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Terms and Conditions by chacarron
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
17 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
“Hey,” the kid says, offering a gloved hand. “I’m Spider-Man.”
Jason stares at the hand. “Get. Out of. My face.”
“Cool, me too,” the kid says as if that made any fucking sense. “But also, there’s, like, a very large man with a weird Red Riding Hood thing going on pointing a gun at my face, so I’m calling this a teachable moment.”
“I don’t point guns at faces,” Jason says. He absolutely does. “I point them at kneecaps.”
The kid’s hand hovers in the air a second longer, then drops. He bounces on the balls of his feet, kinetic energy with a conscience. “So what’s your deal? Big red bucket, voice modulator set to ‘haunt my enemies,’ a fashionable assortment of weapons. Batman adjacent?”
“Batman distant,” Jason says. “And the deal is: you’re in my territory.”
“Oh. Sorry! I didn’t know territories were, like, a thing. Do you have a flag? I can make a flag. I’m very DIY when it comes to silk-based products.”
Jason racks the pistol and holsters it because if he doesn’t, he’s going to do something unhelpful, like shoot this idiot charmingly dead.
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
27 Nov 2025
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Tags
Summary
Gotham was built on a cave system. Batman has referenced a Bat Cave before. Tim is currently in the cave system. He is in the cave system that he entered from Drake Manor. Drake Manor is right next door to where Batman- The Bruce Wayne- lives. Holy Cavern, Batman! Tim had just accidentally wandered into the Bat Cave’s cave system.
OR
Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There.
Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child.
Series
- Part 1 of Gotham Caves and Reality Aberrations
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,113
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 110
- Comments:
- 3,114
- Kudos:
- 19,180
- Bookmarks:
- 5,184
- Hits:
- 299,862
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
17 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
One of the actual best things I have ever read. Will read until it's behind my eyelids, echoed in my mind during silence.
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The Monster at the End of This Book by yellow_caballero
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
28 Oct 2020
Tags
Summary
Every year, the Supernatural Society of Britain holds its annual academic and social conference EvilCon. This year, it will be held in 1999, Bournemouth, England - and almost-teenager Jonathan Sims is going to make it an EvilCon nobody will ever forget.
Easier said than done, when Jon has to evade time-traveling history teachers and overbearing parental figures. When it comes to dealing with Messiahs of the Eternal Flame, rare book hunters, and the looming threat of a future apocalypse, he needs all the help he can get. Can Jon untangle these games of mistaken identities - and will he ever find out who the mysterious figure known as the Archivist truly is?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,282
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 82
- Kudos:
- 631
- Bookmarks:
- 219
- Hits:
- 5,943
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
08 Apr 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
The kind of fic that made me put my phone down and whisper "oh fuuuuuck" and wish a SINGLE one of my friends would understand
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Tags
Summary
Jason Todd thought he was ready for anything when he headed to Titans Tower to have a talk with Robin. He was not ready for Stephanie Brown.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,533
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 286
- Kudos:
- 2,006
- Bookmarks:
- 625
- Hits:
- 14,555
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
18 Mar 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Am I starting my period or is it just that good? Both, both.
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Tags
Summary
“Okay, but what are the rules?”
Ravi stares. “The rules for…?”
“Casual sex.”
Ravi continues to stare. It is 5:39 in the morning.
Buck keeps talking, unprompted. “I can’t just go back to Buck 1.0. Bobby will not give me a third chance if I steal the ladder truck again.”
“You don’t need to steal the ladder truck to have casual sex.”
Buck huffs, as if Ravi is intentionally missing the point. “Well, yeah, but who knows what Buck 1.0.2 would be capable of.”
Ravi shakes his head. “I really need the software updates to stop.”
or, an au where buck broke up with taylor before 5b, ravi and buck become (actually platonic) friends with benefits, and ravi, eddie, and buck all go on a journey of self-discovery that ends with them all getting what they need
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 85,090
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 407
- Kudos:
- 4,303
- Bookmarks:
- 1,532
- Hits:
- 69,846
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
22 Jan 2025
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Tags
Summary
“Someone referred to me as your wife the other day.” Buck started.
Eddie choked on air. His cheeks were so pink. Why did he blush like that? Buck was paler than him, and yet somehow he didn’t blush anywhere near as hard as Eddie himself did.
“Do you think of me as your old ball and chain?” Eddie asked, going along with the joke despite the frankly upsetting colour of his cheeks. How was this Buck looking in love with him? Obviously they were comfortable with each other, but still.
Buck gasped, his eyes big, his back straightening out as he got ready to fight with God himself on this topic. Eddie knew immediately the rant he had started, Buck’s mockingly serious voice raising as he stared Eddie down intently.
“I would never refer to my wife as the old ball and chain. You don’t hold me down, you pick me up, you dirty little bitch. You’re the wind beneath my wings. God.”
OR -
Buddie as The Basement Yard boys.
Series
- Part 1 of Buddie as the Basement Yard
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Tags
Summary
The thing was, the 118 was full of gossips.
Eddie had been at the station less than a week before Hen and Chim wrangled details about his “hot young thing” from him (“Buck is only 4 years younger than me, he is not a ‘hot young thing’!” Eddie complained.)
And Bobby was open about his worries for his son’s lack of direction and the secrets he appears to be keeping (“I just wish I could help Evan find the thing that gives him purpose,” Bobby lamented.)
It just made it all the more ridiculous (and horrifying) when Eddie realizes he’s been dating his Captain’s son this whole time (“Defiling his baby,” Chimney cackled, because he clearly wanted Eddie murdered.)
--
Or, the AU where miscommunication abounds as Eddie seeks advice about his new relationship, Bobby despairs over his adopted son's career prospects and his refusal to talk about it, and Evan Buckley-Nash juggles training at the fire academy, building a family with his new boyfriend, and trying to work out how to tell his overprotective dad that he's already chosen the life he wants, actually.
It takes a goddamn tsunami, of all things, to get the story straight.Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,866
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,274
- Kudos:
- 13,120
- Bookmarks:
- 3,086
- Hits:
- 237,511
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
09 Dec 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
Haha have fun on this ride, it's delectable
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Tags
Summary
Buck and Eddie are friends - best friends. Neither has had a close male friendship quite like this one. So it must be totally normal to think about your best friend's dick 24/7, right? And jerk off together? And make-out? And have phone sex? And...
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or: Buck and Eddie are the most oblivious idiots on the planet and literally everyone knows they're in love but them.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,788
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 225
- Kudos:
- 2,258
- Bookmarks:
- 609
- Hits:
- 47,561
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
19 Nov 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
Actual blisteringly hot sex scenes like?? My god. Somehow gave my afab ass gender euphoria
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Tags
Summary
Years before joining the 118, Buck’s travels take him to El Paso, where he meets Christopher. When Eddie comes back from Afghanistan and Shannon leaves, Buck ends up staying. As bills pile up, the best move is for them to get married, just for convenience, they’ll divorce when Eddie comes back from his re-enlistment.
Then Eddie gets injured and it’s just easier to stay married for a little longer, while Buck gets started at the 118. However, Buck doesn’t mention his ‘husband’ and kid, not feeling like they’re his to keep. When Eddie gets the offer from Bobby, they decide to lie and pretend they don’t know each other, so they can work together.
The whole lie gets out of hand as feelings start to become real, until it all comes to a head in the aftermath of the fire engine explosion.
AKA: Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.
Series
- Part 1 of The I Do Verse
- Part 1 of All the Different Ways to Say I Do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 213,242
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Comments:
- 6,255
- Kudos:
- 7,081
- Bookmarks:
- 2,128
- Hits:
- 322,308
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
08 Nov 2024
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Tags
Summary
#thosetwofirefighters starts to gather a following on social media, as everyone tries to figure out if those two cute firefighters from the 118 in LA are a thing or not.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 75,850
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 19
- Comments:
- 1,367
- Kudos:
- 23,999
- Bookmarks:
- 7,735
- Hits:
- 556,154
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
14 Oct 2024
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Former Heroes (Who Quit Too Late) by emmacortana for littered
Fandoms: Marvel, Spider-Man (Ultimateverse), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
05 Dec 2023
Tags
Summary
Trust Fury to fuck everything up. Now Peter's in a position of leadership he didn't want, with a hundred scared mutant kids hiding (read: stuck) on an alternate universe, and Johnny can barely even look at him. The last thing he needs is any more eyes on him—especially from those weird vigilantes who seem to hold the same anti-mutant (or meta) beliefs as everyone back home.
Unfortunately, Parker luck is trans-universal.
Series
- Part 10 of Spider and Bat Friends
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,495
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 425
- Kudos:
- 5,352
- Bookmarks:
- 1,139
- Hits:
- 58,610
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
08 Jul 2024
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Cursed to See (But Not to Hear) by whsky
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
13 Jul 2025
Tags
Summary
Peter Parker is Stephen Strange's last hope at keeping Earth-616 alive. So when Peter is transported to a place he doesn't know, his only two instincts are to learn as much as he can and stay away from the vigilantes. But, he finds it increasingly hard to just survive within the city as everything is just so loud.
Being in a new environment has changed Peter Parker in more ways than one. But the most noticeable change amongst the ones he has developed has to do with his hearing. Becoming more "spidery" might not be good for his vigilante career... but what do they know? He's still your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,346
- Chapters:
- 16/?
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 411
- Kudos:
- 3,630
- Bookmarks:
- 943
- Hits:
- 90,459
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
09 Jun 2024
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Leap of Faith by alighterwood, DandelionPrince, ErinWantsToWrite
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
13 Feb 2025
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Summary
He clicks on Gotham Wikipedia with bated breath. And it doesn’t take long for Peter to figure out just how bad the situation is. Gotham isn’t just a city, it’s apparently a hellhole. What kind of villain playground is this world running? How could anyone let it get this bad? Where is the government? Where are the heroes?
Peter’s heart swells at the thought. He needs heroes! They’ll be able to help him! The first thing that pops up is a website- JusticeLeague.Org.
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Peter, like any 14 year old superhero, really wants to catch a break. He's just a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, nothing special. Well, only if you don't look at his biology ever since the radioactive spider bite. And his extensive track record of running away and deaths in his life. And that his foster-dad is Tony Stark. And that his mentors are the Avengers. And the fact that he was randomly kidnapped one morning on his way to school and now he's in an alternate universe with a bunch of different superheroes that keep stalking him.He thinks they mean well, but they're really weird. Besides that Red Hood guy. He's pretty cool.
Series
- Part 2 of Catch Me, if You Can
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 489,151
- Chapters:
- 19/?
- Comments:
- 5,844
- Kudos:
- 31,688
- Bookmarks:
- 8,411
- Hits:
- 1,566,877
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
07 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
I mean what can I say it's the 2024 'Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries' just more interesting and deep
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Tags
Summary
Booster doesn't do dating. So this thing with Ted? Definitely casual. Totally not a relationship in the least. Right?
COMPLETED.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,069
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 389
- Kudos:
- 987
- Bookmarks:
- 183
- Hits:
- 14,133
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
26 May 2024
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Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Fantastic Four, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, X-Men - All Media Types
10 Dec 2017
Tags
Summary
Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.
“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."
_____
Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.
Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.
Series
- Part 1 of More Spidery Spider-Man
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 73,830
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 547
- Kudos:
- 5,871
- Bookmarks:
- 1,855
- Hits:
- 83,499
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
16 May 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
Ok ok ok ok maybe I'm a monsterfucker, maybe it's Maybelline. Either way this is exquisite
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Banshee In A Well by bugbee, liverobinreaction (bugbee)
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
02 Apr 2023
Tags
Summary
Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.
When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.
But most of all, Tim is alone.
(If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?)
Series
- Part 1 of bury the dead where they're found
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,025
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 139
- Comments:
- 1,793
- Kudos:
- 25,122
- Bookmarks:
- 7,746
- Hits:
- 327,853
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
05 May 2024
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Tags
Summary
The universe Bruce wakes up in has superheroes, aliens and, somewhat more strangely, it also has four children living in Wayne Manor.
Bruce Wayne is almost forty. He's been an innovator, a philanthropist and GQ's Most Wanted twelve years counting. He doesn't remember being a dad. But now that he is, he's going to be the best dad one could possibly be.
Or: Batman is a dick. AU-Bruce saves the day.
Series
- Part 1 of The French Mistake(s)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,791
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 103
- Comments:
- 1,225
- Kudos:
- 23,281
- Bookmarks:
- 6,312
- Hits:
- 198,266
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
03 May 2024
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arachnophobia by thexfictionxstallion
Fandoms: Spider-Man: Spider-Verse (Sony Animated Movies), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
04 Apr 2024
Tags
Summary
See, Hobie Brown’s used to making things up as he goes. Work well on his feet, he does. As soon as the portal had closed and he realized this- this wasn’t where he set off, he knew he didn’t have time to waste. Whatever Earth this was, it was none he had been in before, and most of all, something inside him, the spider, was telling him something was off. Something was different. He wasn’t sure whether to interpret it in a positive or negative way.
- OR Hobie falls into a universe with no spider-man after his watch malfunctions.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,179
- Chapters:
- 4/?
- Comments:
- 294
- Kudos:
- 1,657
- Bookmarks:
- 391
- Hits:
- 16,241
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
13 Apr 2024
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Dark Matter by mysterycyclone
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
19 Jun 2024
Tags
Summary
The last thing Peter sees is Tony's horrified, heartbroken expression leaning over him. The guilt in his eyes is almost worse than the burning pain that's taking Peter apart piece by piece. The world starts to go dark.
There's a flash of gold and green. For one moment, he finds himself standing amongst the Guardians and others. And then darkness again. It feels like blinking; an extended period of nothingness that ends as abruptly as it begins. One moment there’s nothing, the next there’s light.
“Easy,” a woman says. Her words are gentle, and carry a slight accent that he can’t place. "I'm called Wonder Woman. What's your name?"
Series
- Part 1 of Dark Matter Multiverse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 241,043
- Chapters:
- 46/46
- Collections:
- 100
- Comments:
- 19,463
- Kudos:
- 93,255
- Bookmarks:
- 23,121
- Hits:
- 3,294,004
Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
02 Mar 2024
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Bookmarked by TeacupCryptids
19 Jan 2024