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It had been about a week or two after the final war. Class 1a had spent these weeks helping and rebuilding the city, step by step. It was nowhere near ready to be living in yet, but it was getting there. They hadn't been wearing themselves out too much though. After their outstanding help in the final war, Aizawa insisted they took these weeks to rest as much as they can. As one can probably imagine, this was tougher than it sounded. Many students were left with not only physical injuries, they were traumatized. They were in no sense mentally prepared for how the war was going to go.
Of course, all students had hoped the war would've gone better than it went. But there were only a certain amount that were trying to cope with deep guilt and regret. Izuku Midoriya was one of those pupils. Allmight had been trying to get him to talk about his trauma, but Izuku being the selfless person he is, would brush it off like what he went through was nothing. Today was no different.
“Midoriya…Do you think you are ready to talk about it today?”, Allmight said as he poured hot chocolate into Izuku's cup. These little “catching up” moments have became more often since the war. Both Allmight and Aizawa had been trying to talk to Izuku about what has been going on. Even Principal Nezu had pulled him in his office for a chat. Izuku barely spoke a word though. It wasn't like he was trying to hide something from them, he just had a hard time being open about his trauma.
Izuku stayed silent for a moment. He thought for a moment, deciding on what to share with Allmight.
“...I'm not suggesting you tell me everything that's been going on, you understand that, right? We'll start little. Have you…been having trouble sleeping?”, Allmight added, not wanting to pressure him into talking.
“I…I have not, really. I think i could have truly used the time to rest.” was the sentence Izuku finally started with. It wasn't the honest truth, unfortunately.
Allmight sighed. He knew he'd say something like that.
“Kid…I don't want to look like I'm calling you out for lying, but…Are you sure? It's almost impossible that something like this hasn't affected you even just one bit. You're just a kid. You don't have to carry all this weight on your shoulders.”
Another silence fell upon them. There was no answer from Izuku for a short moment, so Allmight decided to continue.
“...What about young Bakugo? As expected, he hasn't been opening up either to me or Aizawa. I was wondering if you had been talking to him about the war?”
To the mention of Bakugou, Izuku tensed up. How was that even a question? Him and Bakugo had been doing nothing but talking about it. There was nothing else on their minds.
“...I don't think he'd want me to share what he's feeling if he didn't tell you.”
Allmight nodded understandingly. He checked the time. Ten pm. He had been trying to hold Izuku to a sleep schedule, so that he could make sure he was getting enough sleep. For example, if he happened to have a PTSD episode or nightmare in the middle of the night, then he'd still be able to sleep afterwards. So far, there haven't been any of those incidents at night. Allmight was worried Izuku was hiding his suffering from him.
“I think it's about time you head to bed. You look exhausted, and I need you to rest as much as you can. You need it.”, Allmight said. He stood up, and so did Izuku.
“...You're right, Allmight. I’ll head back to the dorms. Goodnight."
“Goodnight, young Midoriya."
Chapter two
Two am. Izuku was uncomfortably stirring around in his bed. He was experiencing a nightmare, and currently trying to figure out how to get out of it. His nightmare was filled with bad thoughts about the war. Shigaraki, Bakugou on the ground, etcetera. These kinds of nightmares had been getting more and more constant. He hasn't been talking to anyone about it. Not even Bakugo, but he was planning to tell him soon. Suddenly, in his nightmare, he turned around to shigaraki, launching a fist at him. This scared him enough to jolt awake. He let out a short gasp as he shot his arm out, Black Whip reaching out of the palm of his hand. There was a moment of silence before he realized he had awakened. There was a slight shiver that travelled through his spine. Suddenly, a thought popped up in his head. Without hesitation, he climbed out of his bed and walked out of his bedroom, clutching his pillow.
Katsuki had been sleeping surprisingly peacefully tonight. Obviously, the thoughts about the war never left his mind, but it could definitely be worse. His sleep was very quickly disturbed by a knock on his dorm’s door. He could only guess who it could be. He groaned as he sat up on his bed, his chest aching.
“I know it's you, Izuku. Come inside already.”
The door slowly creaked open, and Izuku was standing there, his body trembling and his head low. Katsuki’s eyes inmiddiately softened. He already knew why he came here, from the way he knocked on his door to how he had wet strands of his green hair sticking to his forehead. Another nightmare.
“...Another nightmare?”
Izuku nodded almost instantly.
“Okay, come over then. Why are you still standing there?”, Katsuki said gruffly, yet there was a slight difference in his tone than there usually was. It was…Softer.
Izuku walked over to him without complaint, sagging onto the end of the bed. He sat cross-legged, facing towards Katsuki.
It was silent for a moment, both waiting for the other to start with something. When it got too silent for Katsuki’s liking, he spoke up.
“You know, keeping silent won't help anyone, and it sure as hell won't help you. Allmight told me how you're not opening up to anyone.”
“I know that.”
“So why won't you? You fought All For One, but you can't be arsed to talk about it? Give me a break.”
Izuku flinched slightly at his harsh tone. He knew he wasn't lying though, there was no denying that he had been avoiding the subject too much.
Katsuki noticed his flinch, and guilt gnawed in his chest. He never meant to be harsh, and he had been trying to go softer on Izuku after everything that happened. It was the least he could do, he thought.
“...That's my bad. I just don't want you to bottle everything up because you don't want to burden anybody with your problems. Do you want to talk about what happened in the nightmare? I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
Izuku thought for a moment, trying to rethink what he saw in his nightmare. Just by talking to Katsuki, he had already calmed down slightly.
“That moment when I arrived.”
Katsuki didn't stiffen, or even flinch. It had been a repetitive image for Izuku, when he saw Katsuki, dead on the ground. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't having his own troubles with that. He hasn't, and isn't planning to, tell anyone what he said before his heart was ripped out.
“...Damn nerd. Did i not tell you not to think about that anymore? It's messing with your head. I'm here, I'm alive and I am not gone.”
There was silence again.
“It all…felt so real. Like that was the end. I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't wake up.”
“How did you wake up?”
“Shigaraki, he was about to punch me and I woke up.”
“Not that, idiot. I'm asking if you had a panic attack before you got here.”
“No, no I didn't.”
Izuku looked like he was on the verge of tears. A slight tremble on his lips, the way he looked down at the mattress, fiddling with Katsuki's blanket. He noticed it all. He immediately moved a little to the side of his bed, giving space for Izuku to sit next to him.
“Come.”
Izuku was by his side in no time. He was curled up, trying to hold it all in.
“...You don't need to hold anything in for me. Cry, scream, destroy something for all I care. I don't care if I am your go-to person for crap like this or not. All I fucking care about is you.”
The first tear fell, then another, and another. Katsuki grabbed the side of Izuku's head, tangling his fingers in between the boys fluffy green hair and pulling him closer to his chest.
“Do you hear that? My heart?”
Izuku listened carefully, going completely quiet as he listened to the soft thump of his heart.
thump. thump. thump.
He felt his body slowly ease as he kept listening to his heartbeat. It was keeping him grounded.
“...I know you are afraid. I know you think that Shigaraki will somehow come back for you. But even if he does, he won't lay a fingertip on you. Not anymore. Not while my heart is still beating. From now on, I am going to take it upon me to protect you till death do us part. I won't let any villains get to you. Not when you are slowly losing possession of One For All. That shit is just simply unfair. You're safe, as long as you stick with me, and the rest of class 1a.”
Katsuki didn't get an answer, and worry clenched onto his chest. Did he pass out? Hit his head against the headboard?
He then looked over, and noticed that Izuku was sound asleep. That stupid idiot probably didn't hear a word of what he said just now. That's fine, though. It was more an oath than simple reassurance. Anyone hurting Izuku now would feel like they were hurting him when he was still a kid, without a quirk. He couldn't let that happen, no, he wouldn't.
“Goodnight, Izuku. Thank you. You made me the person I am today.