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Blurr is perfect.
Or nearly so, the knight has his flaws-- a little frivolous, a little unmoored. But he is kind, and bold, and daring. Honorable, so far as Shockwave has seen, without losing his playfulness. He's a fine swordsmech, skilled in magic, and his speed requires precision, keen senses, and the finest of reflexes. And though it matters less, to say Blurr is handsome is to miss an opportunity to use the word beautiful. Trim, elegant proportions, a sweet, sleek face-- a beautiful mechanism, truly.
The very picture of a perfect knight.
It is the kindness that focuses most of Shockwave's attention, though, the smiles and casual touches, offered to anyone, everyone.
Even to him.
Blur has never flinched away from Shockwave, never shied away from touching any part of him, hideous as he is, never worried he'd profane himself by treating a demon like--
-- like a mech.
Blurr is a wonder, and if he had an ounce of ambition, a goal to chase, a wild dream of a better world to pursue, he'd remind Shockwave dangerously of his own past, his own life, when he was a living mech.
Luckily, Blurr seems to be a simple mechanism, content with what he has and what he can do, without seeking to dare more than winning races and tourneys. Shockwave hasn't seen anything about Blurr that suggests his desires might put him in danger. Blurr doesn't assume that anything not forbidden must therefore be allowed, he doesn't cross lines or push boundaries. Nothing about Blurr seems like it might anger Primus. (But then, Shockwave hadn't thought he was doing anything wrong, either. Perhaps he has no business guessing.)
Blurr questions, but he questions people, in idle curiosity, wanting to know them better.
Even Shockwave-- Blurr asks him questions all the time, about his past, his unique state, his understanding of being a demon.
He is kind and true and honorable, and Shockwave does believe that-- now that Blurr understands why Shockwave wants an end to his existence-- Blurr will keep his word.
Blurr will end him.
They're already so close-- so close, one ingredient away from peace, oblivion, one last step to freedom from the guilt that tears at whatever his spark is now. Freedom from unforgiving hunters and their irresistible commands, freedom from knowing how many innocents he'd been forced to tear to pieces, how many of his own students had been sundered by Shockwave's own claws.
Shockwave would have been so proud to have Blurr as a student, to teach him himself, to see Blurr grow into a knight-- but then, Shockwave might have pushed him to ambitious, unchecked dreams. Better that he came up now, in a softer age, when he doesn't need to be a paragon of virtue just to keep from being seen as a monster. When he can be as light and playful as he is without worry.
Shockwave is grateful for Blurr-- that it will be Blurr granting him mercy, in the end, and not someone wholly unconnected to his past, his complicated legacy; not someone who will destroy him with hate or indifference in their optics.
Blurr is a true knight.
Blurr is going to come apart at the seams.
One more thing-- they need one more ingredient, to meet one more "helpful" death-bringer, and then Shockwave will be gone.
And Blurr will kill him. Blur will have to kill him.
He swore he would, and he'll keep his word; Blurr is a knight, and bound by his oaths. Only Shockwave could release him from it, and Shockwave… won't.
(Blurr has the power to stop this. Shockwave is a summoned demon, he has to obey Blurr; if Blurr tells him to stop asking to die, that they are giving up the quest, there's nothing Shockwave can do to force him to return to it. But Blurr fears what he'd be, if he shattered a promise into that many fragments.)
He can't make Shockwave stay, he can't break his vow. Blurr has tried everything he dares, lately, to tempt Shockwave into living, into healing, but no matter where they go, what they see, who treats him kindly, nothing seems to help, to soothe Shockwave's pain-- and maybe nothing can. Maybe nothing could-- even Primus forgiving and restoring him might not help, because of all Shockwave has been through.
All the people Shockwave has been made to kill.
Blurr loves Shockwave.
Loves him, is in love with him, wants him, wants his gentle touch and his heavy frame, his sense of humor and his fountainhead of knowledge. He is so clever, so wise, so warm, so fascinating, and Blurr loves him loves him loves him loves him.
And he is one meeting with a death-bringer away from losing him forever.
It's an obsidian knife at his throat, a molecular edge teasing at his fuel lines. His spark feels like ice under the warming sun-- growing thin, brittle, waiting for one wrong step to cause the CRACK that will see him shatter and melt into nothing.
Shockwave will die, because Shockwave is in pain, and nothing else Blurr can do or give or offer seems to help; Blurr will be the thing that takes Shockwave away, that removes all hope of recovery, because like every stupid knight in a fable with a moral about not giving your word foolishly, he gave his word foolishly.
He didn't know it was foolish at the time, but what fable knight ever does?
Blurr gave his word; he'll kill Shockwave.
(And Blurr may want, desperately, to confess his feelings, to fall on his knees and beg Shockwave to love him back, beg him to change his mind, to let Blurr be enough to live for, for now; beg him to try to heal now that the world isn't so terrible. Beg him, at least, to hold the death potion until Blurr himself dies, to drink it once there's truly nothing left for Shockwave-- because Blurr is for Shockwave. But if he worded any of that just wrong, it would be orders, and Shockwave would-- again, again, again-- have no choice, and even if he worded it perfectly? Shockwave has been torn apart and remade, forsaken by Primus, used as a weapon to undo his own good works, to kill those he holds most dear. Held. Held most dear. If death is all that can stop Shockwave's pain, how small, how terrible, would Blurr have to be to beg him to stay and spare Blurr pain? So he locks "I want" and "I don't" and all his broken pleading behind his teeth. His feelings cannot be allowed to be Shockwave's problems.)
Blurr is going to kill the first person he's ever really loved.
He gave his word.
He just doesn't know how to face whatever he'll be after that.