Chapter Text
You’re running.
Annie’s screams, her voice, its’ usual warm tone rings with impending terror as it’s cutting through the air.
She’s calling out for you, you can’t hear it, blinded by the sheer idea that there has to be a way to fix all of this. There’s already victims, shit, Stack and Mary are already gone, but there has to be a way out, there’s got to be a solution.
And still, you know her, you know Annie, and Annie wouldn’t let you go to him. If she’d known for sure before she wouldn’t, but especially now after all of this has already happened.
So you don’t turn around.
Instead you bite your tongue, you muffle the voice that’s telling you to get back inside, the voice that’s trying to convince you that she’ll understand, that Annie, with her reasonable brain and gut would- will understand… Silly little naive voice, because the reality is that you fell for a man who isn’t really a man anymore, especially not in the state you’ve found him here in. Closer to a predator, to a vampire Annie rightfully deemed him to be.
And so you run, run until you’re breathless, with tears in your eyes, until no one and nothing will stop you.
Branches and thorns scratch your arms, as if trying to stop you too, their claws reminiscent of those you’ve seen on Remmick too. Blood lines on your limbs you run still, until you reach it.
The voice you regarded as a memory for so long, until tonight.
Thunderstorm cracks through the sky like a whip and a shiver runs down your spine. Somehow, in your shaky state, you’ve missed the approaching storm, but not the thunder that shook your heart then, that night when you’ve found him under a willow tree. And then, later, when you’ve welcomed him into your life and home, when you’ve decided to continue building them both with him.
You follow the sound, finding them just like you imagined, the people from the jukejoint, yet somehow the image itself is worse than you expected.
A string of dancing bodies cutting through the treeline. Soaked, yet not with rain, but blood. And his voice. Ringing in the air.
Then off to reap the corn
And leave where I was born
I cut a stout blackthorn
For to banish ghosts and goblins
A brand new pair of brogues
Thunders and thundering sound of dancing, stomping, it’s so close you can feel it in the soles of your feet, as if it was taunting you to join them. Loud cheering and… clapping, singing. You think back to local fairs and carnivals, to masses of joy moving nearly in unison. Back to your many years in many bars, many evenings and nights at different jukejoints, countless faces, some of them blurring together now, others forever imprinted in your memory. Friends and strangers. Some of them dancing in this very circle under storm torn skies now. It makes your heart break thinking back to just hours before, and even earlier, to those days when you thought you could hold onto those two worlds. Remmick smiling fondly from the corner of the bar at you, with a cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth. Now soaked in the blood of your own people.
You see Stack and Mary, and your heart cracks with an even deeper sorrow. It’s a perplexing image, knowing what their lives’ have become. Seeing them bathed in their own blood and that of others, yet… alive.
Remmick is there, in the middle of it all, dancing in the pit, enchanting in the way he moves and sings, the pristine shirt you saw him in at the entrance to the juke now crumpled, dirty, splattered with various shades of red.
He knows you’re there, watching him.
The thumping of his shoes on the ground aligns with your heartbeat. It’s a perfect symphony, even if you cannot hear it. It crawls up his spine in a way it had him every time he heard your voice crack when you come undone. A sharp smile cuts through his face, teeth glistening with blood and joy he’s feeling, his sunken heart finally full, beating as if alive with the thunder of feet, dozens of clapping hands, veins full or fresh blood, your heart within his reach. His heart.
You’re at a safe distance there, hidden away where they cannot feel you. Yet. But even when they do, he won’t let them touch you. You’re his.
It feels as if you’re being choked with your heartbeat, it’s so loud, it’s at your throat, pounding in your neck, like boiling water, boiling blood in your veins, bursting. Remmick like a god amongst them now, they listen to him the way he always wanted, not out of fear but bewildered awe, a wicked but willing hypnosis. There’s a smile hiding in your pain as you watch them at the thought that maybe, just maybe, they’re finally feeling freedom now, in this exile from human life. It’s almost reassuring, in how heartbreaking it also is.
The crowd disperses slowly, you don’t even realize when it happens, since your eyes are moving from one person to another, shifting like you’re trying to remember every detail before it’s too late.
That’s when you realise you’ve lost track of him. Frantically you force your eyes to seek in the darkness, looking for any trace.
Until you hear him.
- My wildflower.
A murmur on the skin of your neck as you freeze in spot, making your skin crawl, his hands coming up to your arms.
You turn on your heels, filled with terror and incredible longing, intertwined, pouring out of your eyes.
There’s something deeply mortifying about his appearance, or maybe it’s just the awareness of what he’s done. His smile is familiar still, still completely enamoured with you, despite the distance that’s grown between you since his last departure. The one you believed was the last time you’ve heard or seen of him.
And then the eyes. Brighter than lightning, brighter than the stars, but red like his shirt, red like his blood covered chin.
- I found ya, my heart. I missed ya.
You tense in his grasp.
- Don’t.
He doesn’t like that, you’re resisting, acting as if you’ve never seen him like this. As if you’re mad, when all he did was fulfill your shared dream. To live without fear, to be able to walk the streets side by side not shying away from the looks of the people you’ve known all your life, because you chose to walk with him.
- What is it now, don’t recognise me? Forgot my touch so soon?
- You left me.
A pained sigh as he freezes mid step.
- I had to.
You know he did. Partially because it’s what he always did when things got rocky and bloody. But also because you wouldn’t have agreed with his plans. You would have stood in his way. And he wouldn’t be able to rid off you too just to get there. That’s what it means.
There’s that sternness in you, in your unmoving expression and body language as you state it more than ask:
- Why did you come here, what is this?
Remmick smiles, a terrifying blood stained smile full of sharp teeth, yet childlike, full of pride.
- I found a way out, mo shíorghrá, no more hiding, not for me, not for you. Not for them.
It’s obvious now what this is. But you want to hear it, need to hear him say it.
- We could walk the streets together and nobody would bat an eye, not even your friends. I wouldn’t have to run no more, you’d be safe. With me, always.
There’s this look in his eyes that you know so well, that darkness you’ve seen only a few times. The only times you ever feared him. Because you’re not sure if he wants to crawl underneath your skin or drain you out of blood. Lust for your body, or just for your blood.
His jaw clenches and the smirk disappears, the glow in his pupils fades into black the way deep waters swallow blood, burying their victims in the bed forever. Both of you can hear your breathing and Remmick swallows.
- I missed you.
- Stop.
- I did. I still do. - Remmick whispers as he reaches for your hand but you take a step back.
- No no, there’s more to this.
That’s when he laughs, blood stained teeth and gums shining in the soft glow of the moon. The sound of it is stuck somewhere between offence and genuine amusement.
Another thunder strikes the skies behind him.
- You’re hurting my feelings, a chroí. - he chuckles out attempting to read into your intentions. But then he notices the twitch in your lip, ever so subtle. - I came to save ‘em, baby. Them and you. I’m givin’ em a fair choice and a chance. Life, in exchange for endless freedom, forever.
A trade. That’s why he wanted Sammie… And yet the boy wasn’t enough, no, he wants them all.
- This is not a choice Remmick, you’re force feeding them an idea they don’t even understand-
- We could have a family, sweetheart, me and you. - the words struck a chord within you making you choke on your next words.
It must’ve been a couple of months into your lives together, after the dust of excitement had settled, when it immediately became clear that nothing about your relationship will be normal. There will be no sunrises you’d both rush in the mornings to watch, no meetings outside in public by day, no stable workplace for him, no sharing of your happiness with others. No great house you could build fairly and with a guarantee that nobody will take it away from you.
Because there was no future like this at the horizon, not even behind it.
There was no heartbeat in his chest and quickly it became abundantly clear that the real curse he was burdened with was exactly this. Not the thirst for blood per se, but the never ending life on the run, no family or people to hold onto, not when he would have to bury every single one of them.
You could see it in his eyes sometimes, when he was gazing into distance like the present moment didn’t exist, like his past stared back at him, unforgiving promise of forever entwined with never. Forever to live, never to keep. You’d pull him out of it then, but there was that fading spark in his eyes, in his tears trapped beneath a mask of acceptance.
You swallowed. Somehow he’s found a way to bypass it, this permanent loneliness that dragged itself behind him whenever he went. But it also reminded you with a gut punch that you could never be enough, that he craves more, that still he craves community, all of the things that he’s lost when he became this.
Remmick notices it in your face, the realisation of his motives sinking in now. A family. No, he cannot phrase it like this, that’s not what it was, not what it could replicate. You were his home, his family. And he couldn’t just force all of them into it.
- It would be a real tribe, connected, not by blood but by dreams, plans for the future, a community. Our futures connected until the end of time. No more judgement, no prejudice.
You cannot breathe, or so it feels while your chest tightens with every single word coming out of his mouth.
Your body moves at its own accord and you take a step back, attempting to regain your ground and control.
- These are good people, Remmick, they’ve done nothing to strip them off their lives like this.
He sighs then. Somehow he wished, hoped you’d understand, that he didn’t have to explain it to you.
- This is the only way, baby. No more lifeless bodies in the bushes and the bogs. No lynching, no work for crumbs. They’ll be roamin’ free, no chains, no borders for ‘em to stop at. Free to decide for themselves how to spend their eternity.
- This is violence. This is not a choice Remmick, and you know that.
- It is, a rún, love o mine, that’s precisely what it is. - You swallow and he notices. You’re trying to be strong, unmoving and unmoved by his overwhelming presence, the sheer power of his argument. - And what, you’re guarding them now, protecting them? How? From what? Havin’ a choice? From me?! Is it me you’re afraid of now?
It’s clear that it’s not just you who knows him. In the rush of panic in your departure from the safety of Club Juke in your pitiful attempt to stop Remmick from becoming something you didn’t want to see him as, you’ve managed to forget that he knows you too.
When you met you were alone, isolated from others just like he was. For different reasons, yet the connection was there. It sparked his interest. You’ve had your people in the Delta, some that felt closer to you than your actual family, that much was obvious, yet you chose to live on the sidelines, distrustful. Was this that folk that damaged your trust? Was it your family? Did they abandon you, leaving you to be as you struggled, his precious wildflower, one he’s picked from a crowd of stragglers back then? Why were you standing with them now if so?
He came all this way, having fought for his pathetic, soulless life when he was captured by the Choctaw while he wanted to show them what he had to offer. All this for you, all this to pick back up his love. Whatever will stand in his way, he’ll move it.
- Who was with you when you were left alone? When your family left ya? When you had to bury your elders? Or when those bastards wanted to hurt you? Did they protect you? These people you’re standing for now?
- You don’t understand…
- Oh I do. You told me the stories of your wounds, you’ve shown me your scars. I know your pain, as you do mine. And theirs, even if they can’t even feel yours. Imagine if they could know what I do, what we both know, how their world would expand. You’d never be alone again. Neither of us would be.
Tears start welling up clouding your vision and you furiously rub your eyes, not sure if just to get them out or to hide how impactful his argument was. Regardless of why, he understood.
Taking a step forward, hands raised in a manner of surrender, still bloody, still so reminiscent to the way he approached you when you’ve seen him in his full form for the very first time.
- Mo shíorghrá, my forever.
And with the blood, with the image of your friends turned into vampires fresh in your mind, with every ounce of terror that rattled your soul, he embraced you. And you held onto him right back.
His shirt smells of dust and iron, with faint echoes of herbal scents clinging to the material. The long walks through the fields back home after your shifts at barrelhouses, moisture sticking to your sweat covered skin and legs of your trousers. Smoke woven into the fabric.
His fingers trace the outline of your shoulder blades and spine, leaving goosebumps on your back, subtle shivers. But your grip on him only tightens. Regardless of how this night of terrors turns out, he’s here. And you missed him. For over a year you thought he’s fled the country, and on worse days you could even imagine that he’s gone forever, that someone had gotten to him, that he died.
Remmick feels you now, your heartbeat as it slows down to its normal, usual tempo. Oh how hard he was missing it, this music that guided him all this way, kept him going. The thudding in your chest accompanied by your tone of voice.
- What if I was wrong all this time. - He says it quietly into your ear, bringing you back to him from the quiet place in his arms. - What if I was wrong tellin’ ya that it’d be dangerous, tellin’ ya that I have to protect ya like this.
You frown as your eyes are searching his face again, noticing how his eyes seem redder again.
- Remmick, what are you saying…
- What if I was vain for not showin’ you, who you could really become. What if you really could be mine and I yours forever. Really forever.
It couldn’t be… he never…
He wants to change you too this time. It’s no longer just the people around, you’re in his plan as well.
You shudder.
- Remmick, baby, you scare me… You’re not being yourself now, you need to stop this madness…
- And be alone again? A banished beast like I always been?
- Baby, you have me, I-
- But you’ll be gone too, sweetheart. Not today, not tomorrow, but you’ll leave me too. Everyone does.
Your heart sank.
You’ve talked about this, spent countless hours thinking, discussing it. Death comes for all that’s living, and sooner or later you’ll have to part ways forever, as your mortal body will succumb to it.
- Unless you’ll join me.
- Remmick…
- Never leave me. Be mine forever, how does that sound?
You’re awfully quiet, unable to say a single phrase that would express how you felt.
- I can’t just exist out there knowing you’ll be gone someday. It’s our only chance.
It was difficult because you knew what you were after when you decided to stay with him, so naturally you considered all options. Back then though he was hestitant, he brought he argument of your heart, of your warmth, of everything human and alive about you that he’d otherwise miss if he was to take your life away. And so even though you were the one to ask, Remmick refused.
But now…
- This cycle, livin’ and dyin’, it never stops. I am alone, sweetheart, even with you. Nobody remembers the world I’ve been brought into anymore, the tales I know. The only way out of this for me, is to share this, this burden, this gift, with others. They’ll know my stories, they’ll carry my culture with me. Even if I die, love, I will live in their memories, nobody will forget me anymore. No more hiding. For me or anyone else.
The scattered puzzles start forming an image at last. You take a step back chuckling.
- So that’s why you need Sammie…
But Remmick chases you, his step after your step.
- I have no choice but to live like this, a rún. But you do. So choose. Me, us, endlessly. Or the life you have now and I will leave you be. But Sammie’s coming with me.
- Why Sammie? He’s just a child, you’d find dozen others like him in Chicago, in Boston… Why won’t you just let him be? Let them all be?
- I cannot be alone again, ‘ve been living like this long enough now. He’s the key, he’ll bring em all back to me. - His people, his family. He suddenly stops then. - If I cannot have you, I won’t force you. You know I never did.
It takes you aback at first and you stop in your tracks as well. You take a deep shaky breath in and nod.
- I know. It’s the reason why I chose you, Remmick. One of many.
His vision looks clearer now again, as if you moved your arms in front of him and some bizarre fog dispersed. You haven’t been this close, this intimate and real with anyone since he’s left. Your heart an open wound, spitting blood, slit open the moment you realised he was not coming back. Time allowed it to heal but there it went, the moment he showed up again.
Now, in front of him, it’s hard to tell whether you want him to just take it, rip it out of your chest, or if you’d rather ask him to stitch it back together, so you can finally move on.
But do you want to move on?
A gust of wind pushes against your back, as if forcing you towards him again. It dances in your hair and he feels like he’s only just met you for the first time. Before years have scattered more marks across your skin, before the tiny wrinkles became more prominent. He decides he likes them on you too, decides he could immortalize you even ten years from now. Your beauty makes only a part of you after all, it’s only flesh, yet a mould too. Life has shaped you even without him, and he wants to know those parts too.
In a final attempt, swallowing back tears you ask, one last time.
- Why can’t you just leave?
The both of you know it’s not what you truly want. But for some goddamn reason you’re willing to put your own happiness aside, for them. And hopefully, for him too. If it only meant you could save him from the storm he is about to bring upon himself.
- Because I love you. Too much. And I want you to want me. I need my heartbeat back…
You can feel your eyes well up, narrowing so you only see him. Your secret boy, your secret love.
It wasn’t supposed to come to this.
- I do too, Remmick. But I can’t accept what you’re offering. Not if you are to hunt them.
He drags his palm across his mouth then, wiping off the blood and saliva. Darkness is swallowing him in that moment, you can see it in his gaze, in the way he moves as his back straightens.
- So be it.
A flash of light behind a flock of trees blinds you for a split second, and before you realize, he’s gone. Everyone is gone.
You’re on your own on a dirt road surrounded by trees from either side of it.
Dead silence, only a distant thunder.
And a laughter that makes your spine curl.
Mary.
- Honey whatch’ u doin’ out here? All alone? Wanna join us?
She’s laughing, hysterically, like a fucking hyena if you’ve ever heard one. It sends a wave of shivers whenever you hear it
It sounds unnatural. They way she looks too, you can barely recognise her.
Disheveled hair, dried blood all over her chin, Stack’s blood. And he’s right behind her too, tagging along, seizing you like you’re no longer a friend but something else entirely.
- Hey baby! You liked the show? Turns out some crackers’ be worth givin’ a chance huh…
You stand there paralysed. It feels like a set up, you’re shaking with just the idea what they’re planning next.
Remmick was something you’ve gotten used to seeing, the blood, the gore, the fangs and the eyes. But again, you’ve only known him for as long as he’s been this. But seeing them both changed strikes different cords, causes you a different type of pain.
Mary stops mid-step as she’s circling around you, as you then realise they both do, only now she’s standing in front of you and Stack behind you, trapping you between them.
Her eyes glow with golden and green hues.
- Cat got your tongue? - It’s a game, she’s toying with you. You can feel Stack’s ragged breath on your back. A piece of meat on a hook for both of them to play with.
Stack steps closer, taunting you.
- Nervous?
Mary grins, but it looks more like a terrifying mask than her face now.
- Gotta be, when your man’s in town… I’d know.
- Yea, look at her. - Stack holds you still by your arms and points from behind you at Mary. There’s something about the way she moves now, how she walks and presents herself, it’s like she’s gotten rid of all the boundaries, gotten bolder, fuller, filling out all the restraints she’s had put on her to the point they all broke off. Mary smiles softer now. - She got it good now, stuck w’ me forever.
- Together forever baby.
There’s a glimmer in her eyes and you can tell she’s looking at him now.
They’ve been lovers long ago, on and off. In many ways in a similar fashion to what you had with Remmick, because they couldn’t really be together, shouldn’t be. They’ve known each other since they were kids, it’s how you’ve befriended them all. Stack taught you how to protect yourself, Smoke showed you how to hold a gun, both of you. But as time passed the Moore brothers began to disagree on the matter of Stack’s and Mary’s relationship, because the two have grown closer than what one would expect from just friends.
She wanted to marry him, he was wild but was willing to yield, only there was one issue.
Mary was white passing, it was as simple as that. With time it was becoming more jarring when the two walked the street together, people noticed, gossips were spreading. “It’s better this way” Stack told you when you asked him why he stopped talking to Mary. The brothers wanted to make a coin, fast, and so they left, pushing away both Annie and Mary, the latter straight into the arms of a wealthy white farm owner, forcing her out of the community and into a different lifestyle, among the white folks. A safer way to deal with how complicated it would’ve been for both of them if Mary stayed with the man she actually wanted to be with.
You know she’s been hurting and seeing them now, even this crooked version of them, brought a sense of fulfilment. Things have changed, for better or worse, but they stuck with each other. Even in death. Or especially so.
- Thought we wouldn’t know huh? Remmick’s smart, he don’t let us see everything, but we seen the way you two talkin’.
- Lovebirds…
- That’s right Mary. Wonder why he didn’t turn you yet?
You swallowed and finally spoke, voice breaking through the dense silence and their cackling.
- It was my choice.
Mary gasps, as if offended, and Stack laughs behind you, making you turn in his direction.
- Oh you don’t know what you’re missin’. You’d like it. You’d looove to know how he thinks, bet he’d let you into all the nooks and crannies of his brain, not like us.
- Stack please… - Your gaze is pleading although you’re not really sure what you want to ask of him. To let you go? For them to stop talking about you and Remmick? The exposure and how cornered you felt, despite being placed in the centre is too much to bear.
Will they kill you? You watch the crazed looks on their faces still not fully believing they used to be your friends, yet now seemed impossible to read.
Suddenly Mary must’ve heard something because she looks over her shoulder towards the spot where the light is coming from.
The Juke.
- Elias, we gotta go, your brother is waiting his turn.
You grow pale. They want to turn Smoke, probably Annie next, and you know damn well that the Twins can only stay separated for so long and it’s only a matter of time before Stack cracks the surface and gets through to his brother.
- Nono no, no!
In panicked frenzy you’re looking for some sort of weapon, something you could stop them with, a branch, something to stop them. Stack just laughs at your pathetic attempts as he smoothly passes you by to stand beside Mary, pulling her to his side as he drapes an arm around her shoulder.
- Don’t worry, it don’t hurt too much. But how would you know, if you never even tried?
Desperation must be coursing through your veins, staining your vision because you launch yourself at them. Before you could reach them it’s pitch darkness again.