Chapter Text
Caitlyn wasn’t sure how long had passed — half an hour, maybe more — but she felt Vi’s breath starting to even out beneath her.
She kept her good arm over Vi, stroking her back reassuringly, and leaned back just far enough to see her face, to see the usually bright eyes that now resembled shattered glass.
Vi was absolutely wrecked. When Caitlyn had awoken to a scream, the first thing she’d seen was Vi, curled up on the bed with her hands shoved over her ears, pink hair plastered to her scalp, body shaking and heaving with sobs.
She’d never seen anyone like this. Never seen Vi like this.
Had Vi been dealing with this every night?
How had Caitlyn missed it?
Caitlyn did her best to hold back a flood of tears as she felt damp fabric pressed against her collarbone where Vi’s tears had soaked through. Vi’s fingers were still stubbornly clenched around her shirt, but Caitlyn didn’t ask her to let go. She didn’t press, didn’t ask for any explanations, didn’t say anything.
Because she knew that right now, all Vi needed was someone to anchor her to the world. She deserved to be held up when her legs gave out, to have someone to pick up the pieces with her when she fell apart.
Caitlyn could tell she’d probably never really had that kind of person.
So, she’d give Vi what she deserved.
Caitlyn swallowed back a lump in her throat, her heart throbbing with a dull ache for Vi. If not for tonight, she would never have been able to guess that Vi was haunted by such intense nightmares.
“Can you hear me?” Caitlyn asked softly, doing her best not to startle Vi.
Vi nodded mutely, perhaps too exhausted to speak.
“Do you want me to go back, or…”
Fingers tightened on her shirt, and Caitlyn didn’t move to return to her bed.
The silence stretched between the pair except for Vi’s occasional sniffle and the beeping of heart monitors.
It was a long while before Vi finally broke through the quiet, her voice soft and fragile.
“I…couldn’t save my parents.”
Caitlyn froze.
“W-when I was thirteen, the…Enforcers launched a…a raid on Zaun. My —” Her voice cracked for a second. “My parents were among the…people s-suspected of some…crimes and rounded up even though they…they were innocent.”
A shaky breath escaped the firefighter’s lips, and Caitlyn resumed the rhythmic stroke of her thumb across Vi’s back.
“There was a…bomb. T-the Enforcers were planning to…to blow up the whole group so…so they didn’t waste b-bullets. Powder and I…we escaped Vander’s house. We went to the bridge…saw the bomb…saw my parents…”
Caitlyn heard Vi swallow uneasily, and felt her fists clenching tighter around her shirt. Another tear soaked into her clothes.
“I…tried to s-save them,” Vi gasped shakily, and a building cry broke free after a pause. “T-tried to…help them escape. The Enforcers saw me, and…and t-they grabbed me. Pushed me away. Made sure…made sure I d-didn’t get too close.”
Vi squeezed her eyes shut, tears leaking out of the corners. Caitlyn swallowed hard, keeping her mouth shut and arms open for Vi to collapse into again, but in her mind all she could see was the gruesome, twisted scene Vi painted for her.
“I couldn’t…afford to l-lose them…but they…they died on the bridge anyway. Vander and some others c-came and brought us home, but…even after all these years…”
Vi choked out a sob, the pained sound nearly being forced out of her. “I still see…their faces. T-the bridge. The blood. Everything.
“Since then, I-I promised myself I wouldn’t…lose anyone again. I’ll do…anything to protect P-Pow…and Mylo and Clagg and Ekko and…and you. I…
“I failed to save them, Cait. I…failed.”
Caitlyn hated that. She hated that Vi had done everything a thirteen-year-old could have in the moment, yet she still blamed herself. She hated that Vi took it upon herself to protect the family and Caitlyn. She hated how much Vi was willing to sacrifice just for them. She hated how much weight was on her shoulders and how she’d never had anyone to help her with it. She hated the horrors that she now knew haunted Vi at night, the nightmares and the flashbacks and everything Vi had been dealing with.
She hated it all.
When Vi spoke again, her voice was so soft and fragile it made Caitlyn want to wrap her in a million layers of bubble wrap and protect her from the prison that was her mind.
“I couldn’t let it h-happen again. Not to you.”
Caitlyn’s vision grew blurry, and she felt the lump in her throat resurface so strongly she couldn’t force it back down again.
“I couldn’t lose…you, too, Cait.”
Without making a sound, Caitlyn closed her eyes and let her tears trickle down her cheeks, tracing their way down her jaw and sinking into her collar.
~~~
To her surprise, Vi actually woke up naturally instead of screaming and shaking from nightmares as she had the past few nights.
The sunlight was streaming through the window of the room and shining into her eyes, making her lift a hand to deflect it. She glanced at the clock. 9.43 a.m.
Then she realised that she was still very comfortably nestled in the curve of Caitlyn’s still body, her head resting on her chest, and the realisation shook her awake.
How had Caitlyn ended up here, on her bed?
And then it hit her.
The memories from the previous night — the way she’d sensed Caitlyn’s presence over her, as though protecting her from the nightmares. The way she’d spilled the entire story to Caitlyn. The way she’d failed to keep the dreams hidden from Caitlyn.
Vi didn’t want to move. Here, snuggled under the blanket with the warmth radiating from the sheriff’s body — it had been a long time since sleep was so inviting.
And yet…Vi had a lot of thinking to do.
Forcing herself to sit up and slide off the bed without waking Caitlyn, Vi slowly made her way to the other end of the room, towards the set of chairs the Reyeses usually took when they came.
Vi sat down heavily, running a hand through her hair. Her mind was still groggy, but the weight of last night’s conversation settled in her chest, refusing to budge.
She had never told anyone that story. Never opened up to anyone.
Not Powder. Not Ekko. Not even Vander.
And now Caitlyn knew.
Vi exhaled sharply, rubbing at her eyes.
Caitlyn had seen her at her worst — shaking, crying, breaking. Vi had never let anyone see herself so vulnerable. She’d never done this in the presence of even the people closest to her heart.
But the quiet acceptance and support in Caitlyn’s eyes soothed her nerves a little.
Vi had expected Caitlyn to simply ignore her, to be indifferent.
Caitlyn had defied her expectations.
She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or terrified — terrified that now, with the walls torn down, she would lose control over the person Caitlyn saw. That Caitlyn would see parts of her she wanted to lock away for the rest of her lufe.
A rustle of sheets caught her attention. Caitlyn shifted slightly in the bed, her brows furrowing just a little before her face relaxed again. Even in sleep, she looked oddly at peace.
Vi’s gaze softened.
Caitlyn had been there last night. Had held her when she fell apart, when she couldn’t even hold herself together. And she stayed.
She wasn’t used to that. Being the one hurt and in need of protection instead of being the protector was a novel experience. Someone had chosen to stay even after seeing her at her worst…and she didn’t know what to do with that care.
Vi swallowed, dragging her eyes away.
What was she supposed to do now?
Leave before Caitlyn woke up? Act like nothing happened? Or —
The thought of pretending made Vi’s stomach twist uncomfortably.
Last night had happened. Caitlyn had seen her fall apart. And Vi didn’t know if she had the energy to keep up her usual walls around her anymore. She wasn’t sure it was worth all the trouble, considering the fact that only Caitlyn had ever seen her so…
Another sigh slipped past her lips as she leaned back in the chair, tilting her head toward the ceiling.
Maybe she’d wait until Caitlyn woke up.
Maybe, for once, she wouldn’t run.
~~~
“Hey, cupcake.”
Vi’s soft and gentle voice helped to pull Caitlyn out of her semi-conscious state, and her eyelids fluttered open.
Vi was standing next to the bed, one hand pressing into the mattress and the other resting on Caitlyn’s hand. Her eyes were puffy from the previous night, but they had regained a little of their old spark.
Caitlyn tried for a smile, doing her best to not think about how shattered Vi had looked in her arms. “Hey.”
“Grayson stopped by,” Vi said quietly. “Wanted to see how the case was going.”
“What time is it?”
“10.30,” Vi answered, shooting a glance at the clock. “How’re you feeling?”
Caitlyn got the feeling Vi wasn’t just asking about the arm — it was much deeper than that. She was asking about the breakdown last night.
You’re the one who fell apart, and you’re asking after me?
Swallowing back the harsh — albeit true — answer, Caitlyn said, “Fine. You?”
The firefighter chewed on her lip and turned away. “I’d say the same…but I don’t think you would believe me.”
She was right.
“Hey.” Caitlyn sat forward and rested her hand on Vi’s shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
Vi’s expression didn’t change, but it was hard to read. She stared at her fingers, picking at her nails nervously.
“I’ve never done that before,” she confessed. “Not to anyone.”
Caitlyn waited.
“I’ve…been trying to hide it. From you, Vander, Pow…everyone. But I didn’t…”
She took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. “I didn’t know what to expect, Cait. And, honestly? If you wanted to, we could move on from this. Act like it never happened. Close the case…and you’ll never have to think about this or even see me again.”
“What?” Caitlyn tried not to sound rude. “Why? What makes you think I —”
“I dumped it all on you, Cait. You never asked for that, and I’m…I don’t think it's realistic to think anyone would stay after what I just showed you.”
The words hit Caitlyn like a punch to the gut, and for the first time she realised how deeply the scars ran. Vi never had anyone to support her or anything of the sort. She was always the saviour, never the saved. And now, Caitlyn had given her the space to be the saved.
But she was rejecting the unfamiliarity of it all.
She was so used to handling everything on her own, to surviving on her own…that even now, she would give up the relationship just so the experience didn’t stick with Caitlyn.
And the fact that Vi didn’t know how a safe space worked broke her heart.
She hated how much the world had demanded from a thirteen-year-old child, how quickly she’d grown up. Robbed of her parents, her shot at a normal childhood, plagued with nightmares and flashbacks and breakdowns for years…
Caitlyn couldn’t even imagine the pain of losing the people she loved, let alone all the other shitty cards that Vi had been dealt. Her quiet strength was just so…unseen, so underappreciated.
“No,” she said at last, her voice firm.
“I’m not leaving. I’m not walking just because of this, Vi. I don’t…”
Instinctively, her hand reached out and moved toward Vi’s face, poised to cup her face. Caitlyn swallowed, her hand freezing midair.
Vi’s eyes were a mixture of surprise, concern, uncertainty.
And Caitlyn feared it reflected how she felt about…this. About them.
Stop it, she commanded herself. She forced her hand to reach down instead and interlace her fingers with Vi’s.
“That’s not how…this works. I don’t leave just because you finally open up to someone after all these years and that someone happens to be me. No. I’m not going anywhere.”
Vi met Caitlyn’s gaze, her shoulders sagging with a sigh. “I wouldn’t blame you if you do.”
“But I’m not.” Caitlyn repeated the words, slightly stronger this time, and tightened her grip on Vi’s hand. “And I never will.”
Vi met her gaze, and for a moment the words hung in the air between them, not one of them moving.
And then Vi moved, wrapping her arms around Caitlyn as she had that morning in the explosions, except this time there was no immediate danger and the motive was completely different.
She heard Vi sniffle, and felt a tear sinking into the fabric at her shoulder.
And then she heard Vi speak — her voice soft but sincere.
“Thank you, Cait. For everything.”