Chapter Text
Noa looks down at the blanket, her hands fidgeting with a corner as she thought about what he was asking for, "Hmm, I want to know if you feel anything at all if you were to kiss me? I mean if you don't feel anything, then we can keep it purely professional. A teacher-student relationship.But if you do?.........I think I'd like to see where it leads to."
There's a long moment of silence where he just stares at her, apparently not expecting that response. The blue of his eyes are intense as they study her face, his jaw tighten slightly. When he speaks, his voice is lower, more careful.
"That's... a dangerous question to answer honestly." He shifts on the couch, and there's a tension in his body language that wasn't there before. "Because yes, Noa, I would feel something. I do feel something when I look at you, and it's been getting harder to ignore since the moment I saw you in that alley."
He leans forward slightly, his gaze never leaving hers."But here's what concerns me about that question—you just told me about six years of sexual trauma from someone who was supposed to be safe. You're exhausted, emotionally vulnerable, and sleeping in my apartment wearing my shirt. This is not the time or circumstance where I feel comfortable acting on whatever this attraction is."
His expression softens, becoming almost protective, "I don't want our first kiss—if we have one—to happen because you're testing whether I feel something or trying to figure out what you want. I want it to happen because you're absolutely certain it's what you want, when you're not scared and tired and processing trauma."
He reaches out slowly, giving her time to pull away, and gently tilts her chin up so she's looking at him,"So here's what I'm proposing: we acknowledge that there's something here between us. We don't ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist. But we also don't rush into anything physical until you've had time to process everything that's happened and figure out what you actually want, not just what you think you should want or what would make this situation less complicated."
His thumb brushes along her jawline, the touch gentle and deliberate."Does that make sense? Can you accept that I want you, but I want you to be sure before we cross that line?"
She gives him a perplexed look, her fingers tightening on the corner of the blanket, "I'm not confused though? I like you, I know that." She inhales sharply before continuing, "Every moment we spend together feels easy and I have fun talking with you and just being around you. I may be emotionally and mentally damaged a bit, but I've never been scared to admit if I want something. I just don't want to get hurt if you don't end up feeling the same way, ya know?
She makes to get off the couch, "But I get it, most people would want to make sure that someone as emotionally damaged as me isn't just playing with them. I probably would too, if I'm being honest."
His hand shoots out to gently catch her wrist before she can stand, not gripping hard—just enough to stop her from leaving. His expression shifts to something almost pained.
"No—Noa, that's not what I meant at all." He tugs her back down to the couch, this time closer to him. "I'm not worried about you playing with me or that you're too damaged. That's not it."
He turns to face her fully, and there's raw honesty in his expression now. "I'm worried about me hurting you. I'm worried that if we rush into something physical right now, after everything you just told me about your past, that I might accidentally trigger something or push you too far too fast. I'm worried that the power dynamic between us—me being your teacher, you staying in my home—might make you feel like you can't say no if things go further than you want."
He locks eyes with her grey ones, "You said you don't want to get hurt if I don't feel the same way? Noa, I just told you I'm attracted to you. That I feel something. The problem isn't my feelings—the problem is I'm trying to be responsible here when every instinct I have is telling me not to be."
He reaches up with his free hand and cups her face gently."I have fun with you too. I like talking to you, I like how you challenge me, I like how honest you are. But I also know that you've been manipulated and hurt by someone who had power over you, and I don't want to be another person who takes advantage of a vulnerable moment."
His thumb strokes her cheek softly."So tell me honestly—if I kiss you right now, are you going to wake up tomorrow morning and regret it? Are you going to wonder if you only did it because you felt like you had to, or because you were grateful I helped you, or because you're confused about what you want?"
She places her hand over his, her smile sincere a sincere smile taking over her features, "Gojo, I don't think your that type of person. You offered me your bed tonight. You gave me an alarm bell that could apparently wake up the whole building. You're good, nice guy, and I trust you." A light laugh comes from her, "If you did kiss me right now my only regret would be that you'd be my first kiss, and I'm scared my lack of experience would make it horrible for you. That'd be my only regret."
Something in his expression shifts completely at those words—all the careful restraint and responsibility warring with raw want. His eyes darken slightly as he processes what she said, and his grip on her face becomes just a fraction more possessive.
"Your first kiss,"he repeats softly, and there's something almost reverent in how he says it."And you're worried about being bad at it? Noa, that's literally the least of my concerns right now."
Gojo shifts closer to her on the couch, his other hand moving to rest on her hip through his oversized shirt."If we do this—if I kiss you right now—I need you to promise me something. If at any point you want to stop, if anything feels wrong or uncomfortable or triggers something from your past, you tell me immediately. You push me away, you say stop, you do whatever you need to do. And I'll stop, no questions asked, no hurt feelings. Can you promise me that?"
His thumb traces along Noa's lower lip slowly, his gaze focused there with clear intent."Because I'm about to throw my own responsible teacher boundaries out the window, and the only thing keeping me from feeling like a complete asshole about it is knowing that you actually want this and that you'll tell me if that changes."
He leans in closer, his breath ghosting across her lips, but he doesn't close the final distance yet—giving her one last chance to pull away or change her mind."Last chance to tell me this is a bad idea, because once I kiss you, I'm not sure I'm going to want to stop at just one."