Chapter Text
It took longer than expected for Yelena to realize this wasn’t one of her Rooms.
In her defense, the Red Room was a frequent sight in the Void Rooms. And as the one who helped Bob learn control the most, she saw tons of different memories from it tons of different times. Every time Bucky would casually suggest therapy to her (something he did to every team member), she would argue she was getting plenty of exposure therapy by helping Bob. He never had an answer for that.
So when she watched her younger self struggle against Black Widow soldiers as she was seperated from her sister for the first time, screaming, pushed through a doorway that echoed from her own memories of her first training session, all she thought at first was that this was a weird place to start this memory. Why wouldn’t it be when she was in the room already?
And then she turned to see a younger Natasha, her eyes closed and a slow breath leaving her, and she realized the Void intended a different kind of torture for her this time.
She walked over and crouched next to the younger version of her sister. She wasn’t restrained. At this point, it was her second time in the Red Room. She already knew there was no escape, no point in trying.
Yelena herself wouldn’t learn that for at least a month and a half, desperately clinging to the hope that her family was going to get her out of this. Her mother, her father… her sister. It had finally clicked just how hopeless their situation was when Yelena and Natasha had ended up in the same training room by chance one day, and Natasha hadn’t glanced twice at her. Had pretended she didn’t even know who she was.
Sure, it was a coping mechanism to not get too close. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
She studied the face of her sister, watching for the exact moment the blank mask slid into place and she began to pretend she didn’t care. The exact moment that she had begun to cut off all her feelings towards Yelena.
The muzzle of a gun pressed into the back of her head.
“Who are you? What is this?”
Yelena froze at the familiar voice. Carefully, slowly, she raised her hands in surrender and stood up. The gun followed her. Both of them were too smart to think that being unarmed was a declaration of peace.
“This feels familiar,” Yelena chuckled to herself, holding back the tears pressing against her eyes as best she could. “When I saw you again for the first time in my timeline, you tried to kill me, too.”
The gun didn’t waver, but there was an undercurrent of confusion when Natasha muttered “What?”
Yelena slowly pivoted in place until her sister- the real one, the one of 2012, the one alive right now- was in front of her. “Hello, Natasha.”
Natasha’s face remained the blank mask she’d perfected so many years ago, but unfortunately for her, Yelena knew her. Could see the faint surprise flicker through her eyes, could watch it harden into resolve. “Yelena. Haven’t seen you in awhile.”
“Yes,” Yelena agreed, “not for lack of my trying.”
“Haven’t exactly been hard to find.” Natasha countered. “Not by our standards.”
“It was a bit difficult for me to look.” Yelena sighed at her sister’s furrowed brow. “Natasha. The Red Room is still active.”
Natasha’s eyes widened- just a fraction, but it spoke leagues to her surprise. “No it’s not. I killed Dreykov.”
“You thought you did, but he never was so easy to kill.”
“Well, if you’re trying to convince me to put the gun down this is not a good way to do it.”
“If I was with them, don’t you think I would’ve tried to disarm you by now?”
There was a brief moment of silence before Natasha’s weapon was finally stowed away. “Fair enough.”
“You are in the Void, by the way.” Yelena finally dropped her hands. “Since you asked.”
“The Void. The one Sentry was talking about?”
“You have met Sentry? That’s not… great.” Yelena paused, looking around the room. “But I suppose not completely unexpected, considering the circumstances.”
“And what is ‘the Void’?”
“Memories.” She said quietly, watching the door shut behind her screaming younger self once more. “Our worst, usually. The most upsetting, or depressing, or shameful.”
“Hm.” Natasha crouched by her own younger self, similarly to how Yelena had done earlier. “Is this mine or yours?”
“I’m not sure either,” she admitted.
Natasha nodded, standing again. “Mine, then. Otherwise it would follow you into the room, not me. Right?”
“That is what I was thinking.” Yelena studied her sister. “Is this you admitting this memory evokes emotions? In you, the stone cold spy? I’m shocked.”
“We wouldn’t be here if it didn’t.”
There were a few moments of silence where Natasha pointedly didn’t look at her, until Yelena rolled her eyes. “Ohhkay then.”
“How do we get out?”
“Straight to business with you, isn’t it? Usually there’s a door somewhere that can take us to the next room. We have to find Bob. He’s the only one who can put a stop to this.”
“Right.” Natasha stepped away, towards the closest door, and began trying random ones.
“So we’re not going to talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about?”
“You are so mature.”
Natasha glared at Yelena over her shoulder. “we both know the Red Room wasn’t pleasant. Why are you surprised it would be here?”
“This isn’t about the Red Room and you know it.” Yelena stormed over to her. “The Rooms let us move on faster if you actually work through your emotions on the memory, but you’re just shutting it out like you always do!”
“You don’t know anything about me.”
“I do!” Yelena threw her hands up. “I grew up with you!”
“For three years, Yelena. That’s not enough to pretend you know me!” Natasha finally turned to really face her, the carefully crafted neutral expression finally cracking into an even split between anger and despair. “We were never family, Yelena!”
“Yes we were!” Yelena’s fists were clenched. She knew she wasn’t being entirely fair- for her, this entire conversation was a rehashed concept they already worked through. A sisterhood she’d already regained, trusted in, and then lost and mourned. “We were, Natasha, you can’t deny that. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? You feel loss. Like I did.”
“I knew it was fake the entire time, you know that?” Natasha asked. “I knew where we were going when the mission ended, and I didn’t leave. Didn’t escape, by myself or with you. I could’ve gotten us out, I could’ve protected you.”
“You tried.” Yelena pointed out. “At the air field.”
“Not as hard as I should’ve.”
“But you did try. It is… hard. To leave the Red Room. They mess with your mind.” Yelena flicked her fingers by her temples demonstratively. “And you were young, I do not blame you.”
“So were you.”
“That does not make it your responsibility. If anything, it was Alexei’s.” Yelena paused, than winced. “Speaking of Alexei-”
Natasha seemed to get where that sentence was going based off her face. “No.”
“He’s here.”
“Absolutely not.”
“He has changed, Natasha.”
“I don’t think he’s capable of change.”
Yelena sighed. “You were speaking to Bob, yes? Did he tell you that we’re not from here?”
Natasha stared, dumbfounded. “You are not trying to convince me that you’re a time traveller right now.”
“I am.” Yelena persisted. “A lot… A lot has changed. He has changed.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” She huffed, turning towards the next door. “For now, let’s get out of here. I don’t want to deal with… that.” She waved towards her younger self, who was once more piecing together her own apathy.
“Sure.” Yelena nodded, joining her sister in opening doors.
The fifth door that Natasha opened led to a dark corridor, despite both of them remembering it being a supply closet. They glanced at each other, and Natasha jokingly gestured ahead in a dramatic ‘after you’ that had Yelena barking out a laugh before she began down the corridor.
And into a graveyard.
She froze. Natasha stopped behind her in time, and Yelena could feel her presence hovering over her shoulder.
Her sister’s voice came from behind her. “Everything okay?”
It took a few tries before Yelena’s response made a noise. “Yes.” She inhaled deeply, continuing forward. “I suppose you are about to see what, exactly, changed.”
The route was familiar. She still visited regularly, in her time. Cleared the plot, refreshed the flowers. Told the grave of her new friends and adventures.
And there she was, brushing fallen leaves from the headstone. This wasn’t that long ago, for Yelena, but it looked like it. This version of her straightening fallen pictures, running a careful hand over the epitaph, she looked so much younger.
“Oh…” Natasha’s voice was quieter, this time. Solemn. “Who passed?”
Yelena let out a dry laugh. “See for yourself.”
There was a pause, and a rustling sound as Natasha began to move around her to look, but before she could-
A soft, sliding whistle. High-low.
A deafening silence in reply.
Natasha, visible in Yelena’s periphery, has gone completely still. It didn’t quite look like she was breathing.
Ironic.
Yelena placed a hand on the headstone, just next her Void Self’s. “I still visit you. Every month, first Saturday.”
“I’m…?”
“Four years now.” Yelena murmured. “We reconnected in 2016, but only had two real years of being sisters. Then I… disappeared. For five years. I wasn’t quite dead, just… gone. It’s a long story.” She crossed her arms over herself in an embarrassingly vulnerable manuever. “When I got back, you were already gone.”
Natasha nodded slowly. “Maybe we’ll… get a headstart on that, in this timeline. Being sisters, I mean.”
Yelena tried for a smile. “Maybe.” She began walking away, suddenly desperate for an out. “Come on, my guess is the exit is this way.”
A pause, and then the sound of footsteps as Natasha followed.
A soft, sliding whistle broke through the air, once more. High-low.
And from behind Yelena, the answering call. Low-high.