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It was a perfectly normal evening as far as anything on DS9 was ever normal. Perhaps not normal in a sense of being ordinary, but normal in a sense of approaching a pseudo-mathematical norm for the station. In other words, everything that stood out or looked vaguely insane was doing it in a familiar, comfortable way that Julian knew how to deal with.
That is, until Jadzia descended upon his and Garak’s table at Quark’s with an update about the experiment she’s been running that Julian was interested in, interrupted herself mid-sentence, and stared at Julian. Hard.
"Why are you so pretty tonight?" Jadzia inquired breathlessly.
Garak dropped a fork, and it clanged loudly on his plate. Jadzia kept staring. Julian felt himself blushing under the attention.
"Excuse me?" he tried weakly, flustered.
"Your cheekbones," Jadzia replied, not at all helpfully, "are insane."
Julian thought the situation was insane, not his perfectly normal cheekbones, but he checked just in case, raising his hand to feel the shape of his face. There was nothing unusual about it that he could tell. He glanced at Garak. Garak looked back, just as confused as Julian, but also a whole lot annoyed. Right. Of course.
"Are you messing with me, Jadzia?" Julian asked, looking at her again with suspicion. "Because I know I can be a bit vain. So yes, very funny, you got me, can we move on now, please?"
Julian was, of course, perfectly aware of his more than decent looks, and he wasn’t ashamed to use them either, but the thing was, he and Jadzia knew each other for years. He spent a couple of those years actively chasing after her and trying to charm her. And it never once worked. She certainly never looked as enamored with him as she did now — all soft smiles and dark eyes. It would have been flattering (well, more flattering, because it was Jadzia, and Julian couldn’t not feel flattered a little bit when Jadzia paid him this kind of attention), if it wasn’t so odd.
"I’m not messing with you, Julian," Jadzia replied, sounding sincere, actually. Julian frowned. She sighed and leaned forward, folding her arms in front of her to prop up her chin. Julian swallowed dry. "You’ve always been handsome, but tonight you are irresistible. Have you done something?"
Julian thought back at his day. He spent most of it with a laboring patient, then caught up on paperwork and rushed home to take a quick shower before his dinner with Garak. He didn’t even have time to brush his hair properly. If anything, he must’ve just looked tired and a bit disheveled.
"Maybe, you are just finally succumbing to my boyish charm," he joked, not finding anything that would explain the supposed difference.
"No," Jadzia replied firmly, and — ouch! "Something is different about you, Julian. You look ridiculously kissable right now. Your eyes, your lips, the shape of your face, the…"
"I assure you, commander, Doctor Bashir has always looked this way," Garak interrupted her sharply. "Now, if you’ll excuse us, we were in the middle of something when you interrupted us for an unscheduled ogling session."
"Why, Garak, am I interfering with your regularly scheduled ogling session?" Jadzia smirked, finally tearing her eyes away from Julian. "Are you suggesting I should get in line?"
"I am suggesting," Garak smiled thinly, and oh, he was properly pissed off now — Julian knew this smile of his well, "that there is nothing out of the ordinary in how our dear Doctor looks today, and even if there was, surely, interrupting his dinner to harass him is hardly a good way to express it."
Julian’s eyes kept darting between them in confusion. Did Jadzia really just call him kissable? Did Garak really say he always looked kissable? Were they really arguing about the proper ogling procedure?
Garak looked like he was one deep breath away from saying something he would regret, and Jadzia looked like she was daring him to, so Julian put a hand on his forearm. He rubbed it soothingly when he felt just how tense the muscles under his touch were.
"Garak, it’s fine," he said, hoping to de-escalate and getting a betrayed look from Garak for his effort. It was surprisingly distressing. Julian rushed to clarify that he wasn’t dismissing his attempts to defend Julian’s honor. Those were touching, if bizarre. "I’m sure Jadzia was joking."
"Joking about what?" a new voice chimed in, and a few seconds later Jadzia was pulling Kira down to sit on the last remaining chair at the table.
"Nerys, look!" she implored excitedly, Garak momentarily forgotten. "Isn’t Julian looking absolutely devastating tonight?"
"Julian what?" Kira echoed flatly, narrowing her eyes at Jadzia. "How drunk are you?"
Julian could relate.
"I haven’t had a drop. Look at him, not at me," Jadzia insisted impatiently and physically nudged Kira to turn to Julian.
Now two pairs of eyes were on him, running up and down. It was a weird feeling, to be under such scrutiny when it wasn’t requested, Julian found. His fingers tightened on Garak’s forearm, and he was about to say it was ridiculous — Jadzia was being ridiculous, and won’t Kira tell her, please — when something in Kira’s gaze shifted.
"Oh," she said quietly. "Yes, I can see what you mean. How did we never notice before?"
Julian groaned. "Not you too! What is it with the sudden Julian appreciation day? Not that I mind an occasional compliment, but this is just ridiculous."
Kira, at least, had the decency to look embarrassed. Unlike Jadzia, who just looked delighted as ever. She went back to staring at Julian, all soft smiles and starry eyes.
Garak was tense as a rock by his side now, and Julian could understand his discomfort. He was tempted himself to drag both of the women to the infirmary and put them through a thorough scan just in case there was something in the air. Kira suddenly joining in with the weirdness was just that startling.
Jadzia deciding to lay on compliments and watch the resulting mayhem was… well, it was still weird in that she didn’t usually do it with people she was working with, unless she was actually trying to seduce them. But it was kind of in character overall. Julian could definitely see her deciding she was bored today and that it would be an excellent idea to tease him. But Kira, though? That was an entirely different story.
"What’s with the party?" Miles asked curiously, stopping by their table as well. "Are we celebrating something?"
Julian wasn’t sure whether he was glad to hear him or terrified of his reaction when he realized what was going on. But even in the worst case, it wouldn’t hurt to have some moral support against the craziness. Garak was at this point just silently radiating a heavy mix of frustration and thin restraint, which wasn’t much help at all. So, yes. Miles.
Julian looked up at him hopefully, smiled in greeting, and watched Miles freeze and turn red at an alarming speed.
"Seriously?!" Julian asked.
Jadzia giggled. Kira pulled another chair and patted it grimly. Miles, at least, didn’t say anything; he was just staring, even after he sat down. Julian let go of Garak’s arm and used his hands to hide his face. He considered just leaving, but as weird and embarrassing this was, it was also a different kind of weird — an interesting kind. Maybe, even a flattering kind, if he was being entirely honest with himself. He wasn’t sure what to make of the phenomenon, but it was hardly something he could ignore.
"I just want to eat you up," Jadzia commented out of absolutely nowhere, making him drop his hands and stare back in shock. "To take off your clothes and lick your stupidly long..."
"Jadzia!" Julian and Kira exclaimed simultaneously, shocked.
"…neck," she finished, undeterred. "Why are we all pretending this isn’t what everyone here is thinking?"
Julian stared at her, blushing again. Nobody, he noticed, was even attempting to deny the accusation. Not even Miles. Garak shifted closer to Julian, silently glaring at Jadzia, Miles, and Kira in turns. Very curious and a bit exciting, but, unfortunately, not at all helpful. Were they all somehow drunk?
"Jadzia!" Worf's annoyed voice boomed. Julian flinched out of surprise, and then the Klingon was towering over the table. "We were supposed to meet at the holosuites seven minutes ago."
"Please take her away," Julian asked weakly. He didn’t think Worf heard him. He was glad Worf also didn’t hear his wife talking about licking Julian’s neck, and that Julian wouldn’t end up with broken bones before he could explain that he wasn’t exactly volunteering to be Jadzia’s today’s project, or whatever this was.
"Oh, but Worf, look at Julian!"
No. Surely not.
Except, yes, apparently: Worf has also decided that today was the day to appreciate Julian's facial structure. He stared, until his annoyance at running behind schedule shifted into something soft and surprised.
"Can we?" Jadzia asked pleadingly, sliding her hand up Worf's arm. "It'll be so much fun."
"Jadzia!" Worf replied, scandalized at the implication, whatever it was, and Julian honestly breathed out in relief. As much as he was once infatuated with Jadzia, and as much as he still thought she was the hottest woman to ever walk any surface, he found the idea of following this path of her finding him attractive extraordinarily badly timed. On account of her marriage to a particularly monogamous Klingon, if nothing else.
Except, then Worf went silent for a little bit, only to finish with, "I suppose we could share once."
"That’s it, I’m out," Miles grumbled before escaping. Worf took his place as if that was entirely normal. As if anything in the last half an hour was at all normal.
Julian didn’t even react to his friend’s departure, too busy dealing with the shock of being invited to Jadzia and Worf's marital bed. Which, he had to admit, wasn't an entirely unlikeable idea, and he would have maybe even liked to explore it under different circumstances, but with the circumstances being what they were, he was half a step away from declaring a medical emergency and dragging the whole table into the infirmary to scan them for toxins and psychic influences. The only reason he wasn’t there yet was because the clinical picture pointed at this being exactly what it seemed: an unexpected but perfectly natural thirst over him. They were different species, coming from different places, and their reasoning ability seemed perfectly intact. Maybe he just was that attractive. Still, he was considering the scanner…
And then Garak decided he was done being patient, apparently.
"Share," he echoed flatly, without any of his usual oratory decorations. Everyone’s eyes snapped to him, Julian’s included. If he thought Garak was angry before, in hindsight, that seemed like merely a mild annoyance compared to this moment. "I wasn’t aware you had such an open mind and such an open marriage, Commander. I would even applaud it if not for the fact that you are arranging an encounter with an unwilling participant."
He wasn’t looking at Julian, wasn’t touching Julian, but Julian still felt like he was at the center of Garak’s attention right now, somehow.
"Jealous, Garak?" Jadzia asked, grinning. "Afraid the participant is more willing than you think? Why don’t we ask Julian how willing he is?"
"You have no idea what you are playing with," Garak hissed, but he stopped there, tense and absolutely refusing to look at Julian, which immediately made Julian itch to catch his eye. He was half a breath away from poking at Garak, verbally or otherwise, to get his attention back, when Kira sighed somewhere on the periphery, distracting Julian and reminding him she was still here. That they were still at Quark’s, in fact, discussing, apparently, threesomes in the middle of a crowd. And sure, Federation was very accepting and not at all prudish in matters such as this, and the same was mostly true for Bajor, but still. Maybe not the best place to poke at Garak.
Jadzia and Worf were looking at him expectantly. Well, Worf was more glaring than looking, but as far as Worf’s facial expressions went, this one seemed fairly friendly. Julian would even say, hopeful? Which was hard to wrap his mind around, honestly, because Worf has never, ever shown any interest in Julian in particular or men in general, and yet here he was, going along with his wife’s plans for sharing the station’s doctor.
"What do you say, Julian?" Jadzia asked. Julian looked at her. She was speaking softly and seriously for the first time this evening. "Would you like to join us? I can promise we will take good care of you."
Julian glanced at Worf. Worf nodded equally as seriously. Which meant that now it was Julian’s turn to seriously consider an invitation to join the woman he has been half in love with since the moment they met and her fairly attractive husband in bed. They clearly wanted him. And although he still had no idea why, or rather, why now, nobody seemed incapacitated in any way in their ability to make decisions. And they were all, at this point, just friends, so it’s not like he couldn’t handle a one-night stand with Jadzia without getting heartbroken. It would all be in good fun, if he accepted.
The longer he thought about it, the tenser Garak at his side felt, though. And this was another thing. Another discovery, so to say. Was Garak actually jealous? He never showed it before — not when Julian was courting Jadzia, nor when he was dating Leeta. He’d be annoyed if Julian mentioned his romantic endeavors, but then again, they were meeting up to gossip about literature, philosophy, and politics — not about their personal lives.
But today, the way the evening played out, wasn’t Garak basically admitting he wanted Julian for himself? Wanted to kiss him and — how did Jadzia phrase it? — lick his stupid neck?
And if that was the case… Julian might have been half in love with Jadzia for as long as he knew her, but he was fully in love with Garak for almost as long.
"I’m flattered," he said finally. "And tempted. Really. But I don’t think that is a good idea."
"Why not?" Worf asked, low and careful. "Anything we can do to make it a good idea?"
"He said, 'no', you brute!" Garak snapped. "Now go away, all of you! This buffet is closed for the night."
When nobody moved, Garak huffed and stood up himself. He hesitated for only a moment before taking hold of Julian’s wrist and tugging at him to follow. Julian went willingly, eager to leave the weirdness of Jadzia’s little circle of lust behind to maybe explore Garak’s perspective on the evening.
"So," Julian noted as casually as he could muster, as they were walking down the Promenade a minute later. "You think I always looked kissable?"
Garak let go of his wrist as if scorched, and Julian used the chance to take his hand instead, not letting him escape.
"Come on, Garak," he pleaded. "Give me something. You can’t spend the evening seething with jealousy, drag me away like a dragon kidnapping a princess, and then go back to ignoring your feelings. At least I hope I’m having a right guess at your feelings, but even if not, at the very least you shouldn’t ignore mine, and—"
"Doctor," Garak said without looking at him. "Can you possibly be quiet for a minute?"
Julian glared. Then sighed. Then grumbled.
"Rude."
Garak shifted his hand in Julian’s grasp and threaded their fingers together. That effectively shut Julian up. He could wait a minute, sure.
In the end, it was not, in fact, a minute, but Julian managed to stay silent the whole time.
They walked all the way to the turbolift, where Julian fully expected to hear something, since they were finally alone in a private space (not that being in a group of horny Starfleet officers and Bajorans stopped Garak earlier), but Garak just stood a bit straighter, looking so perfectly serene that it was clear how uncomfortable he was. Whether it was the tightness of space, the paranoia, or the topic, he was on the edge. Julian rubbed the knuckles of his hand and smiled when Garak’s fingers relaxed a bit in his grip. He supposed there was no rush now. Especially given that they were headed to Garak’s level of the habitat.
It was only when they entered Garak’s quarters and sat down on a sofa that Garak released Julian’s hand and broke the silence.
"I should apologize," Garak said in a tone that was less apologetic and more 'I would do it again, because I was right, please agree'. "My interference on your behalf was probably unwarranted. It’s not that I doubt your ability to set boundaries, Doctor. I just hated to see them being crossed with such a lack of finesse."
"As opposed to your very refined boundaries crossing, such as showing up in my bedroom at night to drag me to Bajor?" Julian asked with a smile, touched but not letting it stop him from teasing.
"To invite you on an adventure you so clearly longed for!" Garak defended himself. "Besides, I don’t remember you complaining at the time."
"I am hardly complaining now, Garak," Julian noted, amused. "Apology accepted and unnecessary. But that’s not why we are here, I hope. After all, I could have been having quite an adventure right now, have you not interfered."
"Oh, yes," Garak spat out, immediately annoyed. "The allure of someone else’s marriage. Forgive me if I deprived you of the pleasure of having your bones cracked by an overly enthusiastic Klingon mountain and a risk-blind, horny Trill."
"You have to admit Worf is hot," Julian noted just to see what would happen.
"Do I?" Garak delivered, dramatically. "Do I have to admit to such nonsense? Is it not clear that people I find, as you phrased it, 'hot' look nothing like Commander Worf?"
"People?" Julian fished, liking where this was going now that they were back on topic. "What people might you be talking about, Garak?"
"You are insufferable!" Garak exclaimed and sighed. Dramatically. Julian suspected Garak enjoyed the process as much as he hated the topic.
"I am also, apparently, the most attractive person at Quark’s tonight. All the rage. Very popular."
Julian tried to keep a straight face, but it was increasingly difficult the more he processed the events of the evening now that he had time and space to do so: the way Garak reacted all evening to people lusting over Julian, the way he was so openly miserable yet remained by his side, the way he took Julian with him when he finally left… all the little admissions in words and in silence. Julian might have been a bit naive, but he wasn’t a complete idiot.
"You’ve been the most attractive person at Quark’s since you first set foot there," Garak grumbled. "That is hardly news even if your admirers have been suffering from the collective blindness until now."
Julian would blush, but he was all blushed out for the evening, so he simply softened his smile and leaned closer.
"What are you saying, Garak?" Julian asked, hiding the desperation in softness and not hiding the hope at all. "Was Jadzia right about everything?"
The desire to kiss him, the ogling, the jealousy… was that all true? Julian was almost sure now, after the way Garak held his hand minutes ago, but he needed to hear it confirmed. They had been flirting, and bickering, and saving each other, and changing each other for so long now, and it never led anywhere. Never brought any clarity in the complicated space between them. Julian was almost sure so many times before, he didn’t particularly trust the feeling anymore.
He’d trust Garak, though: as much as the man loved his lies and his riddles, with the truly important stuff Julian trusted him most of everyone, excepting maybe Miles. Not that Miles would have an expert opinion on Garak’s feelings.
Garak looked at him for a long minute, clearly fighting something, and then sighed, his gaze softening.
"She was," he said finally. "I have wanted to kiss you since I first saw you on the Promenade — so excited to be on this station that for me was merely a cage, and so exquisitely handsome. When I first approached you that day, I was planning to seduce you. To bring you to my bed, maybe get some secrets out of you alongside a temporary distraction from the misery that was my life back then. I had no idea what I was getting into, Julian. I still don’t."
"I am right here, you know," Julian said, quietly, meaning it in more than one way and trusting Garak to catch them all.
"I know," Garak replied. "I am not blind. You have made your attraction clear over the years. I must say, you are very persistent, Doctor, but not very elegant in your pursuits."
Julian was wrong earlier. He was not, in fact, all blushed out.
"Unwarranted criticism aside, why are we still talking?" he managed. "As in, if you want to kiss me, and, unlike me, you knew the desire was mutual, why has it never happened?"
"Because you will ruin me, Julian," Garak said simply. "And I will ruin you. And between the two of us wanting this, once I get a taste of what it might be like, I do not believe I would be able to stop."
"Well, that makes things simpler," Julian replied.
"How, pray tell?" Garak huffed skeptically. "How is any of this simple?"
Instead of answering, Julian leaned in and kissed him. There was a moment when Garak was frozen against him, solid, and tense, and not moving at all. Not breathing even. Julian made an unhappy sound and licked Garak’s bottom lip before kissing him again. And that’s when Garak moved with him, and then against him: grabbing, holding, and pushing, until Julian was firmly stuck between the hard cold back of the sofa and the warm hard chest of one Elim Garak, getting not as much kissed as devoured, and not minding any of it at all.
"See," he said between the giggles bubbling out of him, when Garak came up for air and looked at him in a confused daze. "Now, it’s perfectly simple. No way back. Since you had a taste and all."
"You are a menace, Doctor," Garak complained. He sounded awestruck. It was doing wonders for Julian’s self-esteem, whatever words were coupled with the tone. "Reckless, immature, overly literal, irresistible menace."
"I love you too, Garak," Julian replied fondly. "Now shut up and kiss me."
Maybe, he thought, as Garak did just that, he did not like normal, after all. Not even the DS9 normal. Maybe, he preferred the chaos, because chaos had the potential to uproot lives, and it wasn’t always bad — having their life turned upside down.
It wasn’t always a problem when someone broke into his bedroom, or, indeed, into his heart.
Or maybe he just liked Garak, and the rest was a price for the ride. The man was certainly worth it.