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Subtlety is not Buck’s forte — it’s not even in his repertoire.

Eddie knows this. Buck does not. 

“So,” Buck starts, subtle, after months of glaring and scoffing in Eddie’s general direction. “You and Hen seem pretty close.” 

Eddie almost snorts, but he doesn’t. He holds it in — hides his amusement behind a sip of his beer.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “We make a good team.” 

Buck flinches. “That’s great,” he says. Buck hasn’t touched his beer. He walked through Eddie’s front door, sat weirdly upright on Eddie’s couch, and pretended to watch a basketball game he has zero interest in. “That’s great.” 

“Mhm.” 

“And you’re hanging out after work, too,” he adds, subtle. He picks up his beer and starts picking at the label. “Watching documentaries.” 

It’s endearing, unfortunately. Eddie is entirely endeared. 

He’s also a fully grown man, so he’s refusing to engage. “Yep. Took the kids.” 

“Right,” Buck nods. Tiny bits of the label scatter onto his knees as he picks at it intently. “Great. That’s great. Sounds great.” 

“It was,” Eddie agrees. 

And here’s the thing: Eddie has a teenage son. He gets glared and grunted at from sunrise to sunset. Cupboards get slammed, eyes get rolled, and brows get raised. Through sheer grit and determination, he is fostering an environment where passive aggression and grunting are simply not engaged with. This is a house of healthy, open communication. This will be a house of healthy, open communication if it is the last fucking thing he ever does. 

As such, he’s modeling the behavior. The house of healthy, open communication applies to all who exist within it. So, although he already knows the answer, he models the behavior. He takes in Buck, who is very much not okay, and asks: “Are you okay?” 

“I’m great!” Buck lies, squeezing the beer bottle. “Everything’s great.” 

“Great!” Eddie offers. He turns his attention back to the game for approximately 30 seconds. 

“Do you guys do things together often?” 

“Sometimes,” he confirms. “We’re friends.” 

“Right,” Buck nods. “Friends.” 

Eddie tries to fight a smile. He lets himself engage just a little. “I do have those, you know.” 

“I know,” Buck says, defensive. He keeps his eyes trained on the TV, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. The beer label confetti lands on Eddie’s floor.

Eddie sighs. Somehow, this is easier with a scary 14-year-old. He decides to try modeling the behavior harder — he will address the issue with healthy, clear communication. “You’re still my best friend,” he offers. A healthy communication olive branch. 

Buck snaps his head towards him. “Yeah?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “You know you are.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure,” Buck notes, indignant. “I didn’t get an invite to the exclusive documentary event of the year.” 

That counts, he thinks. It’s not a grunt or a glare. It’s a little passive-aggressive, but they’re using words and talking about it. He’s taking it as a win. 

“I’m allowed to do things without you,” Eddie reminds him. 

Buck pouts. “I love doing things,” he whines. 

“We’re doing something right now.” 

“Yeah, but you two keep giggling,” Buck groans. “It’s - - it’s rude.” 

“It’s rude?” Eddie smiles. 

“Yes,” Buck insists. “Inside jokes are rude. They make people feel excluded.” 

“People?” Eddie asks. “Or you?” 

“Me!” Buck groans. “I’m your best friend.” 

Eddie chuckles. “I know. I just said that.” 

“What if you like Hen more than me?” 

“There’s not really a ranking system.” 

“Eddie!” 

Eddie reaches over for the remote and mutes the game. “You are my best friend, Buck. My number one bud. My BFFFFFFL.” 

Buck considers this. “What do the extra Fs mean?” 

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “I just thought they’d make you feel better.” 

Buck huffs. “You can’t replace me.” 

“I’m not going to.” 

“You know I love documentaries!” 

Eddie sighs. “You had plans with Maddie. And Hen makes fun of me when I invite you everywhere we go.” 

Buck’s eyes narrow. 

“How do you know I had plans?” 

“Because it was on our shared calendar, which we have because we’re best friends.” 

“Oh.” 

“Oh,” Eddie mimics. 

“So you don’t like Hen more than me?” 

“Buck,” Eddie sighs. 

“It’s a simple question.” 

“Are we in middle school?” 

“I just think it would be an easy answer if I were your best friend.” 

Eddie can model the behavior. Eddie can model the behavior. Eddie is capable of the behavior and, as such, he can model it. 

“As I’ve said five times now, you are my best friend. In the entire universe, for the rest of time. If you could get best friend married, I’d best friend marry you, okay? Can you please chill out?” 

Buck blinks. “You’d best friend marry me?” 

Eddie groans. “Are you only hearing every second word I say?” 

“We should - - we should do that. That’s - - Eddie, we should do that.”

Eddie blinks. “Do what?” 

“Get best friend married!” Buck says, eyes wild. “Who says you have to be romantic married? Think about it! People do that!” He insists. “Y’know, like, life partners. We would be partners forever.” 

Eddie gapes at him. Buck beams back like he’s just solved all the problems of the world. “You want to get married…platonically.” 

“Yes!” Buck grins. “We already have a shared calendar! It’d be easy.” 

“It’d be easy?” 

“So easy!” 

“To get platonically married.” 

“Exactly.” 

“To each other.” 

“It’s perfect, right?” 

Eddie’s heart is racing, for some reason. Probably because his best friend just proposed platonic marriage to him because he went to the movies with someone else. The books about fostering an environment of healthy, open communication within a household do not mention what to do when this happens. 

He doesn’t really know where to begin. 

“And what - - what happens when we want to non-platonically marry someone else?” Is the first of many problems his brain can put into words. 

Buck frowns. He looks genuinely perplexed. “Why would we need to do that?” 

Eddie raises his brows at him. 

Buck frowns back. 

They look at each other. They hold confused eye contact for one, two, three loaded moments, and then Buck blinks. 

Buck blinks, then his eyes widen almost comically with something that makes Eddie’s stomach swoop. 

Unfortunately, Eddie is fluent in Buck. He watches as Buck watches him realize he’s realized he’s realized something neither of them, until this moment, had realized. 

Buck blinks again. He opens his mouth, then shuts it. He swallows. “Oh,” Buck breathes. Eddie doesn’t know what to do. Buck stands like he’s begging the ground to swallow him. “Oh. I need to leave.”

“Buck,” Eddie tries, because he doesn’t know what to say, but it’s Buck. 

Buck takes a stumbling step away from Eddie. 

This is the opposite of healthy, clear communication. This is not what he wants. 

“I forgot…my car. In my car. I forgot my keys in my car. My house keys. I think I left the oven on.” 

“Buck,” Eddie begs. He’s not sure what he’s asking for, he just doesn’t want him to leave like this. 

But it doesn’t matter. Buck stumbles backward, running into the wall and knocking a picture frame crooked as he flees out the front door, the echo of it the loudest thing Eddie has ever heard. 

Oh dear. Oh no. Buck is in love with Eddie. 

Buck proposed platonic marriage to Eddie, very non-platonically. 

He didn’t even mean to. 

He didn’t even know. 

He needs - - he needs to talk to someone. 

He needs to talk to someone who won’t call him a fucking idiot for not knowing he wanted to marry his best friend in a very non-platonic way.

He needs to talk to someone who won’t tell him that everything will be fine, because everything will not be fine. Everyone was right. Everything is fucked. 

Somehow, he remembers how to operate a vehicle. He drives that vehicle through familiar streets, reminding himself that it’s essential to breathe every so often, so as not to crash. He doesn’t crash the car, but he does crash through a front door, past a confused Chimney, and onto the floor of his nephew’s nursery. 

There, he proceeds to crash harder than anyone has ever crashed before. 

“And he looked at me, and I was like, oh. You know when everything just clicks at the worst possible moment? I’d just been like Hey, Eddie, let’s get married! And then after that, I thought, huh. I actually might be in love with him.” 

Baby Bobby gurgles. 

“Exactly,” Buck agrees. “So I’m standing there, panicking, and then I just flee. But I’m pretty sure he knows. He definitely knows. Your mom knows, too. And Tommy. I didn’t know, though. Did you know?” He looks up at Baby Bobby. 

Baby Bobby is chewing on his giraffe, drooling. 

“Maybe I should’ve known,” he continues. “But it’s very confusing when you don’t even know you’re bi until you’re 32, because I thought that was just what it felt like to have a best friend. I’d never really had one before, y’know? And I mean, he does have a great tooshie. I thought everyone was looking at it. That doesn’t really seem like a fair test, right?” 

Baby Bobby gurgles in what Buck can only assume is agreement. 

“I knew you’d understand. No one else does. They’re all like ‘it wouldn’t be so crazy’,” he scoffs. “And sure!! Okay!! Maybe it wouldn’t be. Maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m hopelessly, mortifyingly in love with Eddie. Great! Is everyone happy now? I was wrong, and they were right, and I’m destined to be alone forever. Just you and me, Baby Bobby.” 

Baby Bobby giggles and drools. 

Buck knew he’d get it. 

Eddie had assumed, when Buck had said he’d been talking to someone, he might have been referring to a therapist, or even Maddie. He hadn’t considered, until he found Maddie and Chim crowded around the baby monitor like it was the finale of The Bachelor, that it might be someone else. 

“Uncle Eddie is here!” Jee announces, skipping back over to her box of dress-ups. She’d opened the door when he knocked. 

Two pairs of panicked eyes snap to him as a voice he’d recognize anywhere flows through the monitor in front of them. 

“They’re all like ‘it wouldn’t be so crazy’,” Buck scoffs. Even from where he’s standing, and with Chim’s flailing arms, he can see that Buck is lying on the rug in the baby’s room. 

“And sure!! Okay!! Maybe it wouldn’t be. Maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m hopelessly, mortifyingly in love with Eddie,” Buck says. 

Chimney’s hand slaps over his mouth. Maddie launches herself at the monitor. She presses a button that seems like the wrong button. It gets louder. 

“Great! Is everyone happy now? I was wrong, and they were right, and I’m destined to be alone forever. Just you and me, Baby Bobby.” 

Maddie hits the right button this time, and the microphone clicks on. “Buck,” Maddie says, panicked. She makes direct, wide-eyed eye contact with Eddie. “Eddie is here.” 

There’s a pause. Everyone can very clearly see Buck freeze. 

Baby Bobby hears his mom’s voice. He giggles and claps his hands. 

Buck seems to be testing the theory that perhaps if he just stays very still, no one will be able to see him. 

Eddie sighs. He holds a hand out for the monitor. Maddie looks at Buck through the monitor, then back at Eddie. She’s looking for something, Eddie’s not sure what it is, but she seems to find it. She hands it to him. 

“Hey,” Eddie says, pressing the microphone button. “Uh. You wanna go outside and talk?” 

He watches through the monitor as Buck dramatically rolls and faceplants into the rug.

“Baby Bobby, can you please tell Uncle Eddie that I very much do not want to do that at all?” He says into the rug. “Thank you.” 

Baby Bobby giggles with delight at his uncle’s performance. 

Eddie sighs. He holds down the speaker button. 

“Baby Bobby, could you please tell Uncle Buck that Uncle Eddie doesn’t really want to have this conversation in front of your parents and your four-year-old sister.” 

“Baby Bob- -” Buck starts. 

“Okay!” Chimney interrupts. “Leave my innocent child out of this.” He snatches the monitor from Eddie. “Buckley, outside,” he says into it. Buck groans pathetically. “That’s an order.”

He turns to Eddie, brows raised. “You too, Diaz,” he adds, shooing him toward the back door. “My children need to hear less about your tooshie.” 

When Buck sulks out five minutes later, he has a tiara on his head. Eddie can’t help but smile. 

Buck shrugs, sheepish, and points at it. “Jee gave it to me. Said it would make me look less sad.” 

“Well, it certainly makes you look very pretty,” Eddie offers. 

Buck blushes. He has his arms crossed tightly across his chest like he’s hugging himself, and Eddie hates it. 

“Sorry for proposing to you,” he says, making eye contact with Eddie’s shoes. 

Eddie looks at him. “Why?” 

A frown creases between his brows. “Um. Because it’s insane to platonically propose to your straight best friend?” 

Eddie nods. It’s a decent point. “Sure. Personally, I prefer it to the ankle breaking.”

“It was a sprain,” Buck corrects, on instinct, before the implication lands. His eyes snap to Eddie’s. “Wait, what?” His eyes widen. “Oh my god,” he breathes. “Oh my god. I was - - it was you.” 

“I didn’t know, either,” Eddie adds. “Not really. Until you, uh…” 

“Proposed to you and then fled. Yeah.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie smiles. “That’s the one.” 

Buck groans. Hides his face in his hands. “Eddie, I- -“

“Please don’t apologize,” Eddie begs. “You don’t have to apologize.” 

“I think I definitely do need to apologize,” Buck insists. “I’ve been… I’ve been insane. Like a jealous girlfriend. I’ve made everything weird. No wonder you like Hen more than me.” 

Eddie chuckles. “Buck. How is that what you’ve come away from all of this with? I don’t know how else to say that you’re my favorite person. Sometimes ahead of Chris, these days, because he’s mean and scary now.” 

“He’s not,” Buck frowns. 

Eddie raises his brows. 

“Okay, yeah, he is terrifying, but you’re allowed to like him more than me. I like him more than you.” 

“Great,” Eddie laughs. “He gets my sanity and my best friend.” 

Buck sighs. Meets his eyes. “You’re being very nice about this.” 

“It’s not like you did anything bad,” Eddie shrugs. 

Buck levels him with a look. “I have - - I’ve been - - and everyone knew! And I didn’t mean to. I promise I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know.” 

“Hey,” Eddie cuts in. “I know. It’s okay. We’re okay.” 

Buck shakes his head. “I don’t know how to…” He lets out a breath. “Sorry,” he says instead. 

“I told you not to say that.” 

“I don’t know what else to say,” he shrugs. 

“Not that,” Eddie insists. “It’s not - - it’s not bad. It’s - - I’m flattered.” 

Buck scoffs. 

“No, I am. Or maybe that’s not the right word. I’m - - you’re so good, Buck. You’re like… you’re light. And everywhere you go, people look at you, they’re drawn to you, because you’re so bright. You’re like this ball of… I don’t know. You’re like the sun. Everyone wants you to look at them. And you - - you look at me.” 

Buck blinks. 

“So please don’t apologize.” 

Buck frowns. “You- - do you…like it?” He whispers. “When I look at you?” 

Eddie makes eye contact with the plastic tiara on Buck’s head. He shrugs. “‘Course. You’re my favorite person.” 

Buck lets out a breath. “I don't think that really helps me,” he says, like it’s painful to even form the words in his mouth. “I don’t think it helps if you want me to look at you.” 

Eddie frowns. 

“I don’t know how to - - how I’ll ever stop,” he clarifies. “If you don't want me to.” 

“Oh,” Eddie breathes. “Right.” 

Buck looks at him. 

“You know,” Eddie starts. He’s modeling the behavior. “I was thinking about it. The married thing.” 

Buck blinks. 

“And you were kind of right. It - - it does make sense, really, if you think about it.” 

“Does it?” Buck breathes. 

Eddie nods. “We have a shared calendar,” he notes. “Like you said.” 

Buck nods. 

“And, uh, I don’t really think I want to marry anyone else, anyway, actually? So I don’t think that would be a problem. For me.”

“Oh,” Buck blinks. “Besides me?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie confirms. “Just you, I think.” 

“Right,” he nods. “You’d, um. You’d platonic marry me?” 

Eddie smiles. “That’s how this whole thing started, right? Getting best friend married. I said it first.” 

Buck tilts his head at him. “Huh,” he says. “It doesn’t sound that insane when you say it. It sounds insane when I say it.” 

“I think it probably sounds pretty insane either way,” Eddie notes. “Because, as I said, I’ve been thinking about it.” 

“Right,” Buck nods. 

“And I think it’s possible I would also want to marry you non-platonically.” 

Buck blinks. “It’s…possible?” 

“Mhm,” Eddie nods. “The more I think about it, the more I. Um. Think about it.” 

“Oh?” Buck swallows. 

Eddie nods, a little erratic. “Yeah. Yeah. Actually, yeah.” 

“Yeah?” Buck repeats. 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh.” 

“Oh?” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Well,” Eddie starts. “I haven’t been thinking about it for very long,” he admits. “But in the time that I have been thinking about it, I have been really thinking about it. I kind of can’t stop thinking about it.” 

“About marrying me?” 

Eddie hums non-committedly. Shrugs. “Not…really.” 

“No?” 

“No.” 

“About other things?” 

Eddie nods. 

“Non-platonic things?” 

Eddie nods. 

Buck blinks. “No,” he says, eyes narrowing. “That doesn’t seem right.” 

Eddie shrugs. “That’s what I thought, until I realized it did.” 

“I think,” Buck frowns. “I think we might be having two different conversations.” 

“I don’t think so,” Eddie says. “I want to kiss you, et cetera, and then we should get married.” 

“Et cetera?” Buck chokes. 

“Latin, I think,” Eddie supplies. “You know, so on and so forth.” 

“I know what it means,” he scoffs. 

Eddie smiles. “Et cetera,” he shrugs. “I’ve been thinking about et cetera.” 

“And you feel…positively about et cetera?” 

“I do.” 

“Oh,” Buck breathes. “That’s - - okay,” he nods, eyes wild. “Okay. We’re - - same conversation, then.” 

“Great,” Eddie nods. “Do you want to keep the tiara on when you kiss me? I don’t really mind.” 

Buck gapes. “What?” 

“I do think you look very pretty in it.” 

“I’m - - you want me to kiss you? Now?” 

Eddie shrugs. “Isn’t that what we’ve been talking about?” 

“Well, I - - I guess so. Theoretically. I haven’t thought about it in practice. What if I’m bad at it?” 

Eddie tilts his head. Smiles. “I won’t tell anyone.” 

“Why do I have to kiss you? Why can’t you kiss me?” 

“Because I haven’t done this before, so you have to do it.” 

“I haven’t done this before,” he argues, gesturing between them. “I have never kissed my best friend. That’s completely different.” 

“Well, I want you to,” Eddie shrugs. “When I’ve been thinking about it, you’ve always kissed me.” 

“Now you have expectations!” Buck gasps. “You’ve been thinking it up in your head all day, and I won’t be able to live up to it!” 

Eddie rolls his eyes. “You’ll be fine,” he assures him. “Do your worst.” 

Buck gapes. “No, Eddie,” he frowns, panicked. “No, this is important. This could be your last first kiss.” 

“What do you mean, could be?” 

“It might be bad!” 

“Oh my god, Buck, Jesus Christ,” Eddie sighs, stepping closer to him. 

“No, no, no, wait!” Buck gasps, sticking out a hand to stop him. “No, I’ll do it. You want me to do it, I will do it.” 

Eddie reaches up and straightens Buck’s tiara. “Nothing but faith.” 

Buck swallows, but nods. “And you’re sure?” He whispers. “This isn’t just a pity thing?” 

Eddie sighs. “Yes, Buck, I’m sure. No, Buck, this is not a pity thing. You would still be my best friend if I didn’t feel the same, it just so happens that I do.” 

Buck steps closer. Loops a hand around Eddie’s neck. “What would you have said if you didn’t?” 

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Probably something less cheesy than you being the sun. That’s kind of gay in retrospect.” 

Buck snorts, surprised. “But I’d still be your best friend?” 

Eddie nods, serious. “You’d still be my best friend. We would have gotten through it.” 

Buck swallows, nods, and kisses him. 

He was right, Buck is the sun. Eddie has never felt warmer than this. He’s warm everywhere. Warmest where he’s touching Buck — where Buck’s hands press into the skin of his waist, his chest, where they’re pressed together. He sinks one of his hands into Buck’s hair, pushing the tiara off-center. He laughs into the kiss, and Buck laughs in response, and then there’s a knock at the door. 

There’s a knock, and then the door is being pushed open, and they’re not kissing anymore. Buck blinks at him. Eddie blinks down at Jee, who has appeared beside them, blinking between them. 

Buck snaps out of the blinking circle first. 

“Hey, sweetie,” Buck smiles. “You okay?” 

Eddie is going to give him another baby, somehow. He’ll figure it out. 

Jee nods. “You were kissing Uncle Eddie,” she says. 

Buck blinks. Dazed. “I was,” he agrees. 

She looks between them, analyzing. “Uncle Eddie?” She asks, and Eddie feels himself stop breathing. 

“Yeah, honey?” 

“Do you like Uncle Buck’s tiara?” 

He looks up to find it poking out of a mess of curls, barely clinging on. 

“I do,” he smiles. “It’s very pretty.” 

She nods once, like that was the right answer. “It’s mine,” she adds. “I’m good at sharing.” 

“You must be a really good big sister, then.” 

She nods. “I am.”

“The best,” Buck agrees proudly. 

“Ah, there you are,” Maddie says, appearing behind them in the doorway. “Remember what we said about giving Uncle Buck some privacy to talk to Uncle Eddie?” 

Jee sighs dramatically. “Uncle Buck is always talking. I want to have a princess tea party instead.” 

Eddie snorts. Buck gapes. Maddie expertly bites down a laugh. 

“Why don’t we go and get it all set up? Uncle Buck can join in when he’s done,” Maddie suggests.

“And Uncle Eddie,” Jee insists. “Uncle Eddie is Uncle Buck’s prince. He has to come, too.” 

Eddie blushes. Buck sways where he stands. 

“Is that right?” Maddie smiles. 

“Mhm,” Jee hums, right as Chimney appears, Baby Bobby in his arms. “Uncle Buck was kissing Uncle Eddie. Like a princess.” 

Buck chokes. Chimney squawks. Baby Bobby giggles and claps his hands. 

“The tiara, I think,” Eddie reminds him quietly, reaching up to straighten it atop his head. “It was very gentlemanly.” 

“We need boundaries,” Chimney announces. “My children have seen too much.” 

“What we need,” Maddie declares, “is a princess tea party. Right, Jee?” 

Jee nods. She looks up at Chim. “Daddy, will you be my prince?” 

Chimney melts. “Of course I will be, sweetheart.” 

Eddie wants to give Buck that. He wants to give him a daughter. He will. 

“And you,” Maddie grins, reaching for Baby Bobby. “You will be mommy’s little prince,” she declares, pressing a kiss onto his chubby little cheek. “Alright, Hans, inside. Uncle Buck, Uncle Eddie, there’s a seat at the princess tea party waiting for you when you’re ready.” 

With a flurry of movement, they all slip back through the door, and it’s just the two of them again. It’s just Buck and Eddie. Who kissed. 

“If you have plans - -” Buck starts. 

“I don’t,” Eddie cuts him off. “I’ve never been to a princess tea party. Always wanted to go.” 

Buck smiles, hesitant, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to. “There are a lot of rules, actually,” he notes. “The head princess has a creative vision. Improv is not encouraged nor appreciated.”

“Noted,” Eddie grins. “I’ll be on my best behavior.” 

“Should we, um - -” Buck tries. “Like…talk about it?” 

Oh, fuck yeah. Not only has Eddie scored himself a life-changing epiphany, he also modeled that behavior successfully as fuck. Healthy, open communication prevails. Eddie is nailing this. He’s qualified to raise a teenager. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “Let’s talk.” 

“Okay,” Buck nods. “Okay, so we’re…um. Well. Huh. I guess I did propose to you, but it probably didn’t count, right? So that would make us…um. Like if we were to use a word, you know, we maybe would say…” 

Eddie thinks about it. “It seems kind of pointless to pretend we’re not going to get married,” he points out. “And I wouldn’t say that it didn’t count, I just haven’t answered yet.” 

Buck blinks at him. “Oh. Okay. Great.” 

“And just to be clear, I am saying no to the platonic best friends proposal.” 

Buck deflates. “Right,” he nods. 

“But yes to the not-platonic, et cetera, et cetera, proposal.” 

Buck swallows. “You’d want to not-platonic marry me?” 

“Yes, please,” Eddie confirms. 

“We’re getting married?” Buck breathes. 

“Do you want to get married?”

He nods. He beams. He is the sun. “I want to marry you.”

“What was it you said?” Eddie teases. “Partners forever?”  

Buck blushes. Groans. He buries his face in Eddie’s shoulder. “I think I owe Hen an apology.” 

Eddie snorts. A rubs at his back supportively. “I think you owe Ravi a gift basket.” 

“What?” Buck frowns, head snapping back up. “Did he say something?” 

“I know you think you suffer in silence, bud, but you’ve never done anything silently in your entire life.” 

Buck gapes. “You knew?” 

“You’ve been sulking for months. Of course I knew.” 

“This is so embarrassing,” he groans. “I thought the Baby Bobby thing was working.” 

“If Baby Bobby could speak or form a complex thought, we’d probably be married by now.” 

“Ugh,” Buck groans, pulling his phone from his pocket. “I’m gonna transfer more money into his college fund.” 

“Hey,” Eddie laughs, grabbing his wrist before he can send his entire paycheck to a six-month-old. “I knew you were jealous, but I didn’t know why. If we’re oblivious idiots, at least we’re oblivious idiots together. And, you know, they actually recommend modeling positive communication to children as early as possible. He’ll probably be a genius because of you.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. I’d be more worried about your niece if we hold up her princess tea party for any longer.” 

Buck winces. He looks down at his watch. “Shoot, you’re right.” 

“Did you just say shoot?” 

Buck pouts. “I’m used to talking to a baby!” 

Eddie grins. “Then get that tooshie inside, fiancé. We have a princess tea party to get to.”