sleep, now, under my skin
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Listing Series
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with hearts that are guilty, not remorseful by according2thelore
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
23 Feb 2023
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Summary
“I’ve wanted you since I knew what wanting was.” It’s a fact, as plain as the day. The sky is blue. Their mother was killed by a demon. They hunt monsters. Sam wants Dean. “I’ve loved you for longer, I think.”
“God,” Dean’s voice is barely a whisper, raising a hand to grip his own hair by the roots and pulling. He looks absolutely wretched. “I fucked you up, didn’t I?”
Series
- Part 1 of sleep, now, under my skin
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Summary
Dean tortured Sam for nine years, three hundred and sixty-two days. Every soul—every damn one, hundreds—wore Sammy’s face. They had his voice, had his body, had his hair falling into his eyes. They had the little scar under his jaw from when Dean taught him to ride a bike, the mole just under his left eye.
Dean learned how to take him apart.
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An exploration of the torture in Hell not only being physical.
NOW UPDATED with part two, in which Dean tells Sam why he can't look him in the eye, and wakes up with a knife in his hands.
Series
- Part 2 of sleep, now, under my skin
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i am waiting at the counter for the man to pour the coffee by according2thelore
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
25 Feb 2023
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Summary
There’s something strange about the boys in the corner booth.
Series
- Part 3 of sleep, now, under my skin
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Summary
Dean has a wad of money hidden in his bag. It’s folded into a skin mag that he bought in Duluth, which itself is folded into a tube of socks. He calls it his Sammy Stash. Dad and Sam don’t know about it. It’s a stack of crumpled bills he’s earned through hustling at pool and hoarded from short-term jobs he’s worked, pressed flat as they can go to look as inconspicuous as possible. It’s for one very specific purpose, in the same way Dean’s entire life has had one very specific purpose.
Series
- Part 4 of sleep, now, under my skin
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souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt by according2thelore
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
10 May 2023
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Summary
“What should we—“ The real Sam starts to ask, but the image of Sam reaches his arms out, as if grabbing for someone. Sam falls silent.
Someone steps into the cradle of his arms—appearing between one blink and the next—and Sam’s arms wind around them like he knows exactly who they are. He smiles, slow and happy, a hand sliding into short brown hair. It’s a man, Dean realizes, a little surprised.
Sam makes a noise behind him, and Dean doesn’t understand for a second. That’s when he realizes he doesn't recognize the person because he’s not used to looking at this person from the back: it’s him. It’s Dean in his brother’s arms, sliding a leg between Sam’s and leaning forward so Sam has no choice but to press his back fully to the trunk. Sam’s eyes go soft as he looks down at him, and it shouldn’t feel like a punch to the gut, but it does.
“Dean,” He says, and every hair on Dean’s own body raises, as if the Sam behind him had leaned forward and whispered it into his own ear.
And they kiss.
~~~
Dark Side of the Moon!AU where while running from Zachariah the boys run into a forest that can show them their greatest fear or desire. Dean--not knowing which it is--doesn't take it well.
Series
- Part 5 of sleep, now, under my skin
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there's no such thing as a clean break, when your heart starts bleeding out by according2thelore
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
10 May 2023
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Summary
“One second,” Sam says, away from the microphone, talking to his perfect, smart, bloodless friend. “What’s up?” Sam asks, to Dean again.
What’s up?
Dean’s holding his guts in with a hoodie. He’s in a ditch on the side of the road, amidst miles and miles of farmland on the side of a highway Dean’s forgotten the number of. A werewolf had done it, so at least Dean gets to look up at a full moon as he dies. After Dad hadn’t picked up, Dean knew there was only one person he wanted to hear from. Only one person who mattered.
“Nothing much,” Dean says, a little strained as a throb of agony rolls up his body. “Thinking about hitting up a bar in a few and thought I’d check in.”
Series
- Part 6 of sleep, now, under my skin
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tell me, why are you still so afraid? by according2thelore
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
07 Jun 2023
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Summary
“What do you want, Sam?” Dean asks, looking up and down the aisles of the gas station. Colorful candy bars make his stomach rumble, and he picks up a Snickers bar. It promises to be share size, so Dean looks down at his little brother.
Sam trails after him, and the hem of his jeans are stuck under the heel of his shoe. If he keeps walking on them, they’ll fray, and they can’t afford to replace 'em. Dean puts the candy bar back and kneels, tapping Sam on the calf so he’ll lift up his foot. Sam quietly acquiesces. Dean props his worn sneaker on his knee.
~~~
A look into Dean asking Sam what he wants, giving him what he needs, and how that changes over the years. (Pre-Series through Season 5)
Series
- Part 7 of sleep, now, under my skin
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Summary
The best part about being Dean Winchester is that Sam Winchester needs him. The worst part about being Dean Winchester is that Sam needs him.
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A look into the ways that Sam needs Dean as they grow up, of what Dean thinks he owes to Sam.
Series
- Part 8 of sleep, now, under my skin