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Lo’ak didn’t know why Ao’nung didn’t mate. He wasn’t someone who lacked choices. In fact, as the Chief’s son, he indeed attracted a lot of women, even men, and because of Lo’ak being with Tsireya, his parents also stated that it’s fine for him to mate with men.
“I would hate not having a lot of grandchildren, but as long as you are happy, I wouldn’t oppose anyone you choose. Just don’t be alone.”
Even Ronal, who was the most traditional woman in Pandora, had said to him while Lo’ak was present and she was the most private person he had ever met.
However, no matter what his parents said. Aonung didn’t say anything but nodded in silence, and kept being himself the next day.
His girlfriend was really worried. Tsireya tried to set him up with someone his age. Ao’nung would go but wouldn’t do anything. He just chatted with them like a friendly stranger.
Lo’ak wasn’t someone to intrude into other people’s business. He had learnt it the hard way. It’s best just to let them be.
In ten years, many things had changed. He now was ready to mate and they were going to have the ceremony today. Then they would go back to Spirit Tree in the Omatikaya clan. Tonowari was generous to give his daughter and Lo’ak ten days for this trip.
His parents would also accompany them. Tuk would stay in Awa’atlu for her safety. Even though they had tried to stop that half Navi,Colonel Quaritch from associating with the ash people and successfully killed him by the cliff in Lion King style, his favorite cartoon movie he had loved to watch with his brother at ten, it still wasn’t considered safe for her to travel that far with them.
She had protested but well, their father was never someone to back off that easily. Besides, Kiri wasn’t going, either. They could accompany each other.
By the end of the ceremony, Lo’ak was tired and hoped for nothing but bed. Yet, he had something important to do.
His brother, Neteyam, should know his good news.
He had thought to see him earlier but it’s just painful for him to see his brother’s fifteen-year-old face and tell him that his little brother was old enough to mate.
He had tried so many times but none of them were successful . There was once that he was too broken to even go home. He stayed on the reefs all night trying to gather his breath. His throat was closing so hard that he couldn’t bear it to swim home with his iLu.
However, today was too important. He needed to be the one who did it. He couldn’t chicken out this time.
As he arrived, he had noticed a familiar iLu insight. There was a shell collar that Ao’nung always made for his ride.
Why was he here?
He swallowed hard and somehow he had the answer.
Diving to the bottom, he saw the man connecting with the Spirit Tree with a solemn look. Lo’ak crept into the corner, made sure the man wouldn’t see him after awakened, and connected himself to the branch.
He was on the reef near to the beach and saw the scene that nearly took his breath away. He quickly hid in the water as silently as he could.
It’s Ao’nung, smiling to his brother in a way he never saw before, gently and full of tenderness and emotion. His azure eyes didn’t blink at all, staring at Neteyam in his fifteenth.
They were standing extremely close to each other. His brother wrapped Ao’nung’s giant hands.
“How strange, you have tattoos.” His brother’s voice was a little naughty, like he had caught something unusual and the ocean boy shouldn’t have done. He also smiled in a way Lo’ak had never seen.
It was painful to know that he had known his brother for good fifteen years and there were still a lot he didn’t know and might never know if he didn’t come today.
“Well, my father granted me to have them.” Ao’nung chuckled. “Maybe you could have them too.”
“Well, I don’t mind it a bit, but I think you might not want it as much as you have said.” Neteyam laughed and patted Ao’nung’s shoulder playfully.
The armband? Lo’ak wiped the tears away from his eyes and saw his brother’s armband, similar to the one Ao’nung had kept carefully in his bedroom.
It wasn’t that he liked to peek. He just accidentally knocked over one wooden box when he hung out at his marui. The armband was on the floor. Of course, Ao’nung didn’t know about it. He had put it back as soon as he came back due to the sound Lo’ak made.
“Would you stay longer with me? I know your father wants you to participate in the clan’s affairs.” His brother asked while leaning on the ocean boy’s arm.
“Well, I am sorry for that, but today is the date your brother and my sister became mates. I think it’s best I come to help out.” Ao’nung’s face was almost unreadable. His eyes were staring at his brothers’.
“How rude. He didn’t tell me, but he is just fourteen. Is it even possible to mate that early?”
“That’s our tradition. Hearts want whatever they want. It’s best to start early. In this way, they could stay together forever.” His voice was a little shaken.
Neteyam laughed and touched his tattoos on the face with his slender fingers.
“Your tattoos are so familiar…not complicated like your father.”
That was also Lo’ak was curious about for a long time. He cocked his head to listen.
“It’s similar to the patterns on your face.”
Lo’ak’s eyes widened.
His brother chuckled and kept tracing his tattoos.
“Your father might not be a fan of it.”
“I have made a promise to you, right? Not until the war’s over and your family settles down.”
“Well, my good boy, how delightful I am in you, the great warrior, confine in our little promise.”Neteyam slowly kissed the corner of Ao’nung’s lip and cupped his cheek. “Don’t worry. Our days would come, too.”
“Of course.” Ao’nung smiled gently.
“I still have the armband on me. You said it marked me as yours, right? You possessive, spoiled boy.”
Lo’ak took a deep breath and his brother immediately noticed his existence, escaped from Ao’nung and smiled awkwardly at him.
“Lo’ak, why are you here? Aonung said you are busy at the ceremony.”
He walked to them without responses. Aonung looked at him with an unreadable expression, like had expected him to come out.
That evil person. As a good warrior, even far better than Lo’ak was in water, he must have noticed his existence.
He knew exactly what he needed to do.
Lo’ak stepped forward and held his brother in his arms tightly. He was fourteen again and with slightly shorter height, he was able to bury his face in his hair.
It was familiar, yet distant.
“You know I love you, right? My brother.” He whispered in his ear and felt tears falling from his eyes. “I would never disagree with you being with him. I know you are trying to meet Father’s expectation but he would be totally fine with it.”
He pulled away and saw his brother being stoned and then Neteyam gave him the most breathtaking smile he hadn’t gotten chances to see before.
It was watery and his face was full of happiness and release.
“Thank you, brother, I appreciate it.”
Lo’ak felt choked and his vision was blurring. He wanted to stay longer and talked with him, but it wasn’t enough time.
He gave him a cocky smile and turned around, diving into the water.
When he woke up, he found himself resting on the reef and Ao’nung was sitting by him and looking at the moon hanging in the sky.
They had kept silent for a long time until Lo’ak finally found the courage to speak up.
“I didn’t know the thing between you and my brother.”
“You aren’t supposed to know. I just came here and told him the news because I knew I needed him to know and it was too painful for you to tell him.”
Lo’ak swallowed hard and saw the man dive into the water and left him alone. His ilu had swam over and poked his leg with the peak.
The armband, the tattoos, the promise, all of them had pointed to one truth, one simple and cruel truth.
They were in love, with nobody known and seen.
As much as Lo’ak was happy that his brother had experienced love before he passed, but as Ao’nung’s friend for ten years, he couldn’t let go of the pain creeping into his heart.
It must have been so painful to keep such a secret at heart and see everyone trying to help him find a mate.
How sinful of his brother, left a heart like that behind.
He was the one who tore them apart and still Ao’nung found the strength to keep him out of troubles, like his brother would have done. Lo’ak couldn’t know he could have made it.
It must have been so painful to see his face every single day and be fully aware that Lo’ak had suggested some idiotic moves that killed his brother.
He suddenly lost all the courage to go back home to see his mate.
***
Later at night, Tsireya came to find Lo’ak. She touched his cheek gently.
“You don’t know what I have done.”
“You have a good heart and my brother doesn’t blame you at all. He told me to find you because he needed to go to the hill where he had spent a lot of time with Neteyam.”
“How did you know?”
“They weren’t that subtle. Besides, you were busy with Payakan at that time. Basically blind to everything.”
He chuckled dryly.
“You don’t need to blame yourself for something that happened so long ago. Aonung would be fine. He always disappears for a few days and he would come back to his usual self.”
So, that’s the reason that Tsireya never pushed his brother. She had introduced her friends but as soon as her brother expressed his disapproval, she stopped without a second thought.
“Is he going to be alone forever?”
“With Eywa, we are never alone.” Tsireya took his hands in her. “For my brother, Neteyam has never left his side and he just patiently waits for the time he can unite with him.”
Her eyes, so similar to Ao’nung’s, were filled with tears.
“Tsireya…”
“Don’t worry, Lo’ak, I am fine.” She took a deep breath and kept saying, “He is content and makes peace with the fact their time together would never tick again but the time would forever be frozen at the best time of his life.”
Lo’ak sighed in desperation. He held her into his arms and cried silently.
It’s familiar and close.
**
He didn’t tell his family members about it. Tsireya had reminded him of her brother’s resistance and in fact, he wasn’t planning to in the first place.
It was a secret that should only be kept in that man’s heart. He just accidentally knew about it.
Lo’ak was a little jealous that Ao’nung got the chance to see the side his brother never showed to others, but he could get why he never wanted people to see it.
His brother didn’t leave this man much, except for a few memories in couples of months, but somehow this man, as spoiled and obnoxious he had been in his youth, had loved Neteyam enough to live by the promise that they had made till this day.
Not mated while he was alive, Ao’nung couldn’t even mourn him like Lo’ak and his family. He couldn’t join them to visit the spirit tree together to have rare family unions and couldn’t claim himself to be one of the Sully like his sister had done.
His brother was a good boy, always protecting his family and his people, always trying to living up to his father’s expectation and never giving up even in the most dangerous situations. Now, he was lying with Eywa, without a clue about everyone’s pain and happily living the best time of his life.
How could Lo’ak not blame himself for the worst mistake he had ever made?
It took nearly five years for him to dive down again to see his brother. He needed to bring his son with him to meet his brother. At that time, Ao’nung was already there, showing his brother the photo his father took for the baby.
Neteyam looked at him in surprise and held Lo’ak’s son in his arms.
“Happy birthday, my dear nephew. Hope Eywa bless you with another year’s health and happiness.”
He kissed him on the forehead and smiled gently to Ao’nung.
“I hate to say that but how can Tsireya give my brother a son looking exactly like your copy except for the skin.” He teased.
Ao’nung chuckled and stroked Lo’ak’s son’s hair. “I am not sorry for helping your next generation look better.”
“You have no shame.” Neteyam rolled his eyes playfully.
They chatted for a while and then the air in the baby’s lung had used up and they needed to come up to the surface.
Lo’ak swam to the reef, put his son on it and sat beside him. He used the fabric he had prepared ahead on the reed and wrapped him in it.
Aonung had also surfaced. On his face was a satisfied smile.
Lo’ak gave him a wink and said, “Have a go with my brother?”
“Not the topic I want to go, and besides, you know your tradition, he would never consent.”
Aonung shrugged, ignoring his pained look and sitting beside him. His azure eyes stared at the moon.
“I…”
“You don’t need to apologize. I don’t need it.” Ao’nung said bluntly.
“Ao’nung…Are you going to remain this way forever?” Lo’ak sighed. It was a sensitive topic but he still needed to bring up, especially when he had seen him smiling so tenderly with his brother. “It’s not healthy to dwell in the past.”
“I am not dwelling in the past.” Ao’nung rolled his eyes. He adjusted his legs a little to sit more comfortably.
“But…”
“Your brother was a person who changed my whole life.” The man said quietly. “Before him, no one saw me aside from my being my father’s son. He respected me and loved me back when I desperately needed those and I changed into a person who could stand in other people’s shoes and help people without the need to prove my status.”
A memory crept into Lo’ak’s mind. It was Kiri, having a seizure after she connected with this Spirit Tree. He stood beside his brother and then he remembered Ao’nung being the one who requested others to bring his mother and then standing by the door with his sister. Tulkuns came back and his siblings were playing around. Aonung was the one who took Tuk home when she was too tired to do so herself.
Then, they were trying to save Payakan and his brother literally told him to take them as far as he could when he would be the one to distract RDA
All the memories started to link together. He looked at the man before him in stoned silence and disbelief.
“After meeting such a wonderful person, I am picky now.” Ao’nung laughed and ruffled Lo’ak’s hair like he was still the little boy in fourteenth.
“But…”
“He had lightened up my life in a way that no one could have done. The best thing you could do for us is to help me pray to Eywa that when my strength is used up, she could shorten the distance between us and let us have our own forest and beach. I don’t want to share him with you greedy little shit. Your parents and siblings are always welcomed by the way.”
His baby welled and Lo’ak picked him up, slowly rocking him.
There was no way to talk him out of it. He was going to die alone and willing to do so because he had hoped to share his afterlife with the boy only existing in his life for eight months.
“You skwxxng. My brother loved me. He would miss me and kick your sorry ass out if you reject me.”
Aonung laughed and Lo’ak could feel there was something heavy finally falling down. It hit him that this man had been waiting for him to say so.
“Before his death, my brother had tried to make a beaded choker. That was similar to his, except for he had mixed some shells in it. My parents had believed that he was making it for Tuk because she had begged him to make one for him.” He tossed a small bag to him. “I didn’t tell Tuk at all. I just told her that our brother was looking for them in the spirit tree and she begged me to do this for her. She didn’t want to toss away the things he left behind.”
Aonung swallowed hard. Lo’ak could see he was trying to fight the tears in his eyes. Like Tsireya, his eyes also turned a little red and watery.
“Just don’t show it in public. She would know it immediately. Then you are the one who couldn’t keep the secret.”
He climbed onto his ilu and left him alone on the reef.
He loved his brother and if Ao’nung made him the armband, he would definitely make something to give him something as a promise of lifetime. Neteyam would want to win it by giving him something bigger. He was competitive when it came to things he cared about.
When there was time and they would gather together in Eywa’s arms, he hoped his brother could see it on the man he had loved. They might not be mated in everyone’s eyes but it would be enough for him and enough for Ao’nung to hold on to for the rest of his life.
He stopped and saw the moon in the sky, shining gently on him and his sleepy son. He kissed his forehead and whispered,
“We would all be alright, Teyam.”