Chapter Text
The room was lit by soft light coming through the side window. Ed lay in bed, wearing a loose hospital gown and pale, but his eyes were alive, finally alive. His arm was still receiving intravenous medication, and a monitor beeped periodically. The room was silent until the door was slowly opened.
Carrie entered first, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Sophie followed close behind, her round belly much more evident now, and her eyes were watery and hesitant.
Ed turned his head slowly when he heard the door creak. His gaze fixed on the two figures in the doorway, and he blinked a few times as if to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
"Mom…" his voice came out low, hoarse, like a breath. "Sophie…" Carrie brought her hand to her mouth, already sobbing.
"My boy…" she whispered, walking with slow, shaky steps toward her son. "You're really awake… My God, Ed… You're back with us."
She reached the bed and touched his face with both hands, as if she needed to feel his skin to believe it.
"I'm not dreaming, am I?"
"No, Mom… it's me. I'm here." Carrie let a tear fall, but smiled through it.
"You gave me the biggest scare of my life, you know? I thought I was going to lose you…"
"Sorry… I didn't mean to put you through that." She leaned her forehead against his for a moment, sighing with relief. Then she pulled back a little and looked at Sophie, motioning with her eyes for her to come closer.
Sophie walked slowly, one hand resting on her belly. She was visibly moved, tears streaming silently.
"Hi, Dad…" her voice was muffled. "I missed you so much."
Ed looked at his daughter and widened his eyes a little, surprised to see the size of her belly.
"My God… Sophie…" he smiled, albeit weakly. "You… you're huge." She laughed, crying at the same time, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
"You've been out for over a month. Your belly hasn't stopped growing for a second." Ed lifted a hand, and Sophie moved closer so he could touch her belly. With difficulty, he placed his hand there, and his eyes filled with tears.
"Is he okay? The baby… is he okay?"
"Yes, he is. Very well. He kicks so hard… sometimes I think he wants to go out and play soccer."
"My grandson…" Ed murmured, overcome with emotion. "You're so strong, Sophie. So brave. I'm so proud of you." Sophie couldn't take it anymore. She leaned over and hugged him gently, the two of them crying together.
"I thought I'd never hear you say that again, Dad…"
"And I thought I'd never be able to tell you again. But I'm here. For you. For you, your grandmother, Olivia… these babies." Carrie watched the scene with her hands on her chest, overcome with emotion.
"You look so different, Ed…" she said softly. "More… serene."
"When you've been in the dark for so long, Mom… waking up again feels like a miracle. I'm not going to waste it, I want to enjoy every second they give me." Carrie nodded, stroking his hair.
"You will, my love. And we'll be here, with you, every step of the way."
"Have they told you you're the best mother in the world?" She smiled, sniffling.
"Oh, several times. But hearing it from you is worth more." Sophie pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed, still holding her father's hand.
_______
The front door opened slowly, revealing the interior still faintly scented with the fabric softener Olivia used on her bedclothes. The afternoon sun streamed through the windows, warming the living room furniture and reflecting off the framed family photos: her, Ed, Sophie… moments frozen in time, now so distant, weeks without him. There were moments to recapture; he had lost so much.
Cragen walked in right behind her, holding a bag with some items Olivia had packed at the hospital. She took a deep breath, as if trying to absorb some of that homey atmosphere.
"It's strange…" she said, slowly taking off her coat and hanging it on the coat rack in the entryway. "This house feels so full… but at the same time, so empty without him."
Cragen looked around carefully, taking in the details: the blankets on the sofa, the cups on the coffee table, a pair of Ed's slippers still next to the armchair.
"He'll come back here, Liv. I know he will, and he'll be stronger than ever. He's awake, and now he's saying less so he'll be home!"
Olivia nodded, but didn't answer immediately. She walked around the room silently, her eyes roaming every corner as if searching for traces of him: his laughter, his voice, his presence.
She climbed the stairs slowly, Cragen close behind. She stopped in front of the room and gently pushed the door open. The bed was made, just as she'd left it before going to the hospital. One of Ed's T-shirts was thrown over the armchair. She picked it up carefully, hugging it to her chest.
"He wore this T-shirt the day before the accident," she murmured, inhaling the scent. "We watched a movie… he made me tea. We lay on the couch, and I… I fell asleep in his lap."
Cragen approached slowly, resting a hand on her shoulder.
"You love him, Liv." She nodded, tears in her eyes.
"I do. And it hurts so much that I can't do anything… just wait. Every day I wake up scared. Scared that he won't get out of that bed, and at the same time, I feel guilty for wanting to be here, away from the hospital, just for a few minutes. It feels wrong…"
"You're taking care of him. And of yourself, of the baby. It's not wrong, it's necessary." Olivia looked at him, her expression vulnerable.
"I miss him so much… the way he looks at me, his touch, his smell. And the house… the whole house feels suspended, as if it's waiting for him to come back and put everything back in place."
She walked to the dresser, pulling out drawers and sorting through some T-shirts, underwear, and socks.
"The doctor said he'll be able to wear regular clothes in a few days… I thought these would be comfortable."
Cragen watched her with a fatherly affection in his eyes, silently. Then he sat on the edge of the bed and took off his cap, rubbing his forehead.
"You know, Liv… when you told me you were with Ed, I confess it was hard to accept. We had our differences… but today, seeing how much he loves you, how much you love him… I wouldn't change a thing." Olivia stopped what she was doing, staring at him.
"Do you think he'll ever be the same again? Even after everything?"
"No one leaves something like this the same. But he'll come back with even more love to give, Liv. Because he saw how much he's loved. By you, by his daughter, by his mother… by me too, in a grumpy sort of way." He smiled. She came closer, sitting beside him on the bed, her clothes folded on her lap.
"Thank you, Dad. For being with me through all of this, for staying by my side, taking me to the hospital, holding my hand. I don't know what I would have done without you." Cragen swallowed and smiled slightly.
"You call me Dad like it's the most natural thing in the world. And it is. Because that's what you are to me, Liv. My daughter, and I'll be here, always." She rested her head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath.
"I wish this nightmare would end soon…"
"It will, and when it does, you'll have a man waiting for you with open arms and a baby in your arms. And it will all be worth it."
Olivia closed her eyes for a moment, feeling that temporary peace. After a few minutes, she got up, packed her clothes in a backpack, and went back downstairs with Cragen, pausing before leaving to look one last time at the picture frame with her and Ed on the mantelpiece.
"I'm waiting for you, Ed," she murmured. "The house is waiting for you. Come back to me soon."
And, with a heavy heart, but a little lighter, she walked out beside her father.
_____
The soft late afternoon light filtered through the blinds of the hospital room, drawing golden streaks on the white sheets. The heart monitor ticked rhythmically, almost like a peaceful background track for their long-awaited reunion. Olivia entered the room slowly, her hair still damp from the shower and her eyes calmer, but with that tenderness reserved for himself.
Ed was leaning back on the bed, his eyes already more lively, though his body still showed signs of fragility. But it was him. He was her man. His expression lit up the instant his eyes met hers.
"I think I'm dreaming again..."
"If it's a dream, it's the best one I've ever had." She took his hand in hers and kissed it gently.
"How long was I… out of it?"
"Thirty-three days. And every single one of them was hell." Ed sighed and squeezed her hand lightly.
"I'm sorry, Liv..."
"You don't have to apologize for surviving. I just… I was just so scared of losing you. They were long days. Full of uncertainty. Sometimes I couldn't even sleep properly, but you… you fought. You stayed."
"And who took care of you all this time?"
"Cragen. He lived up to his fatherhood with all the right words. He never left my side, made me hot chocolate on the nights I couldn't eat, helped me put on my shoes when I couldn't even stand up on my own from nausea. He even waited outside the bathroom for me when I threw up."
"Don Cragen taking care of you and me. I never thought I'd see the day…"
"He calls you son-in-law now."
"Well, at least I've earned some points with the father-in-law."
"And Fin was amazing too. He was the one who brought Carrie and Sophie to the hospital on the first day. And he stayed with me through the early hours when I couldn't wait for news. Everyone loves you, Ed, but you're still the IAB rat." He took a deep breath, trying to absorb it all.
"And… the baby? How are you two?" She held his hand against her belly and closed her eyes for a moment.
"He… or she… is fine. I've had a few rough days with hyperemesis and unbearable nausea, but I'm taking my medication properly now, and the baby is already moving. He's even kicking a lot when you're around." Ed smiled, delighted, feeling her warm hand on his belly and trying to imagine his son there.
"Our baby already recognizes me, then."
"Of course. You were the first one to talk to him, remember? Even before we knew everything was okay, you were telling him to stay strong." Ed swallowed, overcome with emotion.
"And you… have you been sleeping? Eating well?"
"I did what I could. There were days when everything seemed to be falling apart, but I thought about you, about everything we still have to live for. And that made me get out of bed." He reached out with effort and caressed her face with his fingertips.
"I love you, Olivia."
"I know. And I love you too, very much. That's why you won't scare me like that again, understand?"
"No more scaring. I promise."
"You've made promises before."
"But this one... this one I'll keep. Because now I have two people to live for. And I don't want to waste a single second with you." She kissed him gently, tasting the salty tears trickling down the corners of her mouth. When she pulled away, Ed was still staring at her.
"You look even more beautiful pregnant."
"Liar. I'm swollen, with dark circles under my eyes, and my spine is all crooked."
"And yet, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
She rested her head on his chest carefully, listening to the heartbeat that was now her favorite sound in the world again.
"You scared me so much, Ed."
"I know… but I'm back."
And there they stayed, silent for a few minutes, just breathing together. For the first time in weeks, Olivia felt like she could finally breathe.