Chapter Text
It started as an accident, if Robert was going to be honest with himself. It had been a tough day, a lot of calls, most of which seemed rather pointless if you asked Robert, (if one more fucking person called about a cat in a tree, he swore to god!) but the team had worked hard, going above and beyond in a way Robert hadn’t seen before and he really had been proud of them. So, when they had all gathered in the break room at the end of the day, Robert had simply smiled at them and said.
“I’m really proud of you all for how hard you worked today. You guys did amazing.”
“Ahhh Bob Bob, you’re going to make me blush!” Sonar said, with a slight laugh.
“I bet I did better than all of you.” Flambae said smugly.
“As if, babes. I did all the heavy lifting.” Malevola stated, leaning back in her seat, her tail waving.
“Hey! If anyone did heavy lifting, it was me!” Punch Up replied, flexing his muscles, which made Coup smile and clap politely.
“Nah, bro. It was me.” Golem said calmly.
As the group started bickering among themselves, more of a friendly banter than cruel snarking, Robert rolled his eyes as he moved towards the coffee machine, wanting one last cup before the end of the day. The machine had been acting up pretty badly over the last few days, but Robert didn’t really care if he got coffee grinds in his coffee. He just needed that sweet, sweet bean juice running through his veins.
The poor machine immediately began to let out a grinding noise and shake pretty violently. Robert watched this happen with a raised eyebrow, wondering if maybe this had been a bad idea after all when it exploded. Robert cursed as he jerked his head to the side, just in time since his cup flew right past his cheek. His cup sailed across the room to shatter against the wall while hot water and coffee grounds began to shoot out of the machine as it sparked and shook, making a mess all over the counter. Robert surged forward to rip the power cord out of the wall, finally making it stop. It let out one final death gurgle before going still.
“Well shit.” Robert muttered with a huff.
“Robert!” Punch Up’s yell made Robert turn his head to see the whole Z-Team staring at him with wide eyes.
“Sorry about all the noise. Didn’t know it would explode on me. I’ll clean it up.” Robert said with a shrug, assuming they were staring at him because of all the noise.
“That’s not- you idiot! Do you not feel that!” Flambae snapped, getting to his feet as he pointed.
Feel what? Looking down, Robert realized the burning hot water had gotten all over his shirt.
“Oh, it’s just water. It will be fine.” Robert waved.
“Bitch, are you stupid! Your skin is already turning red!” Prism snapped.
Sure enough, when he looked closer, his arms, neck and chest underneath his shirt were starting to turn red.
“Oh. I should probably do something about that, huh?” Robert asked, but didn’t move.
“Oh, for the love of fucking God!” Invisigal yelled as she got to her feet and grabbed him, immediately dragging him towards the bathroom.
Robert blinked as he was dragged off, but didn’t stop her as she pulled him into the bathroom where Invisigal pulled him to the sink, started the water and grabbed some paper towels.
“Are you brain dead or something? You just got seriously burned and didn’t even blink! Now, take your fucking shirt off and put these on!” she demanded as she dunked the paper towels under the water before handing them to him.
Robert huffed as he started to take his shirt off, hissing slightly when it pulled on his skin a bit. He took the paper towels and started to put them on his burns. They were starting to ache a little, but the cool towels were nice. It was curious to him why Invisigal knew how to handle burns like this, but he would have to ask her later. A knock to the door made them both turn to see Blonde Blazer pushing the door open.
“Robert, I heard from Malevola you were burned by the coffee machine? Are you alri-?” she paused in the doorway, staring at Robert standing there, shirtless with wet paper towels all over his chest and arms with Invisigal standing next to him, holding more wet paper towels and looking wide eyed.
“Oh. I see you have it… handled.” she said slowly.
“Um? Kind of? I mean, I feel like this is a lot.” Robert stated.
Invisigal snapped her head around to glare at him.
“Your skin was going to blister if you just kept standing there like an idiot! Which you were!” she snapped, throwing the paper towel at his face.
It hit him across the eyes and stayed there before Robert sighed and reached up to pull it off. Blazer snorted slightly before coughing into her fist to cover it up.
“I see. It is still probably a good idea to get it checked out by the SDN doctors. Burns of any kind are not to be ignored.” Blazer stated, seriously.
Robert sighed and shook his head.
“I really don’t see a reason to bother them. It’s the end of the day and I am sure they want to go home. Hell, I want to go home and these aren’t even that bad. Let’s just leave it alone and if they are bad tomorrow, I’ll go.” Robert stated.
Invisigal and Blazer shared an exasperated look, but knew he was too stubborn to give in. There was a second knock at the door before Chase stepped in.
“I heard my little pain in the ass got himself fucked up again. What happened this fucking time?” Chase demanded, Beef in his arms.
“It’s really not a big deal. I got a little burn from the coffee machine.” Robert explained, waving his arm dismissively.
Chase eyed the paper towels and red skin underneath before whistling.
“Damn, this reminds me of the time you got burned making fucking pasta. I told you to stop standing on that damn chair, but did you listen to me? Nooo. Robert was a big boy who could handle him fucking self.” Chase stated, mockingly.
Robert huffed as he rolled his eyes.
“You are starting to really sound as old as you look. Also you’re acting like you didn’t freak the fuck out and drag my ass to the hospital when I told you I was fine.” Robert mocked back.
“Of fucking course I freaked the fuck out! You poured a whole fucking pot of boiling fucking water on yourself! I’m still fucking shocked to this fucking day that your skin didn’t fucking melt or something like that!” Chase snapped back.
“The water had barely started to boil. It wasn’t that hot.” Robert replied.
Invisigal raised an eyebrow as she looked at Robert, arms crossed.
“I thought you said you didn’t have any powers?” she asked.
Robert looked at her funny.
“I don’t. Superpowers kind of skipped the Robertson line.” Robert stated.
“Bullshit. I always thought there was something off about that.” Chase replied with a huff.
Robert glanced at him, surprised.
“I think I would notice if I had superpowers, Chase.” Robert said.
Chase rolled his eyes before looking at Blazer.
“That I fucking doubt. But you always bounced back quicker from things that should have killed you. I could never tell if it was fucking superpowers or sheer dumb fucking luck. Maybe both.” Chase shrugged.
Blazer and Invisigal blinked in surprise before Robert snorted dismissively. He started to remove the paper towels, throwing them into the trash.
“Yeah, no. I can tell you right now that it was dumb fucking luck. If I did have superpowers, I would hope they are better than me not feeling pain or some shit like that.” Robert said annoyed as he grabbed some paper towels to wipe himself off.
“I mean, we’ve seen worse powers. Remember Sewerman?” Chase asked with a cackle.
“Oh… I mean, he wasn’t… he tried his best to…” Blazer trailed off, trying to find something nice to say, but failing.
“See? What did I fucking say?” Chase stated.
At this point, Beef had decided he was sick of being held and wiggled a little to get down. Chase put him down and he rushed over to his owner’s side, jumping up a little to place his tiny paws on Robert’s leg. Robert chuckled as he reached down to pet Beef’s head.
“Look, superpower talk aside, it’s a little hot water. It’s fine, ok? I’m going to go home, put some cream on it and I will be right as rain in the morning.” Robert stated.
The trio looked at each other, but eventually Blazer nodded.
“Very well, but please take care of those, alright?” she asked.
“I will. Now all of you, out so I can put my shirt back on.” Robert demanded.
Chase grumbled about technically being allowed in here because it was the men’s restroom, but Blazer just put a hand on Chase’s shoulder and directed him out the door. Robert looked around, but didn’t see Invisigal.
“You too.” he demanded to the empty air.
Invisigal appeared again, gave a cheeky grin before quickly moving out the door. Robert just rolled his eyes.