Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Eddie isn't even thinking of porn when he clicks on the thumbnail. 

The man is simply beaming up at him from his iPad screen, and his smile is the most beautiful thing Eddie's ever seen. Eddie…just can't look away from it. 

He clicks. 

When the screen loads again, it's the same picture but no longer reduced to a thumbnail. The man is wearing a backwards baseball cap and a t-shirt, standing with his back to the camera, and twisting his torso to look over at them. He's flexing his bicep and he is grinning so brightly and proudly at the camera, it's contagious. 

Oh, and he's not wearing pants. 

Or underwear. 

"Oh, shit." Eddie shifts in his seat, eyes glued at the man's ass. Eddie should — Eddie should scroll back. His therapist had asked him to experiment and he's done that and now it's time to close things up and go…do some laundry. Dust some of those fake plants. Wash some dishes. Be productive. 

Except. 

Eddie may be a "baby gay" (as Josh so lovingly puts it), but he is gay . So gay. And the man is so fucking beautiful, it takes Eddie's breath away. With the most perfect ass Eddie's ever seen. 

And….well. Eddie's single. Chris is at a sleepover. He has a whole house to himself and a fully charged iPad and 33 years of porn to catch up on. He's owed something for all those years he tried to convince himself he was really, really enjoying watching regular porn.

He glances at the man's profile:

Firehose_Buck

hi, im buck ur about to watch me fuck ;)

18+ ONLY, Minors DNI

He laughs to himself softly. "Firehose Buck, huh?" What a ridiculous name. Good thing he's pretty. Eddie glances back up at the man with his gorgeous smile. Very, very pretty. "Alright, Firehose Buck, let's see what you got." 

***

Quite a lot, it seems. 

He has over a hundred videos of varying lengths, and thousands of pictures. The thumbnails are always just of his grinning face and the majority of videos are locked for non-subscribers. 

"Spoiled for choice," Eddie says, and clicks on a picture at random. Then, promptly has a heart attack. "Holy shit." 

Be normal, Eddie, Be normal. But how is he supposed to be normal, exactly? 

Not when Buck is on his back, beaming up at the camera, like there's nowhere he'd rather be than on his back on that bed, legs high up in the air, arms looped around his legs to hold them up, and a butt plug buried in his ass. 

It's remote controlled 😈 the caption below it reads. 

Well. Fuck normal. 

He scrambles for his waistband. 

Eddie doesn't last long. Once he gets his hand around himself, it's only a few minutes of staring down at Firehose_Buck before he's coming with a shout that surprises himself. Later, with his chest heaving and trying to catch his breath, he glances down at his iPad. Buck’s grinning face on his iPad is streaked with Eddie’s cum. A bit of his ass, too. God, that’s going to be something to remember…also going to be a nightmare to clean up. But that’s a problem for later. 

"Yup," Eddie says to the empty room. "I'm definitely gay." 

He looks down at the picture again. Below the caption there's another note: remember, if I make you cum, you owe me a follow! 💦😏

That's fair enough, Eddie thinks. 

He fishes for his wallet and feeling only slightly guilty, pulls out his credit card. 

Buck has several tiers of memberships. There’s the Basic one, that gives you priority access to new posts and to all videos up to three months ago; the Intermediate, that gives you access to the chat room and all videos in the archive; the Gold that gives you access to live streams (which are then uploaded as videos so everyone gets them later); the Platinum that allows you to make requests for content; and the Diamond. The Diamond that gives you a direct messaging hour once a month and a private video session every quarter. 

Fuck. A private session with Buck might kill him in the best way. 

But post-nut clarity is setting in, so as much as he respects the hustle, and as tempting as it might be to pay $1,000 a month to have what essentially seems to be video sex with Buck, Eddie can barely afford the $10 monthly payment for the Basic plan. He’s supposed to indulge himself a little, not deprive his son of his college fund. 

He selects the Basic plan, promising to start making his coffees at home to make up for it. He puts on his credit card information and hits “Confirm Payment”. 

A video pops up and Eddie is greeted with Buck’s smiling face again. 

He waves and beams and Eddie fucking melts. “Congratulations! You are my 1,000th subscriber! Thank you so much for your support, it really means so much to me. To show my appreciation, I am upgrading your membership to Diamond Level for the next year. As a Diamond member, you get access to everything from the other levels plus a free DM hour monthly and quarterly video sessions just the two of us." He licks his lips, and his eyes look delighted. "You have a lot of my videos to catch up on for now so happy watching and we’ll see each other very soon. I, for one, can’t wait.” 

Eddie stares at his screen as the video disappears and watches as his status flickers from Basic to Diamond. A message pops up in his Inbox, telling him when his first private session with Buck is scheduled and his first DM hour. There's an attachment with a guideline and consent form. 

Any violation of these guidelines or consent items will lead to automatic termination of your account. 

“Holy shit,” Eddie says. 

He glances at the calendar. Twenty-three days until he can speak with Buck. Forty-five days until he can see Buck. Holy shit. 

Chapter Text

**WATCH MY GIRLFRIEND PEG ME WITH THE BIGGEST DILDO YOU'VE EVER SEEN**

Buck is on his back. Taylor often puts Buck on his back when she fucks him. Eddie doesn't blame her. He wouldn't want to miss Buck's face when he's being fucked either. 

He's staring up at the camera with blue eyes wide and glassy, his lips bitten red and his chest rising and falling with his rapid breaths. 

Off camera, Taylor giggles meanly. "You ready to get fucked, baby?" 

Buck nods. "Please." 

Red curls cascade over his chest and then Buck's knees come into the frame. "Let's see, shall we?" 

Buck's lips fall open on an aborted groan, shoulders stiffening. 

Taylor giggles again. "Oh, look at you." Buck groans again and arches his chest up. "Your pussy's wetter than mine." 

Buck throws his head back. "Taylor, please." 

"You desperate for it, baby?"

He nods frantically. 

"You desperate for my cock?" 

He nods again. "Want your cock." 

Another laugh. "Because what you wish foooor," she sing-songs. 

And then the camera angle changes enough to show both people in Buck's bed, Buck's knees hiked up practically to his ears, hole exposed. Taylor is sitting between his legs, fingers scissoring his hole, and a giant teal-blue strap-on at her waist.  

The video is not simply click-bait. It is a huge strap on. Definitely the biggest Eddie's ever seen, even if there are some in the comments who claim to have taken much bigger.  

Taylor lines up her strap-on against Buck's hole and starts pressing in. Doesn’t slam in, but doesn’t really give him time to adjust either. Just a single smooth stroke that stretches Buck open as he gives one, long continuous moan that tells Eddie the man is halfway to finishing already. 

Taylor laughs and pulls back, before slamming—hard. Buck yells, his hand slapping on the wall above his head to steady himself. 

Eddie doesn't always like Taylor. She's too mean to Buck, in ways that he doesn't think Buck always enjoys. Goes too hard, too fast. Doesn't shower Buck with praise the way Eddie thinks the man deserves. Spends too much time bossing him around, and not enough time taking care of him. 

Still. There's no disputing that she knows how to fuck him. As she pulls back and starts thrusting, Eddie has to admire the way she gets Buck punching out senseless noises. 

When she finally wraps her tiny hand around Buck's cock, the man is basically delirious, reduced to nothing but Taylor's plaything. 

"You want to come, Buck?" 

He nods. "Please, please, please." 

"Say you're my bitch." 

"I'm your bitch." 

"Bitch in heat," She corrects. 

Buck groans. "I'm your bitch in heat." 

She giggles again and gives a cruel twist of her hand that has Buck shouting and coming all over her hand and his stomach. 

The video cuts off with her holding her hand to his mouth, telling him to lick her clean.

**P.S. SHE FUCKED ME TWICE MORE WITH THAT STRAP-ON THAT NIGHT, BUT THE CAMERA HAD RUN OUT OF BATTERY.**

**P.P.S. SUBSCRIBE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. WE MIGHT DO A REDO.**

*****

Eddie is obsessed. 

Literally, obsessed with Firehose_Buck. He thanks God every day that Chris has his own iPad and account for school, because as meticulous as he is about clearing his history each and every time he visits the site, he’s still nervous about Chris having any sort of access to it. He's even taken to hiding the iPad somewhere no one can touch it. He's probably going to have to buy another one for his day-to-day use at this point since this one is starting to get way too many positive associations to be safe for public use. But then that would mean he has a separate device for jerking off and that just feels like a new level of pathetic he's not quite ready for. 

Not that things aren't already pathetic. 

He'd never understood porn addiction. Now, he realizes it was because he had been watching the wrong kind of porn rather than any kind of virtuous characteristic on his part. He has now probably gone through all of Buck's "most viewed" videos at least a few times (each) and if he hasn't yet gotten through the full archive…well. Give him time. 

His life has dwindled to exactly four things: (1) Chris, (2) work, (3) watching Firehose_Buck in all sorts of compromising positions — even the ones where he’s having sex with women — and (4) watching Firehose_Buck in less compromising positions. 

Because here is the truly pathetic part: Eddie's not really addicted to porn. He could have dealt with that; understood it as some kind of horrifying blend of making up for lost time and his perpetual quasi-voluntary celibacy. But no. He's addicted to Buck. 

His smile. His laugh. The way he talks. The way he struts. All the faces he makes — not just his orgasm face, but all the various emotions that play across his features during the course of a video. 

Sometimes Buck films himself cooking or doing chores or just even watching TV and he posts them "just for fun". Eddie watches them as obsessively as the videos where Buck fucks his hole raw. Buck's face of concentration when measuring flour is just as breathtaking as the face he makes when he's opening himself up on three fingers. It's lovely. It's mesmerizing. It’s addicting. 

Eddie likes the cooking videos so much he even follows a few recipes. They don't turn half-bad, which is both good (his son finally getting some faith in him, yay) and bad (he has to lie to Pepa when she asks where he found the recipe, nay). 

By the time the day of their one-hour messaging session rolls around, Eddie is such a mixture of excitement and nervousness he’s about vibrating out of his skin. He can’t believe this is happening to him. He can’t believe he will get to have this in less than 12 hours. 

"Okay," Hen says, throwing up her hands and eyeing him suspiciously. "What is with you today?" 

Eddie, who hadn't realized how badly he'd been fidgeting on the couch, freezes. "Uh?" 

"You've been acting like you’re late for an appointment since you got here," Chimney says, not looking up from his phone. 

"We keeping you from something?" Bobby asks, his brow raised. His tone is light and he has an amused half-smile as he says it, so Eddie's not worried about being in any trouble. 

Still, he sits up and looks between them like a deer caught in headlights. "No, no, no. All, uh, all good." 

At once, he's fixed with three identical looks of disbelief. 

Hen scoffs. "You're gonna have to—" 

Hen is cut off by the sound of the alarm and Eddie practically jumps to his feet, running at breakneck speed. 

Saved by the fucking bell. 

"Saved by the bell!" Chimney calls out behind him. 

Eddie flips him off and keeps running. 

T minus 12 hours until he speaks with Buck. 

*****

Eddie's relief at being called away mid-interrogation lasts as long as it takes them to get to the scene. "Scene" is a generous description for what it actually is, which is a fucking wreckage. 

"Holy shit," Eddie breathes, staring at the chasm that had opened in the middle of the row of houses and the fire that was by now consuming half of the neighborhood. All around them, people screamed as they ran away from the site. 

"What the hell is that?" Chimney breathes next to him. 

"Truck carrying unknown substances blew up in the middle of rush hour. We're working on finding out what was in the truck but in the meanwhile, we need to clear as many people out as we can. Traffic control is on the way," Bobby's says, his voice a grounding force. "133 and 136 are both on route." 

"We're going to need to airlift some people out," Chim calls out, already on the move.

"They're on their way," Bobby says again. "Stay safe out there." 

Eddie gets to work. 

*****

It's hours later, when most people have been evacuated and Bobby has pulled the team back for a water break, that Eddie even remembers Buck and their plans. 

"What time is it?" he calls out, staring listlessly at the fire that just won’t seem to go out.  

"Half past five," Hen says, just as numbly. 

"Fuck," he says under his breath. He is not going to be making any appointments any time soon. 

Chimney, who'd been sitting next to him and sipping on his water, barely lifts his head. "Hm?" 

Eddie shakes his head. "Nothing. Just remembered an appointment." 

"Better cancel any plans," Hen says, "we're going to be here all night, even with the new units in." 

Eddie nods and reaches for his phone, his movements slow and heavy, his brain almost dreading having to form sentences for a stranger. But as exhausted as he is, it would be rude not to cancel — the man has a whole cancellation policy and everything for a reason. Eddie doesn't want to just leave him hanging. Especially since he’s been gifted this whole thing for free. 

Still, there's no way he's going to log on to an actual porn site in the middle of a scene to cancel the appointment the official way. That’s just — no. No. But there is a fairly innocuous messenger app he’d downloaded on his iPad for the purpose of their session tonight. It takes a minute to download the same app on his phone and another minute to add his login. 

He just hopes Buck checks it. And that it's not too weird to message him directly. 

LARanger007: Hey, Buck. Sorry to message out of the blue

LARanger007: We have a chat session scheduled for 11:30 tonight, but I'm afraid I have to cancel. Just wanted to let you know 

LARanger007: I can’t log on to the site rn to cancel properly. Hope you see this. 

He's not expecting Buck to respond so he puts his phone away but a few minutes later there is a ding of a new message. 

**Firehose_Buck entered the chat**

Firehose_Buck: hey 

Firehose_Buck: np, thanks for letting me know

A few minutes later: 

Firehose_Buck: are u sure, though? u know same-day cancellations don't get rescheduled. You'll basically lose the session. 

Eddie sighs. It's hard to feel sorry for himself when he's surrounded by such devastation, but he somehow manages anyway. 

LARanger007: I know, I understand. Trust me, I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to. I was looking forward to it all day. 

Almost all month, more like. 

Firehose_Buck: there’s 6 hours left until our apt, do you want to see if you can make it? 

Another sigh and Eddie types:

LARanger007: I’m a firefighter. Not sure if you’ve seen the news, but a truck exploded and took out half of LA with it. There’s no way I’ll be able to make it unfortunately.

Firehose_Buck: oh shit

Firehose_Buck: yeah, okay, no problem 

Firehose_Buck: stay safe

LARanger007: Thx. 

"Alright, team," Bobby calls, "we're up!" 

Eddie rolls to his feet. 

LARanger007: You're in LA too, right? Maybe try to stay off the roads today. 

Firehose_Buck: xoxo 

He puts his phone away and dives back into work. 

*****

By the time the shift from hell is over, Bobby forces each person to relinquish their car keys and call for a ride home. Eddie, tired enough from the shift and the three showers he had to take to get the grime off him that 'dead on his feet' sounds aspirational, has no problem handing over his keys. He waves off the offers from his equally exhausted colleagues for a ride, and with no wife or girlfriend to call, pulls out his phone to order an Uber. There's a message from Buck. 

**Firehose_Buck changed his name to Buck**

Buck: how did it go? 

It was sent 4 hours ago. 

Then, two hours after that: 

Buck: I’m sort of wondering if you whipped out "firefighter" just to impress me 

Buck: did u?

Eddie smiles and waits until he's safely in his Uber before he hits reply. 

LARanger007: Just on way home. 

LARanger007: Was pretty awful, but we did the best we could. We got as many people out as we could, at least.

LARanger007: what would be the point of lying to impress you

Buck doesn't respond until Eddie is already at home, puttering about in the kitchen, trying and failing to assemble the most miserable meal known to man. He's sniffing at the carton of two-day expired milk (smells fine — it's probably fine) when his phone dings. 

Buck: ouch 

Eddie winces. 

LARanger007: i mean of course i want to impress you

LARanger007: I just didn’t think I could 

LARanger007: impress you, I mean 

LARanger007: or that being a firefighter would be something that would impress you so it wouldn't even occur to me to lie about it 

Another pause, and Eddie has enough time to pour the questionable milk and start looking around the cupboards for some kind of cereal to pair it with. With a silent apology to his son, he grabs the box of Chris's Cap'n Crunch and dumps it into his bowl. 

Buck: id be pretty impressed if it were true. 

Buck: not much sexier than a firefighter 

Eddie's eyebrows shoot up and he gives a huff of laughter. Is this guy for real? Absently putting the box of cereal back in the cupboard, he grins at his phone. 

LARanger007: Well in that case

Being hungry and tired, bolstered by adrenaline, somehow seems to give Eddie the same lightheadedness as being tipsy, because before he knows it he's reaching for his bag and pulling out his badge. At least he has enough presence of mind to slap his hand over any identifying information before he snaps a picture and hits "send". 

LARanger007: proof enough? 

Buck: eh. could have stolen that off of literally anyone. 

Eddie laughs again and takes a heaping spoonful of his cereal. He's beaming at his phone, he knows, as he chews on his food. He's been starving, but he doesn't even register anything other than Buck's messages.

Buck: but ill accept it. 

Buck: thank u for ur service. 

The next thing Eddie knows, there's a picture in the chat and Eddie chokes. Trips. Nearly brains himself on the cupboard door. 

He stumbles back and glares at the cupboard door. "Jesus, where did that—" He'd forgotten to shut it when he'd put the cereal away. Maybe Shannon had a point about him never closing cabinet doors. Maybe he'll text her with an overdue apology.  

He glances down and his phone again and stumbles again, milk sloshing over the side of his bowl. 

"For fuck's—" He stops and closes his eyes, takes a deep, slow breath and tries to get himself together. Carefully, definitively, he shuts the cupboard door — glaring at it the whole time — and most importantly, he puts the bowl of cereal down and sits down. 

Then — and only then — does he risk looking at his phone again. 

Where Buck is lying down on his bed, naked except for a turnout coat and a fire helmet strategically placed over his crotch. 

LARanger007: fuck 

Buck: like it? 

LARanger007: of course 

Buck: do you feel "thanked" enough? 

Eddie lets his eyes roam hungrily over the photo. Compared to Buck's archive of pictures/videos, this is honestly fairly tame. It's not even a nude, just a suggestive picture. But this is for him. Sent to him deliberately. Specifically. Just for Eddie. 

LARanger007: definitely  

Buck: do you think it could get you hard? 

Eddie laughs. Any other day, a picture of Buck like that, giving the camera that arrogant, beaming smile, probably would have gotten him hard. 

Not today, though. 

Even the allure of Buck isn't enough to stop the exhaustion settling in his bones. 

LARanger007: Not a chance. 

LARanger007: I’m too exhausted to get it up right now. 

He bites his lips. Debates sending the next message before deciding fuck it — they've already crossed lines he's never normally crossed before with a stranger. But what about this whole thing is normal?

LARanger007: But I’m *really* looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning. 

Buck: Ha

Buck: Happy to be of service in advance, then. 

Oh, he will definitely be 'of service' indeed. 

A yawn interrupts his thoughts, exhaustion rippling through him. He doesn't want to stop talking to Buck, but he might fall asleep with his head in his cereal bowl if he keeps going much longer. 

LARanger007: i should head to bed 

Buck: the sooner you go to bed, the sooner you can enjoy yourself in the morning 

Eddie laughs. 

LARanger007: exactly 

Buck: have a good night. 

LARanger007: Goodnight. Thank you for checking in 

LARanger007: And the picture. 

Buck: hey, least I can do. 

Buck: dream of me ;) 

Eddie doesn't tell him that he very often does.

Chapter Text

In the morning, the first thing Eddie does is text Tia Pepa to check in with Chris and arrange a pick-up time. 

The second thing he does is speak with Chris and reassure him he's okay and that, yes, they can go to the zoo, and no, he hasn't touched Chris's Cap’n Cruch (then makes a note to buy more). 

The third thing he does is confirm all of Chris's appointments for the week. 

The fourth thing he does is check what time the zoo opens. It's the last place he wants to go today, honestly. His body feels sluggish and every muscle protests any sort of movement and he just wants to laze in bed all day and zoo with a child is the absolute opposite of that. But he wants to spend time with his baby, doing things Chris loves, creating happy memories for him, more than he needs to rest. So, that's what he's going to do.  

But the fifth thing — the fifth thing he does, is open his chat with Buck. 

There's already a message waiting for him. 

Buck: Log on to my site when you get the chance. 

Buck: There's another surprise for you there ;) 

"Fuck." Eddie breathes, and though he promises to come back for Buck's picture later, he dives for his iPad and wastes no time in logging on. 

The latest video is labelled: ***A THANK YOU TO LA'S BRAVEST** 

Eddie swallows and clicks on the video. Buck is lying in the exact position he'd been in the picture he'd sent to Eddie, turnout coat and helmet and all. 

"Hi Bucksters!" Buck grins. "As you all might be aware, LA, where I live, is going through another one of our infamous disasters. Thankfully, there are a lot of firefighters and first responders around who are ready to help us all, including some of my amazing viewers. As a thank you, I wanted to dedicate this video to the LA firefighters who are out there keeping us safe." 

He then proceeds, in the next fifteen minutes, to do some absolutely filthy, dare Eddie say it, borderline illegal things to that helmet. By the time the video is over and Eddie is lying in his bed, panting and spent, he is half afraid he won't be able to look at his own gear ever again without popping a boner. 

He goes back to their messages. 

LARanger007: I think that video broke me. 

Buck: ❤️

Buck: all for you ;) 

Buck: did you manage to get it up this time 

Eddie looks at the mess he's just made of his sheets and scoffs. 

LARanger007: oh yeah 

LARanger007: another happy customer 

Buck: oh? Can i rely on a good yelp review 

LARanger007: well….

Buck: !!!!!

LARanger007: you lose some points for what you did to that poor helmet 

LARanger007: and then you didn’t even clean it up! 

LARanger007: firehouse equipment must be pristine at all times 

Buck: oh yeah? 

Buck: next time I’ll remember to clean it off 

Buck: lick it all off with my tongue. 

"Jesus fuck," Eddie breathes. 

LARanger007: jesus fuck 

Buck: 🤣🤣🤣

LARanger007: you’re dangerous 

Buck: you love it 

He's not wrong 

Buck: that's honestly a really good idea for next time

Buck: thx 

Eddie answers back a little numbly. 

LARanger007: No problem. Anytime. 

Buck: enjoy the rest of your day, handsome. 

LARanger007: You too. 

*****

Eddie means to delete the messenger from his phone. Really, he has every intention to delete it. He’s never risking having anything slightly inappropriate on something Chris might access. But once he ends the chat with Buck, he has to run to the store to replenish Chris's cereal, then rush to pick him up from Pepa's so he’d be on time, and then they’re off to the zoo. It's both as exhausting and as rejuvenating as he thought it would be. His movements may be a little slower than usual, his smile a little tired, as he follows Chris around from exhibit to exhibit, but all he needs is Chris's squeal of joy, or his "dad, look!" to feel like he could bench press a thousand. 

So he's not really thinking of Buck or the messenger app that he needs to delete — doesn't expect that he'll even hear from Buck anytime soon — when they finally get home that evening, Eddie carrying Chris's sleeping form to his bed and tucking him in. He might have fed his son corn dogs and ice cream for dinner, but he has a polaroid of the two of them laughing next to giraffes in his pocket, and a happy son under his roof, so it's a net win in his books. 

He's cleaning the living room and deciding the best place for their polaroid when his phone goes off in quick succession. 

He fishes his phone out of his back pocket and frowns. 

Buck had messaged him earlier in the day, which Eddie had missed entirely. 

Buck: hey 

Buck: so 

Buck: i have a question to ask you

And now: 

Buck: oh shit 

Buck: oh shit i have two questions for you

Buck: you’re a firefighter, right? 

Buck: what do you do in case of a kitchen fire 

Buck: I read somewhere you're not supposed to put water on it 

Buck: right? 

Buck: right?

Buck: or am I supposed to put water on it 

Buck: is water better than nothing? 

Buck: fucck 

Buck: smoke alarms going off 

Buck: theyre going to call firefighters bc of me

Buck: what do I do? 

Buck: help me! 

Eddie stares at the message for a split second before a switch flips and he goes immediately into first responder mode.

LARanger007: I'm here 

LARanger007: don't panic

Might be a bit late for that, he could feel the panic through the texts. 

LARanger007: it'll be fine

LARanger007: how big is the fire?

A picture comes through, of a big pot over a stove, and flames engulfing it. 

LARanger007: take a lid that's big enough to cover the whole thing and slide it over slowly

LARanger007: then let it sit 

Buck: okay done

Buck: now what?

LARanger007: Do you have a fire extinguisher?

Buck: NO

Buck: WE WOILDNT BE HERE RIGHT NOW IF I DID

LARanger007: okay, that's okay. It's not always safe to use, anyway

LARanger007: how about baking soda?

Buck: yah 

Buck: but 

Buck: not exactly in mood to be baking you a cake rn

LARanger007: it helps put out the fire

LARanger007: hopefully the lid smothers it, but if it doesn't, try covering it entirely in baking soda and if none of those things work or it spreads, call 911 and get out of there 

Buck: oh okay 

Buck: i think the lid might have stopped it

LARanger007: give it a few more minutes and then you can check, though you're probably right

A few minutes later, his phone dings again and there's a picture of the inside of a pot that's seen better days, but also, no fire. 

Buck: it's out 

Buck: holy shit

Buck: it worked

Eddie smiles. 

LARanger007: good, that's good

Buck: tysm

LARanger007: of course

Buck: seriously idk how to thank you. I almost pissed myself.

LARanger007: can you check if there's no damage to the stove or anywhere else in the kitchen? 

Buck: yeah sure 

A few seconds pass.

Buck: all good

A few more photos of Buck's kitchen come through. There's some soot but nothing to cause concern. 

Buck: right? 

LARanger007: Looks okay from what I can see

Buck: i might be the only casualty

He stops and frowns at his phone.  

LARanger007: Did you get hurt? 

Buck: burned my hand a little bit 

Buck: but mostly just my pride 

Buck: i'm so embarrassed

LARanger007: Don't be, it happens 

Buck: I can't believe how much I panicked

Buck: I'm literally still shaking rn

LARanger007: are you standing up right now? 

Buck: yeah? 

LARanger007: is there somewhere you can sit

Buck: im in the kitchen, Jay. There's a lot of places to sit. 

LARanger007: Well then can you pick one of those places and sit down? 

Buck: okay, done 

LARanger007: Good job

Buck: all I did was sit down, Jay

That's the second time Buck's called him Jay, which is concerning, but he's going to put a pin in worrying about a potential psychotic break for now, and focus on Buck's physical health first. 

LARanger007: well you still did a good job

LARanger007: How are you feeling? 

Buck: you don't need to do this, it was just a small kitchen fire

Buck: bet you handle a lot worse than that on a daily basis

Buck: i'm fine 

LARanger007: I'm a firefighter. I deal with a lot of things daily that you shouldn't have to. 

LARanger007: and I'm trained for it. 

LARanger007: first time I dealt with a kitchen fire, I cried

Buck: really? 

LARanger007: yes, absolutely 

There’s a long pause, and then: 

Buck: Jay? 

Still bewildered at the name, Eddie shakes his head at the phone. Buck doesn't seem to be in shock, so Eddie can't tell where the name is supposed to come from. 

LARanger007: yeah? 

Buck: were u a child when you dealt with your first kitchen fire?

Eddie huffs a laugh. 

LARanger007: ….you got me 

Buck: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Buck: Look, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better

Buck: but im fine really 

Buck: just got in my head for a bit 

Buck: like if I couldn't fix the fire and they had to call firefighters over

Buck: that's really embarrassing 

Buck: and just my luck my future brother-in-law might show up

Buck: and what if the fire got out of control, you know, and we had to evacuate

Buck: Letty across the hall is 80 years old with a bad hip, she can't climb down all these stairs 

Buck: and the Spencers have three kids under five and like two puppies and a cat

Buck: and a parrot I think 

Jesus, really? Eddie can barely handle one child over five. 

Buck: what if they didn't get them out in time 

LARanger007: Hey, stop

LARanger007: None of that happened

LARanger007: You're fine 

LARanger007: You did a great job stopping the fire

LARanger007: And everything's okay

LARanger007: Letty and the Spencers and their menagerie of kids and animals are all fine

LARanger007: Now, have you eaten anything? 

Buck: you saw what happened to my dinner 

LARanger007: Okay, do you have anything you can grab? Some cheese and crackers, even?

Buck: Yeah I can probably find something

LARanger007: Great. Get some food in you and grab some juice or soda while you're at it

Buck: aye, aye

LARanger007: when and ONLY when the burnt food has fully cooled down, you can throw it away

Buck: kk

LARanger007: it has to be fully cold, okay? Not a minute before then.

Buck: lol Yes, sir! Understood, sir! 

Brat, Eddie thinks to himself with a fond smile. 

Buck: 🤣

Buck: thanks again

LARanger007: Of course

LARanger007: Let me know if you need me 

Eddie goes about the rest of his evening chores — cleaning and wiping things down and making sure Chris has everything he needs for the next day. He flicks on the television and tries to watch something, then gives up the third time he nods off, deciding that, yes, actually, he's a grown up and can go to bed as early as he'd like. 

He's brushing his teeth when his phone dings again. 

Buck: hey 

Buck: Jay

Buck: I forgot to ask you my first question

He pauses in his brushing, toothbrush hovering in midair. 

LARanger007: Yes?

Buck: are you working tomorrow

LARanger007: ??

LARanger007: No. I'm off for the rest of the week, why? 

Buck: oh even better 

Buck: want to reschedule our hour for Friday, then? 

LARanger007: Thought these weren’t reschedulable if you cancelled too late 

Buck: I’m willing to make an exception for LA’s bravest 

Buck: and now you saved my ass so i actually owe you 

Buck: Friday at noon okay?

Buck:  I can thank you properly, then

LARanger007: You don't need to thank me

LARanger007: But Yes. If you’re sure. 

Buck: I’m sure.

Eddie finishes brushing his teeth and rinsing out his mouth. He's about to bid Buck goodnight, when something occurs to him. 

LARanger007: hey

LARanger007: Can i ask a question of my own? 

Buck: shoot 

LARanger007:  why do you keep calling me Jay? 

Buck: Wasn't sure if you should be James or Jane or something more neutral 

LARanger007: That doesn’t explain anything 

Buck: because of the 007 

LARanger007: what are you talking about 

Buck: 007

Buck: James

Buck: JAMES BOND

"Oh," Eddie says, huffing a laugh at his screen. Damn Josh. 

Buck: i can’t tell your preferred pronouns  so I went with JAY to cover all my bases

Buck: Jay Bond

LARanger007: Okay, makes sense

Buck: Is that why you picked 007?

LARanger007: lol no 

LARanger007: i didn’t even make my own profile 

LARanger007: a very nosy, no-boundary accepting co-worker-adjacent person decided to make it for me 

Buck: that's a nice friend 

Buck: most people make Grindr or hinge

LARanger007: he made those too lol

LARanger007: and friend is a stretch

LARanger007: More like a frenemie

Eddie had vetoed like a million usernames ("Eight-Pack Diaz", notably) before they had compromised on this one. 

Buck: And he decided to call you 007?

LARanger007: it stands for something else 

Josh had wanted to use "118" citing that it would be just as prosaic as Eddie is, but Eddie — still far too suspicious about the internet — had thought that was too much information so Josh had taken 1 away from each digit. 

Buck: alright, keep your secrets. 

Buck: Can i at least ask your preferred pronouns and which one i should use between James/Jane/Jay 

Buck: your profile literally gives nothing

LARanger007: Yes, that's intentional

LARanger007: cis man; he/him; James 

LARanger007: which isn't even close to my actual name

Buck: can i still use it? 

LARanger007: if you want. Or you can use my actual name

Buck: i don't want to pressure you into giving me your actual name 

LARanger007: It's fine. My name is Eddie 

Buck: short for Edward? 

LARanger007: Short for none of your business 

Buck: lol fair enough

Buck: It's nice to meet you, Eddie

LARanger007: lol you too

LARanger007: I'm passing out though

Buck: wow, how old are you lol

LARanger007: Had an exhausting 24 hours

Buck: yeah, okay, fair 

Buck: have a goodnight 

Buck: Talk to you on Friday

Eddie's about to bid him a final goodnight, when he pauses and instead says:

LARanger007: You should head to bed too, you had a rough evening

Buck: but it's so early!

LARanger007: it'll help to get some rest

Buck: :( 

Buck: :( 

Buck: :( 

LARanger007: 🤨

Buck: k 

Buck: i will

Buck: goodnight then 

 LARanger007: goodnight

Buck: Dream of me, handsome ;) 

I will, Eddie thinks and puts his phone away.