the voice over the comms device infiltrating his left ear. 

“The heroes win!” 

Katsuki walked past Kirishima on his way out, lightly punching his shoulder to wake him up.

All Might walked them back to the observatory, taking their comms devices, blueprint, and capture tape from them. 

It was oddly silent – even Izuku. Katsuki supposed the reason for his silence was because of the ‘hero’ walking in front of them. Katsuki’s scowl deepened. 

When All Might proposed they discuss the battle as a class, it only took a moment for someone to speak up. 

“While Bakugou’s display of power was obviously what caused his team’s win, it looked like he took over entirely, rather than working in tandem with his partner,” Ponytail noted.

Katsuki balled his fists at his sides, barely listening to Ponytail as she continued to speak. The only reason it looked like he took over is because he had to in order to win. Of course he had a strategy, and he adapted it to the circumstances at hand. He was right for the situation, so he acted upon it. It wasn’t impulsive. Nothing he did was impulsive – not anymore. 

“That’s correct!” All Might congratulated. . 

“One should devote themselves wholeheartedly to learning,” Ponytail explained, “It’s the only true way to become a top hero.” 

Katsuki seethed.

He watched the screens as the second match started, but was too exhausted to pay attention. He heard Izuku muttering, observing his classmates intently, and walked away. He sank into a corner and rested his head back against the wall, beginning to take off his gauntlets in order to rest his shoulders. 

“You won, Kiri!” 

He looked up to see Shitty Hair and the pink-girl talking lowly beside him. 

“I only won because Bakugou took over, I really wasn’t all that good,” Shitty Hair frowned. 

“Nonsense!” The pink girl encouraged.

It almost made him smile. Almost. He slid the second gauntlet off his forearm and placed it beside the other one on the floor. Another wave of exhaustion hit him, and he lowered even further into the corner. Only then did he realize how tired he really was. 

He needed to figure something out, knowing he would burn out if he kept going like this. He was already sleeping poorly before Izuku went back to tailing him, but now he could barely sleep at all. Even when he managed to go to sleep, he would wake up to the painful, guilty feeling in his stomach. It seemed to get worse at night, when he would look over the edge of his bed and see Izuku standing in his room. Even he could admit he wasn’t really talking to the nerd, although these days it was rare for Katsuki to talk with anyone. 

He had to force himself to eat and even to get out of bed, even if he was just lying there, staring at the ceiling. The only thing he could think of that gave him any drive was the promise of victory, but in his deteriorating state, even that was unsure. He felt anger brewing in his stomach, but he was too exhausted to do anything about it. 

He slumped his way through the rest of heroics, refusing to participate in the discussions and glaring at any classmate who had the audacity to look at him. He walked as proudly as he could back to the locker room, even if he felt like he was fading out of consciousness. 

“-cchan? Kacchan?” 

“What?” Katsuki snapped, although it was half-hearted in his dazed state. 

Izuku shot him a concerned look, but didn’t say anything. They continued walking in silence. He wouldn’t know if anyone in the locker room had tried to talk to him, although it wasn’t exactly new for him to ignore people, so he wasn’t worried about it. 

Again, he didn’t remember walking back to the classroom, nor did he remember putting his costume away, but it was evident that he had. He slumped back in his seat as All Might explained some stupid shit that Katuki already knew about strategy. When the final bell rang, Katsuki tried to exit the classroom first as many of his classmates started talking amongst themselves. 

“Young Bakugou.”

Katsuki turned around slightly to see All Might standing at the front of the room, waving him over. He begrudgingly followed, not meeting All Might’s eyes and he stood in front of him. 

“Not much of a fan of me, are you, Young Bakugou?”

Katsuki could barely react in his exhaustion, muttering his answer before turning and walking away. He didn’t care if All Might had anything else to say to him, he didn’t have anything to say to All Might. 

“Not anymore.” 

The sun had almost completely set by the time Katsuki made it back to the dorms. He knew most of his classmates would be in the cafeteria after the tiring day, so he marched into the kitchen, pulled something out of the fridge, and continued to his room. 

Again, he changed in the bathroom, this time refusing to even glance in the mirror as he left. He practically fell onto his bed, tucking himself half-heartedly under his blankets. 

He faced the wall so as to not look at Izuku.

Chapter Text

Katsuki shot up onto his elbows, panting, his hairline drenched in sweat. 

His room was still dark, and his clock told him that was because it was 4:50. He kicked off the blanket tied around his ankles and sat up fully. He scanned his room, then double checked. He didn’t see Izuku. 

He slid onto the wood floor and padded to the door, unlocking it and stepping outside. He looked left, then right down the hall, still not seeing him. 

“Izuku?” he whispered into the dark hallway. 

No answer. 

He looked back into his room once more for good measure, and then decided to head downstairs. He guaranteed he wouldn’t get much sleep anyway, even if he decided to go back to his bed. 

Katsuki walked past Kirishima’s room, directly beside his, and thought he heard quiet shuffling. Why was Shitty Hair up at 4:50 ? Then, oh shit . 

Katsuki reached up to touch his right ear, and his nail hit something hard instead. He’d forgotten to take out his hearing aid last night. He removed it from his ear and inspected it in his hand. It didn’t look broken, and if he could hear shuffling from through the door , he supposed it was fine. He placed it back into his ear and continued down the hall. 

None of the stairs creaked, nor did the floorboards, which made it easy for him to go unnoticed until he reached the first floor. It wasn’t that he particularly cared all that much if anyone woke up, he just didn’t want to be bothered. 

He walked to the kitchen and made coffee, bringing the hot mug with him to one of the tables. It was peacefully silent, other than the sounds of his own accord, as he sat down. He was about to take a sip when he heard footsteps from the other end of the room. Are you fucking kidding ? He looked up to see the boy with split red and white hair walking in his direction. 

“Bakugou?” he asked. 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, too tired to come up with a response.

“Fuck do you want, Half and Half?” 

“Why are you up so early?” he asked in his monotone voice, completely devoid of emotion. 

Katsuki set his mug on the table, glaring daggers at Half and Half. He didn’t falter, nor did he stop staring back at Katsuki. Eventually Katsuki picked his mug up again and drew it to his lips. 

“Hypocritical fuck,” Katsuki muttered into the mug. 

“It’s just,” Half and Half started, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” 

Katsuki almost found that funny, and also simultaneously wanted to bash his head into the table. Instead, he just rolled his eyes and sipped at his black coffee, muttering “yeah, well, fuck you too.”

Half and Half squinted his eyes, as if he was analyzing Katsuki. It was a look he was all-too familiar with, and it made him uncomfortable enough to look away. 

“Do you have trouble sleeping?” God , he was blunt.

Katsuki finally raised his voice, slamming the mug down on the table. 

“Fuck off , Half and Half.”

He hummed, and hesitated a moment before walking past Katsuki toward the boys’ dorms. Katsuki drank the rest of his coffee in silence, until he started to see the sun peek out from behind the trees. It was still relatively early, so he doubted many people would be awake. He gave himself a few peaceful moments of silence before he got up to wash his mug. He didn’t think he’d be able to talk to another person this morning without snapping at them, feeling his insomnia-induced irritability. 

He crept up the stairs only barely trying to be quiet, now that the sun was starting to rise. He didn’t hear any noise coming from Shitty-Hair’s dorm when he passed it this time, so he opened his own door.

“Kacchan?” 

Izuku was standing in his room, directly in front of the door. Katsuki blinked exasperatedly and closed the door behind him. 

“Where’d you go, nerd?” Katsuki asked, walking to his closet. 

Izuku sputtered. 

“I- I was in Kirishima’s room,” he finally whispered. 

Katsuki raised his eyebrows in mild amusement, still turned away from Izuku, “What the fuck were you doing in Shitty-Hair’s dorm ?”

Izuku hesitated for a moment while Katsuki rummaged through his closet. 

“I was just checking on him,” he finally mumbled. 

Katsuki didn’t care enough to ask what the reason was, so he pulled out the tank top and sweatpants he’d been searching for, (which was absurdly buried under several T-shirts), and made his way to the bathroom. His uniform was hanging messily on the door, and he assumed he must have done that last night. 

He changed into his work-out clothing and turned to look in the mirror. His hair was slightly dishevelled, so he splashed water in his hands and fixed it. Black eyeliner was slightly smudged around his eyes, but at the very least his dark-circles didn’t seem to have gotten much worse. His eyes weren’t sunken like Izuku’s, they were just… he didn’t know. The only way he could describe them was ‘dark’, but even that seemed inaccurate. He wiped off the eyeliner away half-heartedly and went to leave the bathroom. 

The moment he took a step toward the bathroom door, he remembered why the tank tops had been buried. He turned back to the mirror to see his shoulders. It had been days since he’d last replaced the bandages covering the diamond-patterned burns on the outside of his shoulders. He crouched beneath the sink and pulled open a drawer in which contained his first-aid supplies. He filed through the band-aids, but he couldn’t find the ones he needed. 

“Fuck this,” he muttered under his breath, still carding through the array. 

He ended up pulling a white bandage-roll out from it. It wasn’t ideal because it would stand out against his skin and black shirt, but he would have to deal with it. He peeled the old bandages from his shoulders, which didn’t even sting anymore, and tossed them into the trash can beside the sink.

He listlessly wrapped the bandage around his shoulders and tucked it into itself, rolling his shoulders back to check for range of motion. He tossed the first-aid back into the drawer before finally leaving the bathroom. 

He still didn’t know how much Izuku knew, and he didn’t want to. 

“I’m going to the gym,” Katsuki announced unenthusiastically as he stepped back into the room. 

Izuku looked up at him immediately, his eyes wide with concern. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Kacchan?” 

“Why the fuck wouldn’t it be?” 

He gave Katsuki a knowing look, then sighed defeatedly, “you’re exhausted.” 

It didn’t matter how tired he was, couldn’t Izuku see that? He’d only been at UA for what, two days? He wasn’t allowed to be ‘exhausted’, not yet anyway. He’d barely done anything at all. He was supposed to be number one – the best . He wasn’t fucking weak. 

Katsuki walked to his bed and slipped his phone into his pocket, searching the headboard for the All Might card. 

“It’s in your uniform.” 

Katsuki turned his head to see Izuku standing in the center of his room, still giving him at stupid fucking knowing look. Katsuki stomped past Izuku and back into the bathroom, where he pulled the card from the left pocket of his uniform pants. Izuku was still staring at him by the time he exited the bathroom. 

“Will you just fuck off?!” Katsuki scolded, contradictorily sliding the card into the pocket of his sweatpants. 

Izuku frowned, but reluctantly Katsuki out the door. 

The gym at UA wasn’t very far from his dormitory, w hich was why it only took a few minutes for Katsuki to walk to it. Izuku stayed uncharacteristically silent, watching Katsuki like a hawk until they reached the weight-room. 

Strategy was in the front of his mind as Katsuki scanned the gym.

Katsuki has always been incredibly strong for his age, despite the fact that he doesn’t have a more muscular build. The majority of his muscle was in his shoulders, upper arm, and back, to provide support for repeatedly detonating devastating explosions, (not to mention the weight of his gauntlets). His mid-section was thinner, with a strong core; He had to have a leaner build to help with the necessary agility for his fighting style. 

Even Katsuki could admit he didn’t think he could run in his current state, so he settled for upper-body work. He walked to the far corner of the gym with Izuku trailing behind him. 

Katsuki pushed weights onto a barbell and slid onto the bench. 

“I won’t be able to spot you, y’know,” Izuku said, standing in front of the bench. 

“I never fucking asked for you help,” Katsuki snarled, wrapping his hands around the bar. 

“You never do,” Izuku muttered, lowering his head slightly. 

Instead of snapping back, Katsuki pushed the barbell up over the holds, and lowered it to his chest. He held it for a second, slightly readjusting his grip, and pushed it up again. He tried to deter his eyes from Izuku, keeping himself focused on the task at hand. 

He was only able to do a few reps of ten before his vision started to fade, and he pushed the bar back up into the hooks. His peripheral vision was starting to blur, and he blinked a few times, trying to clear it. He slid out from underneath it, and stood up from the bench. 

He barely even registered Izuku’s protest before he collapsed onto the ground.

Chapter Text

“Are you alright, are you hurt?” 

Katsuki blinked his eyes open to see Izuku directly in front of him, yelling something that he couldn’t quite understand. He sounded muffled. Katsuki pushed up off the rubber flooring and sat up with his back against the bench. 

How did he end up on the ground? He squinted his eyes, oh yeah . He probably passed out. He could hear voices, but none of the sounds were sharp enough to actually decipher words. He reached up to touch his right ear, and took out his hearing aid. 

He inspected it for a second before coming to a conclusion: it was dead. 

“-cchan!” Katsuki looked up to see Izuku was still talking, “Kacchan are you even listening to me?” 

Katsuki raised his eyebrows exasperatedly and shoved his hearing aid into his pocket. He pushed himself onto his feet using the bench, but collapsed onto it before he could stand fully. 

When he heard the muffled noises of Izuku’s incessant rambling, he looked up. 

“My hearing aid is dead, nerd, so I can’t hear you unless I’m looking at you,” Katsuki explained dryly. 

Izuku frowned, “You’re going to see recovery girl.” 

“Right,” Katsuki rolled his eyes. 

“I get that you don’t want my help, but you can barely even stand up right now,” Izuku scolded, making Katsuki raise his eyebrows. 

When he didn’t respond, Izuku extended a hand to help him up. Katsuki glared at him, tensing his shoulders. He stared at the outstretched hand, and something flipped in his mind. He didn’t know why it still made him so angry, he couldn’t piece it together. 

“Kacchan,” Izuku pleaded. 

Why was he like this? He always reached out to help even when Katsuki didn’t want it, no, even when Katsuki didn’t need it. He didn’t need any help from someone as weak as Izuku , so why was he being tormented by his ghost? Was it punishment for all the cruel things Katsuki had done to Izuku, or was he really just that persistent on never leaving Katsuki be. The fucker followed him around from the damn afterlife , acting like nothing had changed. 

Hell, he didn’t even blame Katsuki for telling him to do it. Instead, he persisted on staying by his side all the damn time. He looked at the hand held out to him again, and felt light headed. 

Izuku got to act normal, while Katsuki felt like his skin was being burned off.

“How are you acting so fucking normal?! Why is it me who’s so damn weak about all this, when you’re handling it just fine? You’re the one who’s fucking dead, so why am I the one who feels like it?! I don’t fucking get it – That’s the thing I hate most about you!” Katsuki yelled, standing up again, “It’s my fucking fault you’re dead, so why the hell don’t you act like it?!”

Katsuki stumbled for a moment before falling backward onto his elbows. Izuku stared at him with the same fucking concern he always did, only barely pulling his hand back. He sat up using his hands, tears springing to his eyes. 

“I used to think you looked down on me, but that doesn’t fucking matter anymore. You’re dead! You’re dead and everyone knows it’s my fault! My mother reminds me every damn time I see her, and I can’t even bring myself to look at Inko!” Katsuki could barely even see Izuku through his tears as he continued to shout, “Fuck – Get pissed! I didn’t ask for your help or your pity, so what’s fucking wrong with you?!”

Katsuki rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, before looking back up at Izuku, who stared at him in horror. 

Katsuki let out a strangled sob, “Why do you want to follow me around, I don’t get it! I’m the one who did this to you in the first place!” 

Izuku took a step toward Katsuki and sat in front of him on the gym floor. 

“I need you to actually listen to me. I’ve never looked down on you, Kacchan,” Izuku said, his voice small compared to Katsuki’s shouting just a few moments before, “and you’re not the one who did this.” 

“So then, why ?”

“You know why.” 

Yeah Katsuki knew why, but he didn’t understand . He turned his head away from Izuku, who stood up again. 

“I’ve got nothing left to lose”  

He looked back at Izuku, who was holding his hand out to him again. 

Katsuki remembered the hurt expression in Izuku’s eyes after he told him to take a swan dive, how he felt in the corner of his funeral, and how trapped he felt after reading the note too many times to count. 

“I need you to actually listen to me.”

He really didn't know what he did next, especially after all these years. He was probably just tired, and wasn't thinking straight. Maybe he did it out of guilt, probably even regret, or maybe he just wanted to.

He took Izuku’s hand and pulled himself to his feet. 

Despite Izuku’s unrelenting protests, Katsuki did not go to Recovery Girl. 

By the time he made it to the dormitory, only one person was in the common room. He slipped through the door and walked past Ponytail in the kitchen, pretending not to see her glance up at him. If she said anything before he rounded the corner, he didn’t hear it and Izuku didn’t tell him. 

When he made it to his dorm, Izuku didn’t stand awkwardly in the middle of it, nor did he sulk in the corner. Instead, he sat in Katsuki’s desk chair, pulled out just enough for him to sit comfortably. 

Katsuki didn’t tell him otherwise as he plugged his hearing aid into its charger, and made his way into the bathroom.

He had planned to grab his towel and take a shower, but he was reminded when he looked in the mirror that he no longer had adequate waterproof band-aids. He’d have to take off the bandage if he wanted to shower. He didn’t know if anyone would be in there this early, or if anyone in his class even took morning showers, but he didn’t want to risk it. 

He suspected Izuku knew what the reason for the band aids were, but was avoiding the topic for whatever reason. He didn’t want anyone else asking questions, (even if he explained them as a training incident), like why he hadn’t gone to Recovery Girl yet. He didn’t care that they’d likely scar if he left them alone, he just really didn’t want any knowing adult to find out. 

Also he just didn’t want to shower with other people in the room. 

He settled for just using deodorant, and changed into his uniform; taking the All Might card from his sweatpants and sliding it into his uniform. He traced black eyeliner on his waterline, and fixed his hair back into spikes. He was hit by another wave of exhaustion as he was about to leave the bathroom that reminded him he should probably make more coffee. He pushed the bathroom door open to see Izuku still sitting on his desk chair. 

Katsuki rolled his eyes as he unplugged his hearing aid. He doubted the charge would be enough to last the full day, but he was too tired to deal with it, (honestly, what could he even do?). 

As Izuku followed him out of his dorm and into the common room, he couldn’t help but feel slightly more at ease with the idea of the nerd being around him. The residual guilt was still tugging at his gut, and he doubted that he would stop waking up in a panic, but it was manageable. Maybe he would even feel okay if he wasn’t so tired. 

He poured the black coffee he made into a mug, and drank it alone at a table. He drowned out the sounds of common room commotion by listening to Izuku’s restored rambling, with a facade of indifference. 

He allowed himself to notice how much he really did miss that sound.

Chapter Text

Katsuki cradled his face in his hands, slumped over his desk. He would never admit to it being a struggle to keep his eyes open, but the black coffee hadn’t quite kicked in yet. He’d never really been much of a coffee drinker – he tried to limit his caffeine as much as possible. He always woke up early, was punctual and, before the incident, he went to bed at around nine o’clock. Now he could barely fucking sleep, and still woke up at five. 

Really, he didn’t try to be all that bad of a kid. He was just angrier than most – more irritable – especially with the additional sleep deprivation making him want to blow up anyone who looked at him wrong. 

“-on’t you think, Kacchan?” 

He looked at Izuku, who was leaning expectantly over the currently unoccupied chair in front of his desk. 

“Hah?” 

Izuku groaned, “We should try to pay more attention to the rest of the class!”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. 

He had always been incredibly perceptive, contrary to the popular belief that he was self-absorbed and arrogant. He used to be, sure, but even when he was little he could hold his own against people twice his age – and that wasn’t just because he knew how to throw a punch. 

Reluctantly, he did agree with Izuku. He would have to learn their quirks and memorize their patterns in order to beat them. I’m just too fucking tired to care.  

The classroom door swung open, and Shinsou stepped inside. Katsuki didn’t bother to look up, but at this point he’d memorized his mannerisms to know it was him. 

“Bakugou,” He acknowledged, striding to his seat. 

“Eyebags,” Katsuki retorted. 

It didn’t take much longer for his classmates to arrive, as he’d gotten to class later than he’d hoped. The first one through the door was Half and Half, who stopped in the doorway for a moment before continuing to his seat. Katsuki could only see people entering through his peripheral vision – not bothering to look at the door. 

Ponytail and Glasses arrived next, followed by Frog and Pink Cheeks. Eventually, the invisible girl who sat in front of Katsuki must have shown up, because Izuku had moved out of her seat to hover behind Katsuki. The classroom became louder with conversation and Katsuki didn’t pay attention to who arrived after that. That is, until three people burst through the door barely a moment before the bell rang. Katsuki looked over to see Yellow-Hair, Shitty-Hair, and Pinky rushing to their desks as Aizawa slumped into the classroom. The moment he approached the podium, everyone went rigid in their seats. Everyone except Katsuki, that is. Aizawa scanned the class quickly, and nodded in acknowledgment. 

“Decent work in combat training,” He started, “I looked over your results from yesterday. Most of you will have similar feedback, and I will distribute said feedback on sheets during class.  For now let’s get down to homeroom business, this next task will decide your future.” 

The entire class tensed more than they had already, while Katsuki barely suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. 

He continued, “You’ll need to pick two class representatives.”

The tension dropped from everyone's shoulders for a moment, before the room erupted with excitement. Katsuki lowered the volume on his hearing aid, scowling at the class. He already knew no one would elect him, as the only thing they knew about him so far was that he was pissy and detached. Based on the little knowledge he had of the class so far, he predicted Glasses would be elected. Maybe Ponytail, too.

“Pick me guys I want to be class rep!” Shitty Hair announced, before his request was drowned out in the sea of yelling kids. 

Katsuki glanced at Izuku, who was muttering something he couldn’t decipher through the muffled commotion. 

Being a class representative at UA was a good way to show Hero Agencies you know how to effectively be a leader, but Katsuki wasn’t going to bother trying. He would become number one his own way. 

“Silence, everyone!” Glasses yelled from across the classroom. 

Everyone turned to look at him, and even Izuku stopped muttering. Katsuki found himself raising the volume by one. 

“The representative’s duty is to lead, and that’s not something just anyone can do,” Iida proclaimed, “You must first have the trust of every student in the classroom. Therefore, the most logical way to come to a solution is democratically. We will hold an election to choose our leader.”

Katsuki scowled incredulously at Iida. It's obvious he just wants everyone to vote for him . 

“Is this really the best idea?” Frog asked, “We’ve only known each other for like, a few days at most. How do we know who we can trust?”

“We do live together, though,” Pink cheeks noted, “We’ve got to have some idea, right?”

“I guess, but won’t everyone just vote for themselves?” Shitty Hair asked. 

Katsuki actually found himself agreeing with Kirishima. 

“That will probably be the case for most,” Iida explained, pushing his glasses up on his nose, “But that just means whoever does receive multiple votes must truly be the most suitable for the job.”

That was faulty logic at best, but Katsuki didn’t complain. 

Iida continued talking, this time directed at their teacher, “That’s the best way, isn’t that right, sir?”

Aizawa zipped his sleeping bag up to his chin, “I don’t care how you decide, just do it before my nap’s over.” 

Katsuki almost smiled in fondness before Iida started talking again.

“Thank you for your trust!” 

They were given slips of paper, and instructed to write down the name of whoever they thought was most suitable for the job. Katsuki did a once-over of the room before looking back down at his paper. He knew the names of several people, and among those, were two he could acknowledge would be suitable for the job. He would write Yaoyorozu, but he was feeling petty over her commentary of the heroics lesson yesterday. Begrudgingly, he wrote a different name down on his slip. 

Someone who, although he hadn’t been paying much attention, had seemingly earned the respect of several members of the class. Someone who had acknowledged him in a way that didn’t remind him of his stupid fucking middle-school posse. 

He wrote the name quickly, folded his paper, and walked to the front of the room to drop the slip in a box on the podium. He returned to his desk to see Izuku grinning at him. 

Katsuki rolled his eyes and sat down.

On the blackboard were the election results, entailing their names listed out in order from most votes to least. 

Katsuki scanned through the numbers starting at the bottom. He almost smiled at seeing nothing next to Iida’s name. Most people had one vote, Katsuki guessed from themselves, until he reached his own name. 

Bakugou, Katsuki - 1 Vote  

Katsuki looked up at Izuku, who simply smiled before shrugging. Katsuki continued reading until he reached the top, where Yaoyorozu had two votes along with Kirishima. 

Shitty Hair straightened in his seat, “Two people voted for me? That’s so manly!”

Katsuki raised his eyebrows, ignoring the commotion from Iida on the other side of the room. 

If Kirishima voted for someone other than himself, and Katsuki had one vote… could that mean..? Katsuki couldn’t think of anyone else who could possibly think it was a good idea for him to be class representative. Hell, he didn’t even know how Kirishima could possibly think that was a good idea. 

“You think Kirishima voted for you?” Izuku asked. 

Aizawa rolled out of his sleeping bag before Katsuki had a chance to respond, calling the two representatives to the front of the room. Katsuki watched Kirishima as he walked up to the front of the room, looking back at Pinky, who smiled at him with her tongue between her teeth. Katsuki could only assume she was his other vote. 

Yaoyorozu stood beside Kirishima, who looked slightly unsure of himself, but smiled proudly anyway. Katsuki overheard some of his classmates muttering in agreement.

“Honestly, Yaoyorozu was on top of it when it came to training results,” Said the black-haired boy. 

“Yeah, and I can get behind Kirishima,” Said the yellow-haired boy. 

“This might not be so bad,” Frog croaked. 

By the time Kirishima and Yaoyorozu had returned to their seats, Aizawa was passing feedback sheets onto each desk. After Yaoyorozu’s depiction of his training, he didn’t estimate that Aizawa would have an accurate understanding of his strategy. Every fucking move he made was strategic – it was just that no one seemed to understand that. Not that he cared. His classmates who had already gotten theirs had various expressions on their faces, ranging from understanding to distressed. 

Katsuki scanned his quickly, reading through each category with a score beside it. He’d gotten top marks on all of them except for collaboration, but he was fine with that. 

He looked up at Aizawa, who’d crawled back into his sleeping bag and was now slumped in the corner. Katsuki couldn’t help the tired smirk that grew on his face as he leaned back into his chair. The notes in the margins of the paper were incredibly detailed – Aizawa understood . Katsuki recognized that he’d been failed by his teachers before, given meaningless praise despite his antics all because he had a ‘hero quirk’. This felt different than that. 

He felt understood. 

Katsuki had barely made it to the cafeteria without passing out, spots creeping their way into his vision. He was blatantly ignoring the concerned glances Izuku kept giving him as he carried his tray to the courtyard area, the cafeteria being way too crowded for Katsuki to eat in, ( like, seriously: Every UA student eating lunch in the same place at the same time was insane ). 

He collapsed onto the same bench, his tray clattering beside him. He could practically feel Izuku buzzing with tension about how Katsuki needed to take better care of himself. He fucking knew that already, and didn’t feel like hearing it again. He was much too worn out to argue. 

“Kacchan.”

Or not .

“What, nerd?”

“You already know what I’m going to say.” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “Then why are you talking?” 

“Honestly, I don’t even know how you’re still conscious right now, Kacchan.” 

Logically, Katsuki could probably guess at what the answer was. His body naturally produced more adrenaline than the average in order to counteract the effects of nitroglycerin. He was too out of it to go into the chemistry of what was exactly keeping his heart beating, or the effects the exhaustion was having on his well-being, and eventually Izuku relented.

The courtyard was peacefully quiet as Katsuki ate his rice bowl. 

He was only about halfway done with his food before the school’s alarms started blaring.

Chapter Text

Katsuki’s hearing aid’s charge had lasted long enough for Katsuki to hear the blaring alarm, followed by the robotic “There has been a Level 3 security breach” announcement. It took a moment for his mind to register ‘security breach’, before he turned to Izuku. 

Izuku was already staring at Katsuki with wide, concerned eyes. 

The courtyard the two boys were in had an easy exit to the rest of the campus, where Katsuki could make a break directly to the dorms. He stood up from the bench, leaning against the rail for a moment to collect himself, before walking toward the archway. 

“Kacchan, we don’t know what the danger is yet,” Izuku informed. 

Katsuki leaned against the wall of the exit, scowling. 

“ I’m not the fucking scout.” 

Izuku’s eyes lit up with understanding before he disappeared through the exit. There was a slight breeze that day, ruffling Katsuki’s hair, although he couldn’t hear it through the trees, oddly enough. He suspected it was due to the fact that his hearing aid’s battery was dying. 

“It’s reporters .”

Katsuki quirked his eyebrow at Izuku, who was standing in the middle of the arch. 

“Hah?”

“There’s no threat, it’s just the media infiltrating the school.” 

The media? Seriously?  

“Thought UA was supposed to have some high-tech security system,” Katsuki snarked. 

Izuku bit the inside of his cheek. 

“That’s just it – they do .”

Katsuki waited a minute for Izuku to continue his thought. He was biting the first knuckle on his pointer finger, eyebrows furrowed in thought. Katsuki leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes in the peaceful silence. 

“Maybe it’s a front for something else,” Izuku finally determined. 

Katsuki opened one of his eyes to peer at him. Despite not being able to hear it, he could tell Izuku was muttering again by the way his mouth was moving. The nerd was probably still speculating about possible villain infiltration, (although Katsuki couldn’t deny he was beginning to think the same thing). 

Katsuki closed his eyes again, savoring the tranquility of the courtyard.  

He was pulled out of his head when he felt a buzz in his right pocket. He slid his phone out of it to find he had one notification: an announcement from Aizawa sent out to class 1A that afternoon classes were canceled, and they should report to the dormitories. Katsuki suspected Aizawa would be waiting there to check in with everyone. 

Another wave of exhaustion crashed over Katsuki as he turned and made his way through the exit, Izuku appearing next to him after a moment. 

“What was that?” 

“Hah?”

“On your phone,” Izuku inquired. 

Katsuki opened it again and held it out for Izuku to read, before sliding it back into his right pocket. Izuku gave a curt nod, and they walked through campus in silence. 

His suspicion was confirmed as they arrived at the dormitory. Aizawa was leaning against the door with his arms crossed. Katsuki marched up the front stairs with his hands buried in his pockets. 

“Bakugou,” Aizawa studied him for a moment before stepping away from the door. 

Katsuki ignored him and pushed through the door, making his way to his dorm before his classmates could arrive.

“That was weird,” Izuku noted. Katsuki closed the door behind him as Izuku continued his muttering. 

Katsuki began changing into his sweatpants, hanging his uniform messily in the closet. He practically stumbled to his bed, and threw himself onto it, taking a moment to rest before pulling himself toward the headboard. 

“Oh, are you going to take a nap?” 

“The fuck does it look like?” Katsuki plugged the hearing aid into the charger before falling back onto the mattress. 

“Y’know, I’ve been wondering why you only have one hearing aid, Kacchan.”

Katsuki ignored him, (he could barely even hear him anyway), shifting into a more comfortable position on his bed. After a few moments of Katsuki’s silence, Izuku relented, “Night, Kacchan.” 

“ It’s the afternoon ,” Katsuki groaned into his pillow.

Chapter Text

He hates mirrors. 

The mirror in the bathroom reflects a boy with tired eyes, the same ones he looks into every morning, searching for a familiar spark of life. This boy’s face is pale, and his lips are chapped. He’s the hollow shell of the boy Katsuki used to be. 

It’s your fault . 

He doesn’t know the reason he’s still staring at the mirror, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe he believes staring into his reflection will give him the answers he can’t seem to find within himself.

His blood is on your hands . 

Katsuki can’t seem to move from the mirror, eyes locked with his own. 

“Kacchan.”

If he looks deep enough, the lifeless look in his eyes becomes accusatory. 

“Kacchan” 

He’s in his bed, legs tangled in the sheets, with Izuku in front of him. His eyes are wide with concern. Katsuki can’t help but turn away. 

He pushes himself up and looks at his alarm clock. It’s the time he would usually make dinner, but the pit in his stomach tells him he probably won’t be able to eat. He sits up fully, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. At least he fell asleep . 

He was still fucking exhausted. 

“That looked like another bad one, Kacchan.”

Katsuki scowled in response. He might have thought of some witty retort had Izuku not whipped his head toward the door, and began walking toward it. Katsuki put in his hearing aid, staring expectantly at Izuku. 

“Hah?”

“Someone knocked.” 

Izuku sounded as surprised as Katsuki was, which was only slightly demeaning. Katsuki stared incredulously at him for a moment, before sliding off his bed. He opened his door to see Kirishima standing outside, his hand raised as if he was planning on knocking again. 

“Hey, Bakugou, the class was planning a dorm-bonding-” 

Katsuki shut the door. 

“Kacchan!” 

“ What ?” Katsuki groaned. 

“They’re planning a dorm-decoration contest!” And there comes the muttering , “Honestly, it’s possible you could even do well in an activity like this, considering what I suspect Tokoyami has in his room – probably Jirou as well now that I think of it. I would even go as far as to say you might have some unexpected similarities with her. But either way, it would be a useful activity to get to know the people you are competing with-” 

Katsuki tuned Izuku out, (by taking his hearing aid out and putting it back on the charger), and crawled back into his bed. 

“If you care so much about the extras, then you go do the dumbass ‘dorm bonding’,” Katsuki murmured into his pillow, hugging it as he tried to drift back into sleep. This would undoubtedly mess up his schedule, but he was too exhausted to bring himself to care. 

Izuku suspected that Katsuki was not serious when he suggested he join the dorm-bonding activity, but he found himself in the common room anyway. It was when he was in groups of people that he realized how lonely he felt, although the rest of his life hadn’t been much better. 

Whatever, he shouldn’t think about that now.  

All of Class 1A was gathered in the common room, (with the exceptions of Katsuki and Shinsou), at the request of Kirishima. He was standing in front of the TV, while the class was mostly gathered on the surrounding couches – everyone wearing pajamas.

Izuku had missed the beginning of whatever Kirishima had been saying, but he heard the last few points. 

“Iida really manned up today during the reporter incident. He took charge while I was kinda just frozen,” Kirishima continued, “As the co-class representative, I think it would be manly of me to offer the position to him instead.” 

Ashido came up beside him and gave his shoulders a small squeeze, as quiet conversation broke out amongst the students on the couch. 

Izuku couldn’t help but wonder how Katsuki would feel about the potential change in leadership. Katsuki had been one of the voters to elect Kirishima, and Izuku suspected he didn’t care much for Iida. 

“Iida?” 

“I would be honored to accept this position.” 

“Alright, I suppose if we’re all in agreement, Iida is the new class representative,” Yaoyorozu said, awkwardly looking down at herself. 

Izuku had been focusing on the class dynamics even while Katsuki himself was too exhausted to do so. Some friendships had been starting to form, others had been formed before UA, but there was still a veil of uncertainty hanging over all of their heads. They’d only been living with each other for what?... A few nights? Izuku suspected the whole reason behind the dorm decoration contest Mina had been planning with anyone who’d listen. 

Izuku focused his attention back on the conversation when he heard Katsuki’s name. 

“Bakugou lives next to you, right Kiri?” Mina asked, “Did you manage to rope him into joining?”  

Kirishima scratched the back of his neck, looking away. 

“Well, no,” Kirishima replied, “Not exactly.” He almost looked disappointed. 

“Are we sure we’d really want him to join?” Asui asked, “He doesn’t seem very amiable.” 

“Yes, he’s been incredibly rude and aggressive,” Iida concluded. 

Izuku suddenly felt irritated, and instead turned toward Kirishima, who looked conflicted. He said nothing, looking back at Mina as she began to speak again. 

“Okay, well what about you, Aoyama?” Mina asked, “Where’s Shinsou?” 

“I’m afraid he will not be joining us ce soir, mon ami,” Aoyama confirmed, a playful glint in his eye. Despite being so outwardly flamboyant, he seemed oddly distant from the class, sitting up straight at a nearby table instead of the couch. 

“Hmm,” Ochako considered, “I think it’s fine if we do this anyway.”

“Do what exactly?” Sero asked. 

Mina grinned, “The girls and I have been talking and-”

“We have a fun idea!” Hagakure exclaimed. 

“We should do a contest to go around and see who has the coolest room!” Mina smiled. 

Some of their classmates who didn’t already know about the idea beforehand glanced around at each other, the majority of the class looking unsure. Before anyone could really make a consensus, Mina was ushering people down the hall leading to the boys’ dorms.

Chapter Text

Izuku followed closely behind the class as they walked to the end of the hall. He watched Tokoyami intently as he blocked the door to his room, arms folded in front of his chest as he leaned against it. 

He shook his head, “No way.”

Mina and Hagakure waited a beat before moving to push Tokoyami out of the way. He didn’t budge from the door until the both of them pushed him aside their full weight, making him stumble just enough to barge into the dorm. 

Izuku couldn’t help but feel just a bit uncomfortable at the breach of privacy, but then again, the irony wasn’t lost on him. He couldn’t really deny he’d kind of been stalking the class without their knowing, even if it was just hovering around the classroom. He still heard their conversations while they didn’t know anyone else was listening. Information gathering was a theme for him while he was alive, Katsuki could attest to that, so why would it be any different now that he was dead? It made perfect sense. (Just don’t think too hard about it). 

Tokoyami’s room was completely dark, with gothic elements decorating every surface. There was a dim, ambient purple light from the candles and eyes of the skull, illuminating the room ever so slightly. 

“So this is how boys like to decorate,” Mina inferred.

Izuku was immediately impressed with a particularly large sword in the corner of the room. Tokoyami didn’t seem to have a use for swords in his fighting style, or at least that’s what Izuku deduced from watching him fight during the first day of heroics training. His use of Dark Shadow seemed to be his main combat strategy, possibly even his only one. Unless he had sword training or-

“Please leave,” Tokoyami implored, looking hauntingly defeated. 

Distant conversation broke out, picking apart his design choices. 

“Are they gonna be judging our rooms like this, too?” Denki asked, looking slightly mortified. 

“Get out!” Tokoyami finally ordered, resulting in the class shuffling hurriedly out of the room, Tokoyami shutting the door behind them. 

Aoyama led the class to his room, where he opened the door invitingly and leapt inside. He displayed the sparklingly surfaces proudly, accented with gold fixtures and even a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. 

“Isn’t it quite dazzling?” Aoyama asked, striking a pose. 

Much of the class was entranced by just how bright the room was, especially in comparison to the dark cave of Tokoyami’s. 

“It’s so shiny,” Hagakure said, sounding slightly amazed. 

“Non, mon ami, it is magnifique!” Aoyama proclaimed posing again, with a grand gesture to the gleaming room. 

“Honestly, that’s pretty much exactly what I pictured,” Hagakure said as the class walked back down the hall. 

“This is turning out to be super fun,” Ochako smiled, walking beside Asui. 

“The last person on this floor should be…” Asui looked toward the final room on the floor, where Mineta was peeking out from his room with a disgusting smile on his face. Izuku found it satisfying when the class elected to take the elevator, albeit in multiple trips, simply to avoid having to walk past Mineta’s room to get to the stairs. 

The class explored the dorms on the second floor, at the expense of the boys who lived in each room. Ojirou’s was disappointingly bare, and Iida’s was exactly what they’d expected it to look like. Izuku suspected Katsuki would consider it pretentious. 

Izuku actually found Kaminari’s room quite unique and cool, although that was not the consensus of the class. 

“If I saw a store like this in the mall, I’d avoid it,” Jirou concluded, unimpressed with the chaotic patterns and decor. 

Although they couldn’t see him, or even acknowledge his existence, Izuku found himself enjoying the company of the class as he followed them from room to room. He smiled at the fact that Uraraka and Ashido were wearing spares of Iida’s glasses, and at Kaminari’s accusation that Koda was buying the judges’ love with his pet rabbit. 

“Let’s see…” Uraraka pondered, “The fourth floor is Shoji, Kirishima, and Bakugou, right?” 

Izuku stopped and stared at Katsuki’s closed door, and decided it was best that he was left alone. Maybe he was finally getting some sleep . 

“Let’s do Kirishima’s room first!” Ashido declared. 

Kirishima guided the class past Bakugou’s room and to his own door, placing his hand on the handle. He hesitated before opening it, “Not that I care or anything,” Kirishima prefaced, “But you might not get what I’m going for.” 

He opened the door to reveal- “A den of manliness!” Kirishima revealed. 

The first thing Izuku noticed when he first phased into the room was a punching bag in the center. Katsuki had been set off in his sleep that night – a bad nightmare, Izuku assumed, (although he never asked what they were about). He’d suspected Kirishima had been woken up by the violent nature of it, and so he went to check up on him. 

He didn’t really get a good look at it the first time, too focused on Kirishima himself, but now he was entranced by how overwhelmingly hyper-masculine it was, ( Not that he could talk – with his All Might themed room when he was alive ). 

“If I found out my boyfriend had a room like this, I’d dump him,” Hagakure drawled. 

“It’s so bold!” Ochako smiled, “Makes me want to work out!” 

“You get it!” Kirishima beamed. 

Izuku was starting to really appreciate Kirishima, and found himself smiling. He hoped Katsuki would stop isolating himself, and maybe even try to become friends with the boy living next door. 

Kirishima would be such a different friend than the ‘friends’ Katsuki had in middle school. He seemed worried about him, similarly to how Izuku himself was, even though he didn’t really know him all that well. When Katsuki had jolted in his sleep, hitting the wall, Kirishima had gotten up and walked towards the one they shared. He seemed hesitant to listen, but did so anyway. Katsuki was crying softly on the other side, although Izuku didn’t know how much of it Kirishima actually heard. He didn’t tell Katsuki. Neither of them did. 

He kept thinking as he followed their classmates to Shoji’s room. 

“You’re not going to find anything interesting in here,” Shoji introduced, allowing Ashido to open his door. Shoji’s room was even more disappointingly bare than Ojirou’s room.

Jirou stared at the lone mattress on the floor, “More like nothing at all, dude.”

Todoroki turned to Shoji, “So you’re a minimalist, huh?” 

“I just never understood why anyone would want to clutter their space with junk.” 

Sero’s room was exceptionally decorated, and Izuku found himself impressed. Although, as they moved to Todoroki’s room, his eyes widened impossibly further. Seriously, how did he do that?! It was like he completely renovated the room! Is it possible that with-

“How did you remodel this entire room?!” Kaminari exclaimed. 

Todoroki kept his face completely blank, “With hard work.” 

Izuku smiled wider, in disbelief that that might be Todoroki’s actual answer. 

By the time the class started to make their way to the final boys’ room, Sato’s, they were still murmuring about Todoroki’s. As Sato opened the door, the sweet smell of something baking wafted out of the room. Intrigued, Izuku followed him in. 

“Anyway, it’s pretty boring, I guess,” Sato rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Anyone’s is after Todoroki’s,” Asui comforted. 

“Something smells good in here, though,” Ojirou noted, “what is it?” 

“Oh crap I forgot about it!” Sato panicked, pulling an oven mit onto his hand, “Before Ashido and Kirishima asked us to meet in the common room, I was baking a chiffon cake. I was thinking we could eat it together, y’know? It hasn’t been iced yet but… does anyone want some?” 

 Ashido, Hagakure, Uraraka, Yaoyorozu, rushed over excitedly to taste a piece. Jirou followed behind them, with Asui following her. 

“The strong guy’s an expert baker?!” Kaminari exclaimed. 

Izuku remembered when he and Katsuki were kids, Katsuki would kick him out of the kitchen to make something for the two of them, claiming Izuku would get in the way. Even so, Katsuki really was an expert in the kitchen. He could cook basically anything, and it was always exceptional. 

It was rare that Katsuki would eat anything that wasn’t his own cooking, especially when considering the strict diet he followed to keep himself in shape. Then again, Izuku watched all of Katsuki’s usual routines fade away during the months that he was gone. That was probably the hardest thing he experienced as a ghost: seeing Katsuki being self-destructive, and not being able to do anything about it. Maybe he could convince Katsuki to cook for the class like Sato… maybe he could get him to stop self-isolating.

Chapter Text

The dorm decoration contest was more of a bonding activity than anything else, but Izuku was pretty sure everyone already knew that. Although, some of the boys seemed discouraged by the feedback their rooms were getting. His train of thought was interrupted before he could come to any conclusions. 

“Alright!” Hagakure declared, “That’s it for the boys, now it’s our turn, Ladies!” 

The class bounded down the stairs, following Ashido’s lead to the Girls’ dorm. 

“Don’t you guys think that’s too many rooms?” Jirou asked hesitantly as they crossed through the common room, “Maybe we should just turn in.” 

“Come on Jirou, you should live a little!” Ashido teased. 

The first girl’s room was on the second floor, and belonged to Jirou. She opened her door lazily, murmuring “it’s kind of embarrassing.” 

The room was filled with instruments and posters; It kept getting cooler the more Izuku looked at it. There were checkered patterns of red and black on the floor, ceiling, and even on the bed. Izuku had wandered into the room, starstruck, before he realized what he was doing. Seeing the drum set on the far wall made him nostalgic. Katsuki had always been talented, that much was obvious to anyone who saw him. He’d been musically inclined since he was a kid, when he’d started playing drums. Izuku suspected it was a productive outlet for his anger – one that didn’t involve getting into fights with kids twice his age, (even if he won all of them). 

Katsuki would appreciate Jirou’s room. 

“Holy crap, you’ve got so many instruments!” Yelled Kaminari. 

Classmates filed into her room after Kaminari, admiring the decorations. Izuku spotted a poster on the wall that he recognized – one with a skull in the center of it, and the English word ‘Misfits’ written along the top. 

Wait. 

Didn’t Katsuki have a similar poster above his bed..?  

“Jirou’s totally Punk Rock!” Hagakure praised. 

Izuku wondered if Katsuki still played the drums, and if he would even consider playing them at UA. 

“Can you play all of these?” Uraraka asked. 

“Well yeah,” Jirou answered sheepishly, “I mean… at least a little.” 

Izuku noticed how she looked unsettled, maybe even embarrassed, but was distracted by the decorations on the walls. There were CDs and Vinyls collected on shelves, and Izuku made his way over to file through them. Maybe there would be something he recognized? Something he learned from observing Katsuki? 

“ Your room’s girlier than this,” Kaminari gibed. 

“That’s because I’ve got style ,” Aoyama posed. 

Izuku turned his head just in time to see Jirou’s glare before she stabbed her jacks into their ears and deafened them with sound. 

“We’re done here,” She decided. 

Jirou dragged the two out of her room by their ears, still attached to her earphone jacks. By the time she released them, they were terrifyingly shaken. Izuku followed them out of the room. 

“My room is next!” Hagakure leaped, guiding the class into her room. 

She opened her door proudly, revealing the pink, feminine decor. Izuku found the stuffed animals in the room adorable. 

Mineta pushed past the crowd and into the room, which made Izuku feel uneasy. Ashido stepped forward as a warning, which Mineta brushed off, leading the class into the room.

“Now this is girly,” Kaminari noticed, earning a lethal side eye from Jirou. 

Mineta tried to walk over to Hagakure’s drawers, and Jirou charged forward and plugged her jacks into his ears, dragging him out of the room. 

“Mineta, you perv-!” Hagakure scolded as he was dragged past the class and down the hall.

Izuku smiled. Jirou was different from Katsuki on several fronts, most notably their difference in confidence and assertion. Although, Izuku couldn’t help but notice their similarities as well – and not just in music taste. 

The girls seemed noticeably more comfortable with Mineta gone, especially as Jirou returned to the group alone. She smiled at Yaoyorozu as her body language opened up. 

Ashido led the class excitedly up the stairs, directing them into her room. “We can do my room next!” It had a lot of the same patterns as Kaminari’s did, although Jirou seemed much more fond of hers. The colors were very coordinated – while the animal patterns differed, the pink and purple colors were consistent. 

“Ta-da!” Mina presented, “Isn’t it super cute?” 

Uraraka’s room was plain in comparison to Mina’s, although Izuku suspected that anyone’s would be. 

“Yeah, I know it’s not very interesting,” Uraraka said, meekly. 

Izuku noticed that several of the boys were reluctant to enter her room… and now that he thought about it… any of the girls’ rooms. Iida, Ojirou, Koda, Todoroki, Tokoyami, and Shoji had all waited politely outside the room, only looking in when it was presented. Izuku stepped back to absolutely not eavesdrop on any conversations… 

“Is this okay?” Ojirou asked, lowly, from the hallway “I kind of feel dirty seeing all the girls’ rooms up close like this… this is their private space, you know?” 

“Forbidden gardens,” Tokoyami muttered, ominously. 

Izuku let out a choked breath of surprise. What a statement. 

“Let’s do Tsu’s room next!” Hagakure suggested, excitedly. 

“I suppose it’s only fair,” Asui croaked. 

Asui’s room was… green. She had tons of plants, light green curtains, a sea green bedspread, and a green desk chair. It was notably organized, and not cluttered whatsoever, which Izuku could comfortably say was what he’d expected. 

“Then… the last one up would be Yaoyorozu,” Sero offered. 

“The thing is…” Yaoyorozu cracked the door open hesitantly, “I may have miscalculated a few things. The dorm is a bit more cramped then I’d anticipated” 

Yaoyorozu’s room was completely filled with fancy, antique decor. Most notably, a massive bed that took up almost the entire space. 

“The bed is huge!” Kaminari yelled, “You can’t even walk in here!”

“It’s my furniture from home, so I thought it would fit,” Yaoyorozu admitted sheepishly, “I didn’t know how small the dorms would end up being.”

The class glanced around at each other as if to say ‘are you guys hearing this, too’. Izuku couldn’t help but notice that most of the tension that had existed in the previous days had almost evaporated, even though two members of the class were missing.

Ashido bounded back down the stairs to where everyone was gathered in the common room… carrying a top hat. Uraraka and Kirishima were cutting paper into smaller pieces for everyone to write their vote on, while Iida had gathered a large supply of pens. Ashido placed the top hat on the table in front of the couches where the class was sitting, waiting for direction. 

Iida had, once again, decided that the most logical way to decide the winner would be a democratic vote. The votes would go anonymously into the top hat, for Iida to file through and declare the winner. 

“Alright, we’re done with the paper,” Kirishima announced. 

Uraraka took the initiative to begin passing out the small cards of paper, while Iida passed out the pens. Izuku made a point not to look at what anyone was writing, instead opting to sit on the table beside the top hat… up until Ashido took it to begin collecting the cards of paper.  

When the last person finally placed their vote in the top hat, it was given to Iida, who immediately began sorting the cards. Asui had given him a spare sheet of paper which he used to tally the votes. 

“Who do you think is going to win?” Ojirou asked Sero. 

“Honestly,” Sero contemplated, “I’d have to say Todoroki.” 

Izuku could see that. Todoroki undoubtedly had the most impressive room, but that didn’t necessarily mean he’d-

“The votes of this totally awesome contest are in!” Mina exclaimed, snatching her top hat back from Iida. 

He stood up, holding the Tally Sheet out in front of him.

“The first place winner of the Class 1A Dorm Decoration Contest received a total of 5 votes. With the exceptions of Bakugou and Shinsou, the top voted dorm is,” Iida scanned the room until he found her, leaned against the wall beside the TV, 

“Jirou Kyouka.”

When she heard her name, she immediately flustered, looking away from the class. 

“Oh, uh-” 

Yaoyorozu made her way to her, giving her a kind smile and whispering something to her. Jirou listened intently, and her tension started to dissipate, replaced by something in the realm of appreciation. 

“Yeah,” Kaminari considered, “Jirou’s room was totally awesome!” 

There were some murmurs of agreement from the class before Jirou looked up, blushing awkwardly. 

“Uh,” She looked away again, “Thanks guys.”

Izuku couldn’t help but smile at how different she was when faced with an enemy, like Mineta upstairs in Hagakure’s room. Jirou and Katsuki were different, undoubtedly so, but they were also so impossibly similar. Katsuki was a social recluse, who was confident and assertive when pitted against a villain, or really in any scenario where he felt in control. But day to day… Katsuki was completely detached, perceptive (and angry) as he may be. They expressed themselves in different ways, but intrinsically… huh, Izuku was starting to see just how well Katsuki could fit into the class.

He was confident that this school would be drastically different from their middle school – simply by the standard the students were held to at UA, but also because of the difference in maturity. Izuku wished Katsuki had been placed in this school, or even any social circle similar to it, earlier. Before he became so arrogant. 

Maybe things would have turned out differently.

Chapter Text

Katsuki’s eyes fluttered open to be met with the dark silence of his room. 

He felt oddly at peace, more so than he’d been in months. The blanket draped over him was warm, and he was safely cocooned in his bed. The looming guilt wasn’t incapacitating – he didn’t feel like he was going to puke the moment he woke up. He shifted, furrowing his brow, trying to remember if he was missing something. 

He sat up and flicked the lamp on above his bed, reaching for his hearing aid. He pushed it into his ear and pulled the blanket off of him. He was about to get up, maybe mull over the UA curriculum documents again, when he stopped. 

In the newly illuminated room, Katsuki didn’t see Izuku. 

Seriously?  

He did a once over of the room before sliding off the bed, onto his feet. 

Why does this always happen when I finally get some sleep ? 

He made his way down the stairs, stopping at the bottom landing when he heard voices in the common room. Usually he didn’t care enough to eavesdrop, and yet he found himself with his back pressed against the wall, listening quietly to the conversation behind it. 

“Jirou’s room was totally awesome!” Was that Yellow-Hair?

Suddenly, the memories from before he fell asleep came rushing back to him. Kirishima had tried to tell him about this before he’d shut the door. The class was having some form of fuckwit bonding exercise where they were judging every dorm. Izuku, like the fucking stalker he was, probably followed the extras around – peeking into their dorms without their knowledge. 

“Uh… thanks guys.” Right, that’s Jirou’s voice . 

Katsuki waited for a beat before rounding the corner, seeing the class gathered around the couches. He didn’t see Eyebags or Half and Half, but surely enough, Izuku was sitting on the table. It seemed he didn’t even realize Katsuki was there, but that was fine. He didn’t intend on conversing with the class – he was simply there to find his missing ghost. 

He found himself walking toward the kitchen. He had to get back on some form of schedule, and that included going back to his diet. It wasn’t until he opened the fridge that someone called him out. 

“Yo, Bakugou,” Yellow-Hair announced, which led several others to turn around to stare at him. 

He pointedly ignored them, laying out materials on the counter. The first thing he did was put washed, white rice into a pot to cook on low heat, knowing it would likely take the longest. He spun around to grab a knife, and by the time he returned to his place, Izuku was standing in front of it. 

“Ooh, are you cooking something, Kacchan?” He asked, pulling himself up onto the counter beside Katsuki’s workspace. 

“What’s it look like?” He muttered, beginning to unwrap chicken. 

Although he was pretending not to be listening, his attention was focused on the hushed conversation in the common room. He didn’t know if they thought he couldn’t hear them, or if they simply thought he wasn’t listening. Either way, he raised the volume on his hearing aid, placing a skillet on the stove with low heat. 

“I didn’t know he could cook,” Yaoyorozu said. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Yellow-Hair started, “That first day, he was cooking something in the kitchen. Ashido, Kirishima, and I went up to talk to him about something and we totally thought he was ignoring us.” 

“Oh, I remember!” Raccoon Eyes exclaimed, “His hearing aid died, so he really just couldn’t hear us.” 

“He did kick us out though,” Yellow-Hair sulked. 

“Do you think that’s what happened just now?” Kirishima asked. 

“I don’t know, I mean,” Tail started, sounding almost pensive as he said, “Maybe he’s just a dick.” 

“Well we already know that much,” Raccoon eyes teased. 

 “Yes, he does seem immensely insolent, violent, and short-fused in nature,” Glasses declared. 

Katsuki never claimed to not be aggressive, his explosive nature was literally a part of who he was in every sense. He was deciding between ignoring them, keeping up his nonchalant facade, and snapping at them not to mess with him. 

He poured cooking oil into the pan, swirling it around to coat it. 

Kaminari hummed, “Wait, that’s got me thinking-” 

“That's a first,” Sero interrupted. 

“-what do you think his room looks like?” 

That seemed to stump them. They were surprisingly quiet for a moment, and every time Katsuki thought they might say something, they shut their mouths. In the wake of newfound silence, Katsuki began massaging spice into the chicken. 

“You like the Misfits, Kacchan?” Izuku asked. 

“You know Misfits ?” Katsuki questioned, raising an incredulous brow. Misfits were an American band, and a horror punk band at that. 

“Well, I saw the poster in your room,” Izuku said, Katsuki looked up at him as he continued, “and Jirou has the same one in hers.” 

Katsuki stopped sprinkling more spice onto the kitchen to glance over at his classmates. Jirou had moved to the couch and was sitting beside Ponytail. The low conversation had changed topics, and no one saw him look over. He turned back to Izuku. 

“So?” Knowing him, Izuku probably wanted Katsuki to socialize with the class.

“You’d probably have a lot in common with her,” Izuku suggested, “Kirishima and maybe even Sato, too. He can bake.” 

“I’m not here to make friends.” Katsuki decided.  

“You’re going to need to work with them, Kacchan, and you know it,” Izuku said, staring at him knowingly. 

“That's fucking fine,” Katsuki spat, “I don’t need to be friends with anyone to be the best.”

Izuku fell silent, swinging his feet below the counter. The oil was ready in the pan, so Katsuki laid the chicken into it with a crackle. He took a step back to begin to clean up his workspace beside Izuku. He couldn’t hear any specifics of the conversation coming from his classmates, just low murmuring, as his left ear was now facing them. He wasn’t completely deaf, but he certainly couldn’t hear well . He only had the right hearing aid, after all, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever tell Izuku why. 

Chapter Text

The morning was warm, and the sun bathed the campus in a peaceful golden light. Katsuki could see the early-risers beginning to walk down the paths, and the breeze ruffling the trees outside the classroom window. Unsurprisingly, Katsuki had been the first to enter the classroom, and it would have been peaceful. It would have been peaceful if Izuku wasn’t hanging off Katsuki’s shoulder rambling on about everything he’d noticed about their classmates. 

Honestly, Katsuki was surprised it took him this long. Last night, Izuku remained quiet as Katsuki brought his food upstairs and got into bed early. He barely said a word besides ‘Goodnight, Kacchan’, as Katsuki turned off his lamp. Now, however, after a night of letting his ideas fester, Izuku was incapable of staying quiet. 

Katsuki finally tuned in to Izuku’s rambling as more people started to walk the paths outside, “-Kaminari and Ashido’s rooms are similar, too – It’s possible that they knew each other before coming to UA, but honestly, I think they met recently. They have a common friend in Kirishima, who I would say definitely knew Ashido before-”

The door to the classroom swung open, and Katsuki turned to look at it. Izuku continued muttering, seemingly unaware that someone else had entered the room. 

Aizawa and Eyebags stood in the doorway for a moment, before continuing into the classroom. Katsuki prided himself on being perceptive, regardless of his feigned ignorance. He noticed Eyebags was wearing a scarf almost identical to Aizawa’s, that he began unraveling as he neared the wall that contained their hero suits. Katsuki flicked Izuku, who was still muttering, to get him to notice the other two people in the room. 

Izuku faltered for a moment before gasping, “Woah, is that Aizawa’s capture weapon that Shinsou’s unraveling?” 

Katsuki rested his face in his hand, subtly watching Shinsou take his hero briefcase from the wall.

Eyebags already had an uncanny resemblance to Aizawa, so maybe it shouldn’t be so surprising that he’d take after him. Eyebags had an impractical quirk for Heroics, especially when paired against someone like Katsuki. Maybe Aizawa was training Eyebags to use a support item as a secondary offensive attack or something; he would be practically quirkless against anyone who knew what his quirk was. 

The idea that being quirkless made someone more vulnerable made Katsuki cringe a bit, especially when Izuku was so close.

He looked away from Shinsou as the boy left the classroom, and dug a notebook and pen out from his backpack. Izuku stopped rambling to watch Katsuki curiously, as he began scribbling something down in his notebook. He took a step back to read over Katsuki’s shoulder. 

[Think Aizawa’s training Eyebags on the side?] 

Izuku looked from the notebook to Katsuki, and raised his eyebrows when the blonde was already looking at him expectantly. 

“Uhh,” Izuku stammered, “I think it’s definitely possible.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. 

[I fucking gathered that ]

The door swung open again, and Iida followed Shinsou into the classroom, eyeing Katsuki immediately. Seeing Shinsou carry the briefcase back into the classroom while wearing his neat school uniform made Katsuki realize he had no idea how much time had passed analyzing Aizawa. He closed the notebook and set it aside on his desk. 

Katsuki glared at Iida as he made a beeline toward his desk, “What the fuck do you want, Glasses-”

“As your class representative,” Iida interrupted, “I think it’s imperative you show respect to your peers in this reputable highschool.” 

Katsuki raised an incredulous brow, “Hah?” 

“Oh, right,” Izuku rubbed the back of his neck, “I guess I forgot to tell you about that.”

“You forgot to tell me what?!” Katsuki demanded at Izuku. 

“Kacchan!” 

He was about to shout at Izuku again, before the nerd’s hand flew over Katsuki’s mouth, preventing him from speaking. Izuku’s wide eyes were communicating ‘ you are the only one who knows I’m here ’, and Katsuki begrudgingly got the message. Izuku pulled his hand away slowly as Katsuki glared daggers at Iida. 

“Who the fuck elected you as class rep?” Katsuki scowled. 

“Kirishima called the class to the common room to propose his idea, a message you chose to disregard,” Iida scolded. 

“I was fucking sleeping you conceited prig!” Katsuki yelled, kicking up out of his chair. 

Iida backed up a step, aghast as Katsuki’s hands began sparking.

“You would dare use your quirk against your own classmate?” Iida asked in offence, “This is no behavior for a UA student-”

“Sit down, Iida,” Said a monotone voice from behind Katsuki. 

He whipped around to see Shinsou standing in the front of the classroom, where Aizawa was leaned against the wall with his sleeping bag zipped to the top. 

Holy shit he’d completely forgotten Eyebags was there . 

He scowled at Shinsou as he made his way through the front of the classroom and to the wall which held their hero-briefcases. Izuku looked tense, standing beside Katsuki’s desk, glancing between the three other students. Katsuki turned back around to face Iida, who adjusted his glasses on his face. 

“I was merely suggesting Bakugou’s behavior is not acceptable, and feel a personal responsibility for establishing a respectful community as the class representative,” Iida explained as Shinsou walked past him to his desk, “I understand you denied meeting with the class as well, Shinsou, and were also previously unaware of the change in authority.” 

“Are all top students delusional, or are you just an ass?” Shinsou drawled, “We’re all rivals in becoming heroes, the only respect we should ‘establish’ is rivalry.” 

“Tch,” Katsuki scoffed, shooting Iida a glare as he threw himself back into his chair.

“Huh; ‘Conceited’ is a bit hypocritical to call Iida , Bakugou,” Shinsou smirked, “Is everyone in the hero course a bunch of ego-maniacs?”

“You say that like you aren’t in the fucking hero-course,” Katsuki scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, “and it’s not ‘conceited’ if you can back up the shit you talk.” 

It was obvious Iida planned on making some form of a concluding statement before the classroom door swung open, and a crowd of their classmates stumbled in. Many of them followed Yaoyorozu and hurried to their seats.

“Kami short-circuited in the common room!” 

Katsuki didn’t care to figure out what that meant, but it was apparent that Izuku definitely did as he rushed over to Kaminari. 

Katsuki glared out the window, pointedly ignoring the commotion of the classroom. He watched as the last stragglers made their way into the buildings below, leaving the campus empty. He couldn’t bring himself to be happy about the beautiful day, not when it felt like the very sun was mocking him. 

Chapter Text

Everyone left Katsuki alone that day, at least for the most part. He followed his routine of ignoring everyone and sneering at anyone who decided to get too close. Some of his classmates would get up and walk around during the breaks between classes, and light conversation would pick up. They seemed to be getting more comfortable with each other after that dorm contest.

“I see you watching them, Kacchan.” 

“Shut the fuck up, dork,” Katsuki muttered under his breath, adding to his notes as the rest of the class packed up to go to lunch. 

He saw the corners of Izuku’s mouth twitch up fondly, like he’d expected that answer. 

The class math-level was Algebra 2, something Katsuki had learned ages ago, and he suspected he wasn’t the only one in the class who had done so. Yaoyorozu was most definitely ahead of the class in every subject, and Katsuki was right behind her. Contrary to popular belief, he really was smart and calculated. It wasn’t just by force that he’d gotten into U.A, he’d also aced the written tests. 

He took diligent notes anyway, because what good would it be to slack off in class and do nothing? 

He slid his notebook into his bag by the time the last person left the classroom. 

“Kacchan, I really think you should try to connect with people,” Izuku suggested, sitting on the desk across from Katsuki, ( Jirou’s, he’s pretty sure ). 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. 

Izuku followed him out of the classroom, “I’m serious, Kacchan. I saw you in the months I was gone, I don’t want it to get that bad again-” 

“Don’t patronize me,” Katsuki muttered, the thought half-formed before it left his mouth. 

“It’s not patronizing, we’ve been over this,” Izuku argued, “I just think that if you’d talked to anyone in those months you wouldn’t have-” 

“Drop it, damnit,” Katsuki demanded, shooting a glare toward Izuku, who reluctantly shut up. 

He didn’t want to talk about it, those months Izuku was gone. He didn’t know how much of his major breakdown Izuku had seen, and he didn’t want to know. How many times Izuku followed Katsuki up to the same rooftop without him knowing, he didn’t want to think about it. They walked in silence down the hall, the faint sounds of footsteps and faraway voices echoing off the walls. 

Katsuki turned the corner, almost running into someone and stumbling a few steps back. Katsuki bit back an argument as he recognized the person as Aizawa. 

“Bakugou,” he droned, “Why aren’t you at lunch?” 

Aizawa looked mildly interested, but Katsuki couldn’t see why. He shoved his hands in his pockets, tounged his cheek and muttered, “Don’t fucking feel like it.” 

Aizawa eyed him for a moment, like he was studying Katsuki’s face for clues. 

“I see,” Aizawa began, “Why don’t you come with me?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, walking past Katsuki and glancing over his shoulder to see if his student was following. 

Katsuki shoved his hands in his pockets, following a few steps behind Aizawa as they walked together down the hallway. Izuku hovered around Katsuki, trying to read his face, which Katsuki kept expertly stoic. He trailed Aizawa down the hall until they turned into the teacher’s lounge, which was surprisingly empty. 

Aizawa walked them to a table where he pulled out a chair, sitting down and gesturing for Katsuki to do the same. It was silent, with tension thick in the air for a few minutes until Aizawa decided to speak. 

“Why aren’t you with any of your classmates?” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “I didn’t come here to make friends.” 

Aizawa stared at him with a knowing look in his eyes that said ‘I’ve been where you are’. Katsuki felt pinned under the gaze and looked away. 

“Fine,” Aizawa conceded, “But strategically, wouldn’t it be better to have a greater understanding of the people around you? Especially if you’re going to be working with them and against them during your training?” 

“See!” Izuku chimed in from the corner, causing Katsuki to glare at him. 

“I can have a ‘greater understanding’ without having to play fucking hop-scotch,” Katsuki snarled. 

“Fine,” Aizawa droned, “Then why aren’t you eating lunch?” 

“Because I’m in here.” 

Aizawa pinned Katsuki under the most exasperated look the perpetually-tired man had ever given. He reached under the desk and pulled out two bento boxes, sliding one of them across the table to Katsuki. Aizawa opened his own, unwrapped his chopsticks, and picked up a piece of chicken. 

Katsuki could feel the questions rolling off Izuku, “Woah, do you think he made extra, or do you think he planned to give it to someone specific? Do you think it was you? Maybe he noticed that you disappear around lunch time and assumed you just didn’t eat, so he made you extra in case he saw you, that would make sense if-”

“What’s this.” Katsuki demanded, narrowing his eyes. 

“Lunch.” 

“-though he would have to know about any allergies you have, but he may have been able to get into medical files being the homeroom teacher and dorm affiliate. Maybe he had to read all of them before the year- do you think he knows about the hearing loss? I don’t think he’s said anything about-” 

Katsuki scowled as he unwrapped the food, barely recognizing the flood of Izuku’s rambling as background noise. They didn’t talk as they ate, but Katsuki could feel Aizawa’s eyes on him.

The food was pretty good, and Katsuki joined Izuku in wondering if Aizawa had made two special, or if it even was Aizawa that even made the food. 

“Are you self-taught?” Aizawa asked suddenly. 

“Hah?” 

“Have you ever been trained for your quirk outside of a school-setting?” 

Katsuki scoffed, “I’ve never even been trained for my quirk inside a school setting. My junior high was shit. They didn’t care about any of the students – just milking the ones they thought might have potential for fame.”

He realized he might have said too much when he looked up to find Aizawa squinting at him. Maybe he didn’t like the cursing? 

“Which junior high?” Aizawa asked instead. 

“Aldera,” Katsuki replied suspiciously, feeling Izuku creep up beside him. 

Aizawa hummed and continued eating, leaving Katsuki confused and uncomfortable as he glanced over at Izuku. 

“Why do you think he was asking about… that , Kacchan?” Izuku asked. 

Katsuki couldn’t exactly reply , not with Aizawa so close and perceptive, so he unzipped his bag and took out the notebook. He flipped back to the page that held their previous conversation and started writing, ignoring the fact that Aizawa was most definitely staring. 

[Do you think he knows anything about what happened at Aldera last year?]

Izuku shrunk uncomfortably into Katsuki’s shoulder, tickling the hairs by his neck. 

“You mean… about me?” 

[You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, dork]

“I… why don’t you just ask him, instead?” Izuku wondered, “Why he asked if you’re self-taught?” 

Katsuki looked up to find Eraserhead squinting at him again, oh god this is gonna be so fucking suspicious , “Why did you ask?” 

He had to know. 

“You’re talented,” Aizawa droned, “I was wondering where it came from. Among other things.” 

What ‘other things’?

“I’ve been training since I was a kid, setting up contraptions and shit to get better at using my quirk for more than just blowing shit up,” Katsuki shrugged, ignoring the ‘other things’ for now. 

“Alone?” 

Katsuki paused. He suddenly became very aware of the ghost on his shoulder. His guilt started pooling in his stomach again, no matter how hard he’d been trying to push it down. 

“Kacchan-” 

“Sometimes,” Katsuki admitted, tonguing his cheek, “I was childhood friends with this one boy. He was a really talented quirk analyst. He liked following me around.” 

Aizawa hummed again, “Was?” 

Katsuki swallowed around the growing lump in his throat, “Yeah,” He scowled, “ Was .” 

Aizawa didn’t speak again after that, not making it obvious whether or not he knew about what had happened at Aldera. Not making it obvious whether or not he’d connected the dots between Katsuki and the accident. 

The whole thing was kept quiet. No one cared much for the quirkless suicides – more frequent than one would hope. Izuku’s case in particular was quiet due to exactly what was written in the note. No one would want to hold the number one hero accountable, so it was hushed. 

That was nothing compared to what people did to the memorial. 

Suddenly, he could feel the stares of both Izuku and Aizawa and slid the notebook quickly into his bag. He stood up abruptly, packing up the bento box on the table. 

“I’ll see you in class,” He muttered before darting out of the room.

Chapter Text

Katsuki was staring down at the wall. How long he’d been doing this was uncertain, but it was a short-enough amount of time that no one else from his class had come in yet. He could feel Izuku staring at him, no doubt with his big, worried eyes. 

“Kacchan,” He finally spoke, “I don’t think you should… say anything to your teachers.” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, glaring back at Izuku, “I’m not telling ‘em anything that isn’t true,” He said, ignoring the obvious implication. 

“Aizawa-sensei is definitely going to talk to you again,” Izuku sighed, “But please don’t say anything about you having something to do with… what happened.” 

“‘What happened’,” Katsuki mocked, “You died , Izuku.”

“I know,” Izuku said, “Believe me, I know. I died and came back as a ghost. I died and was forced to be a spectator to everything that happened after, so don’t act like you weren’t grieving. We’ve already started this conversation before; You’ve suffered enough.”

“Shut up, moron,” Katsuki snapped, “We’re not talking about this.” 

“Just listen to me,” Izuku pleaded, “You still have scars all over your shoulders-”

“Shut up,” He hissed. 

“No! If he asks again, just tell him I committed! There’s no reason to ruin your life over something I did!” 

“Something I instigated!” Katsuki was yelling too, now, “Don’t tell me this shit still would have happened if I didn’t say anything. Of course I regret it, I regret it every day of my goddamn life, but it doesn’t fucking matter. It doesn’t matter because no matter how much I grieve, you stay dead.” 

Suddenly Izuku slapped a hand over Katsuki’s mouth and widened his eyes. Before Katsuki could retort or try to grapple with his hand, Izuku hissed, “Someone’s at the door.” 

Katsuki looked over at the classroom door as Izuku let go of his face. Jirou was standing in the doorway with her eyebrows raised like she’d just walked in on Katsuki spewing curses at the wall. 

Fuck .

“What the fuck do you want, Ears?” Katsuki snarled. 

“You tell me, dude,” Jirou rolled her eyes, walking to sit at her desk. 

More students started to file into the classroom as it got closer to start-time. Katsuki rested his face in his right hand, trying to subtly ignore Jirou’s conspicuous side-eye. He plastered the same scowl on his face – one meant to deter anyone from bothering him. It wasn’t working this time, and Izuku’s gaze was fluttering back and forth from Jirou to him. 

From what the class already knew about him, maybe it wasn’t all that odd to find him yelling at nothing. But somehow it didn’t feel like that. 

By the time everyone was in the classroom, Aizawa slumped through the door and walked up to the podium. 

“Everyone sit down,” Aizawa demanded, “I need to explain today’s exercise.”

Kaminari and Ashido flew into their seats, sitting upright with their hands folded. Katsuki rolled his eyes, and diverted his attention back toward Aizawa. 

“Today’s training will be slightly different,” Aizawa started, “You’ll have three instructors; Me, All Might, and another faculty member will be keeping tabs on you.”

After a tense moment, most likely due to the mention of All Might, Izuku started mumbling, “Three pros? Is that because of the break in? I wonder-”

“What training is this?” Sero asked.

“Rescue training,” Aizawa answered, “You’ll be dealing with natural disasters, shipwrecks, stuff like that.”

Katsuki could feel the excitement around him as conversation bubbled up throughout the classroom. Some people seemed apprehensive, like Jirou next to him, while others were spewing possibilities. Some distinct voices stood out from the noise, even with Izuku muttering over his shoulder.

“Disasters huh? Sounds like we’re in for a big workout…” Kaminari said anxiously, looking at Ashido beside him. 

“Totally!” Ashido exclaimed, obviously more excited than nervous. 

“Real hero stuff!” Kirishima grinned, “This is the type of thing that separates the men from the boys. I’m shaking with excitement!”

“This means I’ll get to show off how good I am in water,” Frog (Asui?) told him. 

“I am not done speaking yet,” Aizawa interrupted, causing the class to immediately silence. Katsuki held back a smirk at how everyone sat upright in their chairs at the sound of Aizawa’s voice, “What you wear in this exercise is up to you,” He continued, “I know you’re all excited about costumes, but keep in mind that you haven’t gotten used to them yet; They might limit your abilities. Also, today’s training is at an off-campus facility, so we’ll be taking a bus to get there. That’s all, now start getting ready and meet me outside.” 

As Aizawa left the room, the class nearly jumped out of their seats to run to the wall and grab their costumes. Katsuki’s wasn’t damaged from the training, and he knew it wouldn’t limit him whatsoever. His shoulders were strong enough to fight with the gauntlets, and the sweat build-up mechanism was functional. He wasn’t able to accidently set any off, and didn’t have to spark off nitroglycerin to prevent it getting on anything. He grabbed his quickly to avoid the crowd, and got to the locker room before any of his classmates – who he suspected were mostly still talking to each other. 

He changed quickly, trying (and failing) to ignore Izuku in the corner of the room. By the time he shut his locker, the rest of the class was changing into their outfits. In the wake of their conversation picking up, he slinked out of the room and outside to where he suspected Aizawa would be waiting. 

All Might would be at training today, but maybe he wouldn’t have to talk to him. Maybe after their last conversation, he wouldn’t have to go anywhere near All Might.

He wasn’t hopeful. 

“Bakugou,” Aizawa addressed him. 

There was no one else outside the building yet – unfortunately leaving him and Aizawa alone. Katsuki hummed to let Aizawa know he heard him. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Aizawa prefaced, “But I do encourage you to talk to me should you need to.” 

Katsuki scoffed, “I don’t need friends.” 

“I am not your friend, I am your teacher,” Aizawa said, “I intend to maintain the distinction.” 

With that, Aizawa walked toward the bus, leaving Katsuki alone until his classmates showed up. The class began talking to one another again and the outside became flooded with noise until a whistle blew. 

“Gather around, class 1A,” Iida demanded, “Using your student numbers, form two neat lines so we can load the bus efficiently.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes and stepped onto the bus, which was organized much differently than any other school bus he’d seen in the past. 

“Glasses, that boarding strategy of yours isn’t gonna work with this layout,” Katsuki rolled his eyes, walking to the first window-seat he saw before his classmates filed into the bus behind him. 

He stared out the window as his class filled the seats around him, only distracted from his thoughts when he felt someone sit down beside him. He originally thought it was Izuku, but as he looked away from the window and saw Izuku in front of him, he realized it was someone else. He glanced over to see Jirou beside him. 

Whatever.

Katsuki rested face in his hand and leaned against the window, pointedly ignoring the rest of his classmates when conversation picked back up. 

“The bus’ open layout foiled my boarding strategy!” Iida complained, his head resting on his knees. 

“Iida, you really need to chill,” Ashido said. 

“Kacchan,” Izuku called his attention, “I think Jirou’s playing The Misfits, maybe you should talk to her.” 

Katsuki side-eyed Izuku into silence that tugged at his gut. He exhaled and looked over at where Jirou had plugged her earphone-jacks into her phone. He stared at her phone until the song switched and lit up the lock screen, showing she was listening to Helena. 

“Is that The Misfits?” Katsuki asked, despite already knowing the answer. 

Jirou looked surprised and paused the song, “Uh, yeah, why?” 

Katsuki glanced over at Izuku, who beamed at him and held two thumbs up. He scowled, “Helena’s just a cool song.”

“You listen to The Misfits?” Jirou asked, raising her eyebrows. 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “Obviously.” 

“You got a favorite song?” Jirou asked, looking at him through the corner of her eye. 

Katsuki gestured to her phone, showing Helena paused on the lock screen. 

“Yeah, I rock with this one,” Jirou said, “A lot of their songs are kind of disturbing, though.” 

“Their whole fucking discography is deranged if you know English,” Katsuki smirked, “That’s just how American punk bands are.”

Izuku was smiling so hard it made Katuki’s cheeks hurt. He leaned against the window again, staring at the passing trees as they ventured away from campus. Jirou went back to her music, and Katsuki was almost jealous she had such an easy way to disconnect from the world around her. She didn’t even need headphones (they would be destroyed in combat, anyway), she just plugged her earphone-jacks into her phone.

“You talked to someone!” Izuku exclaimed, balling his fists excitedly. 

“Tch,” Katsuki side-eyed him. 

“Don’t give me that, you don’t hate Jirou and we both know it,” Izuku grinned. 

Katsuki glanced at Jirou to make sure she was still plugged into her phone, before whispering, “She heard me before.” 

“Oh,” Izuku remembered, “Yeah, I guess.”

“How much do you think she heard?”

“I don’t know,” Izuku chewed his finger, “Maybe she thinks yelling at nothing is normal for you because the class might think you’re always angry.” 

Katsuki scoffed quietly, “I am always angry.” 

“No, you’re not,” Izuku said, with all too knowing eyes. 

He grit his teeth and looked out the window again, chewing his thumbnail. Izuku was floating in front of him, just above the floor of the bus, until he got distracted and hovered over to the people conversing. Katsuki had no real chance to hear what they were saying, as it was his left ear pointed toward the people. Usually he would have liked to sit with his left side toward the wall, but that would involve being in the open area with his classmates. 

Katsuki was ignoring them until he thought he heard his name, and turned his head so he could hear clearer. 

He recognized Kirishima’s voice, “Well, if any of our classmates have Pro quirks, it’s Todoroki and Bakugou.” 

Katsuki looked over at Kirishima, beaming at him with that same awe-struck eyes Izuku always used to have when he trailed behind him. He scowled and turned to look back out the window. 

“Yeah, but Bakugou will never be that popular because of his attitude,” Asui croaked. 

“Shut the fuck up, loser,” Katsuki muttered, glaring at Asui. 

“See?” She pointed. 

Katsuki scowled at her in response.

“Y’know, we basically just met you, so it’s kinda telling that we all know your whole personality is flaming crap mixed with garbage,” Kaminari smirked. 

What the fuck?

“You’re the morons that keep bothering me ,” Katsuki snapped. 

“We’re in the hero course, getting to know a fellow classmate shouldn’t bother you,” Iida explained. 

Katsuki was about to snap back when he heard a voice from the seat behind Jirou, “Who knows? Maybe some people just find you annoying.” 

Eyebags. 

Shinsou.

“I don’t need you defending me,” Katsuki snarled. 

“I’m not,” Shinsou shrugged, “Simply stating a fact.”

“This is such a disgusting conversation,” Yaoyorozu said. 

“It’s kind of fun to listen to them fight,” Mina grinned. 

As Katsuki was about to yell, he saw Izuku out of the corner of his eye. He was frowning, hovering at the wall of the bus and listening to the conversation. Suddenly Katsuki’s words died in his throat, and he sat back in his chair with his middle finger up. 

His classmates continued bickering until Aizawa scolded them from the front of the bus. Katsuki muttered ‘whatever’ under his breath and ignored what quickly turned into lighter conversation without Shinsou and himself.

Katsuki wasn’t planning on making friends at U.A, nor was he planning to let anyone get close enough to know him. He wasn’t trying to be mean, just aggressive enough to keep others away because he didn’t know how to process his emotions . Isolation was his only real option. 

Katsuki ignored everyone, watching as trees sped past them through the window, until they pulled into a lot outside a massive building. Katsuki took off one of his gauntlets so he could check the time on his phone. Aizawa ordered them off the bus, and they filed out into a group outside the building, Katsuki carrying his left gauntlet in his right arm. 

“Alright,” Aizawa started, “Once we get inside, I need everyone to listen to us heroes so we can have an efficient system. The hero coming out will explain the lesson.” 

“Yes, sir,” Iida saluted. 

When Katsuki shoved his hand into his pants pockets, his fingers brushed up against the zipper protecting the All Might card, making him look at Izuku. His eyes were shining as he stood beside Katsuki outside the building, fists balled eagerly like this was single-handedly the coolest thing he’d ever seen. Katsuki had to hold back a smile by reminding himself that he was the reason Izuku couldn’t be alive to really be here. 

Katsuki hovered toward the back of the group, something he liked to do so that he could see everyone in the room – no one behind him. He put his gauntlet back on his arm as the hero they’d be working with walked in. Alone. 

“Wasn’t All Might supposed to be here?” Katsuki whispered to Izuku. 

Izuku tensed slightly, and looked around, “Yeah, I thought so…” 

“Hello, Everyone! I’ve been waiting for you," said the hero. 

“Woah!” Izuku exclaimed, “That’s the space hero, Thirteen! She’s the pro who’s rescued tons of people from disasters across the world! It makes so much sense that she would be the hero instructing-” 

“I can’t hear with your muttering in my ear,” Katsuki said, unintentional fondness evident in his voice. 

“Sorry!” Izuku said, beginning to mutter quietly beside the ear without a hearing aid. It didn’t bother Katsuki at all.

He redirected his attention back to Thirteen, who was quiet amidst the excited buzz of his classmates. He saw Jirou in the crowd, side-eyeing him with her brow furrowed. 

A confused look like she’d just overheard him talking to himself. 

Again.